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There was scratching at his window, and Yuuki turned to his side, tried to crawl out of his futon. It wasn't easy. His arms were weak, trembling from exhaustion, and legs refused to move, already numb from the lack of blood in his body.

'I have to...' And it wasn't his thought, and at the same time it was. There was Tohru at the other side of his window, face sad and full of guilt, and tears probably running down his cheeks. The same Tohru, and at the same time he wasn't.

Yuuki forced his arms to move, crawling forward, cold sweat breaking out, t-shirt clinging to his chest in an uncomfortable, damp mess. A little bit more, snail's progress, and he was right under the window. Right there, but not yet. He had to open the window, but it seemed so far away, so far up. Standing was out of the question, so he crawled as close as he could, plastered himself against the wall, and reached up, trembling fingers clutching the windowsill. He had to do it. He had to. Because the voice in his head was ordering him to, and at the same time not. Because he wanted to see the too pale face covered in tears, guilty and sad, because it was still Tohru, even if he wasn't anymore.

He put all of his remaining strength into his arms, pulling himself up to open the window, and as the night breeze brushed his face, his muscles gave out, and he tumbled back to the floor, panting, too weak to move.

"Natsuno..." Tohru's voice was full of grief above him, and Yuuki tried to open his eyes, but it was too much effort.

"I'm sorry, Natsuno," Tohru whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Then there were hands on him, cold and trembling, and something wet landed on his face.

"I'm so sorry," Tohru whispered again, and then Yuuki was lifted from the floor, carried carefully, and it felt like floating.

Tohru put him down on the futon, slowly, careful not too cause any more discomfort, and Yuuki sighed as his head rested on his pillow.

"Just do it already," he muttered, and this time he found the strength to lift his eyelids, if slightly.

Tohru's face was deathly pale, nothing surprising, and tears were falling down his face freely, adding moisture to Yuuki's sweaty t-shirt. Cold.

"It's the last time," Tohru whispered and leaned down, buried his face against Yuuki's neck, but instead of the sharp pain of his teeth there was something soft and cool. A kiss.

"I'm sorry," he whispered yet again, and Yuuki sighed, forced his hand to lift and put it on Tohru's head, buried his fingers in Tohru's hair.

"Enough already," he sighed out. "You're not... the only one who wanted this."

Tohru gave a quiet sob. "You're so cruel, Natsuno," he mumbled. "But it's the last time, so... I'm sorry."

His arms tightened around Yuuki, his body shaking, but after a moment in was gone. Tohru lifted his head, but only enough to press his lips against Yuuki's, kissing, lifeless cold contrasting with the tender movements.

"I'm so sorry," Tohru muttered against Yuuki's lips, and then there was a hand at the waist of his boxer shorts, trembling, pulling the garment down.

"I'm s--"

"Stop apologizing already." Yuuki tightened his fingers still in Tohru's hair, pulled, and Tohru followed obediently, kissing Yuuki again, salty and soft.

Tohru's hand pulled Yuuki's shorts down, just out of the way, to wrap around his cock, stroking, slow and soft.

"I wonder if it'll work," he mumbled against Yuuki's lips with a small, bitter laugh.

Yuuki forced out a snort. "You never know," he said, and it was teasing, something he hadn't been sure he had the energy to pull off.

Tohru gave his a small smile, half pained and half amused, and his hand was still moving, massaging Yuuki's sack now, and he was starting to really feel it, his body tensing as he got more interested.

Then Tohru was kissing him again, his lips, and then raining small, cold kisses across his face -- nose, and cheeks, and eyelids -- before he shifted to Yuuki's neck -- licks and small, careful bites.

Yuuki panted, cold sweat all over his body, but it wasn't from exhaustion now. He let his hand fall, finally releasing Tohru's hair, and a soft whimper broke out of him, a pained sound that had nothing to do with pain.

"I'm sorry," Tohru whispered against his neck, and just as Yuuki felt his body tightening, ready for release, there was the sharp pain of Tohru's teeth tearing his skin. He spazmed, conflicting sensations coursing through his body -- the sharp, white pull of his release mixed with the cold feeling of the life being sucked out of his body. And then the world went black, and there was just one phrase chasing him into unconsciousness.

'I'm sorry.'