So as it turns out, Rick wasn't lying about the twins seeing some crazy shit. His adventures had started out innocent enough, just running to a different dimension for parts or a distant planet for some plants that can cure just about anything, but the more frequent the adventures got, the weirder and deadlier they became, including but certainly not limited to:
The twins almost being killed when Rick tried smuggling some seeds through an interdimensional airport via Morty.
Their dog gaining super intelligence and almost taking over the world.
The two of them going to an amusement park inside a hobo and almost being killed by diseases.
The two of them almost being sold into slavery because Rick accidentally broke some priceless alien artifact.
And that was just naming a few.
The twins probably couldn't even count on both sets of hands the number of times they'd almost been shot, or eaten, or crushed, or any other form of gruesome death. And the thing was, Rick never even really seemed to care. He would bandage any scrapes or heal any broken bones, but that was pretty much where the care ended.
Just like right now.
Rick and the twins were sprinting down a hallway in some dark building on a planet they couldn't remember the name off. They were being chased down by demonic versions of their own family, which Rick explained as 'clones from a different reality possessed by demonic spirits from another realities future'.
The twins continued running, gasping and out of breath, functioning mostly on adrenaline. Rick had said something about finding a room. The twins weren't exactly sure what he'd meant at the time, but when the corridor suddenly opened up into a small space with a red button on the wall, they both figured this must've been it.
Morgan looked back in time to see Rick get tackled to the ground by the clones of her family, the box in his hand clattering across the floor and over to Morty. The boy quickly picked the box up, eyes wide with panic.
"One of you hit the button already! C'mon!" Rick yelled, trying to fend off the clones.
"Rick, I can't, this is our family!" Morty cried back, but Morgan knew they would all die if someone didn't press it. She took one last look over at the creatures with her families faces before closing her eyes tightly and slamming her fist over the button. Morty cried out as he watched his family melt into nothing, the box falling from his hands. Rick simply grabbed it off the floor and pulled out his portal gun, shooting a portal into existence and walking through. Morgan slowly opened her eyes and stared at the portal before grabbing Morty's wrist and tugging him through with her.
"Good job, you two. These demonic spirits are really valuable." Rick said as he slid the box onto a shelf. He failed to notice Morty trembling, but he did hear the boy as he threw up in the corner.
"Woah-hey, Morty, you okay? I told you not to trust that tuna."
"The tuna-Rick, we just killed our family!" Morgan shouted, looking her twin over worriedly. Morty wiped at his mouth before shaking his head.
"I'm done! I'm-I'm done with this-this shit, Rick! That was really traumatizing! I'm out, find yourself some other twins to torment."
Rick blinked at Morty's outburst before reaching out and grabbing his arm.
"Hey, c'mon, M-Morty, Morgan, you guys can't do that-"
"Can't we? Screw you, Rick!" Morgan exclaimed, crossing her arms angrily.
"Hey, hey-okay, that one got a bit out of hand, yeah-"
"Just shut up and let me talk! Ugh...can't believe I'm saying this, but what if I let you guys lead an adventure?" Rick asked, tilting his head slightly. The twins both blinked in surprise, glancing at each other.
"You-you would do that, Rick?" Morty asked.
"Yeah, but if it sucks and we bail, you two can't bitch about our adventures anymore."
"And-and if it doesn't suck, we get to lead every third adventure." Morty said with a smile.
"Tenth." Rick argued.
"Fifth." Morgan countered.
"Ugh, fine, seventh!"
"Deal!" The twins agreed, smiling more.
"C'mon, then, let's go!" Morty exclaimed. Rick groaned, pulling out his portal gun and handing it to Morgan. She smiled brightly as she input a dimension, showing it to Morty. Her twin nodded in agreement, and Morgan shot another portal into existence. The twins jumped through the portal, Rick sighing and walking in after them. The portal dropped them just outside of a small village, like something you would find in the Middle Ages.
"Oh, wow. Real adventurous place, guys." Rick muttered.
"It's a land of fantasy, Rick. Get your head out of your scientific ass for a second and give it a chance." Morgan said, looking back at her grandfather.
"Yeah, Rick. We're going on a quest." Morty added as they walked towards the center of the village. He and Morgan got up on a box that was most likely used for big announcements, clearing their throats.
"Excuse us! We are three humble travelers, searching for adventure!" Morty announced, smiling as the village people surrounded the box. Rick groaned, face palming.
"This is embarrassing."
"At last! Heroes!" One of the village people exclaimed, running towards them. "This village is terribly poor, but the giant living in the clouds has an untold fortune!"
The twins looked at each other, smiling brightly.
