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not crying on a sunday

Chapter Text

It was raining heavily and Yoongi quickly lamented his decision to run back into his classroom, just for the sake of his stupid notebook. But then again, he was afraid if it landed in the hand of the not-so-amicable such as Namjoon. Well, Namjoon wasn’t one he would call evil (more like demonic, maybe). No, his only problem with the self-proclaimed monster of rap was the fact that he was such a snoop, Yoongi worried that his so-called notebook (okay, up to this point he was still denying the fact that it was his diary or rather his journal that he had left at the classroom) would fall to the hand of the one and only big-mouthed Kim Namjoon.

So yeah, that was the reason why he was sitting in his chair, waiting for the rain to stop, scribbling unnecessary random words on his notebook. That and also the story of how he was acquainted to the new kid named Park Jimin, who was sitting right behind him with red stinging eyes.

 

-.+.-

 

Yoongi and Namjoon had been friends for god knows how long. Their mom knew each other, their grandmother knew each other, heck, even their great-grandmother probably knew each other. That alone stood for the fact that Yoongi and his family never really left the small town.

Yes, it was a small town that came with a complete package of woods, mountains and those you could probably see in the drawing of a 5-years-old, a morbid little town named Yeoryang-myeon somewhere in Jeongseon county. Jeongseoun county itself was already a small region in Gangwon province with very little inhabitants, surrounded by mountains and was only packed with travelers during winter, since it was where the rich spent their money to go skiing. And of course the Mins had to settle in the little town of Yeoryang-myeon, which is basically another two hours ride north east of Jeongseon-eup, right between rocky hills, snaking rivers and acres of woods. 

Some even called this place a village. He didn’t like to call it a village though, somehow stating how traditional and old-fashioned this place was (and unconditionally stated that he as the inhabitant of this place was as old-fashioned as the place itself). But then again, only having mere thousands of citizen and the fact that they didn’t have a fucking cinema, he would certainly call this place a village.

Yoongi was completely fed up with his little town. Then again, the Min was apparently trying to make their life a tradition with prohibiting their son to step into the outside world. Having a workshop near the train station and practically being the only place where the inhabitants of their small town brought their motors and engines to be repaired, his father had this idea that Yoongi would fit perfectly right there, continuing the family’s business alongside his big brother. His idea of a future was completely different from them and Yoongi himself thought that his parents’ brain capacity compete those of a caveman. He simply found reasoning with his parents would lead him to nothing. Thus, he avoided his family the best he could and amused himself with the company his small town could leave to offer. 

There was Namjoon, his best friend who was so passionate about music. He was, like Yoongi, trying to reach his dream of Seoul and the life of an artist that awaited them. What differed them, was the fact that the Kims had a more evolved brain than the Mins, that their only son separation was a very thing to be expected (or the fact that Namjoon’s parents were just trying to get rid of their son). Then there was Hoseok, who would probably leave their small town as well, trying to pursue his passion in dancing. Seokjin who was the most delicate of them all still didn’t know where to go, whereas Taehyung would probably dream to be a lumberjack with that weird brain of his.

Their little band of friend embarked on their journey together. Basketball was a must each week until they soon became the pioneer of the school first ever basketball team during their first year. Then a year later came Jungkook, who was one year younger than all of them, and thus being the only one who was not in the same class but still an official member of their little gang.

It was the beginning of their third and final year of high school, when a certain stranger entered their life in the form of a Park Jimin.

“His name is Park Jimin. He just moved from Seoul,” was the only thing that Yoongi remembered. It was clearly an unforgettable day since no one in his right mind – Yoongi thought – would ever leave Seoul for a place like this.

The so-called Park Jimin turned out to be a boy shorter than he was (by 1 cm and that was a huge thing to celebrate for, since he was always one of the shortest in class and thus had been the object of mockery even amongst his best friends) with timid eyes and head that refused to look at you in the eyes. He looked like some antisocial introverted freak who spent his times alone at the corner, someone whom Yoongi 100% believed wouldn’t be his to call as friend.

“You could sit next to Taehyung,” the teacher said.

Which was right behind Yoongi, but he clearly didn’t care.

It was the first day and he heard nothing from the boy but a timid little whisper of a “I miss home,” that took more of a sigh and clearly wasn’t his to be heard.

 

-.+.-

 

If Yoongi recalled, it had been almost a week since Park Jimin sat right behind him each day with nothing to say and nothing to be heard.

“He never said anything,” Taehyung said once. 

“Isn’t that strange? He spent his recess alone in the classroom,” Seokjin said again. They were warming up for their basketball game as usual and Park Jimin had just suddenly slipped into their conversation.

“That guy’s a weirdo. And here I am thinking that no one in their right mind would ever move into such a place like this.”

It was surprisingly Jungkook who gave the twist to the story.

“No he’s not, hyung. He didn’t move here because he wanted to,” the youngest speak.

“How did you possibly know?” Namjoon raised his curiosity as usual.

“I spent my time with him once. He said he more like he ‘needed’ to move here, though I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Jungkook said.

Yoongi questioned himself why they ever cared to talk about the new kid. He had a clear policy of minding his own business. Besides, he wasn’t Namjoon. He didn't fancy himself with the rumor of Kiseok breaking up with Jihye or how Hyuna was seemingly not a virgin anymore.

“You talk to him?” Taehyung asked. “Wow, I spend my time every day with him, I haven’t even heard him speak beside that first time in front of the classroom.”

“That, Taetae, is because you’re always in that weird head of yours,” Yoongi said with a smile on his face before ruffling the boy’s hair.

 

-.+.-

 

The sky was already dark and the first drops of rain had started to fall when the bell rang and everybody quickly left the school. Friday meant the school would be empty in matter of minutes and Yoongi thought silence would be the only thing that greeted him as he walked into the vacant classroom to retrieve his notebook.

He was wrong. He clearly didn’t expect to hear any sobbing or whatever it was that would greet him the moment he slammed the door open. That, he admitted, was kind of creepy and he would probably be running his ass off if his eyes didn’t lay on the sight of a Park Jimin, sitting on his chair with his hand on his face, crying.

“I-,”

It was plain awkward.

“-am just going to take my notebook,” he said, trying to avoid looking into the other boy’s eyes. Walking into a girl crying was awkward enough and here he was having a boy cried in front of him. Guys weren’t supposed to cry (or at least that was what Yoongi believed. The exception of it all was certainly Hoseok who would burst into tears every time they watched a horror movie). Then again, it was none of his business. He walked towards his chair and quickly retrieved his notebook before the rain started to pour. It was clearly visible from the window pane and the thundering sound in the distant. Sighing, Yoongi didn’t have any choice but to wait. And so he sat down, thinking that the awkwardness was a little price to pay instead of a red nose, soaking books and soggy shoes that needed days to be dried. That was pretty much the reason why he was stuck in a classroom with Jimin behind him, who once again didn’t say another word.

He just sat there and Yoongi thought that maybe the boy was waiting for the rain to stop as well. Hell, he could just walk outside of the classroom and wait somewhere else within this school, couldn’t he? The problem was, Yoongi wasn’t called Motionless Min for nothing. Walking outside of the classroom just felt too troublesome for him. Yeah, he was indeed that lazy. Besides, he had as much right as the boy to use the classroom now, didn't he?

With very little thing to do and conversation not being an option, he opened his so-called notebook and started to write instead.

 

There was this new brat in school.

 

He realized it was a bit stupid to write about someone who was clearly sitting right behind him.

 

He was weird. I walked into him crying alone in the classroom.

 

It was none of business anyway. Why the hell would he write about the boy? Slamming the book shut, Yoongi just decided to stare into nothing. Heck, he could even try to be nothing in this very awkward situation, disappearing into thin air or simply being invisible. He couldn't help but to feel a pair of eye drilling its way into his skull. He couldn't even brush the fact that there was someone behind him who had clearly been crying. He could normally pretend for this awkward situation to be non-existent, but this time he found himself only feeling more and more uncomfortable (and probably so did the other boy).

“Okay I can’t take this anymore,” Yoongi sighed, turning his chair around to face Jimin behind him. The boy shuddered, clearly not expecting him to even start a conversation.

“Hi, my name is Min Yoongi," he half-heartedly said.

The boy arched his eyebrow and maybe for the very first time, he could see him actually making eye contact with anyone, chin raised and all of that. That also made him aware of how Jimin had cheeks that resembled that of a bun one couldn't help not to pinch it (okay he was clearly digressing now). He looked younger than he was supposed to be, with soft feature and full lips. Those wide eyes of his, though, were red and puffy from crying and Yoongi knew the boy must have spent quite a time to dry his eyes out, rubbing them with the back of his hand.

"I know," the boy squeaked.

So he did have a voice.

"You do?" he answered, sounding as stupid as he ever could to his own ear.

"I know you're friends with Taehyung and Jungkook. You guys do basketball on Thursday."

The boy might have known about it from Jungkook all along, but Yoongi was clearly not in the mood for making an already depressed boy even more pathetic with his snarky comments. Thanked god he didn’t blurt out the ‘your face look ridiculous when you’re crying’ that he had in mind earlier.

"You're more observant than I thought," Yoongi replied, settling with a much more subtler version of 'are you a stalker or something'.

Jimin didn't answer him back and resumed to his usual self-brooding, eyes down as if he was having a staring contest with the wooden desk in front of him. That somehow annoyed Yoongi, to the extent he cast his eyes down as well, trying to see whatever it was that the boy was probably seeing that could be so interesting to look at. He found nothing but (as expected) the plain wooden desk. 

"Why are you so-,"

"Look, I'm sorry if I have bothered you, but maybe it's best for me to leave right now," Jimin suddenly said, cutting off his sentence. With that he stood up, taking his bag with him and walked out of the classroom. Yoongi, being just Yoongi, only raised his shoulder and sighed, laid his back against the chair and put his feet on the table. He hadn't had any other reason to race the boy, clearly. The rain hadn’t stopped either and he thought sleeping to kill some time would be something wise to do.

So he did, and that was the sole reason how he woke up to complete darkness and a locked front gate at 10 p.m.

 

(Yoongi unfortunately missed the sight of Park Jimin as well, walking right outside of the school building in the middle of the pouring rain.)

 

-.+.-

 

“Do you know that your name is located right after the word ‘Stupid’ in my dictionary?”

“Then you’re an idiot since Min Yoongi comes way before ‘Stupid’. In fact it’s closer to the word ‘Marvelous’,” Yoongi retorted, elbowing Namjoon while doing so.

“I don’t even know what kind of dictionary you guys use,” Seokjin replied, shaking his head. “Anyway, I brought extra food for you guys. I cooked seaweed soup yesterday so I thought-,”

“Do you really want to kill me, hyung?” Yoongi said again with a playful smirk which made the elder pout.

“Seriously, no one could live with that amount of sesame oil,” Hoseok said with a laugh. Everybody nodded in agreement with the exception of Taehyung who was so weird, he was probably the only one in their group whose taste bud could actually tolerate the most horrible of Seokjin’s cooking.

Recess was a serious of laughter, Taehyung trying to steal bits of food from everyone, Seokjin offering his before he was met with nothing but refusal, Namjoon talking about his newest rap and Hoseok trying to grab Jungkook’s book anytime he brought one with the excuse of ‘studying for the upcoming test.’ Being the golden boy that he was, studying was something that Jungkook had ever been. Being the good senior that they were, they introduced the boy to the real wonder of teenage life (no, he was not talking about adultery stuff, drugs or anything related to the not-so-proper aspect of life, though they did hand the boy some bottle of soju and definitely be the very first one who introduced him to cigarettes).

The six of them usually spent their recess amongst the staircase that led directly to the school’s rooftop with the door wide open. It was Taehyung who found the spot first, picking on the lock during the first day of their second year. They had been spending their time there ever since. At first, they took pride upon this new secret base of theirs, thinking how a school’s rooftop would be something only their little band of misfit could have. Only then they realized that the sun shining atop of them was hellish enough, that they retreated back into the series of stairs, opting to hang there underneath the roof on top of their head instead. They would sit right in front of the door, opening it wide and let the sunlight and warm breeze caressed their skin in between classes.

“Where’s Jungkook, anyway? Don’t tell me he’s off in the classroom studying alone,” Hoseok said.

“Don’t know. Last time I remembered, he was talking to Jimin,” Taehyung answered with Namjoon’s lunchbox on his hand. Yoongi didn't even know how Namjoon's lunchbox ended up on Taehyung's lap.

“Yah, seriously, if he spend too many time in the classroom, he’ll end up being like that Park Jimin. You know he’s such a weirdo I caught him cry-,”

And Jungkook’s “Hey guys,” had stopped him mid-sentence. The five of them turned their heads to see Jungkook emerging from the staircase’s turn with another figure beside him. “So I brought a friend.”

To Yoongi’s mind, this was more like introducing your new boyfriend to a family dinner instead of a simple subtle ‘Let’s welcome the newest member of our group’. The silence was too overwhelming, it gave the exact same feeling of awkwardness, though the most apparent of it all was the fact that the said boy’s eyes were fixed on him this time.

The boy whispered something to Jungkook with a sour face before he quickly turned his back against them and left before another words were even said.

“You’re a cruel human being, Min Yoongi,” Namjoon commented with a sly smile on his face, realizing the scene that just unveiled before them.

Yoongi just returned the smile half-heartedly. The weird thing was how he could actually recalled the, 'I'm sorry if I bother you but maybe it's best for me to leave right now' that was said days ago.

 

Jungkook brought the brat over on recess.

 

 

Chapter Text

It was surprisingly the chubby cheek and brooding-aura of a Park Jimin that greeted him on Thursday. Yoongi raised his eyebrows, making sure not to give away his clear confusion as to why the little-always-seemed-to-be-moping-midget was inside the gym, conversing with Jungkook with a basketball tugged under his arm. It was Thursday and Thursday meant basketball practice. Basketball practice meant dorking around with the five people he called friends and it definitely didn't mean that a Park Jimin was included.

"Jungkook said he used to play basketball in Seoul, so I guess why not," said Hoseok later, tapping his shoulder slightly. "Besides, we do need someone on the bench other than Namjoon," he added with a smirk. (A 'hey, I heard that' could be later on heard from the aforementioned).

Yoongi shrugged, letting a small sigh escaped his mouth as Hoseok gave him a last smile and joined the new kid on the court. It should be okay. In fact, he should not give any damn whatsoever. Or maybe, Yoongi was someone who had a hard time accepting a new figure into his band of misfit. All he meant was how Thursday had been something special. Something six. Not seven. Adding one would completely ruin the balance. For starters, it was an odd number. And of course you know what they say about odd numbers.

Yoongi shook his head. That was clearly exaggerated. So what was wrong with simply adding another person? That didn't mean anything. Clearly didn't mean anything.

 

-.+.-

 

That kid was good. That fact was apparent 10 minutes into the game, or exactly right after that gloomy kid stopped his rebound. Yoongi only let that happen once before he started playing for real and shoot his third 3 pointer of the game.

"Hyung, you're killing us," said Jungkook between his pants.

"If I meant it, you'll be strung up on your neck, hanging lifelessly with your tongue sticking out under the basketball ring. That's how you really kill someone," Yoongi said, wiping his drenched forehead with a smirk on his face.

"You can switch with Namjoon if you want," commented Taehyung to his teammate. This 3 vs 3 match had left Namjoon apparently deserted on the bench with arms crossed and a scowl across his face.

"Nah, I better faint before having Namjoon-hyung replace me," laughed Jungkook.

(And of course the supposed Kim returned this mockery with a, "Hey I'll show you that I can get the ball in the hoop at least once!")

 

-.+.-

 

His Thursday ended with his team's victory and a suggestion from the angry Namjoon that maybe Yoongi should be the one sitting on the bench next week. To make things even, this time Seokjin added, because today Yoongi clearly butchered the new kid. They exchanged words as they walked together outside of the gym, mostly saying how great Jimin was, how cool his move was when he blocked that first rebound, how good he was with his throw and coordination, and the one that itched Yoongi's ear, how Jimin should join their team.

The said boy, didn't talk much during the day, though. His expression was still consisted of the self-brooding low-confident that he was, giving a small comment and reply to this and that before facing his beloved transparent girlfriend that resided on the ground once more. He kept on hiding his gaze (or maybe that kid fell in love with his feet, who knew) and avoiding eye contact.

His friends quickly parted on their own way and again he found himself in a situation much like before. Here they were, alone. Jimin was walking in front of him outside of the school gate to the direction that he was also headed. He kept his mouth silent, eyes still fixed on the Park in front of him, wondering when the figure would disappear to the nearest turn.

Ten minutes past and Yoongi started wondering whether Jimin's house was next to his. Apart from his other friends, Yoongi’s house was in Songcheon-gil, or practically another thirty minutes worth of walking from the heart of Yeoryang-myeon towards the north, requiring him to walk pass three bridges in total and acres of rice field until he got to this particular five minute worth of steep road before he finally reached his house. Though as tiring as it could be, he didn’t really mind the walk, since he got to do what he loved the most in complete silence. That pretty much explained why he clearly didn't need to care about Jimin. So there they were, walking quietly with Yoongi ten foot steps away behind his back.

The much taller boy (by 1 cm only but considered more like 10) turned his head towards the sky. As much as he hated this place, he knew he wouldn't get a sky like this in Seoul, where the red spilled on top of the orange with the purple blooming here and there. The dot that was the moon watched the great painting longingly from across as its beloved paramore descended into a quiet slumber in the west. His nightly companions were waiting far behind, ready to embrace the day the sun had left, seeping night and twinkling wonders into the artist's canvass.

This was his favorite time of the day, with hands resting behind his head and legs walking without being told where to. His minds slowly raced and words would fill up his head before fingers slowly tapping behind his other palm. This was the reason why the thirty minute walk felt like mere minutes, the fresh mountain air and the lovely sky being his sole companion for the day.

His imagination stopped only by the turning of heads in front of him. Jimin turned his head, maybe realizing or wondering who the person walking behind him was. He quickly turned his head again upon realizing the existence of Yoongi, breaking their 2 seconds eye contact.

Again in time like this, thus Yoongi showed how sometimes he was not really the cold-hearted, lazy, not-caring-of-other-people's-business person that his friend thought him to be. Those were actually the personas he proudly carried upon himself.

"Why do you left Seoul?" Yoongi nonchalantly asked.

It felt exactly like the last time they held a proper conversation (well, if you could say that it was a conversation).

Jimin hesitated before answering with a, "Why do you care," three steps later.

Of course. Why should the boy answer to him? To the cold Min Yoongi who made snark comments and had seen him crying alone in a classroom one day.

"No reason," he lightly answered. It was none of his business to begin with. Curiosity was what he would blame. Because of course, who in their right mind would abandon such place like Seoul for a series of rural houses surrounded by forests and rice fields? Turned out that right mind would be Park Jimin.

They were still 10 feet apart without the two of them even looking towards each other's direction (which Yoongi thought was supposed to be done in Jimin's part).

"I left-."

He thought the boy would never answer.

"-because this place is not Seoul. And there are people who don't want me to be there."

They kept on walking without another word. Somehow though, Yoongi could imagine the same tears flowed from the boy's eyes. He found that idea and image somehow annoying. 

"Too bad, nobody wants you to be here either," he commented with a chuckle.

 

 

(Only later would he realize how inappropriate his comment was. Don't blame me, Yoongi thought. That was a joke and a way to hearten up the boy's spirit. Sadly, Jimim didn't think quiet so.)

 

 

Today Jungkook even took the new kid to our Thursday. He seemed to be one hell of a sad bastard.

 

 -.+.-

 

They were conversing. He could hear the low tone behind his head. Why did he care to pay any attention? Clearly because history was giving him a snore. It had reached 'that' level of boredom, that any stupid thing Taehyung was doing started to become more appealing to him. It hd reached 'that' level indeed. Yoongi turned his head around, stealing a glimpse through the corner of his eyes. They were drawing something on a paper.

Stupid, indeed. This time he turned his head only to see the horribly-drawn picture of their history teacher with moustache and a big mole on her nose.

"Make a beard for her," whispered Jimin to Taehyung who'd been the one that held the pen. Taehyung eagerly drew a long spiky beard around her chin. "What if we make her hairy?" said Taehyung. The two clearly didn't realize Yoongi's attention. It just also happened that the three of them didn't realize the teacher, already walking towards their table.

"You're stupid. Add some chest hair. I believe she has them," commented Yoongi, joining the two of them.

"You believe I have what, Mr. Min?"

Yoongi gulped before turning his head towards his teacher's face alongside the two behind him.

"A beautiful face non comparable even to Cleopatra?"

"It appeared that I have some detention for the three of you, young boys."

 

 -.+.-

 

Here he was grateful that the detention that was spoken of was none other than being told to stand outside of the classroom during lesson. It was a relief, in fact, to be freed from the captivity of a boresome lesson, it should be convicted of killing the students with nothing but her monotonous voice and expressionless face. Yoongi wished he could just simply close his eyes and descended into a nice slumber. Yes, he wished to accomplish all that with both his feet still standing.

Jimin was standing next to him, though he didn’t pay any attention whatsoever to the boy. Being here was indeed better than inside, if only he could get the sleep he longed for. It was only the snore that made him turned his head. If Yoongi was having trouble keeping his head up and having his eyes opened for the rest of the day, Taehyung had developed the very ability of sleeping oh-so-soundly with head resting on his shoulder and two very capable feet still holding his figure straight.

But then came something more than just the odd (rather ridiculous) view in front of him. It was oddly implanted in his mind, a series of laughter he never thought would be heard. Then a smile followed soon after, replacing the pout that had been a part of the face for all he'd known. It took him a few seconds to realize that it all came from Jimin. It was Jimin who laughed. Laughing on Taehyung, he persumed, with all that stupid face of his and his half-opened mouth, drooling from one corner of it, making his already stupid face more idiotic than it already was. But Jimin was indeed laughing. It was very hyperbolic of him to think that such noise wouldn't ever come from the mouth of a Park Jimin.

He was staring for too long, it seemed, because the view he'd been enthralled in soon twisted into furrowed brows and red cheek. Only then he realized that Jimin was looking back at him. It didn't take long before it was Yoongi himself who developed the same rosen cheek as the boy. He looked away at that instant, choosing to fix his gaze upon the floor instead.

The air felt heavy around his shoulder.

"No, I wasn't looking at you," he said, still managing to keep his normal tone, something alongside the line of faint disinterest and boredom. Because no, he was not a girl. He wasn't Jaein who liked to steal glances towards Jungkook or Minju who liked to hang around on the gym on Thursday just to see them. But then again, Minju was there for a reason indeed, which entirely wasn't relevant to the current situation.

Jimin though, just smiled and held back a small laugh, something that of course Yoongi always missed. 

 

-.+.-

 

That night he found himself writing another series of rap line that just happened to cross his mind before the usual profanity turned suddenly into accords of his every day’s life and activities.

 

 

We got to stand in front of the classroom because of Taehyung and the brat

 

 

Just as easy as that he remembered Jimin’s laugh, how it lit up the gloomy brat’s face and how it lightened up his as well. A smile spread across Yoongi’s face and without him realizing he had scribbled down an unnecessary small line at the bottom of the page.

 

 

The brat laughed.

 

 

He was thinking about adding another worthless adjective that would serve as a description of the laugh that somehow had found its way being embedded in his mind. He was halfway through that when logic hit him like a train, reminding him how even mentioning the laugh was an act too stupid to carry out by a Min Yoongi.

 

 

(He scribbled the last sentence with a black marker furiously soon after)

 

 

Chapter Text

It didn't really surprise Yoongi anymore to see the brat warming up alongside his friends on Thursday. It didn't really surprise him also to see Jimin easily blend in, filling the spot right between Jungkook and Hoseok (this time it was Taehyung's turn to sit on the bench) on their three on three game. Yet it still surprised him when the others invited Jimim to dinner at Seokjin's place. Yoongi thought the boy would refuse, but then again here they were, walking down the school's gate after their earlier game. The sky was pretty much the same as it always was on every Thursday evening. This, for Yoongi, was his favorite moment of all.

The dinner went on with loud conversation and heavy laughter. Taehyung constantly poking Jimin, Hoseok kept on asking questions with Jungkook adding a few these and that, prying the boy with stories about likes and dislikes. Seokjin was busy filling everyone's bowl with his mom's home-cooked ramyun. It was only Yoongi that ended up glaring at Jimin from the edge of the table.

"Does having Jimin around bother you that much?" asked Namjoon, who was sitting next to him. The others wouldn't certainly hear this conversation, for now they were occupied by the very performance of Taehyung and Hoseok, trying to recreate a walrus fight with chopsticks sticking out from their mouth.

Yoongi raised his eyebrow before he quickly diverted his gaze towards his bowl instead.

"Even you're not this-, annoyed, when Jungkook came around," the younger boy added. Of all the other kids, Namjoon read him the easiest indeed.

Yoongi sighed. "I don't know. The boy got on my nerve," he said.

"Taehyung got on your nerve once."

That would be entirely true, since he spent a few months disliking the boy at first. But with Jimin, it was different. He was just-, itched, to wipe that butt-ass sorry look from his face. It somehow made the boy looked so pathetic and he loathed that.

"He's just-, weird. Looking all sad like that all the time. It made me sick somehow," Yoongi said.

Not to mention the cry he witnessed once. He meant, what would be the boy's problem be that he looked so much like a lost puppy, begging to be rescued?

"Ooh, Min Yoongi, don't tell me you actually care for someone," teased Namjoon.

With that, Yoongi flicked his finger at his junior's forehead.

"That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, yeah, Min Yoongi doesn't do feelings or so he said," mocked Namjoon, elbowing him on the waist.

 

+.-.+

 

The sky was completely dark the moment they finally left Seokjin's house with stomach full and jaws aching. Taehyung and Hoseok had made an exceptional joke, it left the others laughing so hard they got tears in their eyes. One by one the other took different turns, until Yoongi found himself once again walking alone through the quiet path. No, he wasn't actually alone. Turning his head slightly, Yoongi could see Park Jimin, whose existence didn't really surprise him anymore. He caught the boy looking at him and quickly diverted his gaze as he realized that the object of his admiration had taken acknowledge of him.

Shrugging his shoulder, Yoongi just kept on walking down the path he knew too well. At night, the sparse street light served as very little illumination for their small town. It somehow gave Yoongi the feeling of melancholy he always loved, for when he raised his head to see the sky, his eyes would be greeted by the hundreds of lights, twinkling at the far distance. His mind would race for every bit of metaphors and sappy imagination as what those stars would represent. As a proud lyricist (or so he thought himself to be), beautiful words wouldn’t come so easily without a few look at the sky he loved the most. Too bad he’d taken dusk as his favorite moment of all. The night sky would be a close competition.

“Bet you don’t have that in Seoul,” Yoongi said, addressing Jimin who’d been walking behind him. He kept on retracing his steps back to his house, hands behind his neck with chin lifted, savoring the view of the sky.

He knew it was his dream to go to Seoul, though those sky that he loved the most would be something he have to give in return.

“All that pollution and dull sky, at least there’s one thing about this place you’ll like,” he said again, mumbling the words more towards himself than to Jimin.

He took another five or more steps before turning his head, only to find the dark and quiet path behind him. Jimin must have taken a turn at that alley a few meters back, or he had probably entered one of the house along the path. Either way, it was Yoongi who felt like a complete idiot now for erecting a conversation with nothing but the night air.

This was undoubtedly beyond stupid, he felt like hiding his own face in his palm in embarrassment. The only good thing was having no one to witness the idiocy he just committed.

The moment Yoongi came home, he was greeted by his father's usual words of wisdom about future and wasting his time as a third grader with basketball and rap. There would always be another talk about studying harder and preparing himself for suneung that followed afterwards. Not wanting to create anymore disturbance with his raising tone, Yoongi opted to swallow down the comeback he already had at the tip of his tongue and curled up his fist, before slamming his bedroom’s door shut behind him. That night, he blasted Epik High and wrote another line about how shitty parents could be and the price of freedom, before he always found himself having something else to write about Jimin at the end of each day.

 

The brat's an official member now.

 

Yoongi sighed. He didn’t know why he hated Jimin so much. Yeah. If hate was writing about him almost every day in his journal, than he truly despised the existence of Park Jimin.

 

+.-.+

 

“Initiation on Sunday night?” suggested Seokjin the next day on recess without the existence of Park Jimin around.

“This is making him official, you know that, right?” said Yoongi.

This year they had their last regional basketball competition to win. Last year they only got to third place. With Jimin, they were confident that licking the winning trophy would be a thing Taehyung finally got the chance to do.

“Well, I think Jimin fit in perfectly. We need him to win the competition, don’t we hyung?” asked Jungkook, somehow sounding more like a statement.

Namjoon gave a slight meaningful look at Yoongi and he knew exactly what his best friend was telepathically trying to say to him.

“Yeah we do,” said Yoongi with a shrug.

He didn’t actually have any other legit reason to oppose the idea. They do need Jimin. Namjoon was actually horrible for their standard. His very participation within their team was purely nepotism, sometimes Yoongi had to admit. Yoongi himself had to fill the huge gap that Namjoon was. Having Jimin around meant that they would make actual progress.

But then again, he was kind of having a hard time accepting the boy just like that for reason completely oblivious, even to him. The others seemed to easily accept Jimin and here he was thinking already how he should control his remaining glare for the rest of the year.

“It's settled, then. Sunday night on the hill. We’ll do some training on the evening first,” said Hoseok.

“You’re really sure about the initiation though, hyung?” asked Jungkook wearily.

The last time they did this ‘initiation’, it left their youngest member with a nearly broken ribs and bruises on his entire limbs. Thinking about it again, it surely was too cruel and stupid of them for injuring their star member at the beginning of their training day, but then again, they were indeed a bunch of stupid teenagers. After all, stupid was indeed the very word that held them together.

“It won’t be an initiation without the roll, the fall, the bruise and a few scratches,” grinned Namjoon.

Yoongi grinned alongside Namjoon. Seeing Park Jimin suffered a little bit. He thought he could handle that, at least.

 

+.-.+

 

It was Sunday evening when Namjoon (as the appointed captain of their basketball team – and this was clearly an ironic joke) called for the team to gather at the school’s gym for another practice. Jimin of course, as the poor soon-to-be victim was there and Yoongi could only glare at him as he always did the entire game. He purposely went harder for Jimin, not letting the boy pried the ball from him and trying his best to do the opposite at any moment possible instead.

“Don’t be too hard on the boy,” Namjoon whispered in the middle of the game. Yoongi sighed, because between that and glaring, playing hard was the better option.

The sun had set and the sky was dark when they left the gym. The other exchanged a thoughtful look and smirked as they slowly walked out of the school gate. Seokjin had pretended another invitation for his mother’s much desired hot stew. What Jimin would think as a normal stroll turned downhill as Namjoon screamed a “Now!!” Taehyung leaped forward right after that and put a sack on top of Jimin’s head. Hoseok quickly bound the boy’s hands behind his back.

“What are you-,”

“Shut up!” Namjoon yelled.

Namjoon was the better actor amongst them all and for him yelling like that clearly got Jimin shivering. The kid did shiver but he was one hell of a fighter. When his hands were rendered useless, he started to trash and kick with his feet. It even became a hilarious scene to see as the boy kicked the not-so-fortunate-Namjoon on the stomach. Hoseok and Taehyung laughed immediately before realizing that they should keep their mouth shut as well. Seokjin just crossed his arm and shook his head as Yoongi just put on a huge smile across his face. This part was indeed funny.

“This isn’t funny guys,” Jimin protested.

“Who said that this will be funny huh, Park Jimin?!” it was Yoongi who yelled and Jimin was seemingly taken aback by that. “Now stop thrashing or we’re going to do something much worse to you.”

Yoongi himself had to bite back his tongue after that to stop himself from laughing. Jimin suddenly went silent and he could see his other five friends trying their best to swallow their own laugh as well. Jimin followed obediently after that, as Hoseok and Taehyung directed him towards the hill. The hill was 15 minutes hike away, passed the Auraji Bridge and straight into the dense trees overlooking their small town, right at the foot of the mountain with the Songcheon river right below it. Taehyung was the first one to come up with a recreational use of the hill, finding this one spot that was not so steep and led right to the river bank underneath. It was a perfect place to hang out at and since then they’d been spending times there during the night, especially in summer.

“Are we there yet?” asked Jimin, having the nerve to finally ask. The walk wasn’t one to be called ‘entirely wrapped in silence’. Hoseok and Taehyung in particular had been giggling and whispering towards each other to shut up, it probably gave away the impression of terror that the five of them wanted to convey. Those two had definitely ruined it.

“Not yet,” giggled Taehyung, carefully directing each step that Jimin took. “I-i mean, shut your mouth and stop asking!”

Yoongi followed silently at the far back, constantly shaking his head.

“You guys aren’t really messing with me, are you?” Jimin’s words sounded a bit cautious.

“Yes, we are. We’re going to leave you in the middle of the woods, snow white,” mocked Yoongi.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi. He got a terrible sense of humor,” Hoseok said, smirking. “Wait. No. I mean, we’re going to do something real terrible to you, brat. You hear that?”

So much for acting.

“I got the best sense of humor amongst you guys. If you think pushing down a helpless boy from the top of the hill is funny, then you guys aren’t one to talk,” smirked Yoongi.

“You guys are going to do what?”

“You’re ruining the surprise!”

“Hyung, you’re no fun at all.”

“Seriously, Yoongi?”

The others groaned in protest, turning their heads towards Yoongi who just kept on smirking. Jimin, on the other hand, was fidgeting and asking questions (something along the line of ‘Are you guys serious?’, ‘This is a terrible joke, right?’ or the most ridiculous, ‘If this is your attempt of bullying I’m really sorry for everything that I’ve done’).

Hoseok and Taehyung would only just laugh in the few remaining minutes of their hike until they arrived at the spot. It was a small clearing at the edge of the hill, not quite the highest point, but from here Yoongi could already see the tiny light of the houses in the small town of his. Up there, the stars were decorating his favorite night sky until it disappeared on the horizon, being replaced by the shadowy figures of other hills beyond.

Taehyung took off Jimin’s sack and the five of them stood encircling the boy with the edge of the hill right behind him. It wasn’t actually steep. That, plus the rainy season, this particular spot had turned into a slide. With the river down there, it was certainly far from the word harmful (though once again it depended on your definition of ‘harmful’). The thing was, how Jimin wouldn’t be able to see the path behind him, thus thinking how really steep it actually was. That was the real surprise.

“You’re not really going to throw me down the hill, are you?” Jimin asked.

Underneath the starry sky and the full moon tonight, they could look at each other in the darkness without any form of illumination just fine. Jimin looked at each one of them with looking half scared, a quarter curious and a quarter amused. Either way, the others sucked at acting, scaring the boy off wasn’t an option any longer, Yoongi could do nothing but to roll his eyes in the end.

“You think we’re joking huh, Park Jimin?” Yoongi said. Unlike Hoseok and Taehyung, he could pull out the act of a bully almost too easily. The 1st grader feared him for a reason indeed. Jimin was probably going to answer a yes, before Yoongi gave out an order, calm and demeaning.

“Turn around you brat.”

“What? You clearly didn’t mean to-,”

“Turn around Park Jimin!”

Solely because it was Yoongi who yelled, the Yoongi who seemed to not like him very much, did Park Jimin finally wiped that amused expression off his face and started taking this as seriously as he should have. Jimin slowly turned around, facing the night sky. Yes, at least this way Jimin wouldn’t be able to see Hoseok and Taehyung who’d been trying desperately to hide their laugh.

“Do you know what you’ve done?” this time Yoongi said.

“Yeah, you’ve done some terrible shit, Jimin. You better know that!” Taehyung joined in with such fiery comments, one that sounded way too forced, which made Yoongi rolled his eyes yet again.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear,” the boy answered back. “Just please don’t shove me down,” Jimin said, almost pleadingly.

“Then do as we told you to!”

Jimin went silent and it was Yoongi's turn to smile as wide as he wanted to. From then on, it was easy for them. They started with Namjoon telling the boy to “scream his ass off”. He did, screaming like a stupid person that he was being right now, old deaf Jung would probably be hearing for the first time down there. It was in the middle of the scream as well that Jimin ended up startling an owl perching at a nearby tree, it sent him into a shriek. Yoongi regretted not bringing a video camera to enshrine this humiliating and hilarious moment.

They ended up barking orders, something along kissing the ground to dancing stupid stuff. It wasn’t until Yoongi yelled at him to take his shirt off did Jimin finally shudder. The Park stuttered, saying a lot of ‘what’ and mumbled questions. In the end Jimin did, taking off his shirt, revealing his back and bare shoulder. The boy had some muscle, he got to admit that.

Yoongi smirked. He wouldn’t stop there, of course. He ordered the boy to take off his pants as well. Jimin hesitated for a moment, letting out a huge sigh, before finally gave in to the ridiculous order. Up to this point, Yoongi didn’t know whether they had done such a nice job in acting (which was hardly the case), or Park Jimin was indeed a complete idiot. The said boy took off his pants, revealing his (thank god) white trunk (because Park Jimin would be the laughing stock of the century if he wore briefs).

(Even Namjoon beside him blurted out a laugh and whispered a “Are you sure this is not going overboard?” through his giggle)

“Now close your eyes and turn around.”

The boy did and Yoongi kind of regretted for ordering so. He had to witness how a boy with plump face, chubby cheeks and such an annoying pouting face was gifted with an almost god-like, sculpted abs. Okay, Yoongi was probably being hyperbolic for the description, but the mismatch certainly irritated him. Jimin was standing in front of them all with nothing but underwear and face boiling red. The scene was certainly hilarious.

“Cover your eyes with your hands.”

“You guys aren’t trying to kill me, are you?”

“Oh, we will do much worse, Park Jimin,” Yoongi joked.

Right when Jimin finally did so, Jungkook stepped forward with a bundle of cloth they’d prepared. The rest of them walked closer, huddling around Jimin. Funny was seeing Jimin shuddering, feeling them getting closer towards him and probably wondering in fright over what they were going to do to him afterwards. Taehyung got around Jimin, placing his own hand on top of the boy’s shoulder and motioned him towards the edge of the hill. At that point Jimin was practically pleading, his feet skidded on the ground, trying to resist.

He was literally on the very edge of the ground, a simple push away, when Taehyung whispered to his ear.

“Now I want you-,”

He paused, giving in to the thrill. Too bad the boy wasn’t sobbing, Yoongi thought. That would be the only cry he would enjoy to witness.

“-to open your eyes and change into these.”

Taehyung pried his hands off and Jimin cracked his eyes open slowly, right when Jungkook rolled the cloth open in front of him, holding it above his head so Jimin could see it hanging on the air.

“Welcome to the team, Jimin,” said Jungkook.

Jimin stood there dumbfounded, still having his back against them, staring at the piece of cloth, probably realizing that it was actually t-shirt. He grabbed it by the hand and scanned the shirt before he turned around slowly, finally facing them all.

“That’s-,”

“-your uniform, Jimin. You’re officially in the team now,” Namjoon said, sporting a grin.

Jimin’s name was printed on the back of it. On top of it was the very-much-tacky name of their group, one whose existence Yoongi always tried to deny. It was of course Hoseok that came up with such a name, too flashy and weird for his liking. Jimin stared at it for quite awhile, disbelief still painted on his eyes as he ran his finger across the glossy block letter printed upon the fabric.

“Bulletproof boys?” he asked, raising his head to give each one of them a proper look.

“And you’re one of it now,” Taehyung said, walking towards Jimin and buried him in a hug, nearly knocking him off his legs and right off the cliff.

Jimin looked dazed, blinking a couple of times before he finally got to process the whole situation. Up to that point, Yoongi could only cringe as he saw his friends one by one taking a step forward, burying Jimin in a hug.

“This is so lame!” Jimin exclaimed, as he finally put the uniform on top of his head and retrieved his pants again. “You guys are so lame!” he screamed again.

Last year Jungkook burst into tears right after they put off their façade. The youngest had to withstand each one of them telling Jungkook all the wrong he had committed. He burst right into tears as they finally gave Jungkook his uniform, realizing that it was all just a joke (and they ended up apologizing and treating the boy like a king for the rest of the week over the guilt of witnessing the maknae's cry).

“Why do I have to take my pants off as well?” Jimin protested.

“Yoongi-hyung’s idea, blame him,” said Hoseok, punching Jimin in the shoulder. 

The others patted Jimin then, congratulating the boy and practically making fun of him, telling him how ridiculous his face looked when he was scared. Yoongi oddly ended up like always, staring. He stood the farthest from his friends with both hand in his pockets, watching the scene. It was weird to see Park Jimin smiling widely and being happy. Happy. That was right. The brat shouldn't be happy right now as easily as that since this hadn't ended, had it?

"Oi Yoongi, congratulate Jimin, will you? You're the one who told him to take his pants off after all," said Namjoon, pulling him towards Jimin.

There was this cautiousness that dawned upon Jimin as Yoongi stepped forward, as if the boy had tensed up and thought that the elder would yell at him again. Yoongi clicked his tongue.

"You should have seen your own face," said Yoongi, smirking.

Jimin blushed instead and it got Yoongi cringing instead. That certainly wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

“You know what-,” Yoongi said, stroking his chin. “This isn’t over, Park Jimin.”

The boy raised his eyebrow and that was the cue for Taehyung to scream his second “Now!” for the day. At that moment, the six of them quickly grabbed Jimin by his legs and body, lifting him off the ground. The boy was kicking and thrashing, swearing even, saying that it wasn’t funny at all. Actually it was, and the six of them were laughing when they did it.

“On three!” Taehyung screamed, as the six of them held Jimin's body on the air, ready to swing and throw him off the cliff.

“One-,”

“Put me down, guys! This is not funny. You’re not really going to-,”

“Two-,”

“I swear to god I’m going to sue you all for abuse and-,”

“Three!”

And Jimin flew. He literally did, the six of them throwing him off the cliff in the count of three. What happened next was the never-ending scream of Jimin as he hit the wet soft ground underneath, cracking a few twigs and branches, heading straight towards some bushes and rolled down of it. The others watched him from atop the hill as the boy finally hit the river underneath with a loud splash. They took a good ten seconds to laugh, commenting on how stupid of a face Jimin had when they threw him, until Seokjin reminded them that they couldn’t hear any of Jimin’s voice down there afterwards.

“Oh my god, don’t tell me we really did kill him!” said Taehyung, panicking. He walked towards the edge of the hill, trying to get a view of Jimin down there, when he suddenly slipped instead and fell, tumbling down the hill very much like Jimin did as well.

That was the exact moment when they burst into laughter for the second time. At this point, Yoongi’s stomach had already ached.

“Hey, he’s not dead!” Taehyung screamed later. “Come down, guys!”

At that, Yoongi should have known that it would turn sour for him. He should have run away, because to that scream, all the other’s eyes turned towards him in an instant. They perfectly knew that Yoongi wouldn’t want to come down the hill on his own and risk doing anything stupid, thus reminding them that the task was left entirely in their hands.

“No, don’t you dare, don’t you fucking-,”

Hoseok didn’t let Yoongi finish his sentence before grabbing his legs very much like they’d done with Jimin. Namjoon, Seokjin and Jungkook helped, lifting him easily off the ground. Yoongi tried his best to thrash and pry himself free, but seconds later and he found himself flying in the air already before gravity pulled him back down hard. His body bumped into the ground and he practically went down tumbling and rolling, cutting his hand a little here and there until the cold water hit his face.

It took him a few moments to gather his balance, remembering once again how to stand and overcome the shock. He felt like throwing up but managed to stand, body drenched and filthy. Taking a deep breath, he turned towards his friends, still atop of the hill and pointed his fingers.

“You guys are so fucking dead!”

That was the last thing he said before everything turned into an all-out war.

The only thing that Yoongi remembered that night was laughter. They laughed way too much. The others were thrown or at least voluntarily climbed down the hill. Namjoon was thrown off, at least, because as soon as the boy hit the water, Yoongi had make sure he found the thickest mud to throw him with. They laughed and practically acted like little children, splashing waters and throwing mud towards one another in the middle of the night in a chilling April.

He remembered the seven of them coming home with body cold and freezing, clothes sticking to their skin, still laughing, even as they rubbed their skin continuously and fidgeted during the entire walk. He remembered the six of them getting sick (with the exception of Jungkook because god knew why he was always the best amongst them all in everything, even his immune system agreed). Namjoon entered school actually (or rather, he forced himself to) before going to the nurse’s office at the 3rd period and succumbed to the fever as well.

But most of all, he remembered how he turned around at the right time in the middle of their stupid game of mud-throwing, water-splashing and wrestling that night, to see Jimin standing knee-deep in the shallow river, laughing and wiping his already filthy face with the back of his right palm. He was smiling wide, body drenched and face smeared with dirt like the rest of them. Yet even though he was smiling, Yoongi remembered seeing the tears rolling down the boy’s face, glistening and being prominent underneath the night sky.

He remembered the scene vividly, how he once again became the sole witness to the odd scene of Jimin crying, only this time from happiness for the first time.

 

The brat cried again during initiation. He was laughing when he did.

 

What a weird brat.

 

 

Chapter Text

This was the second time and Yoongi cursed his soul for forgetting his notebook yet again. Again, if it had landed in the hand of an ill-intent being (that was a synonym for Namjoon, of course), Yoongi would be in big trouble. In the same notebook did he write a few days ago how Minju was hottest girl in class, though he would rather choose someone more like Yujin to date.

He rushed through the empty hallway that Monday, hurrying back to the classroom before opening the door without catching a breath. That was the reason how he almost crashed into Jimin who stood right in front of the door.

“The hell!”

The said boy was standing exactly in front of the door, almost as if he was greeting him with a book in his hand, expression not very amused. He had the same brooding aura that he always wore around himself, only this time it was intensified tenfold, added with such a pathetic expression it invited sympathy to most eyes (but disgust to Yoongi's). He could see the rim underneath Jimin’s eyes and how red it looked. The boy had been crying again, or at least in the middle of doing so. Just the thought of that crossing his mind sent a scowl to his face, he couldn’t help but to feel annoyed.

“Your notebook.”

“What?”

“You left it again,” he said, handing Yoongi the very notebook he’d been looking for. The latter had his eyes cast from his notebook to the boy holding it with brows arched and face full of question. How did that brat even know that he had left his notebook (again)?

He was about to blurt out that very question when Park Jimin exited the classroom and left him just like that, with his notebook already in hand.

Talk about insolent prick.

 

+.-.+

 

The next day it was Yoongi who sat inside the classroom, motionless, even as the other left their seats as the bell rang. He took out his notebook in the meantime, putting on a façade of a hard-working student finishing his homework one week before it was due. Namjoon passed his seat with a scowl and raised brows that Yoongi in turn answered with a snort. The Kim must have thought that he hit his head or something, acting diligent all of a sudden. It didn’t take long until the room was completely empty. Yes, empty. Except for the living soul that still breathed behind him in the form of Park Jimin, then this room was undoubtedly empty.

Yoongi turned his seat right after the last student had left the room to face Jimin behind him. Sure enough, the boy was looking at the floor it took him quite some time to learn about the elder’s existence.

“You’re not leaving?” he mocked.

Jimin gave him a bewildered look, finally noticing someone still sitting in front of him.

“You’re not leaving yourself,” he whispered back.

“Hyung.”

“What?”

“I’m older than you, so you should add a hyung there, because last time you sure acted like an insolent brat, walking away with eyes red like that, I feel like punching you in the face then,” he said again, clearly not thinking about how the words sounded as it escaped his lips.

Jimin looked at him right in the eyes (which he rarely did) and took in what Yoongi had just said about himself in a series of words. He was probably wondering what the elder was doing in the room. Yoongi himself didn’t really know why he did this, except for a reason that he liked to call ‘giving Park Jimin a lesson’. He just couldn't help but to do so, since the boy really got on his nerve, he felt like smacking some senses into him.

“What are you doing here?” the boy finally rested with that as a comeback to what normal people would take as an insult.

“Me? Just writing in my notebook here after class. Nothing’s wrong with that,” Yoongi said with a flat tone. “What about you? Crying again? Your face looks ridiculous when you cry.”

If Park Jimin raised his fist right then and there, Yoongi wouldn’t really wonder why. He had the reputation of being cold, audacious and every least bit of friendly. He wasn’t condescending, though, for there was something entirely different if his goal was to belittle the sad, pathetic-looking boy that had been sitting behind him for weeks now. He wasn't here to insult the boy. It was simply a special trait of Min Yoongi that made even his words of consolation seemed like an insult.

“Why do you care,” Jimin said, the words oddly familiar to Yoongi’s ear.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yoongi knew that he had had this conversation before.

No reason.

“Because nobody in this world can look as pathetic as you are even when they cry.”

Jimin just glared at him with expression unreadable. It turned from a slight anger to embarrassment, until somehow he looked like he was about to cry again solely from Yoongi's snark comment.

“Did I do something to offend you?,” the younger’s voice shook just the slightest to his ear. His face looked hurt indeed.

Yoongi curved his eyebrow. Actually, the boy had never done anything wrong. Then again, he always thought that Jimin had done at least something, for he wouldn’t have held this-, whatever this was, towards the boy. If that something was looking so pathetic it made him sick, then Jimin had definitely done something. Looking pathetic, that was. He didn’t know he was allergic to that, so allergic that he needed to do this talk with Park Jimin.

He was trying to find the right words (rather than a ‘because you look pathetic’ excuse, which would make no sense at all), when Jimin had already taken his silence as an answer. That, or maybe he wasn’t even looking for one.

“I’m sorry then, for whatever it was,” he said, standing from his seat, looking more sorry than mad. Yoongi wasn’t actually hoping for a ‘sorry’. A fist to his face or a rising tone would make a more suitable comeback rather than an apology. This just made Jimin looked  even more pitiful to his eyes.

“Hey, I don’t-,”

“Please leave me alone,” Jimin cut his explanation mid-sentence while hurrying towards the door.

And that was when Yoongi and his foul big mouth had to make a comeback.

“To cry?”

Jimin froze to the words as if it stabbed him right through his heart. Then again, the silence, stomping feet and slammed door was an answer enough for Yoongi that what he said was true.

 

I think I pissed the brat off.

 

+.-.+

 

Jimin was still there the next Thursday. Yoongi watched from a distance how the boy had seemingly learned to smile a little bit from Taehyung’s joke or from Hoseok’s constant nagging. Even during lessons, Yoongi could hear the soft giggling behind him, coming from the two boys, rustling on some papers, probably making more doodles of their beloved teacher. He didn’t have the heart to find out more about it and risked getting thrown out from the classroom yet again. They went home in silence ever since their last conversation and Yoongi never tried to speak to the boy, mostly because Jimin tried his best to avoid him.

It was really apparent with how the boy looked extra aware whenever they passed each other in the hallway before purposely turning his heels around. That didn’t just happen once. There was also that time when they met between the urinals, Jimin was looking like a perfect tomato with face disgustingly red, he looked more like a girl who entered the wrong toilet instead.

But despite that, Yoongi could clearly see (as crystal clear as it could be), how Jimin started to warm up to his other friends. The thing that they did during initiation night had certainly changed the boy, for he started to smile a little bit more. Just today, he even saw Jimin laughing out loud from something that Taehyung had said as he entered the gym. He suddenly stopped as he saw Yoongi walking towards them and cast his eyes towards the ground again as if what he did earlier is a crime. It only made Yoongi glared at the boy even harder.

There were a few things he realized. Since the initiation, Jimin had opened himself up to practically everyone except himself. He talked a bit more and certainly laughed alongside Hoseok and Taehyung now. Jungkook would join them from time to time. He still didn't join in with them during recess, though, opting to stay at class with Jungkook sometimes doing god-knows what. But the one real thing that he realized, was the boy’s habit on keeping his eyes on the ground, because it hadn’t really changed. If Jimin had the habit of looking at the ground, then Yoongi had a serious issue of glaring, since Namjoon finally found the opportunity to talk some senses into him once again.

“Do you really hate him or something, cause Jimin really thought that you did,” Namjoon said in between their breaks.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, grabbing his water bottle and spraying it all over his face instead of drinking it. He had just finished practicing his 3 pointer today. He would never be satisfied with it if he couldn't do it with his eyes closed.

“What? That’s ridiculous. I don’t hate the brat,” Yoongi said. He didn't, did he? Well, he hated that damn Yongwoo back in 2nd grade because the kid had once picked a fight with him over a girl (which actually was nothing but a misunderstanding). He hated that damn Ikje as well because the boy kept trying to be so friendly with him with his self-proclaimed witty comeback it bordered towards an insult instead. Either way, hate certainly didn’t feel this way in the case of Park Jimin, because he didn’t feel like obliterating the brat from the surface of this earth unlike certain people in his life.

“Not to him, it seemed,” Namjoon continued. Yoongi took that moment to glare at Jimin once again. The boy was doing a one on one with Jungkook right now, concentration being apparent through a bitten lip and wrinkled forehead. He took that Jimin talked to Namjoon, at least, about Yoongi hating him, when he clearly didn’t.

“And not to me as well, that much I can tell. Your glare, really. I can’t even differentiate whether you hate him or you like him, geez," Namjoon added.

“That’s not funny at all. You know I like Yujin.”

“Wait, really?”

“No, that part I’m just messing with you,” Yoongi said, passing the basketball towards Namjoon. Only now did he regret to even slip Yujin’s name into the conversation. Namjoon wasn’t the quietest one of them all when it came to rumors and gossips. “Don’t spark some rumors now,” he quickly said, realizing his fault. 

Namjoon gave him a smirk that looked as annoying as Jimin’s brooding face, he realized that he just made a mistake he couldn't take back.

“Nah, but really, you’re fine with Jimin, aren’t you? Because I don’t want some feud or whatever going around.”

Yoongi snorted.

“Any feud that would arise is if you miss the shot during free throw in our next game. Only then, will the others and me really decided to kick you out from the group.”

 

+.-.+

 

Yoongi wasn’t there to wait for Jimin, that part had to be made clear first. He was staying late at school because history was giving him a snore once again, and this time he did doze off on it. Mrs. Oh granted him with an after school detention (exclusively for snoring too loud) and here he was, having to stack papers and boxes in the storeroom of the teacher’s lounge. He finished with dust covering his school uniform and nose feeling like it needed to constantly sneeze, right when the sun was about to set outside.

It was a Tuesday and everybody had left the school building early. They were supposed to eat in Seokjin’s house again tonight and Yoongi was eager for that. His feet raced on the school’s floor when he passed his classroom on his way out and an impractical string of thoughts suddenly crossed his mind. He hadn’t passed his classroom entirely, halting midway and taking a few steps back very carefully before peeking in through the window. Sure enough, he could see someone still seated on one of the chairs, wiping his eyes with shoulder shaking and a faint sob echoing through the wall. Yoongi rolled his eyes, blaming his intuition for its precision, because Park Jimin was indeed still inside the classroom, crying like always.

Up to this point, Yoongi was more than just curious. He was fed up. He didn’t know what had happened to the boy that it needed a constant crying upon. He got it if something happened in Seoul to the boy before, or how this place wasn’t what he was expecting to be. But seriously, a month? He cried about that for a whole month?

This time he stepped inside, stopping right with the door behind his back and his hands still clutching the handle. At least, this way Jimin wouldn’t be able to run away so easily from him. The moment the door creaked, Jimin quickly raised his head. The look in his eyes when he saw Yoongi didn’t turn to annoyance, looking more like being terrified instead, as if Yoongi was here to bully the crying boy.

"Yah, Park Jimin, are you really that weird, since normal people would like to cry in their bedroom more instead of a freaking classroom,” he said.

The boy took a sob, trying to desperately hide the fact that he’d been crying so hard. Him wiping his eyes with the back of his palm certainly wasn't helping at all. Up to this point, Yoongi didn’t have much inside of him to be surprised anymore to the sight of red stinging eyes of Park Jimin.

“And I don’t hate you, all right? Whatever you think about me and said to Namjoon, it’s wrong. I don’t hate you, you just-, annoyed me. One more thing, think twice before talking to Namjoon. He got a big mouth. Everyone would start to think I hold a grudge against you if you told Namjoon.”

“It wasn’t Namjoon,” the boy squeaked.

“What?”

“I talked to Taehyung, who talked to Jungkook and he relayed the message to Namjoon and Seokjin was just being around and Hoseok threatened to steal Taehyung’s underwear if they didn’t tell him what’s going on.”

That was the most of what Yoongi had heard from Jimin after all this weeks. Then again, here he was thinking that Jimin was probably the one being annoyed by his words instead. Here he was thinking that Jimin avoided him because it was the boy who was annoyed by his choice of words from the other day.

"Anyway, I don’t hate you, kid. Don’t make rumors,” Yoongi said nonchalantly.

Jimin swallowed, still looking at Yoongi as if he couldn’t believe the elder’s words.

“Damn, do I need to smile, hug you and act as if we’ve just made up to prove that?”

That sentence startled Jimin and Yoongi rolled his eyes, realizing that the misunderstanding lied on his choice of words all along.

“You glare at me,” Jimin said softly.

“Because seeing how pathetic you look most of the time annoyed me. Much alone seeing you cry for the-, I don’t know, tenth time?”

The only thing that Yoongi got was the boy blinking as if the words couldn’t be processed by his brain.

“So you don’t hate me?”

Yoongi sighed.

"Do I have to say it twice?” he said. Jimin looked like he was about to cry again upon hearing his words, so he quickly added a, “No, I don’t hate you. Do you want me to say I love you too right now? Seriously, stop with that crying too. I don’t know how bad it was, but you’re not in Seoul anymore. No need for you to cry for whatever reason it was.”

Jimin blinked again to his words, taking it all with expression unreadable. He looked surprised for a moment with mouth gaping before a slight blush started creeping on his chubby cheek and ears. The younger quickly averted his gaze, looking down towards the floor yet again with something that looked more like embarrassment instead of contemplation.

"And really, the floor? Do you have a fetish with your feet or something? Didn’t your parents teach you some manners to look at someone in the eye instead of your own feet?”

“I-im sorry.”

"God, don’t say that. You sound even more pitiful to me right now when you apologize,” Yoongi said, sighing. Why couldn’t he sound like the delicate Seokjin who seemed so nice all the time, he literally spewed candy from his mouth, being sugary sweet and caring. Or at least like Namjoon with his philosophical rant. Even Hoseok could make happiness seemed contagious. But no, he had to sound mean and scary and as bitter as a dark coffee could actually taste.

“Now, Seokjin’s inviting us all to his house for some ramyun. We better get going before Taehyung finishes all of it,” he said, opening the door behind him, waiting for Jimin to stand up and walk towards it.

The boy took a moment to realize that Yoongi was waiting for him before he finally complied. They walked in complete silence afterwards towards Seokjin’s house with Yoongi leading the way. He didn’t know what the younger was having in his mind and he didn’t bother to find out either, giving up on making small talk or such. The last time he did, he remembered, ended with him talking with nothing but the night sky, he felt quite stupid after remembering about it again. So no, Yoongi wasn't too keen on trying again.

The dinner that night was loud as always. Jimin looked much less pathetic, laughing along to Hoseok’s joke. At least that meant less glaring in Yoongi’s part. Still, the younger diverted his gaze as soon as their eyes met from across the table.

“It’s been a month since you got here. How do you find this place, Jimin?” Seokjin asked over their last portion of ramyun. Their stomach was full but Taehyung still got the nerve to ask for a second round.

"It’s fine, I guess,” the younger answered. Yoongi couldn't help but realize how Jimin always sat with his back a bit hunched and body scrunched like he wanted to make himself look as small as he could. He answered with voice timid in front of the other most of the time, and he smiled like he was afraid that it was the wrong thing to do. It was as if he tried his best to make himself look invisible.

Why did he even realize that? Damn.

"Fine? Fine?! You just spent a month of your life sitting next to the most awesome person who lives in this planet,” exclaimed Taehyung.

"He had probably grown tired of you and will be asking for a new seat mate tomorrow,” Yoongi snorted.

"At least no one wanted to sit next to the mean and cold Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung returned back with a tongue sticking out.

"Yah, Taehyung, don’t make me go back to hating you again. Here I am thinking that you’re finally tolerable.”

“I’m lovable. Ask Hobi-hyung.”

“And loud. And eat too much,” added Jungkook.

"And you got me into detention once,” said Jimin softly.

Yoongi couldn’t help but pay extra attention when it was Jimin who talked. The scene came so rarely. Another thing that he realized was how the boy seldom raised his voice, only doing so whenever someone gave him a question. That was before. The brat was slowly opening himself up and Yoongi felt like facepalming himself for realizing such unnecessary thing. Looked like he unconsciously glared again, for Namjoon gave him a sharp nudge to his waist (which Yoongi later answered with a kick to the shin). At least this time he did it out of surprise instead of annoyance.

"What is school life without a few detention and mishaps anyway,” said Taehyung.

"Hyung, please don’t make Jimin a victim of your stupid idea. You almost got us into detention when you think our teacher supported the idea of April Mop,” Jungkook said.

"Mr. Kim always gave us a hard time to us because of that super glue incident, you know."

“Oh please, it's hilarious. Admit it. You still get to see the stain on his favorite pants," Taehyung answered with a grin. "Anyway, you still didn’t think that Yoongi-hyung’s frightening, are you?” asked Taehyung suddenly to Jimin.

Jimin cheeks turned a slight red before he waved his little hand in front of them all, stuttering along the line of, “N-no, no, I never,” while looking at Yoongi with face looking scared and slightly embarrassed. Yoongi meanwhile, felt like palming his face for the second time that day.

"Don’t worry, Jimin. Yoongi is indeed notorious for being a dick. He made a 1st grader cried once just by glaring,” said Namjoon, laughing.

