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Orange Juice and Art Theft

Chapter Text

“Up and at 'em, Darcy! We've got a busy day!”

The blonde man could hear the familiar feminine voice, and he could feel her hands on his shoulders, shaking him, but he could not bring himself to open his eyes. He hoped that she would get the message and leave him be, but Corina Raine was not a woman to be deterred by an unresponsive Avery Darcy.

“Looks like he's still asleep! Well, well, how should I go about waking him up? A bucket of water? Nah, that's overdone...ooh! I could just kick him around until he gets up or pistol whip him or...”

“Jesus, I'm up,” he groaned, finally opening his eyes and turning to face the petite brunette in his bed. Sleeping was one of the rare occasions that he didn't wear his mask, and his electric blue eyes were especially striking without it. She grinned at him, and he couldn't resist smiling back.

“I don't know why you're the one who has such a hard time getting up in the morning,” she said, running a hand through his hair, which stuck up a few places. “They're your plans, and last time I checked, we should both be equally tired. Yet you're the one who can't get out of bed while I'm the one with all the energy!”

“I'm sure it's just you sucking it out of me,” he replied with his signature smirk that had earned him quite a bit of popularity with the ladies, present company included.

“Oh, please,” she huffed, sitting up. “I was just an innocent little girl until you came along and corrupted me!”

“An innocent little girl with scrapbooks full of mugshots and crime bulletins.”

“I'm going to kill you one of these days,” she said with a giggle.

“Only if that brother of yours doesn't get me first!”


After a shower, the two set out to get dressed for the day. Corina went for her usual pink and black ensemble, topped off as always by curling her normally stick-straight brown hair, a pair of goggles on her head, and a red lipstick that clashed horribly with all the pink she wore. Meanwhile, Darcy put on his usual outfit of a pair of black pants, a white button down and black tie, a powder blue suit jacket, and his black eye mask.

He admired himself, saying, “I look great today.”

“You look great every day,” his lover replied, rolling her eyes. “And you feel the need to point it out every day too.”

“I'm just being honest,” he said with a shrug. “Would it be better if I said we both looked good every day?”

“You are such an asshole that it isn't even funny,” she replied, but laughed anyway as she sauntered off to their kitchen. “What do you for breakfast? We don't have much, but I'll see what I can do.”

“Nah, I'm not that hungry,” he said. “Do we have any orange juice left?”

“You almost bashed my head in the last time I finished it off without asking first. I don't even touch the stuff anymore!”

“You almost bashed my head in a couple nights ago for...what was it again? I believe what you said was, 'Just to see if it'll actually work!'”

I was kidding!” Corina said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Never gonna let me live that one down, are you? Sheesh, here's your damn orange juice.” She handed him the glass she had poured. He not only took it, but the carton as well.

“Just for that, I'm not gonna share with you at all,” he said, shrugging. “I'll finish it off by myself!”

“See if I care,” she taunted, sitting across from him. “I didn't want to smudge my lipstick anyway.” She laughed as she watched him down his glass and then drain the rest of the carton. Neither of them really stopped to think of any future consequences for this action, focused only on their little game of messing with one another.


“So what was the plan for today?”

“You've already forgotten?”

I didn't forget, I just get them mixed up sometimes,” she said. “So? Is today the jewelry store mix up or the zoo thing?”

“Corina, both of those were your ideas, and I already told you that they don't even make sense! We don't stand to gain from either, and I don't even think the zoo one is possible.”

“Come on, they'd be so great! Imagine this! You're a jeweler, and you're super nervous cos your store's been robbed, but when you go in, it looks like nothing's gone! Upon closer inspection, however, it's not your stock! It's all from some other store! And the zoo one is totally possible if all the animals are sedated while I put the masks on them.”

He sighed before saying. “Anyway, today's agenda includes a petty robbery to distract your brother and the others- which, we will of course, frame Andromeda for to throw him off a little more- while we hit the art exhibit that's touring downtown. We take whatever paintings your little heart desires, cause a little ruckus, and get out, just like that.”

“Will there be a car chase?”

“If you're lucky. Now, come on. We're almost to the bank. I need you to do exactly as I tell you so that they think Andromeda did it, alright?”


After the couple had finished up their distraction, they were heading downtown as quickly as possible, not wanting to be linked to the previous crime. If all went according to Darcy's plan, Officer Raine would be too caught up with trying to track down an innocent Andromeda that they would have little resistance with his real plan for the day.

It was as they were driving that he felt a small twinge in his lower abdomen and realized that, after downing all the orange juice to prove a point to Corina, he had hurried her out to the car to begin the day, not stopping at the bathroom as he did so. It stood to reason, therefore, that he would have to pee eventually, but he hadn't considered that possibility until just now. It wasn't as if it was that bad, though, and time was precious; he could forget about it for now.

