It was originally Dean's idea. Of course, Castiel had said nothing against it, since he didn't often say anything about anything any more, but nonetheless, Team Free Will ended up in a bar in the middle of Lebanon, near enough to the bunker that they could walk in case of getting too drunk, which none of them expected.
Dean had donned Cas in some of his clothes, old and worn, but still comfortable enough, as well as attractive. They made Cas feel a little bit better, but nothing had healed his broken heart since the angels fell. Smiles from Dean, a new book, Sam's uncontrolled laughter, killing Metatron...nothing made Castiel feel like the angel he used to be. Dean constantly told him that he used to be a dick, and that him as a human was far better, but shockingly, that did nothing for his near non-existent self esteem.
So, Castiel dragged himself out of his room and shuffled after Dean and Sam down the path to the bar, looking down at his feet as he walked. While most of being human was either painful, annoying, or outright horrid, there were some things that he could now appreciate. The sight of his breath making a fog like creation in the cold night, the hard crunch of his boots on the freshly fallen snow, the obvious sight of snowdrifts carefully piled for optimal sledding; it all made being human almost worth it. Almost.
Cas listened idly to the chatter of the other two men in front of him as they spoke of various monsters a hunt could be if they ended up going to Minnesota for it. As of that moment, they decided it could be a rougarou, a ghoul, or a Leviathan, which made Castiel's nose crinkle.
"Aren't all of the Leviathans dead?" Castiel blanched, his gritty voice almost startling the Winchesters. "I would be severely disappointed if that year in Purgatory meant nothing." Cas seemed uninterested, even by this, which worried Sam and Dean. Well, at least it worried Sam. Dean just laughed.
"Yeah, that would be shitty, huh?" Dean said, nudging Cas' arm before whistling and taking the lead again. Sam nearly glared at his brother before he dropped back to walk with Cas.
"He's just trying to avoid the issue at hand, you know how he is." Sam sighed, looking at the silhouette of his brother ahead of them. "You should talk to him tomorrow. You need to get this off your chest." Castiel looked briefly at his chest to make sure there was nothing there, then he realized that it was a euphemism, and he nearly smiled at the fact that he actually got something.
"Thank you, Sam. I'll take that into consideration." Cas said neutrally, and he stepped ahead of Sam, so he was between the oldest and youngest Winchester.
It wasn't much longer that they walked until they got to the bar, and almost right away, Dean was pulled in by some group of scantily clad women, who were all drinking varying drinks that ranged from bright green to almost black in color. Their makeup seemed plastered on, with bright red or pink lips, as well as glittering eyelids. Castiel was nearly sucked in as well, but the long red nails that grasped for him were either pried off or avoided as he stumbled to the actual bar of the establishment. Sam rolled his eyes at his brother, and patted Castiel on the shoulder before he went off to find someone to talk to as well, leaving the ex-angel alone.
Castiel didn't quite know what he liked with alcohol, so he decided to ask someone.
"Excuse me, sir. But could I ask you what you are drinking?" Cas gestured to the goldish brown liquid that was sitting in front of the burly man beside him, and the man looked at Castiel, about to make a rude comment when he saw Cas' eyes and face, which turned the scowl into an inviting grin.
"Oh this? This is a shot. It's not too strong, if you'd wanna start out with something lightweight." The man suggested, and Castiel raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"I didn't know that things could be lighter than other drinks. I would very much enjoy to start out with something like this." Cas decided, and the man ordered another shot for Cas, and Cas went to sip it, but the man laughed and shook his head.
"No, sugar, you shoot it all at once. You don't sip it." He grinned, and the smile seemed somewhat inviting, so Castiel swallowed the entire glass in one go, like he remembered doing years ago with Ellen Harvelle. The liquid burned his throat, but something about it was just...satisfying.
"Can I have another?" Castiel asked, grabbing the second shot and downing that one too. The burn of the harsh liquor was welcome, as he had been finding out much he really deserved some pain like that. And when it came in something like a liquid that hurt, but not enough to make him stop, he welcomed it.