"We accept your call to adventure, kind sir!" Morgan announced, hopping off the box. "C'mon, Rick, there's a rich giant we gotta go steal from!"
Rick rolled his eyes. "Beginners luck." He muttered as he followed the twins over to a huge vine spiraling up into the clouds. Morgan was already climbing.
"C'mon, slowpokes, it's just like a rock wall!"
Morty jumped onto the vine after her, climbing up after her. Rick sighed heavily, climbing after them halfheartedly.
It didn't take terribly long for a large castle to come into view. The vine grew right along the side of it, leading up to an open window. Morgan smiled, looking down at the other two.
"Found our way in!" She called out. A few minutes later, the three of them were standing just below the windowsill.
"Great, we're in your stupid giant's castle, what's next?" Rick asked.
"Geez, Rick, we just gotta find the treasure room, quit being a jerk." Morgan muttered.
"She's right, Rick. I-I'm sorry this adventure is going so smoothly." Morty said before the ground suddenly shook. The giant.
"Uh oh, guys, it's starting to get a little hairy. Whatcha wanna do, guys?"
"Rick, just quit being a dick and hide behind this cookie jar!" Morgan said, pressing herself back against the cold ceramic. The giant walked into the doorway a moment later.
"Fee fi fo fum, I smell the-WOAH!"
And suddenly, the giant was bleeding out on the floor. The three looked down at him, eyes wide.
"Oh my god, how did that even happen??" Morgan exclaimed before another giant, a woman, walked into the room with a baby in her arms.
"Oh my god, Dale!" She cried out before noticing the three humans on the table. "You sons of bitches!" She shouted, trapping them all under a glass before dialing 911.
The three of them were officially arrested a few minutes later.
The jailhouse, like everything else, was huge. But even so, they had jumpsuits that fit the three of them. According to the officers, people their size caused trouble around here a lot.
The interrogators didn't listen to anything they tried saying. Morgan actually bit one of them when he started getting too rough with Morty.
They were in court a few minutes after that. Apparently giant justice systems don't waste their time. The three of them were sat on a book on the defendants table. Their giant lawyer seemed like an okay guy, at least.
"G-great adventure, you guys. Rick and the twins go to giant prison. Y-you better be careful, Morty, or-or your sister's gonna be taken for a wife."
"God, Rick, just shut up! We-we'll get out of this." Morty muttered. Morgan was humming to herself in thought before she suddenly perked up.
"Guys, I think I just got us out of here." She whispered before walking over to their lawyer, nudging his hand a bit. He looked down at her before opening his hand and letting her onto his palm, lifting her up to hearing distance. Morgan smiled, whispering something to him.
"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, raising an eyebrow.
"You think that's something I would miss while getting arrested?" Morgan responded, crossing her arms. Their lawyer nodded a bit.
"Good point." He said before setting her safely back down on the book with Morty and Rick, standing up and smoothing out his jacket.
"My client has just informed me that she and her family were never read their rights! I plead faulty arrest and move to release them immediately."
And a few minutes later, the three humans were walking towards the stairs.
"Geez, Morgan, that was great! How-how'd you know to do that?" Morty asked, smiling at his twin.
"You've gotta be read your rights, Morty. If you're not, the arrest is illegitimate." Morgan answered matter-of-factly, smiling proudly. Rick rolled his eyes, sighing.
"You guys are just lucky one of you is smart."
"No, Rick, you're just upset that this is going our way." Morty argued as they stopped at the top of the stairs, looking down. They were huge...
"Y'know, I-I can take us home right now, call it quits." Rick offered, holding up his portal gun.
"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Morgan asked. "C'mon, Morty, help me down."
It took a while, but the three eventually got the hang of climbing down the steps. Rick continued complaining, but the twins mostly ignored it.
They had just dropped down onto another step when they noticed a small door in the face of it. Morty smiled, looking up at Rick.
"Well, look at that! A-a tavern in the side of the steps."
"And it's just our size." Morgan added, laughing a bit at the irritated look on Rick's face. Morty led the way inside, looking around. There were all sorts of weird creatures and people inside, but none of them looked evil or menacing.
"Wow, there's little stair people, guys! All sorts of whacky characters. See, this is what an adventure should be like, Rick." Morty announced, quickly spotting an empty booth for the three of them.
"Yay, almost getting sent to giant prison, so adventurous." Rick muttered, crossing his arms.
"It's better than almost getting killed!" Morgan exclaimed. "You're just mad that we're better at this than you!"
