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Louder Than Words

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Trust is a funny thing - so difficult to gain, but so easy to break, so fragile. He’d know, of course, shifting over the covers, a terse breath passing through his softly clenched teeth. A trust so deep that, after the amount of times it’d been broken, it seemed to come back like a scar, tougher but not unfeeling. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure if the skin would heal, ever, bitter words, narrowed eyes, bleeding, festering wounds that he had indirectly torn open, though felt no less guilty about, no less ashamed. He couldn’t call himself a victim of circumstance, that would be too easy, a coward’s way out.


                Neither of them gave it out easy. They couldn’t, not in their line of work, much less a lifestyle choice as much as just their lives, what they were born into, what they were born to do. If they couldn’t trust someone to hold their six, to cover their blind spot, then they weren’t stubborn enough to risk their lives. If they couldn’t trust someone to do the same, then they wouldn’t throw themselves over a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, willing to fill themselves with shrapnel and fire.


                    He heard a low groan behind him, throaty, breathless. It wasn’t the same he heard on the field, the signal that an incendiary round had torn through kinetic shields, imbedding in the flesh and burning it from the inside. It was the better kind, his senses hyperaware of the sound of skin upon skin.


                “You look good like this,” Came the voice that he thought –knew – he could trust, husky, deep. That mutual feeling ran deeper than just when under fire. He could sense it whenever his lips were on his throat, when his calloused fingertips danced fleetingly over twitching muscles and the receptive, shaky huff afterwards.


                It seeped through barriers, through skin turned to steel from the effects of constant war, into the bare light and warmth left inside, some place nice that not even a few had managed to find, let alone indulge in. Teeth sunk into his lower lip, he guessed it was more important then he’d ever realized, in and out of battle, dropped walls and guards, tender but firm hands guiding him along.


                It was different, too, more than just them watching your back, but allowing them to take your sight all together, your mobility and your control – showing a weakness more primal than words or feeling, completely trusting them with the fragility of naked form, bare and exposed.


                He knew the word, pushed back as far as possible in his head, if it were to become too much, leather rubbing against the insides of his wrists and around his ankles. But he was stubborn, overly, maybe. It would take much more than just being arched over, completely shed with his legs forced apart, both hands bound to the bar between them and a smooth cloth tied around to the base of his skull for him to cave.


                Much more.


                Shepard had a high threshold for pain, and maybe that would pull out through the pain of pleasure, curling his hands into light fists before absently linking his fingers together.


                ‘It’s always the quiet ones…’ Shepard had chuckled when it was suggested, over morning coffee, of all things, Kaidan blowing the rising steam from the top of his cup, small knowing smile on his lips and hair dishevelled from the night before, datapad in his lap creasing the material of his loose sweats.


                Maybe Shepard should have known, having let Kaidan undress him and trying to do the same to the Major before his hands were slapped away.


                ‘Guess this is your mission, huh?


                He was introduced to each of the items, but he barely took them in, focusing more on keeping his cool than anything else, keeping his itching hands to himself. His back had popped, warm fingers brushing over the backs of his thighs as he was moved over, spine curving, knees bent and pressing into the covers.


                ‘You remember the word, don’t you?’ Kaidan had asked, murmured against his bare shoulder, fingertips tracing the outline of his vertebrae through his skin.


                ‘Yeah…’ He’d responded as his wrists were bound to the spread bar attached between his ankles, the material comfortable but with no give, tugging a little on them.


                ‘…And you trust me, right?’ The dusky cloth was slipped over his eyes, feeling it tighten as it was tied.


                ‘I think… I think that’s pretty obvious, so far,’


                Kaidan had laughed, softly, his lips running along one of the cracked, cybernetic scars that stretched over Shepard’s ribs. The sound, instantly, seemed as though it had amplified tenfold, when his eyes were covered, becoming richer and sending a small shiver down his spine


                ‘I’m gonna’ make you feel alive.’


                There was just something in breaking down that perfect, yet dysfunctional military status, the crisp salutes and setback shoulders, the passive expressions and diehard loyalty, that got him hot. He was completely at Kaidan’s mercy, ass up, muscles tensed, limbs out of commission. He was weak, unable to protect himself, as it stood. And he’d given him the opportunity to see him like that at all, which was a feat of strength in its own right, with Shepard’s will as strong and unforgiving as the skin weaves which thickened his surface.