"Don't go too fast there." The man chuckled, watching Cas' throat as it worked around the liquid to get it down as quickly as he could. "I'm Noah, by the way." He said, swallowing down another comment, and Cas nodded, taking another shot, used to the way that his angelic Grace would quickly eliminate any foreign threat, such as alcohol. He had only gotten drunk that one time because of his failing powers and the use of so much liquor at once.
"My name is Cas...Cas, just Cas." He decided not to say the rest of his name, because the Winchesters always used different names when they spoke to people.
"Cas..that sounds so nice. Like a girl's name." Noah pointed out, and Castiel just shrugged. He wasn't a fan of the way humans always gendered names and various duties, but now that he was human, he had to accept that he was part of that.
"So, are you going to buy me a drink, or are we just going to keep talking about nothing?" Castiel asked blandly, knowing how Dean once got a free drink from a waitress, but not knowing the connotations behind the words.
"You want the same thing, or something stronger?" Noah inquired immediately, and Castiel, who had suddenly felt a wave of dizziness hit him, just nodded again. When the dizzy spell cleared, he still noticed how out of focus things were getting, but after some thought, things went back to normal and he didn't feel that anymore.
A drink was put into his hand, and he tossed that one back, wincing at the stronger burn in his throat, this one resembling the feeling of hot coals tumbling down his esophagus, yet it just felt so satisfyingly hurtful.
As the night progressed, Castiel lost track of the number of various shots he took, but the world was beginning to get confusing, especially when he couldn't see Dean or Sam anymore. He just kept drinking whatever was put in his hand, and he was beginning to ramble to Noah.
"They just...don' care 'bout me no more!" Cas slurred, his blue eyes trying to focus on the man beside him. "It's stu-pid!" Castiel exclaimed, spilling his current drink. He then wrinkled his nose. "I...must urinate." He mumbled, shuffling to the restroom near the bar, getting a fond chuckle from the man.
Castiel emptied his bladder, then returned to his barstool, where his drink was waiting for him still. He took a long swing from it, and he immediately felt happier than he did before, which Noah must have seen, because he put his large hand on Castiel's knee.
"You okay, buddy?" Noah asked, and Castiel, while he could barely speak, managed an actual giggle. Castiel, former angel of the Lord, giggled out loud. That just made Noah's now creepy grin become even bigger as his hand drifted up Cas' thigh until it rested between his legs. Castiel's head swung down to look at his crotch, which did nothing more than sit there, and then he looked back up at Noah, who leaned over to pressed his smelly lips to Castiel's neck.
Castiel just sat there, his mouth slightly open as he felt a wet tongue press over his sensitive veins, and Cas whined, shaking his head and shutting his eyes. The feeling of the itchy stubble that Noah possessed was not enjoyable, and neither were the lips that were slowly working their way to Cas' lips.
"Shh...don't worry baby, I'll take good care of you." Noah whispered into his ear, before dull teeth started to nibble on the lobe, then Noah pulled away just enough for Cas to open his mouth to respond. Instead of words, a garbled sentence came out.
"Don'...wan' no...nothing." Castiel stammered.
"Of course you do, sweetheart. I'll make sure you feel so much better by tomorrow mornin'." Noah drawled, and he pulled Castiel from his seat, letting Cas lean against his side as the alcohol and...whatever else was making Cas feel so out of it, took hold of his capability for motion. Castiel stumbled over his own feet as Noah led him through the crowd, his hand firmly on Castiel's backside the entire time. Castiel couldn't help but want to speak out about it, but his tongue weighed more than a million pounds at the moment, and speech was simply not possible.
Castiel was led to a dark and dirty room near the back of the bar, where he assumed Noah had been too many times with other young men or women. A bed suddenly appeared beneath his back, and his clothes began to come off, one article at a time. Castiel's eyes were closed, but tears welled up in the corners before spilling down the side of his cheeks.
"P-Please..." Castiel choked out of his thick throat, begging for the man to stop before he went any further. It was at that point that his boxers were slid down his long legs and tossed into the oblivion that must have been beside the bed, since he knew his clothes would not be there when this all ended.
"Just lay back and enjoy this, Cas. I know you will." A calloused hand touched the inside of Castiel's thigh, then his other thigh, pulling them apart so Cas was spread out beneath the vile man. Something hot and thick pressed against his virginal opening, nothing to ease it's way at all.
