Chapter 1: Ep1 P1: Sauron's Return
A group of Mordor Orcs re-entered the country as the barren ground was being rebuilt by a spirit form. This spirit form looked like a ball of light. The Mordor Orcs looked in confusion, moments before one of them pulled out a whip. The other Mordor Orcs were startled and started running around the place as the ground was raised and brought back together.
In an instant, the ball of light rebuilt Barad-dûr, but this time did not have any lidless eye at the top. As for the volcano, Mount Doom, it remained still and not burning. The ball of light, turning out to be the spirit of the Maiar Sauron, approached the volcano and did his best to light it. Still nothing. The spirit of Sauron kicked the volcano several times, causing it to rumble, but once again was still. Smoke started billowing from the top in steam. The spirit of Sauron cackled.
The Mordor Orcs laughed as they joined the spirit of Sauron.
“Master, you’ve returned,” said the Mordor Orc leader.
“Yes, I have. How many Ring-bearers survived Mount Doom?” asked the spirit of Sauron.
The Mordor Orcs looked at one another, confused. The Orc leader continued, “We don’t know, master. We fled. We’re not sure–” he was gagged by the spirit of Sauron, who looked annoyed.
The spirit of Sauron threw the Mordor Orc leader straight into a wall, causing the Mordor Orc leader to see stars, literally, around his head. The spirit of Sauron shook his head in frustration.
Sauron’s spirit told the Mordor Orcs gathered, “You are no help at all! Two of the Ring-bearers escaped. I know this because I recall seeing the Ring-bearer that held my Ring the longest. When the Ring passed hands, temporarily, to the Ring-bearer’s friend, another insignificant Halfling, I knew the creature Gollum would find them. It was only a matter of time. By the way, why hasn’t that creature returned to me?”
One of the Mordor Orcs said, trying to make an excuse, “He has, master. He–”
“He died, master,” said another Mordor Orc. “It’s the only explanation.”
The spirit of Sauron fumed. “Well, I will NOT be returning as an Eye. These Ring-bearers need to be found, especially the one that held my Ring from the Shire all the way to Mordor. Baggins must be found.” He paused. When the Mordor Orcs did nothing, the spirit of Sauron yelled, “Move, NOW!”
“Yes, master!” cried the Mordor Orcs in terror. They ran and ran in circles until they smacked into each other, crashing backwards on the barren ground with literal yellow stars circling their heads.
The spirit of Sauron shook his head again. “Idiots.” He told the air, “I will find you, Baggins, and when I return full force, you’ll be sorry.”
“I don’t think he can hear you, master,” said a Mordor Orc, still alert.
Annoyed again, the spirit of Sauron choked the Mordor Orc until he tossed him towards the other Mordor Orcs. Sauron’s spirit watched as the Mordor Orcs acted like nine pins when they stood up, being bowled into by the Mordor Orc that Sauron’s spirit tossed their way.
Sauron’s spirit shook his head once more. “Unbelievable.”
The Narrator began his speech to the audience. “Things in the Shire were beginning to look bleak, but the wizard Saruman was soon stopped by the hobbit Frodo Baggins, who pleaded with the hobbits and Saruman to show him mercy. The hobbits retaliated and ended Saruman’s life, against Frodo’s wishes. With the terror of the War of the Ring ended, the hobbits began their rebuilding of the Shire, unaware of Sauron’s plan…”
Frodo looked at the camera in confusion.
Merry Brandybuck, a hobbit and Frodo’s friend and cousin, asked his cousin, “Eh Frodo, who are you talking to?”
“I was talking to no one, Merry,” said Frodo. “How’s Sam?”
Merry slapped his pale claw hand at Frodo, causing Frodo to see literal yellow stars swirling around his head. “Busy as ever. With him being Mayor and all, the Shire may turn out well.”
Frodo shook himself off, hoping to get rid of the dizziness.
Merry pointed out another hobbit in the near distance. “Look, there’s Pippin. Hey Pippin, you need help?!” On the word ‘help’, Merry slapped Frodo again with his pale claw hand, leaving Frodo in dizziness again for another moment.
Shaking off the dizziness again, Frodo watched Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took a moment before he worked on repairing a broken fence. As he picked up a hammer, Frodo was approached by Sam Gamgee, his closest friend since the quest to Mordor.
“Mr. Frodo,” said Sam.
“Sam,” said Frodo, delighted to see him. He pounded the fence with the hammer, causing the fence to collapse on all sides.
“How are you?” asked Sam, concerned.
Frodo threw the hammer off to the side, smacking Farmer Maggot on the top of the head. Farmer Maggot rubbed the top of his head, before shouting at Frodo in the background. Frodo looked around anxiously, before telling Sam as he ran off, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Mr. Frodo, come back!” cried Sam, confused at Frodo’s sudden flight.
Just as Frodo charged out of the village of Bywater, Farmer Maggot accidentally smacked a fellow hobbit. The scene that followed was a brawl amongst hobbit men, similar to a bar fight. Sam looked at Merry and Pippin in confusion. Merry shrugged his shoulders, while Pippin ate a green apple.
Sam chose then to intervene. “Quiet everyone! I know things seem bleak and I know Mr. Frodo is out of his wits, but I will get to the bottom of this. There’s no need to fight!”
“Just get that whippersnapper before he does something else that’s shameful,” said Farmer Maggot.
Sam saluted Farmer Maggot, “I’m on it, Mr. Maggot.”
As he watched Sam run off after Frodo, Farmer Maggot shook his head in frustration. Merry grabbed Pippin before he could sneak a pie away from a hobbit couple. The pie landed on the picnic table, back in its first position.
Chapter 2: Ep1 P2: Frodo's Apology
As Frodo ran across Tom Cotton’s wheat field, a sneaky gangly creature that looked like a hobbit and had long stringy hair moved about the landscape. Frodo, confused, charged out of the wheat field and into a big beast with a lot of brown fur. The beast roared in frustration.
“Uh…” Frodo looked around, but was unsure what to do.
That was until a man wearing a white shirt, blue jacket, and wearing brown pants and a blaster pistol on his belt approached the brown big beast. “Chewie, come on. We’ve got a sweet party to go to. Come on, it’s this way.” He led the beast away from Frodo and the camera, as the big beast complained in roars.
Frodo shook his head in annoyance. “What are they doing here?”
The gangly creature zipped behind the Three-Farthing Stone.
“I heard a whoosh,” said Frodo, stating the obvious. He approached the large round stone. “Hullo? Who’s back here?”
The chuckles behind the Three-Farthing Stone sounded familiar to Frodo. Before he could investigate, another voice interrupted Frodo’s venture:
“Mr. Frodo!” cried Sam, rushing towards him.
Merry and Pippin joined Frodo and Sam.
“There you are,” said Merry.
“You need to go back and apologize to Farmer Maggot,” said Sam.
“Sam, it was an accident,” said Frodo. He sighed. “I supposed I should. I’m not sure why I ran off the way I did.” He banged his hand against the Three-Farthing Stone, the Shire’s border marker, but nothing happened. Frodo chuckled in delight. “I suppose we should return to Bywater.”
“Good idea, cousin,” said Merry, patting Frodo gently on the shoulder with his pale claw hand.
Frodo laughed giddily.
As the four hobbits left the Three-Farthing Stone, the gangly creature named Gollum pulled out a small palantir from his pocket. He spoke into it, as the spirit of Sauron, now taken form into a spirit body, gazed back at him.
“Sméagol has found Master, yes precious has,” said Gollum.
“Master? I AM THE ONLY MASTER!” shouted the spirit of Sauron from the palantir.
Gollum almost dropped the palantir, but luckily held onto it.
“Yes, you are the Master of my precious, but Baggins was the Master that became my friend, for a time,” said Gollum.
The spirit of Sauron was clearly peeved, “Listen, you little wretch, I brought you back so you could find Baggins and bring him to me. Do your job!”
“Yes… Master? Sméagol is on it. Gollum, gollum!” said Gollum, returning the palantir to his pocket, before bounding to Bywater.
Back at Mordor, with the Orcs preparing for battle, the spirit of Sauron rubbed his hands together in a menacing way. “I will find this Baggins that almost destroyed my Ring. For sure, he will…”
“Yes, that is a brilliant plan!” said Darth Vader, coming out from behind him. “We shall…”
“What is he doing here?” asked the spirit of Sauron in confusion.
Darth Vader cackled until the LEGO version of Aria Breuer showed up. “Okay Darth, you’re not in this story. It’s a good idea I stop one of you before you all show up.”
“But wouldn’t it be better if I just chime in and attack Frodo Baggins when he least expects it? It would be so…”
“Darth, Darth, look at me,” said Aria. “Didn’t we go over this before: no one makes a third crossover unless I give the call?”
“Sorry Aria,” said Darth Vader, depressed.
Aria led Darth Vader off the set. The spirit of Sauron shook his head in annoyance. He told a fellow Mordor Orc, “Didn’t we clearly tell them no third crossover?”
“Uh… should we have, sir… I mean, master?” asked the Mordor Orc.
The spirit of Sauron, for no reason, tossed the Mordor Orc against a rock, making the Mordor Orc see literal yellow stars spinning around his head.
Back in the Shire, in the village of Bywater, Frodo and his three hobbit friends talked for a time until they spotted Farmer Maggot. Even though Frodo was afraid, Merry and Pippin pushed him to Mr. Maggot until they were face to face. Farmer Maggot looked perturbed upon seeing Frodo. Mr. Maggot even crossed his arms and tapped his foot to show how angry he was.
“Well, Frodo Baggins, what have you to say for yourself?” asked Farmer Maggot, waiting for an apology.
Frodo spoke as truthfully as he could. “I’m very sorry about your head. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Yes, our cousin seems a bit out of it today. No hard feelings, right?” asked Pippin.
Farmer Maggot thought it over, and then said to the four hobbits, “No hard feelings, but I would watch Mr. Baggins for a time to see if he’s all right. Now I will have to find a healer for my sore head.”
“I’ll pay for the healing, Mr. Maggot,” said Frodo.
“That’s very kind of you. We can discuss payment when we get there,” said Farmer Maggot, wrapping an arm over Frodo’s shoulder.
Sam approached Merry and Pippin, “Well, I say our work is done.”
Merry thought it over. “We should head that way to see how Farmer Maggot fares.”
“I agree with Merry,” said Pippin, but not before pulling out his brown food pouch.
Merry asked him, annoyed, “Why do you carry that thing around?”
“For a snack, Merry,” said Pippin. “It’s also great for carrying other small utilities.”
Merry smacked a pale claw hand on his forehead, shaking his head in frustration.
Sam called the two younger hobbits. “Come on, Mr. Merry, Mr. Pippin. We don’t want to lose track of Mr. Frodo.”
“Come on, Pippin,” said Merry, grabbing Pippin and causing the younger hobbit to drop a green apple.
Chapter 3: Ep1 P3: Captured
As I'm sure you've noticed from the previous chapter, this was originally meant to be just a LEGO The Lord of the Rings and LEGO crossover. Obviously, that doesn't happen later on and a majority of it is in the "Star Wars" galaxy, LEGO version.
The clip revealed in text version came from the extended edition of "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" 2001 film, 2002 for the extended edition.
At the healer’s house in Bywater, Frodo paid gold LEGO studs up front to the healer. Once that was done, and Farmer Maggot was pleased, the healer checked his head injury, stapled the head wound, and wrapped Farmer Maggot’s head in a white bandaged wrapping. Frodo looked like he wanted to do more to help ease Farmer Maggot’s pain.
“Mr. Maggot, I could stay with you if you wanted… until you get better,” said Frodo, concerned.
“No, Frodo Baggins. I’ll let my wife come and bring me home when she can. You’ve done plenty for me,” said Farmer Maggot.
“If you’re sure you won’t need anymore help?” asked Frodo.
Merry clasped Frodo’s shoulder with his pale claw hand. “Come on, Frodo. Let Mr. Maggot rest up.”
“Bye,” said Frodo to Farmer Maggot, waving a pale claw hand at him.
Farmer Maggot shooed him off with his pale claw hand, before he fainted on the LEGO hospital bed.
Outside, Merry and Pippin had a discussion with Sam and Frodo over going to the Green Dragon inn for a drink. Just as Sam joined the two cousins, Frodo heard another whoosh and followed the sound. Sam watched Frodo with caution.
“Mr. Frodo?” asked Sam.
“I’ll be right there! I want to check on something,” said Frodo.
“Okay,” said Sam, following Merry and Pippin into the LEGO hobbit tavern.
As Frodo approached the LEGO blue lake water, he looked up in surprise as he saw Gollum fall from a tree. In Gollum’s hands was a brown bag.
“I got you!” cried Gollum, victorious.
Frodo remembered nothing.
Sam looked at the sign in front of the Green Dragon inn, which was very large, wooden, and read in fine hobbit text WELCOME to the Green Dragon Inn, followed by a sub-text that read When It Says “Green”, We Don’t Necessarily Mean a live Dragon. Sam looked at the ink words on the wooden sign in confusion.
Merry called Sam, “Sam, you coming?”
Sam followed at a hurried pace.
Inside the Green Dragon inn were LEGO brown tables and chairs, along with a LEGO bar table and a LEGO fireplace with flame shaped objects flickering on top of LEGO logs. Sam joined Merry and Pippin at a table, where they ordered LEGO hamburgers and a LEGO drinks. A band of hobbits played music in the background, playing the Shire theme. In an instant, a television screen at their table flickered on to show a scene from the extended edition of “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”:
Inside the Green Dragon inn, after Frodo joins in with Merry and Pippin, singing and laughing, he returns to the table where Sam, Gaffer, Noakes, and Sandyman are at. Frodo tells Gaffer, cheerfully “ and proud of it! Cheers Gaffer!” before sliding the four drinks across the table.
Gaffer says, after getting his drink, “Cheers.”
Sandyman continues his speech to the four hobbits. “ Well it's none of our concern what goes on beyond our borders. Keep your nose out of trouble and no trouble will come to you.”
Frodo grins as he raises his mug and drinks.
Merry shut off the television with the remote. Pippin shook his head. “Frodo’s like his uncle. He’ll get into trouble sooner or later. Look at what happened to Farmer Maggot.”
Merry sighed. “Look at what’ll happen if he doesn’t show up. Where is he?”
“Hey! Watch it, lady!” complained a male LEGO hobbit.
Rosie brought Sam, Merry, and Pippin their drinks in LEGO mugs of different colors. “Here you go. I’ll be right back with your hamburgers.” She walked away.
Sam put a pale claw hand to his cheek. “It’s not like Mr. Frodo not to show up. I should check on him to see if he’s okay.”
“He’s fine, Sam,” said Merry, “unlike us. You might expect a brawl fight to be had here any second.”
Jack Sparrow shot with his pistol at the ceiling, “That’s right, mate. Who’s ready to…”
Aria Breuer showed up again, this time to stop Jack, “Okay Jack, you’re not here either. Now I don’t want you to cause trouble.”
“Who says I’m causing trouble, savvy?” asked Jack. “These hobbits need some enlightenment from time to time.”
“Come on, Jack. You want some rum,” said Aria. It wasn’t a question.
Jack’s shoulders sagged. “I suppose.”
“Someone get Jack Sparrow some rum!” called Aria, as she and Jack went off-camera.
Jack shouted in the background, “It’s Captain Jack Sparrow.”
Sam and Merry shook their heads.
Pippin told his friends, “Well, at least it can’t get any worse.”
“Let’s hope not. What is with these random characters appearing out of the blue? I saw Batman in Bywater while I was searching for Mr. Frodo,” said Sam.
Merry sighed, putting a pale claw hand against his cheek.
Frodo saw nothing but darkness. He was coming to and at an impressive rate. He could hear someone’s voice, very close to him. He opened his sleepy eyes, only to come face to face with the spirit of Sauron.
“WAKE UP!” shouted the spirit of Sauron.
“Ah!” cried Frodo, becoming startled and immediately awake. He found his pale claw hands were chained to a chair by LEGO chains and shackles.
“You know how long I’ve waited to find you, Frodo Baggins,” said the spirit of Sauron, infuriated.
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” asked Frodo, confused.
The spirit of Sauron got right up to Frodo’s face as he moved the chair backwards, while speaking to him, “Oh, come on. You don’t know who I am, do you? I am Sauron, or rather in spirit form.”
“You’re Sauron? I thought Sauron couldn’t take another form after his Ring was destroyed,” said Frodo, keeping to the truth.
The spirit of Sauron put the chair back in the first position. “Smart aleck, but we are not through here. You see, I am glad to have found you because I have news that will rock your… hairy feet? Fine! I am your father.”
“What?” asked Frodo, confused.
End of Episode 1
Chapter 4: Ep2 P1: Frodo's Flighty Escape
Here is where the Narrator comes in. Now, both Narrators from LEGO The Lord of the Rings and LEGO Star Wars make their appearance in this episode block, split into three parts. That's how I'm doing the episodes from now on. Now, both Narrators won't show up and the Narrator from LEGO Star Wars will make a grander appearance than the Narrator from LEGO The Lord of the Rings... but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The Narrator spoke to the audience, recapping the previous episode, “In case you missed all the action, Sauron had returned in a spirit-like form, plotting his revenge on the Ring-bearer Frodo Baggins. Frodo, meantime in the Shire, ended up slapped by Merry, um twice, and had to repair the fence, which fell to pieces either way. The hammer was tossed and smacked Farmer Maggot’s head, causing Frodo to flee. Sam gave chase and found Frodo by the Three-Farthing Stone, as Frodo did not, apparently, travel far. Frodo apologized to Farmer Maggot and brought him to the healer’s house in Bywater to have his head stapled and bandaged. Frodo was then sacked by Gollum and brought to Sauron’s dark tower in Mordor, where he learned the truth about his parentage, or so we think. As for the Elves, well… let’s just say they had bigger problems to worry about.”
In the archery training center, somewhere in the Woodland Realm, Legolas shot a series of bulls-eyes at all the targets, and shot the dummies straight through the heart. Legolas flicked his long blonde hair back, moments into a ring of stars shooting several times behind him in the background as the Elf Prince made a graceful pose. Legolas continued his daily activities in the Woodland Realm as the Narrator praised him:
“Legolas of the Woodland Realm: his name is translated to Greenleaf, but people confuse this as his last name… which he does not have,” said the Narrator. “Legolas of the Woodland Realm: he is friend to Gimli the Dwarf. Legolas of the Woodland Realm: he is a very skilled hunter and impressive against formidable foes. Legolas of the Woodland Realm…”
The camera stopped at Thranduil, the Elven-king, who starred in confusion and frustration. The Narrator stopped his speech, which sounded close to something you would say to the villain Gaston, as Legolas skipped towards his father’s throne. Thranduil applauded him in a solemn manner, before moving down his throne’s stairs to the platform.
Thranduil spoke in his usual deep voice, “Legolas, there has been a serious uprising in fangirls towards us elves. Elrond has been attempting to stop the madness there.”
“What should I do, Ada?” asked Legolas.
“I need you to…”
“Milord!” cried an elf soldier, charging towards him and Legolas. “Milord, milord! I have big, dire news!”
“What is it?” asked Thranduil and Legolas in unison.
“Speak!” shouted Thranduil in his kingly voice.
The elf soldier panted. “The fangirls… they’re breaking down our doors!”
Legolas turned to Thranduil for assistance. Thranduil shook his head, telling the elf soldier, “Then open the door! It’s not that hard.”
