Her eyes opened slowly as light blinded her sight. She found herself lying down beside him with her head resting on his bare chest and her arm resting on his trunk while his arms were around her as he peacefully sleeps.
She closed her eyes as anxiety grew inside her. “What have I done?” She talked inside her head. She knew it shouldn’t have happened and she felt bad about it. She tried to recall what exactly happened and how it all lead to that.
She tried to avoid him for quite sometime and he felt it. He confronted her to the point that she had to admit her feelings for him even if she thought it was unlikely that he felt the same way — he does. She courageously confessed and cried in front of him that evening but he held her close and made her stop. “If you think you’re nothing to me, then you’re wrong.” She recalled him say before he placed a kiss on her lips — before they felt intensely linked that their hearts and bodies yearned for each other leading them to sleeping together.
“I shouldn’t have let it happen. I shouldn’t have confessed at the first place.” She reprimanded herself. She slowly tried to detached herself from him without waking him up. She quietly got herself fixed and sneaked away before he even wakes up.
Jim opened his eyes and explored his surroundings. He smiled as he recalled the reason why he was nakedly lying down his bed but his bright smile faded away immediately as he discovered that Mayim was no longer beside him. He sat down on his back and wondered where she was but it seemed that she already went away. He sighed and thought that she regrets what happened to them that’s why she left without a notice.
“I’m sorry.” Mayim immediately apologized as soon as they crossed their paths again on their workplace.
“It shouldn’t have happen… I’m being a mess, I’m sorry for dragging you-“
“It’s fine.” He cuts her in. “It’s fine. You’re not being a mess, okay?” He countered. He held her face and gazed at her anxious eyes with a smile. She really felt bad, she was being paranoid, she was thinking that he might be just saying words to comfort her even if it wasn’t really fine.
He was still gazing at her as he failed to fight his urge to kiss her but then, she avoided him. “This shouldn’t be happening. You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry.” She uttered and walked away leaving him confused and worried about her.
The next days has been rough, she was avoiding him keeping them from fixing things between them. Every time he tries to reach out for her and talk, she just won’t let him continue. She seemed not to give him choice for the next weeks but to just cut everything, their relationship and friendship off even if he hated that.
Mayim was about to hang out with Kaley and Melissa at the Westlake shopping center that day when she had to cancel it for the last minute after she felt ill that morning. She informed them that she can’t come via SMS. She was having mild nausea, fatigues and frequent constipation for the past few weeks and she blamed it all to stress but then this morning, she was badly nauseous that she vomited and it was kind of unusual to her. She decided to take medicines and Benadryl so she can put herself into deep sleep to regain her strength back, at least. She woke up fine and she concluded that it was just due to stress but her nausea remained consistent for the next days every morning and she started to recurrently vomit and it worried her.
She started observing herself the next days, she took medication for stress and health, she fixed her resting and sleeping patterns and she balanced her diet but the nausea and vomiting were still there.
One time, after she barfed at the sink, she tried to recover by wetting her face with the running water. She thought about what could her possible illness be but she felt so clueless, she was staring blankly at the wall of her until she realized she was staring at some pregnancy sticks lying somewhere in her bathroom that she had in stock for the past years. Suddenly, her symptoms flashed back to her. Her nausea, her constipations, fatigues and her vomiting that could possibly morning sickness.
She sighed as it slowly sank to her that she had an unprotected intercourse and that person she slept with was with Jim. Her heartbeats started to race as she considered trying to pee on a stick to make sure. She dropped her urine into the slot and waited for the results to appear for the next minutes. She closed her eyes and prayed that it wouldn’t be all positive, not that she didn’t like it but she thinks that she’s ready for it and it would be very troublesome.
“Please don’t be positive…” She wished before she opened her eyes to see the results.
She exhaled sharply as two lines flashed next to her eyes. Fear, anxiety and worry immediately swallowed her chest as she saw the stick presenting her pregnancy’s positivity. Her eyes started to turn teary as mixed emotions sullied her that very moment.