"Oh, and that 3rd grader during last year’s competition. That senior in our last game who purposely knocked Jungkook after the whistle blow. Remember Yoongi threatening to kill the guy with fire burning in his eyes?” this time Seokjin added as he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

"Yah, you guys are clearly exaggerating. Don’t listen to them, Jimin.”

But then again, the story of the 1st grader was actually true. The poor boy had accidentally woken Yoongi up by stubbing his toe when he was having his nap in the cafeteria. The said boy ended with eyes glistening with tears soon after.

"Second round, guys. Who’s up for it?!” exclaimed Seokjin as he reentered the dining room, carrying a new pot filled with newly-cooked ramyun.

Soon enough it was another ruckus, Taehyung yelling a “me me,” while flailing his chopsticks in the air. Hoseok complained about not having enough from his first portion since Taehyung kept stealing his. Jungkook rambled about how they all owed Seokjin’s family a big gratitude, since they’d been crashing at his place and putting Mrs. Kim to an awful lot of dish-washing for the hundredth time. Namjoon raised his voice, telling the other to shut up and Seokjin oh-so-kindly filled their empty bowl with another hot meal.

That left Yoongi witnessing how stupid his so-called friends were. From across the table, Jimin did the same thing and the boy smiled. Yoongi found himself this time looking (or maybe glaring, he didn’t know the difference anymore) until the boy himself realizing another pair of eyes looking back at his. Yoongi half-heartedly expected the younger to turn his head again like he always did whenever their eyes met. But this time Jimin didn’t divert his gaze. He looked back at Yoongi and gave him a genuine smile, one that he hid underneath his tears and pouts after all this time.

 

(At least this time Yoongi didn’t miss the smile.)

 

+.-.+

 

They left Seokjin’s house around midnight with stomach full and aching. They watched a movie after dinner before Hoseok yawned and Mrs. Jeon called, looking for Jungkook and telling him to come home. After that, they all practically scrambled back towards their own houses. Like always, Yoongi found himself left with Jimin. The elder had his hand resting behind his neck, his eyes watching the night sky like he always did. The younger, meanwhile, walked behind him silently.

His mind was wandering between the stars and how he should write something about comparing a girl’s laugh to a star constellation, when the silence that he thought would be his only company for the night decided to make room for some string of conversation to fill the remain of his day.

“Yoongi-hyung.”

It took him a moment to realize that it was Jimin who addressed him. Yoongi turned around slightly, looking at the boy, wondering whether he was about to see the latter cried again or something around that.

“Thank you,” he said.

Raising an eyebrow, Yoongi stopped and turned his heels completely, not getting why Jimin had expressed such gratitude to him when he had done absolutely nothing. Much the contrary, all he thought he did was nothing worth be grateful for. All he did was unknowingly harassed the boy with his words and being completely cold and unemphatic. That much was indeed a very Min Yoongi thing to do.

“I didn’t do anything, kid,” he returned with a snort, turning his attention again to the road in front of him and kept on walking.

Jimin took a pause before answering the elder, Yoongi thought he had left him again like the last time, probably disappearing into the nearest turn behind his back and left him holding a conversation with nothing but the night’s air. This time though, he was proven to be wrong when the younger raised his voice again.

“You did. You’re the first one who cared,” the voice answered softly behind him before adding a stuttered “hyung” after an evident pause.

Yoongi turned around again almost instantly, not hiding the blatant confusion and awkwardness from the simple answer. He found the younger still standing on his previous step right in a middle of a T-junction, not seeming to have taken a step forward. The space between them felt awkward for a conversation. He could see the headlight there illuminating Jimin’s face, red and very much as embarrassed as he was from hearing the words earlier.

Care? Did Jimin just misunderstand all of his action that once was translated as hatred into caring now? It wasn’t hatred, but if it was to admit that he cared, Yoongi certainly still had a hot spot for that. Min Yoongi doing something as much as ‘caring’? That would be a joke.

Yoongi felt like giving another cold comment like he usually did before the words died on his tongue, as he saw Jimin slowly lifted his face, a faint smile slowly spreading across his face. It was a smile that reminded Yoongi of a girl's, one that he would probably received whenever he unknowingly committed a good deed. Yoongi felt like cringing instead.

“Stop that smile, you made me feel like I’m in a cliché romcom,” he blurted.

“Ah, sorry,” the boy quickly answered before he bit his lips to hide the smile.

And he regretted saying that. Min Yoongi, why couldn’t you just be nice for a minute now?

“Nah, stop that Park Jimin. You did nothing wrong,” he said, sighing.

Every words that he said to Park Jimin always caused a misunderstanding, it seemed. He sighed again, this time trying to find a perfect word to say. He didn’t like to hear the boy saying sorry or be ‘sorry’ for something. It made him as pathetic as he did when he cry. Even as much as a heartless prick that he was, Yoongi's rational brain could still tell that Jimin never committed any crime towards him. In fact, he had actually done something worthy of a gratitude once.

“Thanks to you too, brat,” he said.

This time it was Jimin who raised his eyebrow.

“For that time when I left my notebook,” he continued. “I mean you sure acted like an insolent prick, running away easily after that. I bet you checked whether I left my notebook purposely so I wouldn’t barge in to your crying session like before, huh?”

Jimin’s silence was answer enough. The boy probably did as he has suspected. Yoongi didn’t want this to grow into another misunderstanding, so he laughed instead right when the younger was about to lower his head. God, he really hated it when Jimin did that.

“Anyway, you’re welcome,” he said.

The younger raised his head now, smiling. Great, at least the kid would get him straight this time.

Yoongi watched as Jimin made the turn at the T-junction, parting his way from Yoongi’s (he knew now where the boy had disappeared to yesterday). He was about to continue walking, his house five minute walk away from there, when he turned again towards Jimin for the last time, still catching the boy’s figure before he disappeared at the turn and shouted.

“For your information, I don’t care about you too as much as I hate you, Park Jimin. Remember that,” he said with a mocking laugh, emphasizing the word ‘care’.

Satisfied, Yoongi walked towards his house, hearing a faint laugh in the background that served as an answer enough.

 

The brat thought about me ‘caring’ for him. What a joke.

 

 

Chapter Text

“The season started in another month. I want us to be extremely prepared for it,” Namjoon briefed to them. Up to this point, Namjoon had honestly acted more like a manager than a leader. Given his poor ability and skill, taking care of the administration for the championship soon enough would be another job of his. Hoseok had joked that it would only take another week before he was reduced to bringing water bottles and giving towels instead. The secretly-evil youngest had even actually made a bet on that.

“This year’s goal is 1st place!” exclaimed Namjoon, waiting for a rupture of ovation from the other members who was sitting on the floor of the gym (and definitely didn’t give him the reply he was hoping for), with flat face and certainly looking unamused. They were huddling up in their exclusively reserved gym for Thursday game like usual. Their session of warm up turned into a series of prep talk from their so-called captain.

“We have Jimin this year so we’ll definitely get it,” said Hoseok, patting the said boy’s shoulder. The boy just gave a little nod and a small smile, mumbling a “I’m not that good” and a little bit of “I’m sorry if we lost.”

“Don’t say that. It’s as if you’re admitting defeat already,” the kind Seokjin added.

“I’ll do my best, then,” their newest member exclaimed with voice more confident, looking at all the other members before ending on Yoongi, his gaze lingered for a few seconds longer.

“Rather than relying entirely on Jimin, aren’t we supposed to train you properly, Namjoon-hyung?” asked Jungkook nonchalantly.

“Yah Jeon Jungkook, learn to respect the elderly, will you?” said the elder, pulling out the act of being serious but met only by the younger’s sticking tongue.

“He won’t even call me hyung the first time,” squeaked Jimin.

The other laughed to that and Yoongi still had that weird feeling, that churning in his stomach whenever Jimin initiated a conversation. It still sounded weird to his ear.

“Hey don’t blame me. Jimin’s shorter than me. The first time he always kept his head down he even looked shorter,” said Jungkook.

“That doesn’t mean you can call him without the hyung,” this time Yoongi said, ruffling the youngest’s hair.

“Stop doing that, hyung. I’m not a kid. A year age difference is nothing,” the younger protested.

“But you’re still our baby nonetheless, Jungkookie,” said Taehyung, this time coming up from behind Jungkook before pinching his cheek. “But I agree. Even Jiminie’s cheek is more pinch-able than our Jungkookie here,” their weirdest member added on, before this time leaping towards Jimin and pinched the said boy’s cheek.

“See, babyfat,” commented Taehyung while Jimin did his best to grab Taehyung’s hands, telling the latter to stop.

The small argument turned into a series of cat and mouse game for the both of them. The two landed on the floor and wrestled against each other, Taehyung on top of Jimin, trying to tickle him. Hoseok ran towards the two, exclaiming a “Don’t leave me out” and practically dived in towards them.

“Kids,” muttered Yoongi.

“That made you seem so old,” said Seokjin. Amongst the other, Seokjin was actually the oldest, having been held back a year because his mother was very ill last year. Good thing his mother succumbed from whatever ailment that was, though it cost her son a year of school in return. It was that experience probably, that turned Seokjin into the loving person that he was right now. He was almost like their mother, though Yoongi thought that Seokjin was turning more and more into a grandmother instead these days. “Anyway have you made up with Jimin?”

Yoongi groaned. “I’m not even fighting with the kid.” Up to this point, he forgot that his friends thought that he held some sort of a grudge towards the newest member of their group.

Seokjin answered with a string of laughter. “He’s afraid of you, you know.”

“Everybody did,” the younger scoffed. Just today he had another 1st grader looking like he was about to cry for bumping into Yoongi on the corridor. “Don’t worry. I’ve straightened things up. We’re not fighting. Don’t worry about it,” he sighed, eyeing the three figures that were now wrestling on the ground, flailing their hands and kicking the air with a loud noise. “I sometimes forgot how nosy you all are.”

“Nosy?”

“That time when I had a fight,” he mumbled.

Once Yoongi had gotten himself into this big fight with his father. It was the first time he ever said that he wanted to go to Seoul and be something else, even though his family had seemingly gotten the message that he wasn't too keen on staying in their town since long ago. His father didn’t welcome the idea at all. The fight had turned itself from a series of curses into flipping table and ended with Yoongi running away from home for almost three days before his mother was worried to death. Soon enough, his mother told not only his friends but the town's elderly and they turned into this huge party of search and rescue, trying to find Yoongi who had simply disappeared into the midnight’s air. 

“That time was serious, Yoongi. Your mother was crying. We didn’t even know where you left. You didn’t even bring any money as much as we know. And somehow you just came back afterwards like nothing happened.”

“Cause nothing really happened.”

“I doubt it.”

“See? Nosy.”

“Honestly, where did you even go?”

Yoongi let out a smirk, knowing that it would only make his friends even more curious. This time his eyes darted towards the gym’s door, noticing some movement behind it. He was right. He saw some figures, long-haired, walking towards them.

“It’s a secret,” he said. “Anyway, it’s Minju and the girls.”

Seokjin turned his head, raised a smile and waved towards the girls. Jeon Minju, the prettiest girl in their class and the entire three years combined. Jeon Minju, whom everyone always wanted to date. But not Min Yoongi. He knew his boundaries. That girl was way out of his league. Instead of fighting his ways almost too bloodily across rows and rows of fellow contenders, he chose to watch the brutal fight safely as a spectator with popcorn on his lap. Yoongi was simply too damn lazy to fight over a girl.

“Hello boys, basketball as usual?” the girl said. She got the most perfect eyes and lips as someone could ever have, or so Yoongi thought. Her hair was long and seemed soft to the touch, though of course Yoongi never had the chance to do so. “Or wrestling?” she said, looking over towards Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin who were still embarrassing themselves, rolling on the floor.

“Don’t mind them. They were kids, entirely numb to the norm of society,” Yoongi said. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Just visiting my favorite little cousin, that’s all,” Minju said, glancing towards Jungkook at the other end of the gym, surprisingly teaching Namjoon some moves (and who just protested earlier about respecting the elderly now, huh?)

Jeon Minju, the prettiest girl in their entire class was the older cousin of Jeon Jungkook. Their family was so close, sometimes you could say that she was more like an older sister as well. That was pretty much the other reason why she hung around them sometimes and visited them on their Thursdays. To bring her little cousin some food to eat, of course. Or simply-

“Just Jungkookie? Not our favorite Seokjin-hyung here?” teased Yoongi.

He enjoyed seeing the flushed look on Minju’s face and a slight blush from Seokjin’s.

“Come on Minju-ah. We all know that you like Seokjin-hyung. Just confess your love right here right now.”

-because Minju liked Seokjin, which everybody in their group already knew. It was excruciatingly obvious. 

“Not in front of you, at least,” she said, sticking a tongue to him. “What about you yourself? I hear that you like Yujin, huh?”

Yoongi scoffed. That was definitely Namjoon’s doing.

“She’s outside the gym with Suji, Jaein and Yuna. Want to say hi?” she said with a flirtatious smile. He knew that she was expecting a blush of some sort but Yoongi kept his flat demeanor. Having Yoongi not answering, she turned her face towards the three idiots who were still doing god-knows-what.

“Isn’t that Jimin, the new kid?”

“Yeah, odd seeing him like this, huh?” answered Seokjin.

“I was about to say that. Even in class I barely remember him being there. He’s so-, gloomy.”

“And here he is looking completely like a different person,” added Seokjin.

Yoongi left after that, not wanting to interrupt two lovebirds making evident hints in front of each other. He had secretly made a bet with Namjoon about when would they finally be together. Minju left not long after that and as she ran back towards the door, he could see four other heads peeking inside. Girls. They were indeed troublesome.

The real practice finally started and they practiced until around 7 in the evening, the sky already dark outside. That day Yoongi polished up his three pointers and the other finally cheered when Namjoon managed to shoot the ball through the hoop for three times in a row. A stop at the nearest mini market was something that Hoseok recommended, so the seven of them trotted along their town’s path slowly with laughter filling the air as they took a detour and ended up sitting in front of the mini market, eating ice creams.

Not missing the night sky he loved the most, Yoongi lifted his head, resting his back on the wall behind him. His other friends were arguing over something stupid (last time he paid attention, it was about whether borrowing underwear a thing deemed as acceptable or not) and his own mind went astray, floating somewhere between Leo’s tail and Cancer’s claw (he pretended, of course, for Min Yoongi wasn’t gifted with the ability to differ the real constellation of the stars). He thought about learning astronomy for real one day and before he even realized it, his fingers were making a slow beat, tapping on the wooden bench.

He thought about another series of lines he definitely had to write as soon as he got home. He thought about stars, and basketball, and what winning their first trophy would feel like. He thought about the days he spent in the gym. He thought about how he despised getting home, only to see his father who represented the cage that he hated the most. Somehow those strings of thoughts ended in the face of Park Jimin.

Yoongi turned his head towards a distinct sound that woke him from his thoughts. Park Jimin was laughing out loud, seeing Taehyung beside him (the former had apparently taken the bet of biting an ice cream just like that, he developed a brain freeze, thus resulted in a very, laughable and weird facial expression).

He thought about what Minju had said. It was definitely weird to see the boy laughing like this now after a first few weeks of pouts. His friends did wonder, no mistake in that.

Seeing the laughing boy like that, he thought about a cocoon, opening up itself, spreading its wing to make a butterfly.

No, he thought about the stars.

He definitely thought about the stars again.

 

 

My friends did wonders. The brat was a different person now.

 

+.-.+

 

It was weird to say that Jimin was doing better, because he was not doing worse before, nor that the boy was sick or anything around that. But at least, there was indeed something wrong with the boy before, whatever that was, and as if it was a sickness, he was slowly getting better. He smiled more, taking his head off of the ground slowly (if it was a perfect 90 degrees before, now it had turned into 45 degrees, maybe). The change was even cringe-worthy to Yoongi, partly because he realized himself noticing.

With the competition coming in June, they practiced thrice a week until it slowly turned into almost everyday. There was something about playing for two years together and adding a certain someone that bothered the harmony, philosopher Kim said one day (which Yoongi treated as bullshit). A Jimin amongst them was like a new beat to the sound that needed to be re-polished, their captain said. To that metaphor Yoongi could probably understand.

That day they finished at around six, the sky outside was scarlet and perfectly just how Yoongi loved it the most. They were talking about going around for a bit of the mountain’s fresh air with their bikes, when Jimin excused himself about something of his being left behind in the classroom and went to get it, telling the others to leave him. The words itched Yoongi somehow.

“Want us to wait for you?” said Taehyung.

“No, I’ll be okay. Just go on without me,” Jimin said, running back towards the classroom.

Yoongi brought his bicycle that day. Seokjin had a bike, Taehyung had one too and he usually let Hoseok rode behind him since the latter didn’t have any. Jungkook was fine with a skateboard and the kid was indeed good at it. Namjoon, almost too comically, had brought his scooter instead, muttering something about a flattened tire underneath the laugh and mockery of his friends. The original idea was having Jimin rode behind Seokjin’s because the boy didn’t have a bike, but now-

“Well, if he’s not going then-,” said Taehyung, shrugging his shoulder.

The others walked towards the gate, Seokjin said about meeting Minju and the girls at the mini market later. Yoongi just walked in silence, his eyes lingering towards the window of their class, furrowing his brows to the thought of Park Jimin, taking whatever of his that he had left behind. Knowing the brat, somehow Yoongi didn’t believe his words just as easily as that.

“You guys just go on without me,” Yoongi said, stopping on his track.

“Why, hyung? You’re feeling off,” asked Jungkook.

“Nah, I left my notebook again,” he said, lying, not wanting to be mocked about the others that he ‘cared’ about Jimin and wanting to check on the boy.

The others, fortunately, didn’t bet an eye and waved their hands as Yoongi turned his heels and ran towards the series of staircase, reaching for their classroom. He bolted along the corridor, thinking and at the same time feeling how annoyed he would be, finding the brat sobbing again alone in the classroom like some freak in this ungodly hour. He was pretty much convinced that that scene would greet him as soon as he reached the classroom. And here he was, thinking that Jimin was finally getting better.

He was too preoccupied in his mind that he bumped into something (or rather-, someone) at the nearest turn, losing his balance but managed to regain it in matter of second.

“Hyung, you’re scaring me!” the voice said.

Yoongi blinked and realized it to be the Park Jimin himself (and here he was thinking that what he bumped to was not something from this earth, given to the dark alleyway and haunting surrounding during this hour in the deserted school building).

“Jimin?”

“What are you doing here, hyung?” he asked.

What am I doing here? He thought that he was about to see the boy crying like he had seen countless time before in the classroom. But here he was without face wet and red rims underneath his eyes.

“Do you forget something too?”

“No, I-,”

-was thinking about checking whether you’re crying or not. Because if you are, I’m definitely going to scold you again. Or punch you in the face finally for real.

“Nothing, forget it. You already get what you’ve forgotten?” asked Yoongi.

Jimin nodded.

Yoongi looked at the boy in front of him again, realizing how stupid he really was for thinking that he would burst into tears again. Here he was, being completely fine. Yoongi worried for nothing. Wait, why did he worry in the first place? That was ridiculous.

“Let’s get going then,” Yoongi said, turning his back and walked straight towards his bicycle outside, feeling like punching his own face if possible.

Jimin complied, following him without uttering another words.

Somehow, this felt as embarrassing as when he - without realizing - started the supposedly conversation to Jimin with nothingness instead. He groaned, fisting his hand in his pocket and kept on walking.

They had walked passed the school, the scary building stood behind them and Yoongi quickly went towards his parked bicycle. It was when Jimin turned the other way and headed straight towards the school gate instead, did Yoongi call out to him, riding his bicycle already and absentmindedly asked.

"Where are you going?"

The younger gave him a surprised look.

"Home?"

"The others are meeting Minju at the mini market. We're going for a ride today, remember?" he said, stopping his bicycle next to Jimin.

The younger just stood there looking a bit confused, not giving him another word whatsoever and somehow it pissed Yoongi easily, just standing there with his bike, waiting for Jimin's words.

"So come on," he said, looking a little bit annoyed. He just wanted to get going and catch up with the others.

Jimin flushed, taking the annoyance like he always did as if he had done something wrong but looking a little embarrassed at the same time as well.

"You're waiting for me?" Jimin asked with a slight blush on his face.

And Yoongi didn't know whether he hate that blush or himself more for being completely stupid. Somehow that made Yoongi regret asking the boy. No, no, he already did something stupid by 'actually' waiting for Jimin. Or checking on him, whatever the word was. Either way, Min Yoongi was an idiot. Here Jimin was now, making things felt and looked so blunt.

"No, I-,"

He groaned again.

"Well if you don't want to go then-," and a little bit of Yoongi hoped that the boy did, though he knew how cruel it was. At least it would help him be the usual cold and mean Min Yoongi that he was and most of all, save him from this embarrassment.

"No, no, hyung. I would love to," he said, waving his hand in front of Yoongi as if it could correct the misunderstanding.

"All right then," Yoongi sighed.

There was no backseat on Yoongi's bike. The backseat was broken years ago in a not-so-fortunate accident that got Namjoon getting a stitch on his left arm and Yoongi with a twisted ankle. Instead, there were now these two metal rod attached to the base of the back side's tire, the ones where you should supposedly put your two feet on when you were sitting on the backseat.

Jimin stood still again, eyeing the bicycle before turning his eyes towards him and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"What are you waiting for, seriously?"

"You're giving me a ride?"

Somehow Yoongi hoped that Jimin couldn't be more literal and reminded him of the embarrassing thing that he did today (which was more than he could count already). Yes, Min Yoongi being nice was the last thing that this earth would witness, for tomorrow would certainly be the apocalypse.

"You want me to wait for you as you slowly walk too?" he said, emphasizing the slow part. That was his way of saying 'i mean, i got a bike. Why do we have to be so stupid and waste so much time?' Why did he have to be so stupid and give Jimin a ride now? Why couldn't the boy just shut up and ride the bike with him before he realized that he indeed had offer him a ride. Verbalizing his action made everything seemed awkward and way too nice. And nice didn't even exist in his dictionary.

Jimin nodded, looking at his bike before grabbing his shoulder with fingers trembling and hopped on. Making sure that he got the balance right, Yoongi pedaled the bike after the boy had found his own balance, feeling it slightly heavier than usual. Jimin grabbed both his shoulder by the hands, trying to keep himself from falling.

Yoongi sighed for the hundreth time that day, contemplating about the situation that he got himself into. He didn't want to look nice, especially towards Jimin and here he was being everything that he shouldn't be. Min Yoongi was supposed to be mean and cold and frightening. Min Yoongi wasn't supposed to give bicycle ride to crying toddler and console them with pretty words.

They rode in silence and the air certainly felt heavier than usual. Brushing that off, Yoongi just pedaled faster so he could reach the mini market sooner.

Empty benches greeted them as they got to the mini market, indicating that the boys were nowhere to be seen. They were supposed to meet there with the girls. The boys had probably taken off somewhere else and by now, guessing where they went would be a game fun enough if Yoongi didn't pity his own feet for pedaling up and down the hill of Yeoryang-myeon with Jimin on his back.

He said something about buying something to drink and told Jimin to call on the others because he had left his phone at home. As Yoongi got out of the mini market with a can of soda, he felt like crushing it in his palm as Jimin said that the battery of his phone went dead before he got to call Taehyung.

"Oh Park Jimin, can't you be anymore useful," he said, muttering under his breath before he threw himself on the bench.

"I'm so-,"

"Don't say that, please. Geez, you know how much i hate that."

Jimin gulped.

"If you're going to say i'm sorry again to answer that, i would certainly punch you in the face," he threatened.

Today was horrible. Everything happened because he had to be an idiot for another idiot none other than Park Jimin.

He let out a huge sigh before he leaned his head towards the wall behind him, looking up at the sky above him. It was completely dark now and the stars had come out to view. He let his eyes wander from one star to next and before he knew it, he wasn't so pissed off anymore. The sky always had that effect on him, something that he could never explain.

Finishing up his bottle of soda in one gulp, Yoongi let his gaze turned towards Jimin again who was still standing awkwardly there.

"Let's just go home," he said.

"You don't want to find the others?"

Yoongi snorted. "They would already be in god knows where and I'm not very keen on touring the whole town to find them with you on my back," he said.

He walked towards the bike and waited for Jimin who followed him in silence.

"If you wanted to find the others it would be fine. I can get back on my own," Jimin said softly.

It was exactly the part of Park Jimin that he hated the most. Being scared and such a whim, no different from those 1st graders who was scared easily by him. That exact part of Park Jimin that always thought himself as this small ant, invisible to people's eyes. Thing was, the boy turned out to be a big fucking elephant to his eyes and he couldn't even pretend him to be non-existent because these days, Park Jimin seemed to be the only thing that he saw. Yoongi found that to be annoying at so many level.

"Don't be ridiculous," Yoongi just answered. He got on his bike again, waiting for Jimin who just stood there and seemed to think whether it was the right decision or not.

In the end the younger climbed behind him again and Yoongi took off.

The night's wind carressed his cheeks and he lifted his head on the ride, trying to steal a glimpse of the stars and the night sky. He was pedaling down the rocky roads when Jimin chose that opportunity to ask about something that made him lose his balance.

"Are you checking whether I cry again back at school when I said I left something behind?" Jimin asked shyly, his voice stuttered a bit. But the boy did ask, almost bluntly even. So blunt it only needed a yes or no answer for Yoongi, one that actually should be answer by a yes and was true in every way possible. Thank god he managed to keep his balance, for the question nearly cost them a few scratches and bruises, or maybe even more.

"No," he said immediately, trying to keep his calm demeanor and the balance at the same time. Though somehow, it sounded so much like a lie to him. Well, it was indeed a lie, something that he hoped Jimin wouldn't be able to realize.

The silence that followed afterwards were the heaviest that he ever felt and he was at least relieved that Jimin couldn't see his expression. After a long and uncomfortable silence Yoongi raised his voice again, trying to keep the dignity that he got left.

"I don't care about you if that's what you're wondering about," he said.

The grip on his shoulder was starting to itch.

"You hear me? This is me not caring about you, okay?" he repeated.

Jimin laughed upon that, and somehow it didn't take Yoongi to lift his head and see the star to make him mile.

"Got it, hyung."

 

The brat's not that heavy.

 

 

Chapter Text

"Too bad you didn't show up yesterday ," mocked Namjoon. "Yujin was sad. She was hoping that you come, you know."

"Damn it Namjoon. Don't start making rumors already," Yoongi said, elbowing Namjoon beside him.

It was another recess and the seven of them were lounging at their usual spot in front of the door that led directly to the roof. Turned out, the others rode their bikes around the town with the girls yesterday, thinking that Yoongi and Jimin would simply pass on the occasion and head home. That, or as Taehyung had comically and almost too seriously explained, how he hoped that the telepathic connection that he had with Jimin would serve as a guidance for the latter to find him.

“Somehow I kind of envy you for not being there, hyung,” commented Jungkook. “We all got to feel like crap, having to see Seokjin-hyung flirting with Minju-noona the entire evening.”

“I believe it’s the other way around,” Seokjin protested with face blushing.

“Either way she rode on behind him and wrapped her hands so lovey-dovey-ish around this hyung’s waist.”

“Anyway, it’s not fair that there’s only one cute couple riding their bike yesterday. So Hoseok and I decided then to come out and show the other how much of a sweet couple we really are,” Taehyung barged in, making ugly faces and pinching on Hoseok’s cheek at the same time. Hoseok, being the stupid person that he was, played along, puffing his own cheek and used his finger to nudge on Taehyung’s nose almost too repulsively.

Yoongi felt like puking. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Jimin looking somehow a little bit more restless than usual.

“I don’t know which one I detest the most. Seokjin and Minju being completely oblivious towards each other, or Hoseok and Taehyung being disgusting,” said Namjoon. He took a glance towards the two idiots who were now holding a book to cover their faces and pretended to make out behind it. “I guess it’s you guys.”

“They’re always like this, don’t mind them,” said Seokjin to Jimin. The younger just nodded, being silent. Seokjin realized the restlessness too, Yoongi reckoned.

But indeed, Taehyung and Hoseok had always been the most-, touchy, amongst them. They liked to hug each other during bicycle’s ride or wrestling and even went as far as cuddling during their sleepovers. Of course it wouldn’t mean more than it should be, since Yoongi was there when Hoseok talked to him, Namjoon and Seokjin, with face flushed and panic written in everything that he did about going on second base with this particular girl back in 1st grade. He remembered the almost too embarrassing ‘It’s okay if I squeezed the boobs? I mean, that’s what they’re for, right? Squeezing?’

As for Taehyung, Yoongi didn’t know much and wasn't too keen on figuring out either. If he could even get to third base, he could imagine the boy conversing with the vagina instead. It wouldn’t be surprising, raelly, when it was Kim Taehyung who did.

“If one day the girls really think that you two are gay with each other, I won’t be surprised,” commented Namjoon.

“Even if you are now, I won’t be,” joked Yoongi.

The others laughed.

Or so Yoongi thought.

 

(Because Jimin didn’t)

 

+.-.+

 

Yoongi was that lazy to the point that he didn’t even bother to remember their opponent’s teams name and the school they came from. What more important, was that he beat their asses off and win the competition. Everybody was giving their best, training hard passed around 8. Even Namjoon who was the worst amongst them managed to get better. As their trainings grew more intense, Yoongi found himself spending time more and more often with Park Jimin, walking down the path towards their home together.

Sometimes they walked in silence, both being too exhausted to erect a conversation after such training. Other times, Yoongi found himself conversing with the boy, something as simple as a “you need to do better on that last rebound” or “homework from page 15, right? Damn, I’m going to forget that" (and Yoongi did three steps later).

Their relationship stayed like that until spring turned into summer and he found it easier to deal with Park Jimin when the brat was not being the solemn, pathetic-looking, new kid that he was for the first entire month in this town.

He didn’t know when did the ‘solemn pathetic brat’ turned into a ‘Park Jimin’, but Yoongi reckoned it was that one day after their first match.

The seven of them sat on the Auraji train station with feet fidgeting, waiting for the train that would bring them to Jeongseon-eup. Taehyung had been constantly rubbing his palm together and making comments about everything that he saw (something like 'is it just me or that bird right there look too white than usual?' or even 'hyung, i swear to god, that cloud right there look exactly like my shit from yesterday morning). Other than Taehyung, the others were quieter than they usually were. Yoongi and Jungkook were probably the most laid back ones. Later did Yoongi realize, that the fact that this was their last chance to win the competition was gnawing at them. With that, followed the realization that graduation and suneung was upon them just around the corner.

He glanced towards Jimin, looking at the ground like usual. The boy was biting his lips and squeezing his fingers. Taehyung had gone from annoying to completely non-tolerable, spitting out words as fast as Busta Rhymes, Yoongi had to actually tell him to shut up.

“Don’t be nervous,” Yoongi said to Jimin who only nodded in approval.

The latter held up his head and took a good look at each of their friends, coping in with the nervousness with ways of their own. Jungkook was leaning on his seat, sitting slump with hands crossed across his chest and earphones plugged on his ears, closing his eyes. Taehyung was bothering Hoseok, remembering to keep his mouth shut as Yoongi glared at him again. Namjoon and Seokjin were both quiet.

“Is it always this quiet?” asked Jimin.

Yoongi shrugged. He rather had silence than Taehyung’s unbearable nagging.

“Probably because we realized that this is going to be our last chance,” he commented.

Jimin fumbled on with his fingers, biting his lips again. He turned his head, looking at Yoongi and gulped before asking.

“What if we don’t even win this one?”

Yoongi scoffed at that. Actually you could say that he was underestimating the preliminary round and fighting against this one high school (which name he’d forgotten, of course) in a whole, victory would be something easy to accomplish or so he thought.

“Don’t worry about that, Park Jimin. You won’t screw up.”

The younger’s face lightened up to the words. It occurred to Yoongi how easily Jimin turned from a scowl towards a smile these last days with nothing but mere words. Seeing that somehow made him as annoyed as seeing the boy cried. That came out really weird because he sure as hell knew he hated seeing the boy cried. Now he hated seeing him smiled. Maybe Yoongi did hate the boy.

“Just think of something else instead,” he said, crossing his arm and laid his back against the wall, looking at the blue sky in front of him. Today was a good day. A good day for an excursion trip or so. But instead, the seven of them were going to (as Namjoon had hyperbolically said) war. Their leader had even come up with a speech earlier and it wouldn’t surprise him if he even managed to come up with a war cry when they reached the so-called battlefield.

“Something else," he heard the boy mumbled, repeating his words. He heard the boy shuffled with his bag before adding. "By the way, why's it Bulletproof, hyung?"

Yoongi turned his head to see Jimin taking out the folded uniform from his bag and sneered. Yoongi truthfully hated that name, finding it tacky beyond imagination.

"It was Hoseok's idea-," screw the boy. "He thought that we are bulletproof, immune to whatever words or negative shit. Something like that. Fluffy idealist fuckery and stuff."

He recalled the day when they thought about a name. It was their first regional basketball competition, back when they were all still a first grader. Instead of Jungkook there was Donghyuk, Hyosang and Hunchul with them, all being a year older. The name itself was impromptu, them being handed a sheet of paper by the school to list all of their names and Hoseok just went ahead with the tacky group title.

"That's pretty nice," Jimin said, taking out the folded uniform and observing it very much like the first time he got it on initiation night.

Yoongi scoffed. "It's tacky as hell."

"Hey it's not!" Hoseok suddenly screamed, realizing their conversation.

"Please hyung, it is," Jungkook said.

"Oh come on. It's upbeat, positive and hopeful. It's awesome and cool," Hoseok tried to defend himself.

"Well, at least it's better than our opponent teams' name," Namjoon commented, fishing out a sheet of paper that read about today's competition information. "Bulletproof boys versus Topp Dogg. Topp dogg with a double p and g. Who the hell name their basketball team Topp Dogg."

"Who the hell name theirs Bulletproof boys," Yoongi sneered again.

"Who the hell find something as awesome as this as weird?!"

The six of them with the exception of Hoseok raised their hands. Naturally.

 

+.-.+

 

“And who the hell’s nervous about not going to win the first match, huh?!” screamed Taehyung, standing on his seat, raising his glass to the air.

Half of them were drunk, both on alcohol and victory. Seokjin’s mom had cooked them an extra something for the winning team. Namjoon brought some soju from his house. That, and they purchased some beer from old-man Jung’s store. He was not that strict about selling underaged teenagers alcohol as long as it was Seokjin who bought them with smile across his face and this very kind voice that the other had nicknamed : Seokjin’s mom mode.

“72-34. We slay them, folks!” Taehyung screamed again, face red and flushed from the mix of beer and soju.

“Seriously, hyung. This is only the first match and you’re already this hyped and drunk from winning,” commented Jungkook. He purposely refused to drink and Seokjin had prohibited him from doing so as well.

“Loosen up a bit, you old man,” said Taehyung, coming towards their youngest and wrapped his hand around his shoulder. “It’s okay, that means we’ll have more and more party!”

“No it’s not okay, Taehyung. We won’t be doing this again until we win the trophy for real, okay? Damn, who got me to bring the soju anyway,” said Namjoon.

Their initial plan was opening the bottle when they got to win the trophy. Somehow, it had turned out into winning the first match instead. It was an easy win for Yoongi, since their opponent wasn’t that difficult to handle.

“It’s you yourself, dumbass,” commented Yoongi.

Namjoon mouthed a small ‘oh’ before slumping back on the chair. Their captain had drunk too much, it seemed. He didn’t do so badly today, managing to spend almost ten solid minutes on the court and even managed to score once. Either Namjoon was getting good, or their opponent was indeed that horrible. Everybody patted their captain on the back and told him the latter.

“Hey, at least I got to score once!”

“And Jimin here saved us countless time with his rebound,” said Taehyung, this time coming from Jimin’s back and hugged him.

The boy was startled with the sudden touch but he raised his smile and answered. “Y-yeah, of course I did,” he said, with face red and beaming with happiness.

“Yoongi-hyung won’t even be the MVP if I don’t pass him half the shot he scored,” Jimin continued, voice gaining confidence slowly before looking back at Yoongi with a smile across his face. The boy was clearly drunk as well.

“Who made Yoongi the MVP?” asked Seokjin.

“Yoongi? I thought the MVP is Namjoon,” added Hoseok before they all erupted in laughter.

 

+.-.+

 

Tomorrow would be Saturday and Seokjin had actually proposed the idea of a sleepover. The other agreed but Yoongi declined. He just felt like being alone that night. It was nearing 1 am when he finally walked back towards his house, hands in his pocket and heads tilting upwards to see the night sky. He liked the breeze and the solitude that his town could offer as night fell.

“Wait a sec, hyung.”

Yoongi turned around, seeing Jimin catching up to him, making small jogs from Seokjin’s door. Jungkook was waving at them from behind before shutting the door close. Faintly, Yoongi could hear Taehyung's scream and Hoseok's notorious shriek. He was glad he chose to leave those dimwits behind.

“I thought that you were going to stay the night with the other as well.”

Jimin let out a small laugh. “I don’t want to see Hoseok and Taehyung being all lovey-dovey tonight.”

Yoongi scoffed to that and he kept on walking, heads tilted up. Maybe he was an astronomer in the past life. Or maybe an astronaut, Yoongi didn’t know. He couldn’t even give a reason why he fell in love with the sky. Sometimes he thought he didn’t need one. To fall in love with something so beautiful, he realized that someone didn’t need a reason at all.

“Seoul doesn’t have this sky,” Jimin trailed on suddenly, mimicking Yoongi who’d been having his eyes on the sky. “You couldn’t see the star in Seoul.”

Yoongi realized that this was the first time Jimin had brought the topic of Seoul into the conversation.

“Sometimes you got to see a dot of light, but then you realize that it’s only the airplane or a helicopter."

The older shrugged. "It's sad."

"Yeah, it is."

They stayed like that for a few minutes and that was exactly how their conversation went for days. Small talk about insignificant matters. But this time, Jimin took a deep breath before continuing softly.

"Everything's sad back at Seoul."

He turned his face towards Jimin, raising an eyebrow, intrigued by the words. Jimin was next to him, face looking straight ahead with blank expression, as if he was seeing something far beyond the roads and the hills, recalling memories long forgotten. And Jimin was walking next to him, right beside him. Funny how Yoongi realized that and wondered, since when did Park Jimin start walking beside him rather than behind him or at other circumstances, with him staring at the boy's back.

"I-," Jimin trailed off and stopped midsentence. The boy shook his head, probably remembering how the words wouldn't even get to leave his lips if it wasn't for the alcohol. The younger had indeed chunk down a glass or two that would explain where the words he was spitting out right now came from.

The silence that followed wasn't an uncomfortable one. They just kept on walking and Yoongi didn't find the need to pry.

"Hey," Yoongi called out to him again in the end.

Jimin hummed in response, turning his face towards the elder.

"If everything's sad back at Seoul-,"

The younger raised his eyebrow, tilting his head slightly in curiosity.

"-then everything that will be left for you here is happiness."

Jimin blinked twice to that. Yoongi thought that the brat would smile like always, soft and shy, but instead this time he laughed. The elder rolled his eyes and regretted for ever saying those words.

"Oh my god, hyung, you do care about me," he said.

"What? No I don't. Just because I said a few nice things, doesn't mean I care about you," Yoongi said with face starting to somehow blush.

"I thought you were scary and mean at first."

"I am mean and scary."

"No you're not, hyung," Jimin said, smiling.

"Yes I am. Want me to prove it to you?" he returned the word, smirking.

"What are you even going to do, hyung?"

"Strap you to a chair and force you to watch Taehyung and Hoseok giving you a lap dance."

Jimin laughed even louder.

"That would be a torture."

"Told you I'm mean," Yoongi said with a scoff.

"No, you're nice, hyung. You just don't want to accept that."

For once, he wondered whether that was true. He clicked his tongue. No, Yoongi always said that he was mean and lived up to the name because being nice was simply too overwhelming and troublesome. That, and also by saying that he was mean, people wouldn’t expect him to do nice shit for them.

"Like you know anything about me," he said. That sounded rude, but oddly right, since it was a very Min Yoongi thing to say.

The words probably got to Jimin, since the boy became quiet. Maybe he got back to being scared of him again. Yoongi thought about correcting his words again, trying to avoid the misunderstanding that Jimin probably had always fallen into, but he was wrong because this time Jimin returned his words.

"I know enough," he replied.

The brat was grinning, looking at Yoongi as if he’d known everything that there was to know about him. At some point, it pissed him off, and it should be, especially now. But instead, he felt more amazed by the words. Amazed wasn’t even the right word to describe it. He simply never had someone saying something as cheesy as that to his face, and even as it sound as disgusting as it was, Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to hate it right now.

“You’re so cheesy it’s disgusting,” he said, raising his head and placed a playful smack to the younger’s head.

“Okay, I take that back, you are mean.”

“I’m more than just mean. I’m your worst nightmare, Park Jimin.”

 

(And without him knowing, he was indeed going to be one)

 

+.-.+

 

Their conversation continued to the point that Jimin forgot to take the turn towards his own house and ended up in front of Yoongi’s instead. It got to the point where they just continued talking, without Jimin intending to go back towards his own house and Yoongi not wanting to open the door behind him and stepped in. It got to the point where they feet went sore from standing and they sat on the verandah’s steps of Yoongi’s house, talking about stuff Yoongi couldn’t even recall anymore.

But he remembered them talking, something alongside Namjoon and his hideous sunglass collection to the scary story of their small town. At one point, Jimin talked about doing dance performances in Seoul. He didn’t even know Jimin dance before. At others, it was him who said that he’d been writing rap lyrics and making beats. This time it was Jimin’s part to be amazed.

He didn’t know what exactly they talk about, but in the end they did. It was weird, knowing that Yoongi never talked this much with someone other than Namjoon before. Maybe he was drunk too. He remembered drinking only one shot of soju so it would be weird if he was indeed drunk. He could take his alcohol well, after all.

In the end, he couldn’t come up with a logical explanation, even when he found himself still conversing with the brat as the red slowly crept back upon the night sky, telling them that it was close to sun rise. It was finally a que for Jimin to realize that he’d been spending god knows how much hour in front of a friend’s house. He went into a stuttering sorry and mumbling about his grandmother worrying about him, before he dazed off towards his own house, not letting Yoongi to even retort the ‘sorry’ he hated the most.

Finally stepping inside his own house, Yoongi found himself seated in front of his desk with his notebook sprawled open instead of collapsing on top of the bed. Writing had been a habit of his he couldn’t go to sleep without doing it before.

That morning, he wrote about lyrics just like he always did. About winning the first match, the nervousness that haunted them on the train ride, the drunken victory, and somehow he always ended it with a Park Jimin. A small smile crept upon his face.

 

Today I met Park Jimin.

 

The conversation had somehow turned into a fading memory of a dream, too hazy to remember. He thought about it once again, remembering the tiniest detail that he could come up with.

Somehow, all that swarmed his mind was nothing more than the view of the night sky once again.

 

Today I (finally) met Park Jimin.

 

(That was the first time he wrote the name Park Jimin in his journal)

 

 

Chapter Text

It became a nondisclosure agreement. They would always return back home together, though most of it was in favor of their little band of friends, spending time someplace else after school. At one time, they spent the evening after practice at Hoseok’s, watching some horror movies (or more like forcing the poor host to melt his own eyeball). Poor Hoseok kept on screaming at the top of his lungs and Yoongi found it really amusing. Other time, they went to Taehyung's and poisoned the mind of both his sister and brother with stuff that Seokjin dubbed as 'entirely inappropriate they would scar those innocent soul for life'.

Either way, Yoongi always ended up going back home with Jimin. Sometimes Yoongi brought his bicycle and Jimin would ride behind him, standing on the bike with his hands grasping his shoulder firmly.

The next match came a week after their first one in Jeongseon-eup and this time they were less nervous than they were. Slaying their opponent yet again, Yoongi managed to see Jimin’s face lightenedd up in happiness, his grin wide and eyes literally sparkling as the last buzzer rang. It was probably the happiest Yoongi had seen the boy. That night he ended up writing a ‘The brat’s smile’s so big today I felt like puking’ in his journal with a smirk on his own face.

That day Minju and the girls came to the match to cheer on them as well. The idea was the twelve of them to spend the day in the town afterwards and celebrate.

Seokjin and Minju were practically glued to each other for the remains of the day, giggling to one another oh-so-disgustingly. Every time Seokjin and Minju started to get on their nerves for being too lovey-dovey (despite them not being a couple or rather, not yet), Hoseok and Taehyung would do a charade that was even more disgusting to watch.

They spent the day in a nice café in town after the game. The two groups went along nicely, since both had gone out together from time to time. Namjoon did his horrible part of thinking that he was a matchmaker of some sort for always pushing him towards Yujin. The girl ended up sitting next to him in the café that day, shy and quiet, and definitely realizing the unwanted attention that Namjoon gave them.

In the midst of cacophonous conversation, Yoong somehow ended staring at Yujin next to him. It wasn’t that he got a crush on the girl. Yoongi didn’t even think much about girls. His only history with a girlfriend was someone back in 1st grade and it was enough to give him a headache.

The girls from Minju’s group were definitely the closest that he got to female friends. Minju was definitely Seokjin’s no doubt about it, though he found speaking with the girl easier than the others. Suji was just too beautiful and such a ray of sunshine, he didn’t think she would suit him. After all, seeing how the girl sat next to Jungkook and having such fun conversation with the latter, he thought that something would definitely happen between them like his own cousin with their oldest hyung. Yuna was more of a bro to him rather than a girl (on top of that she really liked wearing converse and Yoongi couldn’t stand them) and Jaein was just too young for him (two years difference shouldn’t be a problem, actually, but Yoongi just made it so). He felt a bit stupid thinking about his friends like this as if he was going to find a perfect girl to marry.

Yoongi shook his head. He stared at the caramel macchiato that he ordered before looking back at Yujin next to him. She was shy and quiet (or at least that was what he thought about her at first), and Yoongi thought maybe that was the type of a girl that he would fall for. Shy and quiet. Other than that, she also had this chubby cheek just like the shy and quiet-,

“Jimin-ah, tell us about your life back in Seoul. Why do you even move here?”

Yoongi quickly diverted his gaze before Yujin managed to realize that he’d been staring. He ended up looking towards Jimin who was giving them this weird look, the one that always popped out whenever the topic of Seoul came into conversation.

It was Minju who asked and the other went quiet, waiting for an answer everybody was so curious about. Jimin never talked about it properly with the boys and the other never really asked about it anyway.

The boy gulped.

“Seoul is nice,” he said with a small smile, trying to avoid the other’s eyes. He had gone back to being the pathetic Park Jimin that he was. Always when it was about Seoul did he retrace back to this cocoon of his, looking back towards the ground he had grown to love.

Yoongi knew that he was lying. He clearly remembered the boy’s words that day. ‘Everything in Seoul is sad.’ Whatever happened there, Jimin didn’t really find the need and intention to share it with them. Not yet, maybe.

“And you’ve found our town to be even nicer and greater, right?” Yoongi said.

Jimin raised his head as he heard Yoongi’s voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

He looked back at Yoongi’s eyes and he could make out the ‘thank you’ said nonverbally there.

 

+.-.+

 

They decided to watch a movie together since there was no such thing as a cinema back in Yeoryang-myeon. Yoongi wasn’t really up for it since he was not a fan of something he called ‘spending money when you can simply watch them on the internet for free later on’. Seokjin and Minju were the most eager one and Yoongi didn't even need to ask why.

"I think I'll pass. I can't stand watching either the two of them-," he said, pointing at Seokjin and Minju, "or them," this time pointing towards Hoseok and Taehyung.

"Come on, Yoongi, don't be such a party pooper," said Hoseok.

"After all, Yujin would be disappointed," this time Namjoon added in. Yoongi elbowed him in return. Hard.

In the end they all huddled together in front of the cinema, choosing a movie to pick. Even making up their mind together proved to be troublesome Yoongi, couldn't stop rolling his eyes.

"You’re really not going to watch the movie with us?" this time it was Yujin herself that asked, her eyes looking nice and every bit of soft and shy.

Namjoon cooed in before adding a, "Don't tell me you're planning on catching the train and going home yourself." Okay, actually a part of him had proposed such idea and Namjoon just saw right through that.

“Tell you what, you all just go watch the movie and I'll hang around," he said, sighing.

“You seriously love your wallet more than us?” mocked Hoseok.

“More than you, that much is certain,” Yoongi answered, smirking.

He watched as his other friends entered the cinema after purchasing the ticket. Yujin gave him a look he couldn’t figure out the meaning of before grabbing Suji by the waist and went inside. He thought about bailing on them for real when Jimin just stood there in front of him with face grinning.

“And you?”

“I’m here to make sure you won’t bail on us, hyung,” he said, almost too proudly. He got his hand on both his hips, looking smug and ridiculously excited.

They ended up going to the nearest fast food restaurant because Yoongi indeed loved his wallet more than his friends. He had purposely chosen the window-seat at the second floor just so he could see the sun set. It was nearing 6 and usually he would be spending it on his way home or the court, practicing. Resting his chin against his palm, he let his eyes darted outside, seeing the scarlet seeped into the sky in between buildings and shops.

Jimin was sitting in front of him, hands crossed on top of the table, that ridiculous grin still painting his face.

Yoongi snorted, decided to make some small talk even though he wasn't really a fan of it. “What do you think about Minju and her friends?” he asked, changing the topic. Talking about the sky would only bring out the melancholy in him. “Aren’t they pretty?”

Jimin shrugged.

“Of course they are. What? You want to date them, hyung?” he said, teasing.

Yoongi smirked. “Who doesn’t want to?”

Minju was deemed as the prettiest girl in school. Suji, who was one year younger than all of them, would easily replace the title as soon as they graduated. Sometimes he found it silly to see who would hook up with who, but in term of placing bets together with Namjoon, rumors sure turned out to be something a bit fun.

Jimin gave him a weird expression before answering, a mixed of disappointment and guilt and something more that he couldn’t really make out. He answered timidly, the smile wiped out from his face.

“Me?”

“Yah Park Jimin, there’s something seriously wrong with you then,” Yoongi said jokingly.

Jimin just gave him a shy smile in return. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes but Yoongi quickly disregarded that as the boy himself avoided his eyes and turned his attention this time towards the window.

(Later did Yoongi realize that he should have known all along)

 

+.-.+

 

“Nobody screams as loud as you do, Hoseok,” said Namjoon with face looking unamused. “I’m practically embarrassed to be sitting next to you in the cinema.”

“Hey, don’t insult my hobi. Poor hobi is scared,” Taehyung said, caressing Hoseok’s hair in manner that hurt Yoongi’s eyes.

The train ride back home was as embarrassing and loud as it could be and Yoongi regretted for not bailing on his friends when he got the chance to. Travelling with them meant certain things. Dignity was something long forgotten when Hoseok and Taehyung were added to the equation.

“For your information, what kind of a family movie got a bloody woman with a missing head, trying to look for her lost children?!”

“It’s exactly that kind of a family movie. Don’t you get it, hyung? The poor ghost was still searching for her children. A mother’s love for her children. See? Family movie,” said Jungkook.

“You’re definitely framing me to watch that. You know how scared I am for those kinds of movies.”

“And that’s exactly why we watch it,” chimed Seokjin.

The eldest hyung was probably enjoying every minute that he got from it since he would have some close proximity moment to spend with Minju.

“Hey, hey, have some mercy on Hoseok,” Minju said. “Next time we’ll watch something else.” She took a look at Yoongi before adding in. “And next time you have to come too, Yoongi.”

He rolled his eyes and snorted.

“Only if the movie’s so scary Hoseok’s going to piss his pants.”

 

+.-.+

 

Their third match would come in another week on Tuesday and they’d been preparing themselves for it. If they managed to pass that one, they would proceed to the semifinal. Rumor said, that at this one, they would be fighting against a team who wasn’t going to be as easy as the two they’d defeated already. They even practiced on Sunday in their gym, their teacher finally allowed them to use the facility most of the time. Namjoon had pretty much held the key to their gym and he even did a stupid thing as hid it in this certain pot in front of the building like he had shown Yoongi yesterday. Even if they didn’t end up there, they would practice at the outdoor basketball court of their small town, somewhere near Namjoon’s house. 

Sometimes Yoongi didn’t even know whether they met each other this constant for practicing, or simply a game of basketball had been a habit of theirs almost each time they were together.

With practice dawning on them every single day, Yoongi asked for a day off in Wednesday, thinking that he needed some time to be alone as well. He did that as a habit, spending days where he was completely alone in his room, away from Taehyung’s stupidity and or Namjoon’s philosophical shit. Sometimes he needed a rest from society and found himself doing nothing on top of his bed, rolling around aimlessly. On another more productive day, he would make some beat and record whatever he could from the equipment that he got in his room, having to stop pre-recording and redo the whole thing when his mother accidentally called from downstairs for lunch or when the others stopped in front of his house and called him out to play.

This Wednesday should be all about relaxing for a bit. The others had their own plan, Yoongi didn’t bother to ask what. He thought about going home as fast as he could when somehow he got held by their teacher instead, being asked to do some chores and brought some boxes to the teacher’s lounge like he did once before. Muttering under his breath he did so as quickly as he could.

It was when he jogged slowly towards his own bike, did he see Park Jimin, lounging at the school gate as if waiting for something. His face lightenedd up as he saw Yoongi walking towards the exit.

“Hey hyung,” he said, face beaming with excitement.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, almost too blatantly.

Jimin raised an eyebrow. “Waiting for you.”

Yoongi got on his bike and sighed. It indeed had turned into a nondisclosure agreement.

“I thought we only do that during practice,” he answered back, sounding so cold.

“What?”

“Going home together.”

Jimin made a small ‘oh’, the excitement that he harbored being wiped out as easily as that to Yoongi’s words in an instant. Yoongi looked at Jimin and noticed how sad the boy looked, his mouth forming a small pout. He got his eyes on the ground again already.

Yoongi chuckled. “All right, I’m messing with you. Stop looking so pathetic,” he said with a smirk.

It humored him to see how easy it took for Jimin to look excited yet again. The grin that Yoongi had known all too well now was smacked once again across the boy’s face.

The boy got on his back, the weight felt all too familiar to Yoongi at this point. Even during the ride, he had gone accustomed to the fingers gripping his shoulder. Jimin had fallen into his own rhythm, without him realizing. And here they were, spending each day together on the road.

“Why do you wait for me today?” he asked absentmindedly.

“I don’t know. I’ve always gone home with you, hyung,” Jimin answered, sounding as sincere as he was to Yoongi’s ear.

The elder simply nodded. Funny. At this point he tried to remember since when did this become a habit.

“Besides, how could I pass a free ride home when there’s one lying around?” Jimin said, giggling.

Yoongi felt a smirk building on his face.

“You brat.”

 

The brat waited for me today

 

 

Chapter Text

It was an awful fight. He never had one as terrible as that. His father slammed the table whilst his mother cried in the corner, telling the two to calm down. His brother meanwhile chose to leave the house in hope to flee the battle raging between the two Mins. It was about the same problem. Always. About how Yoongi wanted to be free, to leave their hometown and be what he wanted to be. And it always about how his father wanted him to stay. That, or enlisted himself into the army and then stayed. His father prospect about a fine future seemed to be a really dull one.

“I won't acknowledge you as my son if you go and pursue your worthless dream as an artist”, his father had said.

“Then I regret to have called you a father,” he retorted, before slamming the door shut behind him and left the house.

Here he was now, walking down the alley alone. Almost midnight. He'd been wandering the neighborhood for a good one hour or so. He had nowhere to go, he realized. Bolting out of the house without any money in his pocket was stupid. Going to Namjoon's place was a wise thing to do right now. But then his family would definitely look for him there, and he realized he couldn't ask the Kim to lie about his existence if his mother came knocking on their doorstep with a worried look in the middle of the night. The same went to his other friends. His family knew with whom he'd been spending his time and to whom he would ask for sanctuary if such things like these ever happened (again, he had to say).

Yes, all except one. His family wouldn't guess he that he would be there. Just for a night, he assumed. And that was the reason how he found himself knocking on Jimin's house, telling himself over and over again that this was okay (because of course Yoongi always had his pride to maintain).

He could hear a low mumble of, "who the hell choose to come in this hour" behind the door before a puzzled Park Jimin greeted him.

"Yoongi-hyung?"

Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe he should just find the nearest bench and crawled there until the sun rised, fidgeting under the cold mountain wind. Or maybe he should just go home and apologize. Or maybe he could go to his other friends. He did have other friends. Maybe Hunchul would want to accept him, though he knew it would be thousand times more awkward than this.

"I-,"

Jimim curled his eyebrow. Yoongi clenched his fist, still thinking that maybe turning around right now was the best decision after all. But then he sighed. He was here after all, wasn't he. He was here, asking for help to a person he once thought was weird, to someone he used to tease constantly. To someone like Park Jimin.

"-need a place to stay for the night," he said with a sigh. "I just had a fight with my parents. They would know where to look for me if I went to Namjoon's place or the others."

Jimin raised his eyebrow. He couldn't read the boy's expression. Maybe he would get kicked out after this. Who knew.

"So yeah, I need your help," he added. Yoongi didn't know why, but that sentence seemed like a confession of defeat or at least it sounded like that to his ear.

There was this moment of silence before Jimin finally said a, "Yeah, no problem. Halmoeni wouldn't mind."

Just as easy as that, he had found a place to stay the night in the least place he had expected himself to be. The only thing rolling in his head was how he owed Jimin some gratitude and how this actually hurt his pride a bit. A small price to pay, he thought, instead of a cold feet and oozing nose and even a greater loss. The thing Yoongi missed however, was a smile that rose on Jimin's face and a slight blush that the boy desperately tried to hide.

 

+.-.+

 

"So you lived with your grandmother?" Yoongi asked.

"Yeah. She was the only living relatives that I got. So after Seoul-," Jimin paused. Yoongi always knew. Or rather, he had grown to realize, that every time Jimin mentioned anything about Seoul, he would enter this quick moment of nostalgia, gazing into nothingness that was his old bitter memory of the place. "-my parents sent me here," he said.

The house was small and nice, with very little things decorating the place. Jimin's grandmother was nowhere to be found, but he said that the old Park was already asleep and he didn't want to disturb her.

There were still a few rooms left, with the exception of Jimin's and his grandmother's but sadly they were filled with boxes and stuff, Jimin said. The offer was using Jimin's bedroom and the said boy would hit the couch. Yoongi quickly retorted to the idea, saying that the couch was more than he could ever get and it was just perfect for him. They spent quiet a time discussing who got the couch and who got the room (Yoongi even gave out the idea of using the bahtroom instead if Jimin kept on insisting) until they reached the simple decision to just drag an extra bed from the other room to Jimin's.

In the end, it was passed midnight already when he laid his head against a pillow, gazing into a ceiling that was not his own. They spent quiet some time dragging the extra bed from the other room, only to realize that the doorway was too narrow. It took a few lift, push and pull (and a hell lot of sweat) before they managed to get the bed inside. A series of laughter and teasing was included (not so far from "you're sure that abs was not some drawing of a sort if you couldn't even lift something as light as this?" followed by a "yeah, said the one who earlier scream 'my back, my back' the moment we lifted the bed").

"And who came for my help?"

"For your information, you're my last option. I regretted coming to your door now, you know?" Yoongi said, clearly joking.

"You're cruel, hyung."

"And you're just plain stupid, Park Jimin."

Jimin was lying on the bed beside him with eyes wide open. Though the light was turned off, he could just easily suspect so. Funny. The first time Park Jimin came into his life, he wouldn’t ever think that they would end up like this. The first few times he held a proper conversation with the boy, he thought over and over about what to say, fearing that whatever it was would drive the boy to tears.

"Thank you, Jimin-ah," he said.

Today was hard. His father's word was still echoing on his ear. He called him a bastard for pursuing his dream. He called him a bastard for becoming something that he was. Something that he was and would always be.

"I don't know where else to go."

Only slightly did Yoongi revealed that kind-hearted person behind his pride, behind his mockery and harsh words that escaped his mouth, something that he loved to hide.

"It's okay, hyung. I never got anyone to come and spend the night with," Jimin said back.

“Not even during kindergarten? Don’t you ever have a sleepover? Geez, such childhood you have,” mocked Yoongi.

“I-, was busy most of the time,” Jimin said, suddenly sounded so sad. But he always did that. Sounding so sad, every time the topic of Seoul and his past came to the surface. “I went to a catholic private school in Seoul. I didn’t have much time for playdates.”

Yoongi scoffed. This was the part of Park Jimin that he loathed. “Then you have plenty of that for now.”

He didn’t have to see it, but he knew that Jimin was smiling.

 

+.-.+

 

Hoseok was doing a sommersault in the air and Taehyung got a body of a pig or so he was dreaming, before he heard a loud ringing on his ear. Yoongi woke up to a series of screaming and yelling. It took him a few moments to gather his thought and realized that he was sleeping inside someone else’s room and not his. He just had a huge fight with his father last night and he had gone to Jimin’s instead. That bit of information entered his brain almost too slowly.

This time it was another yell that completely woke Yoongi up from his trance. He jolted up from the bed and raced towards the door, thinking that it was his parents looking for him, that they finally managed to track him down to Jimin’s place. But another yell, high pitched and clearly filled with anger, proved him that it didn't belong to someone that he was familiar with.

“It’s not what you think it is!”

That was Jimin's scream. There were two voices in the background. A woman and a man. Faintly far beyond that, Yoongi could hear one soft voice, trying to mediate the two fighting fronts. It was Jimin’s grandmother, he guessed.

“And here we are, thinking that you’re being better. We don’t make you leave Seoul for this,” the woman yelled. It was probably Mrs. Park screaming.

“You kick me out of Seoul because you’re ashamed of me!” Jimin screamed back as loud.

Yoongi never heard Jimin yelled before, nor hearing the boy being this angry. Yoongi just stopped there behind the door with one hand on the knob, knowing that he should stay inside. Thing was, he thought how this arguments wasn't his to be heard.

