He had feared this outcome since the morning he woke up to find her gone, only her Mabari left in their campsite to reassure him she left of her own accord. He had searched frantically for her in the surrounding area, becoming a terror in and of himself. After finding nothing and no one who saw her, he trekked back to Kirkwall, hoping desperately that she was there.
When he arrived her estate, only emptiness and Orsana were there to greet him. Cold dread that had been hanging over him the entire trip, only having been held at bay by the thin hope that maybe just maybe she had returned to her home.
"You're the only one I have left, Fenris," She grinned, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Kirkwall is a refuge, not a home. Not unless you're with me." Bumblebee barked happily, seemingly agreeing with his owner.
"What about you? Miss your 'borrowed' mansion? The Agreggio Pavali stains?" She leaned back, resting against her Mabari as she waited for an answer. Fenris knew his answer, though he was loathe to confront it. He didn't know what would become of him after he lowered the last of his walls to her.
"No. Not at all," A crooked smile spread over his face, and he saw her cheeks flush a bit in response, "You're my home, Rose." Her bright eyes flicked away in embarrassment, and a laugh escaped her.
"I'm a horrible one then. No roof, no furniture, and I'm constantly moving." Ah, falling back on humor. Fenris chuckled, reaching and gently pulling her against his chest. Tucking her head under his chin, he heard her sigh happily as she relaxed.
"I just need you, ma aureum." He felt the little shift she made as she perked at his use of Tevene.
"What's that mean?" Curiosity was strong in her voice, and he was sure that if he were to see her, she'd be making the puppy eyes again.
"And ruin the secrecy?" He grinned, playfulness rising as she whined quietly.
Blinking out of his thoughts at the feeling of eyes on him, his gaze turned to glare at whoever was staring at him, only to rest on Orsana. She jumped at his dark expression, stumbling with her words as she tried to apologize for something that wasn't her fault.
"I-I'm sorry Messere, I just thought that you'd like to r-read the letter that arrived for you..." Startled out of his vicious mood, he felt the hope crash back, lifting a weight on his shoulders as he nodded silently. As the servant ran off to get the parchment, he stood like a statue in the hall.
Bumblebee whined from where he was sitting next the warrior, ears flicked back and his intelligent eyes worried as he gazed up. Fenris grimaced, reaching out to pat his head in reassurance. The movement brought the red sash that he had taken so long ago when he left her after their first night together, memories flooded back to him, making his throat tighten.
"You better be fine..." He mumbled to himself, the weight of dread resettling on him as Orsana quietly returned to the room, offering out a letter before scuttling out of his sight. The moment the parchment was in his grasp, it had his complete attention.
Fenris, the hand writing wasn't hers. It was close, holding the elegance hers did, but it wan't nearly as looping. It was tighter, just touch more business-like. His heart squeezed as he sat heavily on one of benches, staring numbly at the letter.
He didn't want to open it. He just sensed that what he would read would break him, and this time there would be no fixing him. Taking a deep breath that hurt too much to be beneficial or calming, he clenched his jaw as he broke the seal, swiftly opening it.
I regret to inform you
Maker's breath, I need to apologize. I don't know if Rose told you where she was going, but I had
asked for her help with a matter
No, you deserve the full truth. You were closer to her than the rest of us, so you deserve to know why you should be pissed at me.
I asked Rose to help the Inquisition, since she had dealt with Corypheus before. She agreed and showed up at Skyhold. To tell you the truth, when she arrived alone, I was shocked. I thought you two were inseperatable. Snow- the Inquisitor - asked her why she was alone, and she gave this sad smile while she said "He would die to protect me. I didn't want to give him the chance."
She never did get over losing Junior and her mother, did she?
Right, the reason I'm sending this.
We had to go save the Wardens from Corypheus's corruption because of course we have to. Snow and Giggles
attract attracted that kind of crazy. We got pulled into the Fade when Snow opened a Rift to save us from falling to our deaths. I almost wish she hadn't. That's unfair of me. I'm just-having trouble processing what happened.
Long story short; Rose sacrificed herself to distract a Nightmare demon long enough for Snow and Stroud to escape. She always did have to press her luck.
If you want to punch me, I'm at Skyhold.
His heart stopped, or at least felt like it. Part of him was in denial, he never said she was dead...
Rereading the letter, he felt his heart shatter, leaving him numb.
I'm at Skyhold.
He needed answers. Why had he sent for her? Why did he put her in danger?!
As he sat there, cold rage boiling inside him, he decided on his course of action. Rage was good. Rage meant he wasn't truly broken yet.
He'd get the answers he needed from the Dwarf, then see if he could follow his heart into the Void.