Everyone gasped as this unfamiliar face entered the room. Jaws dropped as they had a glance of her for the first time. The course dean called their attention and introduced the new face to everyone in the department of Sciences faculty room.
“Everyone, this is professor Mayim Bialik, the newest addition to our cluster.” She called their attention.
Everyone greeted her warmly whilst she looked at them with a smile.
“She’s a scholar BS alumni of Cambridge, sponsored MA alumni of Harvard, finished MA at the age of 22 and just earned her PhD in Neuroscience at Harvard this year. (at the age of 26)” She continued.
“Wow!” They all exclaimed. “That’s insane!” Kaley was bewildered. “In born genius.” Their dean replied. “No…” Mayim blushed in flattery.
“She’ll be teaching Neuroscience, Biology, Chemistry and Psychology classes.” Their dean informed them before she ended the introduction and left her on her designated desk.
Kaley was occupying the desk beside hers, she immediately talked to her.
“Are you a lesbian?” She asked making Mayim wonder why she asked that first. She chuckled. “No. Why? Do I look lesbian to you?” Mayim replied. “No. Because I think I’m going lesbian for you.” Kaley cracked the joke and made her laugh. “Kidding! I’m Kaley.” She introduced herself. “Hello.” She replied. “You’re really gorgeous. Wow.” Kaley expressed her admiration making her blush.
The other faculty members were just peeking and glancing at her – finding it hard not to admire her knowing how beautiful and smart she was.
During her stay at the university, it was inevitable for several faculty members, not just from their department but also from the other departments, to admire and woo over her. Even the students were fascinated by her to the point that some even asks her out even if it’s unlikely for her to accept their invites. Nobody has caught her attention. The fascination towards her went since she started teaching at the university.
During her first month of teaching, she was hired as a personal psychotherapist, every evening of weekdays, of an excelling student, Jim Parsons, who has a social anxiety. The university wanted to keep his social behavior sane for his extraordinary intelligence not to get wasted and for him to survive the competition in his future career.
“I want you to be confident and flawless when you address your graduation speech.” Mayim told him making him smile. “Don’t smile at me. Promise me you’re gonna be confident in front of all the people when you address your graduation speech.” She demanded. “Yes. I will!” He chuckled.
Through time, Jim slowly developed courage to overcome his fear of social phenomena especially for public speeches and graduation.
Knowing he is two years younger than her (24) and he already has a double degree in Chemistry and Chemical engineering and is about to finish his master’s degree, Mayim admired his extraordinary intelligence – she saw so much potential in him, she saw himself in him.
Dr. Bowie, one of the professors in the department of Philosophy and Languages, who has been consistently wooing Mayim, even if he has been rejected already, went to her and handed her some flowers which she refused to accept.
“Seriously, Mayim? I’ve been trying for almost two years. What do you want me to do for you to give me a chance?” He asked.
“I already told you I’m not into dating.” She chuckled.
“You’re not into dating but you are open for dating?” He assured, she raised her eyebrows and smiled at him.
“Then let’s go out. Just try it. Who knows you’ll enjoy?” He persuaded her but she just chuckled. “Mayim, you’re so beautiful, you’ll be a huge waste if you won’t ever date anyone.” He added.
“I could already imagine how beautiful our children will be.” He continued being all dreamy making her find his intense admiration for her funny.
“It wouldn’t be nice for the students to see their professors dating, you know.” She tried to make a point. “I’d quite teaching just for you to give me a chance.” He replied. She found him hilariously desperate and it turned her off.
“No… I don’t really like dating.” She replied. “Come on. What don’t I have that you like? I am financially stable? I’m employed? Not being too cocky, but I am not ugly. Good looking? Tell me.” He asked. She suppressed her smile.
“You know, John? I don’t need this.” She distantly pointed at his groin. “I need this.” She pointed at his head and smirked at him before she walked away.
“Damn you’re so hot.” He uttered as he watched her walk away. “She rejected me too. I gave up.” Dr. Nayyar, her co-faculty whispered to Dr. Bowie. “She’s a hard girl. You need to sacrifice your soul to get her attention.” He joked.
Mayim has always been kind of sapiosexual, intellect and wise thinking attracts her more than good looks and knowing how smart and gifted she was, academically, her standards for smart people are kind of high than usual.