The elf soldier stood at attention for a moment. “Yes milord.” He ran off towards the tall double doors. After giving the order, the double doors burst open by the fangirls, sending the elf guards crushed behind the doors and the elf soldier thrown backwards onto the root walkway.
Legolas and Thranduil ran up the stairs to Thranduil’s throne, where Thranduil sat back down on it in a slow graceful fashion after collecting himself. Legolas looked back at the platform as the teenage and adult fangirls charged mighty fast onto the platform, screaming and giggling. Legolas looked beside himself in a great confusion.
“You are NOT my father!” cried Frodo, beside himself in terror and knowing.
“I am TOO your father, son!” shouted the spirit of Sauron. He held out his arms in a creepy manner. “Don’t you want to say ‘hello’ to your sweet papa.”
“Get away from me!” cried Frodo, cowering. He looked at the camera for help, and hopefully a way to get out of this story, but no help came.
The spirit of Sauron huffed. “Well, since you don’t want to be part of the bountiful harvest that makes my barren land so… tenderized, I’m going to have to send you to the melting chamber.”
“What?” asked Frodo, worried and confused.
Sauron’s spirit flew to his Orc, informing him, “Send this Halfling to the melting chamber.”
“Yes master,” said the Mordor Orc.
“And keep him shackled,” said the spirit of Sauron.
In no time at all, Frodo found he was inside a melting chamber, where he was put onto a bed with a wide opening. Frodo, having no clue what was going on or what he had done to deserve this torture, asked the spirit of Sauron:
“Why are you going to melt me?” asked Frodo. It wasn’t the brightest question he had in mind.
The spirit of Sauron cracked a menacing grin. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll make you anew into the son I’ve always wanted.” He told his Mordor Orcs, “I’ll be back, and with some coffee. Does anyone want some?” He heard several Mordor Orcs cheer in delight.
“Wait… wait, wait! Don’t do this, please?” Frodo’s pleas were unheard amongst the Mordor Orcs, who started the machine. The bed he was attached to moved back and stopped. When a Mordor Orc moved the lever down, a red laser beam struck Frodo’s back, causing him to scream in pain. “Isn’t there anyone that can help me?”
Out of nowhere, Tauriel, a Silvan Wood-elf and ex-Captain of the Guard in the Woodland Realm, showed up inside the melting chamber. Now how she ever got into Mordor remains the question, but we assume… sorry, please continue.
Tauriel, the flaming red haired Wood-elf, shot and slain the Mordor Orcs. She moved the laser away from Frodo and blasted a few barrels along the way, causing fires here and there. Using her knife, Tauriel freed Frodo from his shackles. Frodo looked at her in amazement and relief.
“Who are you?” asked Frodo, curious.
Tauriel said, still focused on the task at hand, “No time to explain, young Halfling. We must flee from this place. Come on!” In a fast maneuver, Tauriel helped Frodo climb up to the high window.
Sauron’s spirit returned right on cue, with a few containers of coffee. “Well, I’m back orcs. How goes the melting-” then he understood, “hey, hey! Stop those two from escaping! Baggins!”
Too late. Frodo and Tauriel grabbed a large metal shingle and slid down the tower of Barad-dûr. Before Frodo thought they were about to land in the lava, Tauriel grabbed Frodo and the two landed on the stone bridge. In a hurry, Frodo rushed to Tauriel’s side as they ran away from the Tower of Barad-dûr. Frodo looked up, sighing in relief to see that no lidless eye rested on the top of the tower.
“The name’s Tauriel. You must be Frodo Baggins, the hobbit I’ve been hearing so much about,” said Tauriel, excited.
“Yeah. That’s me,” said Frodo. “So, do you have any idea how we can find our way to the Shire? My friends miss me, I’m sure… now I sound like Yoda.” He stopped with Tauriel in front of a dark flying starship, which looked closely to Batman’s flying ship.
“We’ll fly in this,” said Tauriel.
“I’m sorry?” asked Frodo, confused.
“Frodo, it’s not safe for you. With Sauron’s return, we need to leave Middle-earth. Head for other worlds and warn the others,” said Tauriel.
“Other… worlds?” asked Frodo. “You don’t mean… we’re leaving now?”
“You’ve got a better plan,” said Tauriel.
The spirit of Sauron called from his dark tower. “There he is. Don’t let my son get away!” At his command, the tower doors opened and Mordor Orcs swarmed out.
Frodo said, agreeing with Tauriel’s plan, “On second thought, I’ll join you Tauriel.”
“Good, you can drive,” said Tauriel.
“What?” asked Frodo, stunned.
“Come on!” called Tauriel, putting Frodo in the driver’s seat as she closed the spaceship’s lid.
“Eh… I’ve never driven a ship before,” said Frodo, unsure what to push.
Tauriel pressed the ‘on’ button. She then gave Frodo a quick lesson in flying. As the Mordor Orcs advanced towards them, Tauriel told Frodo, “Fly now!”
“Ehh,” cried Frodo.
“This button!” cried Tauriel, pressing the right button to cause the spaceship to fly.
As they climbed higher and higher above the ground, Frodo flew forward and made the ship go above the mountains. Sauron’s spirit attempted to go after Frodo and Tauriel’s spaceship, but eventually gave up. He was infuriated, as if he wasn’t always furious nowadays. Sauron’s spirit returned to the ground, decimating every rock and chair in his path. One time, Sauron’s spirit threw a good sized rock at a Mordor Orc, causing the Orc to feel the pain until other Mordor Orcs moved the rock off of him.
Aria shook her head, but then gave up. “Why is this happening? We agreed no crossover worlds. Oh, put it in anyway.”
All the LEGO figures cheered, including Frodo and Tauriel, who were flying towards the barrier into the next LEGO world.
Chapter 5: Ep2 P2: To a Galaxy Far, Far Away
An annoying string of commercials about products and other pointless necessities zips across the screen. The commercials end, the screen goes black and we fade in, returning to the action…
After the most egregious fade-in, Frodo and Tauriel flew the bat-spaceship through the barrier and into a galaxy far, far away. Frodo looked both anxious and confused.
“…and after my parents’ died, my life hasn’t been the same. And after the Ring passed… well, let’s just say I’ve been through torture,” explained Frodo.
Frodo looked annoyed at the camera. Now seeing the surroundings, Frodo asked Tauriel, confused, “Er… where are we?”
“Oh, we’re in the Galaxy,” said Tauriel. It was her turn to explain. “It has everything: lightsabers, Jedi, Sith, planets, lifeforms, aliens, starships, pilots…”
“Uh huh. Sounds fascinating,” said Frodo, paying more attention to what lay in a compartment against one of the walls. Pressing a button, Frodo jumped a little as a hidden drawer pulled out by itself to reveal the hilt of a very strange weapon. It was small enough for him. Frodo examined the weapon and said, “I miss my sword.”
“There should be a lightsaber in there somewhere. It looks like a hilt, but don’t open it here,” said Tauriel, making her warning plain.
“Why not?” asked Frodo, still curious.
“Because I don’t want you to damage anything important,” said Tauriel.
Frodo shrugged. He pressed the button to close drawer, returning to Tauriel and taking a seat next to her. He asked next, “So, where are we headed? What planet?”
“Naboo. It should be peaceful there. No eyes of Sauron on us,” said Tauriel.
“Fascinating,” said Frodo, troubled.
As Tauriel flew the craft, triumphant opening crawl music for “Star Wars” could be heard, followed by the Narrator of LEGO Star Wars television shorts spoke loud and clear. Frodo covered his ears because this Narrator’s booming voice was too loud. The opening crawl text appeared was moving before their ship:
The Gungan on Naboo
Frodo and Tauriel have reached the Galaxy
far, far away and are now making their
approach into Naboo. With hopes for
Frodo’s safety, away from Mordor and
Sauron, who claims he is Frodo’s father,
Tauriel hopes for the best.
“This is too loud!” screamed Frodo, complaining and hoping he was heard. He glanced at the bridge’s window, as the opening crawl and the Narrator’s deep voice continued:
Meanwhile, there is much activity at the
SENATE TOWER on Coruscant, as
CHANCELLOR PALPATINE hopes to pass
new sanctions that may end the Clone Wars.
Two Jedi Knights have returned to Coruscant,
in an effort to spread peace and justice to
The opening crawl faded and an unspoiled green planet with lots of blue water could be seen before them. Tauriel readied the ship for the landing cycle. Frodo was both concerned and worried.
“Um… you’re not going down there, are you?” asked Frodo.
“It’s Naboo. We should be safe. The planet’s peaceful and the creatures there are friendly, as are its people,” said Tauriel with confidence.
Frodo was unsure. “Uh, all right, as long as Sauron doesn’t find us there.”
Tauriel giggled. She flew the ship closer to the planet, where they hit the Ozone Layer and luckily passed through it without damage to the ship, which had protection to help it be less damaged.
Meanwhile, Back in the Woodland Realm, in Middle-earth…
Thranduil pulled out a yellow LEGO pocket mirror and checked himself. His narcissistic behavior showed most when he had a mirror. Legolas shook his head in frustration. The fangirls were still waiting, giggling and everything. Legolas was confused and turned to his father for aid.
“Father? When you stop looking at that mirror, I need your help,” said Legolas, hopeful.
“Hmm?” asked Thranduil, a little too focused on his looks. Putting the mirror away, Thranduil spoke to the fangirls, leaving them breathless and sighing, daydreaming about their possible hopes to be with the Elven-king of the Woodland Realm. “My centuries upon centuries of being king of the Woodland Realm have left no ilk, no dent which I can claim as my own. Therefore, lovely fangirls, do not trouble yourselves over me. I am a mere immortal.”
The fangirls continued sighing.
“You’re not helping, father. And what about Tauriel?” asked Legolas. He immediately heard and saw the fangirls growl angrily at that name. “Look, she’s not a bad elf… father, help.”
Thranduil continued his speech, ignoring his son as he walked down the steps. Legolas was forced to climb down them, growing more troubled the closer they reached the fangirls. Thranduil stopped on the bottom step, as he spoke:
“An elven life does not match what gold can offer. Take what you will, but leave some for the elves that deserve it. I seek diamond jewels of pure white, which I have so greatly been bestowed and returned to thanks to the deeds of Bilbo Baggins,” said Thranduil. He turned to his son. “As for Legolas, he is all yours.”
“Father?” asked Legolas.
Thranduil was already climbing back up the steps, not paying much heed to him. “By all means, my son, do with the fangirls what you will, but make sure they are out of this realm before night.” He sat gracefully down on his chair, returning his gaze to his LEGO pocket mirror.
Legolas stared at the fangirls, unsure what exactly to do. So he did the only thing he could think of: run. As he parted through the crowd, in a manner that stunned them, Legolas managed to get a short distance away when the fangirls charged after them. They chased him throughout the Woodland Realm, not even stopping to take a breather, screaming and giggling directly at him. This made Legolas even more troubled.
Chapter 6: Ep2 P3: Jar-Jar's Introduction
Yes, in this story, Jar Jar's name is spelled with a hyphen throughout. Since I didn't want to spend all that tedious work fixing this, I figured just leave it alone. This is also where the story starts to call Sauron "The Lord of Darkness", the title given to him by Hollywood Studio for "The Lord of the Rings in 60 Seconds" skit.
At last, Legolas had reached the stables of the Woodland Realm. The Silvan Wood-elf on guard was relaxing on a chair, reading a newspaper with the title at the top front and center that read: THE WOODLAND REALM DIARIES, with the front page article that had the title Thranduil: King or Greedy Stooge? Legolas’ voice burst through the area, sending the Silvan Wood-elf guard jumping into the air, and then smashing his LEGO chair into a couple of pieces.
“I need a horse! I need my horse!” cried Legolas.
“At once, my lord,” said the Silvan Wood-elf guard, taking off for the stall where Legolas’ white horse rested.
As he opened the door, the white horse burst through, forcing the Silvan Wood-elf guard to stand behind the stall door. Legolas caught the white horse and gallantly, in slow motion too, leapt into the air and landed on the horse’s saddle with ease. As the fangirls charged towards him, in their giggling ways, Legolas was off. The fangirls acted like a crowd at a sporting game doing the wave, looking in confusion as Legolas rode past them in a flurry.
“Why does he always leave?” asked one of the fangirls, disappointed.
The fangirls looked on as Legolas waved to him, a smirky smile on his face. He had made it past the fangirls. One hopeless task now completed and his way to the Woodland Realm’s front gate was near. As the Silvan Wood-elf guards opened the grand tall pair of doors, Legolas rode on. He waved to his father just as the doors closed after him; the way to Mirkwood was past.
Thranduil shook his head. “An elf would never abandon his post. Oh well. I shall convince these fangirls to mind their place from now on.” He gracefully walked down the steps of this throne, heading towards the stables where the fangirls awaited.
Meanwhile, in the Galaxy Far, Far Away…
Flying out of the cloud bank, Tauriel and Frodo could see pastoral green landscapes and lots of rivers and waters. Frodo stared in awe at the surroundings. It reminded him of Rivendell, but slightly different. Tauriel made a soft landing on the grass, in a valley of waterfalls. A few Gungans were waiting for them. After Tauriel turned off the ship’s engine and slipped the key inside her pocket, she led Frodo out of the ship, down an exit ramp. One of the Gungans with pale skin and large amphibian ears rushed up to the pair at once.
“Meesa is expecting you,” said the pale Gungan, pointing at Frodo.
Tauriel’s gaze fell on Frodo. Frodo, alarmed by this, started walking back to the ship’s ramp; however, the ship’s ramp lifted up in its first position. He was now caught between a closed ship and this Gungan.
The pale Gungan, a male, introduced himself, “Meesa called Jar-Jar Binks. Meesa is your friend.”
“And I am Frodo. Frodo Baggins,” said Frodo, not having a choice in the matter. “I’m looking for a way to escape Sauron, the Lord of Darkness.”
“We need your help,” said Tauriel. “If there’s a way to defeat Sauron, we need some answers.”
“Meesa will take you to Coruscant,” said Jar-Jar. He advanced towards Frodo and embraced him, much to Frodo’s surprise and nervousness. “Meesa will be your friend!” He continued squeezing the hobbit in a tight bear hug.
Frodo squirmed and struggled to escape Jar-Jar’s grasp, but found no way. He eventually let the Gungan do what he wished with the hugging. Tauriel giggled at the display of Jar-Jar’s unexpected friendliness
Frodo murmured, feeling more uncomfortable by the second, “What did I do?” He admitted aloud, when Jar-Jar’s squeezing became too much. “I – can’t – breathe! Jar-Jar…”
“Oh!” Jar-Jar released the hobbit at once. He blushed in embarrassment, apologizing in a manner of politeness, “Sorry. Meesa find you adorable.”
Frodo brushed himself off. He told Tauriel, flat out, “Well, we’re not flying in this ship again. If we want to get to Coruscant, we’ll have to take another.”
“Batman will be expecting this ship back. I’ll take it straight to him and meet you on Coruscant,” said Tauriel, opening the ship’s exit/entrance ramp.
“Frodo, stay with Jar-Jar. He’ll take you to Coruscant,” said Tauriel, giving Frodo a direct order. She headed inside the ship once again.
Frodo asked the air, as if Tauriel was still present with him, “You’re leaving me with him?”
Frodo and Jar-Jar now watched as the bat-starship took off into the skies above. Once the ship was out of sight, Frodo returned his gaze to Jar-Jar, who was now giving him a cutesy smile. Frodo almost didn’t think he had any plans, and then he remembered…
“Let’s find that ship and get to Coruscant,” said Frodo, taking the lead through the waterfall valley. Jar-Jar rushed beside him and started talking nonsensical; much like one of Frodo’s fans would have done if they ever saw him, caught him unawares.
End of Episode 2
Chapter 7: Ep3 P1: Theed
The Narrator from LEGO Star Wars shorts spoke in his loud, booming voice. As he did this, a new opening crawl for this episode rolled back:
The Dwarvish Mines
Tauriel has left Frodo in the care
of Jar-Jar Binks. Determined to reach
Coruscant and present his case on
Sauron’s return, Frodo now searches
with Jar-Jar on Naboo, to find a ship
that is space-worthy.
Meanwhile, in the pastoral Middle-earth,
GIMLI, SON OF GLÓIN, has work to do
in the Glittering Caves of ROHAN. Little
does this dwarf know that his best friend
LEGOLAS has just escaped the clutches
of his fan girls…
The opening crawl faded away and the camera craned down to a world. That world was Middle-earth and where the camera craned further down to was the plains of Rohan. Somewhere behind Helm’s Deep was caverns known as the Glittering Caves. It was here that Gimli was busy discussing with other LEGO dwarves over what should be done to help rebuild Middle-earth.
One of the LEGO dwarves chipped away at the brown LEGO rocks with a pick axe. As he did, he spotted something white and glittering. Moving the broken LEGO rocks away from the white gem, the LEGO dwarf took the white gem and almost pocketed it. That is until Gimli spotted him in the act. Annoyed, Gimli gestured with his pale claw hand to hand over the gem, at which the LEGO dwarf did with much regret.
Gimli peered at the LEGO white gem for a moment, before pocketing it in his breeches’ pocket. He turned to his fellow dwarves with a glimmer of hope in his eyes: “Now what were we discussing?”
Just then, Legolas charged into the cave on his white steed. He gracefully leapt off the horse, before flicking his long blonde hair off to the side. Gimli shook his head in frustration at Legolas.
Deciding to be polite, Gimli approached his elf prince friend and said, “Legolas, you’re here awful quick. What brings you here, my friend?”
“Well Gimli, you’re aware of the fangirl issue I’ve been having,” said Legolas, twiddling his claw hands in nervousness.
Gimli placed his hands on his hips. He shook his head. “Not in the least. Hardly any fangirls come my way.”
“I am aware of that fact. Still…”
“There he is!” cried one Legolas fangirl, as she and the other fangirls charged towards Legolas and Gimli.
Gimli let out a grunt, before informing Legolas, “I understand you now, better actually, Legolas.”
Legolas could only look in fright at the fangirls. How did they find him so quickly? The fangirls inched closer to Legolas, as Legolas backed a few inches closer to Gimli, in an attempt to avoid his fangirls. Gimli let out a grunt, doing his best to make sure Legolas didn’t step on his LEGO brown boots.
Meanwhile, Back on Naboo…
Frodo and Jar-Jar arrived in the city of Theed. Theed looked vastly huge, filled with several buildings, as well as trees and plants here and there. Jar-Jar was in the middle of a long conversation with Frodo… actually, Frodo became the listener and Jar-Jar the talkative Gungan. Frodo couldn’t blame the Gungan. He only wanted a friend.
“And then my family kicked me out again, due to my clumsiness. No one understands meesa,” said Jar-Jar, depressed.
“I might,” said Frodo. He peered around, looking for a ship. Any ship would have done at this point. “We were searching for a ship, so we can reach Coruscant.”
“Oh, meesa will show you. This way, to the cantina!” cried Jar-Jar in excitement.
They were off! Jar-Jar led Frodo straight to the Theed Cantina, which reminded Frodo of a pub, but more space-worthy. Frodo and Jar-Jar looked at each other, wondering the same thing: if the cantina would be a friendly place or hostile. Jar-Jar was more worried than Frodo about the situation.
“Oh, maybe it would be best if I wait out here,” said Jar-Jar.
“You’re not turning cowardly on me, Jar-Jar. Come on!” said Frodo, leading the way.