“We send you here for your own good.” This time it was probably the father.

“And what? I can’t have a friend at all? When will you be satisfied, huh? Will you be happy then if I entered an all-girl school? Is that what you want?” Jimin said mockingly, still not lowering his tone down.

“Park Jimin, don’t you dare speak to your parents like-,”

“What kind of parents destroyed the life of their own son? Are you content with that?”

The next thing he heard was a slap. He couldn’t be wrong, because he sure knew how it sounded when his father slapped him as well. The next thing that followed was silence, no voice coming out whatsoever, until he heard Mr. Park raised his tone, slow and demeaning.

“It’s you who destroyed your own life, Park Jimin.”

Another pause followed before Yoongi heard a series of footsteps, running back towards the second floor. The door of the room burst open and Jimin came running back inside with tears running down his red cheek. Jimin looked broken. The boy took one look at him and for a moment Yoongi thought that he would break just like that, falling to pieces. Oddly enough, all Yoongi thought about doing was stepping forward and had his arm around him, trying to keep the pieces that made a Park Jimin from falling apart.

It was another yell, calling out for Jimin that woke the two of them up.

“Hyung, let’s go,” Jimin said, pulling Yoongi’s wrist towards the window.

“What?”

“They don’t know you’re here. Or maybe they do. I don’t know. Either way we have to go, now,” he said, moving towards the window and taking both his naked feet outside, standing on the ledge.

“Whoa, whoa. Like now?”

“Yes, hyung. I’m sorry but we got to go now,” Jimin said, hovering himself on top of the ledge and trying to make his way towards a particular tree that stood right next to the house.

Yoongi cursed under his breath but complied, hopping out towards the window and mimicking everything that Jimin did. The boy made it look so easy, hopping from the ledge towards the branch, tilting his body sideways and dangled his arms towards the trunk. It was right when Yoongi was reaching towards the branch did Jimin’s parents finally found their son’s room empty. At that point Jimin was telling him to hurry up, the boy already standing on the ground. This would surely be so comical if Jimin wasn't taking this situation seriously. Here he was, having a sleepover in a friend's house and treated like a one night stand instead, trying to run away from a possible angry housewife. Climbing down a tree was certainly not a specialty of Yoongi’s, but at least he managed to get through it without a bruise or broken bone. The moment he reached the ground, Jimin pulled on his wrist again and the both of them started running.

They didn’t stop for a constant ten minutes which was practically all in favor to Jimin’s doing. He was the one leading Yoongi to god knows where, not giving any intention to stop at all. At that point, Yoongi’s whole body was aching. It was early in the morning and he had forced his body to run an entire length without a proper warmup. Not to mention, the path of Seongcheon-gil wasn’t the smoothest one. Yoongi, having socks on, still found it painful to run. Jimin, on the other side, had gone deaf over his words and advice that they should be stopping.

It wasn’t until he yanked Jimin’s hand with a sharp thrust and gave him a yell, did the younger seemed to wake up from his trance.

“Jimin, stop!”

And Jimin did.

And only when he did, did Yoongi see Jimin’s face. He was crying all along, his shoulder shaking. Soft whimpers were coming out of his lips. He looked so broken. His hair was still a mess Yoongi reckoned he wasn’t prepared for the encounter as much as he did. The boy’s cheek was also red, a reminiscence of the slap he took from his own father. Jimin was standing in the middle of the road with nothing but an oversized tee and shorts. At least Yoongi was wearing a sock and only then, did he realize that Jimin’s feet were bleeding.

“Your feet are bleeding,” Yoongi said, bending down so he got to see them clearly.

Jimin just muttered a simple ‘oh’ and let Yoongi checked on them. The boy probably didn’t even realize it as he was running.

“We have to go somewhere. Probably to Seokjin’s house. He can-,”

“No,” Jimin said.

“We have to treat that, okay? And we’re in the middle of a freaking road with nowhere to go,” Yoongi said as he stood up, trying to be as rational as he could be. They might don't feel it now, but later, standing on the road with nothing but shorts and t-shirts in the middle of the mountain’s wind, they would almost regret not finding a shelter.

“Please, hyung,” he said again, almost pleading. “Just let me-,”

Jimin couldn’t seem to find the ending to that sentence. But somehow Yoongi knew what the boy needed.

“Okay,” he said softly. “But we still need to go somewhere.”

 

+.-.+

 

It was a Saturday which meant that the school was closed. Ever since they’d been preparing themselves for the championship, the gym was practically reserved for the seven of them only. They even got the chance to use it on Sundays. What Namjoon told him and not the others was how he hid the key behind a certain pot of plants right next to the gym.

He brought Jimin to the gym with the said boy riding behind his back. He certainly didn’t let the younger set his foot on the ground again after all the blood and cuts. The younger simple complied, not uttering another words and let Yoongi piggybacked him all the way towards the gym. He’d been excruciatingly quite, he didn’t even seem to shed any tears anymore.

They ended up inside the storeroom, cooped up next to piles of flattened out balls and dusty mattresses, trying to avoid anyone who might venture inside the gym and found them there. Jimin had his back against the wall. His expression was hard, eyes glaring and mouth sewn shut. Yoongi didn’t ask him any question, instead finding a bottle of water one of them had left behind on their practice before and tried to tend to Jimin’s wound by simply pouring it over his feet. He remembered about a box of first aid kit located somewhere in the gym halfway through, before he got it and managed to pull out a bottle of alcohol, some cotton and bandages.

“This will hurt,” he said, as he soaked the cotton in alcohol and tried to clean the cut.

Jimin let out a hiss and nearly jerked his feet away. However, he managed to stay still, even after Yoongi got to bandage both of his feet with very little knowledge of first aid that he had. Seokjin was certainly more suitable for this job, even (and most importantly) to consoling people. Yoongi’s wasn’t the best on mending hearts. He was good at making people feel like shit, not the other way around.

When he was finished, he just sat there in front of Jimin, waiting for the boy to say something. He even thought about walking away, and he finally chose to do so, standing up and heading towards the door, when Jimin stopped him.

“No, hyung. Please stay,” he said.

Yoongi looked back at Jimin. The boy was putting a smile on his face. It was that kind of a weak and pathetic smile, one that annoyed him as much as a cry. He walked back and sat right next to Jimin on the floor, leaning his back against the wall.

“I’m sorry,” the boy said softly. “I know you hate hearing me say that, but I truly am.”

He already got tons of comeback to say, words of consolation that he thought would cheer the boy up, jokes and indecent humor that certainly wouldn’t fit the situation as he had ran out of ideas, before he realized that silence was probably the best thing that he could give right now.

“I don’t know that they’re coming today, my parents.”

He could feel that Jimin was about to cry again. Feel. How could he feel something that wasn’t his to feel?

“Halmeoni woke me up today as they car arrived in front of the house. Halmeoni, she knew and she understood me. She's the only one that did. I ran downstairs. I said that I just had a friend sleeping over. They got mad then. I shouldn’t have said that. We got into an argument and-, here we are,” he said, laughing too ironically at the end of the sentence.

He didn’t have the heart or even the right to ask, but everything about Seoul, Jimin’s unspoken past and the bits of arguments that Yoongi heard today told him that everything was never fine with Jimin. He meant, what kind of parent forbid their son from having someone coming over? Maybe it was a Seoul thing to do, Yoongi didn't know. Something happened there, that much he knew and it destroyed Jimin, whatever that was. Funny, but after spending times knowing Jimin and seeing the boy cried, only now did he realize how broken he was.

“I’m a horrible person, hyung. Back in Seoul I-,”

Yoongi waited for the story, waited for the veil to unravel itself upon the mystery that happened back then in Seoul, but Jimin stopped, as if he realized that he shouldn’t talk about it himself. ‘Everything’s sad back at Seoul’, he still remembered the words vividly. The younger took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know I’m stupid. I’m so stupid. It’s all my fault, hyung. I always mess things up,” Jimin said, bringing his hands towards his face and broke into tears again. He got both of his palms covering his eyes and just as easy as that, his shoulder shook again.

“It’s all m-my faults. I’ve destroyed my own life. I-i know you h-hate hearing me c-cry but for this once p-please let me-,”

“Stop it, Park Jimin,” he said, turning towards Jimin and did the only thing that only a Min Yoongi would do. He grabbed both Jimin’s hands by the wrist and pried it off from his eyes, trying to stop the boy from crying. He tried to avoid Yoongi’s gaze instead, looking at the ground and kept on crying. Sure, Jimin would ask him to be there, probably hugging him as he cried his heart out, but Min Yoongi wasn’t that kind of person.

“You sure are stupid. You’re one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met in this world. You’re pathetic, you cry all the time like a baby and you always take something the wrong way,” the words just coming out of Yoongi’s mouth without him even thinking, but somehow it sounded as true as it was to his ear. “But you don’t mess things up. Sure you did something awful in Seoul but who cares. You’re not there anymore. You’re here now and as far as I see it, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to this goddamn place.”

As simple as that, Jimin just stopped. The shake and the sobbing simply stop. Yoongi didn’t even know whether he had said the right thing or not, but Jimin then slowly lifted his head. His eyes were still red, his chubby cheeks wet, but there was something more there. Jimin stopped crying and he just looked right into Yoongi. He just looked and they stayed like that, with Yoongi’s hands still encircling Jimin’s wrist.

Yoongi thought about Jimin, about how he first came into the town that he hated and he didn’t find the sentences he uttered before to be wrong. He thought about seeing Jimin for the first time, crying inside the classroom and thinking about how much of a creep that person would be. He thought about seeing Jimin cry in happiness at the initiation night and thinking about how weird it was. He thought about Jimin thinking that he hated the boy and then went to him probably caring instead. He thought about Jimin blending in with his friends and he did give them the opportunity to win the trophy this year, to be the best fucking team in the entire Gangwon province, thus exactly would be the best thing that would happen to this place and Yoongi’s life in it. He thought about last night, winding up in front of Jimin’s door because he simply didn’t have anywhere else to go.

And somehow he suddenly thought about the stars.

Albeit it was Park Jimin that sat beside him, he couldn’t help but to feel like he was seeing stars, or at least his heart pound the same way it did whenever he lifted his head up to see the scarlet sky above.

Right then, he realized that he was still holding Jimin’s hands on his own. He quickly let them go in a realization that led to awkwardness, before Yoongi then turned his head sideways again, diverting his gaze from Jimin and leaned back towards the wall behind him. That weird tension was finally lifted from his shoulder and Yoongi sighed, telling himself how all his words and thoughts earlier sounded so stupid.

He let out a sigh and they returned to sitting in silence again.

Uneasy silence always seemed to be the only thing that parted them both. Remembering about a scene not so different from this, Yoongi slowly chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Jimin asked, still sobbing quietly.

“Nothing,” Yoongi said. “Remember, brat,” he continued, still not looking back at the younger. “This doesn’t mean that I care about you.”

Upon hearing that, Jimin let out a chuckle as well.

“I know, hyung. But thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“For my feet too.”

Jmin pulled his feet towards him, trying to examine the work that Yoongi had done on them on such short notice and with very little knowledge as possible. At least, Jimin’s feet were now bandaged up tightly. Almost too tightly, even.

“On second thought, I think I’m going to take that one. This is horrible, hyung. I can’t even seem to wear shoes with this.”

“Hey, don’t complain. Who said earlier about not wanting to go to Seokjin’s,” Yoongi returned with a scoff.

Jimin giggled and he was just thankful that the boy was no longer crying.

“Tell you what, I’ll give you a piggyback ride just like before to make up for that busted feet,” he said almost too nonchalantly.

Jimin made a hyperbolic kind of gasp, clearly pretending.

“You’ll do what for me, hyung?”

“Shut up, brat. We can’t manage to lose you before the match. We need that feet and your ability to win the game.”

“So is that the only reason why you guys are so nice to me? Because I’m good at basketball?”

“Correction. Because you’re better than Namjoon and we clearly need to switch him anyway. If say, Namjoon was better than you, we wouldn’t be warming up to such a weird, new brat at school.”

“You’re so mean, hyung.”

Yoongi laughed. Jimin was better and he too, felt surprisingly better. He found it funny. How could someone else's happiness be his at the same time?

The thought of home suddenly hit him. At one point, they needed to go back home. Jimin to his, maybe his parents were still there, and Yoongi to his own. He didn’t know how much of his father could he still take. He shook his head slightly, trying to get rid of the horrible thoughts corrupting him from the happy moment he so rarely got. 

Next to him, Jimin slowly lowered his head towards his shoulder, leaning on it. Yoongi didn’t brush it, letting the boy’s hair prickled his neck and jaw. He let himself feel the radiating warmth next to him as he slowly closed his eyes.

“You’re a liar, hyung.”

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for Jimin to give him the explanation he was clearly waiting for.

“You do care.”

And for once, Yoongi didn’t correct him.

 

 

Chapter Text

In the end they parted ways. Jimin went back to his own house in the afternoon and Yoongi decided to go to Namjoon’s. He already offered another piggyback, being concerned about the boy's injured feet (in the coldest and meanest way possible) before Jimin made a weak smile and said how he had to take care of the problems waiting for him back home alone. He proposed the idea of accompanying the boy but Jimin just shook his head lightly, leaving no place for Yoongi to offer any other help, only to watch Jimin’s back as the boy walked slowly back towards his own house.

Meanwhile, Yoongi’s stuff was still at Jimin’s and he had practically brought nothing when they ran away. He still wasn’t thinking about going home. This wasn’t his first time running away. The last time, he disappeared for a few days, almost all of his friends went insane looking for him. This time he had to at least make an appearance.

Knocking in front of Namjoon’s door with nothing but a rumpled tee he’d been sleeping in (and at that point Yoongi managed to joke to Jimin as well before, how he actually didn’t have any underwear on the moment they left the house), the Kim greeted him with a surprise look on his face.

“Where have you been?” Namjoon asked after letting Yoongi hit the shower and threw him some new shirts to change into (but no underwear, since Kim Namjoon was the party that supported what he said as ‘legal rights to private ownership of undergarments’.)

Yoongi soaked his wet hair in towel after a bath while answering Namjoon’s questions. Namjoon’s mother was out and he had to bail before she came back and realized Yoongi was there, since his own mother must have been calling his friends already, asking about his whereabouts. He still didn’t plan on going home for a day or more if he could manage it. A whole week, even.

“Your mother called last night. Said that you ran away again. Honestly, hyung, I thought it was going to be like last time. We’re all worried, you know,” he said.

“Don’t worry, I went to Jimin’s,” he casually brought it up.

Other than clothes and a hot shower, the reason why he went to Namjoon was due to his grumbling stomach. His best friend was kind enough to cook him some instant ramyun. Sometimes, he thought about what would he be without the very Kim Namjoon that he loathed.

“Figured,” the other said, sighing in relief. “So why do you end up in front of my door looking so homeless?”

Yoongi sighed. He thought about keeping whatever he had seen and heard to himself at first. Namjoon was indeed a fan of gossips, but when it was his friend’s secret that he was dealing with, the boy had learnt how to keep his mouth shut.

“The brat’s parents suddenly came and-,”

He remembered the fight again, taking bits of information and formed it in his own head like a puzzle.

“-I don’t know. Some awful shit happened to the brat when he was in Seoul. They fought about it again so we ran away. Funny. His parents wouldn’t even let a friend stayed overnight.”

“So you ran away because his parents were mad at you for crashing there?”

Yoongi shrugged.

“Something like that. But they were already arguing about something that happened in Seoul. I didn’t hear much.”

Namjoon hummed, nodding his head.

“I mean, I’ve seen the boy cried like-, dozens of times back in the classroom, about something in Seoul, I guess. He said that everything in Seoul was sad. I never asked anyway,” Yoongi trailed on. He remembered about how Jimin had cried back in the gym again and all the words he had said to Yoongi.

“He said about destroying his life. I don’t know. It’s just that-,”

-that seeing the pathetic Jimin always stirred him. He always ended up wondering, what had happened back in Seoul, until it left such a boy to pieces like that.

“-what could have happened?”

Yoongi sighed again, tossing the wet towel away before grabbing the bowl of ramyun Namjoon had placed for him on top of his desk. His friend was awfully quiet, taking the story in and probably coming out with stupid comments and more philosophical shit. His comeback was certainly something that Yoongi didn’t see coming.

“You know, hyung. I never heard you care for someone as much as this.”

Yoongi nearly choked on his ramyun.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Namjoon,” he said, glaring at the boy.

“Hey, no need to give me that death glare. I’m just making a comment here,” he said, lifting his hand up as if Yoongi was pointing a gun at him. “Anyway, finish up that ramyun fast. My mother would come back soon.”

Yoongi groaned.

“For your information, I don’t care about the brat, okay? I’m just curious.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, hyung.”

Amd if it wasn’t for finishing up the ramyun and having himself being raced by the clock, he could make out a list of reasons why he didn’t care about Park Jimin and point it out one by one to Namjoon with its own conclusive evidence.

 

+.-.+

 

The sky was dark when Yoongi roamed the streets again, wrapped in Namjoon's clothes and shoes. He didn't bring his own phone, leaving it at Jimin's house. He thought about how ridiculous this situation was, running away from his house only to find himself escaping the house he ran away to through the window in the morning. He couldn't risk going to his friends' houses in fear of walking on their parents after that. He couldn't go back to Jimin's as well since the boy had his own matter to straighten out. Lastly, he clearly couldn't go back to his own house, for then he would run away for nothing.

He had found this situation almost too familiar. Last time he had spent almost two nights out, that time without his friends knowing where he was. He thought about going to the same place he had sought shelter the last time, before his feet somehow had dragged him elsewhere.

The sun was setting and he had found himself walking aimlessly towards the hill. At least no one was going to look for him there, especially his parents. His friends would know this time that he would be okay, considering he popped out in front of Namjoon’s door already. Yoongi just clearly needed some time to be alone. Tomorrow was Sunday after all and he got at least until Monday to keep this charade on.

He got on to their usual spot, sitting on the ground with the tree behind his back. For a minute he tried to forget about the petty problems of finding shelter for the night or something warm to eat. He tried to forget about his father back at home, still being as stubborn as he was. He tried to forget his dream of Seoul and this town that he hated. He simply tried to be the Min Yoongi that he was now, doing nothing but enjoying the breeze and sunset.

The Min Yoongi that was cooped up in his own perfect spot managed to close his eyes and got something else filling his head, gnawing at his vacant mind. Somehow it was the face of Park Jimin, rolling down this very hill, body soaked and wet, that managed to pop into his thought. He remembered vividly the tears of joy running through the boy’s face, the scene imprinted in his mind and how he somehow knew that he was the only one who realized it, as if it was only him who got the sole opportunity and claim to witness that obscure scene.

He let out a small laugh, brushing the silly thought aside.

A part of it was indeed true, though. He would always be the sole witness to the cry of Park Jimin’s, too many to even be called a coincidence. He didn’t know how much of a cruel fate the brat had it coming, because it would always be Yoongi that he ran into. If only it was Seokjin who was every bit of nice, or probably Taehyung who seemed to get along real well with the brat, then maybe Jimin would pass the problems he was dealing with already.

No, he had to come across Min Yoongi instead, who didn’t seem to bring more light to the issue than he had done already.

He was a nightmare, Yoongi had said it.

(And Jimin too should have seen it coming)

 

+.-.+

 

Motionless Min was a nickname his friends gave him jokingly somewhere along his first year of high school since he was known to be so lazy he could do nothing but roll around in his own bed for the entire day. Basketball court would probably be the only place where Yoongi gave him his all. As his name suggest, falling asleep at the most obscure place wouldn’t be a problem too great for the motionless master. Therefore, as what he had done on that rainy day, he had found himself sleeping soundly by the tree bark, the sky already dark, it even started to scare him with the absence of illumination.

Yoongi quickly got up, stretching his sore limbs and thought that maybe he got a serious case of narcolepsy before heading back down the hill. He didn’t even bring a watch, he couldn’t tell the hour, but by simply looking up, he knew that it was late already. Time for dinner or maybe passed that.

This would be just like last time, he thought. Last year he had run away somewhere no one would bet an eye on and it had been his safe haven ever since for such case of emergency. After he thought about it, he should have gone there instead last night than ending up in front of Jimin’s door. He did that entirely on impulse and see what it had brought for both him and the boy. Jimin wouldn’t even probably get himself in trouble for him staying over.

Sighing, he thought that maybe he had gotten too much of a Park Jimin in his life already.

He had both his hands in his pocket, walking down the path of the town he knew too well, thinking of finding another shelter for the night. Maybe he had to spend a day in the road, sleeping on benches or in stations, huddled in the corner with nothing but the clothes on his back. Maybe he could even run away for good, trying to earn money in any way possible and rode the train towards Seoul. Or hitching a ride to Jeongseon-eup until he could get to Chuncheon and end up in Seoul one way or another, anything could work.

Living on the streets, maybe Min Yoongi could even try that for tonight.

He was deep in silly thoughts when he caught a certain figure, running frantically through the night. It was him who caught the figure, or rather it was the other person who caught him first, for the shadow ran towards him and Yoongi could then make out who it was.

“Hyung, I’ve found you.”

Jimin was drenched in sweat, his bangs sticking to his forehead. The boy stopped right in front of Yoongi and bent down, catching his breath. He had changed his clothes from the last time Yoongi saw him and it looked like as if he’d been running for quiet some time.

“I don’t know we’re playing hide and seek,” he mocked.

Jimin made out a small laugh, still holding his stomach. He looked like someone who had run a marathon or two. It took quiet a moment until he breathed normally, back standing straight and finally looking at Yoongi in the eye.

"I've been looking for you, hyung."

The elder raised his eyebrow in confusion. Now that he mentioned it, Jimin should have been back at home where problems awaited him. His parents must be furious from the brawl that he got and the sudden escape. Maybe Yoongi was forever restricted to the house from now on, the Park prohibiting their very son to spend time with him, whatever the reason would be.

"Why would you?"

The younger let out a smile whilst trying to maintain his normal breath.

"You don't bring your cell. I don't know where you've gone. Namjoon called me and he said you've been there. I've been trying to look for you everywhere, hyung," he said.

(And the boy had to make the search look like a freaking marathon. Interesting)

"Yeah I get that, but why do you have to look for me?" he asked again. Jimin didn't seem to get the first question right or maybe he didn't give Yoongi the answer he was waiting for.

The boy in front of him coaxed his head sideways, brows furrowed.

"Why? To bring you home, of course."

Jimin's answer seemed to itch his ear and made no sense to him at all.

"I ran away for a reason, Jimin. And I'm not intending to go back to my house so soon."

"No, no, I mean my house."

"What?"

"Your stuff's there. You don't have any other place to stay the night, right?" he said.

Somehow hearing that made Yoongi laugh instead. Everything about Park Jimin always ended up like this for him, even when he didn't see it coming.

"You've been running around town to look for me just to invite me again to crash at your place? Or are you really that desperate to have someone sleeping over, Jimin-ah?" he said in the midst of laugh.

This time it was Jimin's part to blush, realizing what he had done. The boy gulped and shook his head, looking exactly like someone that realized the wrong he accidentally committed and how awkward it costed him. Yoongi's mind wandered to that day when Jimin nonchalantly asked whether he'd stayed behind to check on Jimin and remembered how embarassed he was that time. This time it was his part to give the blatant question.

"No, no. I mean Namjoon-hyung told me to take care of you as well," he said, making an excuse that Yoongi himself had believed to be true. He believed Namjoon had done so, worrying about his sake. At this point, the others would have probably known that he was crashing at Jimin's already.

Yoongi groaned. "They should have left me alone."

The younger boy shook his head. "No, hyung. They were simply worried about you."

He sighed. His friends were indeed nosy. If he chose to disappear like he did last year, his friends would probably be heads over heels once again, looking for him. He wouldn't be surprised to see his face printed on a milk carton if he did.

"What about you? Shouldn't you be at home?" he said. "I don't think your parents would be thrilled with the idea of another friend staying over for the second time this week."

It took only that sentence to make Jimin look sad again and sent his eyes darting back towards the ground. Yoongi cursed himself inside his head, realizing that at least he could do as much as verbalizing his thoughts so that it wouldn't sound as harsh as it did right now.

"I mean, I'm sorry. They wouldn't have been mad if I hadn't come come to your door last night," Yoongi added in, feeling the guilt that started to crawl on him.

Jimin shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, hyung. They weren't supposed to come, I don't know about it and I shouldn't have said anything either so it was-,"

And he already know what Jimin would have said. He had known about it too well. 'It was my fault', he was going to say, blaming himself yet again.

"-no one's fault," Yoongi quickly added before Jimin got the chance to finish the sentence.

It was always funny to see that even when it took only a sentence to get the boy down, it took simply another to send a smile back to the boy's cheek.

"How is it with your parents, though?" he asked.

"It's okay I've straightened things up. They were a bit-, troublesome sometimes. But it's okay now."

He couldn't tell whether that was a made-up lie or not. He didn't even know what Jimin's parent's problems were. But still, he didn't see how he can easily crash at the boy's place freely from now on.

"I'm not convinced, Jimin," he said, tone rather low and demeaning, trying to pry whatever that the boy could hide from him.

Jimin sighed.

"They left, hyung. When I got back, they weren't even there anymore," he said.

That sounded more trustworthy to his ear somehow.

"So, I guess I didn't really manage to straighten things out. Halmeoni said they just left. Maybe I'm being disowned again, I don't know. Well, they couldn't really disown me more than they already did," Jimin said with a wry laugh.

"Jimin, you better think about your parents more than looking out for me. I can take care of myself," he said, not wanting to cause trouble.

The younger boy shook his head

"Then, what if I wanted you to come, hyung? What if I wanted you to stay the night just because I want to?"

Yoongi gave Jimin three solid seconds. Three. He waited three seconds for the boy in front of him to laugh. Three solid seconds and he didn't see any sign of Jimin faltering, telling Yoongi how serious he really was. That was when Yoongi finally be the one who laughed. He laughed so hard, holding his own stomach until tears started to pool around his eyes. Jimin just stood there, not seemingly to get the humor.

"Oh my god, Park Jimin. Are you confessing your love to me-,"

At that point Jimin's eye widened in surprise, face looking like someone had dropped a bucket of cold water on top of him.

"-because you just sounded like a fucking girl to my ear."

Jimin's face went red in an instant, diverting his gaze from Yoongi, all the while trying to hide how embarrassed he must be feeling. He bit on his lower lip, his hand crumpling the edge of his T-Shirt.

"Okay stop doing that because you look so much like a girl to my eyes right now, it started to look disgusting instead of funny."

"It's not like I'm going to call you Yoongi-oppa," Jimin said, joining the joke.

"I won't accept your love confession even if you were a girl, Park Jimin," he snorted.

There was this strange look in Jimin's eye as he finished the sentence, but Yoongi quickly cast it aside and laughed instead.

(And of course, if only Min Yoongi wasn’t such an idiot, he would have known all along)

 

+.-.+

 

At the end, he did stay in Jimin’s room for the second night. That day, he ended up having dinner with Jimin’s grandmother. The old Park was missing her front teeth and she liked to smile widely, revealing what she had lost almost too eagerly. There were moments when the boy was purely ecstatic, being the little bundle of joy that he was, and this was one of it.

“Why don’t you stay forever, Yoongi-ah. Jiminnie’s never this happy since he’s been here,” the old Park had said during their dinner.

Jimin’s face turned a slight red and he tried to change the topic, saying that his grandmother was purely exaggerating. Yoongi laughed at that and Jimin’s grandmother continued the conversation, telling embarrassing stories about Jimin’s childhood that got Yoongi laughing even harder and Jimin even redder, trying to stop his grandmother from spilling anymore of his secrets.

As easy as that, they all kind of forgot about their own problems. Yoongi forgot about how he was there because he ran away from home. Jimin forgot how his parents just came and practically destroyed his first sleepover (as Yoongi had said it). So that night, when their stomach was full and they ended up talking about the series of ugly expression and imitating the screeching noise that Hoseok always made whenever he was afraid, Yoongi asked something about going down from the window towards the tree like they did this morning and raced towards the school field to do some star-gazing.

"How could a boy from Seoul like you understand how to climb down a tree?" he had asked.

Jimin made that small gesture and expression whenever he tried to hide something obvious about his past but continued to answer nonetheless.

"I used to run away from my room at nights," he said, looking sad. Yoongi tried to change the subject, feeling himself stirred whenever he saw Jimin like that before the boy managed to add a soft, "It wasn't that, that got me kicked out, though."

"I dare you to climb down the tree again now, then," he said.

"Why should I?"

"Because running away from your house in Seoul cannot be compared to this. Where would you even go when you ran away in Seoul?"

"Clubs in Hongdae?"

Yoongi kind of regretted for asking that because he had found himself to be jealous of the simple answer now. There was no club to visit in this god forsaken town and it only made him want to visit Seoul even more.

"Anyway, I bet Seoul didn't have a place as beautiful as our school field."

"What could be so great from a mere school field?"

Yoongi smirked. "You got to climb down that tree to figure it out", he teased.

Pretty much, that was how he got both of them, standing outside of Jimin's house much like how they did in the morning but with smile and laughter smacked across their face. They ended up running back towards the school before Yoongi remembered about Jimin's sore feet midway.

"No, it's okay, hyung. I've been running around looking for you anyway."

"Which is the very reason why you shouldn't run more than that now. We need you in the game, I've told you," Yoongi said, offering the younger boy a piggyback ride.

He had indeed promised before. Min Yoongi wasn't as cheerful as this most of the time. He was rude and mean. But somehow that night he had found it in himself to be a little bit nicer. How they managed to forget about their own respective problems got him wanting to do more and more. Doing things helped, he thought, because now he barely had the time to think about his mother looking for him or the anger remarks that would greet him when he got home.

So in the end, they reached the school field with Jimin on his back. The school was creepy at night but Yoongi had grown familiar with it already. Nothing seemed to frighten him now, not even the woods of their small town or the rumors of the haunted rail track.

“You’re sweating, hyung,” Jimin said, giggling. The boy was propping his head on top of his shoulder, right at the crook of his neck.

“Because you’re heavy, dumbass,” he said back. This time he purposely let go of his hand, letting Jimin fell to the ground with a loud thud. The boy protested but Yoongi just grinned and kind of laughed.

Jimin was crouching on the ground, rubbing his sore butt before the elder boy joined him on the ground, lying on his back, eyes darted towards the sky. He liked to do this, simply having the soft grass on his back, keeping him warm with the wind carressing his cheeks. He let out his arms and legs, spreading them apart as if he was making a snow angel on the grass field.

“Tell me again why this place is so amazing?” Jimin asked, sitting beside him with legs crossed.

Yoongi just smiled. He found out about this place last year, right when he ran away from home. It was during the nights when he had gotten missing. He didn’t know that everybody was looking for him. It was clearly passed midnight, he recalled, when he passed the school ground and decided to lie on the school field just like that. That was when he realized how perfect this place was. Amongst his friends, the hills had been unanimously voted as their favorite spot. Yet as beautiful as the hill could be, there was something that only the field could do to satisfy his need for such a clear sky.

He held out his finger and pointed towards the sky.

Jimin let out a small laugh.

“I should have known,” he whispered with a slight smile forming on his lips.

The boy lied down next to him before mimicking his gesture, looking towards the same night sky.

“Known what?”

“You’re always looking at the sky.”

Yoongi thought about it again. Was he really that obvious?

“I do?”

“Every time we came back from the school, you’ll always have your chin up, looking at the sky. Even when we’re waiting for Minju and the others in the city, you’ll want to sit beside the window so you got to see the sunset.”

He scoffed. Jimin was, as he had said it the first time, more observant than he thought. The fact that the boy even realized that counted as-, something. It shouldn’t mean anything but it did make him smile. It was something he couldn’t quiet put a label upon. They stayed like that for a few moment, breathing in and out, letting his eyes darted from one star to the next, counting them by heart.

He always loved them so much, he didn’t need an explanation why. He just raised his head one day and he understood what love was. Maybe in another life he was the reincarnated soul of Galileo that was then reborn as Edwin Hubble before finding himself trapped in the body of a Min Yoongi, a boy living in a small abandoned town somewhere in Gangwon.

He slowly raised his hand upward, trying to reach the star if such action would even be possible. It was childish but he liked to pretend that he could do otherwise.

“The sky would be so lucky, hyung,” Jimin said again softly.

He cocked his eyebrow, looking at Jimin from the corner of his eye. The boy was having his head lifted up like he did as well, a smile forming on his face.

“Why?”

“Because it got to be looked at like that every day by you.”

As weird as the sentence sounded to his ear, Yoongi couldn’t brush off that warm feeling spreading inside of him. He didn’t know where did it come from, but he knew that it wouldn’t even be there if he weren’t lying on the school field in the middle of a summer night with a Park Jimin beside him.

 

 

Chapter Text

The next day was Sunday and the next match came on Tuesday. Yoongi got Sunday to laze around all he cared inside of Jimin’s room and not wanting to go back home. He did so, waking up extremely late after they sudden escapade to the school field at night. It was around two in the afternoon when they did wake up (and truth be told Yoongi could even wake up later). When he checked on his phone, all he got was a few miscalls from home. His parents would probably give up on looking for him. This wasn’t his first time running away either and judging from the first they must have been thinking that their youngest son would be just fine. His friends weren’t looking either, realizing that he was safe and sound at Jimin’s. Namjoon had probably talked to the other but he didn’t really care right now. For now he would take all of those as a blessing.

He stayed even after lunch and they just lounged inside of Jimin’s room, doing practically nothing. Jimin had opened the window, letting the breeze caressed their cheeks as Yoongi sat with his back against the wall, staring at the sky. He could see the hint of the lovely summer sky making its appearance. Summer was upon them in weeks.

"Wouldn't it be great if we could the bike now, hyung?" Jimin suddenly said.

With the early summer air and the sky above his head looking this beautiful, perhaps it would be.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Jimim was lying on his bed, hands and legs spread. The boy looked at him with heads turned upside down.

"Too bad the bike's at your place."

Yoongi hummed in approval. Jimin didn't have a bike and he'd been the one giving the younger boy a ride for the past month. At one point he definitely had to ask Jimin to be the one giving him a ride instead. It would be nice indeed, standing at the back of the bicycle, hands spread wide with head looking up. Would it be like flying? Or it would probably end up as stupid as that popular scene in Titanic.

"You can't just steal it, can you hyung?"

Of course he couldn't. The younger was probably ranting and not thinking straight, suggesting something so stupid as stealing his own bike. But then again Jimin and him were both wondering. If only it was as easy as stealing the bike that he had parked at the back of his house. Nobody used the back door but him. But that didn't mean the house would be empty. Well, even if it wasn't, nobody was going to see him tip-toing towards the back door after all. This was Sunday and that meant his mother would probably at Mrs. Oh’s house, playing bingo. His mother wasn’t the most of his concern. It was his father that he was desperately trying to avoid. The old man was probably still in his workshop down the town, working with his brother even during Sunday. They took their day off on Monday and it would be around this time on Monday did they lounge in the house instead. Wait. That means-,

“Wait, we actually can,” Yoongi said, suddenly sitting upright, looking at Jimin, eyes filled with epiphany of some sort.

“We can what, hyung?”

“Steal the bike. No one’ll be at home. We can simply sneak through the back door, grab the bike and-,”

Jimin didn’t let him finish his sentence for the boy had raced towards the window, leaping over the windowsill and made his way down with a laugh in the air.

Yoongi smiled, looking at the obscure scene. Funny. Coming out from the window had seemingly be their thing from now on. Befriending Park Jimin had somehow made him forget what a ‘door’ really was.

 

+.-.+

 

Yoongi told Jimin to do some recon at first, walking leisurely passed his house and the back of it, making sure that there was no soul nearby that would see them. He certainly didn’t want to be caught by his own family. Pesky neighbor was on the list as well, because he knew it would be so awkward if the said neighbors ended up saying something along the line of ‘I see your son taking the bike just a moment ago’ when he was supposed to be missing. This time though he thought that his parents didn’t go as crazy as last year. Running away from home had seemingly be something tolerable now, or so he suspected.

In the end he told Jimin to bring the bike. Things went smoothly and here they were, pedaling down the road of their town. This time, Yoongi stood at the back, telling Jimin to be the one pedaling the bike instead since he had done so countless of time already for the younger and he wanted some repayment for the good deeds he had done.

They had avoided houses and busy road of their town, cycling down the outer road west of Yeoryang-myeon towards the Witgapyeon-gil that led to this rice fields and meadow, further from the hills and mountains. The sun was setting right at the end of the road, disappearing under the horizon. Altogether it looked as if they were chasing for the sun.

Yoongi told Jimin to ride faster and the boy complied (after much protests, of course) and he tried to lift his hand up, just like they did in that cheesy movie. As cheesy as the movie was, he had to admit that it felt sublime. The early summer wind held him in a tight embrace. He lifted his head up and there he could see the love of his life smiling back at him, looking as beautiful as ever. He raised his hands up, trying to grasp the twinkling stars that were making their appearance in the early evening sky. If only he could pluck them down, keeping them in his grasp, lighting up his somber life.

“Hey hyung, I was wondering,” Jimin said.

Yoongi just hummed in to his words.

“That last time when you ran away, where did you go to?”

He chuckled. It was a secret. He didn’t really go anywhere, contrary to people’s belief. His safe haven was actually this one place that no one really thought about and he planned on making it forever a mystery. And his friends had thought that he had followed the train track all the way towards Imgye-myeon. If only he could.

“You have to guess,” he said, grinning.

He never talked to anyone about it and actually there wasn’t much to talk about. He just enjoyed having his friends asking him about such insignificant thing and being even more curious because of it.

“What will you give me if I managed to get it right?” Jimin asked, still pedaling.

“This is not a game, Park Jimin.”

“You’re making it seems like one, hyung,” the boy said back.

“Shut up and go faster, will you?” he returned the word, smacking both of Jimin’s shoulder hard, holding a makeshift and imaginary reign and acted as if Jimin was the horse itself.

"But hyung, you're heavy," Jimin complained.

"It's your own fault for having such a short leg."

"Said someone as tall as me."

"I'm 1 cm taller than you, okay?"

"Hyung, it's only 1 cm! It's hardly any difference."

"Taller is taller, Jimin, and I'm still taller than you."

"I'll outgrow you, hyung, just watch," Jimin said.

“Shut up. Just go faster. Faster, faster faster!”

And with that the boy pedaled the bicycle harder and faster. Yoongi liked fast. The wind blew across his face and he let out his arms again, closing his eyes and imagined if he was flying. It really felt quiet like it, or so he thought since he never really did it. The road was not as smooth as it was in the town, a few bumps and rocks here and there, and it pretty much made the ride even more exciting. Turbulence, if it was a makeshift kind of thing.

Jimin swerved left and right with such speed the bike sometimes flew off the ground and Yoongi had to manage his balance, trying not to fall. After a particular bump he ended up laughing before Jimin followed along. The bike, the sky, the wind. This was indeed flying.

And in the end Yoongi did fly.

He flew for a few good seconds, floating amidst the dusk be loved the most before he remembered that gravity was a thing not to be meddled with.

He flew like Icarus and fell as hard to the ground, shattering his wings.

 

+.-.+

 

"A broken leg?!" Namjoon screamed to his face.

Yoongi just rolled his eyes.

"Please tell me that this is a joke. Please tell me that that cast is fake and you don't really break your leg. Wait, is today the 1st April? No? Come on Yoongi you better tell me that this is a joke."

That was what Namjoon had said to him as he entered the classroom with crutches and a cast on his left leg. As much as he wanted it to be a fake, the cast on his leg was very much real and his bone was very much broken. He cracked his femur and twisted his ankle. No surgery was needed, but the doctors had to put a cast on his leg.

"Wait, tell me again what happen," this time it was Seokjin who spoke to him.

Yoongi sighed. The situation itself was pretty much stupid.

He was riding the bike with Jimin that evening. For the first time Jimin was the one who pedaled the bike and Yoongi was standing behind. The situation would be so much different if it was Jimin who rode behind him. It would probably be the boy who was sitting on the chair with legs broken and being held at an interrogation with his friends.

"I was riding my bike with Jimin, okay. We were pedaling down the road outside of town near the rice field. You know my bike, don't you? The one with the metal rod at the back and no seat? Well, the rod snapped and I was the one standing behind, so I fell and boom, instant broken leg," Yoongi said nonchalantly.

He had to explain and repeat those words to his parents and the doctors. Missing from home for two nights and came back with a broken leg. That sure was some sort of an achievement. His mother was panicking. His father was secretly looking at him with face smug, probably seeing this broken leg as punishment enough. To be honest, he didn’t think about going home if it wasn’t the broken leg happening.

The moment he fell, he skidded on the road, his left leg twisting at a weird angle. Jimin was going fast like he had instructed the boy too so it wasn't really his fault. It was the rocky road’s fault if he could even blame it. But then again when he really did fall, Jimin look at him with face seemingly ready to cry. The fall was painful. He scratched his elbows and hands. The moment he tried to get up was a different matter, since he almost cried from pain as he did so. The journey back to his home had been agony, one from his leg and the other from Jimin's constant apologies.

Yoongi thought how funny it was. It took him a broken leg to come back home. His story of escapade this time had turned to a sour end.

"And where's Jimin now?" Hoseok asked.

That was a mystery even to Yoongi. He did manage to reach home, hobbling and wobbling with a broken leg with Jimin's help. The boy kept on apologizing he had probably snapped once or twice because he couldn't really remember. He left Yoongi at the front of door, the elder telling him to go afterwards, not wanting his parents to see Jimin and asked questions. That was the last time he saw the boy before his parents had taken him to the hospital.

He thought that he was going to see Jimin on Monday at school which would be today, but the seat behind him was empty. Something stirred inside of his stomach. Don't tell him the boy had felt so sorry and found no courage to meet him afterwards? That would be stupid (but a very Park Jimin thing to do as well).

"I don't know. Haven't seen him since yesterday," he said.

"Well, anyway this is a big problem, guys, since the match is fucking tomorrow and Yoongi couldn't even play," said Namjoon, messing his hair in frustration.

If it weren't for that fact, the others would probably laugh to his current condition right now. To the mention of the match, everybody's expression had turned sour. This was indeed bad. Yoongi remembered gritting his teeth the time he heard the doctor's ultimatum and bad news of a broken leg. A broken leg, sadly, couldn't be fixed in a day. It couldn't even be fixed for a month or so which meant-,

"Yoongi wouldn't even be able to compete for the rest of the season," Seokjin said softly, as if reading his mind.

Yoongi groaned. He didn't want this to happen, of course. Breaking a leg was stupid yet he couldn't blame anyone right now. This was - just as Yoongi had said repeatedly to Jimin - a stupid accident.

"Well, that could only mean one thing," Yoongi said, sighing.

Hoseok, Seokjin and Taehyung had seemingly read his mind because they all turned their heads towards Namjoon. Hoseok then raised his hand and placed it on Namjoon's shoulder.

"We're counting on you, Namjoon."

 

+.-.+

 

Yoongi ended with crutches and a cast on his legs. That day he had to repeat the stupid story of falling off the bike to every eye that ended on him, perfecting a forced smile whenever someone said the very usual ‘I’m so sorry for you’. The girls and Minju were very persistent on knowing the details and bawled over him as if he hadn’t just simply broken his legs but developed cancer as well.

Yujin had oh-so-kindly offered to help him walk down the corridor and the series of staircases when the lesson ended. He was actually in the brink of refusing any help when the girl caught him spilling his books all over the staircase as he stubbornly tried to get down off of it all by himself. He had to remind himself to at least be a little nicer to the girl.

“I got it,” he said, taking his own bag that Yujin had been carrying for him as they reached the school gate, not wanting to burden the girl anymore.

“Anytime, Yoongi-ah. Just tell me when you need help,” she said, letting out such a warm smile.

He returned the gesture with another smile (and at least this one was genuine enough) as the girl answered whether he needed help getting back to his house. The others were practicing for the last time and his busted leg just prohibited himself from entering the practice. Heck, it could even cost them the medal as well and this year was their last chance at it. The more he thought about that the more he was pissed off. The others understood as well apparently, for Namjoon advised him to go home and get some rest – which he would gladly do now. He didn’t need to see his friends practicing and being tortured by the realization of what his stupidity had cost.

“I can get back on my own,” he said.

Wobbling and hopping on one leg and practically dragging the other. His brother had taken him to school this morning, actually offering to pick him up again when he refused. He didn’t really like being dependent and even with a broken leg Min Yoongi was just as stubborn as that.

“You’re sure?”

“Do I look like I’m not sure?” he said before realizing how mean it would only sound without a laugh (and he did it right at the end of the sentence to avoid any sort of misunderstanding). “I can get back on my own, Yujin-ah. Don’t worry about me.”

The girl let out a shy smile and he didn’t know what it was about girls that made them so persistent.

“Okay then,” she said. She turned around, taking a few steps out towards the school gate before she stopped and looked back at Yoongi again. “You’re sure?”

He had to continuously remind himself that it wasn’t a Park Jimin that he could easily shout a ‘oh my god just go already’.

“Geez, really!” he said, adding a laugh just to make things didn’t seem too serious and flick his hands away, telling the girl to go.

It wasn’t that he hated Yujin. It was simply because he didn’t want to rely on others. The girl finally disappeared from his sight and Yoongi sighed. Here went the horrendous journey home. He dragged his useless feet and started to walk back towards his home. It was a mere half an hour walk but with his current condition he didn’t really want to know how long it would take.

His mind ventured towards Jimin, wondering why the boy didn’t even come to school today. It was a bit early for him to come home, so up above his head, the blue sky greeted him with such a nice smile. He raised his head up like always, taking his time. Maybe this wasn’t so bad either. He could savor the view as long as he wanted to in between his limping steps.

And that was when he heard the rattling of bicycle and a very familiar voice calling him.

Scowling, Yoongi turned his attention from the sky towards the voice, coming from behind him. Sure enough came the boy whose existence was missing for the entire day.

“Aren’t you supposed to be practicing?” he said, scowling.

Jimin came on a bike, pedaling it slowly as he got closer towards Yoongi. Only then did he realize that it was his bike that Jimin was riding.

“Wait, did you just steal my bike?”

The boy looked flushed, ruffling his own hair and gulped.

“Kind of,” he whispered.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, knowing that the boy was going to say another ‘sorry’ if he didn’t stop it already.

“I’m not mad so stop looking so sorry already, geez,” he said, turning back towards his original track and keep on walking.

“Hyung wait, I kind of-,”

“What?”

And Jimin pedaled the bike and halted right in front of Yoongi, stopping his further steps.

“I feel bad so I’m offering to take you home,” the boy said.

Yoongi raised his brows, trying to figure out what the boy really meant. On the same bike did he fall yesterday. The rod under his left leg just snapped and he went tumbling down. Jimin did fall with the bike as well though the other was not fatally wounded anywhere near to his broken leg. The boy survived with a bit of a scratch here and there. The bike itself wasn’t really broken. Now the idea of offering to take Yoongi back home with his own broken bike with a broken leg seemed rather comical since it was entirely impossible. How could he even get on the bike with a broken leg? That was until he saw what Jimin had installed at his bike.

“Wait, did you just repair the backseat?” he said, pointing at the cushion at the rear and another newly repaired rod at the base of the wheel.

The boy blushed a bit before nodding slowly.

“Did you skip school just to steal my bike and install the backseat on it?”

Jimin bit his lips before nodding again. That boy was certainly impossible.

“I just steal it like you did yesterday, hyung. I tried to do it by myself until I finally went to your father’s workshop to get some help,” Jimin muttered softly. “They don’t know that I steal your bike, don’t worry. It’s just that I’m so-,”

Yoongi quickly raised his hand, already knowing what the boy was going to say.

“No, stop that. Stop saying you’re sorry or I’m going to break your leg so we’ll get matching cast now,” he threatened. He certainly had enough of the never ending chain of apologies he got yesterday.

Jimin gulped.

“Well at least if you won’t let me apologize-,” the boy stuttered. “-you could let me take you home, hyung.”

He was going to say no again simply because he hated being helped. He just liked being on his own. Yet he remembered how broken the boy looked days ago, crying his eyes out. He remembered the pitiful look Park Jimin always put on his face. He didn’t know why thinking about all of that got him changing his mind, but taking another look at his newly repaired bike finally convinced him. He really did fix it for him.

“Fine,” Yoongi said. As easy as that Jimin’s face lighted up again.

“I’ll personally pick and take you home until your legs heal, hyung. Everyday. I promised,” he said, face beaming.

Yoongi snorted.

“You’re going to regret ever saying that, Park Jimin.”

 

Long story short, I got myself a new slave

 

 

Chapter Text

Yoongi ended up biting his own pen in the notorious history class on Tuesday. His friends were going out for the competition, fighting some group known as BAB or BAT or something. If they won this one, they would be going to the semifinal next and he realized how tough of a competition it would be without him. And Yoongi? He was stuck at school, of course, with legs broken and a cast that itched like hell. His friends were gone, pretty much explaining the empty seat behind his back. He went from biting his pen to tapping his feet furiously on the ground. His eyes went from the teacher who'd been darting her eagle-like eyes back at him, to the clock on the wall. They must be in the middle of a match and Yoongi even thought about praying if such thing could suddenly give his stupid of a best friend Kim Namjoon the ability to be a decent basketball player for once. He cursed under his breath, promising himself to kick on the boy's shin and assassinated him if Namjoon ended up dragging their team down. Turned out he was indeed that desperate to win the competition. Basketball was his only lasting pride of this god forsaken small town and life. He should be doing his history test now, explaining how the Korean War separated the two countries and its ripple effect to America's fear of communism. Like hell he could even focus on the bogus that sounded nothing like Korean whatsoever to his head right now.

Jimin had gone back to practice after taking Yoongi home yesterday. As promised the boy did appear in front of his door at the crack of dawn before he even woke up (and called out his name loudly from outside, horribly recreating the scene of ‘Juliet, Juliet where art thou my Juliet’). His mother cocked an eyebrow, probably wondering how Yoongi managed to find himself a personal assistant or how the Min's personal bike was in the hand of a stranger.

They parted in the morning just before the first lesson started as his other friends had to board the train to another nearby city for the game. Yoongi put on the most sour face that he had, practically pissed at himself for not being able to compete and for making a threat to how they really should win this and reaching 1st place again like how they had aimed for before this stupid incident happened. He remembered vividly Jimin little smile and the same regretful look that he had before the boy waved his hand a little, disappearing past the school gate with his other friends.

Yoongi cursed under his breath, messing his own hair. Who could he blame now? Fate, if such thing existed? God, maybe, if he wasn't satisfied with it.

The teacher had probably realized how suspicious his action was for she got up, moving closer towards Yoongi's desk. At that moment the boy didn't even register the footsteps nearing him, entirely occupied with his own imagination and self-loathing. He did, finally, when a certain long, bony and disgusting finger decided to tap its way on the surface of his desk, right when Yoongi was having a mental image of a certain Kim Namjoon probably being an idiot that he was and missed his one and only free shot.

"Mr Min, eyes on the test, please," she said, voice stern and demanding.

He should have known better than to make a scene with the very teacher who had thought lowly about him after incidents upon incidents of falling asleep. Yet it was his worry and imagination running wild - giving him such prediction of a future in which his team ended in a miserable defeat because of his absence - that got him turning his head towards the teacher, face annoyed and entirely unamused with a rather flat tone of a, "Shut up, you old hag," escaping his lips.

And guessed who just got into detention once again?

 

+.-.+

 

He got a broken leg so it was the only excuse for the said teacher to tell him to sit in the classroom instead after hours had passed with nothing to do. He thought about falling asleep, actually, but his worry had prohibited him from such action. His feet kept on fidgeting, thinking about how the game had ended now and how the boys should be on their way back already. It was six in the afternoon and Yoongi found himself still sitting on his chair, feeling anxious.

Groaning, he ended up picking his notebook and decided to scribble something on it as he always did whenever he was in need of some distraction. He easily found it after writing a few paragraphs about the meaning of stupidity and comparing broken dreams with his legs when he ended writing about how he ran away from home and found himself in front of Jimin’s door instead.

 

The brat fought with his parents and he cried (again) in front of me.

 

He thought then again about how crazy it was, climbing down the tree and running away. He thought about the boy running around the town to look for him with bleeding feet. He thought about stargazing on the school field at night (courtesy of his idea of course). He thought about riding the bike and felt like flying when he did.

He wouldn’t admit it but in that short amount of time, he was happy. Happy enough to forget the fact that he was running away. Happy enough to feel that his small hometown was – for the first time since forever – enough for him.

He glanced at the clock and groaned. The other should be finished right now, riding the train back to Yeoryang-myeon already, if they didn’t just decide to celebrate without him if only they managed to attain the victory Yoongi had been desperately praying for. He had even suspected that they were scared enough to go back and inform the grumpy Yoongi that they had lost. So which one was it, then?

Either way staying there only made his mood worse. Fumbling with his things, Yoongi finally got up and hopped out of the classroom, dragging his useless feet behind. It was dusk already as usual and he had thought about the worst that would happen; them losing and saying goodbye to the trophy. Everything because of a stupid broken leg. Everything because the rod just had to snap that one time. That one single time. Why couldn’t it snap when Jimin was riding behind when they were going back from school like always? Things wouldn’t be this complicated if it did.

He was passing the Auraji Bridge when his other legs started to hurt from limping and he couldn’t help but to feel more annoyed. He stopped for a while, leaning on the rail of the bridge, massaging his own feet. This time he didn’t lift his head. He just let his eyes wandered to the farthest end of the horizon that it could take, pass beyond the snaking river, rice fields and the hills that followed after. He would be resting his stupid leg behind right now, dozens of miles away from his friend whilst they all made a fool out of themselves on the court. It sucked, not being able to fight for his own dream and the itchy cast had oh so kindly be his constant reminder for that.

But then again, if he could go back in time and chose not to ride that very bicycle yesterday, not to stand behind a certain boy, or not to stretch his arm and float between the two worlds, Yoongi thought that maybe he-

“Yoongi-hyung?!”

Yoongi turned around, hearing a certain voice calling him out. It was Jimin, of course, running from the other end of the bridge towards him. He stopped right in front of Yoongi, chest heaving and shirt drenched in sweat. He bent and got his hands on his knees, supporting himself as Jimin took a lungful of breath, trying to regain himself from all the running. He looked like he just did a marathon. The other must have returned, then.

“I wuh-went to the suh-school. You weren’t tuh-there,” he said, muttering in between each breath.

“How’s the game?!” Yoongi said, almost yelling. That was the one thing he was dying to know.

He was still bent down, trying to catch his breath. Truth be told Yoongi didn’t like waiting and this felt like a goddamn suspense movie. For a moment he felt like smacking the boy and told him to stop breathing and just told him the result firsthand. Breathing could always come later Yoongi wouldn’t care.

“We duh-did it, hyung.”

Yoongi blinked. Jimin was still hunched down, face hidden from Yoongi’s eyes.

“You what?!”

Jimin raised his body up and sighed, looking at Yoongi straight in the eye. He didn’t speak another word, not even making any gesture. He just took a very deep breath before a grin slowly formed on his face.

Yoongi didn’t know what had gotten into him. Maybe it was him being melancholic, thinking about stargazing and the night sky. Maybe it was thinking about how beautiful the dusk looked like yesterday as he felt himself floating with it. Maybe it was realizing how Jimin ran all the way from the train station to the school before realizing he was gone and went straight ahead to his house just to tell him that. Most of all maybe it was simply being happy for his friends, paying off all of his worry that he harbored all day and making a detention such a small price to pay. Whatever that was, it got him stepping forward, ignoring his painful steps and buried the boy in a hug.

“We’re going to the semifinal, hyung,” Jimin said. The boy’s hands were limped against his side before he slowly wrapped it gently around the elder, probably feeling hesitant to hug him.

“Park Jimin you idiot you better win this competition after you break my leg,” he said.

The boy went stiff under his hug and Yoongi just realized what he said and did (most of all what he just did), stepping back with face embarrassed. That was so unlike him. The sentence he uttered was, on the other hand, but it probably got the boy shivering in fear again.

“I’m kidding, okay? You didn’t break my leg, it’s just a stupid accident,” he quickly said again. Saying that was actually so much better it deserved as a diversion from his stupid action. “Don’t you dare say sorry again,” he added, raising his index finger and pointed it right towards the younger.

“I won’t, hyung,” Jimin said, smiling softly. “But I’ll promise to win the competition in return.”

And this time both of them smiled together.

That night Min Yoongi wrote a big ‘we’re going to the semifinal’ in bold capital letter in his notebook, scribbling little doodles of stick figures playing basketball and a poor sketch of a soon to be trophy of theirs being held in the air with another seven figures (and a particular one that was supposed to be Taehyung sticking its tongue at it).

That night he fell asleep with a smile on his face and an optimistic feeling that they were going to win this even without Yoongi, all the while thanking the universe silently for giving them a blessing with the name of a Park Jimin.

(That night Park Jimin fell asleep with a smile on his face, thinking about how Yoongi just hugged him that evening and remembering how warm it felt for the tiniest of moment, all the while thanking the universe silently for giving him the chance to fall in love with a certain boy named Min Yoongi)

 

+.-.+

 

“Oh come on Namjoon you can do better than that!” Yoongi screamed, leaning to his crutches as he observed their leader dribbling the ball passed Jungkook and did a layup before failing miserably again for the fifth time.

“Yoongi, you’ve been practically torturing the poor soul for the past hours. Maybe you can give him a break now,” Seokjin said beside him, patting his shoulder.

On the court, Namjoon grunted and fell to the ground, hands and legs spread wide with chest heaving. Even Jungkook told him to cut some slack with their unfortunate leader. Mercy was the last thing that Yoongi got in terms of being a coach, but worry was another thing and upon Hoseok’s words that maybe he should let Namjoon rest before the poor soul twisted an ankle or pulled a tendon, risking another player’s absence after their MVP just stupidly broke his legs.

That was the reason why the seven of them had been spending their time in the gym after school (Namjoon specifically) underneath Yoongi’s coaching. He had done feeling sorry for his feet and if there was something he could do other than praying to ensure the victory of his team then he sure as hell would do it. Taehyung had joked that the sight of Yoongi sitting on the bench, barking order and yelling insults at Namjoon was comically befitting (not to mention that one time he kicked the shit out of Namjoon with his crutch when their leader zoned out in the middle of a practice game and missed a pass). Everyone had joked that Yoongi looked exactly like a grumpy middle-aged coach. At least they still respected him and they all pretty much trained under everything that he ordered and said.

“All right Namjoon you can take fifteen. You better ace that layup after this or I’ll force you to do a dunk and won’t let you leave until you pull it off.”

At the distance Namjoon raised his thumb, signaling Yoongi that he could hear him just fine.

Yoongi sighed, messing his own hair and sat on the bench himself. Jungkook threw himself next to him, skin flushed and completely drenched in sweat. He’d been practicing extra hard ever since they won the quarter final. It was Thursday like usual and the semifinal would be held next Friday at the first week of July in Chuncheon. Last year they only won third place and this year they definitely had to win the first. It was everybody’s last chance excluding Jungkook and it would be the perfect gift upon graduating.

“How’s the leg, hyung?”

Yoongi furrowed his eyebrow, realizing how stupid of a question it was for Jungkook to ask.

“Still broken, what do you expect, huh? For it to magically heal?”

Their youngest just chuckled. If it Jimin he was holding a conversation with, the younger had probably put on a startled look and had his eyes trailing south towards the floor already.

“Can we just dope you up with morphine and had you on court the next Friday, hyung?”

“Yah, I might never walk again if I did, brat,” he said, flicking the younger’s forehead.

“Well, you might never going to win this thing as well, hyung,” Jungkook said jokingly, rubbing his own forehead.

“Don’t say that Jungkook. Of course we’re going to win,” Hoseok said, overhearing their conversation. “That’s why we’re torturing Namjoonie right now,” he added with a giggle.

“Our survival lies entirely on Namjoon’s pain,” this time Seokjin said, looking at the sight of Namjoon who were still sprawling on the floor with Taehyung occasionally poking at their leader’s nose. “Otherwise why would Yoongi torture him to this extent, right?”

Yoongi smirked. He got up from the bench and blew the whistle (yes, he even got a whistle dangled like a necklace around his neck all that was missing was a tracksuit).

“You’ve got fifteen already, Namjoon. Get up now. Try to get pass Taehyung this time and you better do that layup right this time!” he barked.

Their leader whined, saying something about ‘it hasn’t even been fifteen minutes’ and ‘I can’t feel my legs right now it felt like jellies’. Either way he did get up in the end and redo the whole routine only to fail yet oncee again and got another lecture with the complete package of profanity used in the middle of it all from their so-called coach.

When Namjoon tried for the second time, Yoongi couldn’t help but to smirk as he heard Seokjin commented from behind, completely reading his mind by saying, “I take that back. He should be torturing Namjoon any other time of the day because this turns out to be entertaining.”

(In the end Namjoon did get punished with the dunk assignment and they all had to watch their leader do the impossible until around ten p.m., lounging at the side of the gym while eating instant ramyun that Minju brought for them.)

 

(They finally went home not because they were all tired of watching but because the ball had suddenly deflated upon touching with Namjoon’s destructive fingers for too long.)

 

+.-.+

 

“I’m sorry, hyung I-.”

“It’s okay, Jimin,” he mumbled, body hunched forward with fist tightened between his knees.

“I mean if I didn’t-.”

“Oh for god’s sake just shut up,” he said, raising his voice.

The boy shut his mouth right then and there. Yoongi didn’t dare turn his head around and see the boy’s glassy eyes. He didn’t even dare to look at his friends’ face, each of them sitting on their respective seat as the train took them back to Yeoryang-myeon in silence.