                He’d moved a chair to get the best seat in the house, by the foot of the bed, one boot propped up onto it with a perfect view of Shepard widened out, his half hard cock hanging between his thick thighs. He didn’t have to tell him, he would have to know the sort of effect he had, his planes of muscle and weathered, tanned skin, darkened and lightened with smatterings of scars both of flesh and cybernetics.


                Kaidan palmed over his groin, a slightly trembling breath passing by his lips as he hooked the thumb of his other hand beneath his shirt, hitching it up from his belly, feeling sweat already bead at the nape of his neck. Shepard was picture perfect, the side of his face pressed into the covers, the faintest of flushes over the bridge of his nose, slowly edging down his neck.


                His skin flecked in gooseflesh where he touched himself, over the hard rises in his stomach, the bumps along his ribs. He didn’t have to think that it was Shepard touching him; the mere sight of him tied up was more than enough as he brushed a thumb over his nipple, the flesh hardening beneath the touch and in the cold, circulating air of the cabin.


                Licking over his lips, Kaidan sucked the lower in between his teeth, rounding the perked nub with his blunt nail, blood running south through his veins.


                “Look really good like this, Shepard,” He breathed, hearing a small grunt from the other.


                “Well… I’m glad you’re enjoying the view…”


                Smirking lopsidedly, Kaidan lifted his boot, giving him a soft nudge against the stretched curve where the top of his thigh met his flank, the man bristling, cock twitching.


                “…This isn’t gonna’ be one of those things where I get beaten up and won’t be able to move in the morning cycle, is it?”


                “It can be.” Fingers pinched around his nipple, rolling the flesh, other hand holding the zipper of his fatigues, Kaidan tipped his head, watching Shepard’s blindfolded face, noting the minute narrowing of his brow before clarifying: “Maybe those things but not through beatings. But you’re going to be thoroughly fucked when I’m done with you, Commander.”


                It wasn’t often Shepard heard him swear, and it held that dirty attraction for him, the burn of his words and their implications as well as the sound of the zipper being pulled down. Kaidan’s shoulders slid down the back of the chair as he delved his hand beneath the parted waist of his pants and the band of his briefs, feeling over his length with scant touches before taking it out, the flesh hard and heavy in his palm.


                Hells pressed into the edges of the bed, Kaidan parted his knees, tightening his grip around the base of his prick, watching his hand as he firmly stroked up to the weeping head. He hissed in a sharp breath as he rubbed his thumb over the slit, the bead of moisture seeping down along the underside of the heated flesh.


                “Shepard,” Kaidan murmured, fingering at the sensitive skin beneath the tip of his length, spreading the slickness. He could just imagine how tight he would be, how he would let out a long groan as he was filled, biting into the covers, clenching up, toes curling.


                Squeezing his eyes shut, Shepard may have tried to ignore the sounds, if only to save his own torment, but he couldn’t, with hearing being the only thing he had left since Kaidan wasn’t touching him and he couldn’t see. His dick hardened as the other moaned his name, standing attent curved up to his stomach.


                It was part his anticipation, part his imagination, which turned him on, shifting his knees over the covers and hearing Kaidan hitch in response. It was a kind of manipulation, sort of, Shepard thought, but he was silently loving every minute of it, so far.


                Watching those muscles flex and strain beneath the skin, the warmed, glowing scars that accented it, Kaidan tipped his head back, leering at him through his lashes. He knew Shepard would be doing the exact same thing if his eyes weren’t covered, fingers making passes over his cock, fingertips tracing the beating veins.


                “You’re gonna’ be raw all over… You won’t even remember your own name,” He whispered, just loud enough for Shepard to hear, and knowing that he did, that silver tongue licking over the corners of his mouth, those lips and hot mouth he just wanted to bury himself in.


                He didn’t expect it, really, of the Commander, that he would be that good at sucking dick, but maybe it was just those eyes, storm blue, and the simple fact that he was sticking his prick down the throat of the strongest man in the Galaxy that got him off.


                “…Oh yeah?” Shepard eventually responded, images in his head going wild, swallowing thickly.


                “Yeah. “ Kaidan’d keep him tied up like that for days, if it were possible. But with the end of the world hanging over their heads, he would just have to make this last until the idea of sleep for the next day was more important than the fact of pleasure or sights or smells, as much as he disliked that.


                He was already pushing it by getting this much. Though, he was just taking word from the Commander himself, to take time off once every while, despite Shepard never taking those words of advice to heart. Kaidan was just taking them for the both of them, squeezing around the flesh in his palm.


                The Major had restraint, both emotionally and physically, though seeing Shepard like that, after so long of just picturing it in his head, was raking at his patience to prolong something they both wanted. It was better, when waited out, to see him shaking and moaning, gritting out his name as he’s turned to a puddle of hormones.