Jar-Jar looked about, concerned if anyone was following him. “Oh, this is going to be messy. Meesa thinks so…” He caught up to Frodo, as the two made their way past the automatic doors.
At last, they had arrived at a cantina. Now, Frodo hoped, they would find a pilot that would take them straight to Coruscant. But which pilot would take them there? That was the question that remained glued in Frodo’s LEGO mind, and there was a lot of clutter…
“Ahem!” Frodo got the Narrator’s attention.
Let’s move on.
Frodo grinned at the camera. He then followed Jar-Jar into the entrance hall of the cantina.
Chapter 8: Ep3 P2: Lindo Calrissian
Lindo Calrissian came from "LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles". Lindo will be appearing in this episode block and the next, just so everyone's aware.
Theed Cantina was fairly large and elegant. But in the dining area, complete with a stage, it was a different story. At least the crowd was peaceful, or so Frodo began to believe when he entered the room. He was wary of being around people, seeing as he did not like crowds, and chose instead of follow Jar-Jar towards the bar stand. There were a couple of Gungans in this cantina as well as people. Frodo felt strangely out of place and alone.
“Meesa will get us some drinks,” said Jar-Jar, seconds into calling to the bartender.
Frodo scanned the room. He had to find a pilot here who would take him and Jar-Jar to Coruscant. Tauriel would be waiting for their arrival any second now. But who… that’s when he saw a man with olive skin and donning poufy, curly raven hair and a raven mustache. He was dressed in what was space-worthy ‘70s clothes, making him look ready to dance at any given time. Curious about the man, Frodo trotted over to him, leaving Jar-Jar looking about the place, wondering where Frodo had gone. Finding the hobbit a few seconds later, Jar-Jar returned to the bar stand, waiting on his and Frodo’s drinks.
Timid, Frodo asked the olive-skinned man, “Um… are you a pilot? My friend and I are looking for a ship to get us to Coruscant.”
The man drank down his liquid, before admitting in a cool voice, “Yes. You’re that Halfling everyone’s talking about. I hear Sauron is back, looking for you.”
“Sauron thinks he’s my father, which is simply not true,” said Frodo. “I’m Frodo, by the way. My friend may have a way to pay you.”
“No money for this service. The name’s Lindo. Lindo Calrissian. My boy Lando is aboard the Millennium Falcon. So, it looks as though I have a special guest on my hands,” said Lindo, smooth-talking the hobbit. “So, what brings you to Theed’s cantina, per chance?”
Frodo shrugged. “I’m just looking for a way to Coruscant. This planet’s nice.”
“Yes. Yes, it is. No gangs looking for you, no Hutts betting wages. All seems quiet here. I’ll get my ship ready. Whenever you’re ready to leave, we’ll take off,” said Lindo, heading out of the cantina.
Frodo called, softly, “Thank you, Lindo!”
“Anytime, my man… eh hobbit, anytime,” said Lindo, waving to him as he left the cantina, his purple cape gliding as he walked.
Frodo returned to Jar-Jar shortly afterwards. Taking a seat on the stool, Frodo grabbed his drink and slurped half of it down. He felt as if he had the Ring again around his neck.
Turning to Jar-Jar, Frodo asked, “Do you ever feel like everyone knows who you are, when really you just want to hide?”
Jar-Jar shook his head, “Meesa don’t think so. Meesa is lucky to have found you, friend hobbit.” He slurped down his drink, his tongue lolling inside his LEGO mug, looking for droplets.
Frodo sighed and grunted. Maybe Jar-Jar had a point. In a way, he was lucky to have found the Gungan when he did. Maybe Tauriel was right to have brought him to Naboo, so he and Jar-Jar could meet. But then… there was the issue with Sauron. What on Middle-earth was the Dark Lord of Mordor doing there?
Meanwhile, in Mordor…
“Keep at it, keep at it… no, I don’t want it put there!” commanded a Mordor Orc Captain, rearranging some flowers in a vase. “Move it this way!”
A Mordor Orc approached his captain, whispering in his ear. Enraged, the Mordor Orc Captain charged up Barad-dûr, using the many, many stairs to reach Sauron’s chamber at the top. Sauron was now almost in full physical form, and sulking. The Mordor Orc Captain was clearly frustrated.
“Mi lord Sauron,” the Mordor Orc Captain said, bowing before his master.
“It’s been hours since Frodo Baggins escaped my halls,” said Sauron, clearly depressed. “You want to know why that is?”
“Because you scared him away when you almost melted him down,” admitted the Mordor Orc Captain, showing off a sparkle smile.
Sauron turned slowly around, before shouting fiercely, “GET BACK TO WORK!”
The Mordor Orc Captain flew in the air, before crashing on his back. He scurried away down the stairs, leaving Sauron alone again. Sauron shook his head. He wanted Frodo Baggins back. He needed the hobbit so he could build his very own son, but how… a light bulb lit up over his head as an idea came to mind: instead of melting Frodo Baggins down, Sauron could build a Halfling son that looked just like Frodo, only more sinister and much closer to his standards. It was the perfect ploy.
“Orcs, get me some building directions! We’re going to build a new Frodo Baggins, one more tolerable,” said Sauron, heading out of his chamber.
Meanwhile, in the Glittering Caves of Rohan…
Gimli did his best to figure out what these fangirls wanted, but to no avail. In several seconds, the fangirls pushed Gimli off to the side, forcing Legolas to flee once again on his white steed. The fangirls chased after Legolas like there was no stopping them. Gimli about had enough of this charade.
“Dwarves, after those fangirls!” commanded Gimli.
A bunch of other Gimlis with their double axes charged out of the Glittering Caves, all saying in unison, “Yes, my lord Gimli!” The other Gimlis knocked the real LEGO Gimli out of the way, forcing Gimli to land in mud.
A few dwarves laughed at this display. Shaking himself off, Gimli grabbed his axes, shield and yes helmet off the rack. Once that was assembled, Gimli rushed out of the Glittering Caves. He looked this way and that, only to see the billowing dust clouds of the charge. Grunting, Gimli charged forward after the crowd of chasing fangirls and Gimlis, who were in pursuit of the fangirls.
The chase was on and Legolas was in the forefront of that chase.
Chapter 9: Ep3 P3: Escape from Theed
The LEGO Army of Gimlis, my own running gag in this story, make their first appearance. :)
After a commercial about a disgruntled product, that’s been out of sequence for a very long time, we return to the devastating action…
Also, Sauron is way off on time… but moving forward…
The pursuit was relentless. Legolas looked behind him as the screaming fangirls charged forward, blowing puffs of white dust clouds in the air as they chased after their favorite Elf Prince of Mirkwood… I mean, the Woodland Realm. Eventually, Legolas stopped his steed before a tree and climbed up it. The gallant steed blocked the way to the tree, right as the fangirls gathered around the tree in a circle. The gallant steed tried everything to stop the fangirls, but soon the tree crashed to the ground, smacking it in no time at all and leaving a dent the size of a boulder.
The fangirls screamed for Legolas. Terrified, Legolas gracefully leaped onto his white steed and charged off. The fangirls continued their chase, not stopping until they had their heart’s desire.
The Gimlis, meantime, were in pursuit of the fangirls. Nothing could stop these dwarves that looked like LEGO Gimli. One of the fangirls noticed the LEGO Gimlis’ pursuit and set up a trap filled with stacks of LEGO chicken legs. The LEGO Gimlis stopped and observed the meal.
“Which one of us should have this glorious prize?” asked one LEGO Gimli.
“I think… body slam!” said another LEGO Gimli, lunging at the plate of LEGO chicken legs.
In seconds, the LEGO Gimlis fought over the LEGO chicken legs. Sometimes, they ended up in a tug of war with the LEGO plate, wanting the LEGO chicken legs all to themselves. When the real LEGO Gimli arrived, he shook his head, ignored the other Gimlis and charged on in search of his elven friend. The second the real LEGO Gimli was away, the other Gimlis were thrown into the air by a rope trap, the LEGO chicken legs scattering, with exception of one Gimli successfully nabbing a LEGO chicken leg and biting down on it.
Gimli was in hot pursuit now, but always further and further away from the fangirls and Legolas. It would take much for this dwarf to reach his friend. But surely, this chase could go on forever.
“Ahem!” coughed Gimli, hoping the Narrator sought reason.
We mean when the chase stops.
“That’s better,” said Gimli, charging on in pursuit of the chasing crowd.
Legolas, in the meantime, wondered when this chase would end. Would he ever find safety? His father Thranduil was no help and Tauriel was nowhere to be found. Where could he go now? Why, perhaps to Rivendell. He could lose the fangirls there and surely Lord Elrond Half-elven would secure a safe house for him. Gimli, also in the meantime, figured out where Legolas was heading and decided to take a shortcut, hoping to meet his elven friend along the way.
Meanwhile, Back on Naboo…
Leaving the cantina, Frodo recalled that Lindo didn’t tell him where he had docked his ship. It would indeed be a search, something which they did not have time for. As Frodo looked about for Lindo or his son, Jar-Jar followed him. While Frodo was concerned, Jar-Jar was smiling and humming to himself. Just then a boy with olive skin and poufy curly raven hair, donned in ‘70s space-worthy clothes approached Frodo and Jar-Jar.
“You must be Frodo Baggins!” announced the boy.
Frodo shushed him. “People are looking for me.”
“Sorry about that. My name’s Lando. Lando Calrissian. My father Lindo wanted me to direct you to our ship, personally. I said ‘sure pops. I would be delighted to bring our special guest to our ship’. It’s this way,” said Lando, leading the way.
As Frodo and Jar-Jar followed Lando to the docking bay on Theed, they had no idea that they were being followed by a boy with pale skin, short brown hair, and wearing a white shirt and brown trousers. The boy poked his head out behind a wall, admitting softly:
“I might as well be a stowaway aboard their ship,” admitted the boy. He still had his nametag on, which said “Ian”. He continued his sneaking, just as Frodo heard the patter of footsteps behind him. Seeing nothing, Frodo continued his walk after Lando.
Just as they reached the docking bay, where Lindo’s ship was located, Lando introduced Frodo and Jar-Jar to his and his father’s ship:
“I’d like to personally introduce you to my pop’s ship: the Millennium Falcon!” announced Lando.
Frodo said, warily, “It sure doesn’t look like much.” Lindo hit his olive claw hand against one of the entrance/exit ramp pipes, causing it to light up. Frodo was impressed, “Okay. Now I’m curious.”
Lindo told the hobbit, as Frodo approached and Jar-Jar made his way inside, “It’s the finest nightclub in the galaxy. Would you mind taking a look?”
“Have you seen this kid?” asked a Naboo soldier, holding up a wanted poster.
Lando was alarmed. “Pops, does he mean me?”
“No, of course not. I’ve already found you,” said Lindo, glowing.
The Naboo soldier pointed. “Hey!”
“On second thought, time to go!” said Lindo, as Frodo and Lando climbed aboard the ship. Lindo followed after them, and sneaking aboard last was the boy Ian.
Frodo did not know what he did, but he certainly did not want to be brought back to Sauron. As soon as the entrance/exit ramp closed, the Naboo soldiers gathering around the Millennium Falcon. Lindo readied the ship for flight. As the ship took off into the air, Lindo’s voice sounded from the ship’s speakers:
“I’m terribly sorry about all of this. Should you happen to find a good smuggler, talk to Lindo Calrissian and son. We’d be happy to assist you,” said Lindo in his smooth-talking business voice.
The ship flew out of the docking bay and into space. All that was left, from this disappearance, was a star making a bell sound.
End of Episode 3
Chapter 10: Ep4 P1: The Millennium Falcon
The Narrator from LEGO Star Wars spoke to the camera in his loud, booming voice. As he spoke, the opening text crawled its way across space:
Travel to Coruscant
Frodo Baggins has gained transport
aboard Lindo Calrissian’s ship: the
MILLENNIUM FALCON. This act will
take Frodo to the planet Coruscant,
where he hopes that the Senate will hear
his plea for help against Sauron.
Meanwhile, in Mordor, the dreaded Dark
Lord Sauron is concocting his scheme to
create a son that looks like Frodo. This
Hobbit will spell doom upon our heroes,
who desperately search for a way to thwart
his evil plans…
The opening crawl faded away and the camera zoomed down to Middle-earth, straight into the heart of Mordor. There, the camera turned across the barren landscape, just as a Mordor Orc crashed into the camera, falling backwards onto the rocky ground. The camera zoomed inside Barad-dûr, where Sauron spilled molten liquid carefully into a couple of molds, laid out inside his welding chamber.
Cackling, Sauron announced in full wickedness, “With this concoction complete, I will have my new son. Though he may be a Hobbit, he will be a perfect match against Frodo Baggins, the Ring-bearer that took my Ring of Power!” Putting his liquid welding mug in its place, Sauron thought for a moment, before admitting, “Now all this needs is a little magic.”
Turning to the molds, Sauron cast at them to dry off the molds a lot faster. As he did, he was able to create the plastic pieces and put them together, including the hair piece on top of the newly-created hobbit’s head. As the newborn adult hobbit came to life, Sauron put some LEGO black robes over the hobbit. Like all hobbits, this hobbit had no shoes, but did it really matter to Sauron? Of course not!
Sauron admitted, once the hobbit was awake, “There! You’re fit to travel. But you need a new name, something that strikes fear into people’s hearts!” Sauron thought for a moment. He was amazed how alike this hobbit was to Frodo Baggins. Then he announced, “I know! We’ll call you Fodo Braggart! You’ll be Frodo Baggins’ cousin. How does that sound?”
Surprisingly, Fodo Braggart sounded an awful lot like Frodo Baggins, “Am I Frodo Baggins’ cousin?”
Sauron slapped a hand to his forehead. This one needed some work. “Either way, you’re his evil twin.”
“I like the sound of that,” said Fodo, a sinister look on his face. “I’ll fight for you, Sauron, Lord of Darkness.”
“Yes, yes, yes. That’s all right. Now, track Frodo Baggins down. He will look just like you,” said Sauron.
“I’m on my way! I’m on-” Fodo crashed into a wall, collapsing on the floor with his legs stretched.
Desperate to get rid of this idiotic hobbit, Sauron picked up Fodo and said, “I’ve about had enough of you. Now, get moving!” He shoved Fodo down the stairs.
Fodo glared at Sauron, but then proceeded before the Dark Lord of Mordor could chase after him. Approaching a balcony, Sauron made his announcement about Fodo Braggart, “Attention everyone: Fodo Braggart is going to bring Frodo Baggins back! He may look like Frodo Baggins, but I can assure you he is not. Now don’t be alarmed: Fodo has more cunning than any worthless hobbit. Yes, I know he’s a hobbit, but still…”
“Does this mean we can eat him?” asked one Mordor Orc.
“Out of the question. Now get back to work!” said Sauron, retreating back inside his tower.
Fodo Braggart, while seeing the hungry looks on the Mordor Orcs’ faces, climbed into a ship and flew away. His search for Frodo Baggins had only just begun. At least he was equipped with a sword, should there be conflict between him and the Ring-bearer.
Meanwhile, in Space…
On their way to Coruscant, the crew and passengers aboard the Millennium Falcon had themselves a little nightclub party. Frodo was dancing to the music, which sounded like 1970s disco music and saying the mantra: “Boogie! It’s time to boogie! Yeah!” Jar-Jar, meanwhile, slurped up some food and drinks with his tongue.
Lindo commented on Frodo’s dancing, “My, my, little man. You sure know how to party!”
“As long as I’m away from Sauron, I have no trouble dancing. This is really jiggy music,” said Frodo, getting into the music on the lit dance floor.
“Well, there’s more to it than just the dance floor,” said Lando, hitting a switch that moved down the disco ball.
Frodo felt keener on dancing now. He was having so much fun that he did not want to stop. For once he could forget about Sauron and just enjoy life. This family sure knew how to live and that was all that mattered.
Unfortunately, the moment would stop the second Lindo jumped the ship out of hyperspace. They had arrived at the planet Coruscant, Frodo and Jar-Jar’s journey was nearly complete.
Chapter 11: Ep4 P2: Ian the Orphan
Now this next character actually started out in the "LEGO Star Wars" cartoon "The Padawan Menace". He's a character familiar to us and his name is Ian. Hopefully from his personality, you'll be able to tell who he is.
Just as the Millennium Falcon left hyperspace, there was a loud crashing sound coming from one of the cargo holds. While everyone was confused, Frodo had a brilliant idea… well, it was an idea, maybe not his most brilliant one.
“What’s going on?” asked Lando, concerned.
“I’ll go and look,” said Frodo.
Frodo was stopped by Lindo, who informed him, “Hold up there, little man. You don’t know this ship that well. Lando can take you to right hold.”
“Follow me, little man,” said Lando, leading the way.
“Eh… hobbit, gentle-hobbit,” said Frodo, correcting him.
“Whatever,” said Lando, adding in a chipper voice, “Any name works for me.”
And so Frodo and Lando began their search for the strange noise. Frodo eventually tracked the noise down to a boy with brown hair, who fled the scene in due time. Using his wit and stealth, Frodo lunged at the boy and caught his foot, forcing the boy to fall face-first on the floor, his hair popping out and rolling into the main hold. The boy darted after his hair, found it and popped it back in, just as Lando advanced on the boy.
Lando, suspicious, asked the boy, “What do you think you’re doin’, smuggling onto my pop’s ship?” Lando caught the boy’s name tag, “Ian.”
The boy talked to Lando in a smooth voice, “Oh, my name’s not Ian, its Han. Han Solo. I dropped in for a lift.”
“You’re the boy those soldiers were looking for,” accused Frodo, charging towards the boy. “You have some explaining to do.”
“Yeah, whatever short man,” said Han, just as he and Lando snickered.
Frodo eyed the two suspiciously, not sure what they were going on about. Lando, fortunately, told Han about the hobbit, “It’s all right, Han. Frodo’s with us. Frodo Baggins is his name.”
“I’ve heard of him.” Han turned to Frodo, “So, you’re hiding from Sauron now, ain’t you little guy?”
Frodo sighed, “Yes, I’m running from Sauron.” He added, a little offended, “We’re the same height, you know.”
“Good luck with that,” said Han, cocky.
“But I’m heading for Coruscant with Jar-Jar Binks, the Gungan I met on Naboo,” said Frodo.
Han said, calmer, “I’m heading there, too; got to meet this Yoda at the Jedi Temple.”
“That’s on the way. Once my pop’s and I drop Frodo and Jar-Jar off at the Senate Tower, we’ll take you there direct,” said Lando.
“I’d appreciate that,” said Han. “So, shall we?” He gestured forward with a pale claw hand. At that, Frodo went first back to the cockpit, with Lando and Han following after them.
The ship continued on its way to the planet’s surface. Frodo was almost at his destination.
Meanwhile, Back in Middle-earth…
Rivendell, the hidden valley of the Elves, was serene and peaceful. Lord Elrond Half-elven had just returned from his journey to Minas Tirith.
Glorfindel was sitting on one of the balconies reading the latest of his magazine, titled Rivendell: Hoax or Just Hiding? Lindir played a tune or two on his harp, behaving especially dramatic at the music. Still Glorfindel ignored him. Lindir did his best to play louder on his harp, but found the harp was too soft and not the loudness he expected.
Elrond entered one of the balconies, to find Lindir trying to get Glorfindel’s attention. Eventually, one of the strings on Lindir’s harp broke, making him cry out in agony. Elrond shook his head, raising an eyebrow at Lindir’s behavior.