And so he said nothing to Corina about his small problem, and they continued on their way. It wouldn't be long before they could head back home and he was sure that the need wouldn't even be close to desperation at that point. Everything was going to be fine, he was sure, because his plan had been perfect.

But he always forgot how Corina sometimes took matters into her own hands, and he didn't yet realize that she had not done exactly as she had been told.

Chapter Text

Upon arriving downtown, Darcy and Corina parked the car somewhere easily accessible for their getaway, yet secluded enough that no one could see it to recognize it. They then got out and linked arms, sauntering into the building that was hosting the touring exhibit, both pulling out a gun as they did so.

The reactions were instantaneous. Darcy had been around for quite some time, and there was not a soul in the city who did not feel a surge of fear (besides his fangirls, anyway) when they saw a blonde man in a mask. Corina had been quick to make a name for herself as his lover, and since the two were rarely seen apart, it would not be hard to guess who the woman on his arm was.

“Hey, everyone!” she called out, waving with her gun hand. “Don't mind us! We're just here cos Darcy wants to treat me to some new goodies. We'll just be having a look around!”

The people around them stood frozen in fear, afraid even the slightest movement might cause one of them to start shooting. No one had the courage to do something to alert the police, so the couple could move about freely, picking over the paintings on display, Darcy taking whatever looked the most valuable and Corina taking whatever she liked the best.

He usually ended up picking up several things she had discarded, and would scold her for not paying attention to the value, but she never listened, preferring to do things her own way. It was as he was following along behind her, taking whatever she had missed to add to his pile, that he felt a harsh twinge from his bladder. He had managed to forget about his little problem for a bit, but now it was starting to get annoying.

“Have we looked at everything yet?” he asked his companion. “I think it's time to start loading up and heading out.”

“What? But we've hardly had any fun,” she whined. “Aren't we gonna mess with these guys at all?”

“I think just us being here will be enough for them,” he replied. “Finish up looking at the paintings, okay? And be quick about it.”

“Jeez, fine,” she mumbled. “I don't know what's got you in such a're starting to get boring...” She said more, but her mumbles became indistinguishable.

In truth, he would have liked to stay longer and watch her do whatever it was she would do to “mess with” the people there. He loved watching her work, even if half of what she did was nonsense that didn't really benefit them in the long run. She had talent and she had ideas, and that was what he had seen when he had met her. All she needed was a little guidance, but even when she did things he didn't see as necessary, she was still so adorably entertaining about it! But the fact of the matter was, he had to piss, and he didn't want to chance anything by staying here too much longer.

Corina, on the other hand, seemed to have other ideas. She walked around slowly, scrutinizing every little thing, and would pick something up, study it, put it back, study it some more, then take it again. Occasionally, she would put it back a second time and leave it, or even go through the whole process three times. She made it obvious that she was in no hurry, and his bladder began to ache as he watched her, tapping his foot.

She was up to something. Of that he was sure, though he wasn't sure what exactly she was up to. She most likely didn't know about his predicament, so she probably wasn't trying to prolong it, but there was something that she was waiting on and she would not let them leave until it happened. Darcy fidgeted, resisting the urge to beg her to hurry it up. She would probably only go slower if he did.

As he switched from tapping his foot to shifting his weight, he worried that this might get out of control. He really should have been more cautious when drinking all that orange juice, for it was all hitting him at once and it was hitting hard. He wondered if it would ruin his image too much if he just went into one of the public bathrooms while she was looking around.

It was just as he was becoming desperate enough to try that that he heard an all-too-familiar male voice call out, “Drop your weapons and freeze!”

“Really, we go through this every time,” he said casually, managing to mask the panic that overtook him as he realized what was happening. He turned to face Officer Kenneth Raine, and continued, “You and I both know I'm not going to do either of those things and if you really expect her-” He pointed at Corina with his thumb- “to still listen to you, then you really haven't been paying much attention lately.”

Kenneth sighed. “I know, I know, but it's a formality. I'm still in uniform, even with the mask on.” He had first donned a mask almost identical to Darcy's when Corina had run away, thinking that if he played along, he might be able to reach out to her and get her to come back home. However, this had only fueled her further.

“How'd you find us so quickly, anyway? Shouldn't you be out chasing down your little girlfriend?”

Well, the musical program you guys left was pretty convincing,” said Kenneth. “A former actress like Andromeda, who is not my girlfriend, would leave something like that as a marker, and she actually has a few times in the past. But she wouldn't kiss it wearing Corina's lipstick.”

“What?” He whirled around to face Corina, who had walked up behind him as all of this was going on. “Corina, why would you do that? My instructions were clear! We were supposed to frame Andromeda!”

“I know, I know, but, see, I didn't want to.”

