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Kakeru's Ahoge (and other stupidities)

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"Does Kakeru ever seem lifeless to you?" Makki asked the boys (minus Kakeru, of course) during one of their breaks.

Shun groaned as he tipped his head backwards over the chair. "Here we go."

Makki was affronted by Shun's reaction. "I'm serious!" he proclaimed, and then to all of them: "Do you ever look into his eyes and wonder, 'Where is his soul?'"

"Is that what you think, Makki?" Tommy questioned back.

Kira feigned surprise. "Makki...can think?"

"Shocker!" Shun stated sarcastically.

"Shut up, you idiots!" Makki snapped at the youngest two. He turned to Tommy. "It always seemed that way to me. Like, I see him smile and all, but is he really happy?"

Shun raised his head slightly, quirking an eyebrow too. "Did you give Kakeru a bad gift or something?"

"Had one of your dates gone wrong?" Kira's tone was devoid of concern, only bored curiosity.

"One more wisecrack from either of you," Makki threatened Kira and Shun, "and I'll staple your mouths shut!" To prove his point, Makki showed them a heavy-duty staple and clicked it once.

"Understood," the addressed two answered tonelessly.

"Though I do think Kakeru's kind of dull sometimes," Shun commented. "He's always unresponsive."

"He just wants to avoid confrontational situations," Kira reasoned. "He's not assertive, you know? Unlike some people..." He glanced at Makki.

"He just goes with the flow, right?" Tommy said with a grin, which became a dreamy expression as he said, "I heard Ran-san was like that too!"

"Still," Makki said in an insistent manner, "does it ever bother you that most of the time Kakeru seems to have the eyes of a dead fish?"

"A dead fish's eyes?" Tommy repeated, confused. "I don't think Kakeru has ever looked at anyone like that."

"I mean, like, in anime terms," Makki described, "Kakeru's eyes are letter 'U's with lines on top!"

Shun stifled a chuckle. "What kind of description is that?"

"They're like semi-ovals!" Makki amended his statement.

"That's an even worse description," Kira deadpanned.

A vein popped up on Makki's forehead. "That's it. I'm stapling your mouths!" He raised the said tool in the air before lunging for Shun and Kira.

Makki chased the two boys (and later Tommy too who got dragged in somehow) around the table with the stapler. Once they rounded the table thrice, Kakeru entered the room.

"What are guys doing?" he asked.

The boys stopped mid-run when they noticed Kakeru. Despite asking that question, Kakeru wasn't the least bit curious about the answer.

"Never mind," he said after a sigh, and just went to his locker to put his new song's lyrics into his bag. Then, he took his leave.

When Kakeru was out of sight, Makki faced the others, saying, "Dead. Fish's. Eyes!"

"What? That?" Shun said, referring to Kakeru's eyes. "Those don't look dead to me. If anything, they're like...bedroom eyes or something."

Tommy repeated Shun's words this time, "Bedroom eyes?"

"Like, you know, eyes filled with lust," Shun clarified, "which makes sense since Kakeru's a sexy guy."

"Eh? Shun likes Kakeru?" was Kira's conclusion upon hearing Shun's explanation.

"I never said that!" Shun snapped in reply, blushing hotly.

"Maybe Kakeru just has problems making faces?" Tommy suggested, shrugging.

"Has there ever been such a condition?" Kira asked.

"I saw it before on TV!" Makki exclaimed. "It's called the 'Stony Cat'!"

"Are you talking about the 'Stony Cat and the Hentai Prince' anime?" Shun questioned monotonously, as though he knew what answer he'll receive.

"Ah! That's right!" Makki confirmed. "That was its name!"

"Makki, that's just an anime," Kira said, using a tone that showed how fed up he was with Makki. "As we all know, there aren't any stone cat statues around Harajuku for Kakeru to pray his emotions away."

"Oh, I got it!" Tommy shouted, right out of the blue. "We can tell what Kakeru feels by looking at his hair!"

Obviously, the others were confused, so Shun asked, "How would that work?"

"Well," Tommy explained, "Kakeru has those two strands that always stand up on his head, doesn't he? His 'ahoge', you know?"

Makki was mildly surprised, but it wasn't because of Tommy's idea. "That's what you call them?" He referred to Kakeru's ahoge. "I call those strands of hair his 'antennas'."

After Makki, Shun shared his interpretation, "I think of them as horns, actually."

"They're bunny ears to me," Kira chimed in.

"Right!" Tommy said, clapping his hands to gather their attention back to the main topic. "And we all know that ahoges bend to its owner's feelings!"

"That only happens in anime," Kira and Shun told him simultaneously.