It was a typical psychotherapy session for Mayim and Jim at his flat. She was set to check if he is ready for his graduation public speech but before she was able to start her routine, he handed her something about his academics.
“What’s this?” She asked as he handed her a piece of folded paper. He just smiled at her. She opened the letter, clueless of what’s inside, and read it.
Her jaw dropped in astonishment. “You’re a magna cum laude?” She asked as her eyes were filled with bewilderment. He nodded. “You inspired me to believe in myself, strive hard and it worked.” He pointed out and smiled at her.
“Wow…” She uttered. She felt so proud of him. “It was all yours. You did great. You’re amazing! I’m so proud of you!” She squealed and found it hard to resist not to hug him. She was like a proud mom of a kid.
As the hyped emotions brought by the news faded out, Mayim went back to her agenda in checking if he was ready for his graduation speech. They exercised his public speaking confidence and she tried to counsel him for a couple of hours to boost his confidence.
Soon then, their session was over. She prepared herself and started packing her things up.
“Miss Mayim.” He called her attention before she was able to stand up and leave.
“Yes?” She replied.
“I know our session is over but can I ask something?” He asked carefully. She felt unusual and put down her bag on the couch. “Sure. What is it?” She replied.
“You once discussed to me the concept of… love? And it has been vague to me up to now.” He began, she carefully listened to him. “What makes it vague for you?” She asked. He paused for a moment as his eyes explored the room with a hint of confusion. “How do I know if I feel it? How do I know if I am in love with someone?” He asked. She took a deep breath, she felt as if she was a mother who’s being asked by her kid about love. She tried to think of the best explanation for his query.
“It’s really hard to explain it because we all have different ways of feeling and coping with the feeling of love.” She said hesitantly as she felt it wasn’t a good answer.
He looked at her as she spoke. “I don’t know if it’s love when you just wanna be with a specific person and get butterflies when she looks back at you. Or… when you feel so safe and comfortable with that person compared to anyone else… when you can just look at that person forever and it’s like no time is being wasted because it feels like the time is not even moving? I don’t know…” He shared sounding so dreamy and so invested. A smile grew on her lips as she realized that he could possibly be in love with someone right now and it’s a big part in his social maturity. “I guess that’s it…” She uttered as she looked at him with her eyes filled with happiness for him. “… like when you look at her lips and you just wanna kiss it. Wrap her around my arms…” He continued as he felt like floating as he shared his emotions to her. Mayim positioned herself and held his hands.
“Jim. I’m quite sure what you’re feeling is what you think it is. Love can be scary and full of risks, risks of getting hurt, getting rejected but I want you to realize that it’s fine. Getting rejected doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough for someone…” She tried to empower him to pursue his newly discovered social emotions.
“I am not going to force you to take the risk of confessing and going after that person that makes you feel all that but I suggest you to try to take the risk and be brave enough to confess to her and accept whether she’s going to accept you or reject you. It would be a huge help for your social maturity.” She explained further as he was just looking at her.
He took a deep breath and swallowed his saliva hardly. “Okay…” He uttered and looked at her hands subtly holding his. She smiled at him. He looked back into her eyes and found it hard not to appreciate her smile.
“Miss Mayim…” He uttered carefully. “Yes?” She replied happily as she felt so proud of his development.
“I love you.” He uttered with so much sincerity and courage.
Her grip in his hand loosened as her smile faded out and was replaced by a sudden flummox. “What… do you mean?” She was baffled.
He wondered why was her response went that way when he thought she has a complete idea that she was the girl he was referring to.
“You make me feel all those things and now I know why… it’s because I love you.” He cleared up for her.
She wasn’t expecting him to say that, it never crossed her mind that she was the one he was referring to, she wasn’t ready for it yet, she didn’t want to respond in a manner that she knows will break him. She was unaware of how responses would take effect on him and it pressured her that she only has an ample time to think of how to respond to him. He was sincerely smiling at her. She exhaled sharply as she slowly looked away from him. She felt so flabbergasted.
Suddenly Kaley rang her phone. She immediately took the call to escape from the hot seat. Jim’s smile faded as she stood up to take the call.