"I-I wan' ta...g-go home." Castiel sobbed, full tears coming down his face as the man pressed inside of him painfully, but his thick tongue and numb body would not respond to his mind's screams of pain. It wasn't until the thick length was fully seated inside of him that the door opened, making Cas open his tear soaked eyes, somewhat blinded by the brighter light from the hallway.
"Hey, bub. Find your own room." Noah snapped, making sure whoever was at the door couldn't see Cas' face.
"H-Hep..." Castiel whispered, praying to his absent Father that whoever was there would hear his plea.
"Cas?" A familiar voice said, but Cas wasn't able to place it before the member inside of him was pulled out, and he could feel something happening, some kind of fighting. Cas just laid there limply, too caught up in his invalid body's lack of movement to notice that it was Dean who was beating Noah to a pulp on the disgusting floor of the dark room.
And Castiel was also too far gone to notice his clothes being loosely draped over his naked and bloody groin, the hand in his hair that wiped the sweat away, the tears that fell on his cheeks, and the rough voice that continued to say he was sorry.
Upon Castiel's reorientation into the world of the living, which was so cruelly called 'waking up', he noticed a searing pain in his mind, his ass, and in his heart. Cas' eyes flung open when he realized that he could be in the clutches of Noah still, since he could feel a warmth beside him, and he looked around, the darkness in the room not telling him anything. He stumbled to one of the two doors that were in the room, crying out when the pain in his thighs suddenly became present as well. He opened one of the doors, and he found a bathroom, which he staggered into. He shut and locked the door behind him, since he knew he had startled whoever was in bed with him.
Castiel flung himself into the shower and turned it on as high and as cold as it would go, sitting in the bathtub and sobbing into his hands, hearing a pounding on the door, which not only frightened him, but made him angry. Why had Noah hurt him like that? He had seemed so nice, so kind, and yet something had happened that had made the human want to harm Cas. He didn't understand it.
Cas was startled when the door opened, and Castiel screamed, shutting his eyes and turning his head away from the door, only to feel familiar warm hands turn his head.
"Cas! Cas! Cas, calm down, shhh...it's me. It's Dean!" Dean tried to say gently, but he ended up shouting over Cas' sounds of terror. Cas barely heard it, but something registered, and he opened his bloodshot eyes.
"D-Dean?" Castiel's voice was cracked, hollow, but hopeful as he looked at the green eyed hunter.
"Yeah, it's okay. The dickhead that hurt you is gone, Cas. I promise. I cleaned you up last night, but nothing else happened." Dean swore, and he turned the shower off, but instead of pulling Cas out of the bathtub, he climbed in with him, moving Castiel's ratty black hair out of his eyes. "Are you okay? What even happened?"
"I...I wanted a drink...b-but I had no idea what to get." Castiel croaked out, every word becoming easier to speak, but that didn't mean it was easy to talk about it. "I-I asked the man beside me, and he told me that the gold liquid was not too strong, and after a few shots of that...I-I went to something stronger. B-But everything changed after I came back from the bathroom. I-I couldn't speak...I-I could hardly move..." Castiel shut his eyes tightly, the events of the night before all too clear in his mind.
"Oh Cas...I had no idea." Dean whispered, his eyes wide at Cas' story. He had just seen the aftermath of the evening, but he knew nothing of beforehand. Gentle hands came to cup Cas' face, then wiped away his tears. Cas leaned forward and pressed his ear to Dean's chest, listening to the uneven heart beat of the man.
"H-How could you have known? I went off on my own." Cas mumbled, blaming himself for what had happened. If he had just gone with Dean, or been smarter about it...maybe it would not have happened.
"Don't blame yourself though, Cas. It is never the victim's fault. It's the rapist's fault for being a complete dick and waste of living space." Dean spat, letting Castiel lean on him, knowing that he needed it. "You couldn't have stopped him. He would have gotten you there one way or another, but that's because he's awful, not because of anything you did or didn't do."
Castiel nearly believed that.
But he knew better.
It would take a long time for him to heal from this, but with Dean's tender gestures and his understanding for what had happened...Cas knew he could do it.