Work Header


Work Text:

It had been too tempting. Isabelle, who was 12, had seen Alec stuffing a small, battered notebook into a small gap behind his mirror. She knew what it was. Her 14 year old brother's diary. And thus, when he happened to be out, apparently on a run, she went into the ensuite in Alec's bedroom. As she'd seen him do, Isabelle heaved the mirror forwards like a door. She quietly cursed. Alec had obviously chosen a heavy mirror on purpose. There was the small gap where a tile would be, and inside was the brown leather notebook.

Isabelle was sure she had blanched. Immediately, she regretted having read the diary and stuffed it back into it's hiding spot. She pitied Alec, although she knew that would frustrate him. He didn't appreciate pity. The next feeling she had was a mixture of relief and understanding. His protectiveness of Jace, him so clearly hating himself, him always trying to hide. She finally knew why. Alec was gay. And he loved his parabatai. The third feeling was slight confusion. She didn't see why he couldn't have just told her. Sure, the Clave would be harsh, but Isabelle could never hate Alec like the way he had described she would. No matter what. There was nothing wrong with love; despite who you love, your feelings are human and the same as anyone else's. With all the stubborness of children her age, she sat patiently in the library, waiting for Alec to return.

Jace found her first. When he came into the library without realising Isabelle was there, she stared at him. He was good-looking, she supposed, the kind of person who was everyone's type. However, she'd never given romantic attractions to him a thought. They were family, even if he was adopted. Alec, she knew, didn't think the same way about Jace. He had a destructive hope that could only cause him more pain. "Stop staring at me." The 13 year old said without looking at his sister. "I wasn't!" Isabelle protested, jumping to her feet. "No need to deny it, I know I'm beautiful." Jace stated with a smug smirk plastered to his face. Whilst Isabelle found it irritating, Alec had found his self-confidence beautiful. Alec found everything about Jace beautiful. She couldn't help but hate Jace just a little bit for that in that moment. He was the reason Alec was so sad, he had caused Alec's overwhelming emotions. But she knew that wasn't fair. Isabelle doubted that Jace had the slightest idea about Alec, and she wasn't going to be the one to tell him. "Compared to a Behemoth, maybe. Though even that is doubtful." Isabelle said finally. "You love me!" Jace declared. Yes, and so does Alec. Just not the same way.

Eventually, Alec returned home from his run. Though, by his lack of sweat and colour, Isabelle doubted that was what he had been doing. She suspected he had been moping about somewhere, contemplating his emotions on some damp wall. It did sound like an Alec thing to do; he was always so sullen and distant now. And of course, Isabelle knew why now. She stalked him as he went upstairs and into the training room. Silently thanking the first Marks that had been burnt onto her skin,  she watched silently as Alec shot his arrows easily. Each one was a bullseye. She admired the way he was so at ease with his particular weapon, and hoped one day she'd have a weapon that was like that to her. "Alec." She said at last. Startled, he spun around. His bow hung limply in his arms as he stared at her. "It's late. Go to bed, Izzy." Was all Alec said. It was obvious that he cared more for his siblings than himself. "You should go to bed too, soon." "No." "Yes." "Izzy...what do you want?" "To talk." Alec scowled, and Isabelle suppressed laughter. Alec was always scowling. It was pretty much his natural face. "About what?" He sighed and she pursed her lips. "About your diary. And what's in it." "You read my diary." He hissed, raising his bow, an arrow already knocked. She hadn't even seen him move. It would've been better if he shouted. It would seem less threatening, and it would show that Alec had more than one emotion. "Sorry. But, Alec, you should've said something to me." "Said what?! That I'm not natural, that I'll get my Marks stripped?" "No! How you feel is fine-" "It's illegal!" "Loving Ja-your parabatai might be, but he's not the only guy in the world." "Can you not be so loud?" Waves of sympathy drowned Isabelle as she saw her elder brother nervously look from side to side, as if someone was going to leap out from the shadows and arrest him. He was only 14. He didn't deserve to be that frightened of his own feelings. "Sorry, Alec. I love you, you know. And Jace loves you too. Maybe not the way you want him too, but he does care about you." "I can't believe you read my diary." He choked, and Isabelle hurried over to him. "I can't believe you hid this all from me, as if I could stop loving you." And she hugged him, letting him sob into her shoulder. It probably looked odd, since Alec was very tall and older tha n her. Yet, she got the feeling neither of them cared.