As soon as the call ended she looked at him in guilt. “I have to go. I’m sorry.” She informed him and immediately left as she knew she can’t handle to see the sadness in his face.
His heart felt broken as his anxiety triggered him to think that her leaving was a sign of rejection after he confessed to her. Despite that she just counselled him about that aspect, he couldn’t keep himself from thinking that he wasn’t enough for her, he felt down and rejected. He remained seated to where he was sitting and tried to convince himself to be fine.
It was Friday night and the more he felt down to think that he won’t be able to see her for the next two days since they have no sessions every weekend and it feared him that two days of not having the chance to talk to her and make it up to her would make the awkwardness between them worse. He felt hopeless.
Monday morning came. Jim went to the university hopeful to see Mayim around and he did yet, she seemed to pretend she didn’t see him and discreetly avoided him.
He went inside the science department faculty to pass his final papers. It was inevitable not for him to bump into Mayim. He smiled at her as their sights met while he was submitting his papers to Professor Cuoco. Mayim looked away and pretended he missed seeing him smile at her and she moved her sight into the papers she was checking on her desk. Jim no longer tried to force her to notice him, he just looked down and went out after Kaley accepted his papers. “Thank you, Dr. Cuoco.” He thanked her and had a last glance on Mayim before he left.
Mayim stopped pretending she was doing something as soon as he left. “What was that about?” Kaley asked. She just looked at her and didn’t reply anything than “Nothing.”
Kaley had a hint but she felt Mayim’s aversion to share something about it so she remained silent and respected her privacy.
Later that day, Jim noticed that it was almost 6PM already and Mayim isn’t in his flat yet when their sessions always start at 5. He began to think that she won’t be seeing him anymore after his confession and he had his part of him understanding her. He placed back his things on his cabinets and just took a book and read it on his bed as he set his mind that she would no longer come.
Few moments later, someone knocked and entered his flat. She went straight to his room. “I’m sorry, I’m late.” Mayim apologized and appeared on his room’s doorsteps.
“Miss Mayim!” He said with a tone of joy of seeing her. “I’m sorry. It was raining hard.” She explained. They walked to the couch like what they usually do during their sessions. He felt relieved to see her again after what happened the last week yet then, he felt that she didn’t wanna bring up anything about the confession that occurred between them, she acted so professional, it wasn’t like before anymore. He could feel the coldness and changes in her and it saddened him.
The next days of their session went the same, she was still cold and professional to him. He could no longer feel the sense of comfort in her, all he could feel was she’s now trying to be inconspicuously distant from him emotionally and everything that they do now is pure business.
Before their Friday night session, their last psychotherapy session, ended, Jim informed Mayim about his MA’s graduation date.
“The schedule for graduation went out, I’ll be graduating on October 23.” He happily informed her, excited to see her proud expression towards him again. She was so proud of him yet, she decided to suppress it to herself.
“Well, that’s good to hear. You’ll be Jim Parsons M.A soon.” She replied. “Yeah.” He just smiled at her and waited for her to tell more things to him but she didn’t.
“I should go.” She informed him to cut the silence that swarmed them. “Wait.” He stopped her. “Are you free on that date? October 23?” He asked and gave her a hopeful smile.
She kept her hand on the door knob and haltered for a moment. “Can you come to my graduation so you can watch me say my graduation speech?” He wished. Declining was the least thing she wanted to do but she also was afraid that accepting his wish would make him expect things.
“I’m not sure.” She uttered and looked away. The hopeful smile on Jim’s face vanished as his heart was slowly crushed down. “I have a hectic schedule but I’ll try. I can’t promise.” She continued. His anxiety triggered on his thoughts again. He felt hopeless, he concluded in his mind that she won’t come and she doesn’t want to come at all.
“Oh…” He uttered suppressing his sadness with a phony smile. “Okay… I hope you can make it. I’d be happy if you’re there.” He continued secretly persuading her. She took a silent breath. “I should get going. Good luck. Goodbye Jim.” She bid a goodbye for their last psychotherapy session.
He smiled at her as she left but it all faded away as the door shut in front of him knowing that the only woman he loved doesn’t feel the same way and now that it’s the last session of their therapy, he would no longer see her on a frequent basis. It is also unlikely for her to be present on his graduation day when it has been ages since he dreamt about her smiling and proudly watching him during his graduation speech. It tore him apart as it all went to him.