"No, Rick, you are! That's-that's why you've been giving us shit this whole time! You can't handle the fact that we're actually good at this!" Morty shouted, slamming a hand down on the table. "Listen, I gotta take a leak. Either accept that we're good adventurers, or don't be here when I get back." The teen added before walking over to the bathroom.
Morgan looked at Rick, arms crossed. The older man sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"This is a tavern, right? I'm gonna go gamble." He announced, standing and walking over to a card table near the back of the tavern. Morgan rolled her eyes, letting out a soft sigh.
A few minutes passed, with Rick getting progressively happier at the card table, but there were no signs of Morty coming back. Morgan stood up from the booth and walked over to the bathrooms, knocking on the door she'd seen Morty go through.
"Morty? You okay in there? You better not be-"
She heard screaming. Morty was screaming.
The girl didn't hesitate to throw the door open, rushing inside. Her eyes went wide in shock and disgust at what she saw in the first stall. Her brother, her twin, trapped underneath some weird jellybean man, who clearly only had the worst intentions in mind. She blinked before crying out in rage and launching forward, wrapping her arms around where she figured the things neck was. She pulled it backwards, out of the stall, away from her Morty. She quickly slammed it into the wall, then again, then again. She heard herself yelling, shouting profanities and insults at this thing that had dared to touch her brother.
She slammed it head first into the wall one last time before backing away, panting from exertion with neon turquoise blood covering her arms. The jellybean fell to the dirty bathroom floor, unmoving. Morgan kicked it once for good measure before looking back into the stall.
"Holy shit, Morty." She whispered, walking towards him. Physically, he was only roughed up a bit, with a line of spit along the side of his face. He looked terrified.
"Jesus Christ, Morty, how far did he get?" Morgan asked, pulling her shirt sleeve down so it covered her hand and using it to wipe his face gently. Her twin blinked at her a bit, as if he didn't understand.
"Morty, how far did that thing get?" Morgan asked again, eyes wide with concern. Morty slowly looked her over, noting the blood drying on her shirt. He didn't look any farther than that.
"I-he-he didn't manage much b-before you got here.." Morty answered quietly, still processing what had just happened.
"Thank god." Morgan whispered before pushing some stray hairs out of Morty's eyes. "Are you hurt at all?"
"My-my shoulder is a little sore, but-but that's all.."
"Good, that's...that's good. C'mon, we're getting the hell out of here."
Morgan helped her brother to his feet, both of them pointedly ignoring the still body laying on the floor. The twins both walked over to the card table Rick was sitting at and, by the looks of things, he had just won the game. He glanced up at them, smiling brightly. "Hey, kids! Listen, you were right, this adventure is turning out pretty good!"
"Rick, I think I killed someone." Morgan murmured, glancing back at the bathroom. Morty hugged himself tightly at his sisters words, eyes burning with unshed tears. Rick's smile vanished when he actually took on the state the twins were in. Morty was shaking like a dead leaf on a windy day, and Morgan's shirt and hands were covered in weird blue-green blood.
"...you think you killed someone." Rick repeated. "Um..how, exactly, did that happen?"
"Can we just go home?" Morty asked softly, holding himself tighter. Morgan looked over at her brother and nodded a bit in agreement.
"I'll explain everything at home, just, please? Can we go?" The girl asked. Rick looked the two of them over before glancing at the bathroom Morty had gone in. His eyes widened slightly as he started piecing everything together. The blood, Morty's shaking, the sudden need to leave.
"Shit..." He whispered before pulling out his portal gun, setting it for home.
"Guys, I want you to take my winnings and give them to the village at the bottom of the stairs. If I find out you didn't, and I will find out, it won't end well for you." Rick warned before shooting a portal and gently guiding the twins through it. It closed behind them as they stepped into their garage. Morty looked around quickly, relaxing just a bit. Morgan looked at him before hugging him tightly, gently running her hand through his hair. Morty tensed up slightly before hugging back, burying his face in her shoulder. Rick blinked a bit, staring at them before awkwardly wrapping his arms around both of them.
"You guys don't need to explain anything, by the way...I-I think I got it.." Rick murmured.
"...you-you were right, Rick. Leading the adventures isn't easy at-at all.." Morty mumbled, words slightly muffled by Morgan's shirt.
"Nah, you guys did good. You-you did better than I do most of the time."
Morgan looked up at him, smiling faintly.
"Well, it's not like that's very hard."
Rick rolled his eyes, smiling a bit as well. Morty wiped at his eyes, laughing quietly.
"She's got a point."
"Yeah, yeah, don't go getting big heads now, they're big enough already." Rick said sarcastically, ruffling their hair. The twins both smiled up at him, and he smiled back.
"Now, who wants to watch some TV?"