They lost. Semi-final and their opponent, the notorious seven boys group led by a certain Woo Jiho whose name Yoongi knew as one of the best players in Gangwon (or even South Korea) managed to beat them. They were last year’s winner and Yoongi thought that maybe they could hit it off. His throat was dry from shouting too much on the court, asking for a timeout for what felt like the dozenth time, desperately trying to come up with a strategic plan and explained it all to his teammates. They still lost with a gap of 10 or so point and his heart sank as the last horn blew.

That day Yoongi had practically run away from school on Friday and hop on the same train as the boys to Chuncheon. He sat on the bench, acting like a coach and still it wasn’t enough. At certain part of the game he literally thought about going in for the game (Jungkook even had to hold him down when he so stubbornly decided to do so).

But still they lost. They lost and Yoongi realized how everything he had hoped to be and all his dreams were shattered as easy as that just like his leg. The other were sad as well, none of them saying any other word even as they got to the train and went home. Still, everyone could see that Yoongi was the one being struck the hardest by that bitter realization. Not even the beautiful dusk outside the window could calm him down. He hoped that it would rain instead so the beauty of the sky wouldn’t be able to mock him. They would always shine so brightly even when he was feeling like shit. The least they could do was giving him a somber scene in form of a rain just like his heart was feeling right now.

“It’s okay, Jimin. No one’s blaming you for that last shot,” Seokjin said.

“But I could have scored that one,” Jimin said back.

Seokjin sighed, patting Jimin’s shoulder. “Even if you did we wouldn’t win anyway so don’t think about it too much,” the eldest said.

“But if I didn’t break Yoongi-hyung’s leg-.”

“It’s an accident, we know. This is not your fault, all right?” Seokjin said again with soothing voice and calming smile.

There was no laughter as they walk down the road of Yeoryang-myeon to their respective home. As usual Yoongi ended with Jimin, the boy walking a few steps behind him like a certain night he remembered. Truth be told, he was walking infuriatingly slow, dragging his useless leg along the way. Jimin could easily walk ahead, passing him, exactly like he hoped the boy would do, but instead he just walked at the same pace as Yoongi, following the older obediently from behind.

They just walked like that in silence, even when the broken leg cost them more than just thirty minutes. Everything felt agonizing, both the broken dreams and legs. The night sky couldn’t even remedy that burning fire in his heart since he was so, so mad. Both at himself, at god and even at the stupid cast that made his legs itch as hell. Heck, he was mad at the road as well since living amongst hills and mountains, the road in Yeoryang-myeon was definitely not the easiest it had to go up and down like a seesaw, torturing him with every step. He came to this agonizing hike as he was nearing Songcheon-gil and he had to hop and drag and even crawl with all his might.

At one point Yoongi decided to give up, letting himself fall on the concrete road in the middle of it and took a deep breath. He even felt like lying on the road right there and then, letting a truck ran him over.

Jimin walked closer to him, standing right in front of him and Yoongi couldn’t help but shot the boy a glare.

“What?!” he said, tone sharp and the very least friendly. He wasn’t in the mood for anything nice.

“You’re not going to reach home like this, hyung,” Jimin whispered slowly.

“So what? Just-, go away, Jimin,” he said. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

He certainly didn’t want to hear anymore of Jimin’s apologies or even the regretful look that the boy had in his eyes. He thought that Jimin would finally give up and walked pass him, leaving him alone finally for real. Yet he was wrong for the boy suddenly squatted down towards the ground before sitting on the concrete with him right in the middle of the road.

“What are you doing?” he asked, turning his head towards Jimin.

“What? I’m not talking to you, hyung. I’m just sitting here,” he answered, eyes gazing the end of the slope instead.

“Well, do I tell you to sit here?”

“No, you tell me not to speak with you and that’s entirely a different thing. And you know what, hyung? I will do just that. I’ll zip my mouth but I’m not leaving you alone until you reach home safely,” Jimin said, this time turning his head towards Yoongi.

He thought he was going to see another regretful look. Maybe a hint of sadness like always or the fear that the boy oddly harbored towards him. Heck, he was expecting tears as well. But no, he saw determination instead, one that was indeed seemed annoying for he figured that Jimin wouldn’t certainly leave him alone, proving his word just fine.

And somehow he wanted to laugh instead. He should be pissed, should be angry and snapped at the boy, but instead he wanted to laugh, both at Jimin’s words and the ridiculous determination that he had in his eyes.

“You’re so stupid Park Jimin, don’t you know that?” he said, a smirk painted in his face. He wanted to be angry for longer, actually, showing the boy how scary he could look but the smirk came almost too naturally he couldn’t help itself from showing.

Jimin smiled with him.

“Said the one sitting in the middle of the road first.”

“Well, you’re closer to the middle. If there’s a truck coming this way you’ll be the one losing your life first.”

“For your information I’m not the one sitting here because of a broken leg. If there’s indeed a truck coming this way I can easily get up and run away, unlike a certain someone.”

“Believe me Park Jimin when there’s a truck coming this way you won’t leave unscathed. At least something of yours will be broken because I still haven’t gotten my revenge yet.”

Jimin just let out a smile and Yoongi couldn’t help but to do the same. Everything was too superficial. How could a Park Jimin easily cure him of his sour mood with nothing but a look in his eyes and some stupid words.

Sighing, Yoongi massaged his sore thigh, turning his head towards the road in front of him, looking down at the slope that he had miraculously hiked with a broken leg. Up there the sky was already dark, the twinkling stars orchestrating their beautiful melody like always. But no, he didn’t raise his head up this time. He looked down instead, seeing the small light of the houses in Yeoryang-myeon, twinkling its way, mirroring the stars above. He could see the snaking Songcheon River underneath, its water glistening under the moonlight and the Auraji Bridge with its light glowing in the distance. Losing the game today had reminded him how he hated this town, yet this kind of beauty had always gnawed at his soft spot, he couldn’t let himself to hate this all.

Then again if it wasn’t for his broken leg, he wouldn’t find out about this new beautiful perspective of the town he hated and loved so much.

(And they ended up sitting there for almost an hour they didn’t move until a truck literally came its way passed the road, the driver mistaking them for delinquents with a suicidal wish.)

 

We lost.

 

But the brat and I found something beautiful on the road today.

 

+.-.+

 

(And to the talk about leaving with a broken something, let’s just say that Yoongi did get his revenge in a way.)

 

(Because something did get broken in the end)

 

 

Chapter Text

There was another match for the third-place and Yoongi clearly wasn’t even looking forward to it. He lived with a strict belief of ‘all or nothing’. So it was first place or nothing at all. They practiced for the last time before leaving for Chuncheon at the next Thursday and Yoongi didn’t even bother to come. They won of course, this time against a team whose leader had a tacky name for a Korean and oddly refused to take off his snapback even during game (or so Namjoon told him since he somehow ended up befriending this Jackson kid). Winning the third place didn’t really mean a lot. Losing the semifinal, on the other hand, hit him hard like a train he sulked the entire weekend and the remaining school days.

School was going to end that week anyway with the summer nearing. Bitter was realizing that he would be spending that entire summer with a broken leg. Sometimes he didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad one since it would give him the perfect excuse to hole himself up in his small room, frolicking around all day, hiding himself under the mountain of blanket. Then again that little part of him couldn’t deny that he was nothing but a mere teenager who really wanted to spend his goddamn last summer with his friend. That and how staying home, knowing that his parents would threaten him with an impromptu lecture about self-motivation and perfect future didn’t really appeal to him as a perfect summer.

With the thought of ‘last’ entering his mind, some sort of weird melancholy poked on his chest. Summer would come and fall would follow. Before long there would be January again, the dreaded Suneung (which he didn’t really give a flying fuck whatsoever) and came the hard decision of a future he was so afraid to dream about. He could only sigh before realizing that between the fall and that uncertain future, more and more arguments would follow in the Min household he just had to brace himself for all of it.

Yoongi remembered sitting bitterly on his seat during recess on Thursday, the emptiness behind his back had somehow become so prominent. Unlike the last time he didn’t spend it looking at the clock with feet fidgeting, praying for some sort of victory. That Thursday with the absence of his friend he decided to skip class instead. When the six of them were together, it was pretty hard to pull off such mischievous habit since the teacher would definitely realize five people missing from its seat in the classroom (with the exception of Jungkook who was one year younger than all of them and wouldn’t definitely skip class unless they all incited him to). Seokjin who was the nicest of them all often declined as well, saying that he should be giving good example for the boys but from time to time he gave in as well. Yoongi and Namjoon were the one who skipped class the most though lately every thought about that had been thrown out of the window. Basketball had indeed been the sole occupant of his mind without it he felt kind of empty right now.

So he skipped history (of course it got to be history) and stayed at their favorite spot, right at the staircase that led towards the roof alone. He had dragged himself there, being stupid enough to do so with a broken leg. Therefore not wanting to waste the agony of getting himself there, Yoongi stayed and had his notebook sprawled on his thigh, writing lyrics and thoughts as usual with the warm summer breeze lulling him to sleep.

In his dream there was the image of Hoseok doing a somersault in the air with Taehyung growing an Amish beard before the sky was painted black and he found himself on top of the grass, looking at the star constellation that oddly looked as if it was indeed Hoseok doing a somersault and Taehyung with an Amish beard. The dream was weird but even weirder he heard a laugh right next to him, a figure pointing his finger towards the sky and made fun of Taehyung’s beard.

“I think Taehyung should try growing a mutton chop,” the figure said, laughing with glee.

Yoongi realized it was Jimin, lying on top of the grass like that last time they did. The boy looked back at him, smiling widely.

“Jimin?”

And that was when he realized he wasn’t looking at Jimin. He was looking at the stars or the stars had formed itself into a face of a Park Jimin in his dream.

 

+.-.+ 

 

And that was when someone poked his shoulder and called out his name.

Normally Yoongi didn’t like being touched when he was asleep. Heck, he didn’t like being woken up. Sometimes the poor soul who dared to do the unspeakable fell to such a horrible fate, the said person’s face being acquainted with Yoongi’s fist. This time he had to thank god how he didn’t snap like usual, taking a moment to blink and realized it wasn’t his friends standing there by his side, waking him up from such a dream (that he admitted needed a waking up from).

“Yoongi, why are you sleeping here, silly?”

He certainly should be thankful he didn’t raise his hand so easily because it turned out to be-,

“-Yujin? What are you doing here?” he said, rubbing his own eye, realizing the girl standing beside him by the stairs.

She smiled so kindly like she always did and it made him feel real bad, knowing that he would hit a girl if he did raise his hand. Min Yoongi sure had a problem with his temper but hitting an innocent girl would be the last thing that he did.

“It’s recess already and you haven’t gotten back from the last one,” she said, sitting beside him.

He didn’t really care. He just wanted to let this day end sooner and went on with the next. Tomorrow would be Friday and it would be the last day before summer break came. He’d been thinking about taking that day off, running away someplace else before realizing that his leg was broken.

“Really? Well, I’m not planning on going back either,” he said, sighing. He really needed to keep his sassy word and sour mood on check whenever he spoke to girls in general. He stole a look at the nice girl and asked, “Why are you here anyway?”

There was a slight blush on the girl’s cheek but Yoongi thought that he definitely mistook it for something else. She cleared her throat before answering, fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

“Your friends are going for the match and you’re here alone and I just thought that-,” she looked away for a second, stopping midsentence before taking out a lunchbox he didn’t even realize she’d brought. “-well Minju told me where you guys would hang and I-,”

It wasn’t that Yoongi hated talking to girl but he realized that sometime their words didn’t really make sense to him he didn’t understand what they were trying to say.

“-Minju told me to-, or rather I-.”

“What are you trying to say, really?” he said, adding a little laugh at the end of the sentence to make sure she wouldn’t cry just from seeing his default expression like Jimin did which clearly didn’t mean anything.

She took a deep breath before finishing her sentence with a blunt, “I thought that maybe you’re hungry.” Yujin opened the lunchbox, showing him a nicely-cooked bento.

He looked at it with a straight expression, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t hungry, actually. Better yet if the girl brought him a pack of cigarette than he would actually be more thankful. But this was a girl, of course, and girls had a mind of their own. Girls were complicated and every things that they did mean a hundred more. Jung Yujin giving him a bento could even mean that she was insulting him in a way, Yoongi would never know.

“Thank you Yujin-ah, but I’m not really hungry anyway,” he answered.

The girl let out a little ‘oh’, a look of disappointment flashing in her eyes before it disappeared as soon as it came.

“Oh, it’s okay, then,” she said, keeping the same smile and closing the lunchbox.

Only then did Yoongi feel bad, realizing that the girl must have done a lot to prepare something for him (considering Yoongi didn’t really know much about cooking other than putting a ramyun in boiling water and waited for a few minutes). And somehow he remembered Jimin’s face right there and then, the disappointment that the boy had that time he messed with him, right at that first day before they started going home together. He remembered the boy waiting for him by the gate the day they weren’t having a practice, waiting for him to walk out of it and went home together like they did after every practice.

He oddly remembered that right now and realized how the boy’s face lit up with happiness the moment he told him to ride on his back again, starting a habit they rarely broke for weeks now.

“Well I’m not really hungry now, but maybe I would be in a few hours or so,” he said, adding a smile he rarely gave if he was talking to his other friend in general.

A smile sneaked its way to the girl’s face before she answered back with a, “Then maybe I’ll give it to you at the end of the lesson again.”

Yoongi smirked at that before replying, shifting from his position and sat upright.

“Well, are you really going to go back to the boring lesson, because I certainly wouldn’t.”

And the girl caught that faint hint faster than he thought she would, her face lighting up in that instance just like Jimin did.

 

(Yet oddly he didn’t find the stars he hoped he would be seeing)

 

+.-.+

 

They ended up skipping lesson together. It would only be a mere two hours away before the bell rang and they ended up talking a bit. A bit turned up into a lot after she said how she loved to sing. He always got excited whenever someone talked about music, got him and Namjoon bonding in the first place. He didn’t really talk to girls much with the exception of Minju whom he always teased about ever being with Seokjin. They talked about their closely knitted group of friend, most prominently about Seokjin and Minju, teasing the both of them and placing bets about when they would pronounce themselves as a couple. She stayed until the bell rang and he ate the lunchbox that she made for him then, noting how the food tasted like what Minju usually cooked (because they had spent too many occasion receiving Minju’s cooking in the middle of practice) and she admitted with an embarrassed look that the eldest helped her a lot in preparing that. He did and still praise and thank her in the end, resulting in another blush that she hid so expertly.

He wouldn’t really say that he was having so much fun but it wasn’t indeed something bad, him managing to spend his time without sulking the entire day from their team’s loss (the girl saying something about wanting to cheer him up because of it in between confusing words and thoroughly spoken sentence Yoongi could only hope he was getting the right message). It wasn’t something bad because he managed to forget about his friends and the fact that he was left alone again, waiting for their arrival (though he wasn’t really expecting about winning third place either). At one point she even got him laughing about her wicked impersonation of Namjoon talking with that awful English hip hop accent.

In the end they went back together, Yujin helping him getting off the series of stairs like she so kindly had offered before. She walked him to the school gate until he drove her away again like he did the last time and walked down the path back to his own home. That moment he funnily thought about how easy it was to get rid of her, unlike what he had tried with Jimin, since the latter would certainly refuse of doing so, stubbornly decided to stay by his side until a truck forced the both of them to leave. Yujin on the other hand respected his words and she left almost too easily, walking towards the other direction from him. Not that he was disappointed, really.

For the first time since what felt like weeks, he found himself walking back from the school towards Songcheon-gil alone with no figure of a Park Jimin beside him. He managed to do just fine, even huffing and puffing as he climbed that one agonizing hike at the end. He reached home just as the sun was setting, checking his messages soon after and found out that his friends have won the third place, the boys inviting him over to Seokjin’s place for celebration with the girls but he declined. Instead of being happy, there was that little part of him that kept on whispering, wondering where Jimin was. He didn’t ask his friends though in the end.

For the first time since what felt like weeks he walked back home without a certain Park Jimin’s figure with him and he denied the fact that his eyes kept on wandering towards the train station, waiting for a figure to make its appearance. He denied the fact that he constantly turned his head around, waiting for a certain voice to call out his name. Most importantly he denied the emptiness that somehow gnawed at his chest with each step that he took.

For the first time since what felt like weeks Yoongi walked back home alone and he denied the fact that it bothered him even until he laid his head on top of his pillow that night.

 

(For the first time since what felt like weeks Yoongi walked back home alone, not realizing that Jimin had actually gone back earlier that day than the others, running all the way from the Auraji train station towards the school just as the bell rang, asked where Yoongi was to the passing Minju, only to find the said boy laughing with a certain girl over a box of bento. Jimin left right after that and for the first time since what felt like weeks he didn’t come home with a certain figure of Min Yoongi beside him either.)

 

 

The brat didn’t come home with me today

 

+.-.+

 

The next day was supposedly the last day of school before summer holiday started and everyone was practically hyped about it, not a single one of them even paying any attention to the study. The teacher had even seemingly given up in the end as well, assigning them to self-study instead. Most of them huddled in groups, talking about plans for the summer. His group was no exception with Seokjin proposing the idea of going to the beach. He said about taking the train and went to Gangneung and the seven of them seemed to agree with that. Yoongi had whined about his legs being broken but they disregarded the fact, saying something about ‘we can take turn carrying you around bridal-style, hyung’ and none of them made ideas with even remembering the fact that one of them was having a broken leg.

Yoongi actually wasn’t one to complain because everywhere would be fine as long as he was spending it with this little band of stupid people he called friends. He could choose staying home but he rather ran away from his parent’s fury and used the time to enjoy what was left of their last summer with his beloved friends. They arranged a few days trip, Seokjin thoroughly planned it all out and Yoongi just hummed his approval easily, forgetting the fact that he got a broken leg himself.

When the bell rang almost all of the students jumped up in glee. Yoongi got caught up with a conversation with the girls, Minju proposing another idea of them getting together for fun at one point of the summer. This summer was indeed their last before they got to study for real, Suneung dawning upon all the 12th grader. Namjoon with his smart brain would probably find it easy to apply to SKY if he wanted to, but he knew that the two of them would rather live in the street of Hongdae making money out of rapping if they could. This summer the two of them had even made a promise about working on their mixtape.

Either way everyone was hyped, everyone was having fun and Yoongi found himself standing in front of the school gate before he realized that Park Jimin wasn’t there. The boy had indeed sat behind him that day, he would certainly realize it if he didn’t. They didn’t really speak towards each other much during lesson and that was what the walk back home made up for.

He waited until the bodies thinned out, the other students quickly going back home and went on with their planned vacation. Even his friends went home first, saying about changing and taking their belongings back home before grouping up at the hills. But Yoongi just stood there by the gate, waiting for the figure of Park Jimin, thinking about how he walked back home yesterday and weighing the option of doing the same thing for today. Maybe Jimin had gone back earlier, he thought. Why wouldn’t he go back with him certainly meant nothing and he shouldn’t be bothered with it.

And that was when he remembered about what Jimin used to do, the cries he found in the classroom and that one time he ran back for him thinking that he would be doing the same. The thought of that got him feeling something weird in his chest, something akin to that little pang combined with such worry and tightness. Maybe Jimin was still back in the classroom, then? Why? Did something happen to him again?
Yoongi didn’t let his mind finished all of those accusations and thoughts for he had dragged his feet again, climbing up the stairs with his crutches tucked under his arm (and it was both troublesome and painful). He would run if he could, but alas his useless feet stopped him from doing so. His chest oddly beat harder and faster as he neared the classroom, wishing himself to be wrong.

There was that weird pang in his chest again when he found that he was indeed right. He felt as if something fell within his stomach or the same organ was being flipped upside down. He saw it right from the glass door, the same figure of a Park Jimin, sitting in his usual seat, burying his face in his palm.

Yoongi gritted his teeth, feeling disappointed and angry at the same time, stepping forward and slammed the door open.

To the sound of the open door, Jimin quickly raised his face and there was a look of shock upon realizing that it was Yoongi. He quickly rubbed his face, desperately trying to hide the fact that he was crying. It was of no use, of course, because he certainly wouldn’t miss that red rim under his eyes and the wet tears staining his cheek. Yoongi quickly stepped forward towards the boy as fast as his stupid legs could get him and grabbed Jimin’s wrist, prying it off of his face like he did the last time.

“Why are you crying again? I thought you’ve stopped,” he said, raising his voice towards Jimin who was casting his eyes aside, trying his best not to look at Yoongi’s eyes. The boy hiccupped, not answering him. It wasn’t like last time, the way Jimin was so broken he was trying to tell Yoongi something but stopped midway.

This time he looked as if he was caught in a middle of doing a crime and to Yoongi, it looked as if he just caught him doing drugs or something bad that was close to crime when actually all he did was just shedding his tears. But no, to Yoongi who had seen it for too many times, this scene had become something he couldn’t really put a label on. Most of all he couldn’t really put a label upon this feeling he got whenever he saw the boy cried. He didn’t even know why it bothered him so much.

“Nuh-no. It’s all right, I’m fine,” Jimin lied, still not looking at his face.

“What is it? Are your parents bugging you again? Is it about Seoul again?”

“I’m fine, hyung. Really I’m-,” but Yoongi could feel the boy’s hand trembling underneath his grip.

“What is it, then? You’re upset because we lost?”

“No, I’ve tuh-told you I’m-,” and Jimin’s voice was shaking again.

“Or is it about my leg? God, Jimin, I’ve told you to forget about that!”

“No, hyung. I’m fine. You duh-don’t understand it’s-,”

“No, you’re clearly not okay. So tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!”

And as the word slipped his lips Jimin pried his wrist off, glaring at Yoongi and yelled.

“Because you’ll hate me if I did, okay hyung?!”

That was the first time Jimin ever yelled at him. He finally looked at him in the eyes, tears running down his cheek as he did so. He was crying right now and his eyes were red and wide, looking at him with that bitter expression of sadness and frustration. Yoongi was taken aback, finding himself at a loss of word. Jimin just raised his voice, crying as he did so and he didn’t know what to say back.

“If I told you what’s wrong you’ll hate me, okay? And i-,” he hiccupped, the tears streaming down his face even harder. “-I duh-don’t want you to hate me.”

Jimin wailed after that, his shoulder shaking so hard. He buried his face against his palm again and he cried so hard, even harder than that time the boy was fighting with his parents. Yoongi wanted to yell back, screaming at the boy like he did the last time because that was the only thing that he knew about consoling people. He wasn’t indeed the brightest at that but right now, he was just simply lost. He didn’t even know what to do and he just stood there, seeing Park Jimin cried his eyes out in front of him. He wasn’t even disgusted. He wasn’t even angry anymore. Oddly the only thing that he felt was that pang in his chest, getting sharper and harder it somehow hurt.

Yes, his chest had oddly hurt instead.

“Yuh-you’ll h-hate m-me. Luh-like T-taekhoon again. H-he suh-said that e-everything’s muh-my fault,” Jimin said in between his sobs, face still buried in his palm. “E-everything w-would b-be like Seoul and he wuh-would said tuh-that I suh-started it f-first.”

Yoongi couldn’t really understand what Jimin was saying but he knew that he was talking about Seoul. It had always been Jimin’s greatest fear it had become something close to a trauma.

“A-and e-everyone wuh-would hate m-me. E-even S-seokjin-hyung, Juh-jungkook a-and-.”

He rambled about the name of their friends or so it turned out to be in the middle of his hiccups and sobs.

“A-and yuh-you. E-especially y-you, h-hyung. I-I duh-don’t wuh-want t-to repeat the suh-same mistake again.”
Something that happened in Seoul was a mistake for Jimin and up to this point Yoongi still didn’t know what it was other than the fact that it had cost Jimin everything and how he fought with his parents because of it up until now.

“Buh-but i-I know i-I wuh-will. I juh-just realize t-that and i-I’m suh-scared hyung. I’m ruh-really scared.”

That moment Yoongi did something that he never thought he would do. It wasn’t the first time that he did it, but it was the first time he did it not out of impulse. He did it genuinely, because the sight of Jimin crying in front of him was simply too much. He motioned forward and put his arm around the boy. Jimin was so broken and all he wanted to do now was just put his arm around him, trying to keep every little piece of him from falling apart. He looked as if he was ready to break at any second given.

All this time he never quite understood what happened. He always thought that Park Jimin was weird, that Park Jimin was childish and such a crybaby. After knowing the boy a bit more, even when he was still in the dark regarding the boy’s past, he knew that Park Jimin wasn’t weird, or childish, or a crybaby. He was just fragile. He was broken, or at least someone broke him before. Park Jimin was a soul with tattered heart and shattered body badly held together with a single line of fragile string.

“Hey, it’s all right, okay. We’re never going to hate you,” he said, patting the boy’s trembling back. Jimin just kept on crying, even as Yoongi hugged him. If so, he ended up crying even harder, fisting his hand on Yoongi’s school uniform, repeating the words over and over again at how scared he was.

“Y-you will, h-hyung. You-,”

“Remember what I said to you. You’re not in Seoul anymore, okay? And nothing bad would happen to you here. You’re not going to repeat the same mistake. Nobody’s going to hurt you,” he said again.

He didn’t even know the words he was saying. They could be lies, he thought. He would be such a liar but at this moment he didn’t even let himself think. He just let the words flow out of his lips, trying to calm Jimin. It had seemed to do the trick, because the shivering and shaking had gradually lessened, the boy whimpered slowly, letting out small sobs instead right now.

“And I’m not going to hate you, okay Jimin? You’ll be fine. You’ll forget about Seoul and you’re going to have so much fun here.”

That one was a lie actually because there was not much that you could do in Yeoryang-myeon anyway. Maybe they could finally attain the so-called fun when they went to the neighboring cities. But either way this was not the time to question himself.

“And you don’t need to worry about me hating you, because I already did,” he said, adding a little laugh at the end. “I mean you’re practically responsible with this itching cast. And who the hell ran out of me yesterday when he said he’s going to take me home every single day, hm?”

Jimin’s body shook a little not from crying but from laughing at that moment. He let out a small laugh and Yoongi did as well, patting the boy’s back before putting his hands on the boy’s shoulder and pulled himself so he could take a good look at Jimin’s face. The boy was avoiding his eyes and not until Yoongi told him to look at him there did the boy finally comply. His eyes were even redder, his cheek stained wet from the tears.

“Look, I’m not having you cried on me again because seriously, you look disgusting when you did. This would be the last time, okay?” he said with a smirk.

Jimin let out a small weak laugh, but it was a laugh nonetheless. Still at the bottom of his heart he couldn’t let that thought out of his head, how it somehow hurt him as well realizing that Jimin was simply scared. He was so scared about repeating the same mistake whatever it was that it got him breaking apart like this.

“Nothing bad is going to happen to you here, okay? And really, stop crying because there’s nothing in this world that I hate the most other than that.”

Jimin hiccupped for the last time before he nodded. Yoongi flicked the boy’s forehead and he let out a small ouch.

“What duh-do you do that for?” Jimin said, rubbing his forehead.

“Whenever you cried again, I’m going to hurt you so bad you’ll finally stop, okay? So remember that.”

The boy let out a chuckled. “That was one hell of a twisted way to comfort someone, hyung,” he said, smiling, wiping his tears. Finally he had stopped crying, regaining his old self and that tightness in his own chest gradually disappeared as well.

“Good, because Min Yoongi is everything but conventional,” he said, smirking. “Now let’s go home because you should make up for yesterday’s absence, slave,” he added, standing up and on his crutches again.

They walked back home again like usual that day. Jimin had stopped crying and he didn’t mention it to Yoongi anymore, treating the red on his eyes like it didn’t mean anything. He had tons of questions but he kept it to himself, realizing that the last thing he should do was to pry. They walked home like nothing had happened and they went to the hill afterwards, celebrating their last day of school before summer vacation started. They walked back home again after that at 2 in the morning and they laughed, everything about Jimin’s cry forgotten already by it.

Only when Yoongi stood on his desk with his journal spread open that night did the memory came flooding back, the words and the actions that he did for Jimin replaying itself in his head.

He put his own hand on his chest, remembered the tightness he felt there as he saw the boy cried. He remembered the warmth that he felt when he put his arm around Jimin. He remembered the relief he felt when the boy had finally laughed and stopped crying. He remembered the words he had spoken.

And he remembered that last, odd and foreign feeling that made his heart somehow stuttered in way he couldn’t comprehend when he finally saw Jimin smiling amongst his friends, his worries finally forgotten. That was the one feeling he couldn’t find the explanation and name for.

 

 

The brat cried again and I convinced him that it would be the last time that he did.

 

 

It better be.

Chapter Text

His first day of summer vacation oddly started with a piece of rock, knocking against his window. He didn’t regard it at first, being cocooned inside of his blanket like a burrito, feeling the warm fleece soft against his face. The second time the rock bounced against his window his eyebrow shifted, Yoongi humming incoherent noise against his pillow. The third time it was even a bigger rock, it somehow managed to pierce the glass through, entering his room with a loud crashing noise. The shattered glass couldn’t muffle out the noise coming from outside anymore, it got him hearing his friends’ loud screams and frantic yells.

“Oh my god Namjoon-hyung, you broke Yoongi-hyung’s window!” he faintly heard something that resembled Taehyung’s voice from the realm of his dream.

“You’re so dead Namjoon, so dead,” this time it was Seokjin.

“Wait. Yoongi-hyung’s still not waking up? What the-,” that was Jungkook.

And Hoseok added with a, “Well that’s Yoongi-hyung for you.”

“Hyung, wake up!” and that was Jimin yelling so loud it got the sleep off of him in an instant.

He groaned, trying to shift from his comfortable position and grasped on that sleep he wasn’t so ready on letting go. Sadly Hypnos had turned a blind eye over him because instead, he was getting more and more awake. Everything thanks to a certain group of idiot, of course.

“Hyung, wake up it’s 9 already!” Jimin screamed again.

Yoongi jerked from his bed finally, ran towards the window (forgetting the fact that he had a broken leg and winced immediately upon taking the first step) before yelling back a, “Shut up you assholes!”

(Somewhere in the background his mother screamed out a, “Language Yoongi!”)

“Look, he’s awake,” Taehyung said, giggling, pointing out at him.

“And who the hell broke my window?!” he screamed, realizing the gaping hole at the glass. Through it he could see six of his friends standing outside of his house, pointing a finger at Namjoon.

“Come down now, Yoongi. We’ve been waiting for you, honestly,” Seokjin said smiling.

“Waiting for what?” he said, eyes still half-closed.

“For an adventure, of course!” this time Taehyung exclaimed. “We promised Jimin we’re going to show him the Auraji train tracks!”

Truthfully he didn’t remember what he had promised from yesterday’s planning, for most of the time he was just nodding and his head got him actually thinking about all the private activity that he got to do by himself.

“Is it really today? And why do you have to do it so goddamn early in the morning?” he complained.

Just last night they’d been playing on the hills until around 2 a.m. and that kind of activity was equivalent to probably 20 hours straight worth of sleep.

“Honestly it’s 9 am already, Yoongi. And by normal people’s standard that’s not ‘early’ in the morning,” their eldest chimed in.

“It is to me!” he groaned, before retreating back to his fortress of pillow and pulled the blanket over his head.

He heard his friend grumbled and yelled his name out again and Yoongi just gritted his teeth, covering his ear with the pillow and tried to fall asleep again although knowing how impossible it would be. Heck, if he couldn’t sleep he would just lie there all day for all he cared.

But then, of course his friends had to be so goddamn stubborn. Of course his friends had to be stupid, wild and loud, for the next thing he knew the voices had suddenly stopped. He was glad, really, knowing that they had finally given up and smirked against his pillow. He closed his eyes and thought that maybe, sleeping wasn’t so impossible to attain for the second time after all.

And boy was he so wrong. The next thing he knew, his friends were barging in through his unlocked door, Taehyung jumping on his mattress and Hoseok shrieking on his ear.

“Wake up Yooooongiiiiiiii!” Taehyung yelled.

At the same time Seokjin pried the blanket off of him and not until Jimin ran his fingers against his side, tickling him at that spot he was so weak at that Yoongi woke up again with a jolt, muffled laughter escaping his lips. He thought about planning their death and funeral right there and then.

 

+.-.+

 

Yeoryang-myeon was actually a series of smaller ro in the Jeongseon area of Gangwon province, but the actual city of Yeoryang itself in which Yoongi spent most of his time in (considering their school is located in the heart of the city as well), is an area surrounding the two rivers of Songcheon and Goljicheon. It was a small town, really, with its only tourist attraction being the Auraji Train Station and this small little shop that somehow had the exterior look of a fish (and Yoongi never really got curious about the place to spend his time and check it out either). The other attraction was probably the Auraji Rail Bike that passed through the city, going all the way from Nochusan-ro at the north, though the real train track itself started from Gangneung City by the coast until it passed Seoul on the west. Tourist could actually board this little wooden platform and went down the train track on the Auraji Rail Bike, seeing the Songcheon River glistening by the side and the rows and rows of beautiful green fields that followed soon after. There was this one part that even led through a tunnel and at that place did the six of them had once found something amazing.

That day they all headed for the train track, following them by foot. Normal tourists should have paid so they got to board that little wooden platform and saved themselves from walking, but not them. And in this case, not even Yoongi who was doing it all with a broken leg and two troubling crutches under his arm. It was stupid of him to even get along with what his friends had to say and even more stupid to drag his broken leg across miles and miles of rocky roads and hills.

But in the end, he indeed loved his friends to that extent for him to agree with them (and of course he wouldn’t want to acknowledge that love). They walked down the train track from the Auraji train station, passed the resting locomotives and trailers in the train yard until they reached the northern part of the city just east of Songcheon-gil that went by the side of Songcheon River. He could see the water glistened at his right as they walked down passed it.

“You're okay there, Yoongi?” Seokjin asked.

“Well apart from my leg being broken and the other hurt as hell, I guess I’m okay,” he said with a cynical smile painting his face.

They had been indeed walking for an hour. When the Songcheon River was no longer in sight and they had passed through this field instead, did Yoongi’s walk become stuttered. He stopped for a moment, wiping the sweats on his forehead before observing his surroundings. It was field of pure green, the grass carpeting the ground, being a contrast of the blue above his head. A smile sneaked upon his face because as much as he hated the walk and how tiring it was, he couldn’t hate the scenery that unveiled in front of him.

His friends had seemingly walked ahead of him, taking a lead at the front and he would be left behind at the back if he didn’t hustle immediately. With the state of his feet Yoongi didn’t really like doing so either. It wasn’t until Jimin who had been laughing with Taehyung turned his head around, did he realize Yoongi who was slacking behind. The boy stopped his conversation before running back towards him.

“Hey hyung, you're okay?” he asked, jogging slightly towards him.

“Yeah, I’m okay brat, just go on without me. I just need a little break,” Yoongi said, bending down and massaging his sore leg from limping the whole day.

“No, no. I’ll stay here with you, don’t worry. Or do you want me to call the other and-,”

“Nah, I’m fine, just-,”

And the thing about Yoongi was how he didn’t want to burden people and be gazed at with this pitiful look on their eyes. Yeah he had a broken leg, but he knew what this journey would cost and he would pull through it just fine.

“Don’t push yourself too hard, hyung. You’ve got a broken leg, we know.”

“It’s not an excuse.”

“Yes it is!”

“Well it doesn’t stop you all from dragging me here so it shouldn’t stop me now,” he said.

“Fine then if you don’t want to rest. It left me with nothing but to take drastic measure,” Jimin said.

Yoongi wanted to ask what sort of drastic measure it would be before the boy suddenly swoop him off the ground, holding him by the feet and waist. And not until his feet was off the ground and him flailing around proved to be futile, did he realize that Jimin was holding him bridal-style almost too embarrassingly.

“You fucking brat, put me down right now!” Yoongi hissed, trying to flail and hit Jimin with his crutch in the mean time.
“Oh god hyung stop wriggling around too much I’m going to drop you for real if you did,” Jimin said, trying his best to hold Yoongi who was moving too much and avoiding the crutches at the same time.

“This is embarrassing now put me down!” he yelled.

“Geez you’re so stubborn hyung just relax,” Jimin said, taking a step forward and miraculously still managing to hold the wriggling Yoongi.

“I demand you to put me down or I’m going to hurt you so bad!” he said before smacking Jimin’s head so hard right then. It did the trick because Jimin winced and accidentally dropped him to the ground. His legs felt like breaking for the second time (though he thought that it already did for all the walk he’d done the last couple of days). His butt felt sore and as he rubbed on them, Jimin stood up with his hands on his waist, ready to lecture him.

“Okay, I’m going to give you two options right now. Either you stop flailing and I carry you on my back or you just keep on wriggling and I’ll carry you bridal style all the way, hyung,” Jimin said.

Yoongi scoffed. Of course he wouldn’t even pick either of the two. Min Yoongi had such thing that was called pride, and boy did he protect his own with blood and sweat. There was no way in hell would someone see how weak Min Yoongi was, especially to the point where  he needed some holding from a mere boy brat who was way shorter than him (only 1 cm difference, actually, but still). In short, there was no way that Min Yoongi would be-

 

+.-.+

 

-held by Jimin because he was slowing everybody down, Namjoon had said. Yoongi groaned after that, telling that they shouldn’t even bring him along then in the first place. But of course, his friends just kept on walking, noting that grumpy old Min Yoongi and his protests were normal. Their friends were leading the way, the field still stretched around them. Yoongi wrapped his hand around Jimin’s neck, trying to keep himself from falling and the younger was holding him on his back. His crutches were hold by Jungkook and Taehyung who were now using it to play gun and sword almost too comically (they pretended as knights fighting over a girl whose part was played by Hoseok, making weird choking noises and shrieks like always). Namjoon and Seokjin were at the front, conversing with each other.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered.

“Relax, hyung. This is just a piggyback. Everybody did this. You gave me one before,” Jimin answered cheerily. The boy was looking unexceptionally happy with how the situation that unfolded. He liked to see this particular Min losing his pride from day to day, it seemed.

“I gave you one?” Truthfully he couldn’t really remember when such thing ever occurred.

Jimin cleared his throat before answering with a hushed voice.

“Yeah, you remember, hyung? When I was fighting with my parents.”

The memories came rushing back. Jimin’s feet were bleeding, he remembered. The boy didn’t even put anything on before climbing down the window and ran barefooted on the road. He somehow unnecessarily remembered the same feet were running around the entire Yeoryang-myeon the next day, looking for him.

“Ah, yeah. Well, you needed it back then,” Yoongi said, remembering the pathetic look in Jimin’s face and how sad he was. The same memories got him remembering what had happened yesterday and somehow it got him clenching his fist and his chest feeling tight.

“Well, you need it now, hyung. You could barely walk”

“No I don’t. Heck, I’ll walk all the way back, I’ll just show you.”

“Walk? Don’t you mean crawl?”

“Oh, shut up Park Jimin. You’re heavy anyway,” he said, playfully flicking the boy’s head.

“You’re heavier!” Jimin protested. “The bike broke for a reason, you know, and that’s because you’re heavy. It didn’t break when I was the one riding behind.”

“It broke because you’re an incompetent rider!”

“Do the math, hyung. We fell down and you broke your leg because you fell down first.”

“I broke my leg? Wasn’t it you, who broke mine?” he said, returning the enunciated 'you' while poking at the boy's head.

“That’s why I’m taking the responsibility of being the one who’s holding you. So just you know, I’m a gentleman, hyung,” Jimin protested with a laugh which he returned with a simple scoff.

They were nearing the line of trees, its green canopy greeting them with its twigs blown by the wind, as if flailing their hand, inviting them to come. They fell into a comfortable silence, with Yoongi lifting his head to see the sky above, closing his eyes. The wind was indeed nice and he could smell that summer in the air, if such thing could even be smelled. Not until his neck felt sore did Jimin suddenly called his name, voice low and more like a whisper.

He cracked an eye open, grunting to make sure that he heard Jimin, but instead the brat just shook his head.

“No, forget it hyung,” he muttered.

At this point Yoongi was amazed at realizing how well he’d grown to know someone named Park Jimin. By any means, he certainly understood that a ‘forget it’ with that kind of tone from the boy wouldn’t mean what it had been literally said.

“Yeah right. Park Jimin you better tell me what you want to say before I hurt you,” Yoongi said, fisting his hand and gave the boy a light smack on his head.

“N-no, really, just forget it.”

“Oh please, you’re really trying to say something,” he said.

He bet that Jimin was gulping right now, face looking worried and eyes casted downwards again. He didn’t need to see the boy’s face to know what kind of expression he was making. Jimin took a deep breath before asking and he couldn’t help but to be curious as to what the question might be. Was it something important? Was it something that would change the course of their friendship? Or maybe he had heard something bad about Yoongi? Or perhaps he was going to say something important. Was it something about Seoul? Did Park Jimin finally decided to-,

“Hyung, do you like Yujin?”

Yoongi blinked. That was far from what he had expected.

“What?”

“Oh god, no, no just forget I ever ask that,” Jimin said, sounding embarrassed.

“Where do you hear that from?” he asked, brows furrowed because really, what kind of a question was that? One that he wasn’t really expecting, that for sure. “Is it Namjoon? God, please don’t believe in everything that Namjoon said.”

Jimin didn’t answer him straight away but in the end he opened his mouth again and said.

“No, I don’t hear it from anyone,” the boy whispered.

“Then what?

“You know, hyung. I’m just-, curious. You said back then that Minju and the girls are beautiful, and I just thought-,”

“Well they are beautiful, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to date any of ‘em. What’s the deal anyway? You like Yujin and you’re afraid that I like her as well?”

By this time they were leaving the field, entering the lines of trees, the roof of green hovering above them, blocking the blue of the sky.

Jimin shook his head slowly.

“No,” the boy whispered but still loud enough for him to hear. “It wasn’t Yujin that I like.”

He wanted to pry, teasing the boy with whomever the boy was harboring his crush on before a certain pterodactyl sound caught his attention instead. He looked up towards the three idiots to find Hoseok using his crutches and pretended that he was a bird or something with Jungkook and Taehyung tailing him, recreating a Native American rain dance or something. He yelled at them, telling Hoseok in particular not to mess with the crutches and they ended up making more noises, he certainly regretted the fact that he was acquainted with them.

In the end it got his mind off of Jimin’s word entirely, the three idiots running towards Yoongi and teased him, prying him off Jimin’s back and getting him seated between Jungkook and Taehyung’s shoulder, this time pretending as if he was a Native American chief or whatever (and he cursed and shouted and flailed, of course, but they got him too high on the ground he didn’t want to squirm too much and fall).

It got him completely forgetting Jimin’s words. And most importantly, it got him not seeing or even hearing Jimin’s little whisper as the boy stood behind, watching Yoongi being teased by his three friends as he smiled, letting two small words escaping his lips.

 

“It’s you.”

 

+.-.+

 

They passed the line of trees, all the way deeper and deeper into the forest and getting farther and farther from Yeoryang-myeon. It had been nearly two hours since they were walking and Yoongi had spent it getting a piggyride from almost the six of them he honestly believed that he had lost his pride as a man by now (he was just too hyperbolic, of course).

They would be somewhere along Nochusan-ro now, north of the city. The trees were now lining at either side of them, the train track leading to a certain concrete figure at the end of it and he knew that they were close. They made it there, at least, with Jimin asking Seokjin whether it was indeed the place they were heading.

If the hill was something that Taehyung had found, the Auraji train tunnel was something that him, Namjoon and a couple of the elder hyung had found years ago when they were still in middle school. It all started from a bus trip to Gujeoran-gil from the school. They passed this very tunnel through the highway right on top of it and as they poke their head to the side they would find the train track, wondering whether the one they saw were connected with the one back in Auraji. A childish curiosity was the one getting them following the train track on another summer day just like this one.

As they neared the tunnel Jimin had gotten more and more excited. Yoongi was finally back on his two feet again, limping closer towards the tunnel. There was a part of the tunnel that led to another secluded area, a structure right under the highway that was left unfinished. It was practically in the middle of nowhere even the homeless didn’t venture this far into the mountains.

But a group of delinquents did, for as Namjoon led them through their farthest hideout, Yoongi could see the worn out couch and made-shift seat that they left months ago still intact. Right in the middle of it was a barrel from which they made fire from. They had once camped out there last summer and it was indeed a good time, the six of them sleeping oh-so-soundly only to wake up with horrible mosquito bites on their limbs.

Jimin had quickly exclaimed how awesome that place was and he just smiled, noting at the series of graffiti that they had left on the wall, most of it belonged to Jungkook (because who knew the boy was so good at painting as well). All of them did their part, actually, everyone in the Bulletproof Boys basketball team writing something along the wall, even the hyungs that had graduated. It felt like their own wall on which they left their mark on, and of course seeing that got Jimin’s eyes teary again, especially the moment Taehyung took out some aerosol can from the backpack he’d been taking and offered Jimin to write his name there amongst them.

They spent the remains of the day there on the worn-out couch around the unlit fire, telling stories and lighting up a few cigarettes. Yoongi usually denied the offer because smoking would mess up his lungs, which he desperately needed for basketball. But quoting Taehyung’s, ‘what the hell’, he ended up shrugging and took a drag. They just spent the rest of the day frolicking, laughing at each other’s face (to Jimin taking a drag on his first cigarette and fail miserably at it just like everybody had expected him to). For once, him and Namjoon rap a bit for the other, showing them all the effort he’d been spending with his notebook. Them rapping got Hoseok standing up and danced a bit, beatboxing as he did so with Taehyung and Jungkook providing some beat, stomping their feet on the ground and clinging a couple of empty soju bottles together.

“You dance as well, right Jimin?” Taehyung said.

Of course the brat flushed, his face turning red and he tried his best to avoid it. They got him to stand up of course at the end, drying his throat and making excuses like how he hadn’t danced in months. Still they made a beat for him and Jimin closed his eyes.

The boy closed his eyes and he danced, his movement fluid like water. It was the same popping and locking like what Hoseok did but quite different. Heck, Yoongi didn’t know much about dancing, but he could tell that what he was seeing was just simply beautiful.

They got to thank Seokjin for the eldest had brought them some snacks and a nicely cooked bento. They ate, Hoseok ended up taking a nap and the rest of them drawing weird lines on his face, taking another cigarette and teasing Jimin with it and practically laughed their ass off until their stomach ached. They talked about a lot of thing but not once did the topic of the future come into surface, which was something Yoongi was so glad of.

Because he didn’t want to think about the future or the past. He just wanted to remember Yeoryang-myeon and his little band of friends, just like how they were on that exact summer day.

 

 

We took the brat to the train tunnel today. He was We were happy.

Chapter Text

Summer went by faster than he cared to admit. Yoongi spent the remainder of the month frolicking in his own room or going out with his band of friends. He managed to make some beat during the weeks and recorded something worthy enough to be heard with Namjoon. Being productive certainly made him feel better about himself. At dusk they would certainly play basketball together at the court near their leader’s house and Yoongi would simply watch from the side, leaning his back against a makeshift pillow of bags with his notebook on his lap.

He thought that they would simply stop playing after they’d lost, but it turned out that basketball had indeed become a habit they couldn’t let go. One evening they decided that they got to increase Namjoon’s level of skill in basketball though their leader winced in return, telling them that such action was unnecessary considering there was no point in it already. They tortured the man again, of course, and Namjoon just loved them too much he finally gave in and agreed to do the impossible task in return of Seokjin’s homemade cooking for an entire week. The scene turned out to be so funny and of course would be something that Yoongi wouldn’t be able to forget for his entire life.

They forced Namjoon to do a slam dunk, Hoseok and Taehyung even went as far as giving the man a lift. Their leader jumped, holding the basketball in hand and aimed for the ring. The ball did get through, though, and practically he did manage to dunk, but not before he gripped the ring, hanging from it with limbs dangling in the air, and it broke. Yes, the ring broke as Namjoon dangled from it, he fell on the ground on his butt with the said metal ring still around his grip.

What happened next was all of them bursting into laughter. ‘God of Destruction’ was definitely going to be their life-long inside joke.

Days went by and he was happy, Yoongi could say that. His legs were troublesome but it didn’t hinder him from having fun. Just as they had planned it, they decided to go to Gangneung somewhere along the middle of August and that explained how he was sitting by the Auraji train station with a packed bag, waiting for his friends. For once he was early and he cursed under his breath, realizing that indeed he was. He didn’t really tell his friends about it but he had secretly been looking forward for this trip.

One by one his friends came into view, Hoseok coming first with Taehyung, giving a piggyback to the latter. Jungkook came next before Namjoon and Seokjin followed afterwards, their eldest dragging an exceptionally heavy-looking bag (which he assumed would be food and stuff). Taehyung being Taehyung of course brought the minimum amount of clothes and Seokjin being the mother he was just shook his head upon noticing that the younger didn’t even bring a decent amount of underwear.

Jimin came last and he watched as Taehyung ran and dived towards him. The two wrestled together and it took Jungkook teasing Jimin that he was wearing insoles and Hoseok pinching the boy’s cheek before the train came and they all boarded it with such a ruckus. Namjoon sat by the window and slept with an earphone on his ear while the kids ransacked Yoongi’s crutches again, playing with it (this time it was a reenactment of Star Wars) and made one hell of a commotion in the carriage (which thankfully was practically empty) whilst Seokjin taking a video of them.

Gangneung is a coastal town at the east of South Korea and definitely smaller than Busan ever was. Summer wouldn’t be summer if it wasn’t for a trip to the beach and the seven of them had decided that they would go to Gyeongpo Beach, a place famous enough (and cheap enough, that was the most important part of it all) for a bunch of high school teenagers to spend their summer in.

Seokjin and Namjoon had taken care of the housing, they ended up in a small guesthouse around fifteen minute walk from Gyeongpo Beach. It was far from a five hotel luxury, that was for sure, but at least air conditioning in the summer heat was already everything that Yoongi could ever hope for.

Upon arriving they all quickly headed to the beach, Taehyung and Jungkook practically raced towards it, eager to feel the sand underneath their toes and forgetting the fact that one of them was having a broken leg. Still Yoongi didn’t complain, smiling sheepishly and dragged his feet with both crutches tugged between his legs leisurely before of course, Jimin and Hoseok exchanged a smile that meant mischief and scooped Yoongi up from the ground, carrying him all the way to the beach with the two of them running and the one being hauled up from the ground screaming.

Yoongi being Yoongi decided to sit underneath the shade of an umbrella afterwards, watching as Seokjin taking a video of them all in his cam recorder, Namjoon trying to catch a crab (Yoongi didn’t really understand why the man kept on insisting about catching a crab even when they were still planning on where to go) with Hoseok beside him aiding, while Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung were farther behind playing with the waves. With a broken leg all that he could do was to sit and watch, but he was content with just that. In fact he was indeed loving the moment.

It had been years since Yoongi last went to a beach and he got to say that he felt serene the moment he set foot on Gyeongpo beach, feeling the warm breeze that was definitely different than the usual chill of the mountain air in Yeoryang-myeon. Even the blue of the sky was different. He got that weird sensation that the sky hung higher and the shade of blue was deeper. It was the same blue nonetheless but the feeling was definitely different, all with the warm sand under his toes and the echoes of his friends’ laughter ringing on his ear.

He could take a photograph of this, capturing the moment on a piece of paper as a life-long reminiscence, but even that wouldn’t be enough. Because a photograph wouldn’t be able to capture the color of the sky like he was seeing it right now, or the wind against his cheek or the sound of wave crushing against the sand. All he wanted to do was to take all of this sensation into one certain object, framing it and hung it on his bedroom wall to be reminded at how happy he once was, how happy they were all.

“Hey Yoongi don’t just sulk there!” Seokjin said, yelling for him. “Come on, have some fun.”

He protested at how he was really having fun, watching them all from underneath the umbrella, but of course his friends weren’t convinced. They all ended up running towards him and of course he knew where this was heading. He threatened Taehyung at first who was biting his lips in excitement, minds filled with idea about throwing him into the sea, he bet, before he said that he couldn’t get his cast wet at all cost, or even having sands on them because he knew it would be a torture for the itching skin underneath. It wasn’t until Jimin who proposed the idea of burying him in the sand did everybody exchanged a mischievous look and Yoongi repeated a “No” that started from a hoarse whisper until it turned into a scream.

“Oh come on, hyung. At least you don’t have to move, just like you love it!” Jimin said, giggling.

 

(And sure enough there was a pic of Yoongi buried in the sand with only his head and left leg that was wrapped in cast, sticking out from the ground in Seokjin’s camera)

 

((The behind the scene footage of the pic was filled with Yoongi’s curses, of course))

 

+.-.+

 

One of the most famous tourist attractions of Gangneung was the Gyeongpo Lake and Beach. The city was considered special for the access to both, especially the Gyeongpodae – a pavilion overlooking the Gyeongpo Lake – which was packed with tourist most of the time. They stayed on the beach for hours, Yoongi made sure that he hadn’t missed the sun setting on the horizon, seeing her usual scarlet-faced and orange-smiled paramore greeted him like always, peppering him with warm kisses of goodbye and promise of another that would follow as the stars took her place and they were parted once again.

“You know, it is said that ‘one can see the moon five times when at Gyeongpodae’,” Seokjin read from this tiny travel guide that he’d bought as they walked down the road, trying to find a place to have dinner in before heading back to the guesthouse.

“Too bad the Gyeongpodae is packed with tourist these days,” Jungkook said, pointing at the said pavilion that stood at the distance. They could see the hint of the red building with its old-styled roof and carving, standing by the edge of the beach. Even from the road they could see the lines of tourists as they walked towards the steps of the pavilion.

They decided to eat in one of the Gyeongpodae beach restaurant, spending extra money on meat before deciding to reduce to fast-food stuff on the next day as compensation. It was upon meat after meant and a couple of soju bottle did Taehyung ask again what the five moons were.

“’Once sees the moon once in the sky’,” Seokjin explained, repeating something that sounded more like a stanza from his small travel guide book.

“Of course it would be on the sky. How else could you see a moon anyway?” Namjoon interrupted.

(Yoongi could hear Taehyung whispered ‘you could see one on Namjoon’s butt’ at Hoseok from next to him)

“’Once reflected in the lake, once reflected in the sea’.”

“Okay, that was fair enough. Of course it would be a reflection,” this time Taehyung added.

“What’s the fourth?” Hoseok asked.

“’Once reflected in the drinking glass’,” Seokjin continued reading.

Yoongi scoffed. “That was too cliché. So you’re saying we have to bring a wine glass and see the moon reflected on it or something?”

Namjoon was about to take his guess on the fifth when his elbow accidentally knocked on Hoseok’s glass and it fell to the floor with a loud crashing noise. Everybody was silent, all eyes gazing upon Namjoon before they broke into a fit of laughter.

“Oh my god!” Yoongi screamed. “Even a basketball fucking deflated when it touched your hand.”

God of Destruction indeed, all of them said, even as one of the waitresses came towards them to complain and their poor leader had to stutter an apology and fished out more notes from his wallet to repay for the damage.

They didn’t drink that much but Seokjin had definitely passed out from mere drops soon after and Taehyung had started dancing on every pole that he found, recreating a Bollywood scene with Hoseok and disgustingly acted as if they were Romeo and Juliet or something after that. Dragging them all to the guesthouse, they decided to call it a night, the seven of them was more than ready to slip underneath their blanket and slept, regaining the energy they spent for the whole day frolicking under the sun.

In fact of course, Yoongi ended up having his eyes wide open in annoyance, sleep didn’t come so easily to him. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t written anything in his journal that night, it had become a habit each night he couldn’t sleep soundly without doing it, or the fact that Namjoon’s snore was deafening he honestly believed he thought about getting a knife and slicing the man’s throat. Groaning, he dragged his legs and stumbled towards his bag, taking out his notebook that he always brought with him everywhere and slipped behind the door, walking outside to get some air.

He walked passed the room and hallways until he found himself standing outside of the guesthouse on the verandah, the nightly sky greeted him. Smiling to himself he decided to sit on the bench, his notebook sprawled on his thigh when the door he just exited slid open again and a certain voice called out his name.

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

Turning his head around, he saw Jimin just by the door, peeking from inside.

“Can’t sleep.”

“It’s almost 2 in the morning,” the boy said.

“Yeah, I know. Can’t sleep. How you all could under Namjoon’s snore is beyond me,” he said.

“Well, Seokjin-hyung is out, Jungkook is a deep sleeper, and Taehyung had reminded me to bring earplugs.”

Yoongi cursed under his breath. Right. Earplugs. He should have remembered.

“Yah, just go to sleep already. I’ll go back when I’m finished,” he said, taking out the pen and focusing on his journal this time, thinking about a certain beautiful sunset and the ghost of fleeting summer.

Jimin didn’t answer and he decided to write something about ‘there are five moons reflecting on my eyes’ when he heard the door shifted, the boy had probably gone back inside. But no, Jimin walked out and stood in front of him instead, clearing his throat as if wanting to say something.

“What?” Yoongi said, raising his brows without taking his eyes off of his journal or even stop writing.

“Uhm, do you want to go-,” and he finally raised his head because what the boy was trying to say intrigue him. “-out instead?”

“Out?”

Jimin looked flushed.

“To Gyeongpodae, maybe? I mean it’s always packed with tourists during the day and evening. Maybe it’s empty right now?”

“Jimin, I think people don’t go to places like that in freaking 2 am in the morning for a reason,” he said.

“Well, we always go out at night in Yeoryang-myeon. And beside I think it’ll be fun,” Jimin said.

He couldn’t help but to think that the boy was harboring another sort of plan underneath all of this.

“This is not Yeoryang-myeon, Jimin,” he added, though he got to say that the idea seemed interesting enough for him. Maybe then he would have some inspiration for lyrics to write. Imagine that, sitting on the steps of Gyeongpodae, watching the night sky and the sound of crashing wave on his ear. On second thought, it was actually a great idea.

“Especially because this isn’t Yeoryang-myeon,” Jimin said, smiling at him.

He looked up at Jimin’s smile and he oddly remembered that night they raced down Jimin’s window and went stargazing on the school field out of his weird impulse. This was all too familiar already.

 

+.-.+

 

“See, hyung? This is indeed a great idea,” Jimin said.

Both of them were walking down the empty path of the road, the night sky hanging above their head. Yoongi lifted his head but found no stars scattered upon the black canvass like it always did in Yeoryang-myeon and found himself a bit disappointed. At least not as much or as beautiful as it was back in his small town. They walked slowly under the headlights, Jimin walking right next to him, mimicking his action with his head raised.

Just like Jimin had said it, Gyeongpodae was indeed empty, because certainly no tourist would ever venture to such place at two in the morning beside a couple of stupid teenagers like them. Jimin helped Yoongi got on the series of steps that led to the pavilion with his broken leg and all. The pavilion was dark with minimum light inside, not the best place to write, he realized, but outside of it just by the steps, he found that the night sky had given him enough illumination to write.

Frolicking inside of the pavilion until they had gotten bored of the place, the two of them sat by the steps just outside of the building. On their right they could see the ocean, stretching far behind, melting with the darkness. On their left was the Gyeongpo Lake, its water calm, a total contrast of the raging waves on their right.

Up there on the sky, the moon hung with its warm glow, its light shy compared to the sun. Sometimes the wind would blow and the cloud would warp itself around it, hiding it from view once again, as if a girl playing hide and seek, her smile rare but beautiful nonetheless. Just like hide and seek, she was hiding from the sun, the twinkling stars become her trails she left for her lover to follow until dawn came and he would finally find her once again, both lover briefly touched before they resumed their game once again.

He was back again, writing lyrical nonsense and rhyming words, his minds raging between the sky and the moon before Jimin called out his name again.

“Hey, hyung, look what I’ve found!” The boy had circled the pavilion and practically just checking the place out when he came back, sitting next to Yoongi with a bottle of water in his hand.

“It must have been someone else’s. Throw them away,” he said, stealing a glance before focusing back on his notebook, wondering why the boy took an already opened water bottle that should be discarded.

“No, it’s not that, hyung. Remember what Seokjin told us about the five moons?” Jimin said.

You could see five moons when you were in Gyeongpodae, he remembered Seokjin said.

“It’s just a myth. Something that they came up with to attract tourists,” he sneered.

Jimin puffed his cheek before placing the forgotten water bottle that boy had found god knows where and sat beside him in silence.

He was enjoying the moment, just like he always did when he was in Yeoryang-myeon when Jimin once again whispered.

“What’s the fifth?”

“What fifth?” he said, still jolting up words upon the paper.

“The moons. Seokjin-hyung said we could see five, but I’ve only seen four,” he said.

Yoongi lifted his head from his notebook and remembered Seokjin’s words, echoing in his head like a chant.

‘It is said that one can see the moon five times when at Gyeongpodae. One sees the moon once in the sky’

He raised his head and sure enough, there was the moon. They came at the perfect time of the month, the pregnant moon glowing brightly above their head, becoming more prominent upon the night sky.

‘Once reflected in the lake’

He turned his head towards the lake on his left and he could see it clearly, its light mirrored on the calm surface of the lake.

‘Once reflected in the sea’

On his right the sea was a bit different, the light a bit harder to catch from his eyes with the raging sea on top of it.

‘Once reflected in the drinking glass’

By that point he couldn’t really see the moon reflection on the puny imitation of a drinking glass that was the water bottle, but at least he could pretend that it was.

“What’s the fifth one again?” he asked to Jimin.

The boy shrugged. “I don’t know, Seokjin-hyung didn’t finish it.”

Yoongi scoffed. “I bet it’s some sappy stuff. Or maybe instead of a drinking glass we should bring a whole bucket of water for the fifth one.”

“I don’t know, I like the idea of the fifth moon being a door that leads to something.”

“You’ve definitely read too much science fiction.”

“What? I can’t imagine a Han Dynasty’s treasure hidden somewhere around the pavilion and could only be shown by the moonlight at certain time of certain year?”

