Hide had never pondered how people looked at him and Kaneki. Or rather, how they looked to people.
It took a crammed ride in the backseat of a moving truck, and a very disgruntled driver to bring it to his mind.
"Yeah, probably been forty minutes now. Traffic is awful today."
He wakes up quietly, too comfortable in the warmth of Kaneki's lap to open his eyes. He hears Kaneki lightly snore after their driver pauses his phone conversation.
"Awful drive. Bad weight. And to boot a pair of gross teenagers. You know how they get, slithering all over each other and all."
Slithering? Hide snorts in amusement, realizes he was supposed to be asleep, and covers it by coughing and snuggling deeper into Kaneki's arm.
"Nah, maybe a lil less horny than they usually be. I mean the sugary type with rainbows on their asses."
Hide wheezes this time, goes into a real coughing fit, and wakes Kaneki up.
"What is it?" He whispers sleepily, touching a cold hand to Hide's forehead.
"Get your feet off the window."
"You've been laying down this entire ride. And I'm numb from pillowing you. You're sleeping on the floor tonight."
As if they only just remembered their destination, they look at each other excitedly.
Kaneki smiles sleepily, but it might've been malice at that moment."Yay floor."
For one reason or another, Hide did end up sleeping on the floor. Partially because they were too tired to fix proper bedding after heaving all their furniture in, and partially because Kaneki was cranky from having been crammed in one position for more than an hour. It wore off quickly, though, because soon he'd dragged his blanket and pillow and tucked himself against Hide's back.
Of course, given the circumstance of an impossibly cute centipede boyfriend clinging to his waist, it was unreasonable for Hide to go to sleep without kissing him senseless.
"Sex," Kaneki had offered, half asleep, half ready to take it upon himself to go forth with the offer.
"Uh, I'd rather have a protective surface under me. Like a mattress." Hide negotiates."Have mercy on my hips."
Kaneki isn't too pleased, but Kaneki also wasn't exactly your romantic sex God. His ghoulish antics and raging levels of testosterone basically defined him in bed.
Since no mattress= no sex,
The solution was sleep. Sleep so much that by morning they had resolved they wouldn't be sleeping for another thirty six hours.
They probably wouldn't anyway, with all the unpacking ahead of them.
"Okay, so, we reassemble the bed first," Hide decides.
"Project bless and have mercy on Hide's hips." Kaneki snorts, lovingly snapping Hide's boxers elastic.
"I say we mop up first. It's clean, but I'll be reassured if I mop it with my own hands."
"Point, I guess."
They mopped, Hide complained when he realized the place really was clean and it was unnecessary, and the cleaning ended when Kaneki found a mouse, dangled it by the tail and chased Hide around the apartment with it until he nearly jumped out the window. The asshole took pictures, too.
When that episode of trauma was over they reassembled the bed and Hide silently plotted his revenge. He wasn't feeling very creative, so nothing came to his mind just then.
For a while they each took to a section of the apartment, Kaneki to the kitchen and Hide amongst an array of open boxes in the bedroom. Despite how exciting the prospect of moving in together and unpacking was, there was a lot to be done.
"I broke something," Kaneki announces after an ear splitting shatter, in a flat way only a stunned child could pull off.
"Nice." Hide saunters into the hallway and snaps pictures of Kaneki standing by a floor littered with opaque glass. Kaneki throws his hands in the air incredulously when he notices, then flips him off with both hands.
"What an asshole you are."
"Returning the favour. The breaking is a great omen to start in a new home, by the way." Hide tucks his phone away and grabs a dustpan.
"I told you to start it off with sex, but you didn't listen. Best home builder, I tell you."
Hide laughs wholeheartedly."But my hips?"
"Fuck your hips." Kaneki says through a snicker."No, oh my god, I love your hips."
"Can we please stop talking about my hips?"
"Alright, we can talk about my* hips."
"At least I take care of those." Quite a conversation to have, in all honesty.
"But I make a masterpiece of yours. Like Van Goh's Starry Night, maybe better."
That was too much, even for Hide. He covers his face with his hands, caught between laughing incredulously and combusting. Kaneki cackles, disposes all the glass, then comes to hug him from behind in an attempt to reconcile."I apologize for my shitty humour."
"I'm just—you need to be censored in public."
"I'm so sorry. Feel free to kick me in the gut when I become too much." Kaneki kisses Hide's flush neck through a smile and by doing so becomes aware of his dizzying scent. "Mm." He buries his face in his hair and hums appreciatively.
"That tickles. And also, I smell like sweat there, so what are you doing?" Hide tries to pull away with a giggle, but Kaneki has him tight around the waist.
"What are you talking about? You smell like sex and tempting flesh."
"Eat me, then." Hide tosses his head back in a dramatic offering of his neck, but the ghoul only smiles and presses an upside down kiss to his lips.
"I'd rather have breakfast."
"I'm breakfast." Hide winks."I might've gained a pound or two, just for you babe."
"I'm going to slap you." Kaneki sighs, exasperated."Put some clothes and we'll head down to get coffee."
Hide feigns despondence as he walks away to find a sweater and pants. "You would eat me if I was the only human left, wouldn't you?" Hide continues from the bedroom.
Kaneki feels a shiver of disdain run up his spine. The topic alone made him want to hurl his guts out."That's such a stupid question, Hide."
"There are plenty of humans to go around."
"Nah." He decides to answer simply.
"Nah?" Hide mimics in a loveable way, where he peaks the second syllable."What would you do, then?"
"Die, of course."
Apparently, that was a very wrong answer, because Hide came out of the bedroom with the sleeve of his hoodie against his mouth and his tears spilling like the waterworks were suddenly turned on. Kaneki could only calm him down long enough for them to reach the cafe downstairs before Hide was bawling into his cup again and Kaneki was laughing at him but Hide was genuinely touched by his words.
"I didn't take you as a romantic in the 13 and some years I've known you." Kaneki jokes.
"It's the coffee, okay?" Hide sniffles, eyes bloodshot."It's the stupid coffee and you breaking the stupid cup and that stupid mouse."
"Hm," Kaneki quirks a gentle smile."Sounds like home."
Hide stares at him for a moment, not only at the gentle smile but his gentle eyes and the gentle splay of snowy hair against his forehead and his gentle fingers against the rim of his cup and God, why the fuck was he still crying in public at a goddamned Cafe.
"You're pretty when you cry."
"Oh my god, Kaneki." Hide covers his face with his hands and laughs it off. It's been so long, but his heartfelt comments weren't easy to get accustomed to.
"No really. You do the thing where your eyes go all soft and stuff and you subconsciously pout and then you like, go red everywhere and just—"
Hide burst out laughing.
Kaneki, caught off guard by the controversial but relieving switch, smiles again."I love you."
"Jesus, this is why you have to be censored in public."
"Oh, well pardon me but I thought you were the one crying like a lunatic only a minute ago."
Hide grins, grabs his cup and grabs Kaneki with his other hand."Come on, let's just go home already."