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An Important Distinction

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“Yes, Harry?” Walter said, absent-mindedly running his hands through the bubbles in his bath.

“What did you mean, earlier today? When you said that my whipping you with a towel is ‘not sexual’?”

Walter’s brow creased. “Well, of course it’s not sexual.”

“But you’re half-staff when we’re done, sir.”

“Of course I am. That’s how you know it’s good for circulation.”

“Sir, I don’t believe circulatory health and semi-erections are always correlated.”

“What are you going on about, Harry?”

“Sir! I thought we had something special!”

Walter sat up and peered at Harry. “Of course we have something special. You’re my dearest friend. My confidant.”

Harry sighed and sat down on the side of the bathtub. “I thought it was more than that, sir.”

“…Oh.” Walter seemed a bit lost.

Harry continued, “I mean, you know with my issue, I don’t really have the option of a conventional relationship. But I thought we had, you know…. I mean, Major, I tuck you in and read to you, I get you half-erect before your show, I help you document all your liaisons in lurid detail. I thought I was a service top in a polyamorous kinky relationship. It turns out I’m just your butler.”

“Oh, Harry. I’m so very sorry. I never meant to mislead you.” Walter put a sudsy hand on Harry’s knee.

“It’s all right, I suppose. Though I suppose I’ll have to quit the Dominants of Celebrities support group now. Pity.”

“Dominant support group?”

“For us employees of famous people who offer special services.”

“Other celebrities like to be read to and tucked in and whipped with a towel?”

“Mostly it’s spankings and beatings, sir. I’m sure some of them like to be tucked in after, though.”

“Well, Harry, I’d hate for you to have to quit an organization you enjoy. I would be happy to be discreet about the non-sexual nature of our relationship.”

“Well, thank you, sir, that’s very kind.”

“Of course, Harry. As long as they don’t have any high-stakes gambling at this club.”

“Less than 40% of the time, sir, I assure you.”