Yoongi chuckled. “That’s national treasure kind of shit, dumbass.”

Jimin laughed and the boy glanced at the moon on the sky, seemingly thinking before he looked back at Yoongi. “But I don’t know, I want to believe that the fifth moon is something that’s actually there in front of my eyes already.”

In front of their eyes, hidden from anyone’s view but their own, all this time stood naked to the eye yet they just didn’t grasp it-, or yet they hadn’t.

They ended up talking about series of stupid possibilities about the fifth moon. They must have sat for a long time because of course they lost track of time again much like that day they ended up talking in front of Yoongi’s house until the sun rose. But this time it wasn’t the sun rising that got them going back. It was actually one of the place’s attendant, an old man that was supposedly tasked at guarding the place, realizing a figure of two teenagers frolicking around the tourist spot at an ungodly hour of a night. Of course the said man shooed them away, threatening to call the police on them if they were indeed vandalizing the place like the man suspected them to do. In the end Jimin laughed at that and dragged him away, giving him another piggyback while the two of them running away from the said old man, flailing his broom in the air to scare them away.

They reached the guesthouse not long after that and slept for a mere two hours before their friends woke up and dragged them this time to Ojukheon Museum in the morning, seeing old Korean houses and the Confucius School. Both Jimin and him walked like a corpse that day, Yoongi fell asleep when they decided to camp out near the lake on the evening, resting his head on Jimin’s lap. Night came and considering it would be the last night they spent before going back to Yeoryang-myeon, the seven of them went to Jeongdongjin Beach this time, a few kilometers outside of Gangneung to light up some fireworks. Yoongi watched as the kids played with it, drawing light figures on the night sky, flailing them around happily like toddlers. They all laughed upon Hoseok’s scream whenever the firecracker blew, the man covering his ear and jerking back in fear and shock each time.

They went back to the guesthouse, sleeping only for a few hours before this time Seokjin woke them up to see the rising sun. Most of them groaned but in the end they all woke up, dragging their tired feet and sleepy eyes to the beach right when the light was slowly seeping into the sky. And Yoongi witnessed the sun rising, lighting up the beach in such a wonderful way. There came the sun and both lover was finally in touch once again, kissing and hugging each other in their warm before the moon parted again from its embrace, the light of stars vanishing, shying away from the sun’s greater light. At that moment Yoongi’s heart oddly felt full as if he was ready to burst. He felt like everything was enough and the feeling itself was too peculiar to be described.

“It’s sad to think that this is our last year together,” Seokjin suddenly said.

That was the thing that the seven of them was trying to deny. This was indeed their last year together and after this no one knew what would happen. Their last summer before they all went their separate ways. They all went in silence, none of them reacting to Seokjin’s words. Yoongi just looked at the sky and thought about it all, about his uncertain future and that one dream of Seoul, somehow feeling farther and farther away from his reach. The other didn’t say another word but he bet that that sniff he heard was Hoseok’s.

“We have to go back one day,” their leader whispered as the seven of them sat upon the warm sand. “After everything, every five years, we have to make a promise and come back.”

There was some murmur and Jungkook raised his voice.

“To Gangneung again? Why not Jeju instead, hyung?” he joked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Seokjin said again. “Whether it be Yeoryang-myeon, or Gangneung, or Jeju, or Seoul, we had to find each other again after five years, and every five years after that and every five years after that.”

That was some melancholic shit, Yoongi wanted to say. He hated such thing the most, sappy things that got people tearing up. Jimin would undoubtedly be doing that, he thought, and he remembered how the boy had cried in happiness during his stupid initiation night by the hills. He turned his head towards the Park who was sitting right next to him and he didn’t see him crying. He was smiling warmly instead.

“It’s a promise then, hyung,” Taehyung said.

Hoseok snorted and answered with voice broken that he would never forget them all, that they would all be friends forever. Jungkook even said how he would miss them all after they graduated, and he lowly whispered how he was actually scared this whole time, realizing that he would be left alone. The sky was getting brighter and brighter as Taehyung pat Jungkook’s back and said how of course they wouldn’t forget about Jungkook, the elder promising that he wouldn’t leave Yeoryang-myeon before Jungkook graduated, and that got their youngest cracking into tears for the first time.

Everybody had their worries, he realized, with Jungkook afraid of being left alone, with Namjoon saying next how he wanted to go to Seoul but scared of his own decision, even to Seokjin who said that he had decided to stay in their small town after graduating but afraid of not feeling satisfied with it.

“I thought that I’m going to hate Yeoryang-myeon when I first came,” Jimin said next, his voice low at first. “After Seoul, I thought that my life is ruined. I nuh-never thought I would meet such nice fuh-friends like you guys,” he said, his voice slowly cracking at the end of the sentence. He was about to cry, Yoongi thought. He would cry once again.

But Jimin gulped after that, turning his face and looked at him in the eye before he smiled again, his eyes wet yet not a single tear ran down his cheek. At that moment he somehow knew and remembered what he had said back then in the classroom on the last day of school. That one look that Jimin gave him said, ‘I’m keeping my promise, hyung’. It said, ‘I’m not going to cry again’. He smiled at Jimin before grabbing him by the shoulder, pulling him closer.

It was another comfortable silence, the seven of them had their eyes fixed on the sun that was now higher above the horizon already by now, or at least that was what Yoongi thought them to be doing, because soon enough he realized that they were all looking at him instead, as if waiting for Yoongi to say another sappy word once again, completing their heart to heart confession.

“What?” he protested.

“Come on Yoongi. This isn’t complete without you,” Namjoon said, chuckling.

“You want me to say another sappy thing, aren’t you? No way, thanks. Min Yoongi doesn’t do feelings,” he said, sticking his tongue out.

The six of them whined, even Jimin giving him a small punch on his shoulder. Seokjin threatened him about telling the kids to throw him into the water if he didn’t and finally he gave up.

“All right, all right. You guys are the best thing that had ever happened to me. I love each one of you guys. There, I said it.”

“God, Yoongi. That’s so lame!” Namjoon protested.

“What? That’s the best I can do. You want me to shed a tear? Don’t even dream about it.”

“At least give him some credit on that. At least hyung got to say that he loved us when half the time I thought that he loathed us,” Jungkook said, joking.

“Well, don’t make me take my words,” he said.

“Awh, Min Yoongi confessing his love. You love me right, hyung?” Hoseok said, going up to him and wrapping his hand around his neck from behind. He wanted to say no, beat the man and took his earlier words because truthfully he was simply awful at feelings, but at least this time he could live it all for the sake of his friends.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you Jung Hoseok,” he said, tone sounding unamused, prying himself off of the man’s touch.

“Even me?” this time it was Taehyung’s voice, beaming with excitement. “Even Namjoon-hyung who’s practically responsible for our defeat in basketball?” (Namjoon yelled a ‘hey’ at that like always)

“Yeah, even you, Taehyung and especially even Namjoon.”

“What about me, hyung?” this time it was Jimin, still sitting next to him with his fingers raised, pointing at himself. There was a small pause and he didn’t know why he didn’t answer it straight away, why he spent a few moment thinking about the sky once again and the night they spent alone in Gyeongpodae. He didn’t know why he remembered that conversation, about seeing the five moons. “Do you love me?” the boy asked.

He blinked because for a second he swore to god he was seeing something else in front of him, not just a figure of Park Jimin smiling. For a second he thought that he was seeing the moon, and that was completely bizarre, considering that it was morning already and he wasn’t glancing up at the sky. He was simply looking at Park Jimin’s eyes, the boy seated on the beach with their friends around them, laughing and conversing. Yet for that tiniest fracture of a moment he thought about the moon and he saw it right in front of his eyes, reflecting itself on that brown iris that was looking right back at him.

“Yeah, I love you too Park Jimin.”

 

 

'It is said that one can see the moon five times when at Gyeongpodae.

One sees the moon once in the sky,

once reflected in the lake,

once reflected in the sea,

once reflected in the drinking glass,

and once more in the eyes of a lover.'

 

 

We made a promise of seeing each other every five years

And about promises-, the brat kept his.

 

 

Chapter Text

The doctor took off Yoongi’s cast a week after Gangneung and practically thanked all the walking he did and the stupid shenanigans that his friends pulled, he had to live with a slightly crooked leg for the rest of his life. Seokjin pointed out that at least he still got to play basketball and he just joked how he was thankful that Namjoon wasn’t the one taking care of him for he honestly believed it would only mess his legs up even more (he even joked that Namjoon would kill him with just a mere touch).

They played Basketball again and Yoongi joined in for the first time after getting the cast off of his leg, triumphing over the sensation of running with his own two feet again. Summer break was about to end and the seven of them tried their best to make up for the remaining time, going places, even spending a night at the Auraji train tunnel once again (and it was certainly a bad idea considering they all walked back the next morning with mosquito bite all over their skin).

Just like they had promised before, they spent one day with the girl from the Minju group, this time going to Chuncheon. Living in a small town with the mountain on view for the entire time, they definitely didn’t fancy places such as the Seoraksan or the Odaesan National Park, that were packed with tourist coming from the city on summer vacation. Quite the contrary, they ended up visiting towns, losing themselves in the midst of bustling city and crowded traffic. Yoongi could even admit that there was something dramatic about the dust hanging in the air and the sound of blaring siren that his ear could catch. Chuncheon could barely even offer that longing he'd been searching for, therefor convincing him that indeed his long-lost soul mate that awaited him would definitely be the beautiful capital of Seoul.

Getting to Chuncheon by train, he was grateful that he didn’t have to see the sight of his ridiculous friends playing makeshift swordplay with his crutches. That and with the existence of the girls, they pretty much contained most of their craziness inside, conversing with the girls instead, such thing as shame finally noticeable to them after a long period of craziness and pure idiocracy. Travelling with the girls turned out to be fun, since they packed more food than Seokjin could ever bring (and Yoongi would never refuse the offer of free food). Yujin gave him another bento box and they spent the train ride talking with each other, practically making fun of Seokjin and Minju who purposely sat a few rows ahead of them to do god knows what.

Seokjin practically glowed when they reached the Chuncheon Myeongdong Street; they had to drag him away from almost every food stall. The girls shopped and Namjoon shopped and Yoongi ended up telling the latter over and over again that all the clothes that he tried on were okay (Yujin joked that Namjoon was his girlfriend and he answered it with a scowl). They went to Namiseom after that, an island thirty minutes away from Chuncheon, looking up at the neatly lined trees. This time Yoongi had brought his camera along, taking pictures of the surroundings. He found himself more comfortable behind the lens than in front, not like Namjoon who this time enslaved Jimin to take a perfect picture of him and his new attire. Yujin asked him to take a picture of her and he gladly did so.

“Look at Seokjin-oppa and Minju-eonni,” she said, whispering at him once she asked to see her pictures.

Glancing towards the direction she pointed, sure enough he saw the two of them walking far ahead of them, though the linking hands were the one that caught his attention even more.

“Bet they’re going official by the start of school term,” Yoongi said, scoffing.

“Really? That long?” she teased.

“What? You’re thinking otherwise?”

“Tell you what Min Yoongi, I bet five thousand won that they would be official by tomorrow.”

He got to say that that was something about Yujin that he liked. He didn’t say that he like the girl in particular, but a girl confident enough to bet on something with him surely caught his attention. That or simply Yujin was the only other girl from Minju's group who seemed to be willing to talk with him more than the other.

“Make that ten thousand won and believe me, Seokjin-hyung wouldn’t have the courage to ask her out,” he said again, smirking.

Yujin answered him with a teasing wink before Namjoon called out his name again, supposedly being unsatisfied with the byproduct of the impromptu photographer Park Jimin who he claimed always missed the perfect frame by 5 centimeters to the right'.

The sun set as they rode the train back to Yeoryang-myeon, Yoongi spending it gazing at the orange sky like always, wondering how the wind outside would gently welcome him. Everyone was tired but they sure did have a good time, Namjoon satisfied with the amount of future pictures he would be able to post, Jungkook and Suji bonded closer than they had ever been, and Yuna shying under Namjoon’s compliment of her red converse that she chose to wear that day. Hoseok and Taehyung pulled out their disgusting act of lovers like always, not wanting to be left alone as even Jaein tried to start a conversation with the timid Jimin.

It wasn’t until they finally got off the train that the night had completely fallen and the road of their town was empty, did Namjoon finally make a cough and elbowed Taehyung, who in return yelled at Seokjin instead.

“Hey hyung, Namjoon-hyung is wondering why are you holding hand with Minju-noona!” he screamed loud enough for all of them to hear, making sure that they actually did.

All of them were actually just waiting for someone to point that out directly, with Yujin making an incoherent cough, Jungkook echoing her with a sneeze, Yuna giggling and elbowing Jaein next to her and Namjoon smacking Taehyung on the head for bringing his name in. Seokjin’s ear turned red right in that moment but he didn’t take Minju’s fingers off of his, instead he gripped them even tighter. Their eldest stuttered, face looking like a tomato, trying to make a coherent sentence before Minju smiled instead next to him and said, “What Seokjin’s trying to say is that we’re official.”

There was three seconds of silence (three seconds exactly because Yoongi counted in his heart) before they all erupted into words of congratulation, patting Seokjin’s back and teased him like crazy. They were making loud noises indeed, screaming in the middle of the empty road of Yeoryang-myeon, all the guys punching him on the shoulder.

“We never thought that you’d have the guts to ask her out!” Hoseok commented.

“For your information it was me who coaxed it out of him,” Minju added, sticking out her tongue.

“Well it's indeed about time because you two are so obvious,” said Namjoon. “We've grown sick of seeing you two being disgusting for each other.”

“Oh please, we're not being disgusting. Hoseok and Taehyung are the one being disgusting,” Minju said, sticking out her tongue before casually grabbing Seokjin's hand once again.

“We are disgusting and even though there's one official couple right now, we're still the most disgusting,” Taehyung said before making another repulsive act with Hoseok, Yoongi wished that he didn't even have something called eyes.

“Minju-noona and Seokjin-hyung are always obvious, actually. It was only just a matter of time,” Jungkook commented.

They were indeed. Minju visiting her little cousin Jungkook during basketball practice is just a made-up excuse. The two of them certainly suited one another. Their banter didn't stop, even as they walked down towards the road, all of them decided to have dinner at Seokjin's place like usual (or as Namjoon teased it, Seokjin couldn't wait to introduce his wife-to-be to his mother as soon as possible).

“But you know what, I'm not the only one being obvious,” chanted Minju.

It was complete silence for the boy but the girls just giggled, making incoherent noises and elbowing one another.

“Wait, what?” Namjoon said, realizing the hidden message behind Minju's sly smile.

“I'm just saying that we won't be the only couple here,” she teased.

Yoongi wasn't interested in who liked who. Namjoon was, especially, because he found such petty and childish thing like that interesting. But it was what Minju said next who intrigued him, with the girl turning around to face him exactly and added an, “Am I right, Yoongi?”

All eyes were turned towards him and he curved his eyebrows, wondering why Minju had to ask him out of all the people there.

“What? Of course you’re not,” he answered casually. “I mean we already got Taehyung and Hoseok here,” he added, shrugging.

Minju laughed at his answer and gave him one last sly smile that made him wonder what the girl could be hiding.

“Of course. Taehyung and Hoseok,” she added, though that smile certainly meant something more, something that Yoongi couldn't really tell.

 

+.-.+

 

Seokjin's mother was probably one of the best people that Yoongi ever knew, all because she was willing to feed six hungry stomachs for almost the entire week for free. She was always smiling and Seokjin had simply inherited that kindness. With the girls amongst them, they were indeed being way louder than usual and Seokjin's mother was even more than happy to welcome all of them.

Seokjin and Minju sat side by side and instead of an ordinary dinner, Yuna joked that this one felt like a wedding instead. They ate until they were full, conversation flowing out as easy as that and all in all Yoongi could say that they were having a great time.

It was somewhere between Jungkook telling them a ghost story to frighten Hoseok for dear life that Yujin who sat right next to him said that Yoongi owed her 10,000 won right now.

“You're definitely robbing me,” Yoongi joked.

“Well, I've offered you 5,000 won. You're the one who made it into 10,000,” she said.

“You're being too confident. You said that they were going to be official by tomorrow. Of course it would be impossible.”

“But I was right, wasn't I?”

And that was when Yoongi curved his eyebrow.

“You knew, didn't you?” he said.

Yujin's wide smile and her giggle was answer enough.

“You're cheating!”

“Minju told me about the news and I thought I was only going to rob 5,000 won from you, not 10,000,” she said in defense.

“Congratulation then, thief, you've managed to rob me of my money,” he said, smiling.

Yujin smiled to him and continued about how it wasn't his money that she wanted to steal. Her sentence was cut off by Hoseok's loud shriek like usual and all of them erupted in laughter. Yoongi was right. That day was wonderful. They all were having such a nice time. Seokjin ended up with Minju after years of being disgusting and obvious, Namjoon finally being content with the zillions of photos he got to take that day, and most of all, they were all laughing and conversing.

Or at least that was what Yoongi thought.

Because there was indeed one of them who didn't, who tried his best to stick a smile on his face, even though the rest of the day ended up being a torture more than he could ever expect it to be.

And of course, just like the initial smile, Yoongi missed this one as well.

(Because Yoongi never missed Jimin's cry. And if crying was everything about tears rolling down the cheek, then this was indeed far from it.

Though of course for Jimin, crying was the only thing that his heart could ever do, if a certain Min Yoongi was involved in it)

 

+.-.+

 

It was Sunday, which meant that the next day would be the exact translation of hell. Hell awaited him as the sun rose the next day, reminding him that school was indeed once again a vital part of his life. All that Yoongi wanted to do was to spend this last particular Sunday excluding anything about the verb moving. He would gladly hide himself under his pillow and blanket, dozing off for the entire day until his head hurt and hunger forced him to make a trip to the kitchen, grabbing anything edible that he could find to relieve himself of his suffering.

It was Sunday and Min fucking Yoongi deserved to have the sleep he'd been deprived of, all thanks to the stupid shenanigans that his friends had signed him up for. It was Sunday and instead, what woke him up was the knock on his door (for once it was a knock on his door, not a rock thrown towards his window).

Grumbling, Yoongi decided to act as if the persistent knocking was nothing but a mere dream, but alas whoever was standing behind the door was persistent enough to keep on banging his knuckles against the wood. Yoongi hoped that he could stand that knocking until the said person developed such thing as bruised knuckles.

“Yoongi, please. I need your help. This is your favorite hyung speaking,” the voice behind the door said.

Groaning, Yoongi dragged himself off his bed only to find Seokjin of all people, standing in front of his door with clothes too nice as if he was going out for a date or something.

“First of all, no, you're not my favorite hyung. Just because you're the only person old enough between our groups of friends doesn't make you my favorite hyung. Two, what are you doing here,” he said, ruffling the bird nest atop his head.

“I need your help, Yoongi. Can you please accompany me? Minju and I are going to go to Jeongseon to watch a movie today. Can you please, please, please come?”

Yoongi thought that he was indeed daydreaming because nothing that Seokjin said to him made any sense.

“What? Why do you need me to accompany you? You two can go alone.”

“Yeah we could, but this time I need you, Yoongi. I need a wingman.”

“That doesn't make any sense. You're already a couple anyway,” Yoongi said, turning around, closing the door in the process and practically rejecting Seokjin's ridiculous plea.

But of course Seokjin had to be completely ridiculous today for he stopped the door with his hand and once again begged Yoongi to go. There was indeed a reason why Min Yoongi was single, for he couldn't understand the mind of such people whose brain clouded with the thought of love. Normal people would want to go alone with their significant others but Kim Seokjin here was asking for his presence (that little voice in his head said that if he were the dirty-minded Namjoon, he would be suspicious that this so-called 'three person date' would turn into a threesome instead).

“Please, Yoongi. Just this time, okay. I need you.”

“No, hyung. Now go, I want to sleep,” he said with a scowl.

“Please. I'll cook you something for dinner.”

“No. Just go hyung, I-,”

“A week. I'll bring you a bento to school every day.”

“No one can stand the amount of sesame oil in your food, hyung.”

“A month! I'll cook you for an entire month!”

“You can't bribe me with food, hyung. I'm-,”

“Beef menu three days per week!”

 

+.-.+

 

If he were Superman, food would probably be his kryptonite. He ended up saying yes to Seokjin's offer, though he really didn't understand why the elder needed him for this so-called date. They ended up sitting on the train station, waiting for Minju to show up. He certainly didn't understand anything about this day, even as Seokjin bossed him around as he walked out of his room with a plain t-shirt and jeans, saying something about (you have to dress better). Yoongi was a person with zero fashion sense. Sometimes he hoped he could be as simple as Jungkook who just combined any colorful T-Shirt that he had with jeans.

It wasn't until a certain voice calling Seokjin out that Yoongi saw two certain figures closing in. It wasn't just Minju. Yujin was following her slowly from behind and Yoongi furrowed his brows. He didn't know that Yujin was going to come though it wouldn't make much difference anyway.

This time Seokjin and Minju acted like newlyweds instead of their regular disgusting self, leaving him alone with Yujin, all the while making him question why Seokjin needed him in the first place.

“You really came,” Yujin said next to him, seemingly beaming with happiness.

“No, I didn't come. You're not talking with Min Yoongi right now,” he joked.

“Very funny,” she answered as sarcasm.“Well, what can I say?” he shrugged. “Seokjin made an offer I can't refuse.”

"So you came here only for the food?" she teased him.

"Yeah of course. Why do you think I’m here anyway?" he said with a sly smile across his face.

There was cautiousness in Yujin's eyes, or at least it was something close to that. It flashed just so in her eyes but it turned into a smile instead afterwards, warm and gentle.

"I'm still glad you came," she said softly.

The rest of the day went out pretty much normal for him. The four of them ended up watching some movie and ate somewhere a bit fancy (his wallet definitely cried). With Seokjin acting like a husband for Minju he certainly questioned his role as (and he quoted once again) 'something that Seokjin needed'. Either way because of that he ended up talking with Yujin most of the time and the girl was looking happier than any other thing that entire day.

That strange day went just fine and by the time they arrived back at Yeoryang-myeon, Yoongi couldn't wait to faint on top of his bed. Minju and Seokjin took forever to say their goodbyes on the train station and Yoongi just tapped his feet in impatiently, saying how he was going to go alone if Seokjin didn't hurry his butt a bit.

Night had fallen and they went their separate ways, not before Minju waved at him and said how it was a nice 'double date' and how they should do it again next time. Finding himself being all alone after Seokjin waved him another goodbye, he sighed and raised his head up like always. The night sky awaited him like usual, being the only constant thing in his life that would never change. Everything could happen; he could have a shitty day or even a beautiful one, yet the sky would remain the same for him. A reassurance that tomorrow would always come, just like the stars up there would always be greeting him in this small town that he hated and loved.

He thought about writing all of it down on his notebook the moment he went home, contemplating as well how tomorrow school would start once again. He couldn't believe that half a year had passed already. Half a year of third grade, half a year of living in Yeoryang-myeon, half a year of the last part of his life. Half a year of being a child. Another half awaited him before he had to be a grown up. Another half a year walking home with the stars above his head, another half a year of basketball every Thursday, another half a year of laughter and idiocy, another half a year of-,

"Jimin?"

Yoongi was walking along the road like usual and the scene that awaited him right in front of his house was that of a Park Jimin, sitting on his curbs with face looking half asleep.

"What are you doing here?"

Jimin blinked before a smile spread across his face.

"I want to invite you to dinner. Halmeoni cooked more and she said it would be nice for me to invite you over," he said, getting up. "But you weren’t home the entire day."
Yoongi shrugged. Staying home for the entire day was exactly his initial plan before a certain Kim Seokjin and his ridiculous request ruined it.

"Where were you, hyung? I thought that you were going to be sleeping all day in your room," Jimin said whilst smiling. "I thought about annoying you. Maybe we could go watch the stars again tonight."

Jimin's smile. It's the kind of smile that he loved. The moment when the boy's eyes disappeared and everything about him just spoke happiness. It's the total opposite of his cries, for which Yoongi had been a witness for way too many times.

"Yeah, i wanted to at first, but i ended up going to town with Seokjin and Minju."

Jimin raised his eyebrow. "With Seokjin and Minju?"

"Yeah, Yujin was there as well," he answered nonchalantly.

Yoongi always liked Jimin's smile. That was maybe one of the reason why he hated seeing Jimin cried, simply because he looked so pathetic when he did so. Jimin smiling was entirely a different thing. A few seconds ago he was sporting that grin, that bright smile that reminded him of that particular summer day along the Auraji train track.
Yet it’s as if what he'd been seeing was something close to the blue sky of summer, this time it felt as if a storm just striked.

"Ah."

That was the only thing that Jimin said afterwards.

It was weird to define a smile, actually. It would only be the mouth forming a curve. Jimin's mouth was still doing the said thing, yet the smile had disappeared from it completely, eyes looking at Yoongi with hidden words the elder couldn't even understand.

"So it's a double date, then?" Jimin said again slowly, voice sounding cautious.

Yoongi curved his eyebrow.

"Nah, it's just Seokjin being a weirdo. He offered to cook for me for accompanying him today."

This time it was Jimin's expression that turned harsher somehow. The boy cast his eyes down once again, turning back to his long time lover, the ground.It irritated Yoongi somehow, because seconds ago he was looking at a smiling Park Jimin and right now he was looking back at that new brat Park Jimin who couldn't do anything in the first month of school but to look like such a depressed ball of tears.

"Hey, what's your problem?" he said, the annoyance in his tone being clear enough for Jimin.

He didn't know why he was angrier instead of sympathetic. Or at least he could ask Jimin like a normal person as to why he was sounding and looking so bothered right now for a reason he couldn't even understand.

"No, nothing," Jimin said, though his eyes were still glued to his own shoes.

"You're lying to me," he said, his mood turning sour easily and he didn't even bother to hide it.

And this time Jimin raised his head, looking straight into his eyes. He wasn't crying, wasn't even smiling. He just looked at him.

It was always on repeat, or at least it was always bordering that, something that was right at the tip of Jimin's tongue, something about Seoul that he was desperately trying to hide, though the boy certainly did one horrible of a job at that. Yoongi was simply there; still waiting for whatever it was, waiting until the said boy in front of him blew up at the end.

"I've always been lying to you," Jimin whispered.

Whether it was his to hear or not, Yoongi certainly didn't have any idea, though one thing was certain; he did hear it and it confused him even more. At the same time Jimin turned his heels, intending to run away from him, of course, and it made him angrier instead. Yoongi quickly grabbed Jimin's arm and held it tight before the boy got to react any further.

"Let me go!" Jimin yelled, though his face was looking at anything but Yoongi.

"And what? You're going to fucking cry again? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he screamed.

"Everything about me is wrong!"

He thought that Jimin was going to pull his arm away but instead he reached out towards Yoongi and pushed him hard on the shoulder, sending him tumbling onto the ground. He lost his balance and his back met the surface of the hard ground.

"What the fuck!" he screamed, his vision blurring for a split second from the shock with his newly repaired knees aching once again.

Jimin was still standing right in front of him, eyes looking at him with expression that spoke of sadness and frustration. He curled his fist so hard, his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath.

"I-,"

He was holding back his tears, Yoongi could tell. He was trying his best not to cry and he remembered the promise that the boy made instead. Jimin was trying to keep his promise, which was oddly the thing that crossed his mind.

"I hate you," Jimin said, his voice shaking.

"What?"

"Didn’t you hear what I said? I hate you, hyung," he said.

It didn't make sense. Everything with Jimin didn't make any sense at all.

"I hate how you spoke to me that day in the classroom. I hate how you keep on pestering me about why I cry. I hate how you were there when I was fighting with my parents."

None of it made any sense to Yoongi. Whether it was a lie or the truth, none of it served as an explanation as to why Jimin was now screaming right in front of him.

"I hate how I always went home with you right next to me. I hate riding the bicycles with you on my back. I hate sneaking out at the middle of the night to see the stars."

Half of his mind told him that it was a lie. Of course it was a lie.

(But which part of it, really?)

"I hate the way you always held your head up just to see the sky. I hate the way you always looked out for me."

Yet it could be everything about the truth, because it was indeed everything that he'd done. It was everything that he did out of impulse. It was everything that he did without any reason to it.

"I hate the way you laugh. I hate the way you smile. I hate the way you are always there right in front of me."

Jimin took a deep breath and he looked at him right in the eye, giving him silent words that he couldn't decipher, being forever as what he'd been feeling about Jimin. Jimin was simply everything that he couldn't understand.

"I really, really hate you, hyung."

And with that Jimin finally ran away, just minutes after he was doing nothing but smiling at him, inviting him to another night of random talk and starry sky. He ran away just like that, leaving a puzzled Yoongi who couldn't process anything but the fact that the Park Jimin whom he already knew for half a year really despised him for all this time. Yet at the same time, as he got up and walked back towards his bedroom with a confused mind and an oddly aching heart, there was something else that was being more clear to him than the hatred that Jimin had been harboring for him. Past the words that he uttered, the hatred that he claimed to harbor and the confusion that haunted him, Jimin was still keeping his promise.

Because at the end of the day Yoongi didn't see a single tear and that was oddly the single thing that haunted him through the night.

 

 

The brat said that he hated me. He said that he really, really hated me.

 

 

Chapter Text

When Park Jimin said that he hated him, the boy had made it appear actually true, for avoiding him was the first thing that the said boy did the next morning as the new semester started. For once he didn't sit right behind him, going as far as changing seat with Ikje (though the said action irritated him even to more extent since he hated Ikje's guts from time to time). The said boy was even missing in recess, though the others had simply shrugged their shoulder when Taehyung ended up asking and running away to find the brooding boy in the end.

And still Yoongi found himself remembering the things that Jimin said to him, one that didn't make any sense at all. Everything started with a simple conversation of the reason behind his disappearance that day before it turned into Jimin confessing his long-hidden hatred for him.

He found it to be nothing but a lie. But then again, as ridiculous as it sounded to his ear, Jimin's expression bothered him that much, leaving him feeling somehow responsible for whatever it was that made the said boy looked as if he was tearing his heart open right there with a dagger in his hand.

Jimin practically disappeared from his view for the entire day and not until he needed to get home does he realize that gnawing in his chest, something that felt entirely wrong. It was a missing piece at the sky or the blue just didn't seem to feel right, as he walked down the road of Yeoryang-myeon alone without a certain figure of someone by his side.

The boy hated how they always came home together after school, he said, hated how he rode the bicycle with Yoongi on his back.

He hated how Yoongi talked to him back then in the classroom.

Or even as Jimin poured his eyes out in front of him after the fight with his parents.

And if hate was everything that Jimin had, he would probably hate the time they spent in Gyeongpodae. He would probably hate every elbow grazing and knees touching every basketball practice. He would probably hate every fucking minute of the lesson, boring his eyes into the very skull of Min Yoongi who sat in front of him for almost half a year.

Yoongi was anything but dumb and that night, as he wrote in his notebook about comparing Jimins's so-called hatred with what he had for the binding life and abhorrent town of his, he could only believe that it was nothing but a lie.


(But if Min Yoongi was even a tad bit smarter, he would also realize that just as much as he despised the town that he ironically loved the most, what Jimin had for him was everything but a lie).


+.-.+


Even if Yoongi was convinced that what Jimin said to him was a lie, the said boy didn't make it easy for him to even start a conversation, converting back to that cocoon of utter depression, refusing to make eye contact with him of all people. He turned into a turtle who was so good at disappearing, Yoongi couldn't find him the next day even though he was convinced that Jimin was still attending school. It irritated him to the point he put on a scowl on his face for the entire day (and according to Namjoon, the juniors had started yet another rumor of Yoongi the Medussa who could kill anyone with just his gaze).

"Seriously, who are you trying to kill?" Namjoon teased him during recess, the two of them ended up spending their time alone. Seokjin was with Minju doing god knows what. Hoseok was out in the bathroom (something about drinking the wrong milk). Jungkook was probably studying in the classroom and Taehyung was probably pulling another stupid antic for their poor homeroom teacher.

"No one, and that's the most ridiculous rumor I've ever heard to this day," he said.

"You said the same thing about the rumor that Mrs. Oh had an eye behind her head."

"Well, both of them are stupid rumors and I'm clearly not in the mood for anything stupid," Yoongi said, sighing.

"But you are clearly in a certain mood and I can tell what it is," Namjoon said before stretching his body and yawned. Seemed like the younger had decided to sleep his way there and skipped the next lesson. "You're irritated."

Yoongi curved his eyebrow. He was waiting for such mood like anger or down-right rage, but not something as simple as being irritated. Calling it as irritation had simply-, downgraded it.

"How could you say that? I was actually waiting for something like pure resentment."

"Nah, you do look like you're about to kill someone, but you're looking more irritated. In fact I don't really think that you're in the mood of obliterating a certain entity from the face of this earth."

A certain entity, Namjoon said, and he thought directly about Jimin and that look in his eye, that desperation that didn't speak about hatred at all. It was regret and fear and even frustration, but it wasn't hatred. Yet the boy tried his best right now to avoid him like a plague and it didn't help but confuse Yoongi right now.

"You're irritated about something. What is it? Yujin finally getting in your head?"

That got him furrowing his eyebrow even more, the randomness of Yujin's name in their conversation finally being the one thing that irritated him.

"What? Yujin? Why are you even mentioning her name right now?"

Namjoon sport a smirk and now Yoongi could definitely say that he was indeed irritated.

"Someone told me you two spend some time together in Jeongseon last sunday," he said, making wriggling brows and such ridiculous smirk all he wanted to do was to wipe it all off with a smack to the face.

"Someone told me that you're a complete ass who meddles with someone else's business," Yoongi said, lifting his fist in a playful manner. "Anyway, Seokjin-hyung and MInju were there. I was only doing what Seokjin-hyung asked me to do. It wasn't anything special."

It was a strange day nonetheless, but what happened afterward troubled his minds more than the stupid movies they had watched that day or the way Seokjin and Minju always ridiculously walked ten steps ahead, as if wanting to leave the both of them together. It was coming home and finding a smiling Jimin before it turned into everything that spoke of depression in matter of seconds that made it even weirder.

"It wasn't anything special?" Namjoon repeated, emphasizing his words. "You know what, Min Yoongi, sometimes you really are stupid."

"Hey, what was that for?" he protested, this time kicking Namjoon on the shin. "You know what, now I really do feel irritated by a certain Kim Namjoon whose existence I'll be more than happy to obliterate from the face of this earth," he said, fisting his palm and making another makeshift threat.

Even though Namjoon was an ass, he had indeed proven himself countless time to be his best friend in a way.


(Like his punching bag, from time to time)

+.-.+


Second day of school went by really slow. He didn't know whether every teacher just made up their mind to torture all of them or the clock that hung by the wall was indeed broken. Everything was so slow and Yoongi couldn't help but to realize the same troubling feeling that had been haunting him since yesterday. 'His back was itching' was the term he used to describe the feeling. Either he was bothered with the fact that Jimin was not sitting behind him like usual or he just despised Ikje's existence that much that turning around and not finding the former face seemed really wrong.

But sometimes in the middle of history he did turn his head around, his head kept on repeating how weird it was to find Ikje raising his brow with a confused expression painted across his face instead of a smiling Park Jimin who was in the middle of scribbling another stupid doodle with Taehyung as his seatmate.

So this time he turned his head towards the other end of the classroom, exactly where Jimin sat right now, only to find another two familiar irises, looking back at his in the same manner.

"Mr. Min, please have your eyes on the textbook, or maybe you'll care to share us about something interesting that you've found?"

He turned his head around to see Mrs. Oh staring at him. At that point he was certain that Min Yoongi was her least favorite student out of the 30 poor souls that had to withstand her tedious lecture.

'There are thousands of other things more interesting than your lecture. Your horrible face, for example,' was something that he wanted to utter, though his silence was answer enough.


For saying that how Park Jimin who hated him was undoubtedly looking at him during the lecture was something undeniably unimportant.

Of course it wasn't.

That tiny seconds of locking eyes was undeniably unimportant.

That fracture of a second that spoke of everything but hatred.


+.-.+


Yoongi didn't come home directly that day, getting caught up in a conversation with Yujin who definitely flashed him more smiles since that trip to Jeongseon. Some of the girls from her groups giggled as they walked pass the two of them talking, Yuna even gave him a smack on the shoulder though he certainly didn't understand what that meant.

"Are you going home?" Yujin asked when the two of them realized that the crowds were thinning and the school was going to be abandoned in a few minutes. The thing about schools in such a small town like Yeoryang-myeon was how the students tend to leave the building faster, already having places somewhere else in the city for them to linger after lesson. His group were the only one who stayed longer, most of the time occupying the gym for basketball practice more than ever.

"We can go home together," she said.

Yujin's home was closer to his from the school. He didn't really pass it everyday but he could if he chose another winding path that cost him another 10 minutes extra. But then again, everything in this town was did by walking, so of course he wouldn't mind doing just that.

He should have answered with a 'why not' and just went home. Her house wasn't exactly next to his. Or at least not as close as someone with whom he'd been going home together with for almost half a year, someone who was supposed to be here waiting for him at the gate instead of Jung Yujin with an equally bright smile but not quite at the same time.

"I'm sorry, i forgot something at the classroom. I have to get back," is what he said instead, his heels already turning.

"I can wait for you," she said.

It wouldn't take long. He would just run to the classroom, get whatever it was that he just left behind (his notebook, probably and most likely, even though he didn't even know whether he did leave it behind or not) and ran back to the school gate where Yujin would be waiting for him. But then again-,

"Nah, it's okay. You can go back home first. It'll be faster for you than to wait for me," he said, his body was already turning before he darted towards the classroom.

Why was he going back to the classroom of all places? He was certain his notebook was stored safely inside of his backpack. He was certain that no one would be there. What greeted him would be an empty classroom. He wouldn't want to go back to find a certain someone staining the desk with their tears, would he? Then again a little part of him hoped that he would, only so he could speak to him.

Only so he could say how he was sick of him acting weird. Only so he could say how everything about that hatred thing was nothing but bull and utter crap. Only so he could say how every walk back home felt wrong, even if someone else would be there walking right next to him.

He didn't even realize that he was running. The school was already empty and it reminded him awfully to that day, that time when he walked back to the classroom, just wanting to make sure that the pathetic boy that he somehow despised so much wouldn't be sobbing in it under a horrible excuse of leaving something behind. That day as Jimin rode behind his bicycles for the first time.That day as he made it clear as day that he didn't care for the boy at all (and he still did. What he'd done was nothing but for his own pleasure of not seeing more tears that was the one single thing that he resented the most).

The first thing that caught his eyes as he neared the classroom was indeed Park Jimin and his heart leapt with reason he certainly couldn't understand. At least he was gladful that he didn't open the door right at that moment for his heart sank at the next upon realizing that Jimin wasn't alone inside the classroom. Through the glass door he could see Jimin sitting on his old seat with someone else beside him.

Of all people it was Taehyung that sat there next to Jimin, one arm slung across Jimin's back, patting his seatmate as the latter had his head rested on the former's shoulder. It was indeed a weird scene. Why was Taehyung there? What were the two of them doing?

And most of all, was Jimin crying? Did he break his promise? Was his shoulder shaking and his sobs echoing through the room? Was he crying as hard as the time when he fought with his parents?

He should have just walked inside of the classroom. He should have grabbed Jimin's shoulder tight and shook him until he spilled everything that he kept inside his throat, words that were just right at the tip of his tongue. He should have just asked for an explanation because after everything that happened he definitely deserved one.

Then again his heels were turning themselves automatically. He found himself running farther away from Jimin, realizing that Taehyung was there with him, comforting him in a way that Yoongi probably couldn't. He found himself running back to the school gate again, burrowing his brows as he saw a familiar figure, still standing there by it, waiting for him, even when he had said for her not to.

"You've got what you've been forgetting?"

"I thought I've told you to go back home first," he replied as he jogged his way towards her.

Yujin let out a smirk before she answered. "I'm not that easy for you to cast away," she said in a playful manner.

He couldn't help but to smile with her. Funny. He once thought that Yujin was easy to cast away. He had refused her offer once and she did leave. Yet here she was standing, remonstrating his initial thought entirely.

"So, should we go now?" she said, hands on the straddle of her backpack, ready to walk home. "Did you already get what you've forgotten?" she asked again.

Did he get what he run back for? Did he get his explanation, the relief from the gnawing feeling of his chest whenever he realized that Park Jimin was missing from his life with reason he couldn't understand?


"Yeah, kind of. Let's go home now," he said, sporting a grin which she returned with a warm, beautiful smile.



I came home with Yujin today instead.

 

 

+.-.+

 

 

It’s Thursday and Jimin had even decided not to come to basketball. The six of them played like usual, though this time the girls decided to hang around. A suggestion from Yuna got the girls trying to play alongside them. They ended up four against four, with each team consisting of two girls. Seokjin as always had to be disgusting as he went against Minju from the opposing team and ended up hugging her from behind and hauled her up as he tried to steal the ball. Yujin was in the same team as he was and she put up quite of a fight, though Yuna topped all of them.

They went to the minimarket after the game this time, all of them laughing and being happy with the dusk hanging above their heads. It was another great day like always, his Thursday always being the day he loved the most from the entire week. He ended up walking home once again with Yujin right next to him, the two of them talking about how stupid Namjoon was during another attempt of a slam dunk from their earlier game.

It was a great day nonetheless, yet as he waved his hand and saw Yujin's figure dwindled into the horizon, he realized how his Thursday was lacking a certain something that made even the brightest star seemed dull. He raised his head, hoping that the night sky would be able to console him.

What they did was reminding him to the day he spent it stargazing with Jimin, emphasizing what he was missing instead.


+.-.+


It was Friday and it meant that Jimin had been giving him this silent treatment for almost an entire week. It wasn't like he was avoiding the boy. It was Jimin who tried his best not to talk to him. He wasn't with their groups when they were spending their time together. Jimin was not even there on recess. Another thing that he realized was how Taehyung would take another leave of absence together with him. Even during lesson he could tell that the two of them were skipping together since the only empty seats were theirs.

"Is it just me or is Jimin avoiding us?" he finally asked on recess to Namjoon, the two of them once again being alone on their usual spot.

"Avoiding us? Nah, I don't think so. He said hi to me this morning and he looked just fine."

He didn't know whether Namjoon was being the stupid one here or he was, since Park Jimin was far from the word fine.

"You're sure?"

"He was just busy yesterday, calling his parents or something, he said to me. He wasn't avoiding us. He went to Taehyung's place with Jungkook the other day as well or so I've heard."

So Park Jimin had been spending his time with Taehyung indeed.

"Why? Was he avoiding you?" Namjoon asked.

And now he realized that he shouldn't have asked since Namjoon would be persistent and he certainly didn't like it when the so-called monster of destruction stuck his nose in his business. He didn't need any more damage.

"Nah, forget it," he said. He didn't feel like telling Namjoon what happened. It would be weird and he doubted that his best friend could help him after all.

"You two are fighting or something?"

"No," he said, though he didn't really know whether what they were having right now would be defined as a fight.

Turned out his uncertainty was apparent through his tone, for Namjoon ended up pestering him like he was initially afraid he would.

"Oh, come on. What is it?"

That brat told me that he hated me which is an absolute lie before he avoided me like a plague. I don't even understand what he wants.

"I've told you, nothing!" he said, standing up, feeling irritated and annoyed at the same time he didn't even realize his tone was raising.

Because at least it was Yoongi who would think that nothing happened between them. Were they fighting? At least in Yoongi's part he didn't have a reason to. He didn't have any reason to say that he hated Jimin either. Then here came the boy he had known for almost half a year, showering him with bullshit that didn't make any sense. If Namjoon wanted to know what the fuck was going on, he could easily ask Jimin because that brat was the one who made all this mess up, not him.

"Hey, there's no need for you to get mad," Namjoon said, his voice cautious, catching up to Yoongi's apparent change of mood. "I'm just asking."

Yoongi inhaled deeply before burrowing his own face in his palm. He suddenly got this rush to have a cigarette resting between his finger even though he actually hated it. It messed with his lungs and as a basketball player who for once cared about how long his performance on the field would be, smoking was something he actually tried to avoid.

Only now did he realize how bothered he was by the fact that Park Jimin hated him. It shouldn't have bothered him. Anybody could hate him for all he cared with all the fucking reasons in this universe. But no, it had to be Park Jimin who did, even with reasons he couldn't accept.

He should have been fine with it then, shouldn't he? It was Jimin's decision to avoid him, to hate him or to loathe him. He shouldn't give a flying fuck.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," he said, exhaling before walking down the stairs, leaving a baffled Namjoon alone.

The teachers could brand him as a delinquents, his father could be a complete fool and even the juniors could fear him as much as they want. Min Yoongi shouldn't be giving any fuck or shit whatsoever.Therefore what would a certain Park Jimin hating him equaled to? Absolutely nothing.

"Are you all right, hyung?" the younger asked.

All right? Of course he was. That was a stupid question. Why would he be not all right? Because Park fucking Jimin treated him like a stranger? No, he wouldn't have any problem with it then, if that was what the brat decided to do.

"Yeah, of course I'm all right. Why would i not be?"

Namjoon's face indicated that he was going to retort that, though at the end he closed his mouth, which Yoongi was grateful he did. Sighing, he turned around, realizing that he desperately needed something to ease his mood.

"Where are you going, hyung?" Namjoon asked, though he gave no indication of following him.

"I need a smoke."

"But you don't really smoke," the other said, as if reminding Yoongi that what he was doing was indeed something that he usually not, that he was indeed not himself that day.

"Exactly."


+.-.+


He thought about going to the hill alone on Saturday with nothing but his notebook and maybe half a pack of cigarettes. Instead, what changed his mind was a last minute promise as Yujin was about to turn her back and entered her house on Friday after their walk back from school.

It was the only reason how he found himself sitting in front of a smiling Jung Yujin in a certain restaurant near Auraji Station which people deemed to sell the best Jajjangmyeon in town. This time there were only the two of them with no Seokjin or Minju whatsoever and Yujin smiled even wider than usual.

It was dusk when they walked back from the restaurant, the two of them spending times there talking about various topics which Yoongi couldn't even remember. He raised his head again even without him realizing as the two of them fell into comfortable silence, the girl just walking right next to him, supposedly having her eyes on him. It was another fusion of lilac and pink today, the darkness slowly creeping with hints of stars making its appearance, stealing the sun's lights away, giving room for its predecessor to fill the sky with yet another beauty that Yoongi wouldn't run out of words to describe.

"You know, I've been thinking about going to Chuncheon to study singing in an academy. Or maybe I should try applying to K-Arts instead," she said, breaking the initial silence.

"You sing?" he said absentmindedly.

Yoongi took his eyes off the sky for a split second only to find Yujin answering him with a pout. "Yeah, of course I do. How could you even forget it? I've shown it to you once."

He clearly had forgotten about it though he answered it with a simple 'yeah right' before raising his head back to the lilac clouds hanging above his head. He wasn't the best in details about other people, that much was clear.

"Oh, come on Yoongi. Do you even remember any details about me?" she joked.

"Like what color do you like or what your favorite drink is?" he said with a playful tone, intending it to be a joke since he clearly didn't remember if she ever had mentioned it once before (and for his own safety from the so-called woman's rage, he hoped she hadn't).

"Like i know that you really love looking at the sky," she said, the words coming out more like a whisper. "You're doing it even now," she added again with a small laugh.

Somehow, something churned in his stomach right then because he felt like he had had this conversation before. Someone had said the same thing to him.

"You always held your head up whenever we went back from school."

Yeah, indeed he had. The sky would be lucky, someone had said, to be loved and missed by a certain entity that was bound to the ground, destined to do nothing but to watch his lover out of his reach every single day. Yet even if that was the only thing that he could do, he never failed his paramour even for a single day, for he kept on doing the only thing that he could, keeping his eyes on her lover the entire day. He simply answered Yujin's words with a hum.

"It's hard not to realize, you know, that simple habit of yours," she said with a giggle at the end.

That was when Yoongi took his eyes off the sky, stopping his pace and turning his head to take a good look at the person right next to him, the person who was currently walking home beside him. It was Jung Yujin, wasn't it? It was Jung Yujin and no one else.

Yet someone entirely different from the girl right next to him had said the same thing about how lucky the sky would be to receive that longing gaze from him each day. Someone entirely different that didn't hold such a smile from the girl, someone with whom he spent his night lying on the school field in the middle of the night.

"Now, do you remember any small details about me?" she said, laughing.

Her words echoed in his head and he just stood there, taking a good look at the person right next to him. He just blinked and it was the sky once again.


You used to dance back in Seoul .


.


The brat could hate me for all he cared. I don't give a fuck.

 

 

Chapter Text

In the end it did become apparent that Jimin was avoiding Yoongi and how the latter ended up with such a killer intent reflecting before his eyes that people started to ask him once again. It felt quite nostalgic at one point, Yoongi had to admit, because it felt like going back to the days when he first met Park Jimin.

It was Seokjin who asked him first, wondering whether the two of them were fighting with a kind voice, in which Yoongi answered with another raising tone of 'why don't you ask that brat instead of me?' Situation became a bit tensed between them because Yoongi did end up glaring whenever he came across Park Jimin, the said boy laughing along with Taehyung before he abruptly stopped and diverted his gaze to the floor.

He went home with Yujin almost every day since then, even during times when Yoongi was bringing his bicycles to the school. The girl sat at the backseat, expressing her worry about entrusting her life on Yoongi's hands. He put on a sly smile and rode the bicycle even faster, scaring her as she ended up yelling and punching Yoongi on the shoulder.

And oddly, even as he went back home, he couldn't stop his mind from comparing how lighter each pedal was and how wrong it felt.

It was that one time as he walked towards the school gate after the lesson was over, greeting Yujin who'd been waiting for him at her usual spot with a smile across her face, did he see Jimin at the other end of it with Taehyung beside him. A split second was all that it took, as Jimin glanced at him, accidentally making eye contact. It was only a split second and of course that despair in the boy's eyes followed soon after before those irises were once again out of sight. Yoongi didn't know why rage bubbled at the pit of his stomach right at that moment, his fist curled tight as Jimin ran away like he always did, dragging Taehyung behind him.

That Thursday the absence of Park Jimin on basketball wasn't something surprising anymore. The others didn't ask as well, though the curious look that the others kept on giving him certainly didn't make him feel any better.

In the end it was Hoseok who stuck his nose into this situation and asked him during his usual three-pointer drill, wondering once again whether he was having a problem with the missing Park.

"For christ sake, I don't!" he said in the middle of shooting. He wasn't surprised to find the ball missing its mark, bouncing of the newly-repaired ring instead (because the last one was broken from Namjoon's usual and unbelievable magic of destruction, as always).

Hoseok who stood closer to the ball managed to grab it with one swift movement before the ball drift off any further and passed it back to Yoongi. "Don't get me wrong, hyung, but you seem troubled by it."

Yoongi clicked his tongue, this time dribbling the ball a few times on the ground before shooting another three-pointer and failing miserably once again. The failure and the topic of conversation certainly didn't do any good to his mood.

"I'm not the one having a problem," he said again, this time running for the ball himself. Conversation in midst of heaving breath and concertration was definitely not his favorite. "Why don't you-," he ran back to his starting point before turning around with one swift motion and shot once again, "-ask the brat himself."

This time the ball did get through the hoop. One in three tries? That was bad for his standard.

"He's the one who come up to my face and said that he fucking hated me," Yoongi said, wiping the sweats on his forehead, massaging his leg at the same time. The newly healed knee didn't feel quite the same as it used to be with how it was a bit aching after a few hours of contstant training and jumping right now. Either recovery was indeed a long winding path or he should have sued his doctor instead.

"Jimin did what?" Hoseok said, coming up to his face, being a good friend and passing him a water bottle.

"He came up to my face and just said that he fucking hated my guts. The brat had been the one avoiding me ever since," he said, receiving the water bottle before splashing the content on his face instead of gulping it down his dry throat.

"Jimin hates you?"

"That's what he said."

"He hates you? Really?" Hoseok chuckled before continuing. "Half of the time I thought Jimin was in love with you or something."

Yoongi furrowed his brows. Yeah right, in love. What a big joke.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You two are always together or at least Jimin used to look so happy around you," Hoseok answered.

Such an explanation, Yoongi thought sarcastically. And did the brat really look happy around him? He didn't even notice.

"And most of all, he didn't even look like he hated you at all, if that is the case."

Which was Yoongi's arguments exactly.

"You, on the other hand, hyung, had that face exactly," this time it was Namjoon who said it, joining their conversation abruptly, announcing his existence by slinging his arm across Yoongi's shoulder from behind. The man must be eavesdropping to their conversation.

"What?" he protested, this time throwing the basketball over his shoulder purposely to hit Namjoon on the head for his sudden interference. This was exactly what he hated as well, how people misunderstood him and easily made him the Maleficent when all he did was nothing but be the good fairy god mother or some shit like that. "I don't hate him or anything. He could hate me for all he cared and I wouldn't give a shit."

That was when he decided that the combination of Namjoon's sly smile and Hoseok's playful yet annoying grin was one of the thing that he hated in this universe.

"You do give a shit, hyung," Namjoon said.

In the back of his mind he had to remind himself not to lift his fist and wipe that smile off of Namjoon's face. Then again if it wasn't Namjoon who spoke these words, he thought that he would do just that.

"You just don't want to admit it."


+.-.+


With September closing in, autumn was dawning upon them. Winter would follow soon after and before he knew it, January would come before Suneung threatened all the 3rd year student with a gun on their head. In Yoongi's case, the gun towards his temple was his father's words and each day the look that the older Min gave him became more and more obvious, he couldn't hide under the false pretense of not having any appetite on every dinner just to avoid what he would call 'the talk'. Yoongi was still persistent with his decision, going to Seoul and never looking back, even if that would mean running away from his family's house and being homeless for all he cared.

At least for once both him and his parents were occupied with the thought of Suneung, the biggest elephant in the room currently being cornered to make room for the upcoming exam that would drive any other students crazy.

Yet in the midst of studying and future concerns, he still got the time to sit in front of his opened journal every day, thinking about a certain boy who was being a complete and total asshole. Jimin just stopped speaking to him altogether, sticking around with Taehyung and running away from him. One time he caught the boy laughing aloud with their group before the younger realized his presence and shut his mouth completely, as if laughing in front of him was a total crime of its own. When their groups hung out on their usual spot by the stairs, it was either Yoongi who was missing or Jimin. The two of them were never there at the same time.

To make matters worse, everyone thought that it was Yoongi who was having a problem with Jimin, not the other way around. Even as much as he had explained it, everyone would always think that he was the embodiment of maleficent or something close whereas Jimin would remain as the innocent damsel in distress. Taehyung would probably be his prince charming, since the two of them were conjoined at the hips right now.

"You should talk to him," was something that Yujin suddenly said as they walked back from school one day, the sky looking grey and somber. Summer rain was one of the thing that Yoongi loved the most, even with the sky looking dark and sad, he still found it beautiful. That was the reason why he could say that the sky was his one and only true love, for he could always love it in whichever state it was. Beautiful would always remain the adjective he used to describe it.

"What? Talk to who?" he asked, taking his gaze off the sky to glance at Yujin.

"To Jimin," she simply said.

It felt like being punched in the stomach, or at least he was weirded out by it, since how and why would the girl mention that name right now. If it were his group of friends who did, he wouldn't have any problem.

"Why?"

"You two are fighting, aren't you?" she said cautiously, being careful as if the topic was taboo or anything.

Yoongi sighed before ruffling his own hair. Not Yujin as well. Did the whole school know about their so-called 'fight' at this point? Did it even that big of a topic? Did he have a big flashing neon sign across his forehead that said 'look, i'm fighting with Park Jimin'? Most of all, was it that obvious, that indeed Jimin was avoiding him?

"No, we're not fighting," he said, though in the back of his mind he still didn't know what to put this all into. "And why are you even asking? No, wait a minute. Why the heck does everybody ask me about this? Do we look like we're fighting?"

"Well, if you did, it was indeed obvious," she said. Yoongi felt like facepalming his face right now. Here he was deciding not to give a shit and yet everyone kept on asking him about the same topic over and over again. "You two are always together. You used to come home everyday together and it's hard not to notice that you two just stopped."

Yujin let out a small smile, looking at the sombre sky in something that could only be categorized as sadness before she continued. "I mean, after all, if it weren't for you guys fighting, maybe i wouldn't be able to go home together with you."

Something churned in his stomach as Yujin said the words. It sounded wrong yet it was everything but the truth. That and also how Yujin did realize the fact. There was an apparent sadness flashing across her face before she swallowed it up again, replacing it with a big smile. "But I still wish that you guys would make up," she added as she turned her head towards Yoongi.

Jimin could have the rainy sky painted across his face and be obvious about it. Yujin could have the storm and lightning flashing and let the cloud clear it up under the false pretense of a sunny sky in seconds. Jimin was everything obvious about what he was feeling, yet Yujin controlled the weather as easy as a flipping the back of her hand. It was weird to find how the two of them were very different. It was weirder to find himself comparing the two together.

"He avoided me like the plague though," he said, remembering how Jimin always ran away from him almost all the time it started to annoy him indeed to such an extent.

"Well, it wouldn't stop you now, would it?" Yujin simply said with such a smile.

And at that moment, Yoongi could swear he see a glimpse of the blue sky in the midst of the grey. He just couldn't tell where he was seeing it from, whether it was from the sky hanging above his head or the reflection from two pair of irises, looking back at his.


+ .-. +


It was a Thursday and it was the last day of August, their group supposedly spending their time with basketball like always, not to mention with the dark sky looming above them. The sky was already dark, even as Yoongi walked out of his house in the morning, he started to wonder whether a storm would be coming. Everyone was just waiting for the rain to fall, hoping that it wouldn't before the school ended so that they could still run all the way home, tuck themselves under their blanket and have a good nap in such a nice weather. At least that was what Yoongi had in mind.

The first drops of rain fell a few minutes after the last bell rang, the students ended up running with their bag on top of their head. Some who already brought an umbrella before were lucky enough to walk leisurely, huddled together under the safety of it. Some just ran or ended up playing underneath the heavy rain just like they used to do as kids.

Yoongi should have been going to basketball practice with the others when he realized that he simply wasn’t in the mood for it, opting to just go back home as soon as the rain thinned out and passed out on top of his bed. Maybe he would simply wait until some of the other student have a spare umbrella to share for he wouldn't risk drenching his school uniform and all of his book in the process. Yujin had unfortunately went home with the other girls, thinking that Yoongi wouldn't leave the school until late after the practice as usual.

The school was almost empty as he walked towards the school gate, walking leisurely, letting the rhythmic sound of the rain played on his ear like a beautiful song that it was with eyes closed. Just like the melancholic person that he was, rain would definitely be one of the thing that he loved alongside the sky, the beating of the rain and the thrum of thunder at the far distance equaled to a brilliant music of nature that he wouldn't hope to compare.

The rain was an orchestra, the howling wind its violin and the thunder its timpani. The rain was its beat and the violin solo cut through the air before a crescendo took over. Yoongi opened his eyes at the forte and he realized that his eyes had been deceiving him, because there right at the end of the first movement, right by the side of the door just before the rain welcomed any passerby from the heaven's above, stood Park Jimin.

He was standing there with his back facing Yoongi, leaning to the wall with face focused on the rain as if waiting for it to stop. Even without seeing the face he knew it was Park Jimin indeed. He was simply there, not running away nor crying, and what Yujin said to him a few days ago echoed in his head.

Well, it wouldn't stop you now, would it?

"Jimin?"

It startled the boy, hearing his name being spoken aloud. It did even more so as he realized who was calling him as he turned around, looking at the person who stood right behind him. It was none other than Min Yoongi and his eyes turned wide.

What happened next had Yoongi opening his eyes in rage. It got him clenching his fist tight and gritting his teeth as Jimin just simply turned his head back again and darted off straight into the middle of the rain without saying another word. That boy just simply ran away as he realized Yoongi was standing there behind him, calling out his name and trying to make a conversation just like any other normal person would do ever since the boy avoided him.

Mad was what Yoongi certainly was feeling, because right at that moment he realized that he had enough of it. He had fucking tried and Jimin was being such an unbearable little piece of shit, especially with him running away like now.

Just as simple as that Yoongi darted off into the rain as well, simply casting the fact aside that he was doing the exact opposite of what he told himself to do. He should be waiting until the rain stopped. He should not be giving any shits whatsoever to the pathetic boy like Park Jimin whom at this point he despised so much. Whether it was his impulsiveness that he had to blame or Yujin's words that echoed even louder in his head, Yoongi cast his reason aside and focused on catching Jimin.

Yet as Jimin did his best to run away from him, even going as far as dashing through the rain, Yoongi ended up running after him from behind, calling out his name and doing his best to outrun him, praying to himself and to his newly healed leg to not disappoint him at this point. He had to thank himself for playing basketball for the past year for he managed to do just so, screaming Jimin's name as this time he ended up diving towards Jimin, sending the boy tumbling towards the ground.

Last time it was him who was on the ground. He simply returned the favor as Jimin fell face first on the ground and Yoongi followed from behind, his knees meeting the ground by some cruel fate, he had to held down a cry as his whole body tensed and his legs felt like it was breaking for the second time. He hauled Jimin's body up, forgetting his own pain, making sure that the younger wouldn't be able to run away, as he flipped him over and held him by the collar of his school uniform. Yoongi was practically on top of him, locking away his movement.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you little piece of shit!"he screamed at Jimin's face.

The rain was still pouring heavily atop of them and they were practically in the middle of the road but at this point Yoongi didn't care anymore. His knees were aching, his whole body was drenched. Even now he realized that Jimin's face was bleeding, he got cuts at the edge of his forehead and lips as his face met the ground from Yoongi's earlier dive. He didn't care. For all that the boy had done, he at least deserved that much.