                Spurred by those thoughts alone, and deft self-touches, it didn’t take long before Kaidan came over his fingers, white hot jets smearing against his belly and chest with a shuddery sound as he wrung himself off the feeling, the hair at the back of his neck standing on edge.


                Shepard knew that sound all too well, his mouth twisting as he felt a drop of pre-come drip off the head of his swollen cock, in both the lack of attention and hungry want. He could pace himself, usually, but he didn’t know how long he was going to be tied up like that, just waiting. That was probably the worst part, thinking something might be coming, when it might not eventuate at all, the idea that Kaidan might actually just leave him there for the entire night and untie him in the morning unsated crossing his mind and making him huff.


                He continued along that train of thought, thinking about how loud he could yell until EDI or somebody realized to bail him out of the bondage. What he didn’t want to think about was how awkward that would be, and how much longer he was going to be achingly hard.


                His head suddenly jumpstarted over, all of those images flushing out to be replaced by static once he felt a warm tongue on him, shoulders pressing harder into the bed as he instinctively lifted his hips up, breath catching in his throat. The wet muscle ran up from the apex of his thigh, the scant scathe of teeth over the flesh of his ass to the small of his back, soft lips pressing into the dimples at the base of his spine.


                “You’ll like this, Shepard, a lot… I know.”


                Those words only served to make him hotter, to make the blush spread down his neck, heating up his already flushed skin.


                “Then just… give it to me, always need to be so elaborate, Alenko?”


                “Your patience wearing…?”


                “…You could say that.”


                Another painfully sultry chuckle.


                “Well, you’re doing… great, I mean, you haven’t shouted yet.”


                “Just wait and see.”


                “…Do this for me?”


                Shepard couldn’t exactly deny him that, and there was no way he was saying that one word that would undo all that he’d been tied up for, whatever retort he could give being swallowed up as that swell tongue moved back down the crease of his flank, the teasing tip rounding the sensitive skin of his hole. Turning his face into the covers, he muffled his, somewhat, embarrassing sounds against them, strong hands gripping at his thighs, feeling him up.


                He felt the nails of one of them sink into him, sparking a slightly painful pleasure that jolted straight to his neglected cock. The fingers kept him spread open as the other hand slid beneath him, to his stomach, palming over the ridged and tight muscles there, noting every twitch and flicker as the wet heat worked over him.


                Mouthing at him, Kaidan gave a low groan, hazel eyes kept half lidded to watch Shepard’s reactions, pressing the flat of his tongue firmly against the tensed flesh before pulling him back, leaving him thoroughly slick. He knelt on the foot of the bed, shirt discarded, Shepard set up right before him. It was amusing, almost, that he would chose that time, out of any, to bury his face into the sheets, hiding himself, smirking lopsidedly as his spine jagged straight, Kaidan sliding the pads of his fingers over his entrance.


                “Want them, Shepard?” He continued to absently rub along him until he got an answer, the voice surprisingly small from someone who could talk down a horde of Krogan.


                “Yeah… Kaidan…”


                He absolutely ate up the noise he got in response to his thumb pressing into the other, down to the knuckle. Shepard greedily took the finger in, needing to feel something, anything, arching his hips back before feeling the pull in his shoulders and wincing, the leather around his wrists rubbing at his skin. Every nerve ending in his body felt alight, hearing every single sound and feeling every single sensation – the creak of the bed as Kaidan shifted and the slid of the sheets beneath his knees, the slightly quickened breath of the man behind him and the crooking of the finger against him.


                A cuss choked out from his drying throat as Kaidan continued to feel over that one spot, jaws parted, panting softly.


                “More,” He asked, the simple word sticking in his chest before he forced it out.


                “What was that?” Was the faux reply, Shepard growling and more insistently pushing back. He wasn’t good with teasing, and this was just a whole new level, a near whorish moan coming from him when he was given what he wanted, three fingers pressing into him slowly, stretching him out.


                A low ‘yes’ came from him, his nails digging into the palms of his bound hands, peppered kisses and the scratch of stubble running over his lower back, making him curve down, ass up and spread. The fingers parted in him, being pulled out before pushed back in, deep. He liked it, to be tended to, for once not being the one who did all the work. It was definitely something he could get used to coming home to.


                The gorgeous feeling slowly melting him down left much too soon, about to hiss at him again before a hand closed around his aching cock, fingers that knew him well working firmly along his length.