Elrond announced to both elves, “And so it must be that Arwen is wed to Aragorn.”
“We know,” said Glorfindel and Lindir at the same time.
“Your daughter stole my scene and my glory, and the Ring-bearer’s glory!” cried Glorfindel in frustration, slamming his magazine on the stone floor.
“Arwen is far away from your complaints,” said Elrond, keeping his cool.
Glorfindel flicked his gold hair, in a manner of showing off. He knew he was the best. Just then, Glorfindel heard giggles and girlish laughter outside the balcony. Peering down, Glorfindel saw his fangirls cheering him on. Glorfindel showed off even more by flicking his hair many different times. The fangirls were impressed.
Lindir shook his head at Glorfindel. He wasn’t impressed with Glorfindel’s antics. “A musician cannot compete with your glorification.”
Glorfindel gave a wide smile at the Elf musician. The fangirls cheered him on as Glorfindel performed stunts on the balcony. However, one stunt ended up with Glorfindel crashing on his… well, his important parts. He in turn ended up falling on the balcony floor, clutching himself. Elrond placed a hand on his forehead, not bearing to watch Glorfindel make a fool out of himself in front of his fangirls again.
Lindir choose to play more tunes on his harp, only another string broke on his harp. Showing a guilty smile, Lindir placed the harp behind his back, as Elrond assessed in getting Glorfindel to his room for healing. Lindir, in the meantime, whistled as he slunk away from the balcony, rushing off in search of a harp tuner, or else he would have to build a new harp.
A commercial of rousing proportions takes us back to Venice. Ah! Glorious Venice…
Oh sorry. Let’s get back to the plot…
Glorfindel was out of his wits, humming tunes that did not make much sense. Half the time, Glorfindel gave awkward smiles, commenting on the potted LEGO flowers that were about the halls of the Last Homely House. He eventually moved away from Elrond, heading straight for one of the flower pots.
Elrond told Glorfindel, serious, “The reign of Sauron has ended and you are making a fool out of yourself.”
Glorfindel picked up a flower pot, only to find it collapse into several tiny LEGO pieces. Each LEGO piece disappeared in a white light as soon as it crashed on the stone floor. Glorfindel looked at his pale clawed hands in confusion. Didn’t he just hold a LEGO flower pot a second ago? His gaze fell on Elrond, who shook his head in dismay.
Elrond addressed him, narrowing his eyes, “You call yourself the Balrog-slayer. Prove that you are one. Stop trying to save yourself by impressing those fangirls.”
Glorfindel flicked a lock of gold hair behind his shoulder. The gold tendril returned to its first position, forcing Glorfindel to flick his hair several times. Giving up, he admitted to Elrond, a candor glint in his eyes, “Girls love me. They respect me, unlike your daughter Arwen.”
“She was not aware of what she was doing,” said Elrond, defending his daughter. “You’d do well to learn your place.”
“My place and my glory were taken from me by Arwen. Master Baggins knows this. He was affected by her glory, too,” said Glorfindel, “cast out of the lead role like a dog.”
“And yet, Frodo Baggins is more worthy than you,” said Elrond. “Now clean up this mess.” He kicked the remaining LEGO pieces that once belonged to the flower pot to Glorfindel.
Still frustrated, but figuring it unwise to talk back further against Lord Elrond’s wishes, Glorfindel grabbed a broom. Pacing himself, Glorfindel swept the floor, doing his best to make sure every grain of LEGO bricks were put in the LEGO recycling box. The LEGO recycling box helped keep broken LEGO bricks sorted, so that way they could be reused or remade for bigger, grander projects… or little, tiny projects, whichever was essential. Once Glorfindel was done with his chore, flicking his hair back gallantly, he searched the Last Homely House for more Dorwinion wine, just to celebrate for his progress in attempting to usurp Arwen’s glory ride.
Meanwhile, on Coruscant…
Coruscant was a vast city planet, and very busy.
Entering the cockpit, Frodo was able to see a very elegant, very grand building with several open docking bays. This was where Lindo landed the Millennium Falcon. Han was impressed at the ship’s mechanisms and other utilities.
“Whoa! This ship I might just take someday,” said Han.
“Don’t count on it,” said Lando. “This ship belongs to my Pops.”
Han said, sheepish, “Well, I didn’t mean right now. I meant…” He coughed, clearing his throat on purpose, “after we’re done.”
Lando glared at him suspiciously. Something was definitely up with Han.
Frodo changed the subject. “Well, I should get going.”
“I’m heading that way, too,” said Han.
Jar-Jar stormed into the cockpit, flaying his arms. “Meesa saw a strange beast.”
“That’s just my puffer pig. Don’t scare him,” said Lindo.
“Come on, Jar-Jar. It’s time to go find Tauriel,” said Frodo, heading down the hallway. The moment he reached the exit ramp, Lindo opened it for him and Jar-Jar. Frodo stopped upon Han speeding past him. Shrugging his shoulders, Frodo climbed down the exit ramp, careful not to trip or skid on the metal ramp.
Once Frodo was off the ship, Lindo and Lando waved to them. Lindo told his son, “Lando, prep the ship for takeoff.”
“You’ve got it, Papa Bear,” said Lando, heading back inside.
Lindo closed the exit ramp. When the ship was ready for lift off, Lindo told Frodo and Jar-Jar from the microphone, “Good luck, guys. Hope it goes well for you with the Senate. May the funk be with you!” He drove the Millennium Falcon out of the docking bay, taking flight back into space.
“Well, that was fun,” admitted Frodo, pleased.
Jar-Jar gazed at him, calmness reflected on his face. “Meesa thinks so, too, Frodo.”
Han ran for cover inside a box, ready to be shipped in a smuggler’s vehicle.
“Frodo! Frodo!” called Tauriel, waving the hobbit over.
“Come on, Jar-Jar,” said Frodo, charging towards Tauriel. The moment he approached her, Frodo cried out in excitement, “Tauriel, I wondered whether I might see you again! You have no idea what I just went through. It was totally awesome*.”
“That’s good to know. Shall we go in?” asked Tauriel, gesturing to a very wide hall.
The ominous structure of the hall, and its looming shadow struck Frodo to the core. He was reminded of Sauron and the Ring… no, he shouldn’t think these things. But then, what if Sauron was in the Senate Tower, waiting for him? Cautious, Frodo nodded silently to Tauriel.
Laughing, Tauriel spoke in a chipper voice, “Oh Frodo, you’ll love it here. It’s quite fascinating…” and so she led Frodo and Jar-Jar inside the Senate Tower, with a few stories to tell. She hoped Frodo would have some peace of mind. But then, who knew what awaited them when they arrived in Chancellor Palpatine’s office. Either way, she was prepared for anything. And that’s what really mattered.
End of Episode 4
*The phrase "totally awesome" came from the "LEGO Star Wars" cartoons.
Chapter 13: Ep5 P1: Enter the Chancellor
The opening crawl reeled back into space, revealing itself to the camera. The Narrator, in his loud, booming voice, from the LEGO Star Wars television show and movies, reads the text and explains the scenario for the next episode:
The Senate of the Republic
At that, everything stopped, causing the camera to reel back on various dialogue scenes, jumbled together:
"I got you!" cried Gollum, victorious.
"Legolas of the Woodland Realm: his name is translated to Greenleaf…” said the Narrator, as Legolas made physical feats without an issue.
"You are NOT my father!" cried Frodo, beside himself in terror and knowing.
Too late. Frodo and Tauriel grabbed a large metal shingle and slid down the tower of Barad-dûr.
"This is too loud!" screamed Frodo, complaining and hoping he was heard.
“The name's Lindo. Lindo Calrissian,” said Lindo, smooth-talking the hobbit.
"Yes, my lord Gimli!" The other Gimlis knocked the real LEGO Gimli out of the way, forcing Gimli to land in mud.
The boy talked to Lando in a smooth voice, "Oh, my name's not Ian, its Han. Han Solo. I dropped in for a lift."
Lindo told Frodo and Jar-Jar, “May the funk be with you!" He drove the Millennium Falcon out of the docking bay, taking flight back into space.
The camera reeled back to the text in space. The Narrator continued his mantra in his loud, booming voice:
I have no idea what just happened.
Getting back on track: Fodo Braggart,
FRODO BAGGINS’ evil twin, who the Dark
Lord SAURON crafted and built out of LEGO
bricks, heads for Coruscant. Armed with only
his wit and his candor, Fodo may be the one
to bring Frodo back to Sauron in one piece.
Little does Frodo know of this sinister plan,
as he prepares to face Chancellor Palpatine at
his office, hoping to thwart Sauron’s plan for a
good measure of time. But what awaits Frodo at
the Senate Tower may prove a more difficult feat
for our little hero…
The text crawl vanished with the Narrator falling silent. The camera craned down on the planet Coruscant’s city surface. The camera inched closer to a sign that said the Senate is NOT BORING for that day. The camera faded in to the inside of Chancellor Palpatine’s grand office, where the sinister Sith Lord spoke by holocall to none other than Sauron himself, who was very close to transitioning to physical form. As it happened, Chancellor Palpatine wore a black Sith robe with the hood covering his face, making him more sinister by the second.
“My physical form is returning, Lord Chancellor Palpatine,” said Sauron from the holodevice.
“Excellent. Let me know when you are fully complete. In the meantime, the Jedi will have no idea of your presence here,” said Chancellor Palpatine.
“Exactly my point. And my apprentice, Fodo Braggart, will come for the Halfling Frodo Baggins. Frodo will return to Barad-dûr, here in Mordor, to be trained and be my son,” said Sauron.
Chancellor Palpatine raised an eyebrow in confusion. “How is Frodo Baggins your son?”
Sauron yelled at the Chancellor, “Listen you ingrate! You may be the Sith Lord of your galaxy, but you are no match for me! Now make sure that Frodo Baggins doesn’t know our plans, and get Baggins back here as soon as possible! Understand!”
Chancellor Palpatine’s head changed into his Emperor Palpatine face, “And who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do, Sauron? You may be lord of your wretched land-” Wait – this land of Sauron’s might be better than he thought. “…well, Mordor isn’t a bad place to live, actually. Reminds me of Korriban.”
“What was that?” asked Sauron, confused and boiling in fury.
“Oh nothing,” said Chancellor Palpatine, already concocting a plan of his own to take over Mordor, right from Sauron’s grasp.
Meanwhile, Back in Middle-earth…
Legolas’ white steed galloped swift and gallant towards the hidden valley of Imladris. He was near safety. Nothing could stop him from reaching his destination. Except…
“There he is!” screamed one giggling fangirl.
“Ah!” yelped Legolas. He turned the corner and crossed the narrow stone bridge. At last, he made it to Rivendell and was near Lord Elrond’s house.
Elrond greeted the Wood-Elf Prince with excitement, “Welcome Legolas, son of Thranduil. What brings you to my realm?”
Legolas leapt off his horse. He started, “Well…” He sighed in defeat. Even he couldn’t stop what was coming towards them.
The fangirls gathered in a half circle before Elrond and Legolas. Glorfindel let out a cackle. Finally, he wasn’t the only one chased by fangirls. However, the number of fangirls kept multiplying. Okay, Glorfindel had to admit the odds of his fangirls versus Legolas’ fangirls were ridiculously unfair. Realizing what Elrond told him, Glorfindel shook his head. Maybe he shouldn’t have said those things about Frodo Baggins, the Ring-bearer, after all. He returned to his sweeping the disused LEGO bricks shortly afterwards.
Elrond, unlike Thranduil, knew exactly what to do and gestured with his hands for silence. When he had a chance to speak, even though the fangirls were still giggling, Elrond told them, “I don’t know what Thranduil told you, but I will not tolerate fangirls here.”
The fangirls sighed in defeat.
Elrond told Legolas, politely, “You may stay in my house for as long as you need.”
“Thank you, Lord Elrond,” said Legolas, bowing before him.
Elrond told the fangirls, “Now please leave this valley and do not return. There will be no lollygagging as long as I am Lord of Imladris.”
The fangirls, feeling more defeated, went their separate ways. However, as they departed out of Rivendell, the LEGO Gimlis arrived, ready to begin battle against the fangirls. Elrond, Legolas and Glorfindel raised their eyebrows in confusion. At last the real LEGO Gimli arrived, huffing and puffing, but also reaching the front of the crowd.
The real Gimli told the Elves, “I’m here! I’m here at last! Now where are those fangirls?”
“Elrond called them off, Gimli, but do come in with your – army, that is if Lord Elrond chooses,” said Legolas, hoping Elrond would allow Gimli passage.
Elrond shook his head. “I will allow Gimli inside, the real Gimli. The other Gimlis can wait outside until they are called. We have some explaining to do, Master Dwarf.”
“Thank you, Lord Elrond. It is an honor to be here once again,” said Gimli, charging up the stairs of the Last Homely House after his friend Legolas.
The other Gimlis, not knowing what to do, spread out throughout Imladris. They even made an effort to chase some fangirls away, who did not like these other Gimlis one bit. In a way, the other Gimlis were glad to have charged in to Rivendell when they did, but they still wondered what Elrond was going to say and learn from Legolas and Gimli, who had a few stories of their own to tell.
True, Frodo was impressed with the elegant, drum-shaped roof of the Senate Building, the Republic’s Executive Building on the outside was like a giant dome. Yes, the building had its elegance and was grand, but as Frodo explored more of the annex, he found it more of something that had order and elegance combined. Either way, Frodo wasn’t one to judge, even with architecture. This wasn’t the Dwarves’ work, this was… well, he didn’t really know. It was just something meant for a technological city, such as this.
And yet, the structure was in gray and the carpet was red. Was it a bit odd? Well…
“Here we are,” said Tauriel, pointing to an express turbo-lift.
“Huh?” asked Frodo, snapping out of his reverie. “Oh.” He charged towards Tauriel and Jar-Jar, stunning the Gungan.
Once everyone was inside, Tauriel pressed the button, causing the automatic door to close behind them. Frodo felt the floor move upwards, making him panic for a few moments. He didn’t know what was happening and wasn’t sure whether he should do anything to stop it. At last the turbo-lift stopped and the door slid open once again, but opened to an airlock.
“Meesa follow me,” said Jar-Jar, taking the lead.
Frodo and Tauriel gazed at one another. Not knowing what else to do, they shrugged and followed after Jar-Jar into the airlock. However, when they entered the airlock, the three were inspected by security equipment. Frodo did his best to keep the security equipment off of him. It felt a little too private for him; however, the security equipment was… falling in love with him? Now this was bizarre.
Tauriel spoke into the security camera, “Excuse me, but we have come to see Chancellor Palpatine. My name is Tauriel, this is Jar-Jar Binks,” she gestured to Jar-Jar, who waved at the security camera, “and he’s Frodo Baggins…” she stopped as Frodo fought against the security equipment. Tauriel glared at Frodo, getting his attention right then and there, “Ahem!”
Frodo was stunned. However, the security equipment pulled away from him, before tapping his curly brown hair. Frodo straightened his LEGO hair piece. The security equipment returned to its first position.
The airlock door before them opened up, revealing a red-carpeted reception area with benches and a reception desk.
Tauriel told her friends, “Come on.”
Doing his best to keep the security’s airlock equipment off of him, Frodo scurried after Tauriel and Jar-Jar. Behind the reception desk was a green-skinned alien humanoid with a tapir-like snout and a pair of saucer-shape antennae on his head*. Approaching the reception desk, Frodo felt intimidated by the alien creature.
However, Tauriel was the first to speak to the alien, “Excuse me, Mr. Rodian.”
“So that’s who he is,” murmured Frodo, understanding what the alien was called.
“Hello?” asked Tauriel to the Rodian.
The Rodian put down his magazine, which had on the front the Senate Annex and the front cover title that said in bold: Republic Executive Building: New Renovations! His gaze fell on the strange group, in which Frodo stood a few feet away from the reception desk.
The green-skinned Rodian corrected Tauriel, “I am Dar Wac, aide to Chancellor Palpatine. I’ve already told you, the Chancellor is in the middle of a meeting. You and your friends will have to wait until he is through.”
“Then Meesa will wait,” said Jar-Jar.
Tauriel and Frodo agreed. “Yes.”
All Tauriel could say to Dar Wac, knowing the conversation was at an end, was, “Thank you.” She showed Frodo to the benches, “Over here, Frodo.”
“Oh,” said Frodo, returning to the present. Joining Tauriel, Frodo sat next to her. He was a little surprised that Jar-Jar sat next to him, making Frodo stuck in the middle of the his two tall friends. Frodo soon found himself thinking about the Ring, Gollum, and… no, the memory was too painful. He shook himself out of his own reverie, but Tauriel stared at him with a concerned gaze. What did he do now? Maybe it was best to leave matters where they lay.
Meanwhile, back in Rivendell…
In the Hall of Fire, while he and the others feasted, Legolas told his story:
“And then my father Thranduil did nothing about the fangirls. I was chased from the Woodland Realm to Rohan to here. I am not sure what their business is with me, or what the other Gimlis were trying to do, but it looks as if we are fallen to ruin due to the fangirls’ invasion on our lands,” said Legolas, making his point firm.
Gimli answered, after chopping down on a LEGO chicken leg, “Legolas, my friend, my Elven Princeling friend, my greatest friend I have ever had…”
Elrond coughed, in an effort to help Gimli reach his point.
“Oh,” said Gimli, understanding. He turned to Legolas again. “Legolas, we will resolve this fangirl mess. But we need to contact our hobbit friends for assistance.”
“Gimli, the hobbits may have fangirls, with Frodo and Pippin having the most for them, but we can’t contact him right now, due to Frodo’s injuries and what the journey did to him.” Legolas suggested, “So we must speak to Aragorn, or should I call him King Elessar, or is his name Trotter? Or Strider, or…”
Elrond raised his voice: “Legolas!”
Legolas jumped in surprise. Calming down, he said, “We’ll contact Aragorn.”
Elrond nodded. “I agree, but Aragorn is busy restoring the Reunited Kingdom.”
Gimli shook his head. “Aragorn will have time for us. I’m sure of it.”
Legolas said, a light bulb blinking on above his head, “Let’s go see him now.” He zoomed out of the Hall of Fire.
Elrond asked, out of concern, “Yes, but whose going to take care of the fangirls and the Gimlis.” It wasn’t a question, but a matter-of-fact statement.
Gimli said, gesturing to Glorfindel, “Glorfindel can keep an eye on the fangirls. I’ll look after the Gimlis.”
Glorfindel cracked a daring, wide grin. “It will be done.” He zipped out of the hall in a puff of grey smoke.
Elrond coughed due to Glorfindel’s smoke. Gimli swiped the air with his pale clawed hand, in an effort to evaporate the smoke. Even though they were in smoke cover, Elrond raised an eyebrow at Gimli. Not knowing what to do, Gimli shrugged. Elrond slapped a pale clawed hand to his forehead, shaking his head in an effort of hope that the madness would cease. He knew somehow it wouldn’t stop, but where this madness would end was all he wondered at the time.
*The information on the Rodian alien species can be found on the Star Wars Wiki, Wookieepedia.
Chapter 15: Ep5 P3: A Meeting with Palpatine
And now we’ve come to a commercial about the friendly Koala. Isn’t he lovely?
Sorry. Let’s get back to the action…
Legolas reached his steed in no time. In slow motion, Legolas glided through the air, landing on his white horse in a graceful, gallant effort. Several fangirls, including Glorfindel’s fangirls, went googly-eyed due to Legolas’ slow, fluid movements.