"Do you have that much of a fucking problem that you have to run through the fucking rain to avoid me?" he said.

Because that was what Jimin did. He was simply waiting for the rain to stop, clearly not having any intention to drench his body just as much as Yoongi did before the latter show up and the initial plan was as much as forgotten, the rain served as very little cost to pay to reach his goal of avoiding the very existence of Min Yoongi.

"Let go of me, hyung," Jimin squeaked, though his hands and legs had stopped resisting.

With this much rain, Yoongi couldn't even tell whether Jimin was crying. The rain was still there, painting both of their faces, the droplets fell from the edge of Yoongi's bangs towards Jimin's cheek.

"No! Not until you tell me what your fucking problem is!" he yelled.

He was definitely losing his cool. He shouldn't be giving any shit. He shouldn't be doing this. Jimin could hate him for all he cared. Jimin could stop walking home with him from school. Jimin could stop being his friend. It shouldn't mean anything to Yoongi at all.


( Their friendship shouldn't mean anything to him at all )


"I told you, I hate you, hyung," he whispered, loud enough for Yoongi to hear, even in the middle of the pouring rain.

"Bullshit!" he screamed.

Because everything that they did remonstrate that entirely. Who in the world would go home every single day with the person that they hate? Or invite the said person for a sleepover, or even stargazing, or practically every single thing that the had done together? Was Jimin playing with him all this time or the boy was simply some sort of a twisted psycho?

"You hate me? I don't believe any of that crap."

He knew what hate meant. Hate was what he had for this small town that was caging him inside. Hate was what he had for his father for restricting him for his dream. Hate was even what he had for what Jimin was doing right now, running away from something that Yoongi couldn't even understand. What he saw everyday on Jimin's eyes were nothing of those.

(Hate was seeing tears running down Jimin's cheek)

"Y-you don't understand, hyung," he said. Jimin's eyes were filled with sadness. It was pathetic and everything that Yoongi despised. It was longing and sadness and frustration. It was helplessness and defeat. The boy simply tried his best not to look at him back, avoiding his own eyes.

"Then tell me what I don't understand!"

He felt like punching Jimin on the face, felt like shaking him until he spill out words that would serve as an explanation enough to his ear. Instead, he was saying and doing everything that he shouldn't.

"I can't. You'll hate me, hyung."

"Do you think I'm such that low of a person that I would hate you without an explanation? Fuck it, Jimin, I'm already hating you right now for not letting me understand."

"You simply wouldn't, hyung. You're-,"

"Then make me! I'm your fucking friend and-,"

"Exactly that!" Jimin screamed. He had been avoiding Yoongi's eyes and this time he finally looked back at his.

At that moment, as Jimin looked back into his eyes, he somehow could see the sky reflected on those irises. Jimin was not crying. His face was indeed wet, raindrops running down across his cheek as if he was crying. Yet there he could see the grey sky, the rain pouring out of it just like tears would. There in the boy's eyes he could see the sky.

"You're my friend, hyung," he said, his voice shaking. For the first time Jimin raised his hand. it wasn't an act of restricting, nor that he was trying to push him aside. He oddly raised his fingers and he touched Yoongi's cheek gently with the edge of his finger. It was a really odd gesture yet Yoongi didn't do anything, feeling how cold the tip of Jimin's fingers were instead.

"Because you're exactly my best friend-," Jimin said slowly, gulping down before he opened his lips again, "-that I can't say I love you."

Jimin wasn't crying. Even in the midst of it all he wasn't. He was just there, lying on the ground, his fingers cupping Yoongi's cheek gently as the older let the words seep in. He should be saying something, should be asking whether maybe it was a joke because it wasn't funny at all, should probably be laughing or ask for some explanation. But oddly he didn't. He just looked at Jimin, being dumbfounded, the words somehow robbing him from all the words that he had.

Yoongi loved all of his friends, of course, even though he didn't want to say it out loud. He knew that he loved Jimin as well to the extent of being such a nice friend. He could say that he loved his groups, though basketball, music and the sky would be another form of love that nobody and nothing could ever hope to compare.

Yet here he was, in the middle of the road with a Park Jimin who just simply said that he loved him, and Yoongi didn't have any other words to say, his brains shutting down and he just thought of nothing and looked at nothing but Jimin who was exactly there right in front of him.

"You love me?" he repeated the words that sounded so foreign even to his ear, the words spilling out slowly like a hushed whisper, he was finding it scary to say it aloud.

Jimin bit his own lips and made a small gesture of nodding. His fingers traced Yoongi cheeks slowly and he oddly didn't cast it aside at all.

"I love you just like Seokjin-hyung loves Minju-noona.”

Jimin hated him.

I love you just like you love basketball.”

Jimin hated how he always went home with Yoongi right next to him.

I love you just like you love music.”

Jimin hated riding the bicycles with Yoongi on his back.

I love you just like you love the sky.”

Jimin hated sneaking out at the middle of the night to see the stars with him.

"A-and I know that it's wrong. I know that it's so wrong-,” only now did Yoongi notice that Jimin's voice wasn't the only one that was trembling. His fingers were as well. “-th-that i'm pathetic and disgusting," and Jimin finally took his fingers off of Yoongi's cheek.

Pathetic and disgusting, Jimin had said. Because both of them were boys. Both of them shouldn't be in love. That much Yoongi knew. That much Yoongi understood. And everything started to fall into place. Everything that they did, the reason he cried, why Jimin was afraid that he would hate him.

Jimin looked like he was in love with him most the time, Hoseok had said. Jimin left Seoul because of something that happened. Jimin cried in the classroom almost every day. And most of all Jimin hated him. Jimin really really hated him.

"And I'm sorry, hyung. I'm sorry," he whispered. Tears were pooling on Jimin's face but Yoongi could still see how the boy was indeed struggling, trying to keep it from pouring.

"I'm sorry that it's me ."

Don't say sorry, Yoongi wanted to say. He didn't like hearing the boy apologizing. Jimin wasn't doing anything wrong. Jimin didn't need to say sorry.

Jimin was going to break.

Jimin was going to cry.

Please stop, don't cry. Because that was the one thing he hated the most. That was the one thing he didn't want to see. He simply didn't want to see Jimin crying.

"So can you please, let me go, hyung?” he said, a mocking smile blooming across Jimin's face. “Do you understand, now? Do you hate me now?"

He wanted to say no. Wanted to keep Jimin there under his grip only for the boy to explain everything more to him. Yet was there anything else for Jimin to say? Was there anything left for him to explain? Jimin loved him. Everything was as simple as that.

"Can you please let me go because you're hurting me now and I need to cry," Jimin said, his words breaking.

Please don't let me break my promise, that was what Jimin's eyes said.

Everytime Jimin cried, Yoongi was going to hurt him so bad, the boy would stop crying, he said. That was their promise, and ever since then Jimin had never cried in front of him. The boy was trying his best not to right now, even in the middle of the rain because after everything, the least that the boy could do was to keep the promise th at he had made.

And oddly Yoongi just did, letting the boy's collar go without saying another word. His words died within his lips and his mind just went blank, just like that day as Jimin told him that he hated him. Because everything didn't make any sense to Yoongi, yet oddly it did. It made perfect sense now. Everything did.

Jimin slowly got up from the ground with shaky legs as Yoongi stood up and took another step backwards, ignoring the pain that was shooting through his knees with every little movement that he did, all the while having his eyes locked on Jimin. What should he say? What should he do? Why couldn't he do anything? Why couldn't he say anything?

Jimin just gathered himself up in front of him really slowly before he looked back on Yoongi's eyes one last time, whispering another sorry and turned around, not waiting for any word for him to utter and walk away.

Yoongi didn't know how long did he stand there, looking at Jimin's figure as the boy disappeared from his view. Not once did Jimin turn around to see him. Not once did he call out the boy's name either. He just stood there underneath the rain, the symphony playing all around him as more and more rain soaked him through, each melody cutting through him like a blade. Jimin loved him, the word ringing on his ear over and over again, the boy's expression and the scene played repeatedly on his head.

Even at the end of the day, the boy didn't shed any tears in front of him. Well, actually he didn't need to.

The sky had already cried in his place.


 

Chapter Text

"Yo man, why haven't we seen you?" Namjoon's voice echoed from the other end of the phone right as Yoongi picked up the call. He regretted it soon after, hoping that he could turn back time so that he wouldn't pick it up on the first place.

"I'm sick," he grumbled, his voice did sound hoarse.

From the other end of the call he could hear the rustling noises at the background, the sound of people shouting and whispering. Namjoon was at Seokjin's place with the others, it seemed, for he could definitely differentiate Hoseok's scream, even from the other side of the mountain.

'He said he's sick,' Yoongi could hear as Namjoon repeated the words for the others. Before he knew it, Hoseok had screamed directly into his ear, the younger snatching the phone away from its owner only to wish him to get better. It was Seokjin who came next, asking whether he needed their help or anything, the man would be more than happy to bring some warm food to his house if it was ever something that he needed to get better.

"No, I'm fine,“ he groaned back. Somehow the phone was relayed to Taehyung this time. The boy was in the middle of saying how he missed seeing Yoongi's pouting face even though he'd only been missing for four days, before Yoongi had had enough and turned the call down.

Groaning, he tugged himself underneath the blanket, hiding himself from the world if that was even possible. A noticeable vibration from the phone disturbed him yet once again, his friends seemingly hadn't given up in pestering him. Turning the call down heartlessly, Yoongi cracked the casing open and pulled the battery out. This way, his friends wouldn't be able to disturb him anymore.

His room was dark, all with the curtains blocking what was left of the sun and the dark looming sky that awaited him outside. It was Sunday afternoon at the last week of August and summer was seemingly about to pass with the heavy grey clouds painted across the blue sky.

It was going to rain.

Again.

Yoongi had been sick for four days, that was what he said. He was indeed sick, his voice hoarse and his temperature rising, though basically he had been better for the last few days. He simply didn't have any motivation to drag himself off of his bed. At least he could hide behind the pretense of being sick for the first couple of days. Maybe he could hold this act up for the entire week, who knew?

It had been four days and his friends did appear in front of his door on Friday when he was sick for real, his mother welcoming them with a warm smile as Yoongi stayed behind locked door for the entire day, tossing and turning underneath his blanket with a burning fever. Ever since summer he had put on a lock on his door for something called privacy, which was probably a lexicon foreign to his friends' ear. Yujin came as well on Saturday, asking about him when he was still deep in sleep, the girl ended up leaving some food for him to his mother before she went away yet again.

That Thursday he stood under the pouring rain for what felt like hours, going back with body drenched and head pulsating. His whole body ached after that, his knees being the most prominent, he jut hid under his blanket for the rest of the day, skipping school at the next and did his best to fall asleep.

Because at least in his sleep he would simply forget about everything. At least in his sleep he wouldn't have to think about the fact that Jimin was in love with him.
Park Jimin, the friend that he knew for almost half a year. Someone who was nothing but a weird stranger at first. Someone whose existence slowly became a constant habit in his life, just as much as lifting his head up to see the sky.

Park Jimin was in love with him.

“Fuck,” he whispered, ruffling his hair as the scene played in his head once again, the boy's eyes filled with sorrow with the tips of his fingers touching his cheeks just faintly.

It was all the reason why he opted to drown himself in sleep so that he would simply stop thinking. So that the memory would die out in the land of his dream, where the sun was shining and everything was just flowers and pretty butterflies. Everything was just pretty girls like Minju and Yujin, blowing kisses and winking their eyes.

Just like Seokjin loves Minju, Jimin said.

Yoongi groaned again, this time flipping himself in his bed so that he could bury his face in his pillow. Maybe he could do just that, drowned himself in his pillow, suffocating himself under the weight of this fact and died.

He was thinking about doing just so, maybe even tying his bed sheet so that he could hang himself from the ceiling and commit suicide, when a thud turned his attention towards the window of his room. Turning his head around, another thud answered his assumption that someone was throwing rock at it.

“Hyung, come out!” is what he heard through the apparent hole at the window. He definitely had not forgotten about the mess his friends had made with his window back then on summer vacation. Cursing under his breath, Yoongi dragged himself to open the window, worried that his friends would make another hole at it (the last one was fixed with mere tapes across it).

“What the fuck?! Leave me alone!” he screamed back.

He could see four figures standing right under his window, the usual cheeky grin of Taehyung made him feel like throwing up.

“Oh, come on, you're not really sick,” Taehyung said.

He wasn't.

“I am, so now leave,” he said, shutting down the window and hid under his blanket once again.

He didn't want to do anything. He just wanted to lie down on his bed, to sleep once again or to just die.

Oddly that was what he had been thinking and feeling right now every time the memory of Park Jimin came rushing back. He felt like he wanted to die.

 

+.-.+

 

He didn't know what drive him to do what he was doing right now, but one thing for sure, his mother's scream and constant words of how he had to get his sorry butt back to school for whatever reason he had been moping for was one of it. It was Monday evening when he decided to slip out of his house and just walked aimlessly towards the hill, leaving his house behind, trying to clear his head.

It wasn't particularly the hill that he was heading for, but it seemed like his feet already knew where he needed to be. His knee was still aching but being a stubborn person that he was, Yoongi just ignored his joint's scream and went along with it. At this point maybe he could run away for good and his mother wouldn't mind. His friends would think that he was still sick back at home and he could just walk down the Auraji train rail until he found a passing train and hitchhiked it all the way to Seoul.

The hill had always served as his salvation, the only place for him to clear his head. He didn't know why he always found himself being here most of the time when his head was most troubled. It was the solitude that he longed for, the quietude and isolation expanding that space within his mind. That was why he occasionally brought his notebook here, only to scribble down pages worth of lyrics.

This time he was alone with nothing but his own head and Jimin's words ringing on his ear.

Jimin was in love with him. That was the fact that troubled him the most. His best friend was in love with him. It should be wrong, he knew, since they were boys. Yet Jimin wasn't asking for something more. It was Yoongi who asked for explanation and the boy had simply provided him with one, one that made everything fell into place as easy as a snap of a finger.

That was why he was angry back when he went to Jeongseon with Yujin. That was why he asked him whether he liked Yujin or not. He simply asked the wrong person. It wasn't Yujin that the boy liked.

“It was me,” he whispered to himself, ruffling his own hair, feeling like pulling them out one by one.

This shouldn't bother him, he realized. This shouldn't make him skip school for days. Jimin was his best friend and he was in love with him. It was that much of a simple fact. Yet it did bother him and he didn't know why. Did it make him loathe the boy? Was he disgusted now? Did he think of Jimin as a fag, a weirdo an abomination that he had to avoid?

What should he do? Should he say anything? Did Jimin even ask for anything?

Questions were swarming in his head and before he knew it, the explanation that Jimin gave him didn't make everything easier. But at the same time, there was indeed one question that he himself could answer.

What was he doing right now?

He was simply running away.

 

+.-.+

 

He hadn't show himself in front of his friend for almost an entire week and the first thing that Seokjin did was hugged him as if he had gone missing for an entire month. He showed up at school on Tuesday and Namjoon patted him on his back, saying how they were glad to have him back. He kept on saying that he was sick for almost an entire week though none of them seemed convinced, thinking that he was fighting with his parents as usual and ended up running away to god knows where.

Yujin was the first to ask about what was wrong, coming to him with eyes filled with worry. He repeated the same lie he had been uttering, earning him a pout from the girl and another message of taking care of himself better. Soon after the group crowded over him in the hallway, he started to think that maybe he had been missing from school for an entire year instead of mere days.

Yet as the bell rang and he was forced to step foot into the classroom, Yoongi couldn't ignore the beating in his own chest, the fist tightened and the sweat running on his back. His eyes went to that seat right at the other end of the classroom, wondering whether a certain someone would be occupying it. He didn't even know which would be better, having the said person turning his back to catch his own eyes or avoiding it completely.

But then again he didn't have to worry about either of those since the seat was empty. It remained so even after the teacher entered the classroom and started the lesson, making Yoongi wondered whether Jimin had been avoiding him altogether as well since Thursday, the both of them ended up being absent from the school at the same time.

Yoongi didn't know which was better. At one part, not having to see Jimin felt like a bliss since the rest of the day could go on as easy as that, he didn't have to worry about anything or even remembered the reason why he had skipped school for almost an entire week. Then again not having the boy there tortured him as well, constantly reminding him that maybe something bad had happened to him. In the end it made Yoongi felt like an asshole because he didn't do anything at all. He simply let the boy leave that day, standing on the road until the tiny droplets of water felt like hundred of rocks being hurled at him.

Where could he be right now? Was he sick just as he was? Or was he just running away? If so how long would he keep doing that? They were bound to meet one another at the end, weren't they?

The six of them lounged as usual on their usual spot and even as smooth as the day went by, Yoongi couldn't just stand still. His friends just talked like usual, Namjoon passing along cigarettes, Jungkook refusing it, Taehyung being a usual dork. No one mentioned anything about Jimin and it made him felt even more restless. It was right as they went back to their class after recess did he call out to Taehyung, pulling the latter to the nearest corner and asked him the only thing that had been bothering his mind.

“Where's Jimin?” he asked.

Taehyung answered him with a pout. “Chimchim said he had something to take care of back at home.”

'Something to take care' seemed suspicious enough. Was it his reason not to attend school to avoid him?

“Had he been going to school since Thursday?” Yoongi asked.

Taehyung curved his eyebrow.

“Yeah, he did. He was at school back on Friday,” the boy answered nonchalantly. “What's wrong?”

Something felt off. For once, he thought that the boy's absence on Friday was something to be expected of. So why didn't he go to school today, then? Did he know that Yoongi was going? His mind was racing so much he started thinking about the stupid possibility of the two of them taking turns going to school to avoid running towards each other completely for the next half year.

Then again, Taehyung's reaction bothered him as well. For once he thought that maybe Taehyung knew. He had seen the both of them that day inside of the classroom. The two of them were close and even more so lately (though their stupid shenanigans had started since years ago). Yet here Taehyung was, looking like he didn't have a clue at all.

“Did something happen on Thursday?” Taehyung asked again.

Or maybe Jimin simply didn't tell him yet. Either way Yoongi shook his head and sighed, somehow relieved that Taehyung didn't know a thing about it. His friends knowing about what happened between the two of them was the last thing that he wanted to happen.

“No, it's nothing,” he said, brushing it off.

“You sure it's nothing?” Taehyung asked once again, his tone becoming more serious before he followed, voice a little bit more cautious. “I mean, we all know that you two are kind of like-, fighting.”

“We're not fighting,” he said again, the words coming out from his lips more like a whisper. Truth be told at this point Yoongi didn't know what the two of them are doing anymore.

Taehyung smiled and patted his shoulder before he continued. “Well, I don't know what happened between you two, but I know that Jimin just wanted to make up with you. After all, we kind of miss hanging around the two of you.” The boy flashed out his trademark smile before he walked ahead of him into the classroom, ending their conversation.

It was history afterwards and instead of snoozing or trying his best to have his eyes opened during the entire lesson, Yoongi ended up gazing at the blackboard with a blank expression on his face, his own head felt like exploding. Somehow, hearing what Taehyung just said to him make his mind race.

Min Yoongi didn't do feelings, that‘s what he had said once. An underclassman had once confessed her love to him and he rejected her with a cold heart, not caring whatsoever even if the girl ended up crying behind his back. What others thought about him was none of his business. People could hate him and he wouldn't care, that was what he had said. That was what he thought he would treat Jimin with, if hate was everything that the boy had for him just like he claimed it to be.

Yet he couldn't just stand still. That day he could just stand under the roof of the school as he saw the boy ran away from him through the pouring rain. But no, he had to run for him as well, had to push him to the ground and knocked some senses into him.

In the end it was him who felt like he was knocked down, having heard that his best friend was harboring feelings for him all along.

Maybe because Park Jimin was simply his best friend that he couldn't just let it go. He couldn't just accept the fact that the boy decided to drift away from him with such stupid excuse as hate. Now when he knew the truth, he realized that he still couldn't just let him go.

And maybe his feet knew his feelings better than him. All this time he definitely thought with his feet, not his head, because before he knew it, he had stood up in the middle of the classroom from his seat, attracting everyone's attention and definitely their beloved history teacher as well.

"Mr. Min, what are you doing?" she said, looking at him with her accusing eye.

He certainly didn't think with his head that time. It was his feet that did it all for him, as they led him to the door of the classroom in a simple walk without giving a damn whatsoever to the teacher's questions and slow murmured of the other students for his weird behavior. Even when the teacher ordered him to sit back on his seat he kept on walking, letting his feet brought him as far as the front gate of the school. What started as a walk had led to small jogs across the Auraji Bridge. Before he knew it, he had been running halfway passed the road that he used to take everyday after school with Jimin, his feet working even faster and his steps wider with every second passed. He just let himself ran without thinking, his feet certainly knew where to guide him. Even with how his knee started to ache and how his lungs felt like it were exploding inside his chest, he just kept on running before he found himself standing in front of the Park's house.

When his feet couldn't run anymore it was his hand that knocked frantically against the door whilst screaming, yelling out Jimin's name. The one who appeared on the door was Jimin's grandmother, the old Park looking concern. She didn't seem mad at all, considering Yoongi had been making quite a ruckus at her front door, calling out her grandson's name in such desperation.

“Ah Yoongi, what's wrong?” she said calmly. “Is something the matter?”

“Where's Jimin?” Yoongi asked, his own breath still heaving from all the running that he did.

Right to the mention of Jimin's name the old Park's face seemed troubled, her eyes cast towards the ground in what felt like worry and sadness.

“Jimin is a bit preoccupied right now,” she said slowly before she flashed a smile, one that spoke of apology.

Something sank in Yoongi's heart because this felt really wrong.

“Well, is he okay?” he asked. All that he wanted to do right now was to barge through the door and checked up on the boy if he could. He must be inside hiding, right? Or maybe what he feared was a reality. What if the boy wasn't there at all? What if the boy had made sure that Yoongi wouldn't be the one that had to avoid him anymore?

“Jiminie is absolutely fine, don't worry about it,” the Park said.

“Then why can't I see him?” Yoongi said back, his tone raising without him even realizing it.

No one was telling him that he couldn't see Jimin, but he started to fear that maybe he wouldn't be able to anymore. Yoongi tightened his fist, thinking about how he just stood there under the rain that day without even saying anything. He regretted it now. For once it wasn't just annoyance and frustration that haunt him. It was fear as well. What if Jimin just left? What if he returned to Seoul after all of that?

('And what would even be the problem if Jimin left him?' that tiny thought in his head said. Why should it bother him?)

“I've told you. Jimin is a bit preoccupied right now,” the Old Park answered again calmly.

“Is Jimin even here?!”

Because he couldn't just run away to Seoul. Yoongi had asked for an explanation and Jimin had given him one.

Jimin had told him about his feeling and now it was Yoongi's part to tell him his.

“Well, Jimin is-,”

The god of this universe would certainly hate him for what he did. Min Yoongi shouldn't have lost it. He shouldn't be raising his tone, especially to someone as sweet as grandmother Park who smiled with his two front teeth missing and cooked delicious dinner for his loving grandson and his best friend. Yoongi hated for what he did that time but he certainly wasn't in his own right mind as he grabbed the edge of the door, pushing the Old Park aside and went through the door in a desperate manner.

He was certainly going to hell for pushing an old lady and Yoongi did just so, forcing himself through the door, ignoring the Old Park's yelp and screamed for Jimin's name once again.

He was about to run through the stairs, going up to Jimin's room and expecting to see the boy hiding himself under locked door when a soft voice answered him from the living room instead.

“Yoongi?”

His heart stopped right there as he turned his head towards the living room, taking a few steps into the room to find the boy he had been looking for, sitting on the armchair.

Something melt inside of him. Either something melt or something just exploded. Yoongi certainly couldn't describe his feeling, but relief was one of them. It was relief washing all over him before his knees felt weak and he wanted to do nothing but just drop onto the floor right at that point. All that running and screaming had come down to him wanting to just collapse on the floor of the Park's household upon finding Jimin just right there in front of him, safe and sound.

Because he wasn't running away again. The both of them was there, looking at each others' eyes. And on top of all, Park Jimin was there. He was still in Yeoryang-myeon. He wasn't leaving him for Seoul.

Jimin was there.

“What are you doing here?” a foreign voice woke him up from his trance.

And only when Yoongi turned his head to the owner of the voice did he realize that Jimin wasn't alone. There, right in front of the armchair was a middle-aged couple who bore a striking resemblance to Jimin.

He wasn't alone. Jimin's parents were there sitting on the sofa in front of their son. “Jimin, what is the meaning of this?” said the man that must certainly be Jimin's father. Jimin inherited his eyes, that much Yoongi could tell.

Even then Jimin was still having his eyes fixed on Yoongi, the boy seemingly couldn't believe what he had been seeing. It was three seconds passed in complete silence.
“Jimin, your father just asked you a question,” this time the mother interfered, looking at her son before taking a judgmental look at Yoongi.

That day Jimin broke his promise.

He broke his promise right there, as the first hint of tear fell down the boy's face. He was just sitting there on the armchair, looking at Yoongi as tears fell down his face uncontrollably, painting his cheek wet without him trying to hide it. He just cried right there in front of his parents with his eyes still fixed at nothing but Yoongi.
Jimin just looked at Yoongi who ran all the way to find him and cried, right then and there.

Yoongi would have taken his steps forward, would have wrapped his arm around Jimin and hugged him tight. He would do whatever he could to wipe that tears off of his face like he promised him he would. He would do any of it all if it wasn't for Jimin's father, this time turning his attention towards him.

“And who are you? Why do you just barge into our residence?” he asked, his voice growing impatient. “What's happening here? Can you explain this, Jimin?” he said again, this time trying to get through his son's head one more time.

Jimin turned his head really slowly towards his own parents, his jaw opened yet no sound was coming out of it. His tears were still streaming yet he didn't even try to hide or wipe it away. And Yoongi was just there, standing awkwardly as he realized that both Taehyung and Jimin's grandmother was actually telling the truth. Jimin didn't go to school today because his parents were coming over.

“I-,” and even Yoongi found himself robbed off of his voice, his eyes still fixated on Jimin who was now looking on the ground, eyes looking hollowed as if the boy was trying his best to process what just happened in disbelief. “I'm just-, checking on Jimin. He didn't-, go to school today,” he stuttered, trying to vomit some decent explanation out of his mouth.

“I appreciate your concern but we believe that his homeroom teacher was informed about this already,” his mother said, looking at Yoongi with something that clearly spoke of annoyance and suspicion. “There's no need for you to trouble yourself with our son's private and urgent business.”

Yoongi nodded slightly, still feeling and looking dumbfounded. His eyes were quickly diverted from Jimin's parents back to the boy, watching as he was still seated on the armchair with shock written clearly all over him.

“Who are you anyway?” said his father this time.

He didn't know why, but he didn't answer straight away that time, having his eyes still on the person that mattered the most in the room to him, the person who looked as if he was just losing his mind, still not believing what he had just seen. He didn't know why but it felt as if he was waiting for Jimin to answer it for him. What were they, right now? Where they fighting? Where they still avoiding one another?

He thought that Jimin wouldn't answer but the boy slowly lifted his head to look at his parents for the first time since Yoongi appeared inside of the room. He opened his mouth and the words rolled slowly from his mouth.

“A friend,” Jimin said softly. "He was my friend."

Yoongi might have let Jimin leave that day, as he was seated on the ground, watching the boy ran away after he said that he despised him. Yoongi might have let him leave for the second time as well as he stood under the rain, watching his best friend left him with nothing but his unrequited feelings. He might have done all of that without letting the boy knew what he had to say.

He might have done all of that, but this time he wouldn't be just the one standing there with his mouth shut, looking at Jimin who went further and further away from him.

“Am,” Yoongi corrected him.

Jimin had told him about his feeling and now it was Yoongi's part to tell him his.

“I am his best friend.”

 

 

Chapter Text

It was Yoongi's favorite time of the day, the sun setting on the horizon with the orange filling the sky with a wondrous glow. The setting sun looked even more beautiful from the hill as the sun disappeared under the chain of hills that surrounded Yeoryang-myeon. Down there he could see the first hints of lights being lit, signaling the end of the day as the moon taking the sun's throne, reigning the people underneath, cradling them in their sleep after hours of work under her parting lover. He had said once how the lights from the town in the middle of darkness was comparable to that of fireflies. They didn't have fireflies in Yeoryang-myeon, sadly, but Yoongi had made peace with that fact, letting the town's light replacing them instead. At least both of them made him feel the same way, providing him with a flickering beacon of hope just like a star did.

If they could wish upon a dying star hundred of galaxies away, why couldn't they wish upon a tiny flying insects whose existence was a mere grasp away? Both of them were scattered in the midst of darkness. Both of them lighted up the night. Then why did the stars be the only thing capable of granting one's wish? Why couldn't something that flew with light as beautiful as its flicker do the same thing?

“You're okay?” Yoongi whispered.

Jimin was seated right next to him on the ground, the boy hugging his feet with chin on top of his knees. His eyes were fixed on the horizon just like he did. He answered him with nothing but a nod and Yoongi decided not to push him more than that.

Jimin hadn't spoken another word to him since. The two of them were back in the boy's house just hours ago, Yoongi standing in the living room of the Park house in front of Jimin's parents while the younger crying his eyes out, both of them losing the ability to speak altogether. It was Jimin's grandmother who stopped their stupid staring contest, breaking the ice and explaining to them that Yoongi was just concerned, how Jimin's friends were waiting for him outside as well (which was a lie fabricated by her to ease out the situation) and how Yoongi would come back later when Jimin was finished with their discussion.

It was the Old Park as well who guided Yoongi to Jimin's bedroom instead of the front door, telling him to wait for his grandson there. She explained how Jimin's parents just drove all the way to Seoul to discuss something important with Jimin pertaining his future. In the midst of his confusion Yoongi managed to blurt out an apology for being impolite, pushing her away and barged into the room. Jimin's grandmother was certainly the best person in the world for she just smiled that trademark two-missing-front-teeth-smile of hers and said not to worry about it.

“I know you're really concern about Jiminie. You're a really good friend, Yoongi,” that was what she had said as she left Yoongi alone in Jimin's room to wait for him.

The so-called discussion ended two hours later or so and Yoongi witnessed as Jimin's parents car left the house. He should have realized the foreign-looking car parked not so far away on the road as he frantically ran all the way from school. It wasn't long before he heard footsteps on the staircase and the bedroom door was opened, revealing Jimin who was standing there, looking at Yoongi with the same gaze, as if the elder was a ghost and he just simply couldn't believe what he had been seeing.

The next thing that Jimin said was how he wished the elder would accompany him to the hill and Yoongi just nodded. He followed the younger as the both of them walked silently side by side without uttering another word.

Yoongi was the one who had to come up with an explanation or at least something to say. Jimin had said everything that he needed to, yet he felt as if he was the one waiting here.

“I broke my promise,” Jimin finally said, his words sounded more like a whisper. The boy's eyes were still on the horizon, witnessing with each passing second how the sun disappeared from view, its warmth replaced by the cold howling wind and the creeping darkness.

He remembered how he just witnessed the boy crying yet again. Jimin had tried his best to hold back his tears, even when he confessed his love back then on Thursday in the middle of the rain. All it took was just Yoongi looking for him like a desperate man to have him cried uncontrollably.

“It's okay,” Yoongi answered softly.

“Aren't you going to hurt me like you said you would, hyung?” the boy said again, the words sounded like sarcasm of some sort.

“No,” the elder simply answered.

It was yet another silence but Yoongi had grown accustomed to it. They had spent hours with it, walking down the road each day without the two of them needing to say anything. Comfortable silence was the third party in their relationship.

(Considering such thing as relationship was even there to begin with)

They were friends, that was what Yoongi thought. That was possibly the only thing that he viewed them as. Min Yoongi was famous for a brute. He stuck his nose in Jimin's business even when it wasn't his own. He threatened the boy and scolded him for crying, even when that was any person's right to do. His words sounded like an insult most of the time. He was far from a good friend and at the same time he had hurt Jimin without himself realizing it.

“I've hurt you enough,” he said.

It wasn't just shoving Jimin to the ground that Thursday. He could still see the faint cut on the boy's face from which it met the ground. How he hurt Jimin was something more than just that. He was hurting him from just standing there under the pouring rain.

“Are you disgusted by me?” Jimin asked.

Because Jimin loved him? Because Jimin liked men? If it wasn't Jimin maybe he would. He would sneer and try his best to distance himself from the said person. But this was Park Jimin, his best friend who had spent almost half a year together with him. They had done more than just hugged one another after winning a game. They had spent nights on sleepover together and it wouldn't be a problem. Would it change anything if he knew that his best friend was gay?

(Would it change anything if he knew that his best friend was gay and in love with him all this time?)

“My parents are,” Jimin said again. His voice didn't shake. The words escaped his lips just like that and Yoongi found how weird that was, as if the boy was already numb to the fact that used to drive him to tears each time he mentioned it. Time had really passed indeed. The first few months in this town, Jimin would probably crack under the mention of Seoul alone. Now he uttered the word as easy as that. Yoongi didn't know whether he had to feel happy or sad about it.

“They were disgusted by me. That's why they sent me to Yeoryang-myeon to live with my grandmother in the first place,” he said.

Yoongi didn't have to ask about that anymore. He knew it right away now. His parents realized about their only son's sexuality and felt ashamed by it. They practically threw Jimin out. That was why he said how everything was sad back at Seoul. Horrible was how Yoongi could understand what Jimin's parents had done. As cruel as they were, everyone could understand why they did it.

Then again, he was right from the very first day all along. No one in their right mind would leave Seoul for a place like this willingly.

“And now that you know everything, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't want to see me anymore, hyung,” he said.

Right in front of them, the sky was getting darker. The sun was completely engulfed by the hills, its afterglow being the only thing visible to their eyes. The darkness crept all around them and even more lights were lit down there on the town. Eyes were closed only to have another opened.

“But I did, didn't I?” Yoongi said, turning his head towards Jimin. “I came to see you.”

His words got Jimin slowly turning his head towards him. There were sadness in his eyes like always, the same expression that Jimin had whenever he talked about Seoul. It was the same eyes looking back at his right underneath the rain on Thursday.

“Why?” Jimin asked.

And deep down he actually knew. Deep down Yoongi knew what Jimin was hoping for him to say. He knew the words that Jimin was waiting to hear.

“Because you're my best friend,” he said. That was what they were. They were friends. Arms slinging across each other shoulders, laughters traded during game of basketball and dreams shared underneath the starry sky. It was pinky promises, playful insult and innocent smile.

He had said once that Park Jimin was the best thing that had happened to Yeoryang-myeon. If that was even the slightest bit of true, then Min Yoongi would certainly be a fool to let that best thing even slip away from his finger.

“And I just couldn't lose you.”

Jimin had said everything and he had said his. At least he wasn't running away anymore, neither was he just standing there, watching as Park Jimin walked away from him. He had done it twice, he would be a fool to make it into the third time. He knew exactly what Jimin wanted to hear, but he could only hope that what he had to say was good enough.

At that point the sky was already dark, the sun completely drowned under the horizon, yet Yoongi could swear that it was as bright as day, as Jimin curved his mouth and smiled. For what felt like years, the sky was right again.

(And for now, everything was good enough for Jimin)

 

 

The brat and I, we are friends.

 

+.-.+

 

It didn't start with a handshake or a hug, followed by an apology and another promise. They only avoided each other for a few weeks, but somehow it already felt like years for Yoongi. It felt like years had passed as he walked into the classroom on Wednesday, smirking at the sight of a boy who waited for him, seated right where he was supposed to be, right behind him. It certainly felt like years for their friends as well as Taehyung burst into made up tears upon seeing the two of them talking to each other.

“Because this meant I could stop sitting with Ikje,” he said, burying Jimin in a hug. “Of course I love my Chimchim better than him.”

Everything was all right again or so Yoongi thought. Namjoon was kind enough to bring Yoongi's bag and belongings which he had left when he ran to Jimin's house the earlier day quite unexpectedly.

“I'm glad you've made up with Jimin,” Namjoon said as Hoseok and Jungkook was making an impersonation of a girl group's dance or something. Yoongi and Namjoon were the only one sitting at the top steps of the staircase just by the door at their usual spot. The others were gathered a bit further away, thus making them able to carry out a conversation without having to trouble themselves with the others' idiocy.

Yoongi just nodded slightly, eyes still focused on the laughing Jimin, who decided to join their stupidity whilst dragging Taehyung with him.

“So what is it about actually?” Namjoon asked.

That got him turning his attention towards the man.

“What do you mean?”

“What were you two fighting about?” their leader asked again.

Something churned in his stomach. 'Jimin was in love with me all along and that was what drove us into madness'. That was the sentence that was forming in his head. But then again, how could he blurt those words out to Namjoon?

This time Seokjin decided to join gang stupid as he did his trademark dance which purpose and point Yoongi always failed to understand up until now.

“No, it's nothing,“ he said. “We've made up, that's what important,” Yoongi said in a low tone.

Namjoon curved his eyebrow, definitely looking suspicious and curious about it before Yoongi's tone made him realize that it was something that he shouldn't be sticking his nose into. As much as a snoop that best friend of his was, Namjoon at least knew when he needed to be serious or playful, something that the likes of Taehyung probably couldn't differentiate.

“It's good, then,” said Namjoon for the last time before their leader decided to yell at Seokjin and hurried down the staircase, joining the freakshow that was unveiling before his eyes.

It was September already with the summer slowly passing. That day the wind blew warmly through the opened door at the staircase, the blue sky promising all of them a beautiful day under the sun. That day Yoongi sat on top of the staircase, watching his band of stupid friends making a shame out of themselves before they tried to drag him with them, wondering whether he would ever miss their stupid shenanigans, every recess spent at their favorite spot, and the last breath of summer blowing through the door.

 

+.-.+

 

Yoongi brought his bike with him to school that day, giving his knees a break for all the pressure he had put them into for the last few days. Ever since he broke his leg it didn't feel quite the same anymore and for the weeks spent with walking around carelessly with a cast on it, he wouldn't be surprised if the injury remained permanent for the rest of his life.

He went to his bike when the last bell rang, with the sky shining brightly above his head, everyone had seemingly the same idea of spending the rest of the day outside under what could be the last sunshine of summer. It was when he got to his bike did Yujin call out to him, the girl smiling like always.

“What happened yesterday? You just bolted like that in the middle of the lesson,” she said, reminding Yoongi about the stupid antic that he just pulled. “Mrs. Oh was furious afterwards, you know,” she added, grinning.

Yoongi felt like he wanted to facepalm himself. From all the time in this world that could be, he had to have an epiphany in the middle of history, or as everybody in the class already knew it, that lesson whose teacher was notorious for having such great dislike for the one and only Min Yoongi. He couldn't help himself though. Every important thing in his life just had to happen during history.

“I'll probably get another detention,” Yoongi said, sighing. He wasn't a stranger to it already, by this time Mrs. Oh would already be hating him for the crime of being him alone.

“But is everything okay with you? You seemed really troubled yesterday,” she said, sounding concerned. Yujin had always been like that, concerned for every little thing that he did, asking him just as much as his own friends did. More than that, maybe.

The two of them were walking together towards the school gate with Yoongi bringing his bike on his side. The other students were scrambling out of the building alongside them as well. “Yeah, it's okay,” he answered, knowing that it would simply be impossible to tell her about Jimin's feelings for him as much as it was to Namjoon.

“You could always tell me when there's something bothering you,” she said, looking at him sincerely.

Somehow Yoongi ended up feeling guilty. He certainly couldn't tell her what just happened. There wasn't a soul that he could talk about it with and Yoongi was happy to keep it that way. After all, everything was already okay. Yujin just wanted to help. She already did. If it weren't for her words he wouldn't run after Jimin.

Then again, Jimin wouldn't drive himself to confess as well if it weren’t for her. Jimin was simply-,

“Hyung?”

Yoongi turned his head from Yujin only to find the said boy in his mind, standing by the school gate. He was certainly waiting for him. He was waiting for him to go back home together, just like how they used to do back then.

Jimin's eyes turned from him towards Yujin. And there it was once again, the grey sky on Thursday flashing on Jimin's eyes. Yet somehow it was Yoongi who felt like his stomach just churned.

“Ah, it's okay,” Jimin said as the boy looked back at him, a smile painting his face. “I can go back on my own.” It was a smile yet Yoongi knew more than anyone that it wasn't the scattered stars nor the blue sky that he loved. He had seen the both of them to know when Jimin was lying. A smile was indeed hung on his face, but all he saw were grey clouds and torrential rain.

Just like that the boy turned his heels, ready to run away again from him.

“No,” he whispered. He didn't know whether it was him not being loud enough or his own words falling to deaf ear. Either way it made him clench his jaw, his own fingers tightened on the handle of his bike, he thought about throwing the thing towards Jimin only to have the boy stopping in his track if possible.

More than anything, Jimin was simply jealous.

“Don't you fucking dare move, Park Jimin!” Yoongi yelled.

His raised tone had certainly startled Yujin, for Yoongi could see her changed expression from the corner of his eyes, the girl having her eyes cast respectively from him to Jimin who was having his back against them.

But Jimin did stop. He stood there dead in his track and Yoongi quickly went to his side, yanking the boy's wrist and placing it on the handle of his bike, non-verbally telling him to take it in his hand.

“I'm going home with you today no matter what and don't you dare go without me,” he said with something that sounded more like a threat.

He turned around once again to look at a confused Yujin before this time walking towards her, leaving his bike at Jimin who did hold it at the end.

“I'm sorry. I wish you could understand,” Yoongi said.

It felt oddly like a rejection. It felt as if Yujin just had somehow confessed to him and now he was rejecting her for Jimin instead. It wasn't certainly that, he knew. Yujin didn't say anything about liking him. She was just being a good friend. She was there when Jimin wasn't and he enjoyed her company, that much he could tell.

Oddly Yujin just smiled, genuine and sweet like always. She took out her arm and patted his shoulder as she nodded.

“It's okay, don't worry about it,” she said. She was nothing but a sweet and caring girl and sometimes he felt bad because he didn't deserve to have that. If she was as much as a friend as his group and Jimin ever was, Yoongi certainly hadn't been a good friend for them. “I'm glad that you're friends with Jimin again.”

She let her hand go and Yoongi nodded. It was him saying that he couldn't go home together with Yujin that day, but it felt like a goodbye instead. It wasn't like he would be leaving her. The two of them would still meet one another tomorrow at school either way. More than that, the three of them could actually just walk along the road together though he knew it wouldn't be as easy as that. It was a simple words of apology that they wouldn't be spending the next half hour or so walking down the road of their town, but it felt as if walking home with her wouldn't be an option anymore.

He turned his heels and went back towards Jimin, taking the bike and ordered the younger to ride behind him. And just like that the two of them took off with Yoongi, feeling like he just left something as important behind him.

 

+.-.+

 

“Why did you do that?” Jimin said softly behind his back a few minutes after they left the school. It were houses and shops lining next to them as Yoongi pedaled through the road with Jimin on his back. They were still in the heart of the town and even so there was very few cars passing through the main road on work day.

“Do what?”

“Not going home with Yujin,” the younger said.

“Because I want to go home with you,” he answered.
They neared the Auraji Bridge and from there Yoongi could see the river glistened just underneath them. It was the sound of stream and his rattling bike that filled the air for a moment, followed by a certain car passing or another respective bike from the other direction. From there he could just take the road that led exactly to Seongcheon-gil, but instead he took another winding path that would lead them closer towards acres of rice field just at the outskirt of the city. Jimin didn't seem to mind because he just kept quite about it. After all, the weather was beautiful today he wouldn't mind spending some extra minutes outside.

“Don't you like her, hyung?” Jimin asked, his voice quite and soft.

He remembered the boy asking him such question. It was that day on summer vacation with him being held behind the boy's back due to his broken leg.

“What? I've answered your question before, haven't I?”

The road was completely empty by this point, the two of them being the only one going through it.

“You didn't say no,” Jimin whispered.

He felt like facepalming himself right there and then if he could.

“Oh my god, Park Jimin. No, I don't like Yujin. Happy now?” he said, feeling annoyed, just like he used to do back then when all that there was between the two of them was misunderstanding and Jimin's inability to differentiate sarcasm from a joke (or maybe it was Yoongi's inability to emphatize).

Yoongi sighed before he continued, not wanting to lead the boy into thinking that he hated him again. “I can go home with her any other time. After all, we haven't gone home together for a while.” It wasn't that long of a time but it surely did feel like it.

There was yet another silence, the rattling sound being the only thing that filled their surroundings other than the rustling leave and blowing wind.

“I'm sorry,” Jimin said.

“What for?”

“Everything,” the younger said. “For putting you into this.”

“You're not putting me into anything.”

“I am,” Jimin said before he gulped. “I've burdened you with my feeling.”

Truthfully he didn't think of it as a burden. Jimin being in love with him was just an information that he had to carry with him. It wouldn't make everything harder. They would just be friends like they did. They would go home together, talk together, watch the sky together. It wouldn't ever get in the way.

“It's okay,” Yoongi said. He wasn't that good in consoling other people. His words always sounded cold and wrong, but at least he could give it a try. “You're still my best friend.”

He remembered that time when Jimin cried again, that time when they made their promise. Jimin was afraid that Yoongi was going to hate him. Yoongi of all people, he had said.

“Nothing had to change,” he said.

That was what Jimin wanted, wasn't it? All of them being friends just like they were. The sky would be beautiful just like it always is. The blue would be replaced by purple and black each day. Red would soon be painted over green before white followed soon after. Season would change but they wouldn't have to.

It was yet another silence but Yoongi was happy. That much he could tell. The sky was beautiful and he had Jimin with him once again. He hadn't lost him. A smile was painted across his face and he knew that the same one was decorating the younger's lips as well.

They had passed the rows of rice fields, the road finally taking them into Seongcheon-gil, the river once again in view, snaking right under the bridge they crossed. It was then when Jimin whispered something unintelligible, soft and quite as if he didn't want Yoongi to hear it in the first place.

“Hm?” Yoongi simply hummed.

“Nothing,” Jimin quickly answered.

Yoongi just shrugged, focusing on the road. Falling down of the bike was the last thing he wanted to do after breaking his legs for doing so.

They were around fifteen minutes away from their house when Jimin cleared his throat, this time as if gathering his own courage to speak out his mind.

“Hyung?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can I-,” Jimin stopped. Yoongi just waited, thinking that maybe the younger wouldn't finish his sentence altogether. Turned out he was wrong.

“Can I hug you from behind?”

It wasn't that it was surprising or anything. If it was the old Park Jimin, saying something as cheesy as that with voice shaking, being as shy as a teenage girl, Yoongi would probably laugh and make fun of him. If it was Taehyung he would definitely reward the boy with a fist to the face.

But this was Park Jimin. This was Park Jimin, his best friend who was in love with him.

“Oh my god, just forget it, hyung,” Jimin quickly said when Yoongi didn't answer him. His voice shook and Yoongi could bet that his face was turning red. “Just forget I ever said that.”

And his back itched even more, the silent that fell upon them this time felt awkward. Yoongi tightened his fingers against the handle.

“Hey,” Yoongi said softly. He didn't know why he said this. Maybe because he was glad that they were friends again. Maybe because he wanted to thank the universe for giving him a second chance to right his mistakes.

Or maybe because it was Park Jimin. His one and only Park Jimin and he simply didn't need any other reason behind it.

“I didn't say no, did I?”

The bike was still going, the fields all around them being a blur, the green of the horizon blending with the blue of the sky. Jimin didn't say anything to that, the two of them fell into the same awkward silence once again, with Yoongi not knowing what his words would lead the two of them into.

It felt like an eternity when he felt Jimin's warmth closing in on his back. Jimin moved very slowly, leaning his chest against Yoongi's back. He could feel Jimin's breath as he leaned his head against him. Even Jimin's hands moved really slowly, as if he was afraid that Yoongi would suddenly pull away when he didn't. It were two hands, circling around his waist with shaking fingers. Yoongi just stood still, the bike still going and everything felt as if summer would never end.

And when Jimin finally held him tight, Yoongi somehow hoped that his house was as far away as Seoul if possible, only to have this ride going as long as it could.

 

 

I started going home with the brat again today.

 

 

Chapter Text

Yoongi was actually right. That day as he made up with Jimin was indeed the last day of summer. It was weird to say that, considering they didn't have an actual date to mark their calendar with although Yoongi could feel it in his bone already , how the blue of summer had left the sky and the green of the trees was slowly replaced by a burning yellow. All of them could tell that summer was already passed them, the airy feeling and the laughter echoing away in the air, going further and further away from his grasp like a dream long forgotten . Summer felt like a magical land, a place without worry where he could forget about everything.

It was already the third week of September and a utumn was bringing its own demon. Suneung was coming at the end of November and school started to weigh on them in ways Yoongi thought it never would. But then again, going to a small school in some little forsaken town meant scoring high wasn't really a goal their teacher was looking forward to. Even for the Min s , him continuing the workshop downtown was a more probable choice rather than going to a high-ranking university. Yoongi was interested in n either of the two.

Soon enough he was faced with another dreaded future, one that he kept at the back of his mind as the problem with Jimin acquired most of his attention. Now he realized that he needed to make an option, facing a problem that he had been running away from. Would Seoul be nothing but a childish dream of his, or would he dare take a step out of this confining town, just like he promised himself he would?

For once Yoongi was looking forward to his Thursday again, having basketball at the end of the day to keep his mind away from the trouble of thinking too much. After all, he got to play with Jimin again, something that felt like it hadn't happened in years. It would be great to have everything returning back to normal, the seven of them fooling around without having to care about anything else.

Everything would be just the way it used to be.

Nothing needed to change.


(Why would anything need to change, anyway?)


+.-.+


The first thing that Mrs. Oh did on History that Thursday was to shoot Yoongi another look of dismay, it got Yujin flashing him an apologetic smile just before the lesson started. Being the object of dislike by the said teacher wasn't anything new that Yoongi kind of forgot what mistake he had comitted this time. Breathing alone was probably already one.

It wasn't until the middle of the lesson, Yoongi trying his best to keep his eyes opened and mouth shut, not attracting any other unwanted attention from their teacher, when the said monster just casually slipped his name into the lecture, saying something about staying in the classroom after the lesson ended. If it weren't for the eyes of his fellow classmates turning towards him, Yoongi wouldn't probably even notice, eyes already half closed and soul venturing out of his bod y.

What?” he said, not sure that he had heard her right or that she even mentioned his name at the first place.

Yeah, Mr. Min, I'm talking to you,” she said, answering his disbelief in a rather amused way, though that flat tone never really left her speech. “Detention, after school.”

Yoongi furrowed his eyebrow, annoyance started to bubble at the pit of his stomach.

What? I didn't do anything wrong,” he protested, though he knew that the probability of such thing being wrong was small. Either he had forgotten about it completely or Mrs. Oh was punishing him for something he didn't do. He had been doing nothing throughout the lesson but breath. If breathing alone was punishable, then Yoongi would certainly stand up to that demonic teacher of his.

Oh yeah you did, Mr. Min,” she said, looking at him with an expression that Yoongi described as 'punchable' before she returned her gaze towards the textbook, leaving a still oblivious Min Yoongi dumbfounded over the punishment that befell him. “Now, if we talked about role of Japan expansion during the World War-,”

It was simply the way she dismissed his words as easy as that, returning to her tedious lecture and disregarding his very existence that irked him for real. “I've only been sitting here today listening to your boring lecture and you're giving me detention?!” Yoongi said, raising his tone. He would stand from his seat as well just to make his point clear, smashing his palm on top of the wooden desk if he was anywhere near being angry. At least not yet. Him talking back to the teacher wasn't something surprising since Min Yoongi was the type to do exactly that. The other students were having their eyes towards the two of them, as if a battle was pursuing in the classroom, one that at least got everybody opening their eyes instead of drooling on their textbook. In a way, the whole classroom got Yoongi to thank for.

This time Mrs. Oh took her time, taking her gaze off of the textbook towards Yoongi in a slow manner, the same annoying expression painting her face, Yoongi would love to have a basketball in his hand only to knock her down with it. Teachers had stopped being scary to him for a long time, annoying taking its place easily to his eyes.

Oh you certainly did, Mr. Min,” she said. “Yesterday, when you stormed out of the classroom and now for talking back to me, so maybe I would make that detention into a whole week long instead of just today,” she continued, a hint of smile painting her face already.

Two things happened at the same time. First one was how Yoongi felt like slapping his own face right there and then, a small 'oh' sounding in his head, reminding him of a crime that he did commit, one that he forgot almost too easily. Yujin did speak to him about it yesterday and he should have known it coming. This was simply a big irony and joke, history being the only lesson in which he had to receive some sort of epiphany from a higher being that got him bolting out of the classroom with no reason other than his own gut instinct telling him to do so. Second of all , Yoongi still felt like punching Mrs. Oh's face because she seemed so proud and satisfied for what she had done, especially seeing Yoongi's own reaction towards it. Either way, even though he had to admit that he was the one at fault, his teacher still looked like she needed a horse shit smeared across her face.

Yoongi slowly sat back down on his own chair, feeling defeat weighing on top of him, cursing under his own breath how he had to stay longer at school for at least the next seven days. Of course t his had to happen just when he was looking forward to basketball.

That was the only thing that would happen in history, he thought. He could fall asleep for all he cared right now or stormed out of the classroom yet again. Him being humiliated in the middle of the classroom was the only thing that would happen in the lesson alone that day, when the third thing followed soon after, proving him to be wrong.

It was a slam to the desk right behind him, something that was certainly missing from Yoongi's earlier stance. Once again all of the students turned their eyes towards the noise, this time Yoongi raising his eyebrows, following the crowd's gesture. He turned his head around, only to see Park Jimin standing from his seat, fist resting on top of his desk.

W-well, I think Yoongi's r-right,” he said, voice shaking and face slowly turning red.

From his own seat, Yoongi was searching for Jimin 's eyes , trying to mouth a 'what the fuck are you doing?' to the younger who dismissed his look altogether, eyes fixed towards Mrs. Oh with something that seemed like determination mixed together with a hint of uncertainty (if such thing was even possible).

Mrs. Oh sighed this time, turning her face towards Jimin. “And what do you want to say this time, Mr. Park?” she said to the second disturbance in her lesson.

Yoongi bet that at least to the whole classroom, this was the most interactive and interesting history lesson that they got in their whole third year.

Jimin gulped, still having his eyes fixed on their teacher. At one part he looked as if he was going to say something really important before somehow cowardice flashed on his eyes , his lips bit and fist shaking. Yoongi certainly didn't know what Jimin was trying to pull, this time whispering a 'just sit the fuck down' to the boy which he of course ignored.

I-i just want t-to say-,”

And Jimin turned his look towards Yoongi just for a fleeting second, as if asking for permission, giving him a message that he couldn't understand. Yet at that moment all his uncertainty was gone, the Park gulped, clenching his fist tighter and turned his attention back towards their teacher before opening his mouth and pretty much committing suicide right there and then.

I just want to say that Yoongi's right,” he said, the stutter disappearing from his speech. “Your lesson is nothing but utter crap,” he continued.

Yoongi's eyes weren't the only thing that was opened wide as those words left Jimin's lips, the whole class had practically gasped, finding the timid Park Jimin uttering such words to their teacher. Yoongi was a delinquent already, no one would be surprised if it was him standing right now, insulting their teacher. But this was Park Jimin, Park fucking Jimin who was a ball of timid sunshine and beautiful tiny flowers. Mrs. Oh looked equally surprised, hurt, even .

What did you just say?” she said.

Jimin gulped again, looking back at Yoongi, mimicking a smirk that painted his face too very often.

I just said that your lesson is boring as shit, I feel like sleeping through it, especially while looking at your ugly face,” he said, still looking at Yoongi, his smirk growing bigger into a smile.

And Yoongi didn't know why Jimin did it. Maybe it was a late rebellious phase, maybe it was him trying to make a new image. But somehow at that moment he found his mouth curving into a smile alongside his best friend.

Park Jimin, are you asking for a detention as well?!” Mrs. Oh said, raising her tone with her finger pointed towards Jimin, chest heaving with rage.

But of course it clicked. Yoongi wasn't stupid. He knew exactly why Jimin was doing this and he didn't need to be baffled like the rest of their classmates to figure out the reason why. Jimin turned his head back towards their teacher before delivering the final blow. He was certain that this moment would be something that the whole class wouldn't ever forget. The day where Park Jimin insulted a teacher in public. The day where someone finally spoke out the truth to their horrible history teacher. The day where Park Jimin deliberately asked for a detention, only to have his time spent with Yoongi.

And I also want to say that the cheapest razor cost less than 1000 won at the nearest store, because you desperately need it for your mustache, seonsaeng-nim, they've been getting pretty thick lately, I can't help but to break the news for you.


+.-.+


Both of them ended up on cleaning duty, staying late at school to clean the disgusting toilet stall at the first floor. They were on detention not only for a whole week or a month , but for two. Two freaking months . He completely blamed it all on Jimin's last words, because he had certainly insulted Mrs. Oh to such extent that her face turned red with steam coming out of her ear. They had to skip basketball for two months , cleaning duty probably wouldn't be the only thing that they ended up with. Either way Yoongi didn't know whether he had to be angry or relieved as he squat by the edge of the toilet seat with a scrub on his hand, looking at the Park Jimin who was closing his eyes in disgust as he poked the drainage with his glove-covered hand.

Why do you even have to mention her mustache? You know that she's super sensitive about it,” Yoongi said, wiping the sweat on his forehead with his arm.

I don't know, the words just slipped out,” Jimin said as he took out a bundle of disgusting hair out of the drainage. “Eww, this is disgusting. This is the men's toilet, right? How could there be so much hair, long ones to be exact,” he commented as he quickly threw it away to the plastic bin.

Yoongi went back to scrubbing, his mind racing towards his friends, spending time in the gym. This detention would go on for yet two more month s . At one point he sure was annoyed with the idea of spending his free time after school doing such troublesome duties. But then again he was somehow glad to have Jimin here, knowing that he didn't have to do this all alone.

(But of course this detention wouldn't be a month long torture if it wasn't for the stupid boy)

I don't know, maybe this place is haunted after all,” Yoongi said with a flat tone.

He had indeed heard something about it before, some underclassmen telling stories of crying voices and haunted spirit. Yoongi wasn't one to believe in such thing because each school always came up with their own stories. It was simply too mainstream that it wasn't even believable anymore.

Hey, don't talk about that!” Jimin said, his voice sounding scared.

Someone's afraid, eh?” Yoongi smirked. “I once heard that at the first floor bathroom there was a-,”

Oh my god, stop it, hyung!” Jimin said, screaming before he could finish his own sentence. “It's not funny at all!”

Yoongi chuckled. At this point he realized that scrubbing the toilet to porcelain-clean would be something simply impossible.

Well, ending up in a two months detention isn't funny as well,” he said back, his tone wasn't indicating that he was salty or angry about it. It was just another normal Yoongi tone, one that had sadly always been misunderstood by people.

Jimin's silence was cue enough for Yoongi to correct his words, afraid that it would lead to another misunderstanding.

But she did deserve the mustache talk. At least we gave her some important dating tip. The future Mr. Oh should be thanking us,” Yoongi quickly said.

This time Jimin chuckled and Yoongi was a bit relieved that at least the boy didn't think he was mad at him.

We? Don't you mean me?” Jimin said back.

Yoongi turned around to see Jimin smirking once again, this time standing by the sink, one hand resting on top of it, looking back at Yoongi who was still squatting beside the toilet at one of the stall with a smug expression .

Okay then, Park Jimin, you're clearly the man. The savior of every gentleman out there from a facial haired beast,” he joked.

It was somewhere close to five and he still didn't know how long would they be confined in that disgusting toilet. Going home late from school wasn't that big of a problem for Yoongi since he had been doing that since forever. One of the good part of doing this detention was having a legit reason to stay away from home as long as it took.

They fell to a silent routine, Jimin still cleaning each drainage with an occasional voice of disgust, only to be responded by Yoongi's grunt as he found a certain mysterious spot that refused to be cleaned even after a furious scrub.

It wasn't until six that they were relieved from their duty, Mrs. Oh swinging by after she was finished grading paper, satisfied with the sight of the two of them, still where they were supposed to be. She gave them yet another small lecture about responsibility and respecting the elders before they could finally leave the school building somewhere close to seven, with the sky already dark and Yoongi's back sore from all the squatting and bending down.

I bet I smell like toilet,” Jimin murmured as the two of them walked back towards their home. Yoongi didn't bring his bike that day and they had yet another half an hour walk ahead of them. But of course Yoongi never complained about that part, having been accustomed to such lifestyle. He found it as a luxury, even. Somehow he wondered whether Jimin who came from such bustling city like Seoul ever found it as troublesome.

You always smell awful, the toilet actually made you better,” Yoongi joked.

That's a pathetic joke,” Jimin said, elbowing him as they walked side by side.

He just earned himself a two months long detention weeks away from their actual S uneung. Soon enough with the detention and the amount of extra study, Yoongi would find himself being busy in ways that he probably wouldn't think that he would.

It was September which meant that the sky was getting darker earlier, the sun being shier after its longer reign during summer, giving opportunity for the moon to sh ow of its glow . He could feel the change in the weather, the breeze felt cooler and more refreshing, the cold seeping through the tips of his finger. Summer had indeed ended and he was still befriending the boy walking right next to him. They were stranger once and looked where they were right now. The crying, timid boy who was nothing but a freak at first was his best friend. The boy who did nothing but avoided his gaze, who misunderstood him all the time, who cried at any given time possible, who ran all over the town to look for him, who carried him on his back, who listened to his rant about dreams and stars, who claimed to hate his every guts.

His best friend who was in love with him.