                Laying another bite into Shepard’s flank, sure to leave a teeth mark in the morning, Kaidan licked over him, slicking the bare tip of his tongue down the crease of his ass and seam of his balls to his prick, wet lips mouthing along to the tip, accenting his curled digits as he stroked him. Taking away the prime senses was quite a thing, the Major easily able to tell how close he was already, rolling his tongue over the head and catching the oozing, salty liquid.


  1.                 He could see every twitch, every quake in his thighs and stomach and chest, how the muscles would tense with his sharp breaths in and tremble as he exhaled. Making another pass with his mouth, Kaidan pulled away, pressing his thumb into the underside of the base, Shepard outright growling that time and pointlessly whipping his head back to glare at him through the blindfold.   


                “Kaidan—!“ He was shushed mid-anger.


                “None of that, you’re almost done, Shepard, I swear,” Kaidan returned, reaching back to the floor and tugging over a bag he’d set. How he got half of this stuff on board the Normandy without being found out, he would never know, Hell, he was surprised Shepard hadn’t even found it, yet, pulling it up onto the bed. Rustling around inside, he pulled out two things: a plain, silver ring, and a small bottle of lube.


                Letting go of the Commander’s prick, the flesh bobbing back up to stand hard at the man’s stomach, Kaidan held the ring in his palm, flicking the cap of the lube open with his thumb and squeezing it out into his hand. He reached back beneath him, giving only scant touches as to keep him at bay, slicking him over and easing the cool band up from the head.


                Shepard shuddered hard, knowing exactly what it was and trying to squirm his way out of it to no avail. The flesh gave beneath the pressure and the velvety liquid, feeling the ring settle firmly around the base of his cock. Gritting his teeth and baring them, his breath came out harder.


                “Come on,”


                “You can always say the word, Commander, you know that,” Kaidan returned, calm as ever, smoothing the rest of the lubricant over Shepard’s hole and snuffing out whatever comeback he could have gotten from the man, his other hand pulling out something else from the duffel bag.


                In his clean hand he held a sizable, curved vibrator, steely in colour, and specifically Turian shaped. He knew Shepard would like something like that, smirking again, lopsidedly, as he poured the rest of the liquid onto it, evenly lacing it.


                Shepard was caught in the dark, then, Kaidan suddenly going silent as his entire form pulsed in wanting. His bleary head sluggishly raced with what he could be doing, or planning, the fact that he might have left without him hearing or feeling it during his momentary flurry of grumbling. He didn’t know what to expect, anymore.


                “Kaidan, wh—Ah…”


                The blunt, pointed tip pressed against him, too cold for it to be flesh of a kind, his hands awkwardly fisting into the damp covers beneath him as it pushed further in. He knew the shape well enough, flushing deeper, huffing out his breath at the stretch and pain burn.


                And Shepard did groan, the sound drawn out, while he was being filled up, Kaidan watching how his body swallowed the vibrator up and biting into the side of his lower lip, feeling himself growing hard again. His effect was too good, too hot, even if Shepard didn’t realize it himself, how he pivoted his hips up to take the rest in, just to the edge of the bulbous base.


                “Fuck…” Shepard managed between shaky breaths, his brow knitting, adjusting to the thing inside him. He wasn’t given much time, however, before he heard a faint click, vibrations thrumming all through him, his entire body jerking, head tipping up. His jaws parted wide, hips subconsciously thrusting forward and back until he was held still, muscles spasming. The ribbed edge of the vibrator was pushed down against his prostate, only making his sounds louder and more choked, his cock beating with built, waiting release, stopped by the damned ring.


                If he knew Shepard was going to have this reaction, Kaidan would have done this sooner, he guessed the man hadn’t been stuck before, at least, not by another person, and most likely not while tied up. He slowly pulled the vibrator out, keeping him stable with a firm hand on a side of his ass, the skin already blemished with nail and bite marks. Pushing it back in, he made sure to have it run directly over that spot, another, loud curse coming from the other, his panting deeper, more choppy.


                His prick was stiff already. He just wanted him, but he wanted this, too, keeping up the blissful torture before he heard the quiet, barely there pleads falling past Shepard’s lips, the way the lower was about to split with how hard he bit it. That just took the cake.


                “Yeah… Alright,” Kaidan breathed, taking the vibrator from him and switching it off, dropping it aside. “Christ, John… You should see yourself…” He pushed himself up onto his knees, gripping Shepard’s flank, keeping him spread – he was still wet enough to let him slide in easy. “Open, sweating, begging,” Taking one hand away from his abused hips, the Major held the base of his prick, aligning himself, having the head rub over his stretched entrance.