“Huh?” asked Legolas, terrified by the fangirls as they approached, their eyes replaced with pairs of red hearts. “Eh… bye.” He commanded his horse, “Ride Arod!”
Arod neighed, rearing up in the air. Then in one great stride, Arod dashed out of Rivendell, galloping with all his might. Behind Legolas and his steed were the fangirls, who charged his way. Glorfindel was amazed and disgusted that his fangirls had mysteriously vanished. Then he knew.
Aggravated, Glorfindel shouted at Legolas, “Show stealer!”
Gimli charged out of the Last Homely House. Good, the Gimlis were still there, but then so was Glorfindel. But where were the fangirls? And why was Glorfindel standing around?
“Glorfindel, aren’t you supposed to be minding the fangirls?” asked Gimli.
Glorfindel sneered, “Tell that to your friend.”
“Oh,” said Gimli, stunned.
Glorfindel shook his head. “What are you waiting for? Unite your Gimlis and send them Legolas’ way. Maybe they’ll stop him from stealing the show.”
“Right,” said Gimli, but thinking better to find the fangirls. Calling to the other Gimlis, Gimli ordered them, “Gimlis, find those fangirls and bring them back!”
“Yes, mi lord,” said the other Gimlis. They regrouped in a large battalion and filed out of Rivendell.
Gimli, stunned that the other Gimlis left without him, called, “Wait for me! Wait, Other Gimlis!” He charged after them, double-axe in hand.
Meanwhile, on Coruscant…
Frodo rested his pale clawed hands on the underside of his chin. How long was he supposed to wait before he could announce his issue with Chancellor Palpatine? Tauriel said the Chancellor could assist him. He was good at that, right?
Eventually, Dar Wac told the three, “The Chancellor may see you now.” He pointed to the door behind him. “Through here.”
“Thank you,” said Tauriel. She said, gesturing forward, “Come on, Frodo.”
And so Frodo and Jar-Jar followed Tauriel past the blast-proof doors. The three entered the Chancellor’s Ceremonial Office, which was against complete with red carpet and grey metal walls. Frodo was finding this whole arrangement of the walls and ceiling a bit odd, yet he said nothing as he charged after Tauriel and Jar-Jar. After crossing the short passage, the three approached Chancellor Palpatine’s desk. Chancellor Palpatine wore black robes, but his hood was down which revealed a man heading into his elderly years. His hair piece was blonde, but that did not stop the Chancellor from eyeing Frodo suspiciously and menacingly.
“Dar Wac, my receptionist, told me you’d be here,” said Chancellor Palpatine. He didn’t stop staring at Frodo. “And this must be Frodo Baggins. He’s a bit short for a miniature Halfling.”
“Minature?” asked Frodo, about ready to defend his kin.
Tauriel stopped him. She murmured to Frodo, “Get to the point of why you’re here.”
Frodo nodded. Returning his gaze to the Chancellor, Frodo explained the situation: “Chancellor Palpatine, I came here because there’s an emergency in Middle-earth. Sauron is back and he kidnapped me. Then he said I was his son, which I’m not. I escaped Mordor, with help from Tauriel, but now I need to warn everyone of Sauron’s return. He must be stopped.”
Chancellor Palpatine, already going along with Sauron’s plan, said instead, playing along and acting innocent, “Well, that’s terrible. Oh well. I’m sure something else will turn up.”
Frodo was in disbelief. “What? Chancellor Palpatine, Sauron is a threat!”
“And you are just a short guy carrying a plastic knife,” said Chancellor Palpatine. He shooed them away. “Yes. Now please move along.”
“Chancellor,” said Frodo, pleading, “we need your help. Sauron is a threat, not only to those in Middle-earth but everywhere. You have to understand…”
“There is nothing I can do about it. He’s your problem. You should have settled your issues with him in Mordor. Now please, move along. I have other appointments to attend to, which does not concern your problem,” said Chancellor, shooing them off again.
Taking the hint, before Frodo made another outburst, Tauriel said last, “Thank you for your time, Chancellor Palpatine.”
Chancellor Palpatine said, cheerful, “Have a good day! Be sure to send my regards to Mordor and Sauron!”
As Frodo walked back to the blast-proof doors, he was suspicious of the Chancellor. Chancellor Palpatine was acting strange. Something about him was definitely off. The moment Frodo, Tauriel and Jar-Jar were back outside the turbo-lift and away from the Chancellor’s Suite, Frodo told his friends, “I have to get word out that Sauron is back.”
Tauriel was stunned. “How? You heard the Chancellor…”
Frodo responded fast, “No, didn’t you see the way he responded to our questions, how quick he was to send us away.”
“Frodo, that could mean anything,” said Tauriel. “If we don’t get our answer here, we go somewhere else.”
“Is there a place where everyone gathers on this world?” asked Frodo.
“Yes, the Senate Building.” Then Tauriel understood. “Frodo, you’re not planning on…”
“I have to get the word out that Sauron is back, and if the Chancellor refuses to help us, then maybe others will hear our call,” said Frodo.
“Frodo, are you sure about this?” asked Tauriel.
“Tauriel,” said Frodo. He murmured. “I think Sauron and the Chancellor are working together.”
“You have no proof,” said Tauriel.
“Did that stop you from finding me?” asked Frodo.
“No.” Tauriel heaved a sighed. “Fine. We’ll head for the Senate Building. I just hope you know what to say, once we get there.”
“I hope so,” said Frodo. True, he was shy and didn’t often like crowds. This was important, but would he be able to speak his mind before everyone? What was he to expect once he stepped inside the Senate Building? He hardly knew.
End of Episode 5
Chapter 16: Ep6 P1: The Senate Building
The Narrator, once again from LEGO Star Wars, spoke in his loud, booming voice as the opening text crawled backwards into space:
Into the Senate Building
Frodo Baggins has failed to convince
CHANCELLOR PALPATINE the Dark Lord
Sauron is back, threatening anything that moves.
Frodo now has one last resort: convince the Senate
of Sauron’s wickedness. But Frodo is running out
of options, and the task ahead will not be easy.
In Middle-earth, the Wood-elf Prince Legolas
heads for Minas Tirith, the White City of Gondor.
There, in his desperate effort to stop the fangirls,
Legolas hopes to speak to Aragorn, now the current
King of Gondor. But the fangirls are not far behind,
as is Gimli’s army of Gimlis in hot pursuit of the
fangirls and Legolas.
The opening crawl faded, as the camera craned down to Middle-earth. The camera zoomed in to the massive overlook, with the Citadel of Minas Tirith serving as a backdrop, for now. On the overlook was Aragorn, who was drinking from a LEGO clear glass, under an umbrella with blue and white stripes on the top. Arwen approached her husband with another drink. Aragorn swiped the drink from Arwen’s silver tray, downing it in haste.
Aragorn said, pleased with his handiwork, “Thank you, Lady Arwen.”
Arwen giggled. “If there’s anything else you need, dear.”
“Yes, I…” Aragorn’s voice was cut off by a mysterious beeping sound. At first, he shrugged, thinking the beeping sound would go away. He jumped out of his pool recliner chair when the beeping became more frequent.
Arwen asked him, concerned, “Shouldn’t you answer that?”
Aragorn was stunned. A bit frustrated, he said, “All right. Hold your horses.”
A horse neighed in the backdrop.
Shaking his head, Aragorn told his horse, “Not literally you, Brego!” Approaching a blue pay phone, Aragorn slotted his silver pennies, and spoke into the receiver, “Hullo! Uh huh… Uh huh. Yes. Okay, great. Thank you.” He hung up the phone.
Arwen asked him, “What was that about, honey?”
Aragorn shook his head a third time. “Legolas is on his way, along with Gimli’s army of Gimlis.”
Arwen couldn’t help but giggle. Gimli had an army of Gimlis, just like him? That was just too much… for a moment, she thought she could hear voices, but they were too faint. Approaching the overlook, Aragorn and Arwen saw ant-like figures on the plains of the Pelennor Fields. However, the figures were growing in size. Three battalions were made up of Dwarves and dozens upon dozens were a bunch of girls and women. Aragorn shook his head a fourth time, only this time in major disbelief.
“Not this fangirl matter again,” said Aragorn, disgusted.
Arwen looked on, surprised there weren’t any fanboys out there for her. She sighed a little too loudly, for Aragorn was staring in bewilderment at her.
Aragorn got her attention, but it was out of frustration, “Oh, come on Arwen! You have to do this now!” He swatted the air at no one, moving away from the overlook.
Arwen just stared, wondering what she did this time. She hoped it wasn’t Glorfindel’s fault yet again, but then… who knew.
Meanwhile, on Coruscant…
The Senate Building, unlike the Senate Executive Building, proved to be a massive and drum-shaped with a dome for a roof. From the looks of it, a couple of Senators were heading inside the entrance. Frodo, Tauriel and Jar-Jar poked their heads out from behind a statue. This was their moment to prove their worth, and Tauriel was up first for distraction.
Frodo whispered to Tauriel, “Okay Tauriel. You’re up.”
“Right,” whispered Tauriel back.
Moving past the statue, Tauriel glided towards the two security guards. The security guards stopped, their eyes taking shape into hearts at the sight of the Wood-elf. As Frodo and Jar-Jar moved past the security guards, the first guard got the second guard’s attention. Frodo gasped. He thought he could get away with this.
“Hey you! What are you doing here?” asked the first security guard, charging towards the hobbit and the Gungan.
Frodo tried to explain, but found himself at a loss for words. “Well I… I…”
Jar-Jar gave a good excuse, which turned out to be a really good reason. “Meesa is bringing my friends, Tauriel and Frodo, to the Senate Hall. Meesa is their guide. Tauriel has been here before, Meesa knows.”
“Oh,” said the second security guard.
The first security guard, still suspicious, told Jar-Jar and his two friends, “You may proceed. Just don’t cause mischief.”
“Meesa appreciates this,” said Jar-Jar, bowing a little low. He told Frodo and Tauriel, “Come on, my friends.”
Tauriel shook her head. As she followed her friends, she reminded Jar-Jar, “I could have gotten us in.”
Frodo shook his head as well. His plan failed. “I should have known sneaking around doesn’t work here.”
“Meesa don’t think so. Meesa thinks you will have another chance,” said Jar-Jar.
“How do you know?” asked Frodo, frowning.
“Meesa knows you, and meesa knows you will think of something grand to say to Senate,” said Jar-Jar.
“Hmm,” said Frodo, thinking deeply. Well, he hoped he would have something grand to say, but… oh, what would he say? This wasn’t his comfort zone. Still, he had to admire Jar-Jar for helping them enter the Senate Building.
Chapter 17: Ep6 P2: The Senate is in Session
The Grand Convocation Chamber, also called the Senate Chamber, proved to be the largest hall in the Senate Building, with several repulsorpods – floating balconies – where the Senators from all over the galaxy stayed. When they had the floor, the Senator from that repulsorpod gave his speech to all as the camera moved around them.
But for this day, Frodo followed Jar-Jar and Tauriel down the hallway, past the automatic door leading to the Naboo repulsorpod. Taking their seats, the three waited until the Chancellor’s podium rose. When Frodo saw Chancellor Palpatine, he glared at him. Before he could do anything, Tauriel pressed a hand against his chest, stopping him from moving.
“You’ll have your chance to speak to everyone soon,” said Tauriel.
Chancellor Palpatine finished his speech: “Representative Binks, you have the floor.”
Frodo was stunned. The Chancellor was giving them the floor? Was he dreaming or was he still caught in reality? Something was definitely up. Still, Jar-Jar pressed a button, allowing the repulsorpod to float down to the podium. A floating camera moved around the pod, filming every word spoke and every gesture.
Jar-Jar spoke to the Senators: “Meesa has brought my two new friends, but this Hobbit, Frodo Baggins, has something important to say.”
Chancellor Palpatine muttered to himself, in annoyance, “Oh marvelous.”
Jar-Jar returned to his seat, but not before showing Frodo the podium on the pod. Frodo, unsure what to do, and surprised that Jar-Jar pulled up a step ladder in front of the pod’s podium, climbed up the step ladder and spoke to the Senators. He was very nervous, but gathered his courage the more he spoke, “Senators of the Republic, I bring grave news: Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor, has returned and he’s threatening everyone.”
The Senators spoke out their complaints, but most were filled with disbelief.
Frodo continued, not wanting to be ignored, “You must hear me out! Sauron is dangerous. If he reaches this galaxy, there’ll be no stopping him from reaching other lands. We must do something.”
“Yes, yes,” said Chancellor Palpatine. “While that is all very interesting, Frodo Baggins, Sauron is in your land. There’s no way he could reach our galaxy.”
“You have said your peace. Now move along,” said Chancellor Palpatine, shooing the Naboo pod away. He turned to the next Senator, as Jar-Jar pressed a button to make the pod return to its balcony. “Senator Aak, you have the floor.”
As the Gran alien, donned with three multifaceted eyes, spoke to the Senate, Frodo was the first to step out of the repulsorpod and re-enter the curved corridor. He couldn’t believe he failed again. It just didn’t seem righ…
“Frodo Baggins, Sauron has come to collect you,” said a male hobbit that looked just like him, with the exception that this hobbit wore black robes.
Frodo asked, “And who are you?”
The male hobbit introduced himself, unsheathing his sword, “I am Fodo Braggart, and you are coming with me now.”
Meanwhile, at Minas Tirith, in Middle-earth…
Arriving in the Entrance Courtyard, on the First Level of Minas Tirith, Aragorn and Arwen greeted Legolas and Gimli, who ran inside. Dismounting from his white steed in an elegant manner, Legolas stunned himself when Arwen had hearts replacing her pupils. Was he worried? Indeed he was, but Aragorn gladly snapped Arwen out of her trance.
Returning his attention to Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn spoke to the two, “My friends, what news have you learned of Sauron?”
“Sauron?” asked Legolas and Gimli, staring at each other in confusion.
Legolas explained his situation, “Aragorn, we have fangirl issues.”
Gimli added, “And my army of Gimlis is ready to strike those silly fangirls where they…”
Aragorn interrupted, frustrated, “Yes, we all have fangirl issues, while Arwen has trouble with fanboys. But Sauron has returned and we must be prepared to strike him at his land: Mordor.”
Gimli asked, wary, “Eh… we’re going to attack Mordor… again?”
“I thought Sauron was vanquished during the War of the Ring?” asked Legolas, also confused and wary.
Aragorn nodded. “Yes, but now he’s back. Mount Doom burns, smoke is billowing in the air, and…”
Gimli snored, his eyes already closed. Legolas smacked him across the chest, waking Gimli up. Due to this, Aragorn figured he should get straight to the point:
“We must head to Mordor while we still have time,” said Aragorn.
“What about Frodo?” asked Gimli, concerned for their friend.
Aragorn shook his head. “There’s no time. Ready your armies. We’ll head for Mordor now.” He made his way towards his Gondorian soldiers.
Legolas and Gimli gazed at one another, a mixture of confusion and concern in their eyes. Was Aragorn going mad? They asked Aragorn in unison, “Eh… the fangirls, too?”
Aragorn returned his gaze to his friends, “Yes, including the fangirls.”
The elf and dwarf said, “Yes Aragorn.” They darted back to the Gate, unsure what awaited them. All the two friends knew was that they would have a lot of explaining to do when they faced their fangirls, or rather Legolas’ fangirls. Gimli huffed at the camera, unsure why the writer said what she said… oh well.
Chapter 18: Ep6 P3: Fodo Braggart
Yes, I am aware this chapter is sub-titled after my OMC or Original Male Character. Well, it works because he's going to appear in this chapter anyway. It's been a while since we saw him. So there.
After a little fight with the camera crew, Gimli moved his helmet in the right place before regrouping with Legolas, past the Gate of Minas Tirith. The doors closed behind them in creaking wood sounds. The elf and dwarf were left outside to the fangirls and Gimlis.
Collecting himself, Legolas cleared his throat. He moved gracefully in front of the crowd, making the fangirls swoon. Gimli grunted, shaking his head, in hopes that Legolas would send Aragorn’s message across and get this over with. Legolas began with the formalities:
“Lady fangirls and Gimlis, King Elessar has come up with a solution to all our problems: since we cannot get rid of the fangirls, we have agreed for the fangirls to join us in the fight against Sauron,” said Legolas.
The other Gimlis moaned and groaned their complaints. Some Gimlis spat at the ground, while others tussled their flaming-red beards around in angst. The fangirls were filled with mixtures of shock, excitement, disdain, and all around perkiness. The fangirls that had crushes on Legolas continued to swoon at the sight of him. One fangirl built a mini-moat around her out of brown LEGO bricks.
Legolas gladly ignored his fangirls, continuing his speech forthwith: “This mission is important. If we don’t defeat Sauron, at his base in Mordor, he’ll attack every living free peoples and creatures that walk amongst us.”
One fangirl snored. She was roused by her friend, but she ended up confused by the situation.
Legolas asked the armies of fangirls and Gimlis, “Whose with me?”
All the fangirls gasped. In one lunge, the fangirls crowded around Legolas, while some piled on top of him. Legolas broke free of the crowd of fangirls, leaping into the air and landing on the saddle of his white steed.
Shaking his head at the camera, Legolas commanded his horse, “Ride Arod, ride now into the sunset!”
Arod whinnied and galloped at full speed to the Fields of Cormallen.
Coming up with a plan, Legolas called to the fangirls, “This way to face your fate and your crush!”
The fangirls screamed and squealed, charging at Legolas in hot pursuit. However, the fangirls found themselves unable to keep up with Legolas’ horse. Arod stared at the camera, wondering why the writer still called him ‘white steed’ or ‘horse’.
Gimli, making a full stop, huffing and puffing in rapid procession, moved his helmet back in place. He told his army of Gimlis next, “After them, Gimlis!”
“Yes, my lord!” said the other Gimlis in unison, charging forward and ramming into Gimli. This led into a domino effect on all the Gimlis, leaving them in confusion.
Gimli shook himself off, caught in a daze for a moment or two.
Approaching the real Gimli, Aragorn told him, “That was a disaster, Gimli. Do you not know how to lead an army?”
Gimli stood up. Brushing himself off, Gimli admitted to Aragorn, gruffly, “Yes, I do know how to lead an army, Aragorn. Watch!” He told the Other Gimlis, “Gimlis, charge after those fangirls, but go around me and my friends.”
“Yes, Lord Gimli!” said the Other Gimlis, making a beeline curve around Gimli, Aragorn and Arwen.
Faramir addressed Aragorn, “Lord Aragorn, your army is ready to march.”
Aragorn faced him. “We make our way to Mordor today.”
Meanwhile, in the Senate Building on Coruscant…
“You’re who?” Frodo asked in confusion.
Fodo repeated himself, already impatient with how slow things were going, “Fodo Braggart. Your evil twin.” He sighed, getting straight to the point, “You’re coming with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” said Frodo, “evil twin or not.”
Fodo considered this for a moment. He held a wicked grin, not wanting to break or anything, even though it was difficult. He ordered Frodo, “Unsheathe your weapon. I will not find an unarmed man… eh, hobbit.”
“Then you have a long wait,” said Frodo, “because I’m not fighting you.”
Fodo sighed. He hoped there would be no conflict. “Very well then. Let’s fight!” He leaped into the air in slow motion.