Thank you, anyway,” Yoongi murmured, breaking the silence, turning his head from Jimin towards the sky.

What for?” Jimin asked.

For insulting Mrs. Oh on purpose. For getting detention just to spend his time with Yoongi.

You know,” Yoongi said, not wanting to speak the words. Because somehow it felt embarrassing. Because maybe it wasn't what Jimin was trying to do. Maybe the boy had indeed had enough of their history teacher. Maybe it was him in his late rebellious phase.

Maybe it was him, wanting to say thank you for something else.

For giving him a second chance. For not making his fear into a reality, running away to Seoul and leaving him there alone. For giving him a place to stay when he was having a fight with his parents. For going along with his stupid impromptu plans. For walking home with him every day.

For giving a little color in his dull, colorless sky.

Jimin didn't push him anymore than that, the boy just turned his head towards him as he avoided his look and having his fixed on the sky like always instead. But from the corner of his eyes he could see Jimin's smiling softly, finding the answer and the hidden message already without him having to speak it.

You're welcome.”

 

The brat and I ended up with a two month s long detention

 

 

Chapter Text

Their detention consisted of not only cleaning duty, but any other possible methods of torture that not only Mrs. Oh, but the whole teaching staff could come out with. It wasn't only Mrs. Oh that ordered them around, the other teachers finally using their service for some use. The two of them ended up as slaves, having to clean the dusty old record room the next following day. The thickening dust and foul smell got Yoongi's eyes tearing up. Jimin, on the other hand, was still worried about such nonsensical thing as supernatural being, Taehyung scaring him this time with the rumor of loud-shrieking noises resounding throughout the school building every time the sun set like a freakish alarm clock of some sort.

With Suneung coming in, school started to be a burden Yoongi never thought it would ever be in his life. Extra study and lesson s were dawning upon them. School ended a few hours later than it did the earlier semester, which with their detention meant that Yoongi and Jimin would be leaving the school building somewhere close to eight in the evening. Namjoon started to help him with his studies and frankly, Yoongi wanted to say that he didn't care about it all. The dream of leaving the town for Seoul was still lingering in his mind most of the time, his notebook being filled with more and more words of frustration each night.

Detention at least gave him an actual reason for arriving home late. Lately, being home was a curse of its own, his father's dawning look indicated that a lecture was about to come whether Yoongi liked it or not. He did a pretty good job of avoiding his parents for almost a week, sneaking in to his room or crashing at Namjoon's place (he barely ever had dinner at his own house ever since he made up with Jimin again, the old Park was more than happy to welcome him, even after the horrible thing that he did).

But of course, he knew his little game of hide and seek wouldn't go on forever, with forever turned out to be nothing but Saturday the following week, as he was about to sneak out once again for another game of basketball. It was a stern voice of his father calling out to him to have something called 'a talk with my son'.

Yoongi shouldn't actually be surprised with how the said 'talk' ended with the two of them screaming, his mother standing at the corner of the living room with hands covering her mouth, crying. His brother was there this time, watching in horror as the two Mins exchanged insults, raising their tone higher with fist tightened and jaws clenched. Last time it was Yoongi breaking his legs that got him going back home and since then they simply had a truce, postponing a war that would break out sooner or later. He knew this was coming and Yoongi wasn't surprised as well when it ended up with his father slapping him hard on the face after he called the elder a dimwitted coward. The slap didn't surprise him, nor the next fist that landed on his nose as he told his father with a condescending tone that if he wanted to punch his own son, the least he could do was to punch him like a man.

It took his own brother grabbing his father's hand, prying the old Min's bloody fist from his younger son who was on the ground, holding his own bleeding nose. All of that didn't surprise Yoongi at all. In fact it got him smiling even wider.

What surprised him however was his father, pointing his finger at the door with a stern voice afterward, chest heaving with anger, eyes looking at his own son with disgust and disappointment.

Fine, do as you want. Leave this house like you always wanted and don't ever think about coming back!” he said.

It was what he always wanted and his father was giving him exactly that. He should be happy, should be ecstatic and smiling even wider. Yet it surprised him instead, the fact that it was happening, or the fact that his father did throw him out. Before that, it was always Yoongi who stormed out of the door first before his father even got to finish the sentence. This time he finally got what he wanted, yet he was frozen on the floor, looking back at his own father in disbelief.

You hear me, don't you? What are you waiting for? Leave this house this instance! You're no son of mine,” his father said before turning his back from Yoongi.

His mother quickly came into the conversation, speaking for the first time, telling his father how harsh of a decision it was. The same went for his brother, telling his father to cool down at first and rethink about his decision. But of course, Yoongi wasn't a coward. He wasn't his father. He got the guts to achieve his dream and that was exactly what he did as he st ood up and r a n for the door, disregarding his mother's yell or even the blood that poured out of his nose as he ran faster and faster.

His feet brought him to the field right at the side of the forest where the gang had decided to meet up for basketball. They were oblivious at first, joking from the distance about how late Yoongi decided to show up and how they started to get bored with Namjoon's awful dribble.

It wasn't until he was closer from view and the blood on his nose being apparent, did the smile disappear from their faces. The six of them quickly huddled closer, asking him whether he was all right as he tried to catch his breath, hands trying to reach for his nose which at this point had grown numb. Seokjin gave him a clean towel to stop the bleeding with and he spent the next ten minutes or so just sitting there, trying to calm himself with Jimin patting his back.

What happened, hyung?” Namjoon asked. “Who did this to you?”

My own father, he wanted to say. His own father finally having the guts to smack some physical sense into his rebellious youngest son. His own father finally giving him what he wanted. His own father finally kicking him out of the house.

He wanted to say all of that. He should actually be happy, should be laughing in joy. Yet he found himself at a loss of word, the numbness of his nose finally replaced by an ache that spread throughout his entire body.

Jimin had somehow noticed that because the younger came closer, squatting in front of him and placing one hand on his shoulder before asking gently . “Hyung, what could we do for you now?” he said calmly.

And oddly, he already got an answer for this one, it just popped into his head as random as the six of his friend could ever be.

That moment Yoongi had to remind himself how glad he was to have friends like them, because not once in his life had they ever disappointed him.


+.-.+


Are your nose still bleeding?” Seokjin asked as they walked pass the field and into the canopy of the woods.

Nah, it's better,” he said. “It's just aching now.”

Good then,” the elder said, walking right beside him. He turned his attention towards Yoongi before squinting his eyes, making sure that he was indeed okay. “You got a torn lip as well. You should have let me take care of that before we went for the tunnel.”

Yoongi touched his lips only to find the crimson of blood at the tip of his finger, though he couldn't really tell whether it was the skin of his lips being torn or the blood from his nose. Either way it didn't really matter to him and that was exactly what he said to Seokjin. “It's okay, it'll heal in a couple of days.”

Seokjin still gave him a concerned look before their eldest sighed and turned his head back towards the road.

He didn't know why he said that, but that moment as Jimin asked him what they could do, he just randomly and suddenly thought about the Auraji Train Tunnel, telling his friends that they could bring him there if helping him was something that they ever considered. The six of them just raised their eyebrows, wondering why Yoongi ended up with such a strange request, but no one really complained or asked either as they went back to their respective houses to grab stuff for the trip soon after. He went back with Seokjin who tried his best to treat his wound.

That was practically the story of how the seven of them ended up walking down the path towards the Auraji Train Tunnel with one of them leaving drops of blood halfway along the road . Th e last time they went there was during summer, the sky was blue and the field that they crossed were colored green. This time the sky was getting darker as they headed up there a bit later. Not only that, Yoongi could see how the green had disappeared, replaced by the same red that painted his face. The once warm breeze that accompanied them was now a chilling wind, something that wasn't as amiable as its summer counterpart.

Yoongi respected how his friends didn't try to pry. They didn't bombard him with questions, they ended up not asking altogether after they started the trip. In fact, Taehyung had started to act as if nothing had happened, as if Yoongi didn't have a bleeding nose and the trip was something planned long ago instead of a random wish that Yoongi pulled out from god-knows-where. Planned or not, the younger seemed to be happy that they were going to at least spent an entire night together and had begun to tease Hoseok with another chance of a horror story around a bonfire.

Namjoon and Seokjin were a bit more cautious, giving Yoongi a look that he tried to avoid. Other than uttering his impromptu wish of spending a night at the Auraji Train Tunnel, he hadn't really said much after that. Jimin on the other hand was the most worried. Yoongi could tell by how the younger walked a little bit closer with eyes constantly venturing towards him.

Still, he kept his mouth shut, trying to focus on how Jungkook had Taehyung sitting on his shoulder while trying to perform somersault instead. When that didn't work, he raised his head to see the sky as they passed the woods, trying to search for the love of his life, wondering whether it could calm him down. Yet the stars decided to hide themselves from view that day, leaving him with a dull black sky as night replaced the sun. Were they mocking him now, working together with his father behind his back, probably celebrating with the old man for finally getting rid of his insolent son?

The couch that they left at the tunnel i n summer was still intact, the same went to the empty drum they used to make a bonfire with. Taehyung and Jungkook tried to make some fire from twigs and some abandoned sheet of papers, while Namjoon and Hoseok threw some blankets on the couch, making the place a bit more comfy. Seokjin pulled out the food he had packed and before long the seven of them were huddling around each other around the bonfire, trying to keep themselves warm.

Going there in autumn certainly meant that the night would feel a little bit more chilling than the summer night, but at least they could still pull through it in September. A few weeks more towards November and Yoongi would realize that asking them to spend a night there would simply be suicide. After all, tomorrow would be Sunday and he was clearly in need of some company, one that hopefully could take his mind off of his troubles.

H is friends surely did a good job at that, Taehyung started with his promised horror story before it turned into another orchestra of Hoseok's shriek. They ended up teasing Seokjin about his relationship with Minju and their eldest blushed.

I could totally imagine hyung and noona opening a restaurant downtown and raising their children here,” Jungkook said.

Oh, does this mean that Seokjin-hyung got your permission already?” teased Hoseok.

Jungkook let out a small laugh. “I mean, why not? I would be more than happy to be related with Seokjin-hyung.”

You're only saying that to have free beef every day,” Taehyung teased their youngest.

Well, all of you had practically been living from me I might be starting to ask for some money in return,” Seokjin chimed in.

What about you then, Jungkook?” this time Namjoon asked. “Have you decided which university to apply?”

Soon enough it was the topic of future once again, one that Yoongi would really try to avoid right now after what had happened. He shifted slowly from his seat, feeling himself uncomfortable under the topic of conversation. He somehow wished Namjoon could take that question back.

I don't know. I still got a year ahead of me,” their youngest said.

Which meant that I'm still as well,” Taehyung quickly came in before hugging Jungkook from behind, ruffling the boy's hair. “I'm not going to leave our maknae in this town alone while you all left for Seoul.”

Seoul. It wouldn't be a mere dream anymore. It was going to be a reality, a definite one. With no home behind him he wouldn't have any other option but to keep going further. Yet with no home to return to he felt-,

Are you all right, hyung?” a voice calmly asked.

And of course it was Jimin, sitting next to him with one hand on his arm, realizing how unsettled he seemed.

With that the conversation just somehow died, the others' eyes turned towards him as well. Yoongi looked at all of them in the eyes one by one. He clearly didn't like the attention, hoping that they could go on with their stories, disregarding the bigger question that actually brought all of them to this place under his wish. But somehow, he found himself opening his mouth instead, telling them something that he thought he would want to keep to himself for at least the rest of the day.

My father threw me out of the house today,” he said with a monotonous tone. “He finally did.”

What came afterward was silence, the only thing he could hear was the fire crackling inside the pit and the wind howling outside. It was weird. Yoongi running away from home wasn't the first thing that had ever happened. By this time it wasn't even a surprise anymore.

Yet why did this one feel like it?

It was Taehyung who raised his voice the first time, smiling wide like usual. “Hey, it's okay, hyung. There's nothing for you to worry about.”

Yeah, we'll always support you, hyung. You know that,” this time Hoseok chimed in.

Yoongi knew that he got the best group of f riends in the world. They were here for him now, following his stupid request. Namjoon ranted about how this was the first step into adulthood, going into some philosophical bullshit about youth and independency. Seokjin, in return, offered him a place to stay if he ever needed one, and basically all of them just said how everything would turn out to be all right. But somehow, hearing those words didn't make him feel any better. Somehow, with some sort of a twisted thought, Yoongi could only think about how half-assed their words were, even though half of him knew that his friends were being genuine, wanting nothing but to help him. And thus he just nodded, having his eyes focused on the crackling fire whilst whispering a small half-assed thank you afterward.


+.-.+


They fell asleep not long after that, his friends went on to another sing along as usual, Hoseok making some beat and Namjoon rapping for them, followed by Jungkook who was surprisingly pretty good at it. Yoongi, who wasn't in the mood at all, just ended up listening. His friends certainly understood him, for they just talked, exactly like Yoongi wanted them to. Being amongst his friends had simply helped him take his mind off of his problem. But the same thing didn't really apply as they all decided to fall asleep, or simply as slumber took them in one by one. Jungkook had indeed been sleeping on Taehyung's lap, snoring lightly as the elder was still deep in his story. Seokjin was next, fluttering his eyes slowly, followed by Namjoon who rest his shoulder upon their eldest with a big yawn.

Soon enough it was the crackling fire and the howling wind once again, with Yoongi still seated on the couch, finding himself deprived of sleep. It was Gangneung all over again, him finding sleep far away from his reach. Jimin was sitting next to him and the boy seemed to already be sleeping as well. Shifting from his seat slowly, Yoongi took a step towards the entrance of the tunnel instead, feeling the cold night welcoming him.

He sat cross-legged by the edge of the tunnel, leaning his head to the wall to his right. He searched for his lover once again, hoping that they wouldn't betray him once more , but somehow, a being named god up there was totally not in his favor, hiding his beloved from view in yet another act of mockery.

When he heard another footsteps coming from behind, Yoongi wasn't even a tad bit surprised to find it to be Jimin, the boy ended up sitting next to him by the entrance of the tunnel , as if waiting for this exact moment to speak with him alone since the very start of the day.

It was indeed Gangneung all over again.

You're not really asleep, are you?” Yoongi said with a mocking tone.

You got me,” Jimin answered, not denying it at all.

Yoongi sighed. From the distance he could hear Namjoon's snore getting louder, their leader seemingly getting deeper and deeper into his sleep.

What really happened, hyung?” Jimin asked.

He didn't want to answer that, wanted to keep his mouth shut. But this was Jimin asking. And when it was Jimin who did, he somehow always found a way to betray himself, just like the stars of today decided to do.

You've heard me. My father kicked me out,” he said softly.

Jimin didn't ask him more than that. The boy just sat there next to him, simply waiting for him to say another words. He didn't ask. He was simply there and Yoongi found the words finding its way towards his own lips without him even realizing it.

I don't know. I thought I should be happy, because that's what I want, to walk out of that house, out of Yeoryang-myeon and finally have a future of my own in Seoul,” he said. That was the sole thing he had hoped for. “But I don't know why, when I finally got it in my grasp, I'm just-,”

-scared. He was scared. He was surprised that his father really got the nerve to kick him out. Before that, it was always Yoongi who ran away. It was him as well who came running back at the end. Maybe he was a hypocrite all along, protesting about how confining the town was, when the truth suggested that he simply didn't have enough courage to break out from his own prison. But this time he was out for good, no home for him to come to, no place for him to return to after every sunset.

What if nothing work out for me in Seoul?” he found himself blurting the words out. “What if I failed? I don't have a place to return to anymore.”

He was finally on his own two feet and only now did Yoongi realize how terrifying that fact was. It wasn't about the money in his wallet or the roof above his head. It was the horr i fying fact that he was simply alone.

It was silence once again (or maybe Namjoon just answered his worry through his snore). Either way Jimin didn't return his words immediately, but when he did, Yoongi found himself feeling like smacking the boy on the head instead.

You're stupid, hyung,” Jimin said with a flat tone. Too flat, in fact.

Excuse me?” Yoongi said, turning his head around. Did mockery become a new way to console someone or his Min Yoongi-ness had simply infected the pure and nice boy like Jimin?

I mean, didn't you hear what the others said today?” Jimin said. “Fine, you just lost a home. One, home. Don't you realize that you still got six others?”

Once again he found himself at a loss of words, just like back then as his father buried his fist on his face. This time it wasn't a fist that smacked him on the face. It was Jimin's words instead.

I believe that you'll do fine in Seoul, hyung. Trust me, I'm from Seoul. I know what it takes to make it there,” Jimin said, joking cheesily. Yoongi wanted to return those words with something like 'you certainly didn't' or 'being a Seoul-born didn't guarantee you such talent'. “But even if you didn't, you still got six other home to return to. Each of us would be more than happy to welcome you, hyung.”

Only now did his friends' words started to seep in, making him felt like an asshole for doubting them. The six of them did agree to his wish without them even asking, going along with anything that Yoongi said simply because he needed them.

I mean, the first time I was thrown out of my home-,” Jimin said, his tone turned sad and brooding, the boy lifting his head towards the sky, recalling his past, painful memory of Seoul. “-I really don't have anywhere else to go but here.” Jimin had indeed gone through the same or maybe even something harder than him. “And at that time, I don't even know whether I still have something called a home.”

He was indeed thrown out of his house today, but he was indeed stupid not to realize that he was already home, here inside the abandoned Auraji Train Tunnel with six other people he could call a family. He was maybe thrown out of his house, being disowned by his father, but the truth was, that house wasn't that much of a home since the very beginning, if it was to be compared with the six of them laughing underneath the starry sky after every basketball practice on Thursday.

That was his home.

You do now,” Yoongi said softly, looking at the boy next to him.

(And that was Jimin's as well)

And when Jimin turned his head to find his eyes, he realized that the stars weren't even hiding in the first place.

I know,” Jimin whispered, eyes fixed on him.

It was indeed Gangneung all over again and still Yoongi couldn't explain how he could see the entire sky laid in front of him. He wasn't lifting his head yet it was the whole galaxy of stars reflecting in the eyes of a boy who claimed to love him.

The stars weren't indeed hiding.

He had just simply looked for them at the wrong place.


+.-.+


Jungkook found Yoongi and Jimin sleeping at the edge of the tunnel in the morning, the younger got his head leaning on the elder's shoulder (with what their youngest said, a pool of dried drool staining Yoongi's favorite and probably soon-to-be only t-shirt). When sunshine blinded his eyes the next morning, Yoongi could oddly say that he started to feel better. The walk back from the tunnel even managed to make him laugh, as Taehyung and Jungkook waged a childish ma d eup war towards Hoseok and Jimin. Even though the sky wasn't blue and the sun wasn't bright, Yoongi could feel his chest getting warm from the scene (and even thought the sky was actually gray, at least this time the bruise on his face could make up for the blue that had been missing on the sky for the day).

It was Sunday as they got back to Yeoryang-myeon with a light heart and genuine smile painting their faces. And when the sun set and they were forced to return home after their promised basketball game on Saturday , Yoongi found himself having six pairs of eyes pointed towards him, not in an act of pity, nor that they were forcing him to do anything. They were simply waiting.

At that moment, what Jimin had told him the other night had simply echoed in his head.

Now, whose resident would be having the privilege of housing the great and awesome Min Yoongi for the night?” Namjoon joked.

Yoongi grinned.

He had indeed six other home for him to return to.

 

 

Chapter Text

Yoongi didn't know what his parents had been doing back home. Either way, he had made up his mind. A roof on top of his head or even money in his wallet weren't the things he was most worried about. He knew his parents wouldn't be home on Sunday and he took that opportunity to grab some clothes and any small necessities that he needed for school on Monday. And thus, nothing felt any different as he attended school the next Monday on the first week of October. History was always a bore, recess was always spent at their favorite spot, Taehyung and Jimin were always whispering suspiciously behind his back, Yujin was always smiling softly whenever the two of them ran into each other, and Jimin-,

Jimin had always been there, spending their quality time together in each detention, whether it be cleaning the bathroom or raking the entire school field or even polishing the chairs. Jimin had always been there next to him under the dusk, even when seasons had changed and the day became shorter and shier, the sun hiding its face under the horizon.

He actually went back home on Tuesday, knowing that his parents would be there waiting for him in the living room. Either way, he had done giving any fuck whatsoever, even as his mother begged him to stay, with his father sitting by the armchair, refusing to look or even acknowledge his existence. He simply took his stuff and said how he would try his best to empty his room as fast as he could before leaving again. Since then, he had been taking turns sleeping at his friends' houses. By this time all of their parents already knew Yoongi and they didn't have any problem of him spending a night there.

Yet, he hadn't stayed at Jimin's place, even though he knew that amongst the others, Jimin's grandmother would be the one that welcomed him the most, the same went for her grandson.

Of course, Jimin would be the one who welcomed him the most. How could he not?

Namjoon gathered the gang on Saturday not to play basketball but to study instead, their leader being the voice of reason, reminding them that suneung was a threat to reckon with. Jungkook who was actually free from the duty still decided to hang around, helping them with 11 th grade material that had supposedly left Yoongi's brain. He could barely remember what he had learned hours ago, let alone something that he had learned last year. The girls came by two hours into their self-study session, Minju arriving with a kiss to the cheek for Seokjin that was followed by the gang cooing and whistling afterward.

Of course Yujin came and somehow it got Yoongi tensing up, seeing as the girl giving him yet another soft genuine smile before she took her seat right next to him. He didn't know why, but the first thing that he did was to turn his head towards Jimin who sat in front of him, only to find the said boy focusing his attention at a certain math problem, completely ignoring or simply being oblivious to the scene that was unveiling before him. This shouldn't be a problem, he thought. Why did he think that Jimin would be jealous, just by having Yujin here? They were all here as friends and Yujin was simply one of them.

(And so did Jimin, right?)

They gathered until late at night, though the time spent for the actual study was over way before dinner. This time they laughed upon Seokjin's Mom's notorious homemade stew, all the while teasing Jimin for what he had said to Mrs. Oh the other day.

We didn't expect you to say such thing at all,” Yuna said. “I mean, if it's Yoongi over here, we won't be surprised.”

Why are you making me sound as if I'm the gangster of the school?” Yoongi said with a smirk at Yuna. “Don't believe all of them. If there's such thing as a role model, I'm definitely one,” he continued, pointing towards himself with a smug expression.

Yeah right. Role model for delinquents and rule-breaker,” Seokjin said, smacking Yoongi lightly on the shoulder.

But seriously, what has gotten into you, Jimin?” this time Namjoon asked.

Jimin answered their leader's question with a blush, turning his attention towards his own two feet instead. Yoongi who was sitting in front of him wanted to do the same thing, almost too comically, because of course he knew why Jimin did it.

Hey, at least Jimin did what all of us is dying to do,” Taehyung said. “I mean, you have to be completely blind not to realize that mustache.”

As a girl, I still got to say that it's a bit harsh,” chimed Yujin in.

Oh please, she's oblivious about it,” he said, before another idea popped into his head yet again. He didn't know why, it just felt like the right thing to say or do. It felt like a running joke between the two of them, something that only Yujin would certainly understand. “Bet you 10.000 won that she would come to school with a lack of facial hair next week.”

Something flashed on Yujin's face, one that spoke of challenge. That was something that he liked about the girl and her next answer determined that entirely. “Oh Min Yoongi, are you dying to lose your money once again?” she teased.

Well, at least this time I wasn't teaming up with Mrs. Oh behind my back like your bet last time with Minju-noona,” he answered.

Oh please, you'll be robbed of another 10.000 won this time as well, Min Yoongi,” she said, sticking out her tongue.

He was about to remonstrate that, coming out with another comeback at Yujin to prove her wrong when this time Taehyung nudged him, asking him whether he ever encountered a headless figure on his cleaning duty before Hoseok shrieked in, finding the topic of conversation entirely disturbing for him. It got him off of Yujin for a while and at the same time it got him suddenly thinking about Jimin. He quickly turned his head towards the boy to find him grabbing Jungkook's arm in fear upon hearing the continuation of Taehyung's story.

And Yoongi still didn't understand himself, why did all of this start to matter to him. Why was he concerned about Jimin when Yujin was there? Yujin was indeed the reason why Jimin confessed to a lie of despising him. Just days ago Jimin was probably ready to run away again to a simple scene of him conversing with the girl right after school. Yoongi should have been pissed at that and he sure as hell did back then. What he didn't understand was, why did Jimin's feeling matter more to him at this point, instead of his own, as if the boy feeling troubled or sad would result in him experiencing the same thing.

It was during his gaze at the boy, Yoongi being deep in his confusion, that Jimin finally turned his attention towards him, smiling softly before raising an eyebrow and mouthing a 'what's wrong' from the other end of the table. Yoongi just mimicked the smile, shaking his head and quickly returning his attention to yet another stupid horror story of Taehyung's.

They genuinely had fund that day, exchanging laughter with a full stomach and smile decorating their face. All of them were happy that day without any exception and Yoongi, like always, decided to put any worry that he had into that little box inside of his head and rammed it close.

At the end of the day he could only think about how ridiculous his earlier thought about him experiencing the same emotion as Jimin, since him and the brat weren't certainly sharing the same heart.


(Let alone the same feeling)


+.-.+


It was Monday evening when Mrs. Oh came up to them with a lack of certain facial hair (Yoongi was going to be 10.000 won richer) after their daily detention, relieving them from the punishment starting next week until the Suneung was over, lecturing them once again about the importance of the said exam and how despite of their impudence, she was still a teacher above all else and would be the most satisfied to have them using their precious time to prepare for the exam instead of sweeping the classroom's floor.

Either way, the both of them were practically skipping through the school gate sometime around eight, realizing that the agony of detention was finally off of them even for only a few weeks . The sky was already dark this time during fall and the stars scattered above his head were already changed, the crabs replaced by the fish and the lion giving its throne for the bull.

It was Jimin's house that he ended up in, his feet once again bringing him there without his head's consent. The old Park welcomed the both of them with her wide smile, this time going as far as pinching Yoongi's cheek. By this time Yoongi had certainly forgotten how many time s had he spent his night sitting on the dinner table beside the two Parks. Jimin told him once how his 80-years-old grandmother really loved having Yoongi around. He told him as well in a hushed tone later on that them sitting on the dusty chairs of the dining table made the old Park felt as if she had her family back. In the back of his mind, Yoongi could only think about how sad it was for the old lady to eat her dinner each night alone before Jimin ended up living with her.

They talked in the kitchen with Jimin's grandmother telling the both of them the story of how she met Jimin's grandfather for the first time in their lovely little town of Yeoryang-myeon as Jimin and Yoongi washed the dishes together.

And of course he took me down to the Songcheon River on one beautiful summer day and we sit there by the river upon the grass until he sun set. That was the first time he ever took my hand and I had to wait all day long until night fall, can you imagine that?” she ranted on, making Yoongi smile in return.

That time, oh it was six decades ago. It was funny how I could still remember that night, sitting there on the grass. I could even still remember how the weather was like that day. It was the kind of warm that made your skin tingle, your hair constantly being blown by the summer breeze,” she said in a melancholic tone.

And Yoongi could imagine it alongside her as if he was there. The river would glisten underneath the moonlight, the trees would be green, whispering silently to the couple, telling them how they should end the night with a kiss, just like what the sun and the moon longed to do. Just a simple kiss between two lovers, one that would brighten up the day, making the stars danced and the moon smiled longingly from afar, envy for the love blooming under her watch.

Your grandfather was a coward, Jimin. We looked into each other eyes and I know it was going to happen. I know it,” she said reassuringly, her eyes looking far away into the distance, remembering a scene that Yoongi bet meant the entire world for her, one that changed the course of her life. “We were leaning closer but he just had to stop, pulling his face back again out of fear. He was afraid, Jimin. Your grandfather. Afraid to kiss a girl. Can you believe that?”

So did you two kiss or not?” Jimin asked.

The old Park let out a small smirk.

Oh I was so disappointed. At that moment I was so so disappointed. You know what I do, Jimin? That exact moment I grabbed him by the face and I said, 'If you're not going to kiss me, than I am'.”

Jimin's mouth opened in an awe.

So you did?”

She looked at Jimin teasingly, letting out a sly smile that made Yoongi want to laugh. “If I hadn't, you wouldn't be born in this world, my grandson.”

Oh my god, I can't believe you did that!” Jimin said, looking genuinely surprised.

Oh, your grandmother is someone who knows what she wants,” she said before this time turning her attention towards Yoongi. “And how about you, Yoongi? Did you have a similar story?”

Yoongi answered it with a laugh. He could tell her how his unchanging sky looked compared to her, how the beauty drove him to excitement but of couse with an absence of that certain someone for him to kiss.

No,” he answered truthfully.

Yet,” she quickly said as if correcting him, putting out her forefinger towards him in a lecturing manner that he oddly didn't mind. “Not yet.”


+.-.+


They talked until almost midnight and Yoongi certainly didn't realize it until the old Park walked slowly towards the living room, reminding them that she needed to take the extra bed sheet for Yoongi. He quickly said that she didn't need to bother herself with such thing.

Why? You're staying over for the night, aren't you?” the old Park said to him.

Yoongi hadn't honestly thought about that. Most of his stuff was at Seokjin or Namjoon since their houses were the closest and the one they spent most of the time in after school. Since he left home he had spent at least one night at the others' place, but not Jimin. There was simply no reason behind it. Whose house he ended up in each night wasn't something he thought about too much.

Well I-,”

Then why did he think too much about this one? Was he having a second doubt about staying the night there? Was he afraid? Why should he?

It'll make Jimin happy. Aren't you, Jiminie?” this time the old Park said, turning her head towards her beloved grandson.

And Yoongi did the same thing, turning his head towards Jimin who was still standing by the kitchen door behind him. The boy had this small smile painting his face, a shy one, though his eyes somehow spoke of sadness, a longing that he couldn't really describe but was certainly there.

Was he afraid to spend a night with Jimin just because the said boy claimed to harbor feelings for him?

Tell him, Jiminie,” his grandmother said, urging him to speak.

Jimin gulped down and Yoongi knew. Of course he knew. He knew what the boy had to say, knew what Jimin wanted so desperately. It was what he wanted himself that he didn't know. It shouldn't be a problem, half his brain said. Before everything, they were friends. He had spent a night at Jimin's place as well back then and it shouldn't be a problem. That was what half of his brain said and the other half just simply-,

Well, will you, hyung?” he said slowly, his words coming out more like a whisper. “Will you stay for the night?”


+.-.+


The room was quiet. It was too quiet, he could even hear the clock ticking on the wall and the slow steady breath of his own that was entirely staged. He was even having trouble thinking how to breath. Should he breath like normal? Should he just pretend that he was asleep? How did normal people breath when they sleep? It wasn't certainly as hard as this, right? It was fall already but Yoongi found himself with a lack of air, sweat drenching his forehead and his throat feeling dry.

It was probably somewhere passed two in the morning, he couldn't really tell. He ended up spending his night at Jimin's place. Half of his brain told him that this was a good choice, reminding him that another twenty minute walk towards Namjoon house down the hill in the middle of the night wasn't definitely worth it. Yet the other half just told him-,

Nothing. They told him nothing. Yet why couldn't he sleep? Why did he keep on fidgeting in his sleep, eyes opened wide in the middle of the darkness, staring at the ceiling above his head? Was it because he simply hadn't written his journal yet? Half of the time maybe it was the problem, though this time he somehow knew that it wasn't.

Turning his head slightly, he couldn't really see whether Jimin was awake or not, the boy sleeping at the other bed beside him. Cursing under his breath, Yoongi decided to just wake up already, giving what his brain claimed to need. He sat upright on his bed and walked towards his bag by the edge of Jimin's table to fish out his journal and turned on the lamp by the table. Maybe it was indeed his journal that silently called out for him in the dark, the blank pages waiting to be filled with words, gasping to be inked with another series of swearwords and tedious mundane activity of the day. And of course after all of that he had to write about-,


I spent the night at the brat's house today.


Hyung?” a voice called out to him. Turning his head, he could see Jimin sitting up from his bed.

I'm sorry I woke you up,” Yoongi said, turning his attention back towards his journal, only to find that he actually didn't have anything to jolt down. He just simply couldn't fall asleep. Maybe it was the fact that he was sleeping in a new foreign environment (he had been doing exactly that for the past week and he could sleep just fine) or maybe today's weather being warmer than it should be (which he actually doubt). Whatever it was, he simply believed that maybe it was the universe, forbidding him from closing his eyes in peace.

No, it's fine,” Jimin answered. The bed creaked and he turned his head only to see Jimin sitting by the edge of it, looking at him. “You can't fall asleep?”

Yoongi shook his head, closing his journal before putting it back into his bag. He turned off the light and walked slowly back towards his own bed, thinking that it was rude of him to disturb Jimin's sleep.

Just go back to sleep, Jimin,” he said again, walking passed the boy before this time flicking his finger halfheartedly upon the younger's forehead.

Jimin let out a small 'ouch', rubbing his own forehead as Yoongi went back under the cover, turning around to face the wall instead and tried his best to fall asleep for the second time. He didn't hear another sound from Jimin's part and by this time he thought that he would just suck it through if he wouldn't be granted with such thing as sleep even until the sun rose in the morning.

Hey hyung.” That was until Jimin called out to him.

Yoongi simply answered him with a hum.

Do you want-,”

And Jimin paused. The boy paused before he got to say what really mattered, making Yoongi wondered what the half of the sentence would be. Because Jimin always did that, stopping midway, letting all sentences hang in the air. Yoongi turned around, facing Jimin, though in the midst of the darkness he could only tell that the boy was still sitting upright on his bed.

Do you want to-,” he said again, his voice stuttering. “-guh-go stargazing with me?”

His answer was a curving eyebrow.

What?”

Do you want to, hyung? Right now. The school field, just like you love it,” Jimin said, his voice picking up excitement. “We could bring out stuff for tomorrow's school right now as well.”

He would probably answer Jimin with a question, asking the boy's sanity. But then again half of his brain reminded him that it wasn't such a bad idea. If he couldn't indeed fall asleep for the rest of the day, why didn't he spend it doing what he loved the most?


+.-.+


The autumn sky was different. Yoongi had already expressed how much the stars had changed, though he himself couldn't really tell if he had to point it out one by one. After all, he was nothing but an admirer, one that spent his time gazing at their beauty. They arrived at the school field dressed already in their school uniform, bringing their bags for tomorrow's class. Sometimes in the back of his mind he had to remind himself how stupid this was (which indicated that the two of them was indeed part of the bulletproof boys, since random act of stupidity was certainly a trait that the seven of them shared).

When they arrived, Yoongi just let himself fall to the ground, spreading his arms and legs wide on top of the carpeted ground. It was fall which meant that the sky was a bit chilling already, but with a jacket, at least they could still manage a night out.

So how are you enjoying life as an independent man right now?” Jimin teased him as the boy laid down next to him.

I'm enjoying it a lot, thank you very much,” he said with his eyes closed, letting his other senses feel his surroundings. How the wind caressed his cheek, how the grass felt soft against his hand, how the cicadas filled the night with their orchestra, chatting towards each other with language he couldn't understand.

Enjoy this while you can since you won't be having all of this in Seoul,” Jimin said.

Seoul. It was being definite now, wasn't it? With no home to return to, he wouldn't have any other option but to walk forward. Seoul wasn't going to be just a mere dream anymore. It was his next destination.

No clear sky and beautiful sunset?” Yoongi asked, opening his eyes to find the stars scattered above his head.

Nope,” Jimin answered.

No cicadas?”

Don't even dream about it.”

How's the breeze there?”

Awful. I recommend you to save up your money for air conditioner, hyung.”

Yoongi scoffed. “I'm changing my mind, then. I won't be going to Seoul,” he joked.

Not all about the city is awful,” Jimin continued. “We have the Banpo Bridge. It'll look beautiful at night with the colorful lights.”

But everything there was simply man-made. It was a beauty that man had to chiseled out of some thousand ton piece of concrete. It wasn't the hill that they spent their summer in or the Songcheon River that glowed underneath the moonlight, both were made with nothing but the fingertip of god it self.

We have the Namsan tower. Oh, you gotta love Hongdae. Everywhere you hear, it would be music. Then there's Apgujeong, the streets always bustling with people during the day.”

That was going to be his future. Concrete jungle with hundreds of thousands of faceless people walking beside him. It would be helicopter lit sky and grey water, snaking through the rundown buildings.

There will be no more stars,” Yoongi whispered. “No more hills and fresh air.”

No more green,” Jimin added.

No more basketball on Thursday,” Yoongi suddenly found himself saying the words.

No more recess on the top of the stairs.”

No more Hoseok's shriek,” he said, letting out a small laugh.

Oh, as annoying as it is, I think I'm going to miss it,” Jimin said, turning his head towards Yoongi. “But you know what I won't miss, hyung?”

What?” Yoongi asked, still having his eyes at the sky.

History with Mrs. Oh.”

Yoongi let out a genuine laugh at that. “That one I would be happy to leave at Yeoryang-myeon.”

No more sitting with Taehyung. I would miss him.”

No more Seokjin's homemade cooking.”

No more stealing Jungkook's textbook.”

No more seeing Namjoon deflating a basketball with only his touch.”

No more going home each day after school with you, hyung,” Jimin said softly.

No more Jimin. No more walking down the road with the dusk above his head. That was the only certainty that he had each day, that he was going to spend it with Jimin under neath the scarlet sky. Each day could turn out different, but that was the single thing that would remain unchanging, an entry in his journal that would remain the same if he could keep it that way forever .

Hyung?” the boy called out to him once again. “Will we last until spring?”

The elder curved his eyebrow, turning his head to see the younger having his eyes this time fixed at the sky.

What do you mean?”

Will we stay like this?” the boy asked. “At least until spring came.”

That's absurd,” Yoongi said. “Of course we would.”

And at that moment Jimin turned his head, looking back into his eyes. His world broke right there and then, that little box in his head jammed open by force with nothing but a single gaze. There would be no more Park Jimin after this year, the Park Jimin who was his best friend, the Park Jimin who-,

Do you still love me?” he said, he found the words being a brute, finding its way to his lips without his consent.

Surprise was clear in Jimin's eye and Yoongi thought that the boy would sit upright at that moment, running away from the question like he always did. But no, he quickly gathered himself together, determination flashing before his eyes. He never saw Jimin being this serious.

Yes,” Jimin said.

It was only a single syllable. It was as easy as that, a simple yes. Yoongi didn't know why he asked about this, about something that was already clear for him.

I don't ask you to love me back,” Jimin said calmly.

Jimin's words were crystal clear to him, but at the same time something else was flashing in his head. It was the old Park's story, somehow finding itself playing on repeat in his own mind with reasons he couldn't even figure out. It wasn't even a summer day. It wasn't even the Songcheon River they were sitting beside to. The warmth didn't make his skin tingle and his hair wasn't even blown by the breeze.

I don't ask you for anything, hyung. I'm already happy with what I have.”

How about Yujin, then? He wanted to ask about that. Would it be okay if I speak with Yujin? Would it upset you? Do you want me not to talk to her anymore? It shouldn't be a problem, half of his mind thought. Jimin and him were friends and he was actually free to talk with whoever he wanted to. Still, he couldn't shake that feeling, imagining Jimin being upset. It would make him feel the same thing as well. Upset, that was.

So nothing needs to change,” Jimin said, still looking into his eyes.

That were his words, one that he kept on repeating in his head. Nothing needed to change. Jimin was in love with him and nothing needed to change. That was the fact and that was how it was going to be.

Yeah,” he whispered back.

Somehow it was the old Park's words echoing in his head again as he gazed into her grandson's eyes. And somehow Yoongi could imagine it once again. The river would glisten underneath the moonlight, the trees would be green, whispering silently to the couple, telling them how they should end the night with a kiss, just like what the sun and the moon longed to do. Just a simple kiss between two lovers, one that would brighten up the day, making the stars danced and the moon smiled longingly from afar, envy for the love blooming under her watch.

Nothing needs to change.”

There was no kiss that day. No soul being molded into one. There were only two boys, staring into each others' eyes, witnessed by the thousands of stars above.


There was no kiss that day.


(At least just yet)

 

 

Chapter Text

Yoongi and Jimin ended up sleeping on the school field that night, the breeze lulling them into a deep slumber without the two of them realizing it. They just talked about stuff like usual which contents Yoongi couldn't even remember. He didn't even remember at which point of conversation did his eyes feel heavy before he fell asleep. What he saw and heard the next day was a series of giggles and laughter, accompanied by something that felt like shadows hovering above him. As he cracked open his eyes, what greeted him next was smirking faces, watching him closely as he rubbed his eyes open with the back of his hand whilst letting out a yawn.

Turned out, both Jimin and him had slept oh-so-soundly on the school field, that they became the object of admiration by almost the entire school's inhabitant the next morning on Tuesday. He ended up bolting upright, grabbing his bag and kicked the still-sleeping Jimin heartlessly on the shin before leaving for the classroom (Jimin was even still sleeping soundly, the boy finally waking up with a yelp thanks to the kick). Of course, what he got that day was the complete mockery of the entire students, eyes locking towards him with some witty (or completely horrible) joke about sleeping on public places.

“You could always stay at my place, you know that hyung. No need to sleep on the field like that,” Hoseok said during recess, pulling a joke on him.

“Hey, it's not like that. We just went stargazing,” he said back, mumbling under his breath.

Stargazing turned out to be the wrong answer, for his friends laughed instead.

“Awh, Yoongi-hyung being so sweet. I can't believe I live to see this day,” Hoseok said, trying to hug him from behind before he turned around and smacked the younger on his head.

“I'm bitter and sour, not sweet. And stop all of this joke before I obliterate you,” he said, threatening his friends.

Though of course, they wouldn't be his friends indeed if they did listen to what he had to say.

“You two went stargazing alone? That's so romantic, hyung,” Namjoon joked.

He knew that his friends were indeed joking, but both Jimin and him knew it was something more than that. Jimin who was seated across of him had been quite during the entire conversation and Yoongi froze this time, not daring to lift his head and search for the younger's eyes.

“Oh please, hyung, if you knew anything about romance, nothing could defeat me and Hoseok,” Taehyung said suddenly, saving him from the answer, this time puckering his lips and tried to kiss Hoseok jokingly, who wasn't certainly ready for the assault.

They ended up teasing Taehyung and Hoseok for their so-called claim of being a sweet couple after the latter instinctively jerk away from the sudden assault. They all laughed along and Yoongi tried his best to go along with it. It had always been their joke, that Taehyung and Hoseok were closed to a disgusting married couple, but still they knew that it was a joke and nothing more. Even Hoseok needed to prepare himself for the banter or he wouldn't willingly let Taehyung kiss him on the cheek or have his arms wrapped around him.

Yoongi thought that their friends' tease was the worst that he would have to endure for the day. He was proven to be wrong, as they all ended up going home together with the girls, Jimin and Yoongi finally got the chance to join all of them for a trip to the mini market after being relieved temporarily from their detention.

“Even Seokjin never took me out for stargazing,” Minju teased him as all of them hung out by the mini market.

“Well, your boyfriend has a lot to learn from me, then,” he said back with a smirk.

“Still, I never thought you're the melancholic type. Since when have you and Jimin been going out behind our back, eh?” she asked again, definitely joking.

The other laughed, of course, Yoongi being the highlight of the day because he simply slept on the school field with Jimin. But something snapped inside of him, his eyes getting wide. He couldn't really tell whether it was anger or worry, whether it was him somehow feeling scared and vulnerable, or it was him being simply disgusted. He only knew that it made him uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.

“The two of you had been going back home together since forever anyway, right?” Yuna added.

“Who knew, maybe polishing chairs weren't the only thing that you two did on detention,” Minju said again, smirking, before the other responded with a clap, acknowledging how good of a joke it was.

It was nothing but a good joke, they probably thought, but it wasn't simply the case for him. They did the same thing for Hoseok and Taehyung. But they all didn't know. There was an underlying truth that they all didn't and would never know. He wanted to stop them, wanted to wipe that smile off their faces as they laughed to something that they found hilarious. Because it never was, especially to Jimin.

Surprisingly it wasn't him who put an end to it. It wasn't Min Yoongi who predictably raised his voice, putting on a serious glare and making sure that his friends shut his mouth.

“Stop it.”

It was Jimin instead, his tone sounding low, the boy who had been silent for all this time finally raising his voice.

“It's not funny,” he said again, looking at Minju right on the eyes.

They weren't expecting that at all. Yoongi was the one being teased the most and Jimin had simply been quite for the entire day. He could see the smile faltering from Minju's face, the girl getting the message that Jimin was indeed being serious. The same went for all of their friends, each one of them finally turning their attention towards Jimin before looking to the ground respectively in guilt.

Just like that the laughter died, Minju letting out a small 'sorry' before avoiding Jimin's eyes. Somehow they all did the same, avoiding the younger boy's eyes afterward, even as they went back towards their respective home, not uttering another word after that.

 

+.-.+

 

School went on like usual the following day. The teasing had subsided and Yoongi realized it was him who received it the most from his fellow peers (Ikje still teased him though, the boy supposedly holding some sort of grudge or something, he wouldn't leave him alone when he finally got something good to tease Yoongi with). Yoongi always brushed it off with a halfhearted threat of ending the other party's life (he threatened to castrate Ikje if he didn't stop the joke), whereas Jimin just kept his mouth shut, pulling out the same act of staring at the floor every time someone mentioned it.

Everything went on like usual, recess being spent like always, the others knowing their boundaries already not to mention anything pertaining that stupid joke. It was just an ordinary day with its strings of assignments and homework, notes and lectures.

Of course like any other normal day, it would be coming home from school with Jimin, waiting for him, leaning by the school gate.

He didn't come home with Jimin yesterday after their little stop at the mini market and he kind of got the message that the boy wanted to spend some time alone after what he had said to Minju and the others. He went back to Namjoon's place afterward in which he had stored most of his belongings in, his best friend even protested about all of his stuff taking half of his room already (which was simply an exaggeration).

Once again he found sleep being so distant from him that night, despite the fact that he had had the minimum amount of sleep the earlier day. It was Namjoon's loud snore and his own racing thoughts that filled the entire room. He kept on thinking about Jimin, wondering whether the boy was all right. What did he think about the whole ordeal, about the whole school teasing the two of them? It sure did make him feel uncomfortable, Yoongi could tell.

An uncomfortable Jimin meant an uncomfortable Yoongi as well, he felt like he owed an apology to Jimin somehow.

“Hey Jimin.”

The younger boy was walking ahead of him, kicking on a pebble on the ground as if he was some sort of a professional football player. The Park answered him with a hum without turning his head around, still focused on the small little pebble that he had been practically kicking from the school gate all the way to the Auraji Bridge.

“Can I talk to you about something?” he asked. Yoongi didn't really know how to express his words. What happened yesterday wasn't actually a big thing, but it made him felt as if he had done something wrong.

“About what?” Jimin said, still not turning his eyes. It was weird but he could tell from the boy's tone alone that he was actually doing fine, no hint of sadness whatsoever.

“I just want to apologize,” he muttered slowly.

Only then did Jimin turn around, looking at him with his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

They were both stopping on their tracks, standing on the Auraji Bridge with the scarlet sky above their head. The road was empty like it usually was, no passing vehicles or even fellow pedestrian. Or maybe it was Yoongi's mind playing a trick on him, because somehow that was the only scene that his mind could process. Maybe all this time there were indeed passing cars and pedestrian alike along the road that they walked on each day. But to Yoongi, it would always be Jimin and him underneath the sky and nothing more.

“About yesterday,” he said softly.

Jimin's expression didn't change. He still looked a bit confused before he stepped closer towards him.

“Why do you want to apologize?”

Yoongi didn't really know, but it felt like the right thing to do.

“I don't know, I just realized how uncomfortable you are because of the joke yesterday,” he went on, his eyes searching for the sky instead as he tried to form his thoughts and feelings into proper, understandable words that weren't just ink upon paper.

It wasn't that the day was wrong. He wouldn't give it up for anything else, stargazing with Jimin that was. It shouldn't be wrong in the slightest and that was probably why he felt uncomfortable, because the jokes made it as if it was wrong. It shouldn't be. It was normal to do such thing with your best friend.

Even if the said best friend was in love with him.

“Hey, it's all right,” Jimin said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You didn't do anything wrong. You don't have to apologize, hyung.”

“But wouldn't it bother you?”

Jimin let out a sad smile. He took his hand off of Yoongi as he heard the words and he couldn't help but to think that maybe he had used the wrong words.

“It didn't bother me at all,” he whispered again, though Yoongi could only think now that the words were nothing but lies. “It was you that I'm worried about, hyung.”

“Why?”

Jimin had his eyes on the ground again before he gulped down and looked back at Yoongi straight on the eyes.

“I was afraid that you would be disgusted by it,” he said softly. Only now did Yoongi feel the said sadness. He could feel it in his bone, Jimin's emotion reflecting upon him like a mirror. “That you would hate the joke because you know that I-”

That Jimin liked boys. That he wasn't normal, wasn't like the rest of the world expected him to be. That he probably wished for it to be true as well, hoping that society could accept him just as he was, him spending a night with the boy that he loved would be seen as something entirely normal.

For the slightest of moment, Yoongi could understand Jimin's longings. The only thing that the boy probably wanted was to be understood, to be seen as normal. He had lost all of that in Seoul and he had gotten his second chance now in Yeoryang-myeon amongst people he could call his friends. By this time, he knew already that impulsive was a trait that Min Yoongi secretly held, for he just grabbed both of Jimin's wrists at that moment, squeezing it tightly underneath his grip as if trying to make sure that he got his point through.

“So what's the deal if you liked men. I don't care. You could like bigfoot or yeti or fucking Mrs. Oh for all I care and you would still be my best friend,” he said.

Jimin's eyes widened and Yoongi could feel it as well, the sadness disappearing just like the sun rising at the early break of dawn in the morning, casting the dark clouds aside.

“I would never be disgusted by you,” he said, squeezing Jimin's arm tight.

The boy smiled in front of him and of course it was nothing but Jimin and him underneath the scarlet sky like always, the younger broke out into a joke about how it would still be disgusting if it was Mrs. Oh that he was harboring feeling for. It turned into Yoongi smacking Jimin's head for not appreciating his seriousness, before it was the younger who this time teased him that maybe it was him who was having a kink for women with facial hair.

Either way, it was indeed Jimin and him underneath the scarlet sky, running through the empty road of Seongcheon-gil with linked hands. He didn't really know how it happened, but Yoongi could only tell that he really didn't mind the gaps that Jimin's fingers filled upon his.

 

The brat would never disgust me.

 

+.-.+

 

October passed in a blur. They had extra studies almost every day, basketball even ended up being forgotten for a while. Namjoon turned into their own private tutor, breaking his sweat while trying to explain to Taehyung how to do basic maths again. Jungkook who was ever so kind helped them with the study, learning late until night with them even though he didn't need to. Yoongi still took turn sleeping at his friends' house, though most of the time the seven of them just stayed the night altogether after a long tiring session of history or math. But of course, Yoongi still took time to stay at Jimin's place, eating dinner together with the old Park who was more than happy to have her house filled with people again.

Something changed ever since that day, Yoongi could tell, even though he couldn't figure out what it was. It was probably the weather, everything becoming colder, the summer completely forgotten. But no, it wasn't really the weather either. Nor was it his friends who just pulled out their daily act of stupidity like he always knew they would. Nor was it Yujin, who still flashed him a warm, genuine smile, making small conversation from time to time.

And nor was it Jimin as well, the boy still smiling like always. He laughed like usual when they were amongst the seven of them, hugging Yoongi from behind in a surprising act in the middle of their rare basketball practice. They would lock eyes in the middle of a loud dinner upon Seokjin's homemade jajjangmyeon with no distinct reason. Sometimes it would be Jimin raising an eyebrow, asking whether Yoongi had something to ask before he mimicked the gesture, claiming it was the younger that wanted to do exactly that.

October did pass in a blur and before Yoongi even realized it, the road that he went through each day was now blazing red, as if he was walking on fire, the dead leaves scattered all around him, making a soft cracking noise with each step that he took.

November came knocking them off of their feet and Namjoon was starting to break under the realization that Suneung was coming in a week. With seven days being laid between them and the horrific exam, Taehyung came up with the stupidest idea of just giving up altogether, letting fate decided where it would lead the six of them to a beautiful future or pulling their head out until they were bald like the autumn's trees. Taehyung was indeed right, and it was probably the reason why they spent one night on the hill with thick layers of clothes and a pack of firework.

It was actually Seokjin who asked Jimin one day out of curiosity about what stargazing felt like, before their newest addition to the member proposed the idea of doing exactly that two nights away from the actual Suneung. His troublesome seatmate devoted himself entirely to make the night memorable, he brought along the pack of fireworks. Their youngest protested how childish it was, before ended up being the most immersed one from all of them, flailing the lit firework upon the night air, trying to make an initial of his name.

They were making a good memory, Yoongi realized. Jimin had asked him whether they would last until spring. It wouldn't spring that he would ask about. Yoongi would ask whether they would last forever. He simply couldn't imagine how, for the love of his life, would he find such friends like he had found here in Yeoryang-myeon again.

The answer would be simple.

He wouldn't.

 

+.-.+

 

“You sure you got all your pencils sharpened, hyung?” asked Jungkook.

“Don't worry. I've spent the whole night writing a cheat note on my entire arm,” Taehyung said, grinning, before Namjoon smacked him on the head.

“I couldn't sleep the entire night. I had drunk three cups of coffee today just to make sure I wouldn't drool on my answer sheet,” Seokjin said, rubbing his eyes. He clearly looked like a man deprived of sleep, the bags under his eyes were something you couldn't ignore.

“Don't let that three cups of coffee bring you to the toilet, hyung,” Hoseok said back.

They were all huddling together on the school field with the rest of the third graders, waiting to be lined up and brought to the battlefield. Jungkook was there just to cheer them up, even though he got the day off.

“Hey, don't worry, we all got this. You were all even more nervous on our first game,” Jimin said, somehow being the only one who still had a wide smile on his face.

“Well, if I was Namjoon I would be nervous whether all of the pencils that I used would break underneath my grip,” Yoongi teased him.

“Hey, such thing wouldn't happen, okay? And even if it did, ten pencils in a row wouldn't just decided to randomly break!”

 

+.-.+

 

“But two did!” Hoseok screamed out loud, soju bottle in hand and face looking extremely red. “Two pencils did fucking break!”

It was somewhere past midnight after their dreaded battle and the seven of them was probably drunk in victory. Yoongi couldn't even tell whether it was a victory or a defeat. Suneung held no significance to him since he wouldn't enter any university upon arriving to Seoul. Either way, the exam was finally over and the first thing that came to their mind afterward was a celebration, of course, the six of them plus Jungkook gathering in Seokjin's home like usual with bottles of soju ready to be opened.

“I can't believe it. How could you manage to break two fucking pencils in suneung, hyung?!” Hoseok said, being completely drunk whilst shaking Namjoon hard.

“Hey, I don't know. Blame the pencil. I'm not going to entrust my future education with Faber Castell ever again,” said Namjoon who was as much as a drunkard that Hoseok was right now.

Their eldest, like usual, was already asleep, snoring loudly on the dinner table. Almost all of them had drunk more than they should, Taehyung being even more hyperactive, shouting really loudly about the cost of freedom and being a man before pulling Jungkook into a dance. Yoongi did drink as well, thanking his ancestor at the same time for granting the Min family with something called high alcohol tolerance. It seemed like he was the only one who was still keeping his sanity, the red on his face being the only proof of the amount of alcohol that he had chugged.

“I can't believe Taehyung managed to coax Jungkook into waltz-dancing with him,” Jimin commented slowly as they witnessed the uncanny scene of the Jeon Jungkook hugging Taehyung like a little princess, the both of them tiptoeing across the room. Jungkook was certainly losing it as well for a wide smile was blooming across his red face.

Yoongi turned his head towards Jimin, the boy looking much sober than he had expected. Too sober for his liking, actually. Back then, Yoongi was the one in their group who could withstand the highest amount of alcohol. Now it seemed like he was having a competition and his pride definitely wouldn't be having that.

“Hey, why aren't you drunk?” Yoongi joked, nudging the boy.

Jimin let out a smirk.

“I had plenty of practice back there in Seoul, hyung,” the younger answered, nudging him back harder.

Even if Min Yoongi was indeed notorious for his alcohol tolerance, it seemed like he had indeed drunk too much this time, for Jimin's little nudge made his head spin a little bit, he even had to hold his body from falling with his hand supporting himself upon the floor.

“Hyung, don't tell me you've drunk too much,” Jimin said, realizing it and quickly teasing Yoongi about it.

“Am not!” Yoongi quickly said, bringing himself quickly together.

But maybe Jimin was right, since his body did feel warmer and his heart beating faster. Jimin was there right next to him, keeping his eyes on him with a smile across his face.

“Yeah, you definitely are,” Jimin said again, completely taunting him and enjoying the process altogether.

“No, I'm not,” Yoongi said again, ruffling his own hair this time and rubbing his eyes against the back of his palm, trying to clear his somehow clouded view.

“Look at me, then,” Jimin said, the boy sitting cross-legged in front of him with one hand holding his shoulder tight, as if making sure that he wouldn't fall again.

Yoongi was convinced that he wasn't drunk. At least not yet. He did drink more than usual. All of them did and look at where they were right now. Seokjin was fast asleep, Taehyung and Jungkook were dancing waltz, Hoseok and Namjoon were now speaking with some sort of a non comprehensible toddler language towards each other in what looked like a fight. And him? He was only there watching his other friends made a fool out of themselves, being completely sober with yet the also sober Park Jimin in front of him.

“Look at me if you're not drunk,” Jimin said, his voice somehow turning into a low whisper, the grip on his shoulder feeling tighter.

“Or what?” Yoongi said, taunting the boy back. His eyes were still fixed on the tiled floor with a small smirk blooming on his face. He certainly didn't drink that much but his head was starting to spin a bit.

It was Park Jimin who was too sober for his own good now. Park Jimin his best friend.

“Or I would have-,”

(Park Jimin who said that nothing needed to change. Park Jimin who was still in love with him.)

Yoongi lifted his head and saw his Park Jimin on the eyes. He was convinced that he wasn't drunk but his heart did beat faster and his body feeling warmer.

One thought crossed his mind that moment.

Since when did looking into Park Jimin's eyes became so unbearable?

 

(“Or you would have what?” Yoongi asked later, which Jimin of course answered with a shake of his head followed by a low “Nothing.”)

 

The brat is surprisingly good with alcohol.

 

 

Chapter Text

Suneung was indeed over but their punishment wasn't. Turned out that Mrs. Oh relieved them of their detention only for their suneung's preparation. With the said exam finally over, they still got yet a few weeks left of detention to go through. After much debate, Mrs. Oh decided that a week would sufficed, considering they had done indeed one hell of a good job at their first month. That was pretty much the story of how they found themselves on cleaning duty yet again, this time having to clean the gym's dusty storeroom.

It were rows of dusty mattresses and thick dust that greeted them. It wasn't until Jimin let out a loud 'ew' did Yoongi turn his attention towards the younger who was leaping backwards as if he just encountered something entirely disgusting.

What? You found some dead animal or something?” Yoongi asked, walking towards the boy who was cleaning the edge of the storeroom just minutes ago.

'Worse' was what Jimin answered him with, a nd 'worse' turned out to be a used condom lying on the dusty floor, clearly being forgotten by the perpetrator after a quick fuck.

Hey, I do think it's natural for you to come across such thing on the school ground, hyung,” Namjoon said as they ended up gossiping about their discovery on recess. “I mean, I would actually be confused if I hadn't found one.”

Oh please, Namjoon. No one's such a pervert like you,” Seokjin said.

Hey, please watch your tongue. We got a fetus over here,” Hoseok then said, covering Jungkook's ear in a joking manner, in which their youngest quickly answered with a shove and a protest of 'I'm sixteen already.'

So what? Someone in school was having sex in the gym storeroom. No big deal,” Namjoon said.

Yoongi had to agree on that. He wasn't really surprised to find a used condom lying on some random places at school. It would be the fact that he had to clean something that was once smeared with someone 's bodily fluid that he found disgusting (he flipped a coin with Jimin to determine who had to get rid of it. Jimin lost at the end, of course ).

That was kinky as hell. Couldn't they do stuff like that privately in their bedroom or something?” this time Jungkook chimed in.

That's exactly why you're a fetus, Jungkookie,” Hoseok said, slinging his arm across Jungkook's back. “You wouldn't be a true adult if you didn't find the appeal on that.”

Jungkook answered it with a scoff. “That would only make me a pervert.”


+.-.+


The thing about suneung being over was how the students practically didn't have any strength left to drag their butts to school, though somehow it was still obligatory for them to sit in front of the blackboard each day, even though there was very little material left for them to study with. They still got the interview waiting, at least for those who was aiming to enter a high-ranking university of such like Namjoon. But for those like Yoongi, school had become something that he attended only to spend his time with his friends in. Every recess spent on the stairs had somehow become more valuable. Even now he could find something that he would miss from the wooden seat that he had placed his butts on for the last year. Yoongi had slowly found himself being more melancholic, each lyrics that he scribbled down his notebook becoming more and more sentimental. Each day started to feel like an invisible countdown.

And then there was Jimin.

Something changed since that day they spent stargazing on the field late at night. Yoongi couldn't really put a word into it. It was the same feeling as how he realized that Jimin had changed from the depressing weird boy into a member of the Bulletproof Boys. Only this time, he couldn't tell what had changed. He had been sleeping at Jimin's place for almost a consecutive week without no apparent reason. One time he had already bathed at Namjoon's only to leave his friend's house for Jimin's randomly in the middle of the night simply because his gut instinct told him to.

And each time he didn't regret it, as he was about to close his eyes, looking back to the boy who reminded him of the sky with wide smile, whispering him a small 'good night'. Nothing didn't really change but at the same time everything did.