“Oh no…” She nearly cried. She, herself, knows that the stick confirms her pregnancy but then she took the last unused sticks to try again hoping that it was just some error but then, it just showed the same results.
“Oh my god…” She cried, she knew she had no choice but to accept the truth. “This can’t- Oh my god.” She swore and couldn’t help but blame herself.
I can’t blame Jim, I couldn’t blame him if he won’t be willing to take responsibility. It was my fault. If I didn’t confess, If I managed to hold back my emotions, nothing would have happened to us. If I was thinking well, I shouldn’t have let that night happened. Now I’m… pregnant, I have to take this on my own.
She cried so hard, she felt so heavy as if she’s carrying the world behind her back, it was too much for her to carry. She couldn’t flaunt her pregnancy; she can’t let everyone know. It was very complicated, she isn’t married to Jim, neither are they on a legal and formal relationship for it to be easy for her to tell everyone about it. She couldn’t think straight but she made up her mind that she’ll hide it for a while to everyone, even to Jim.
She was able to keep herself in tact for the next weeks and months though some of them noticed her distance from Jim, they just shrug it off. On another hand, even if she was succeeding in pretending everything’s normal, she knew she couldn’t keep it as a secret forever. Eventually, her stomach will get bigger, she’ll gain weight and everyone would know about her pregnancy, everyone would wonder who is the father of her child and she still has no idea how to deal with it or get through it. This paranoia stressed her, she would always cry from time to time and not bother to explain it to everyone who notices.
He entered her dressing room looking so determined to talk to her as he was alarmed with her frequent crying and issues.
“What are you doing-“
“We have to talk.” He said in a stern voice as he locked the door next to him.
They looked at each other waiting for one of them to initiate the talk. She was too afraid to open up things and so she remained silent.
“You really won’t tell me anything?” He asked seeming to be aware of everything, she remained silent and looked down the floor trying to hold back her tears.
Just like how she thought, she can’t keep her pregnancy as a secret forever, especially to Jim.
He grunted. He walked towards the couch where her bag was lying on. He opened it and took the pregnancy sticks that he saw just yesterday.
He flashed it to her and glared at her. “Explain these.” He demanded making her think she has no other choice. She remained silent and cried. “What does this positive pregnancy sticks doing on your bag? Did your friend leave it on your bag? What?!” He demanded for an answer but she didn’t know how to start explaining. He felt impatient. “Mayim, just tell me if you are pregnant!” He yelled at her.
“Yes!” She answered in pressure. “Yes…” She uttered crying. Jim’s anger suddenly vanished as he heard her confirmation, hence, it was replaced by curiosity and concern.
“Who is the father?” He asked.
It took her sometime before she was able to speak, she struggled. “Is it mine?” He asked courageously.
She cried harder and Jim had a hint. “Mayim, is it mine?” He asked again. She couldn’t stop crying, she knew it was the right time for him to know.
“Yes but I am not obliging you to take responsibility of this, it’s my fault and-“
“What? Mayim, why would you say that?! Of course that’s my responsibility. That’s our child!” He squelched her from further speaking.
“I… I know… I’m sorry. I just… I don’t want to drag you into this mess. It was my fault. I let thing happen and-“
“Mayim, it’s not just you. I wanted it too. Everything that happened between us that night, it was all mutual. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad and I’m not even regretting anything.” He countered making her speechless. She stopped crying somehow. “Really?” Her voice cracked.
“Not a single regret, Mayim.” He replied. “That’s why I don’t get the point why you are concluding that I won’t take responsibility of that child when we both made it. It’s ours. I would die for that child, Mayim.” He elaborated. She felt so relieved but some thoughts still bothered her.
“I’m so sorry…” She apologized. “I just… This shouldn’t have happen. I wasn’t ready, Jim. I cannot think straight since I discovered about this. I don’t know what to do. We’re not married. We’re not together. We still have a show… Jim… I don’t know what to do.” She confided. He wrapped her around his arms and stroked her arms to comfort her.
“Ssssh…” He uttered as she cried on his chest.