Due to the surprise attack, Frodo toppled over his feet, collapsing backwards on the floor. He pulled out his sword Sting fast, holding it up in front of him. Just as he did that, Fodo’s sword locked with his own, creating a sonic hum… wait, did they miss something?
Fodo moved his sword back, staring at the blade in shock. “Wait. Do swords hum?”
Frodo scrambled to his feet. He admitted, calmly, “No, but they sing.”
Fodo shrugged. “Oh well.” He lunged forward, clashing his blade against Sting. Fodo parried, jabbed, and swung overhead and underhand. Still, he matched Frodo’s moves, which Fodo thought was unfair. That was until Frodo stumbled over his feet and fell on the floor. Fodo had this moment to make the final blow. “Any last words, Frodo Baggins?”
“Drop your weapon,” said Tauriel, the arrow ready on her bow, pointed at Fodo.
Fodo tried again, but found his sword arm stayed where it was. He couldn’t do it. It hit him: Frodo was exactly like him! No… this couldn’t be. This couldn’t…
Fodo stepped back, dropping his sword and landing on his butt. He cowered before Frodo, who was helped off the floor by Tauriel and Jar-Jar. It was Frodo’s turn:
“Why were you hunting me? Why did you almost try to kill me?” Frodo demanded, keeping his voice even and soft.
Fodo whimpered, telling the truth in hopes of repentance, “Sauron wanted me to take you back to Mordor. He wants to make you his son. I… can’t kill you. I can’t.”
Tauriel whispered in Frodo’s ear, “He’s a traitor.”
Frodo murmured, “Yes, but he is telling the truth. He stayed his hand, when he could have killed me. He’s me.” He approached Fodo, extending a pale claw hand at the petrified hobbit. “You can trust me. I won’t harm you, as long as you don’t harm me.”
Although Fodo took his hand, he stuck a dart into Frodo’s side. Frodo collapsed on the floor, giving Fodo enough time to escape. Fodo sheathed his sword as he ran, not looking back at the scene.
Tauriel shouted at Fodo, “Coward!” She held onto Frodo’s arm, but it wasn’t enough.
Frodo went pale. He pulled the dart sharply from his body, the aftereffect of him shaking from head to toe. He felt sick.
Tauriel told Jar-Jar, “We must get help.”
A light bulb blinked above Jar-Jar’s head. “Meesa proposes we go to the Jedi Temple. It’s here on Coruscant.”
Tauriel said, concern mainly for Frodo, “Then take us there.”
Jar-Jar nodded in agreement. Frodo heaved deep breaths, but even his breath was rigid. Whatever the Jedi would do for him, he needed them. He…
Frodo’s vision darkened, drawing him further into unconsciousness.
End of Episode 6
Chapter 19: Ep7 P1: At the Jedi Temple
The Narrator from LEGO Star Wars cartoon television shows read the text of the opening crawl. The opening crawl slowly cranked backwards into space, big and bold enough so our readers could read the following text:
Healed by the Jedi
Frodo Baggins has been injured by Fodo
Braggart, the evil twin that Sauron, the Dark Lord
of Mordor created and built in his homeland. Now
on a desperate mission to find a way to heal Frodo,
the Wood-elf Tauriel and her companion Jar-Jar
Binks head for the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.
What Tauriel, Jar-Jar and Frodo are unaware,
back on Middle-earth, Aragorn and his forces,
along with Legolas and the fangirls, and Gimli and
his army of Gimlis, marches to the rebuilt Gate of
Mordor. In this effort, Aragorn and his host hope to
stop Sauron’s evil plot from transpiring.
Unknown to the Free Peoples of Middle-earth,
Sauron concocts a new plan: creating replicas of
Frodo Baggins, more sinister than the first replica he
made. Should Sauron succeed and the replicas work,
they will spell doom upon Middle-earth and other
universes loyal to the Free Peoples…
The opening crawl faded and the camera craned down to the world Middle-earth. In a swift zoom, the camera stopped mid-way before the Mouth of Sauron, still alive but with a deep cut wound wrapped around his neck. The Mouth of Sauron cackled for a few moments, until Sauron walked out onto the balcony of Barad-dûr.
Sauron said, calling to his servant, “Get in here!”
The Mouth of Sauron stopped cackling, looked about him and, unsure what else to do or why he was standing out in the middle of the balcony, returned inside the tower. To his amazement, the Mouth of Sauron saw Sauron’s advanced technology for building LEGO mini-figures in quick time.
“My lord Sauron, I believe you’ve outdone yourself,” said the Mouth of Sauron.
“That’s nothing,” said Sauron, dragging his servant to the top of the platform. He showed off his device. “This is the Clone-O-Matic 97. Slick as steel, this technology is designed to create and build LEGO mini-figures according to our world. It even has two tanks.” He added, chipper, “Chancellor Sheev Palpatine sent it here, first class, from his Star Wars galaxy. Now all I need is Frodo Baggins returned here and I can begin.”
The Mouth of Sauron was confused. “Wouldn’t Frodo Baggins find out our plans?”
Sauron burst in hot anger. “Frodo Baggins is my problem, not yours! Find him and bring him here!”
The holo-projector pod beeped. Sauron ignored the device, as a blue holographic moving image appeared, revealing Chancellor Palpatine as Darth Sidious. Chancellor Palpatine, with his black hood on and his face changed to Darth Sidious, yelled at Sauron, getting the Dark Maia’s attention: “SAURON!”
Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant…
Finding the nearest air taxi, Jar-Jar and Tauriel brought the unconscious Frodo inside, setting him gently down on the long seat. When the Elf and Gungan were ready to go, the taxi driver sped the air taxi through the air. They flew past a few clowns driving an air clown car, some pigs playing poker with the dogs on a rooftop, and even the occasional drivers, such as the wizard Albus Dumbledore teaching the boy wizard Harry Potter how to drive. Harry waved to Tauriel and Jar-Jar before he rammed the air speeder into a wall. Dumbledore fixed his gaze on Harry, not pleased with this result. Harry, braving the odds, sped the air speeder in reverse, before he drove the speeder forward into traffic.
Tauriel and Jar-Jar arrived at the Jedi Temple’s landing pad. Once the air taxi made a full stop, Tauriel hoisted Frodo over her shoulder, leaping down on the landing pad without a synch. Jar-Jar was amazed by Tauriel’s athleticism. Only Tauriel shrugged, as if to ward off the fact that she had little popularity, except by the minority of her fans.
Tauriel asked the Gungan, confused, “What?”
Jar-Jar started his explanation, “Meesa…” but he was cut off by another voice.
That voice belonged to Jedi Master Mace Windu, a Korun Man with deep olive-skin and wearing white Jedi robes, rushed towards them with two other Jedi following him. Master Windu asked, “What’s happened here?”
Tauriel explained to the three Jedi, “We were at the Senate Building when Frodo,” she patted Frodo’s limp leg, “was attacked by – the hobbit that attacked us claimed himself as – Frodo’s evil twin, Fodo Braggart.”
Master Windu gave it some thought. “That is suspicious.”
Tauriel snapped Master Windu and the other Jedi out of their reverie. This was no time to talk. “We need to get Frodo somewhere where he can be healed. He was struck by a dart, no thanks to Fodo, and Frodo fell unconscious afterwards. He paled over from whatever virus was inside this dart.” She pulled out Fodo’s dart from her pocket.
“Give it here,” said Master Windu, opening his olive clawed hand. Once Tauriel gave the dart to him, Master Windu passed it to the third Jedi, “We’ll have this dart examined and give you the results.”
“Thank you,” said Tauriel, pleased but still concerned for her hobbit friend.
The Jedi on Master Windu’s right, Jedi Master Luminara Unduli – a Miralan donned with a deep red cloth headpiece, yellow skin, black tattoos on her chin, and clothed in deep grey-and-black Jedi robes – spoke next, “Yes, now let’s get him – you said his name was Frodo –“ Tauriel nodded, allowing Master Luminara to finish, “…to the Halls of Healing.”
Master Luminara took Frodo’s rigid, unconscious body from Tauriel’s hands and into her arms, like an infant being cradled. Since this was an emergency, and no time for coddling, Master Luminara led Tauriel, Jar-Jar, and the third Jedi accompanying them – Jedi Master Kit Fisto, who was a Nautolan alien with large multifaceted eyes, green skin, and many head tails sleeked back on his head with a pair of head tails resting over and down his shoulders – towards an automatic door. Once the door flew open, Tauriel, Jar-Jar, and Jedi Masters Luminara and Fisto rushed down the long, wide hallway in search of the Halls of Healing.
Master Windu hung back for a few moments. He said to himself, “This is very suspicious. Whoever that evil twin is, he’s bad news.”
Chapter 20: Ep7 P2: Halls of Healing
Chancellor Palpatine, now Darth Sidious, while staying inside his elaborate office, spoke to Sauron by use of the holo-projector pad: “Your wretched Halfling, Frodo Baggins, came here demanding I stop you from your total domination of Middle-earth and other galaxies. But just saying that gives me an idea: total domination of all galaxies, for the Sith!”
Sauron spoke back through the holo-projector, at the top of his tower in Mordor: “Not just the Sith, Chancellor Palpatine or is it Darth Sidious – anyway. I plan on using Frodo Baggins to create an army just like him. Instead of creating a mini-figure of Frodo Baggins from scratch, which didn’t work out too much, cloning him is the key to my revenge. Ha ha ha!”
“Yes,” said Chancellor Palpatine or Darth Sidious – whatever. Darth Sidious stared at the camera in annoyance. He returned his gaze to the holo-projector of Sauron. “How close are you to finding Frodo Baggins?”
“When I get the result from Fodo Braggart, his evil twin I created and built from scratch,” said Sauron.
Darth Sidious said, pleased, “Excellent Lord Sauron.”
“Yes it is,” said Sauron, also pleased with the scenario so far. “And now…” he was cut off by a second holo-projector, sending in another call. Sauron apologized, “Sorry.”
“Oh what now?!” asked an infuriated Darth Sidious.
Sauron said, “I have another call.”
“Don’t take too long!” said Darth Sidious.
Sauron put his call with Darth Sidious on hold. Pressing a second button, the holo-projector pad revealed Fodo Braggart, who had a worried expression on his face. Sauron was curious and angry at Fodo: “What news do you have, Fodo Braggart?”
Fodo burst, as he explained his current dilemma, “I met Frodo Baggins.”
“Aaaannnnd?” asked Sauron, waiting to hear more news. “Have you captured him?”
Fodo explained further, very worried, “He caught me off-guard. So I stabbed him with that dart you gave me to tranquilize him. I escaped, but he…”
“You what?!” asked Sauron, alarmed and frustrated.
“Well, Frodo Baggins brought an elf. A Wood-elf,” said Fodo. “I think that Wood-elf’s name is Tauriel, from the Woodland Realm. She’s very skilled…”
Sauron blasted him with words. “I don’t care about the She-elf’s name or her skills! Just find Baggins and bring him here! Is that understood?!”
Fodo stood at attention. “Yes, mi lord. Right away, mi liege.” He turned off his holo-projector pad before Sauron did the same.
Relieved, Sauron pressed a button, allowing Darth Sidious’ holo-projection to be revealed yet again. Darth Sidious was clearly peeved, for he glared at Sauron as if the Dark Lord of Mordor did something that frustrated him. Doing his best to keep calm, Darth Sidious asked Sauron, “What have you learned? Has the Halfling Ring-bearer been caught yet?”
Sauron admitted, sneering, “Not yet, but we will catch him.”
“Just don’t let him get away again! I cannot stand another warning from that Halfling,” said Darth Sidious. He turned off his holo-projector, cutting his conversation with Sauron there. He shook his head in annoyance. He had a sore headache from all this Halfling Ring-bearer warnings, searching for Frodo Baggins, not searching for him… it was too much and he didn’t have time to worry about a silly Halfling. At least his plan was going into motion, allowing him to cackle softly to himself.
Meanwhile, in the Halls of Healing, at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant…
“In here,” said Master Luminara, leading the group over to a medical bed. Laying Frodo down on the bed, Master Luminara explained to the Jedi healer assisting them, “Frodo Baggins, this little hobbit, was attacked by his evil twin, Fodo Braggart, and stabbed with a dart. From what I gathered, the dart was a tranquilizer meant to make Frodo ill. Can you heal him?”
The Jedi healer said, “We’ll heal him straightaway.” She felt Frodo’s forehead. Concerned, the Jedi healer said in defeat, “He’s burning up. His fever must be broken.” She observed the purplish-red wound on Frodo’s side. Grabbing a blue crystal from the table beside her, the Jedi healer made her preparations in a short time.
Tauriel waited outside the infirmary, watching the scene from an observation deck above. She did not know how the healing process was going. All she knew was she had a growing concern towards Frodo. Whether or not he survived… no, he must survive. That was the only way to end Sauron’s plan once and for all.
Then, in a single long moment, Frodo’s cries of pain and anguish rang clearly from the room below…
Sleep drained in Frodo’s mind, detracting him from thinking anything else… he wanted to escape this void, but found he could not… the fever made him worse…
Thoughts of Mordor, the Ring and Sauron invaded his mind… no, he couldn’t think of Sauron or the Ring! And yet, he wanted to hold the Ring again, ensure that his dreams would come true… he…
“Frodo…” called a faint feminine voice. The voice was distant… surely, Frodo imagined… “Frodo, you must live!” called the feminine voice, clearer now and more precise. Yes, the voice was definitely from a female…
Was he imagining the voice? Frodo knew the voice, whoever she was, came from inside his mind…
Pain flourished in greater stress. Frodo heard his own voice screaming in anguish. No, his voice wasn’t from his mind; no indeed. The strain of his voice came from his mouth, making his throat hoarse and dry…
“Frodo, hold on! You need to return. Your friends need you. We all need you,” there was her voice again! “Please Frodo, do not turn away. Please, come back to us. Frodo…”
Frodo must have heard her voice’s command, because sleep slipped away. His voice still screamed, but the pitch was lessened considerably. He could feel his spirit return to his body, the effort making him feel heavy. As his spirit rejoined with his body, the pain became less as well, if not still painful on his left side.
The last tendrils of sleep decimated… he was back, or so he hoped…
Frodo opened his eyes wearily. He was in a large room with blue-green lighting. A tall ceiling towered yards above his head, covered in grey tiling. He did not know where he was, but wherever he was, Frodo knew he was in a peaceful place. Standing next to him was a woman, a Jedi healer, whose voice he remembered from his strange, recent dream.
Chapter 21: Ep7 P3: Recovery
Sauron watched the holo-projector as it turned off, due to Darth Sidious pressing the button on his desk at his end. Now alone with the Mouth of Sauron, Sauron faced his servant and said, “What are you doing, standing around? Get back to work!”
The Mouth of Sauron saluted. “Yes mi liege.” He rushed out of the room, charging down the stairs and not looking back.
Sauron thought about what he should do. Frodo Baggins was on the loose and that blasted Fodo Braggart failed to capture him. Sure, he could give his new apprentice, the hobbit that looked just like the Ring-bearer, a second chance. Then an idea struck him. Why not send his armies raining down on the Free Peoples of Middle-earth? His Orc army in Mordor was ready, armed with swords, shields, and their orders.
Appeased by this new idea, Sauron stood on the balcony, where he could see his Orcs at work on the ground below. He made his speech loud and clear to all his minions: “Listen up, maggots! Frodo Baggins has escaped and Fodo Braggart is nothing more than a failure. Ever since I created that wretched Halfling, right from scratch, Fodo Braggart has been a pain on my side. So now, we will prepare for a war on the Free Peoples of Middle-earth.”
One Mordor Orc asked, confused, “Eh, didn’t we just do that?” His head swarmed with fire, making him scream in pain. Then the swirling flames dissipated in his mind. The Mordor Orc peered up at Sauron, who gazed back, infuriated with him. The action-and-reaction of Sauron’s power on the Mordor Orc lasted for a few seconds.
Sauron said, infuriated, “We’ll do it again, if we have to. And we will! Frodo Baggins has to return to Middle-earth at some point. When he does, we’ll strike all lands, not just Middle-earth.”
A second Mordor Orc asked, also confused, “But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of attacking Middle-earth?”
Sauron shook his head in silence. Sometimes his Orcs were too slow for his way of thinking.
Meanwhile, in the Halls of Healing, at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant…
Frodo did his best to sit up, but collapsed on the bed he lay on. A dizzy spell engulfed his vision. He took deep breaths, doing his best to collect himself. Sleep overcame him, throwing him into a world of darkness…
Frodo opened his eyes, blinking as he looked about him. He was in a patient’s room with beds on either side, a couple of feet away from each other. He was no longer in the larger room, and yet there were machines moving about the area. Now with a clear head and fully awake, Frodo wondered what happened. Although he didn’t remember much of the larger room in the facility, if he was still there, the last memory he had was Fodo Braggart, his evil hobbit twin dressed in black robes, stabbing him with the dart. Then there was Sauron…
Sauron. No! Was the Dark Lord of Mordor engulfing the lands of Middle-earth? Was Middle-earth doomed? He did not know. He…
Tauriel entered the room, advancing towards him in her graceful manner. She was relieved to see him. “How do you feel?”
Frodo admitted, sitting up on the bed, “Well. Thank you, Tauriel. But…” He felt his head. At least his fever broke and his temperature was back to the right degree, “…what happened? How long was I out?”
Tauriel sat on a chair next to him. She said, “Two days.”
“And the fate of Middle-earth?” asked Frodo, worried.
Tauriel shook her head. “I don’t know. A lot has happened in the time you were unconscious.”
Frodo’s head sagged against his chest. Great. So, in the time he was out, anything could have happened. He missed his best friend and gardener, Samwise Gamgee, and his cousins, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took. But then… oh, what did happen while he was unconscious?
Turning his gaze to Tauriel, Frodo asked her, “You can tell me, if you want to.”
Tauriel heaved a sigh. This would not be easy for him to hear, but he needed to know the truth. “After you were healed, I stopped by the Jedi Council, which is several stories above our heads, for information regarding Fodo Braggart. The things I learned these past two days will shock you, but I do hope it doesn’t turn out that way.”
Frodo nodded. “Go on.” He was interested in hearing this news, no matter whether it was good or bad.
Tauriel continued her story, “What I learned from the Jedi Council, and from Fodo himself, was Sauron’s real plan for why he wanted to make you his son…”
End of Episode 7
Chapter 22: Ep8 P1: As We Approach the New Gate
The opening text crawled backwards into space. The Narrator from LEGO Star Wars read the following text, in his loud, booming voice:
Learning the Truth
Frodo, the hobbit who destroyed Sauron’s Ring,
makes a full recovery in the Halls of Healing at
Coruscant’s Jedi Temple. Finding out from Tauriel
that he slept for two days, Frodo is determined to
figure out from her the news she has learned,
since his absence.
Two days prior, Tauriel moved about the Jedi
Temple, in search of answers to Frodo’s “evil twin”
Fodo Braggart and why the hobbit jabbed Frodo
with a tranquilizer dart. But finding Fodo’s location
is perhaps the easiest job Tauriel and Jar-Jar have
yet to uncover…
The opening crawl faded, allowing the camera to crane down on the city-wide planet of Coruscant. After a transition fade, the camera zoomed in on the Jedi Temple; an even further zoom led the camera directly into the Halls of Healing infirmary, where Frodo collapsed on the bed. From the observation deck, just above the infirmary, Tauriel kept her gaze on Frodo. He would be fine, she was certain of that. He had stopped screaming a moment or two ago…
The door flew open automatically. Master Windu entered the observation deck with determination in his eyes. Getting Tauriel and Jar-Jar’s attention, Master Windu explained the situation, “The dart’s been analyzed by the Temple’s Analysis Droids. It was a tranquilizer dart, designed to cause illness and long-term suffering.”