                The tremors still wracked through Shepard’s body once the vibrator was taken away, attempting to steel himself and failing. The teeth finally came out of his lip, the bruised skin showing dents, one of them with a small bead of blood forming at the pit.


                Kaidan could just imagine what his face looked like without the blindfold obscuring half of it: brow quivering, sheened with sweat, blown blue eyes fluttering in the corners, darkened in lust. Ducking his head, he wet his lips, pushing into him to the hilt. He still felt good, perfect, even, after all the treatment he’d subjected him to. The Major didn’t realize he had been still, savouring in it, until Shepard spoke up, his voice husky, like it was difficult for him to speak:


                “Move, Kaidan…”


                Smoothing a hand up Shepard’s ridged back, over his scars, Kaidan pressed his the heel of his palm between his shoulders, giving him what he wanted and pulling out, sharply rolling back in, the reverberation of flesh upon flesh resounding through the cabin. Sparks of biotic discharge jolted from the tips of his fingers, giving the skin beneath his touch light, but tangible shocks, the jerking and shaking coming back to the other, scars glowing bright. His name tripped off Shepard’s tongue like a mantra each time he was fucked, the skin of his back and ribs rising with slight red irritation where the electricity licked him.


                The waist of Kaidan’s pants rode down to his bent knees, arching over the Commander and scraping his nails down to the nape of his neck, holding it, the side of Shepard’s face pressing further into the covers. John did end up biting into them. He was predictable, sometimes, but it didn’t make it any less hot, those fingers bound beneath him shakily keeping a hold of the sheets.


                Definitely whorish moans came from him between his broken words, feeling like there was a barely controlled fire kept deep in his gut, waiting impatiently for flood gates, a near constant stream of clear fluid seeping out of the tip of his prick. Curling his toes, one side of the blindfold hitched up, slightly, with the rough movements, shoved forward each time Kaidan thrust into him. The light was blinding to his formally covered eye, erratically blinking to quickly get used to it, gazing back at the other. His vision was blurred, paired with the delirium in his head; he could barely make out the figure behind him.


                Kaidan was right. His eyes were blown wide, the Major’s head tipped down to watch himself as Shepard’s body took him fully in. That utterly wanton expression, the flush, the bitten lips, the everything, was what got Kaidan off when he eventually realized those eyes were meeting his own, alongside the heated drag over his dick, a pulse of biotic blue rippling through his form, shifting his eye colour from hazel to bright azure for a fraction of a second as he came deep inside him.


                The electricity passed on through the contact, riding out the perfect high with jagged thrusts and a twisted moan.


                Shepard actually whimpered, feeling the wetness fill him, squeezing his eyes shut, his entire body coiled up tight. A part of him wanted it to end, while another wanted it to last forever. As Kaidan pulled out, he instantly felt empty, the thick come oozing out from him. He couldn’t bring the pleads to his mouth, to his lips, the begging that was answered once he felt bare touches against his cock.


                Leaning up, shaky on his knees, Kaidan shallowly caught his breath, a drop of sweat rolling down the back of his neck as he reached beneath Shepard, fingers closing around the silver band. He brought his other hand up, taking the blindfold away from him completely before twisting the ring off.


                That was all it took for Shepard to wind entirely undone, coming hard over the dishevelled covers without even a sound, but a strangled breath, the feeling overtaking him. It was a perfect sight to see – the would-be Saviour of the Galaxy, broken down into a slutty mess.


                Shepard’s exhales came out uneven, loud huffs as the feeling washed through him, curled up on himself as much as he really could with his limbs still bound. Kaidan noted that, wiping the back of his wrist over his forehead before reaching down, undoing his wrists with tensed fingers. It took a while for the Commander’s body to register the lack of restraint, eventually slumping forward with a deep groan, burying his face into the pillows, each of his muscles relaxing one by one.


                Shucking out of his boots and wrinkled fatigues, Kaidan moved onto unshackling his ankles, lightly touching over the red marks that were burnt into his skin from the constant rubbing of the material. He tossed the spreadbar aside, shoving the other things off the bed as the other stretched himself out slowly.


                “God…” Shepard muttered, wetting his lips and deliberately shifting his arms up beneath his head. If he was thinking anything in his swimming head, it was that he was so glad he’d trusted Kaidan to do that to him.




                “Too good.” He was going to be feeling it in the morning cycle, lifting a hand back and blindly patting for the Major.


                “Glad I did it?”


                “…Yeah. Now shut up and get over here.”