After that day, they no longer talked and communicated.
Jim’s graduation day came. Everything was prepped. The ceremony started, intermissions was presented and the speakers spoke. Every after stage presentation, he looked around the venue hoping to see Mayim but he thought he was expecting too much.
“Jim, you’re next.” The organizer informed him. He was now sure that Mayim won’t come anymore but he recalled his promise to her that he will confidently address his graduation speech even if it hurts that she isn’t there to watch him.
The speech of their guest speaker ended, the emcee thanked him and began introducing Jim to the audience mentioning his achievements and recognizing him as their batch’s magna cum laude.
“Let’s give a round of applause for class of 2015’s only magna cum laude, Jim Parsons.”
The crowd clapped for him and his anxiety started to nerve him again. His legs felt stiff as he stood on the platform and looked at the crowd. He felt a bit sweaty and tensed for a moment. He gulped and tried to focus on being calm. His throat felt dry and rough no matter how hard he swallowed his saliva and he found it hard to start speaking. The long silence started to feel a bit disturbing for the crowd, they wondered why won’t he start.
The more his breaths turned heavy, he felt nervous to see the crowd whispering on each other as his eyes wandered across the venue.
He started to speak slowly as he struggles to overcome his anxiety. He kept his eye on his speech paper for a moment and moved his sight to the crowd as what Mayim taught him. He continued delivering his speech still with the hint of nervousness but it gets lesser and lesser. Before he was about to finish, he had few looks on the audience and he unexpectedly had a glimpse of the person he wanted to see the most in the crowd, Mayim was there watching him.
His world stopped as he saw her smiling while watching him deliver his speech. She was there and he couldn’t explain how happy he was to see her there.
Smile grew on his lips upon seeing her and it motivated him to continue speaking, his anxiety suddenly vanished as if it never existed until he finished his speech.
He closed the folder of his speech paper. “Ladies and gentlemen. That would be my graduation speech but then at this point of time, I felt like it wasn’t complete. I knew I had to add something…” He added making the crowd engaged and interested for the sudden changes.
“… best output always comes when one is inspired to achieve excellence. Some of us aspire for excellence because we are inspired by our own desire to excel, I do. Some of us are inspired by the recognition that boosts our self worth and satisfaction, I also do…” He began adding his adlib part of speech.
“But you know what? There is this one thing that I never thought would come and inspire me to do so much more than what I could and wanted to become before and I am so thankful that I met her.” He paused as the crowd felt thrilled with where his speech was going.
“I’m so glad I met her.” He repeated and looked at Mayim in the audience for a couple of seconds. He couldn’t resist the urge to come to her and hug her so he decided to end his speech already.
“Thank you very much. May I be an inspiration to every aspiring students out there, may you keep learning, keep believing, and keep evolving. Congratulations to the graduates of 2015! Thank you and a wonderful morning to all.” He ended and was applauded by the audience.
As he went down the stage, he immediately walked towards Mayim on the audience and gave her a tight hug.
“You came!” He uttered in happiness. She reciprocated his hug as she couldn’t suppress how proud and happy she was for him. “You were so amazing! I’m so proud of you!” She mentioned at his back while hugging him back.
As they broke off from the hug, they gazed at each other with extreme happiness on their faces. He was so exhilarated to have her in his very special day, she was so happy and proud of him.
He felt so intoxicated that she was there and she doesn’t seem to ignore and avoid him anymore.
“I love you.” It slipped from his mouth making him a bit stunned as he realized what he just said.
“I’m sorry…” He apologized right away fearing to ruin the happy moment they were sharing.
She smiled at him nearly teary in happiness before she placed a kiss on his lips that largely astonished him.
His jaw loosened as he saw her smiling face with no trace of regrets after they broke from the kiss. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling all he knows is that he is so happy.
“I love you too.” She finally uttered.
“This is the best graduation gift I’ve ever received.” He replied. “Maybe after I get my PhD, I could get a yes as a gift when I ask you to marry me?” He sounded so dreamy.
“We’ll see. Too early to plan for that. What matters now is I love you.” She replied and triggered him to kiss her.