Tauriel nodded. She asked, serious, “Where would Fodo Braggart get that kind of dart from?”
Master Windu replied, “The Analysis Droids found out the dart was constructed on the planet Sullust, where it was sold illegally to merchants. Fodo Braggart must have traveled to Sullust and got his fair share of tranquilizer darts, just like this one.” He pulled out the same dart and returned it to Tauriel.
Tauriel, after putting the dart in her pocket, said, “Thank you, Master Windu, but we must find Fodo Braggart, before he reports to Sauron.”
“The council will see to it that every tranquilizer dart on Sullust is disposed of and the maker arrested,” said Master Windu.
Tauriel asked, stunned, “And what about Fodo Braggart?”
“If we see him, we’ll let you know,” said Master Windu, leaving the infirmary’s observation deck.
Once they were alone, Tauriel told Jar-Jar, “We need to find Fodo Braggart, before he leaves the planet.”
“Meesa will assist you,” said Jar-Jar, smiling at her.
Tauriel blushed in embarrassment. Sometimes Jar-Jar was too kind for a Gungan. She said, “Let’s go find Fodo.”
“Right,” said Jar-Jar, leading the charge out of the observation deck.
Tauriel rushed after the Gungan. She needed to find Fodo, in an effort to ensure Frodo’s safety. But was she too late? Maybe Fodo didn’t leave the planet yet. Maybe he did. She didn’t know, but she hoped she would catch Frodo’s “evil twin” very soon.
Meanwhile, before the New Black Gate of Mordor, at Middle-earth…
Aragorn and his host, which included Legolas and Glorfindel’s-fangirls-turned-Legolas’-fangirls, drew closer to the New Black Gate of Mordor. The gate was indeed made from fresh obsidian rock and iron, giving the gates a reflective glow when lit by the rays of the sun. Given Frodo and the hobbits wouldn’t be helpful this time around – as Aragorn suspected the reason was that Sauron no longer had a Ring, but also because Aragorn didn’t want to risk the hobbits’ lives again – Aragorn knew he had to make a stand, in an effort to draw Sauron out of his land.
Aragorn announced, “Now that we’re here, and I only ask you all to come if you wanted –”
The host replied, shouting his way, “Just get on with it!”
Aragorn jumped back from the shock. Agreeing, and gathering his courage, Aragorn pulled out his sword from its sheath and advanced towards the New Black Gate. Legolas and Gimli followed beside their friend. This was the final battle both elf and dwarf had been waiting for. They would have another chance to face orcs and tally their scores.
Stopping in front of the Gate of Mordor, Aragorn called, loud and clear, “Come out, Lord of Mordor! Show yourself!” There was no response. Aragorn tried again. “If you do not show yourself, we will make you come out!”
A single Mordor Orc poked his head out of the wall’s opening. He was standing on the long walkway at the top of the gate. The Mordor Orc told Aragorn and his host, tiredly, “Sauron will not see anyone at this time.”
Aragorn turned to his friends in confusion. Gazing back up at the Mordor Orc, Aragorn asked him, “When will he come out?”
The Mordor Orc scratched his head. “Eh…” He moved away from the opening.
Aragorn looked at his friends for help. However, Legolas and Gimli shrugged their shoulders. Finding the effort at getting Sauron out of his tower useless, Aragorn had one suggestion on his mind, which he announced to all, “We make camp here. Sauron has to come out sometime.”
The host agreed without question. As to the fangirls and the Gimlis, they were both curious and confused. It was clear to them that Sauron was up to something, but whatever it was, it would have to wait for a few hours to the next morning. They did not know which time Sauron would choose to come out, but Aragorn made sure to keep his host occupied with building various LEGO objects that were good, decent and well-tended.
Chapter 23: Ep8 P2: The Dwarf Ladder of Gimlis
As she and Jar-Jar ran down the various flights of stairs, Tauriel told him, “When we find Fodo Braggart, I’m going to give him a good word of warning.”
“Meesa thinks you need to calm down,” said Jar-Jar.
Tauriel said, getting an idea, “Maybe I should build a ship.”
“Meesa stop!” cried Jar-Jar, skidding to a halt at the same time as Tauriel.
Standing before them was Fodo Braggart, building a wall out of thin Legolas wall bricks. Fodo stopped his work, letting out a surprised cry upon seeing the two.
Tauriel pulled out her bow and arrow in graceful haste, pointing it at the evil Hobbit. She demanded, “Why did you almost kill Frodo Baggins?”
“Eh… gotta go!” said Fodo, clambering up the LEGO brown walls to the vent above.
“Come back here!” called Tauriel, putting her bow and arrow away.
“Meesa thinks this is a bad idea,” said Jar-Jar, shaking his head and covering his eyes with his hands.
Tauriel darted up the LEGO wall in double time. Fodo, nervous Tauriel would catch up to him, made an effort to speed faster up the wall. There was a loud snapping sound against the wall Fodo was on. A light bulb lit above Tauriel’s head.
“Hmm…” said Tauriel.
In an effort to stop Fodo, Tauriel pulled on the LEGO wall that was weak. The effort worked, as the wall collapsed towards the floor, crashing into several smaller LEGO pieces. Fodo was fortunate to grab the vent in time, sneaking inside for only a few seconds. Seizing her chance to capture the hobbit, Tauriel leapt up to the vent and held onto Fodo from his waist and shoulder. Fodo tried to hold onto something; that is, until his LEGO arm popped out of its socket. Unable to hold onto, but using the Force to drag his freed arm back to him, Fodo was pulled backwards out of the vent by Tauriel.
Fodo fought against Tauriel’s grasp, as soon as he put his LEGO arm back in its socket. He had seconds to be relieved that his arm worked, before Tauriel sat him down in a chair and tied rubber bands around Fodo’s chest to hold him to the chair. Fodo was caught.
“Get me out of this thing!” said Fodo, frustrated with how the situation was turning out.
Tauriel said, bravely, “No. Not until you give me a good reason why you tried to kill Frodo.”
Fodo said, a mischievous grin on his face, “You love him. Admit it.”
Tauriel shook her head. “The only man I’ve truly loved is a dwarf named Kili.”
Fodo stopped moving. He paused, only for a moment. Then laughter burst from his mouth, “You, an elf, dating a dwarf. That must be quite the show.”
Jar-Jar pointed out, “Meesa thinks you’re not a very good liar.”
Fodo’s head sagged. “I’m not.” He understood. Was this a trick? “Wait… what are you saying?”
Tauriel pointed out, “That you’re not as bad as you make yourself to be. You were created to be a duplicate of Frodo Baggins. Odds are you’re as good as he is.”
Fodo wanted to attack Tauriel and Jar-Jar, but found he could not. He even admitted to himself he could not kill Frodo Baggins, but the only thing he did do was… “I tranquilized Frodo Baggins, from those darts made from the planet Sullust. He should be fine after a couple of hours… or two days. I never wanted to hurt him. I was just following Sauron’s orders.” He admitted, accusing Tauriel on the spot, “I don’t see why you wanted to have me killed.”
Tauriel said, “I would, but now you’re confessing. I’m glad you chose the good side.”
Fodo chuckled. “If we even know what is good or bad.”
“Frodo knows,” said Tauriel.
Fodo gave it some thought. “I almost believe that.”
Meanwhile, before the New Black Gate of Mordor…
Forty minutes passed and still no sign of Sauron.
Aragorn, peeved, told the others as he walked towards the New Black Gate of Mordor, “I’ll find out what’s taking so long.” Banging on the gate, Aragorn called, “Sauron, I know you’re there! Open up!”
The door opened slowly at first. Aragorn felt a hard smack against his face, sending him hurtling a good five feet into the air, straight into one of his Gondorian soldier battalions like nine pins crashed to the side by a bowling ball.
A Mordor Orc looked about him. The second he gazed at Aragorn and his host, the Mordor Orc said, “Eh gotta go!” He slammed the New Black Gate shut.
As Aragorn recovered from the blow, Legolas and Gimli charged towards the gate. However, their efforts were unquenched as the towering gate slammed open, hurling Legolas, Gimli and Legolas’ horse Arod into the air. The three landed on the ground without much injury, the horse Arod clambering on his feet in seconds. Gimli lifted up his face, shaking himself off but feeling dizziness overwhelm him.
Aragorn commanded their army of Gimlis, “Gimlis, break that gate down!”
“Yes, Lord Elessar!” said the Gimlis in unison. On their charge towards the gate, the Gimlis made a makeshift dwarf ladder. Seconds later, all the Gimlis combined their axes together, building a massive LEGO Gimli dwarf pick axe.
The Mordor Orcs continued slamming the New Black Gate off and on at rapid pace. But it only took a few efforts from the Gimlis to smash the New Black Gate and its watchtowers into several LEGO black pieces. The Mordor Orcs, stunned by the effort, fell towards the barren ground below.
Aragorn ordered his host next, shouting, “Now, we charge!”
The Gimlis said together, “Yes, my lord!” He moved in quick procession to get down from each other, their dwarf ladder now returned to battalions of Gimlis.
Altogether, Aragorn and the host advanced on the land of Mordor and the Mordor Orcs. A massive battle broke out, one that even made Sauron furious. This was the last thing Sauron wanted. From his balcony, Sauron cast black smoke over the battle, allowing his Mordor Orcs to see, while Aragorn and his host entering darkness.
Sauron commanded his army of orcs, “Mordor Orcs, imprison them! Bring them to your camps here at Mordor, and make them build another gate.”
The Mordor Orcs saluted, but gave no response.
Sauron blasted a yell at them, “MOVE NOW!”
The Mordor Orcs were startled. Speeding off, all the Mordor Orcs captured Aragorn and his host – and yes, the fangirls included – dragging the army into Sauron’s dominion.
Chapter 24: Ep8 P3: The Jedi High Council
Inspiration for LEGO Anakin Skywalker came from "LEGO Star Wars" cartoons and also the animated television show "Star Wars: The Clone Wars".
Fodo Braggart was led by Master Windu and the Jedi Masters into a Holding Cell. There, Master Windu pressed a button, causing the Holding Cell to light up and create a bright force field around Fodo. Fodo stood there, watching the Jedi, as well as Tauriel and Jar-Jar.
Tauriel told the Jedi, “Fodo shouldn’t cause problems now.”
Master Windu said, “Fodo Braggart should pay for his crimes.”
Master Yoda spoke, “Fight not unarmed men, the Jedi do not. Interrogate Fodo Braggart, the Jedi does.”
Jar-Jar said, “Can meesa interrogate Fodo Braggart now?”
Tauriel stopped him, “Wait Jar-Jar.” She told the Jedi, “I know Fodo Braggart is your prisoner, but I was the one who sent him here. I should be the one to interrogate him. He may have been influenced under Sauron’s powers.”
Master Windu said, “Go right ahead.”
Tauriel approached Fodo Braggart’s holding cell. There, she asked him, “All right, so why did Sauron send you here?”
Fodo chuckled. “I just told you: Sauron wants to bring Frodo Baggins back to Mordor.”
“Why, we must know,” said Master Yoda.
Fodo said, shrugging, “Sauron plans on using Frodo Baggins to create an army of hobbits. He plans on cloning him, since he says I’m a failure. And I guess he’s right.”
Tauriel told him, “You’re not a failure. You’re brave for telling us this information. Thank you, Fodo. When Frodo is well, he’ll interrogate you, too.”
Master Yoda stopped her, “No. A word with the council, he needs. Catch up on lost times, he does.”
Master Windu said, “I only hope we’re not too late.”
Returning to the Present…
Tauriel told the recovering Frodo Baggins, “And that’s how we ended up capturing Fodo Braggart, you’re supposed ‘evil twin’.”
Frodo said, “I’d like to see him, after I have a word with the Jedi Council.”
Tauriel said, “Yes, the council asked for you to come, as soon as you are well.”
Frodo thought for a moment, before saying, “Well, I’d like to know what happened at home. You didn’t tell me that part.”
Tauriel admitted, shaking her head, “I still don’t know what has all happened, since we left home.”
Frodo sighed. “That’s true. Thank you for the story, Tauriel.”
Tauriel said, “Anytime Frodo, anytime.”
A few hours passed. Frodo was released from the Halls of Healing and was allowed to explore the Jedi Temple. However, Frodo insisted on speaking with the council about all that had happened, and to find a ship to return to Middle-earth. Frodo, with help from Tauriel and Jar-Jar, who by now figured out the layout of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, arrived at last to the High Council Chamber.
Inside the High Council Chamber were large windows which encompassed the walls of the top of the spire, allowing Jedi to gaze at the vast city vista below and beyond the Jedi Temple. The Jedi High Council was already expecting Frodo and his friends. When the meeting began and Frodo wished to hear the news from the Jedi’s perspective, the Jedi High Council members spoke one at a time to him.
Master Yoda said at the end of the story, “Out of it you are. Back again you are now.”
Frodo, for a moment, didn’t understand Yoda. Then he understood. “Ah.”
Master Windu said, “Since Fodo Braggart came from your world, Frodo Baggins, you’re allowed to take him with you back to Middle-earth.”
Frodo said, “With Sauron still on the loose, how do you propose… I mean, Fodo Braggart could return to him. I’m heading for the Shire as soon as I can find a ship.”
Master Yoda said, “Handle that Anakin Skywalker will. Send the Jedi Knight on a mission to Middle-earth, we will.”
Frodo wasn’t sure who Anakin Skywalker was, but he agreed to the Jedi’s wishes. “Eh… all right.”
Tauriel said, “Last time we spoke to Anakin Skywalker, he didn’t exactly…”
Master Windu said, “Anakin Skywalker needs discipline and so we are giving him to you to complete his mission there. If he defeats Sauron using the Force, then by all means…”
“No!” said Master Yoda. “Fall to the Dark Side, we will not. Humble are Jedi. Reckless is Skywalker. Needs more discipline he does.”
Frodo understood. “All right. We’ll find him and…”
Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, a male Cerean with a tall tapering head, told Frodo, “No. We’ll send Anakin Skywalker to you. Meet him at the spaceport tower in the Jedi Temple. Your friends, Tauriel and Jar-Jar, will show you the way.”
Frodo said to the council, “Thank you.” Not wanting to disturb the Jedi High Council further, Frodo made his way out of the High Council Chamber with Tauriel and Jar-Jar.
Reaching the spaceport tower Frodo, Tauriel and Jar-Jar, the three friends found themselves meeting a Jedi Knight wearing black Jedi robes and a gloved hand. In the Jedi’s grasp was Fodo, who did not like his current situation.
Panting, Frodo asked the Jedi Knight, “You must be Anakin Skywalker.”
“That I am,” said Anakin. “I didn’t know I was accompanying Halflings to this Middle-earth.”
“Didn’t the council tell you?” asked Tauriel.
Anakin said, “The council said this was a secret mission.”
“Let’s keep it that way. We’ll tell you more about the situation, as soon as we find a ship,” said Frodo.
Anakin said, “Oh, you’ll be riding in my ship.” He showed Frodo and his friends his G9 Rigger freighter, which had a gunner on top and a long wing on one side, with a gun at its tip. “Meet Twilight. I know she doesn’t look like much, but I’ve made some modifications. Now she’s good to go.” He informed Frodo and his friends, “My Padawan Ahsoka Tano should be here soon.”
A flushing sound was heard, followed by various girl hums in the nearby distance. Tauriel checked her wrist watch, while Jar-Jar whistled. At last, Ahsoka Tano, who was a Togruta female, donned with two head-tails that rested on her shoulders, and also short for a LEGO mini-figure, zoomed in on the scene. Ahsoka coughed to clear her throat.
Turning to her master, Ahsoka told Anakin, “I’m good to go, Master.”
“Good. You made short work of that,” said Anakin. He told the four, “Shall we, while we still have daylight. Where are we heading?”
“To the Shire,” said Frodo. But just as Frodo climbed up the exit ramp, he saw Jar-Jar not moving.
Jar-Jar looked about him and said, “Meesa must stay. Meesa expected at the next debate.”
Frodo rushed up to Jar-Jar and embraced him. Jar-Jar grinned a friendly grin, as he flung Frodo up in the air for a moment, lowering him back down again. Jar-Jar told Frodo, “Meesa will miss you, Frodo Baggins. I hope you have good times back at your home.”
“Meesa won’t – no, I won’t forget you, Jar-Jar. You’ve been a good friend,” said Frodo, cheery.
Anakin said, impatient but at the same time cocky and doing his best to keep his cool, “And if we’re all ready to go, then let’s head out.”
Frodo and Jar-Jar released. Frodo waved to Jar-Jar as he boarded Anakin’s ship, Twilight. The hobbit told the Gungan last, “We’ll see another day soon!”
As soon as Frodo entered the freighter, Anakin closed the exit ramp. Jar-Jar watched from a short distance as the ship took flight. The Gungan waved to Frodo one last time. Then the freighter was out of the spaceport tower, heading for space. Frodo was now on his return trip home. Anakin punched in the coordinates on the ship’s navigation computer, before putting the ship into hyperspace.
End of Episode 8
The Narrator spoke to the audience. “Frodo Baggins, once on his journey to convince the Star Wars Galaxy of Sauron’s plot against him, has now returned to Middle-earth in a desperate effort to end Sauron’s reign in Mordor. Accompanied by the Wood-elf Tauriel, the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker’s apprentice, Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano and the hobbit that made an attempt on his life: Fodo Braggart, Frodo is just returning from hyperspace…”
Anakin’s ship Twilight came out of hyperspace, gliding smoothly down to the world Middle-earth. Anakin landed his ship in the green countryside, away from any nosy hobbits. Lowering the exit ramp, Anakin followed his Padawan Ahsoka, Tauriel, Fodo and Frodo off the ship.
Frodo told the others, as he ran across the green countryside, “Stay with Fodo! Don’t let him damage anything!”
Tauriel called, “Where are you going?”
Frodo called back, “To find my hobbit friends, Samwise, Merry, Pippin…” His voice faded out as he disappeared across the countryside.
Fodo huffed. Finding a small starfighter nearby, Fodo hopped inside. He let out a cry of surprise as Tauriel got his attention: “Just where are you going?”
Fodo sighed. “Look, Tauriel. You’ve made me confess so much. If I don’t return to Sauron, I’ll…”
Ahsoka told Fodo, in an effort to give Fodo hope, “Fodo, Sauron may have built you out of scraps, but you are an individual. You were made to look and think like Frodo Baggins, and Frodo Baggins is a good hobbit, as you’ve seen. Why don’t you join the Good Side? It’ll be a great effort to our cause. No one is forcing you on our side, only asking.”
Fodo was teary-eyed. He didn’t kill Frodo and he certainly wasn’t going after Tauriel or the Jedi. Maybe he wasn’t in league with Sauron. But this… was too much! Fodo burst, “As much as I want to join you, I have to go my own way.” Fodo closed the starfighter’s hatch, taking off into the skies above.
Anakin asked the two ladies, “Now what do we do? We can’t go back to the galaxy far, far away.”
Tauriel said, “No, but if Legolas has gone to Mordor, and if Frodo returns, we can tell Frodo what happened and take him and his friends straight to Sauron’s land.”
“That’s brilliant!” said Anakin.