“You don’t have to worry. I won’t leave you. I’ll be here for you, I promise.” He remarked.
She felt relieved as if a thorn pricked on her chest has been removed. He kissed her head hoping that she would feel better, he didn’t want her to cry and get all worried knowing she’s expecting.
As she recovers from crying, they discussed about how to deal with the situation, how to tell the people and bosses about it in a best way. Mayim finally felt less stressed as Jim stood beside her since that day. He acted his words, he never left her since that day that he knew.
“I’ve always wanted a little one, you know.” He knelt down to talk and feel their baby on her stomach making her feel at ease.
“You do?” She asked. “Yeah. Whether this angel is a boy or a girl, I would totally love her… or him.” He added.
“I hope it’s a girl. I’ve always wanted a girl and our doctor said it’s a girl right?” She remarked. “She was not sure yet anyway but bet if she’s a she, she would be as beautiful as you.” He complimented as he continued holding his ears against her stomach.
Jim took all the responsibility of being the father of her child. He took care of her, he assisted her, he watched over her all the time making sure she’s all fine. He would also come with her during her check ups and share happiness whenever they watch their little one over the ultrasound screen.
One time during their OB/GYN check up, their doctor gave them some surprising news.
“Oh my God!” Their doctor squealed.
“What is it?” They asked in curiosity.
“She’s not the only one in there.” The doctor teased them. “What do you mean?” Jim inquired.
“You’re having a twins!” She happily informed them and explained to them the ultrasound image. Mayim and Jim couldn’t get any happier.
“The other one is a boy.” She added and pointed out. “We’re having a boy and a girl twins?!” Jim asked excitedly. “Yes! Congratulations!” Their doctor chimed.
“Oh my God!” Mayim cheered with him. “We’re having two angels! A mini you and mini me!” Jim grilled the happiness. They felt so happy to hear the news, it was the least thing they were expecting. They felt happier as the doctor told them that their babies were all healthy and strong as well.
Mayim’s stomach is quite flat yet during her 11th week, they were still able to keep it from the people but then it was inevitable for people not to see them going back and forth to the hospital, the paparazzis started to take candids of them and posting their theories about her being ill or being pregnant. They tried denying it for a while.
During her pregnancy’s 2nd trimester, right after they visited the hospital, interviewers swarmed them covering their paths and asking them about Mayim’s alleged pregnancy with him.
“Please, excuse us.”
“We can’t do interviews right now.”
Jim requested the noisy interviewers nagging them for answers but they kept blocking their way until the crowded media unconsciously bumped into Mayim making Jim very displeased.
“Hey!” He yelled at them. “You’re bumping into her! I said please excuse us!” He scolded them.
“What do you want?!” He asked in an angry tone. “Yes! She’s pregnant. We’re pregnant! Is that what you wanna hear?!” He confessed in anger.
“Now if you have respect in yourselves, please let us pass peacefully and leave us alone!” He continued and guided Mayim as they passed by the media.
Silence appeared as Mayim and Jim reached the car. Jim knew he went a bit far in scolding the media publicly.
“It’s fine.” He squelched silencing her. “I care more of your wellbeing than what they could possibly say to me.” He added as they sighed together.
She held his hand and smiled at him. “I love you.” She uttered making him feel at ease. He smiled back as he felt lifted with her sweet face and sparkling eyes looking back at him.
“I love you too…” He replied. “And I love these angels.” He added and pressed his face on her stomach again trying to listen to their babies.
Their stress and anxiety turned into happiness immediately as he talked and listened to his children on her tummy — as she watched him sincerely happy to have those children with her.
He saw her smiling at him whilst watching him feel them inside her stomach. He moved up and gazed at her.
“I love you.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips that she sweetly reciprocated. He broke from the kiss with a smile and gazed at her making her feel at ease.
“Thank you for being there with me, Jim. I don’t know if I can handle all these if you weren’t here.” She stated.
“I promised you that I won’t leave you, right? And a promise is a promise.” He replied and held her hand.