"Not to mention," Kira added, "Kakeru's pretty emotionless. Even if the 'ahoge theory' was true, his bunny ears wouldn't move at all. Well, at least, most of the time it would lay flat on his head."

Shun hummed and asked Makki, "You and Kakeru sleep together, right?"

"Yeah," Makki answered easily, "at least five times a month."

"You don't notice his horns moving while the two of you are banging?"

"No, not really," Makki replied, rubbing his chin contemplatively. "Hard to tell, since the both of us are more preoccupied in--"

"Can we not have this conversation?" Kira interrupted him.

"It sounds so inappropriate," Tommy complained.

"Oh, sorry," Makki apologized. "At any rate, we just have to try making Kakeru feel something strong enough to make his antennas move."

As if on cue , Kakeru reentered the room. Of course, he instantly noticed the dead silence and that all eyes were on him. Before he could question anything, Makki spoke up.

Makki walked up to him. "Kakeru! Great timing!"

"Huh?" Kakeru said, and for a moment there, the two uppermost strands of hair on his head shifted slightly.

Makki put a hand on Kakeru's shoulder. "Can you make your antennas move?"

Kakeru took a second to register Makki's statement. "What?"

"That is so straightforward," Shun muttered quietly, so only Kira and Tommy heard him.

Kakeru was visibly baffled. "My...antennas? Why?"

"I've only ever seen it in anime!" Makki lied. "I wanna see it in real life!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Tommy whispered rapidly, running his fingers through his hair and further messing it up the more baffled he was. "Wasn't he just trying figure out Kakeru's feelings?!"

"Makki's obviously lying," Shun told Tommy through a murmur. "I mean, there's no way he could outright tell his boyfriend he's an emotionless rock."

"But there are no muscles in my hair," Kakeru pointed out to Makki. "How can I make it move?"

"The million-dollar question!" Kira announced dramatically, his voice barely a whisper.

"In anime, the hair will bend to a specific shape to reflect the person's feelings," Makki explained to Kakeru. "So, let's have sex tonight! I want to see the shape your ahoge would make!"

Unexpectedly (or not), Kakeru's face flushed bright red. "Don't say such things so boldly!"

"Does Makki ever use his brain?" Kira wondered aloud, facepalming.

Shun groaned. "I should've left when I could."

"But look!" Tommy grabbed Kira and Shun's arms, one of each, to point them at Kakeru.

Kakeru's hair, or to be specific, his ahoges were standing straight, like actual antennas.

Kira gasped. "They do move according to his emotions!"

"So, if he's embarrassed they stand up straight," Shun said. "But if he reacts differently...?"

"And besides," Kakeru huffed with annoyance, "how would you be able to tell that my hair is moving? The two of us would be--"

Kira covered his ears. "Not listening! Not listening!"

"Lalala!" Tommy sang loudly as he, too, covered his ears.

Shun tapped both their shoulders. "Kakeru's horns are waving!"

Exactly as Shun said, Kakeru's ahoge bounced up and down like tiny wings as he said, "That's such an embarrassing reason for sex!" He'd turned away from Makki with his arms crossed and eyes seemingly shut. He was still blushing, but not as much.

"Kakeru's in tsundere mode!" Tommy squealed gleefully, excited by the development.

"A once-in-a-life-time moment!" Kira cried out in a melodramatic manner.

Shun had taken out his phone to record everything. "This. Is. Gold! I still wonder how his hair moves."

"Kira can sprinkle stardust and I can boost fortune," Tommy replied. "What's not to believe?"

Shun made a noise of disbelief. "Tommy, you do realize the latter hasn't ever been proven true."

"Yes, it's true!" Tommy fumed, upset that he had been doubted. "My fans say that they've encountered great things after I raised their fortune!"

"They could've been saying that just to be nice, Tommy," Kira bluntly rationalized.

Tommy frowned in a tight-lipped way with puffed up cheeks, buzzing angrily. "That's so mean, Kira! Our date tonight's cancelled!"

Kira gasped. "What?! I'm sorry! Please don't cancel!" he pleaded with sad blue eyes.

"Have we entered the realm of the insane?" Shun muttered to himself as he observed the chaos transpiring in the dressing room.

"Hey, you've contributed to this insanity, too, Shun!" Kira snapped at him.

Meanwhile, Makki was apologizing to Kakeru for his bad choice of words. Kakeru still refused to look at his boyfriend and his ahoge was also flapping up and down at Makki, as if it was trying to say for Kakeru: 'Go away. I don't want to talk to you.' So much for looking at eyes of a dead fish. Now Kakeru doesn't even want to face him.

Finally, the madness ended (or was postponed) when Tesshi entered the room to tell the boys, "It's time for practice, boys!"

And thus, the conversation(s) were put on hold and practice became top priority.