You didn't want to? Why would you not want to make this easier on us?” He could almost kill her for this, but if he did that, then he would lose the number advantage over Kenneth and that would only make this last longer.

Because it's never any fun when Kenny doesn't show up! It's just in and out, in and out! So I figured if we couldn't do the zoo thing, I might as well get to have some fun today!” she argued. “By the way, you were super slow today, brother dear. You have no idea how long I had to stall Darcy!”

“Corina, please stop this,” her brother said. “I can help you. You can come back home, and it'll be just like it u-”

“I'm not in the mood for your sentimentalities today!” Darcy interrupted. “I'm also not in the mood for a fight today, not that she left me with much of a choice.”

“You don't even have to fight! You can just stand back and watch, if you want, since you're so boring today,” said Corina.

“I do not 'sit back and watch',” he said, grabbing her by the wrist and taking off running, yanking her along behind him. “And you don't get to fight him either!” He was getting out of there no matter what, even though it meant leaving the paintings behind. He'd rather lose that score than lose control of his bladder in such a public setting.

Kenneth didn't miss a beat, chasing after his sister and her lover. Darcy tried to think of some way to hinder him and throw him off their trail. He grabbed a random woman, still frozen in terror, as he passed her, and flung her off to the side, taking off in the opposite direction, but Kenneth didn't even stop to check on her.

“Wow, talk about being an asshole,” he taunted. The woman got up and ran, and the others began to follow suit, not wanting to be used for a hostage situation. He wanted to scream in frustration as he watched his options dwindle.

“Corina, do you have any magic tricks up your sleeve that might get us out of this one?”

She was no longer resisting his pull, but she shook her head. “I don't want to get out of this one yet! I told you!”

Corina.” He tried to sound level and reasonable- or at least as level and reasonable as he could while running and also resisting the urge to shoot her. “If you help me out of this, I will let you do the zoo thing and the jewelry store mixup, and anything else you want to do this week. Just do something!”

“Alright, alright! But you'd better not go back on that promise!” She slowed a bit to reach into her boot and pull out the white-tipped black magician wand that she brought along everywhere. “Do I have to do something complicated? Cos I haven't surveyed enough of the area and-”

“Then just conjure some explosive to throw around!” he snapped.

“Oh my god, would you please not be a total prick for once in your life?” But she did as told, saying some stupid incantation that he was sure she had made up. She then reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small, crude looking pipe bomb that he knew had not been there early. She tapped at the fuse with her wand and it lit as she threw it with as much force as she could manage.

This was not something Kenneth could ignore, and he had to turn back. This gave them the opening they needed and the two escaped around a corner into a long hallway. Darcy groaned as he realized he had no idea where in the building they even were. They had to either keep moving or hide before Kenneth caught up to them, but he didn't know which would be best.

As he stood there, contemplating, a sharp pain in his bladder nearly caused him to double over. He needed to reorient and figure out where they were, but he didn't have the time to keep standing around thinking. They would have to hide until Kenneth had passed, but that could take a long time.

Realizing he didn't have any other option, he sighed in frustration and lead Corina to a closet door, shoving her in before closing the door behind them. He could only hope that he could wait this one out.

Chapter Text

“Do you really think a closet is gonna keep him from finding us?” asked Corina after a few moments of silence. She didn't sound at all put out by the idea of them being found, though.

“I hope so,” replied Darcy. “I'm sure he expected us to go the most obvious way out, so if we just wait here, we should miss having to deal with him completely and be on our merry way.”

“Fine, fine,” she huffed. “Go ahead and be boring.” After a moment, he saw her smile mischievously and she placed a hand on his arm. “You know, there's still a chance for us to have some fun today. Wanna mess around a little?”

The thought of having Corina right now, mid-attempted-robbery was tempting, and would honestly be incredibly arousing to him any other day, but the sharp throbs in his bladder told him that he was in no position to get his freak on. He could hardly stand still in the cramped closet, and he hoped Corina did not notice this.

“I don't think this is a good time,” was all that he said.

“Why not?” she asked with a whine. “There's just something about this setting that seems perfect to me! And besides, if Kenny did happen to find us, he'd probably be so freaked out seeing his sister doing the do that he would just run off! It'd be hilarious and you know.”

He did know it, but he also knew that he could not handle any more pressure on his overfull bladder and he crossed his legs at the ankles. “I don't think so,” he said, shaking his head. “Just wait until we get home.” He hoped that he could do the same thing, where his desperation was concerned.

Suddenly, her hands were on his shoulders, and he was surprised enough by the attack that he did not fight back as she pushed him to a sitting position, straddling him. Her ass pressed directly against his bladder and he had to fight off tears that sprung up in his eyes. This was, without a doubt, the worst torture he had faced.

