I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go.
Is there somewhere you can meet me?
'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings.
And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.
You don’t know why it hurts. You don’t know what this is. It’s been about five months since you last saw her in person. The last time you saw her was at her show, and you spent the whole night together because you were leaving back to college after your semester break. She talked about the night he proposed, how perfect it was and how she thought it only existed in movies.
You don’t know why it caused your heart to ache. Her eyes were glassy; her face was glowing despite her being tired of pouring her heart out for the show. You guessed she noticed your face because she apologized for talking about her relationship too much. She then asked how you’re doing.
She asked if you’re dating any cute college boy. You changed the topic on the thing you learned in a class. You told her about the red string of fate. You didn’t know why you chose that topic in particular but you guys were drunk and she was talking about love and it was all you could think of. Thank God she enjoyed the topic. She asked many questions but you failed to answer one question.
“So there’s a string on my pinky connected to Shawn’s?”
You smiled and talked about her show instead. She was too tipsy to notice. You left the morning after and kissed her cheek, congratulating her on her engagement. She forced you to promise that you’ll be at the wedding, and you laughed insisting on her that there will be no wedding for at least two years. She was about to say something but you were late so you left.
Now, she’s walking down the aisle. She’s biting the corner of her lips while looking straight at the guy at the end of the aisle who has a wide smile on his face. She let out a deep breath and you feel yourself smiling. Shawn raised his fist in the air as she kissed him.
You approached Normani. She looks amazing, and she definitely looks like a professional model now. After the group has broken up, they all went on their own way but promised to keep in contact but sometimes promises are meant to be broken.
Ally continued her career as a singer; she’s one of the biggest names in the industry. Dinah just finished shooting her second movie and you’re a proud college student. They're all living our dreams. You always did have college in mind. You started a bit late but you managed to catch up. You missed singing on stage and you have lots of people trying to sign you but for now those memories with the girls are enough.
“Weird how she tied the knot first, huh?” You heard Normani while she was staring at Camila. You nodded. She then talked about how there is a Ford’s model who has a crush on you and kept asking for your number. He’s good looking with his sharp jaw and chestnut eyes but you’re glad she didn’t give it out though.
After Dinah’s speech, she poked you and you stood up. You looked around and noticed how all eyes are on you. Well, shit. You immediately took the glass of champagne and cleared your throat.
“Good evening. Wow, um okay not gonna lie, this is making me really nervous. I like to think I’m good with speech with all my ranting on tumblr but guess I’m not.” You laughed along with the people. You then looked down at Camila, who’s resting her head on her husband’s shoulder.
“The first time I saw Cam, she was sitting backstage. Her knees were shaking and I sat next to her, asking if she was next. She then said she wasn’t even sure if she was ever gonna sing at all. Then it was my turn and I wished her luck. When she was on that stage singing her heart out, I immediately know she’ll make it and that I’ll be her biggest fan.” Camila smiled, her recently dry eyes now watery.
“Sometimes I wondered how someone can hurt this tiny human. I mean look at her!” I pointed at her with my champagne. Shawn nodded, looking down at his bride. “Look at her.” You whispered not caring who heard you.
“Shawn, there are so many guys that failed to get my approval and for a while, you were on that list.” He chuckled, kissing Camila’s head. “There’s one that the whole world found out about who is openly an asshole and she’s the one getting hates for being broken. It’s ridiculous and I really want to preach about sexism!” The whole crowd laughed again. “I guess I will always be very protective of her even if she’s far away from me.” She continued.
“I told Cam about the red string of fate the night she told me about the proposal. She asked if there was a string connected to your pinky to hers. I didn’t answer because she already knew the answer. It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. A fact.” The newlyweds stared at each other.
“And Shawn? I know you’re it for her. You are perfect for her. You are her Noah from Notebook, Troy Bolton and the Flynn Rider to her.” You smiled. “If you screw this up, I will haunt you down.” They wiped each other’s tears before looking back at you.
“Congratulations to the lovely couple. Shawn and Camila, may your marriage last till the end of time. Cheers.” You raised your glass and the couples stood up. You took a sip of the champagne and then smiled at the couple.
The dancing floor is packed. You’re pretty sure your parents dancing too, but you’re too tired to move so you decided to dance your lips to the rim of the champagne glass. She walked towards you after her first dance, snatching away your drink and finished it in one breath.
“Sorry, thirsty.” She grinned. “So, that was a beautiful speech.”
“Nah, it was nothing.”
“It was amazing, Laur! Pretty sure Mani cried! And your dad cried too!”
“He’s always crying, Cam.”
“True. Well still! It’s beautiful! Everyone was focusing on your speech.” You nodded, smiling softly. You noticed the strand of hair falling down her face and you clenched your hand to avoid touching it. There’s a red bright lipstick on her left cheek, probably from Sinu’s. You’re itching to lay a kiss.
“That guy seems to think so too.”
“There’s a guy, the server, behind you, he’s looking at you! He’s cute! I think he’s your type.” You slowly turned your head and there was indeed a guy staring at you. You looked back at her and shook your head. “Not looking for anyone.” You said. Someone called her name and kissed your cheek before walking away.
“Hi.” Someone approached you. It was that guy.
“Actually, I’m not lookin—“
“Oh no! No!”
“No! I mean you’re gorgeous but see that guy there?” He pointed at a tall guy who’s flirting with the guest. “That’s my boyfriend. Well, only we both know that but still.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“The bride. You’re in love with the bride.”
You’re dumbfounded. What do you say to that? Deny it. Deny it, Lauren! God.
“You don’t have to deny it. I can see how it was killing you to not kiss her when she snatched your drink just now. And those speech? Honey, come on.” He winked and you’re both chuckled.
“Were you guys a couple before the group broke up?” Hearing that still hurt a bit. You wished it didn’t have to end. You guys were on top of the world, dominating the charts but things changed. Fans changed.
“No. It’s just… I don’t know. I just really found out I guess. I’ve always denied it.”
“So camren was real after all?” You raised your eyebrow. He mouthed ‘guilty’.
“Sorry, we don’t talk about that, huh?” He whispered, smiling. “Someday you’ll meet someone. Your pinky is tied to someone, somewhere too.” You let his words haunt you the entire night as you stared at her.
When you got home, you picked up the pen and wrote a song after years of not doing it. You called someone who’s been waiting for your call. You looked down at the song you just wrote in a few hours. It was obvious you were shaking and crying when you wrote it.
You stared at the title.
‘Red String of Fate’
“So why the hell do you think it’s okay to call me at 3 am and forced me to come to your God damn apartment, Jauregui? And are you drunk? You look like a mess.” Your best friend said, putting down the keys.
“You know how you said whenever I’m ready to sing again you’ll be my personal assistant?”
“Yeah…?” She walked closer, looking down at the paper.
“Do—do you think someone want to sign a non-straight artist?”
She smile widely and wrapped her arms around you.