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What if

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“What if I died?” Tyler asked, taking a sip of his coffee, sitting down on the floor of his balcony and looking out over the trees, the fog that laid over top of them. It had an eerie feel that reminded him of death, but even so, it didn’t scare him.

 

Josh froze up for a moment, knowing that Tyler had considered suicide at multiple times in his life, the thought of that still scared Josh.

 

“Well, I’d be sad,” he said, leaning against the railing and looking over at Tyler, smiling at the way the moonlight accentuated his features, the light shining off his skin and making him seem so beautiful, not that he wasn’t anyway.

 

“But what if, Josh, what if I was just gone, what if you were alone in this apartment?” The smile fell from Josh’s face as he stopped and thought, his heart sinking at the very thought of being on this earth without Tyler.

 

“I’d hope that you’d come back,” he stated finally and Tyler snorted.

 

“Josh, I’d be dead, how can I return?” He asked seriously, setting the mug of coffee down in between them, the clink of ceramic on cement permeated the dark silence that had settled between them. Josh shook his head and sat up straight, following Tyler’s gaze out to the trees.

 

“I’d hope that you would come back as a shadow or as a dream,” Josh said, looking back into the open door that led to the apartment, trying to visualize the way the shadows sometimes move, wondering if one day that could be Tyler.

 

“Well, if I die you can always look behind you in the sunlight and find me behind you, watching your back always,” Tyler said and he felt stupid and cheesy but Josh gave a small smile and suddenly it was all worth it.


“My savior,”