“Are you sure about that?” she asked in a low, seductive tone. “You know how I hate waiting...” She ground against him a bit, which only served to make the pressure even worse. He felt a small leak escape him, which he hoped was not enough to soak through his pants.

She showed no reaction, so he assumed that it did not, but it caused him to panic nonetheless, and he shoved her off of him roughly. “I said no, you stupid bitch!” he snarled, standing up quickly to relieve the pressure that sitting gave him.

She looked up at him, confused, before rolling her eyes. “What has gotten into you today?” she asked, standing up as well. “You're being more of an ass than you usually are. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong,” he mumbled, crossing his legs again. He bounced his knees once, but did not dare do it anymore, for it might make the situation obvious to her. Still, every part of him begged him to put his hands between his legs and squirm about like a kid rather than play it cool.

“Mhmm,” she said sarcastically. “Nothing's wrong at all. You're just in a snit for no reason. Okay.” She smiled innocently, but he could tell from one look at her eyes that she was not done with the subject.

She watched him intently from that point on, and he tried to remain totally still, despite the agony he was in. However, there were times when he could not resist fidgeting a bit and he would notice he smirk a bit. She was catching on, and it would not be long before she knew for sure exactly what was wrong with him.

He felt a sudden, strong throb that caused his to double over, a hand at his crotch as he leaked enough to soak through just the tiniest bit. It would not show on his black pants, but he could feel a slight dampness as he pulled his hand away, face burning. The look on Corina's face could only be described as malicious and thrilled.

“Oh, I see what's going on!” she said triumphantly.

“Yes, Corina,” he said, annoyed. “I have to piss, and rather badly. I have been trying to avoid drawing out this heist as much as possible all day, but you've made things difficult for me at every turn, so now I'm trapped in a closet, trying not to piss myself. Now you know. Happy?”

She threw her head back, cackling wildly, and he dearly hoped that Kenneth was not within earshot, as her laughter would be a dead give away. It took her quite some time to recover from her little giggle fit, and when she did, she had to wipe tears away from her eyes.

“Oh, that is just rich,” she said. “Mr. Arrogant himself, about to have a little accident! God, if your little fangirls knew about this one!”

He glared sharply at her, trying to mask his humiliation at her taunting. He wanted to say something cutting, to lash out and put her in her place, but all he could focus on now was holding it. If he wet himself now, and let Corina win, he would never forgive himself. He figured that since she already knew he was desperate, he did not have to care about what she saw him do, and he grabbed himself, squirming with no reservations and ignoring the little giggles he heard from her.

“He's got to be gone now,” he said through grit teeth, after an agonizing period of waiting. He had to get to a bathroom soon, or else he would be soaking his pants. “We should try to leave.”

“I dunno, I think we should wait here a bit longer!” she said teasingly. Really, he could smack her, but that would require moving his hands and that was not an option at the moment.

“Well, we're not going to,” was his only reply, and he pulled one hand away to open the closet door. He quickly put it back as he hobbled out, incredibly aware of how ridiculous he must look. He was at his breaking point, and each step felt like a stab to the lower stomach. “Come on, come on,” he said quietly to himself. A public bathroom was in sight, and he was just a few feet away from the relief he longed for.

He doubled over again, a strong wave of desperation hitting him, and he found that he could no longer walk. Each time he attempted to take another step, he would have to stop to avoid losing complete control. He had to get a hold of himself, he had to keep going, he couldn't just stand here or else he would...

But he did. Before he could regain his control, his bladder gave up the good fight and he felt a warm rush of piss against his hands as it flooded his pants. He pulled his hands back as it ran down a leg, splashing his shoes and hitting the floor with a loud hiss. He could just barely see his pants darken, and he sighed with relief. For just a moment, he enjoyed the feeling of not having to hold it anymore, and he ignored his humiliation at having wet himself.

But then he heard Corina break into hysterical, malicious laughter, and he remembered just how angry he was that he had ended up in a situation like this. He turned to look at her, face a bit red, and snapped, “This is all your fault, you know!”

“What?” she asked, barely able to stop laughing and catch her breath. “It is so totally not my fault. That's what you get for being so selfish about the orange juice. If you can't hold it, ya gotta deal with the consequences, love!”

Again, the thought of killing her entered his mind, but once enough time had passed for him to forgive her for this, he would miss her, so he didn't. “If you hadn't drug things out against my wishes like you did, this wouldn't have happened! And not only did you mess things up and cause me to piss myself, you also ruined the whole plan! We had to run away so quickly that we didn't get a single painting!”

She grinned and said, “Not so, dear, not so!” And with that, she pulled out her wand again and tapped it against his pocket, saying, “Abraca-Darcy!” She then produced a large canvas with a gaudy painting of a flamingo that he knew would not be worth much and that he didn't even recall seeing among the display. “At least we got away with this little gem!”

Really. He could kill her.