Ahsoka asked, concerned, “Eh… is that such a good idea?”
Anakin shrugged. It sounded like a great plan to him. Tauriel shook her head at him, realizing Anakin was a little immature. Gazing out at the distant countryside, Tauriel witnessed Frodo being captured by a rope trap by a Mordor Orc in a TIE starfighter ship. The Mordor Orc cackled as he and his buddy Mordor Orcs took off at top speed across the terrain. Tauriel, Anakin and Ahsoka watched the ship fly away.
Tauriel said, concerned, “Oh no.”
Frodo called to the three, “Get me out of here!”
Anakin and Ahsoka said together, “Let’s get ‘em.” They ran inside their fighter ship.
Tauriel charged in after them, not wanting to miss this chance. “You’re not leaving without me,” said Tauriel, determined to follow the TIE-fighter to its destination.
Once inside and ready to go, Anakin piloted his ship, Twilight, through the sky after the TIE-fighter. Anakin sped up as the TIE-fighter did. The Mordor Orcs were relentless in their driving, steering left and right, up and down, and even doing circles.
Ahsoka asked Anakin, “Eh… shouldn’t the designated driver be slowing down?”
“I like action,” said Anakin, confident.
Tauriel shook her head. “Yes, I can tell. But slow down.”
Anakin said, “It’s not my fault. These Mordor Orcs are driving too fast.”
Frodo screamed through an opening in the rope trap, “HELP!”
Pressing a button, Anakin used the gun control to shoot laser blaster fire at the enemy TIE-fighter. The Mordor Orcs suspected as much. Glad to be in Mordor, the Mordor Orcs dipped the TIE-fighter down, under the dark grey smoke clouds. Anakin for a few seconds couldn’t see anything, forcing him to dive the ship below the clouds. In the effort to stop the enemy ship, Anakin and the Mordor Orcs fired at one another.
Only, this resulted in both ships colliding into each other, crashing into several loose LEGO bricks, jumbled together in several places. There was a momentary flash of white light coming from everyone, which vanished as the colors of the land and everyone returned to everyone’s vision.
Tauriel shook herself off. Looking about her at the loose bricks, Tauriel said, “Hmm…”
Anakin stared jamming one piece into another, “This brown piece goes here!”
Ahsoka told him, “Master, I don’t think that’s the right piece.”
“Oh. What happened?” said Frodo, feeling light-headed and dizzy. He shook himself off only a second too soon. Gazing around him were Mordor Orcs, advancing towards him. Frodo said, “Oh boy.”
Excited, the Mordor Orcs grabbed Frodo, while he was still dizzy, and carried him straight to Barad-dûr. Tauriel watched the scene in confusion and angst.
Standing up, Tauriel readied her bow. She told Anakin and Ahsoka, “Come on. The Mordor Orcs are taking Frodo to Barad-dûr!”
Ahsoka asked, “Is that even a saying?”
Anakin said, huffing and puffing, “I wish Jek-14* was here. He’d repair all of this in a jiffy.” He got to the point, “Anyway, come on Ahsoka.” Anakin clicked on his blue lightsaber and charged after Tauriel. He looked behind him, but not too long, as Ahsoka caught up to him, turning on her green and yellow short lightsabers. “Now let’s get ‘em.” He couldn’t wait to charge in and fight those Mordor Orcs.
*Jek-14 came from "LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles". Jek was a Force Master Builder in his own right and one of my favorite LEGO canon characters.
Chapter 26: Ep9 P2: Sauron's Revenge
Inside Barad-dûr, at the top of the tower, the Mordor Orcs placed Frodo inside a cage. The Mordor Orcs stood at attention the moment Sauron entered the room. Frodo gasped. Sauron was now in full physical form and was as menacing as ever.
Turning to the Mordor Orcs, Sauron told them, “Thank you for bringing Frodo back. I will deal with Fodo’s incompetence later. Right now, I will put this hobbit in my Clone-O-Matic 97. Now get to work!”
The Mordor Orcs scrambled around, working on the various machines. Sauron, in the meantime, opened up the cage hatch. Using his powers, Sauron lifted Frodo up into the air, straight towards the Clone-O-Matic 97.
Sauron told Frodo, “You escaped my presence when I gave you mercy, Frodo Baggins. Now, I will create an army of replicas, just like you.”
Frodo asked, as his pale claw hand and velvet arm was placed inside a tube, “So you’re not going into that story where you supposedly think I’m your son?”
“You are not my son, Frodo Baggins! Your parents are dead!” said Sauron, boiling red with fury. “Now, I will have revenge on you for destroying my Ring.”
“Gollum destroyed the Ring, not I,” said Frodo, correcting him.
Sauron said, “Yes, but you were involved. So that makes you my enemy.” He asked one of the Mordor Orcs, “Now press the button and let’s unleash these clones.”
The Mordor Orc pressed a button, causing a larger tube to encase Frodo. Frodo felt a jolt of lightning reach his arm and his body, making him feel weaker. Coming out from the tubes and smoke next to him were clones of Frodo Baggins. Sauron cackled at the sight of the clones.
“Yes! My revenge is working! Hahahahaha!” said Sauron in wicked delight.
Swift and stealthy Tauriel, Anakin and Ahsoka made their way inside Barad-dur. The Mordor Orcs weren’t paying attention, which gave the three travelers ample opportunity to sneak inside. What they found were iron walls and rooms, which felt foreboding and claustrophobic. Tauriel, Anakin and Ahsoka searched around, but they found themselves inside the prison hold, where Aragorn and his host were locked up in the prison cells.
Legolas said, “Tauriel! We wondered…”
Tauriel shushed him, whispering to everyone, “Shh! There are guards nearby! We don’t want to be seen.”
Tauriel broke out some cages, but Anakin and Ahsoka used their lightsabers to cut through the chains, opening the prison cells. Once they were free, Aragorn and the host grabbed their provisions and their weapons. It was time for Aragorn’s speech:
“Host, travelers, fangirls: I know we have come a long way to stop Sauron’s reign of terror. I do not ask anymore than what you have. If anyone’s backing out now, then…”
“No!” whispered the host in unison.
Aragorn said, “Then let’s go!” He charged forward, hearing the many footsteps of his army heading upstairs. He stopped them with a hand when they reached Sauron’s building chamber, where the Clone-O-Matic 97 was located. He shushed his host, “Come on.”
But Sauron heard them and said, “Well, well, well. You broke out of those cages much sooner than I expected.”
Tauriel said, bow and arrow ready, “And now you will pay for your crimes. Give us Frodo Baggins!”
Sauron said, grinning menacingly, “Very well.” He released Frodo from the tube. In one swift effort, Sauron used his powers to throw Frodo straight towards Aragorn and his host. “I am done with him.”
Frodo lay on the floor, weak and exhausted. He hardly knew what to say, only that he needed to recover from what Sauron did to him.
Sauron gestured towards Aragorn and his host, but it was towards someone else. “And now, I have all of them.”
Coming out from the shadows was an army of clone Frodo Baggins. Sauron cackled. Yes! His revenge was now complete. He could use the army of cloned Frodo Bagginses against the large army.
“STOP THIS NOW!” cried Fodo Braggart, flying in on his starfighter. He was furious with Sauron for many reasons, but above all betrayal. Being used by Sauron was the worst thing that Fodo could not stand.
Sauron said, cunning, “Fodo Braggart, you’ve got nothing on me. My revenge is complete.”
“Oh really?” asked Fodo. He turned to the army of Clone Frodo Bagginses, asking them, “Clones, surely you don’t want to attack Aragorn and his army. You can still get out of this. You were made from Frodo Baggins. You have plenty of good in you. Don’t attack this host because Sauron tells you. Be yourselves.”
The Clone Frodo Bagginses stopped. They hesitated.
This didn’t please Sauron, “What are you doing? Attack!”
But the Clone Frodo Bagginses joined Aragorn and his host. The real LEGO Frodo Baggins stood up, feeling his head before glaring at Sauron. Frodo told Fodo, “You came at the last second.”
Fodo said, kindly, “I had to come back. You guys mean something, something that I didn’t think I had.” He turned to Sauron and said, “And now I have all of them.”
Flying behind Fodo’s ship was a whole bunch of ships, filled with Clone Troopers and Jedi Knights. Sauron was at his wits end. As Sauron backed away, ready to use another attack, he was pulled into a wave of darkness by Manwë. When Manwë was finished, Sauron was back to being unable to control his physical form or any other form. What remained of Sauron scurried away, not wanting anymore attacks on him by the Ainur. In an effort to stop Barad-dûr and Mount Doom from collapsing and blowing up, respectively, Manwë held onto Barad-dûr and Mount Doom for a little while longer.
Manwë told the host, “Go! I’ll hold this up, long enough for you to flee.”
Fodo told the Clone Troopers: “Get your ships close to the balcony. Help them!”
They were lucky they had plenty of ships, and yet they had to make multiple trips before everyone was out of Barad-dûr, including Frodo’s clone battalion who momentarily were Sauron’s allies. Frodo was the last to leave Barad-dûr. He took one last look at the LEGO brick building room before climbing onto the last ship with Masters Windu and Yoda.
As they flew away from the sight, Manwë released Barad-dûr and Mount Doom. Barad-dûr crashed into several LEGO bricks, while Mount Doom erupted, blowing up a side of its rocky wall. Frodo turned to the Jedi and his new friends: Tauriel, Anakin and Ahsoka. Frodo couldn’t thank them enough for what they did that day. He felt privileged to have met them.
“Thank you for saving me,” said Frodo, beaming at them.
Anakin said, “You know what this means.”
Ahsoka asked, “No. What master?”
Anakin said, “It means I’ll have to build another ship, just like the G9 Rigger freighter Twilight.”
Tauriel said, “It’s just a ship, Anakin.”
Anakin said, “Oh, it means something. And I’m going to build it again. You’ll see.”
Frodo chuckled. “I know you will, Anakin. I know.” He joined in the merry laughter with his friends. This was going to be a long trip back to the Shire, he knew, but it had been quite the journey. And now, he had a new story to tell his hobbit friends back home.
Chapter 27: EP9 P3: Epilogue
The Narrator from LEGO The Lord of the Rings Shorts spoke to the audience, “Yes, celebration was had throughout Middle-earth. Aragorn returned home and embraced Arwen, his wife…”
“Aragorn!” cried Arwen.
When Aragorn and his host of Gondorian soldiers were dropped off on Pelennor Fields, they waved goodbye to those in the ships. After saying farewells, with the ships moving further and further away, Aragorn ran up to Arwen and embraced her, twirling her around and kissing her. Arwen got Aragorn’s attention, as the Gondor soldiers shook their heads or looked about absentmindedly.
Faramir rushed up to Aragorn, panting, “My lord, my lord! Lady Eowyn has…”
Aragorn heaved a sigh. “I’ll go and speak to her.”
Arwen asked Faramir, “When did you get back here?”
Faramir said, “I was with Lord Aragorn’s army. It’s just I wasn’t mentioned enough in this story, for everyone to remember my name or me.”
Arwen said, understanding, “Oh.”
Meanwhile, at the Glittering Caves of Rohan…
The Narrator spoke again, “…Gimli returned to the Glittering Caves with his battalions of Gimlis…”
Gimli waved to the ships, as they flew away into the skies. Relieved everything was going back to normal, Gimli told his army of Gimlis, “Now Gimlis: I know we have had a rough spot with Sauron, Legolas and his fangirls. But you are not going back to ignoring me, are you?”
The Gimlis saluted, telling Gimli in unison as they charged forward, “Yes, Lord Gimli.” They rammed into the real LEGO Gimli, knocking him senseless.
Gimli peered up again, unsure what just happened. The Gimlis stopped and thought about their current situation. Feeling pity towards their leader, the Gimlis ran back to the real LEGO Gimli, hoisted him into the air and charged straight for the Glittering Caves of Rohan.
Grunting loudly, Gimli said, “Put me down! This is not how a dwarf is supposed to be! Gimlis!”
“Yes Lord Gimli,” said the Gimlis, tossing Gimli to the ground.
Gimli felt dizzy. Recovering from the blow, Gimli told the air, “Dwarves! But that’s why I love being a dwarf.”
“Yes Lord Gimli,” the other Gimlis rammed into Gimli again, charging into the Glittering Caves of Rohan.
This was not way to make their return to Rohan, Gimli thought. He knew he was right.
Meanwhile, at the Woodland Realm…
The Narrator spoke a third time, “…Legolas returned to the Woodland Realm with his fangirls…”
Scrambling past the gate, Legolas fled from the fangirls. At a speedy pace, Legolas returned to his father Thranduil, who was sitting on his throne. The fangirls followed in relentless pursuit, but then so did Thranduil’s fangirls. Thranduil noticed the growing number of fangirls, threw his mirror away, brushed his hair off to the side and said, traveling down the stairs:
“What sort of business is this, Legolas?” Thranduil gazed at his son, furious, “I thought I said for these fangirls to be removed.”
“Sauron has been defeated, Father. He cannot hurt us,” said Legolas.
Thranduil said, “Sauron should not be anyone’s concerns. Now what are we to do with these fangirls.”
Legolas said, “Keep them. I mean, they did help us in the fight against Sauron.”
“And mine didn’t. They’ve been blushing their way into my heart,” said Thranduil. “I could not abandon them either.”
“So we keep them?” asked Legolas, doing his best not to plead too much.
Thranduil nodded. “Yes. If what you say is true and the fangirls were a large help in the fight against Sauron, they may prove useful.” He turned to the fangirls. “Fangirls, I have a job for you.”
The fangirls giggled. They couldn’t wait to get started… Thranduil and Legolas passed to the fangirls mops, buckets and brooms. The fangirls were startled.
Thranduil told them, “Now get to work. Make sure this realm is kept neat, tidy and spotless.”
“Ohhhhh,” said the fangirls, realizing it was a trap.
Thranduil continued his conversation with Legolas. The two had catching up to do. As for the fangirls… well, they had work ahead of them. But it was a heavy price being a fan of Thranduil and Legolas. If it meant getting closer to the two elves, the fangirls considered Thranduil’s wishes. After all, they helped in defeating Sauron. Cleaning shouldn’t be a problem. But most of the fangirls groaned due to the hard work. They didn’t like this one bit.
Meanwhile, at the Hidden Valley of Imladris…
The Narrator spoke a fourth time, “…Rivendell stayed the same as ever, if not for Glorfindel wondering where his fangirls had gone…”
Glorfindel stared out at the balcony. His fangirls disappeared on him, all due to Legolas. What exactly did he do… a few giggling girls showed up, gazing at him. Glorfindel heaved a small sigh of relief. Well, maybe it wasn’t over for him and the fangirls. Standing on the balcony, Glorfindel showed off again, performing tricks and such.
Elrond looked at Lindir, asking him, “Will he ever learn?”
There was a loud crunch, followed by moaning from Glorfindel. Glorfindel cried, “Ow, my shin!”
Lindir shook his head. “I’ll get him.” He advanced towards Glorfindel, helping the elf to his feet and over to a chair.
Elrond placed his hands on his hips. Sometimes Glorfindel could be a real showoff. He may have been a Balrog-slayer, but he certainly was putting too much glory on his title. Or so Elrond suspected from Glorfindel’s behavior. Perhaps this was the way of things in their LEGO Middle-earth. He would never know.
Meanwhile, at the Shire…
The Narrator spoke once more, “…as for the others, Frodo returned safely to the Shire, along with his new army of clones, Fodo Braggart and Tauriel. The Jedi and their Clone Troopers prepared to set out for their own journey home.”
Gandalf arrived on the scene and built Anakin a new ship, very much like Anakin’s old ship Twilight. Anakin was impressed, “We keep this up and we’ll go places.”
“Well, I am a wizard,” said Gandalf. He smacked his sword a few times against his staff, making the sword glow blue. Realizing what was out there, Gandalf said, riding on his white steed Shadowfax, “Hm. I am now off to face Orcs. Farewell!” He bolted away from the scene.
Anakin turned to Frodo and said, “Even though the mission is complete, you are welcome to return to the galaxy far, far away.”
“You’re not just saying that,” said Frodo.
“No, I am saying that. I mean it,” said Anakin. He shook Frodo’s hand and then returned to his new freighter, under the same name, Twilight. He called his Padawan over, “Come on, Ahsoka!”
“Bye!” called Ahsoka, waving to Frodo and Tauriel.
As the Twilight freighter flew into the skies above, vanishing in a bright twinkling light, Master Yoda turned to Frodo. The green alien with the long pointed ears told Frodo, “Hobbits need to stay here, we think.”
Frodo chuckled. “Don’t worry about me, Yoda.”
“Looking out for you we will. Bye now,” said Yoda, heading into one of the ships with the Jedi and Clone Troopers.
Then the ships were gone, all except Fodo’s ship and Frodo’s clones. Frodo turned to the clones first, asking them, “Where will you go?”
The clone Frodo Bagginses said in unison, “We don’t know.”
One of the clones spoke up, “I’m thinking we should give ourselves names to tell us apart, just like Fodo did. I’ll call myself Grodo.”
Frodo chuckled. “Good luck with that.” He turned now to Fodo, asking him, “What about you? You could always stay.”
Fodo shook his head. “No. My place is here in the wilderness. Should you need me, I’ll contact you.”
Frodo nodded. He gazed at Tauriel, asking her, “What will you do?”
Tauriel said, “I don’t know. I’ll just wander through Middle-earth. We’ll see what happens.” She asked him, “Shouldn’t you return home, before it gets late.”
“I should,” said Frodo. He told everyone, “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye!” said the others, waving to him.
Frodo chuckled. He was grateful to have known each and every one of them, even if it was for a short time. His clones would do well. He just knew they would. With nothing further to do, Frodo set out on the journey home.
Hobbiton looked the same as ever. Climbing up the road back to Bag End, Frodo was greeted inside by his friends: Samwise Gamgee, Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took. Frodo ended up in a heap, thanks to his cousins. It didn’t matter because Frodo was now home, and that’s where he wanted to stay for a while.
Merry asked Frodo, “Frodo, where have you been?”
“I’m sure Frodo has a story or two to tell,” said Pippin.
But the surprises weren’t over. LEGO Aria Breuer spoke up: “Well, I’m glad you’re home too, Frodo.” She was more chipper than ever.
Frodo could help but smile at her. “Well, you know me, Aria. I wouldn’t give up on people.”
“I believe that,” said Aria, grateful as well the story was wrapping up nicely.
Frodo grunted, but said nothing else in exchange to her. Still, he was happy to be home and well…
“Papa?” asked a boy’s voice to Samwise Gamgee.
Once Merry and Pippin moved, Frodo saw who was lurking behind his gardener. It was a hobbit boy, who looked very similar to Frodo; yet he also looked like Sam. Sam picked up the little boy, holding him in his arms. What had Frodo missed since his journey through Middle-earth and the Galaxy Far, Far Away?
Sam introduced Frodo to the lad, “Frodo Baggins, I’d like you to meet my son: Frodo Gamgee.”
Frodo said, approaching the lad, “You’re shy, aren’t you?” He whispered to Sam’s son, “Have I got a story to tell you.”
Little Frodo Gamgee looked at Sam’s friend in wonder, “What story?”
Frodo chuckled. It was time to tell Frodo Gamgee everything that transpired: from recent events to the adventures he shared with Sam and the Fellowship, even telling tales of Bilbo Baggins’, Frodo’s uncle/cousin, adventures to the Lonely Mountain.
End of Episode 9 and Story