It was a Monday night with very little thing to do at school and a somber sky above their head the entire day when Yoongi woke up around five in the morning, almost an hour earlier than he should have. It wasn't a bad dream that woke him up. It was just his body being shitty to itself, his eyes opened up to a ceiling foreign to his own.

He turned around and the face of Park Jimin reminded himself that he hadn't been sleeping on his own room for the last few weeks indeed. The boy was still fast asleep, face looking peaceful like always. Smiling, Yoongi decided not to bother him and walked down towards the kitchen instead to fix himself something to eat. What greeted him afterward was the sight of the old Park, sitting on the table with a freshly brewed tea.

Oh, Yoongi-ah, you're awake,” she said, cracking a smile.

He ended up sitting there with the nice old Park, chatting away as the sun rose with a cup of warm tea on his hand . Her stories were always the most interesting. She had been living in this town for almost her whole life, her children leaving her as soon as they were old enough to have a life of their own. Her husband had left her a few years back and she told him how lonely of a life it was.

Don't you think this town is suffocating?” he asked.

She gave him a weird look. “Suffocating? No, not at all. Yoongi-ah, I have indeed lived my whole life here, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen the world. I have seen Seoul, Busan and Jeju. I have been to Tokyo and Hokkaido. But believe me, after everything, nothing would compare to your own home.”

She was raising her finger towards Yoongi in a lecturing manner and he found himself enthralled with the imagination of the once young and adventurous Park in her twenties, seeing the world.

You're always bound to go home,” she said, her words echoing through his bones.

She took a sip of her tea and Yoongi was left thinking about how Seoul was going to be. At the start of the year he was certain that Seoul would be magnificent. He was certain that he would leave Yeoryang-myeon for good. Almost a year had passed and a lot had changed indeed.

I have to thank you, though, Min Yoongi,” she suddenly said, placing her cup of tea at the same time.

Yoongi furrowed his brows, noticing that the topic of conversation had changed. He didn't need to ask for an explanation because the old Park had quickly caught on his confusion, smiling softly much like her grandson did as she spoke to him again.

For what you did for Jimin.”

What do you mean?” Yoongi asked cautiously.

Did she know, Yoongi thought. Did she know about what happened in Seoul? About why Jimin was here in the first place? He would bet that she did know, considering how closed Jimin was with her. But the question was, did she know about Jimin's feeling for him? At the same time Yoongi couldn't help but to guess what she was trying to imply.

But somehow he understood that the old Park wasn't speaking in puzzles. She was nothing but a grandmother who loved her grandson dearly.

Thank you, Yoongi-ah, for giving Jimin a home,” she said again.

Yoongi couldn't help but to feel warm. It was the sun rising slowly through the window and the hot cup of sweet tea that warmed his inside. Or probably this was indeed a special trait of the Parks, the ability to share their warmth with others.

You're welcome,” he said again before he somehow found himself returning the words. “He had done the same for me as well.”

The old Park nodded slowly before she made him promise upon something that he couldn't forget for the rest of his life.

Would you take care of him?”


Yoongi smiled. This moment would be something that he would oddly remember for a long time.


Of course.”


+.-.+


November got the sky gr a y and somber. Even without the blue, Yoongi was still inexplicably in love. The sky could be everything and he would still fall in love with it. It could one day be mint green and he would still have his eyes fixed upon them. School was a blur to him. He was still getting teased for that little sleepover on the school field but nothing was too serious for him not to handle . Even Mrs. Oh was starting to be tolerable. He could only hope that he wouldn't be too sentimental and finding himself missing her some time later in Seoul.

He slept at Jimin's place almost every day during November. They still spent their detention together, cleaning up certain places at school. Yoongi didn't know why but he didn't find himself hating it. Afterward he would walk back from the school together with the boy, having yet another cheerful dinner with the old Park and fell asleep to Jimin's whisper of a good night, before his good morning greeted him as soon as the sun rose.

It was their last day on detention on yet another Thursday did Yoongi look at Jimin and a small piece of epiphany hit him like a train. The sky was dark outside, the first hints of rain had been falling way before the last bell rang. Mrs. Oh had lectured them once again about consequences and respecting elderly, just to make sure that they had indeed learned their lesson, before ordering them to spend the last hour of their detention cleaning up the classroom. They ended up cleaning the blackboard before finding themselves to lazy to do anything else, since by now, almost all of the seats and tables in the classroom was shining because of their months long hard work.

It's raining outside,” Jimin said, stating the obvious as he stood by the edge of the window.

There was actually very little thing to do, but somehow Yoongi didn't find the urge to leave the room, even when the others had said something about a basketball practice on recess. Yoongi was sitting on his usual seat, feet on top of his table like a delinquent with hands behind head. He turned his head towards the window, seeing the dark sky waiting outside. Autumn rain wasn't as hard as its summer relative , but it was still a rain nonetheless, the soft music filling the universe with each beat of its drum against the ground.

You don't want to join the others for the game?” Jimin asked him.

Once again, he wasn't called motionless Min without a reason. After all, he found lounging in the classroom with t he rain playing its music against the window pretty relaxing. This was indeed his very last detention with Jimin. Maybe in the future he would find himself oddly missing this moment as well.

I said to them I'll catch up later. Or Jungkook could come and get me when Namjoon finally wanted a break,” he said with his eyes closed.

Hey hyung, do you remember the first time we met?” Jimin asked suddenly.

When you're introduced to the whole class? You keep looking on the ground I even had a hard time remembering your face.”

No,” the younger protested. “When we really met each other.”

Yoongi cracked his eyes open, only to have Jimin looking back at him.

When we talk for the first time,” he said softly.

He kept on thinking that something had changed. That moment he realized that a lot had indeed changed, but nothing did at the same time.

It was raining that day as well,” the younger said, smiling softly.

Yoongi slowly got up from his seat and walked towards Jimin who was standing by the window. He remembered that day, forgetting his notebook only to find a strange boy crying in the classroom. Ever since then, his cries had been the one he remembered the most. The same went to standing in front of the classroom and strings of detention and misfortune that he received on history lesson.

I always thought that you were weird,” Yoongi said, chuckling.

Hey, that's mean, hyung,” Jimin said, elbowing him.

It was odd but he found himself in the same situation as the first time he actually got to speak to Park Jimin. Inside of the classroom when the sun was slowly setting and not a living soul nearby. Everything felt like a broken record on repeat. How he found himself sleeping on Jimin's place after a feud with his family, how they found themselves walking to the Auraji Train Tunnel, or how that one sleepless night felt like Gangneung all over again. Or maybe it was indeed a broken record on repeat with each sunset he had spent with Park Jimin beside him.

I don't know, I used to hate seeing you cry,” he found himself speaking the words, eyes fixed on the window once again.

Don't you still do?”

Half the time all I wanted to do was to smack your face so you would stop crying.”

Jimin cringed at that before protesting, “You're horrible on comforting people, hyung.”

He had witnessed it countless time and it grew from him hating it to him feeling like he was suffocating. From the very first moment he had thought that Jimin was simply weird. He was really weird that he couldn't stop paying attention to a boy that stood out like a sore thumb.

But I never knew why,” he said again before he turned his head towards Jimin next to him. “I never knew why you always stood up the most.”

It was probably the most sincere that Yoongi could ever be. He didn't know why he said those words, but something did change in Jimin's eyes as he heard it . The boy looked-, surprised.

Yoongi let out a chuckle before he ruffled the boy's hair.

Hey, don't be too cocky. Maybe I've been hating you all along,” he said, letting out his tongue in a joking manner.

His hand stayed on top of Jimin's head. Park Jimin who was one centimeter shorter than him. A year had passed and he felt like that one centimeter was gone now.

I mean, with all those stupid expressions.”

I didn't make stupid expressions! It's Taehyung who did stuff like that.”

Or your cries. No one cries as much as you.”

It's perfectly natural to let your emotion out, hyung.” Jimin answered, pouting.

Not in public places, I have to remind you.”

Hey, at least I waited until the others left. I should have been alone. You were the one who came barging in the first time.”

Yoongi smirked.

There are tons of things I could hate from you anyway.”

That was true. He could claim that he hated Jimin. He could say how he hated seeing Jimin cry. Or how he had practically broke his leg for his terrible bike-riding. Or how he kept on bugging him during his random private moment in the middle of a sleepless night. Or how he was being stubborn about sitting in the middle of a road with him. Or how he got him into a two months long detention. Or how he decided to randomly stargaze in the middle of school week, only to get teased by the whole school for it.

He could claim that he hated Jimin as much as the boy claimed to hate him.

Hyung?”

And something ticked. Yoongi blinked and it felt as if the whole universe did the same. The rain had suddenly stopped, its droplets of water being suspended on the air. The sky was suddenly blue, only to have it scarlet at the next moment before the stars intercepted its transition. They were reflected from the two irises in front of him, gazing deep into him the way he did to them.

He kept on thinking that something had changed. It could be the weather, his friends or Jimin. Mostly it was Jimin. Because normally it was always him, the boy who had changed so much in the course of one year. But maybe this time it was him. Maybe it was Min Yoongi who changed this time .

Maybe that's right,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on the scarlet sky in front of him. He didn't know since when did the sky become that close to him, standing right in front of him with longing eyes. Since when did the sky look back at him?

Maybe I hated you.”

The sun was surprised and the moon was bewildered. The blue took a step forward and the Libra took his fingers gently, the scarlet exchanging its breath with him. The stars were wrapping him in their embrace and all he wanted to do was to drown in them, letting himself melt away. Because for once they were only a mere grasp away.

Maybe I really really hated you.”

He blinked and the rain fell again this time, its droplets of water thrumming against the ground. He blinked and it was Park Jimin looking back at him with wide eyes. It was his Park Jimin. It was his Park Jimin whose gaze Yoongi somehow couldn't withstand anymore, it made his heart clenched and heart beat faster.

You love me?” Jimin whispered back.

Did I just say that?

I-,”

But Jimin leaned towards him before he could finish his sentence. It was a soft press of lips against his, with Yoongi still having his eyes wide opened and his hands feeling stiff.

Push him aside.

But he didn’t.

This is not normal.

But this was Jimin. This was his Park Jimin. His Park Jimin who had been there for him for the entire year. His Park Jimin who said that he loved him. His Park Jimin who said that nothing needed to change and yet-,

You don’t want this.

Did he?

He closed his eyes and it was just as simple as that. He closed his eyes and just as simple as that, his Park Jimin brought him the sky that he loved the most once again. It was the moon kissing him gently whilst the sun having his hand s wrapped around him tightly. It was the blue summer sky breathing against his mouth before the scarlet sky planted a harder kiss upon his lips. He melted into the sky and found himself floating amongst them.

Min Yoongi was kissing the sky. He was kissing the sky and he loved it.

Min Yoongi was kissing Park Jimin and he loved it.

It was awkward at first but as he started to move his own lips against the younger boy's everything became more natural, it even started to feel good. The hands encircling his wrist had moved towards his neck and his own were on Jimin’s shoulder, gripping the shirt tightly. He had never done this with a boy before but in the end it was the same as kissing those younger girls back in 1st grade. No, scratch that. It didn’t feel the same. Everything didn’t feel the same when there was a Park Jimin in it.

Jimin pushed him slowly, knees between his own legs until he felt the sharp edge of the school desk behind him. He just simply knew what to do, sitting on the desk and letting Jimin planted an even harder kiss on his lips. He could feel the desperation in the younger boy’s touch, the hand that ventured towards his thigh, his own tiny sigh that echoed against the white wall.

And suddenly everything snapped. Everything that he’d rammed against the box pushed the lid open on force. As easy as that, all his worries came rushing back. The sky cracked and lightning stroke. Yoongi opened his eyes wide, his hand pushing Jimin back hard. He quickly got off the table, taking two steps back, trying to create as much space as he could from the boy whose lips were on his just seconds ago. Jimin didn’t hide his confusion, looking back at Yoongi with brows furrowed. He looked-, hurt.

What did he just do? He just kissed Park Jimin. He just kissed his best friend.

He just kissed a boy.

No, this is wrong,” Yoongi whispered. He didn’t even realize his voice was shaking. His knees felt weak at the same time and without his hand supporting his own weight on the wooden desk, Yoongi thought that he would simply fall right there and then on the floor.

Jimin was still there in front of him, looking back at him. Yoongi couldn't dare to do the same, couldn't dare to see his eyes nor those pair of lips that he had just-,

Hyung, it's-,”

Yoongi looked at the younger boy, taking a deep breath. All he could think about right now what how moments ago, the boy’s lips was on top of his. This was wrong. Everything was wrong, even when all that he wanted to do was taking a step forward and had his lips once again on-

No!” Yoongi said. “Don’t come near me.”

Hyung, no, please, I just want to-,”

Go away!” he said, almost screaming, before he found his feet turning towards the door.

Why? Why did he run away? He could stay, explained to Jimin how wrong of an action it was. That or at least apologized. Jimin wasn’t a girl who he accidentally kissed and owed an apology to. Of course he wasn’t. He was a boy for fuck sake. Park Jimin was his best friend.

His best friend who loved him sincerely.

His best friend whom he just kissed.

But running away was the only thing that he could do, all the while thinking about how wrong it was. Sure, he just kissed Jimin. But that didn't mean that he was gay. No, Min Yoongi didn’t like boy. He liked girls. Like Minju or Yujin. Yes, who didn’t like Yujin?

But Yujin wasn’t Jimin. She was never Jimin. Nobody could ever be him.

It was girls like Yujin he should have kissed inside the classroom after school. It shouldn’t be Park Jimin.

The pouring rain greeted him as his feet brought him out of the school gate, running further and further away without stopping. Even in the midst of his pants and breath, there was only one sentence that mattered most, one that he kept on repeating as if it would justify his action.

It was wrong. You’re wrong, Min Yoongi.”

Yet if it was so wrong, why did it feel really good? He couldn't deny that excitement that was building in his stomach, the heat that sent every fiber in his body tingling. His body shivered to the memory and he even hated himself for doing that, for shivering, a tint of pleasure ran its way through his spine.

It was wrong.”

 

 

Chapter Text

“And I hope you won't repeat that again, boy,” said the police officer as he patted Yoongi's shoulder and sent him off out to his mother who was waiting for him outside of the police station.

He thought that his mother would look angry. At least his father would, having his troublesome kid throwing out another tantrum, one that this time got the police involved. But surprisingly, she didn't show any sign of disdain. She was smiling instead, which made Yoongi feel worse. Her welcoming embrace made his heart hitch, though tears never found its way to his eyes. Yoongi never really cried. He had even forgotten the last time he did.

(Not like a certain someone, of course, who had probably made crying a hobby)

Yoongi disappeared again until Monday. This time no one really knew where he disappeared to. Knowing that the boy had left the house, the others got even more worried, they finally went to Yoongi's mother and contacted the cop afterward, making quite a ruckus. Yoongi would probably hate his friends for doing so, even when he realized that they were only trying to look out for him. This time he was simply too tired to be angry.

It was raining that day, just like one particular Thursday. In fact, it seemed to always be raining whenever something important happened. He was running through the rain, soaking his body wet on that Thursday, just like he did on the other.

That day he ran away without taking anything with him. Not his coat nor his bag. He just left the classroom without taking anything but his troubled mind, running along the road until his feet hurt. He didn't know how long he had been running and only when his feet couldn't take it anymore did he stop, his knees meeting the ground. It was probably in the middle of he night already when he realized that he was somewhere closed to the Auraji Train Tunnel.

Yoongi was a runaway until Monday, letting his feet brought him to different places without his head's consent. He slept on the Auraji Train Tunnel on Thursday night, tugged in blankets that the others had fortunately left on their last visit. He bought something to eat with very little money that he had on his pocket and slept on the train station on Friday. He sneaked back into his empty house on Saturday and slept on the gym's storeroom on Sunday.

He didn't know why he didn't get sick this time, considering the weather and the lack of food that he had forced his body to go through. That was probably convenient, since if that ever happened, he would probably be found lying unconscious with a high fever on the road by now. His feet had brought him once again towards the train station on Monday and by this point, his mind had impulsively come up with the idea of buying a train ticket to Seoul with the money he took from his house. That was when the police caught him walking like a zombie in the middle of the road and brought him to the station.

He didn't speak a word during their ride back home. His father was home that day and he acted as if Yoongi didn't even exist on the first place. His brother was the one who shouted at him, telling him how worried they all were and how selfish and irresponsible he was. But Yoongi stayed quite. He kept his mouth shut and locked the door to his room.

Everything was surreal. Here he was in his bedroom once again. He had been running away the last couple of days without a clear destination. He wanted to say that he had been running away for an unknown reason, but Yoongi himself knew exactly why. Last time when it rained on Thursday, he had spent his time cooped up in his bed for days, only because of a certain love confession. When he thought about it that way, it was perfectly understandable why he found himself running through the city like a ghost for the exact amount of time.

That time he was lying in bed, sick for days, the darkness of his room and the grey ceiling being his only companion. This time he had the chilling wind and the sky above his head. He had lifted his head as long as he could, hoping that the sky could comfort him like always, only to remind him of something that he tried his best to forget. And even when he closed his eyes each night, the only thing that echoed in his mind was the taste of Park Jimin's lips against his, no matter how many times had he repeat the same words like a charm over and over again.

“It was wrong.”

 

(Was it?)

 

+.-.+

 

It was yet another Tuesday as he went to school, face looking like a ghost. His friends quickly gathered around him, asking him questions and expressing their worries. Namjoon was the stern one, slapping him across his face instead the moment he saw Yoongi on school that day, telling him that he better not pull something as stupid as that again. They were all worried. A lot.

“Why the hell can't you go to us?!” Namjoon said, raising his voice.

He rarely saw Namjoon that mad, but he could actually understand what their leader was saying. He would probably do the same thing when one of his friend pulled out something as stupid as what he had done.

“Hey, Namjoon, stop it. Yoongi probably had his own reason,” Seokjin said, tapping Namjoon's shoulder lightly before turning his attention towards Yoongi. “It's all right, Yoongi. We're not mad at you. We're just worried.”

“Yeah, hyung. Please, we're always here for you,” Hoseok said.

Jungkook came with Minju next and both expressed their worry as much as the others did. They were standing on the hall just outside of the class as they one by one lectured Yoongi about how he actually meant to all of them. But it was Yujin who actually caught him off his feet, the girl just called out his name as she walked towards the classroom that day, looking at him with wide eyes.

Yoongi always knew that he didn't deserve any of Jung Yujin's warmth. He of course didn't deserve the girl's hug as well, as she just walked towards him and wrapped her hands around him in front of his other friends without uttering another word.

“You're so stupid,” she whispered to his ear as she hugged him tighter. “Don't you ever do that again.”

He answered her by returning the hug, thinking how he certainly didn't deserve her kindness. Why couldn't it be her instead? Why couldn't it be Jung Yujin that he kissed in the classroom that day? Why did it have to be-,

“Hyung?”

It was a whisper, or maybe the word hadn't even left the boy's lips yet. But somehow Yoongi could hear it. He turned his head towards the voice and had his eyes met the ones that mattered the most.

It was Park Jimin, standing there on the hallway with Taehyung next to him, looking at him as Yujin was wrapping her hands around him.

“You're back.”

It was the boy he was running away from, putting on a smile that cut his heart deep. His heart clenched and his knees felt weak again. His heart pounded and all he wanted to do was to run away again, just like what Jimin had done back then. This time it was him who did because everything was so wrong. He had to simply run away until he could fix it.

(Like running away could ever fix anything)

He didn't dare to turn his head around during the lesson, knowing that Park Jimin was sitting behind him. He didn't dare to lay his eyes on the boy. In fact he couldn't stand sitting on the classroom as well, remembering a certain something that happened back then on Thursday in this very room. He knew that his friends would be waiting for him on recess, yet he just left for the gym storeroom, lying upon the mattress, having his eyes fixed on the ceiling. These days he found looking at the ceiling more bearable than the sky that he loved. For once he found the dull, decaying white on the ceiling more appealing than the vast blue that drowned him in. At least those phantom white would only remind him how the roof needed repairing or some painting over, when the vast blue and white clouds above would remind him of a certain boy instead.

He didn't finish school that day, letting his feet brought him back home sometime before the second recess. For the first time, Yoongi wasn't having his head lifted to the sky.

He had his eyes fixed on the ground for the remaining walk instead.

 

+.-.+

 

School shouldn't be important anymore. He didn't care about his suneung's score. He should actually pour his effort into thinking about what he was going to do in Seoul. Yet he could only find himself lying on his bed most of the time, thinking about running away. He thought about going underground, a place where the sunlight wouldn't reach him. A place where the sky was hidden from view.

It was Jung Yujin's brave voice that called out to him that early morning on Wednesday, his mother telling him that the girl was waiting for him.

“What are you doing here?” he said, seeing as the girl was dressed in her school uniform, ready to go to school. Her house was way closer to the school than his and this meant she had spent her time walking from her house to his in the ass crack of morning to do something that Yoongi was questioning right now.

“I'm fulfilling our promise,” she said, rummaging her bag before taking out a 10.000 won note and handing it to Yoongi.

“What?”

This was nonsensical. A girl, coming to his house only to deliver some money.

“We made a bet back then, remember? About Mrs. Oh,” she said. “I lost.”

The memory hit him like a train. And with that, something made him sigh. Why couldn't it be her, he thought. Why couldn't he lift his head right now and see that the sky was fixed. That the sunrise was once again beautiful instead of agonizing. That each strand of clouds would remind him of her.

But it reminded him of Park Jimin instead. It always did.

“It's weeks ago. You don't have to do this right now,” he said.

His words seemed cold to her, Yoongi could tell, for something flashed on her face in a second before another wide smile replaced it. Jung Yujin. She hid her expression as best as a sudden summer rain.

“It's okay,” she said. “Please take it, Yoongi.”

He definitely didn't deserve this.

“Why are you doing this?”

He knew the answer. He probably knew. But instead she just smiled warmly before continuing.

“I just wish you'll come to school again.”

That was what his friends had been wishing for him to do. But if he did than he would meet Park Jimin. And when he saw Park Jimin he-,

“Tell you what. Fine, you don't have to take this one, but I'm making another bet right now,” she suddenly said. “I bet you 10.000 won that Min Yoongi wouldn't go to school today.”

Her words hurt him more instead. That was their running joke. It was something that only the two of them talked about and how she brought it up now just made him feel even more guilty. He could only answer her with a smile. Years from now he probably had Jung Yujin to thank for.

“You're going to be broke, Jung Yujin.”

 

+.-.+

 

Every time he remembered about that day it hurt. Every time he looked at the sky it hurt. Every time he looked at Jimin it hurt. He tried his best to keep his eyes away from the boy. He forced himself to come during recess with the boys hanging on their favorite spot. Jimin was there, of course, sitting across him with watchful eyes. All the time he kept his eyes on the ground. His friends didn't really ask him what was wrong, but they knew something was.

Yet the more he forced himself to be there, the more his stomach churned and his heart clenched. He thought that he could forget about it, pretended like nothing ever happened. That was the best thing to do. Deep down he knew he wanted to stay friends with Jimin. Jimin was his friends upon all things. Nothing needed to change. He would try his best to act normal, spending the time they had left in Yeoryang-myeon. Yes, that was what he would do.

The thing he did was wrong and thus it never happened. It wouldn't change anything. He could just erase that one scene. That rainy Thursday didn't exist. He never said to Jimin how he probably had been hating the boy all this time. Jimin never asked him whether he loved the boy or not. Most of all, their lips never met. The two never kissed and-,

“Hyung, can I talk to you?”

Yoongi was standing alone in the gym storeroom, inflating some spare ball for their usual basketball practice on Thursday. He had forced himself to come, knowing that Jimin would be there as well, the boy shooting him with a longing expression, one that Yoongi couldn't stand to witness.

He turned his head around to see Jimin, standing by the door of the storeroom, closing it behind him. His stomach churned with the sight of Park Jimin alone, his mind telling him to run away that very moment if he could. But didn't he just tell himself to pretend like it never happened? He shouldn't be running away. Didn't he hate Jimin so much for doing exactly that?

“About what?” he said, being oblivious to the apparent fact. Of course he knew what Jimin wanted to talk about.

Jimin took another step forward towards him.

“About yesterday, about-.”

“There's nothing to talk about,” he quickly said. “It never happened,” he added again, fixing his eyes on the ground. Because he knew that he couldn't look at Park Jimin on the eyes. He would look at Park Jimin on the eyes and he would only want to-,

“No, hyung. We need to talk about this,” Jimin said instead, something that Yoongi certainly didn't expect the boy to say. He expected the boy to stay quite, to play along with his game, letting everything forgotten into the realm of things that shouldn't be spoken of.

“No, we don't. Nothing happened,” he said, walking towards the closed door instead with his eyes still fixed on his own feet.

But Jimin raced him towards the door, stopping himself from reaching the handle.

“Step off!” Yoongi said, raising his tone.

“No,” the younger answered, sounding assured.

“Step off or I'm going to hurt you.”

“You wouldn't!”

Yoongi contemplated to do exactly that, running his punch against the boy's stomach right in front of him just to proof him wrong. Somehow he remembered about that day as the two of them stood under the rain. It was Jimin who begged Yoongi to let him go. Now it was the complete opposite.

“I'm going to count to three and you better step off.”

“Listen to me, hyung,”

“One.”

“Please just let me-,”

“Two.”

“Not until you look at me on the eyes.”

Yoongi didn't count to three. The boy just asked Yoongi to look at him on the eyes. He didn't dare to. Half of his mind told him not to. It was dangerous. Something bad would happen if he did. Another half told him that it was nothing but mere eye contact. What else could possibly happen?

So he did, raising his head and looked back into the sky in front of him if that was what it took for him to gain his freedom from this conversation he dreaded so much. But why? Why did he keep on seeing his favorite stars there in front of him?

“What are you so afraid of?” Jimin said back.

You. Yoongi wanted to say. The fact that I could see the sky in your eyes.

(And how he saw Jimin's on the sky)

He had the feeling that something had changed back then, something that he couldn't really put his finger on. He realized it was him who did and it scared the life out of him. He didn't like boys. He didn't dream about kissing a boy. He had girlfriends back then as well and he had kissed more than just one girl. Park Jimin was his best friend and nothing more. But why did he mean to him as much as the sky did?

Why did the scene of yesterday keep haunting his mind, his heart beating like mad even now and that slight feeling of excitement creeping underneath his skin?

“Now let me go,” he hissed, taking his gaze quickly away.

“Jesus, hyung. You kissed me back!” Jimin screamed. “You kissed me back and don't you dare deny that!”

He did. He kissed Jimin back and he could remember how he tasted upon his lips.

“Shut up! It never happened, okay? It was wrong.”

“Then why are you acting like this? You can't pretend like it just never happened. Don't you think about how I feel?”

Jimin used to be timid. He used to be the one who ran away. This time he was the one who confronted Yoongi. Maybe he was tired. He was tired of hoping. Yoongi gave him something and he clung on to that one single hope, determined not to ever let go.

“You're the one who said that nothing needed to change,” Yoongi said, pointing his finger towards Jimin. He knew that it was a puny excuse, to turn this around and blame it on Jimin altogether.

“But does it?” Jimin asked. “Does something change?”

He wanted to say no. Should have said no. But his mind reminded him that he would be lying if he did. Something did change. Maybe it was somewhere between their bicycle ride or their walk back towards home. Or maybe it was during their conversation underneath the moonlight. Either way, something did change and he didn't want to accept that.

He couldn't accept that.

“Answer my question, hyung,” Jimin said, as the room fell silent.

“Shut up, this conversation is over,” he said, trying to reach for the door's knob once again before Jimin blocked him yet again. They ended up struggling, Yoongi trying to get out of the room and Jimin stopping him from doing so.

“Why do you keep running away?!”

Because something changed and he was afraid. Something changed and he couldn't understand it. Something changed because when he looked at Jimin he saw the stars. When he looked at his face his stomach churned. And when he looked at Jimin he just wanted to-

“Just tell me that you don't love me then and-,”

“Shut up!”

Yoongi didn't know why he did it. He raised his head and he looked back at Jimin's eyes. Maybe half his mind thought that doing so would catch the boy off guard, providing him with the freedom he was dying to gain. The other half of him, felt like he was punched in the stomach with an invisible force. He saw the stars in Jimin's eyes once again. He remembered about that rainy day on Thursday and there was the truth he was so afraid to face, right in front of him.

Because when he looked at Park Jimin, all he wanted to do was to grab the boy by the neck and kissed him again like before.

And that was what he did.

He grabbed Jimin by the neck and pressed his lips hard upon the boy's. He did it without thinking, once again having all those questions rammed towards the corner of the room. Maybe he would understand it better now. Maybe he would find what he was doing repulsive, pushing the boy once again and realized that all this time he did like girls instead. Maybe this was him not having any action for the past year, his own lust speaking for him.

Or maybe this was him kissing someone that he loved. Maybe this was him kissing someone that he loved and he enjoyed every second of it, with him trapping Jimin upon the door, holding his neck and planting a harder kiss upon the boy's soft lips.

Jimin answered him just as hard of a kiss before suddenly he was the one being pushed against the adjacent wall with such force, both wrist restrained with the clutch of Jimin's fingers, the boy making sure that he wouldn’t be able to push him back again like before. At first it was Yoongi taking the lead but Jimin quickly took him over, the boy wasn't afraid whatsoever to taste every bit of Yoongi that there was, their kiss becoming more intense. Jimin's tongue played against his and slowly the fingers encircling his wrist had ventured down to his waist, gripping his shirt tightly for dear life, as if he would disappear again if he wouldn't. 

Jimin's tongue against his teeth got Yoongi's body jerking in surprise and Jimin comforted him with a sigh against his lips. He took it slowly, drawing circle upon Yoongi's waist and he knew how thirsty he was. Heck, both of them were. Jimin wasn’t every bit shy and Yoongi wasn’t too with the slow moan that escaped his lips with each passing second. Heat. That was the only apparent thing that his mind could process. That and how they gasped for air but reluctant to break their entangling lips. His whole body was on fire he felt like burning, even more so down his pants.

The voice of reason in his mind grew silent with each passing second. The only sound filling that small room was their own low grunts and labored breath. Yoongi cupped Jimin’s ass with one hand, the other still clawing at the younger boy’s back and pulled him closer, trying to get the friction he desperately needed. Jimin had seemingly the same idea, thrusting his hips towards Yoongi’s, he could feel the burgeoning erection underneath Jimin’s pants.

This was wrong in every way possible. Didn’t he just desperately try to avoid Jimin? He’d been trying to for the last few days, avoiding his own gaze from landing on the boy and had his mind from remembering how those pink lips tasted under his own. But why would something wrong felt this good? Why would something wrong felt this sublime? This was him not giving any damn whatsoever for their friends, waiting for them outside in the gym. This was him giving in to every wrong that he had thought. And most of all this was him not wanting to stop, not wanting to part with the sky that was melting in his mouth, with the warmth encasing him in its embrace.

And maybe they wouldn’t stop, if it wasn’t for the door being opened.

“Oi, hyung, what's taking you two so-,”

Both of them froze and suddenly Yoongi’s skin became hot water to Jimin’s fingers. The boy leaped behind, taking as far a space as he could get right when Jungkook entered the room from the adjacent side.

Yoongi took a series of deep breaths whilst Jimin just messed with his own hair, looking at the ground as if nothing had happened. That was all that Yoongi hoped Jungkook would realize as he panted on, taking in heavy breathes and wiping the sweat on his forehead.

“We’re just-,”

But then Yoongi saw it. The look on Jungkook’s face. At first it was confusion, looking back from Jimin and then to Yoongi again with brows furrowed. Then it turned into something else, something that he feared. His world broke once again, sending him deeper and deeper into the bottom of the ocean.

“Guys, are we having a party here?” this time it was Taehyung, stepping into the room, putting his arm on Jungkook's shoulder with a wide smile, clearly joking.

“I don't know. Are we?” Jungkook said, his tone malicious before he turned around and exited the room, leaving Yoongi feeling like he just set his whole world on fire.

Yoongi had to go away. He had to get away from Park Jimin or he would make the same mistake again. He was afraid of making another mistake. Jimin could simply walk towards him and everything will falter with something as easy as a touch of a hand. He turned his back, ignoring both Jimin and Taehyung and rushed back towards the gym.

“Hyung, where’s the ball? We need it in case Namjoon-hyung's deathly touch made its comeback,” Hoseok said.

“I’ll pass this time. I’m heading home,” Yoongi said as he made his way across the gym to grab his back, ignoring Hoseok's questions and the following footsteps behind him. The others seemed confused with his sudden escape. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Jungkook, being the only one who gave him a certain look, one that read how he knew something had indeed happened.

Yoongi ignored them all, thinking first about getting away from this all as fast as he could.

The moment he exited the gym, he ran as fast as his feet could, hoping that no one was pursuing him. He ran all the way to his house without catching a breath. Everything was reduced down to one word for him ; chaos. His heart kept on pounding. His mind, on the other hand, went from how good Jimin felt underneath his touch to the look that Jungkook gave him. Both were imprinted in his mind and played in a series of flashback that tortured him over and over again as his feet raced on the ground.

That day he felt like he was teared apart. Everything was confusing. The only thing he was sure of that day, was feeling scared.

For the first time in his life, Min Yoongi was afraid. He was terrified.

He needed to run away again, to disappear from this earth like he did back then. Yeah, this time he could really go to Seoul just like he had dreamed about it. He didn't need anything. Just the clothes on his body and his determination. That was all that it took. That was right. Running away was always the answer. This time he would be gone for good.

And Jung Yujin would probably be 10.000 won richer each day for his disappearance.

He was halfway towards the train station when his mind thought about that one particular girl. Why couldn't it be her? Why couldn't it be her that he wanted to kiss? Why couldn't it be her that he liked? He would be normal then. He was supposed to be normal but something changed, didn't it? Park Jimin changed something inside of him. He turned him into something that he was scared to face.

Yoongi gritted his teeth and he turned his heels. He would hate himself for this. He would hurt a lot of people. But hadn't he been doing exactly that? He had already hated himself for kissing Jimin. Maybe this would set everything right. This would probably fix everything.

That was the thing that crossed his mind as Yoongi found himself impulsively running towards Yujin house, knocking on the door quite frantically soon after.

The girl greeted him with confused look, even more so as Yoongi bent down, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“What's wrong, Yoongi? Are you all right?” she asked.

Nothing was going to be all right. He needed to fix everything.

Yoongi lifted his head and saw the one girl who sincerely liked him as much as the boy that he just kissed. He hated himself. He would hate himself more for doing this, but at least he was fixing things.

(He was fixing things, right?)

“Jung Yujin,” he said, still catching his breath.

“Yeah?”

He would hate himself for this. He definitely would.

“Would you go out with me?”

 

 

Chapter Text

And I thought that you wouldn't have the guts to do it!” Minju said with a smirk on her face. “Finally! I thought you're going to end up like Seokjin.”

Oh please, don't compare me to that coward,” Yoongi answered, sticking out his tongue.

It was recess and he was lounging with the girls instead of the staircase where he usually would be, with his arm en circling his new girlfriend's waist. Yes, Min Yoongi had a girlfriend right now.

Min fucking Yoongi was dating a girl and she was Jung Yujin.

Anyway, big congratulation to the both of you. Aish, eonni, I can't believe this finally happen,” chimed the youngest, Jaein, as she sat in their classroom with both hand cupping her cheeks and a puckered lips. “You better take care of noona well. She really likes you,” she added again, this time pointing her fingers towards him in what looked like a makeshift threat.

Yoongi just answered it with a dry smile

It's so rare to have you spending the recess with us. Aren't you going to introduce your new girlfriend to the boys?” Yuna said.

He already did, actually, c oming to school that morning with his fingers laced around a pair of others before Hoseok dropped his jaw. Seokjin's eyes just grew wide and Namjoon was totally going to tease him for it. Taehyung was being a jerk for punching him on the arm over and over again, saying something about bro-code and leaving the five of them to suffer the life of being single men. And Jungkook-,

The boy gave him a certain look, one that made Yoongi throw his gaze away immediately, afraid of looking any further. He was the only one who kept his mouth shut, watching silently as Hoseok shook Yoongi's body this time before turning towards Yujin, making sure that she was in her right mind for accepting Yoongi's words just like that.

But she did. She accepted his words as easy as that. She looked surprised at first. Yoongi thought it was going to be a no, or how she probably needed some time to think. It was abrupt, indeed, any girl in their right mind wouldn't probably accept an impromptu love confession from someone who looked like they had been running a marathon before. Or maybe it was how Yoongi was sweating and catching his breath that took her away, the girl probably saw a man who couldn't wait to profess his love instead.

Either way, Jung Yujin was definitely one of a kind, because she didn't explode into tears nor did she grin widely with face embarrassingly red. She looked taken aback slightly, before the same smile painted her face as a soft 'of course' escaped her lips.

That day, he sported Yujin like a medal, having her near him and practically bragged about leaving the single life behind to every living soul in the class. She was his way of fixing everything right. She was him proving that he was right. The two of them went back home together that day with linked hand, even when the chilling winter air had pretty much froze their fingers together.

Are you happy today, Yoongi?” she said as they walked slowly through the road.

Before he even realized it, autumn had been replaced by winter. There wouldn't be anymore rain soon, the snow replacing them just like the white did to the red. He didn't even have time to observe his changing surrounding, how the trees was bald and the air struck him cold to the bone. And the sky? That was right. What had become of the sky right now? Yoongi didn't dare to lift his head up to face his lover anymore.

Of course I am,” he said, turning his head towards his new girlfriend with a fake smile plastered across his face. It was easier to have his notorious smirk on when he was amongst a crowd. But here in front of Jung Yujin, he found it even harder.

She nodded slightly, heads looking up ahead before she took Yoongi's arm and hugged it tight.

Good, because I am too,” she whispered back.

That day, as the two of t hem walked side by side in the heart of freezing winter, Yoongi could only feel guilty. He did like her, a voice in the back of his mind said. Maybe it was self-reassurance or simply a way for him to ease this burning guilt that crushed his body whole. But either way, wasn't she happy with this? He had made her happy, hadn't he? His friends were as well and that meant he had done the right thing.

That day it wasn't Yujin's lingering arm around his nor the warmth that she shared that took his attention.

It was the empty seat behind him that actually did.

Not only the seat. Something inside of Yoongi went empty as well.


+.-.+


Yoongi contemplated about leaving his house again for good since that was the situation that happened last time. He tried his best to avoid his father and even if the two met, they just pretended that either of them didn't exist on the first place.

That was probably what he would do to Jimin, pretending that the boy didn't exist. It made it easier when he didn't come to school on Friday. Yoongi locked himself in his room for the remaining weekend, trying his best to sleep for as long as he could, because only then would he be free of those lingering thoughts that haunt him, even when he got his eyes wide opened. Only in the realm of his dream would he be rid of the memory of how a certain someone's lips tasted upon his.

But only in the realm of his dream as well, would the said scene be replayed in such excruciating details and heightened sense, that Yoongi woke up with a jolt in one particular Sunday morning with sweat-drenched body and a completely restricting pants. It made Yoongi hate himself more as he splashed water over and over again across his face that morning, muttering to himself how wrong it was. What happened the following afternoon didn't really help at all.

It was Seokjin calling out his name loudly through the window out of his house somewhere before ten with a loud smile that got him rolling his eyes. 'A legit doubledate' is what he said this time, coaxing him out of his cave for yet another trip to see a movie to the city. He wasn't really in the mood for anything, he wanted to say.

But aren't you dying to spend some time with your precious new girlfriend?” Seokjin said, smiling wide. “Come on, Yujin would love this.”

That moment two things were clear to him. Yoongi knew that he couldn't refuse the older's wish no matter how persistent he might be, and how he was indeed going to hate himself even more for what he was about to do.

Even when he got his hands wrapped around Yujin's waist on the train ride, the four of them conversing about another possibility of a trip in the near future, to him holding her hands during the entire movie with her h e ad resting on his shoulder, Yoongi could only think how each minute that passed made him hate himself even more. He could only be remembered about the said hatred even when they ate together in a small little cafe, he ended up sharing a bowl of sundae with Yujin despite the fact that it was winter already, making her blush as he wiped a certain stain from her cheek with a smirk on his face. That hatred had grown into despise as they board the train back to Yeoryang-myeon, the last hint of sunset haunting him through the window, being a silent witness as Yujin fell asleep on his shoulder in front of the giggling Seokjin and Minju. When he turned his head to face the scarlet sky, he felt as if the sun had been watching him all this time, shaking his head in disapproval, disappointment being clear on his eyes. Then the moon would resurface and this time she would taunt him back , eyes watching his every move as he walked Yujin back to her home on Sunday night.

That despise lingered there still, painting his heart black like a disease and turning his mouth sour. And when that so-called girlfriend of his turned her head in front of her door, smiling that soft smile and thanking him for all the wonderful things that he had done for her that day, Yoongi felt like setting himself on fire. Because at least that was what he deserved, being set on flames and succumbed to an agonizing death. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve an honest girl like Jung Yujin who liked him for who he was.

Yet, it seemed like hating himself was not enough, because when your girlfriend stood there as if she was waiting, squeezing her fingers repeatedly with gaze wandering elsewhere, Yoongi knew exactly what she wanted. At the back of his mind he thought that at least she deserved a little bit of a price, if that was what it would be seen as. A price. A little token of gratitude for being a proof that Yoongi needed.

So Yoongi learned that day, that there was indeed something more agonizing that hating oneself. Min Yoongi grew from hating himself to being disgusted by his very being, as he took a step forward towards her, putting his hands around her neck and pulled her into a kiss.

That day Yoongi learned how disgusting he was as he kissed Jung Yujin on the lips and could only be reminded of Park Jimin instead.


+.-.+


Min Yoongi dreaded Monday. He dreaded Monday because he knew Jimin was probably going to be there. The only place where he was going to meet Jimin was probably the school, and by this time he didn't know whether his friends would realize that they were avoiding each other all over again. Maybe they would, though having a girlfriend certainly served as an excuse of wanting to spend his time alone. That morning he came to school, hoping to find the seat behind him empty.

What greeted him was Ikje's annoying smirk instead and Yoongi was either way still bothered by it. So this was the pattern, he thought. Jimin was going to avoid him and Yoongi wouldn't do anything to stop it this time. They would pretend like nothing ever happened, the two of them gradually growing apart and problems would be solved in something that seemed like denial.

He didn't even turn his head to search for a certain someone, who supposedly would be sitting on Ikje's seat when the lesson started. No, he didn't and shouldn't need to, even when the said person's figure was missing once again in recess with Taehyung. It was only the five of them by their favorite place on the stairs and Yoongi tried his best to laugh along to his friend's joke instead of thinking about the obvious problem that he had .

Min Yoongi did dread Monday. That moment he realized that he dreaded Monday not only because he knew Jimin was going to be there, but because Jungkook would be as well. The whole thing that happened with Yujin and Yoongi drowning himself in self-hatred made him forget about a certain look that felt as if a knife was lodging itself in his guts. That recess he was reminded about that as the boys made yet another joke on him.

But really, hyung, I don't even see it coming. You and Yujin, I mean,” Hoseok said with a playful smirk. “I thought that you're not interested.”

Well, you know now that I am,” he said with a smug expression. That was the card that he had been playing since yesterday, how proud he was with having Yujin as a girlfriend now and how everyone should be learning how it took to capture a girl's heart from him. It worked really well, considering Yujin played along with expressing how a certain someone 'ran all the way to her house only to proclaim his undying love'.

Yoongi-hyung could always be unpredictable,” Namjoon commented with a smirk.

H e thought that the conversation was going to end there . Yet he was proven to be wrong, since Jungkook decided to twist that knife deeper into him with his sharp words.

And I thought you didn't even like girls, hyung,” their youngest nonchalantly said.

The others laughed immediately to that, thinking that it was one hell of a good joke, considering it was the youngest that decided to come up with it to mock the notorious Min Yoongi. But Yoongi on the other hand knew that it was indeed something else, as Jungkook looked back at him with a certain malicious look that made his own mouth ran dry.

Yah, what do you even mean, Jeon Jungkook,” he answered back, hiding that restlessness in his own voice. “You better learn from your hyung here on how to steal a girl's heart.”

This hyung is right, Jungkookie, because we're totally waiting for the time when you and Suji call it official,” Hoseok said, slinging his arm behind Jungkook's shoulder and messed with the boy's hair.

Yoongi probably got Hoseok to thank for, since he steered the conversation quickly away from him. Yet the nightmare was still there, his fear turning itself into a reality. How much did Jungkook really see back then? He certainly didn't see much, did he? But then again, they were right in front of the door, even Yoongi couldn't mistake it if he was in Jungkook's shoes . What should he say to their maknae, then? It wasn't anything. His eyes had probably deceived them. The two of them didn't do anything back then.

But what if Jungkook had told other people? No, it wasn't possible, was it? What was there to even tell? Min Yoongi had a fucking girlfriend right now. Even if such rumor like him kissing someone in the gym storeroom resurfaced, no one was going to believe it.

Still, he needed to talk to Jungkook. The least he could do was to explain to him. That way, he could set everything right, making sure that Jungkook realized that he wasn't-,

Jungkook, can I talk to you?” he said, as they were going back to their respective class, Yoongi ended up taking a detour to talk to Jungkook in front of the younger's class.

I t was there again, that look that Yoongi dreaded so much, a simple gaze that made his blood run cold.

There's nothing to talk about, hyung,” the younger answered before casually turning around, disregarding his words.

That was the very first time Jungkook had ever been disrespectful towards him. The boy had never done such a thing, especially to Yoongi. Sure, he was a bit more relaxed in front of Taehyung or Jimin, playing along to their banter and loud shenanigans, he even missed the hyung when he addressed Jimin from time to time . But Yoongi was supposed to be his respected hyung, one that Jungkook talked to whenever he went deep into future aspiration or simply when he thought that he wasn't good enough to be a part of them .

Hey you bastard, I'm talking to you!” Yoongi said, grabbing Jungkook's arm hard before yanking him back with a sudden jolt.

He thought that maybe Jungkook would yell at him, would throw a punch at his face. He could take all of that. Yet he simply yanked his hand back after nothing but a single touch and made an expression that Yoongi couldn't forget. It was imprinted in his mind just as much as Jimin's disappointed face would be and both would haunt him for the days to come.

That exact moment, Yoongi didn't need any other reason to dread Monday, because the prepared words that he had repeated in his head came out as a stutter instead. It was rage at one point, before he found himself shrinking in front of Jungkook because of nothing but a single gaze.

L-listen. What you saw that time it was-,”

I think I've seen enough, hyung,” Jungkook said before he turned around and entered the classroom, leaving a dumbfounded Min Yoongi who felt as if he had been doused in cold water.

Because the most horrible of all, Jungkook didn't even need to say any thing more than that. It was him jerking his hand away because of nothing but a single touch and a gaze that spoke for everything. This was what Jimin had been receiving from his parents each day. This was what Jimin had been so afraid of. And this was what he promised Jimin he would never do.

It was Jungkook looking back at him with nothing but disgust in his eyes.


+.-.+



Oi, lover boy,” mocked Ikje from behind his seat.

What do you want, asshole?” Yoongi hissed back maliciously without even turning his head. He was certainly in no mood for any banter, especially one that was coming from Ikje's mouth.

It was a self study session and the class erupted with nothing but voices and laughter. From his seat, he could hear Hoseok's scream as he made an impromptu charade game with some classmates . Seokjin was probably sitting at the corner with Minju, holding hands underneath the table whilst gazing at each other's eyes almost too disgustingly. Yujin was chatting with Yuna instead about a certain hair conditioner and Yoongi was left in his seat doing absolutely nothing.

A certain scene was playing on repeat in his head, a certain look that he couldn't get rid off from his head. Even in the end, he couldn't explain it all to Jungkook. He hadn't said the most important thing. Nothing happened in the storeroom. There was nothing going on between Jimin and him. And most of all Min Yoongi wasn't a-,

And Ikje threw an eraser once again to the back of his head before Yoongi turned around right that instant with wide eyes and a fist that landed on the other's wooden desk.

The boy raised his hand. “Wow, easy there. Just trying to be playful. Don't you think it's a bit boring? ” Ikje said.

But Yoongi knew Ikje more than anything. He knew that the boy was never trying to be just nice or friendly with him, considering their past history (which by this time Yoongi couldn't even remember. He just simply knew that he disliked him for a reason and that was all that he needed to know).

Shut your trap, Ikje. I'm not in the mood today,” he hissed before turning back around. This was certainly the last thing that he needed, Ikje sitting there right behind him, irking him with every single breath that he had.

Chill, Yoongi. What? Not having your Jimin sit here sends you in a bad mood?” Ikje said again, definitely mocking him.

The thing was, it wasn't the first time that he did. Ever since the stargazing incident there was one or two joke that popped up from time to time, some of them even commenting about how sweet it was for Jimin and him to do something so romantic. This wasn't certainly the first time Ikje had done so as well, which he usually rebutted with a halfhearted threat.

He should be doing the same thing this time as well, but something just snapped inside of him. It was probably Ikje choosing the wrong day to taunt him or m aybe it was everything coming down on him, the kiss, Yujin and Jungkook's gaze altogether. Or maybe Ikje knew. Maybe that bastard saw what others didn't, saw those moments as he made a grave mistake of exchanging breaths with Jimin.

What did you say?” he said, turning around again, only to see a huge grin smacked on the other boy's face.

Or maybe Jungkook had told him. Maybe Jungkook had told everybody, a nd despite him having Yujin by his side, no one was going to be convinced anymore . But then, they would all be wrong. Because that wasn't Yoongi. Whatever they thought about him, it was wrong. He would never be-,

I said, have you been going out for another stargazing session with your precious boyfriend?”

Yoongi slammed his hand on the table before he stood up and pointed his finger at Ikje. He had had enough of that.

Shut up,” he said, his tone low and definitely threatening.

Ikje seemingly got the message, his face looked a bit flustered before he opened his poisonous mouth yet again, which was nothing but a horrible mistake . He simply didn't know when to quit, did he?

Hey relax, it's just a joke, okay?” he said with the same smirk still painting his face. “It's not like I'm insulting your boyfriend or-.”

I have a girlfriend now, all right?!” Yoongi yelled before Ikje could finish his sentence, slamming his fist once again on the boy's desk.

This was just Ikje being a prick. This shouldn't mean anything. He shouldn't lose his cool, shouldn't get caught up in this stupid insult. But at the same time, it was everything. It was Jungkook's gaze, it was everything that he wanted to proof wrong.

Hey Yoongi, really, lower your voice it's just a-,”

So what now? Are you calling me gay, then?”

Ikje looked really flustered right now and Yoongi didn't even notice that the whole class had gone silence, all eyes fell towards him.

What? That's absurd. I didn't call you gay. Hey Yoongi, I didn't-,”

Actually, Ikje didn't call him gay. No one was saying that he was. But Jungkook's gaze was there, flashing in front of his eyes, looking back at him as if he was some sort of a disgusting human being that wasn't worthy to even touch his skin.

That was the only thing that flashed in his mind before his fist met Ikje's face. The boy's chair rocked backward before Ikje's back met the ground with a loud bang. Yoongi didn't stand still, he quickly reached for Ikje's collar afterward and planted another punch to the boy's nose before he managed to get up.

This was the part that he feared the most. This was what he wanted Jungkook and everyone in the room to know. That Min Yoongi wasn't gay. That Min Yoongi still liked girls and he was as normal as everyone else. Sure he kissed his own best friend, but that was a mistake. It was something that he would bring with him to the grave. It was something that he would always deny to ever happen.

His raging mind gave Ikje an opening to return Yoongi's punch, the fist met his left eye it sent Yoongi tumbling down the floor.

What the hell is your problem, you fuck?!” Ikje screamed, throwing himself towards Yoongi who was now pinned to the ground.

It was another punch to his jaw before Yoongi kneed Ikje hard on the stomach, screaming loudly and push ing the other boy back towards the floor in a split second.

Don't you dare mess with me!” Yoongi screamed, holding both Ikje's collar. He was pinning the boy to the ground and the latter was trying his best to rid of Yoongi's iron grip to no avail.

S-stop it, you-,”

Yoongi did nothing but what his instinct told him to do. Right that moment he rammed Ikje's powerless body against the ground, the boy's skull meeting the floor with a loud noise. Somewhere in the classroom, Yoongi could hear a girl scream and Ikje's flailing hands suddenly went limp between his own.

I have a girlfriend now, all right? I'm not a disgusting-,”

H e would probably do that over and over again, ramming Ikje's head on the floor until he could hear that unmistakable crunch before blood pooled out in front of him. He would probably do it whilst screaming, losing all control of his body, he wouldn't really care either way if Ikje ended up with a concussion or a cracked skull. Yoongi wouldn't simply stop until he got his point loud and clear, until Jungkook's gaze disappear from his mind and Jimin's soft lips upon his would dissolve under the pungent taste of blood.

Stop it, hyung.”

The words itself wouldn't really stop him. It was a hand that did, gripping his arm tightly, a shaking finger that wrapped itself around his skin with a soft voice that whispered him back to reality.

Yoongi turned his head around and of course, he didn't need to do such gesture to know who it was. The dreaded Monday finally unveiled its demon whose eyes reminded him more of heaven instead.

That's enough.”

 

 

Chapter Text

Namjoon didn't say a word at all as Yoongi knocked the boy's front door in the middle of the night. His expression was unreadable, but on top of everything, he simply understood, opening the door wider, letting Yoongi step into the house with a bag on his back. It was somewhere nearing midnight and just a few minutes afterward as he put his belongings on Namjoon's floor, he could hear the patter of raindrop against the window. He was lucky then, not catching himself up in the middle of the drizzle or he would probably end up with another cold. He bet it was going to snow tomorrow or some time later.

You ate yet?” Namjoon simply asked, in which Yoongi answered with a simple no.

Not since afternoon,” he muttered.

Namjoon answered with a sigh, complaining about why he had to accept such an insolent freeloader like Yoongi as he disappeared into the kitchen, probably fetching him some ramyun. That was Namjoon for him, definitely saying how troublesome this particular hyung was, but still ended up being the one friend he could always rely on.

Yoongi sighed and let himself fell on top of Namjoon's bed. Lifting his hand slowly towards the ceiling, he could see his bruising knuckles and the apparent hints of blood. The nurse had tried her best to clean it, but at that was as far as she could do. The same went for Yoongi's left eye, which last time looked pretty awful. He bet it looked even worse right now.

Jimin stopped him back then. He stopped him from ramming Ikje's annoying brain over and over against the floor. Before he realized it, almost all of his friends had been forming a circle around the two of them, witnessing the brawl that just happened in horror. Yujin was standing there amongst them, looking at him with wide eyes and a hand covering her mouth. No one dared to step forward and stop him.

Nobody did but Jimin.

Soon enough as he stopped, Namjoon stepped forward, taking his hands off of Ikje's collar. Both him and Jimin pulled him towards one of the chair slowly, probably afraid that he would snap again. Someone called the teacher and they quickly tended to the unconscious Ikje, whilst Yoongi just sat there, looking at his own bloody knuckles.

It was a serious of blur, people speaking and him being dragged to the infirmary before ending up in front of the headmaster's desk. He had never been called for such thing because as much as a delinquent that he was, Yoongi never really commit any real harm. This time, Principal Bang just shook his head, saying something about being a responsible student and putting harm on fellow classmates. Before long, it was his older brother showing up in front of the door, the two of them somehow settling in into a heated argument.

That was probably all that he needed to tell about how he ended up being kicked out of the school. That, or it was his own independent decision to just leave his education behind since he had completed his Suneung and didn't really find the need to enroll into a university either way. His brother had to scream to him along the way home before it was replaced by his mother's cry. 'Why do you keep making trouble?', 'What happened to our old Yoongi?', 'For goodness sake please tell us what's wrong with you?'. It was practically those questions being screamed over sobs, which Yoongi only answered with nothing but silence.

He sneaked out of his room somewhere after that, only to appear in front of Namjoon's door. By this time, his family wouldn't really mind what he did anymore. From all the running away, to the fights and being suspended from school, this little getaway wouldn't prove anythin g . He had simply fucked up too many times.

By the way, put this on your eye. You look horrible,” Namjoon said as he reappeared a few minutes later with a bowl of cooked instant ramyun and an ice pack on the other hand.

Catching the ice pack that Namjoon threw, he contemplated about asking a mirror to see how bad his reflection might be. With a big bruise on his left eye and a split lips, he would now look like a real rebel, at least that was what he thought.

You wanna talk about what happened?” Namjoon asked as Yoongi took down the ice pack to grab the bowl of ramyun instead. He hadn't eaten anything since this afternoon, but ever since his little trip to the middle of nowhere for almost four consecutive days, food was the last thing that he really worried about.

Not really,” he muttered.

Well, always know that I'm all ear, okay hyung? I'm always here for you,” Namjoon said which Yoongi answered yet again with a simple grunt.

He didn't really feel like talking about it, though one thing did bother him in the end. Even as much as a jerk that he was, he still got the time to think about the well-being of Choi Ikje when he was finally in his right mind to be a sociable and fully functioning human being that he was.

How about Ikje, though?” he asked in the middle of gobbling down his ramyun.

Unconscious for a few hours, but nothing's bad. Just a mild concussion but luckily no stitch for that big head of his. I gotta say though, at least Ikje deserved to be punched once, since he was indeed one hell of an annoying motherfucker,” Namjoon said before he smirk at the end of the sentence, clearly trying to cheer Yoongi up.

And it cost me my high school graduation,” he muttered.

Namjoon didn't seem to be surprised with it. In fact, he just nonchalantly answered him with a, “You don't need it anyway, hyung. You're leaving in a few weeks it wouldn't make any difference.”

He didn't know how worried his other friends were. They would probably storm Namjoon's place just to make sure that he was going to be all right. Yujin would most definitely come next. Truthfully, he didn't need all of that. He just wanted some peace and if it wasn't for the winter being too freezing, he would definitely be out on the streets again, finding a good place to rest his raging mind.

At least you leave high school with a bang, hyung. Told you before, Min Yoongi, the most fearsome senior in Yeoryang-myeon Public School,” Namjoon chuckled.

Yeah right,” he said, rolling his eyes to Namjoon's ridiculous words.

 

+.-.+


Yoongi couldn't sleep at all that night. It seemed like his dreaded Monday didn't want to leave him in peace, because even the clock moved excruciatingly slow for him. He was wrapped in his blanket on Namjoon's extra bed, eyes facing the latter's clock sitting by the desk. It was fifteen minutes towards midnight. Fifteen minutes more until Tuesday and this horrible day would finally pass.

Fifteen minutes felt like fifteen hours to him instead, and when two finally pass in such a mocking manner, Yoongi decided to ditch his best friend's room and left for some fresh air. Namjoon was snoring heavily and Yoongi certainly envied him for it. Walking slowly through the quite house, he walked down the stairs and slipped in through the front door with a blanket still wrapped around his shoulder.

The cold winter air greeted him as he stepped outside. Namjoon's house was located in the very heart of the town (whilst Seokjin's was located at the adjacent side). Unlike his own house in Songcheon-gil, it was rows of neighboring houses that greeted him on its side. Propping himself on the verandah, Yoongi was grateful enough that he had decided to sleep with a sock on, not only because of the cold, but also because his deduction earlier was simply right.

It was indeed snowing right now, the small drops of white falling from the black night sky. Yoongi sighed, leaning his back against the wall as he lift ed his head and saw the snow floating its way down from heaven. For a moment, it looked as if the stars were falling, those tiny ball of light that he had been seeing finally descended towards the earth as little flake of snow. Yoongi took out his hand, letting a single snowflake fell on top of his open palm. It could be the star that he was holding between his fingers right now, the ones he kept on seeing on the sky, they decided to finally give him a visit. They were a ball of fiery gas once, burning and exploding, before they slowly lost its warmth along their journey towards the earth, the cold being the only thing that was left of them.

That was probably the only thing that was left of him as well.

Yoongi crushed the snowflake in his hand before he pulled his feet together, hugging them in front of his chest tightly like a little boy would. The sky was completely dark this time, the clouds blocking the sea of stars that would probably await him from beyond. At certain part, he felt somehow grateful, as if they were sheltering him from their judgment and disapproving eyes.

What the fuck is wrong with me,” he whispered before burying his face into his palm.

He didn't mean to hurt Ikje. At least not that much. The annoying prick didn't even actually say anything that would insult him.

It was him all this time. It was always Yoongi. If only that Thursday never happened. Then Jungkook wouldn't have seen them. Then Yujin wouldn't be dragged into this whole mess. Ikje would probably be relieved from a bloody nose.

And Jimin. He would probably still be conversing with Yoongi right now between the snowflakes. The ground would be white the next morning and the two of them would run to the field only to make a snow angel on top of it, providing Jimin hadn't pushed him on the ground or thrown him a large snowball before a fight ensued later on instead. Spring, the boy had once asked him. Yet here they were in the middle of winter, barely talking to each other.

That what if just made him feel worse. Yoongi hugged his feet tighter as a certain scene flashed across his mind. It made his heart clenched, remembering how Jimin looked at him that day, how his fingers were around the boy's neck until all he could feel was his soft lips upon his. More than anything, it burnt his inside right now, even when the snow was falling and the night air was chilling.

No, Yoongi. That was wrong,” he muttered again to himself, having both hand on his temple, trying to erase the memory if he could.

That was wrong because Yoongi wasn't gay. That was wrong because Jungkook would look at him disapprovingly. Not only Jungkook, every living soul in that town of his would. Boys shouldn't be kissing other boys. It was girls that he should be kissing and that was how everything was for as long as he knew it.

But Park Jimin wasn't just any other boy. He was different from the start. He had loved him, he said, just like Seokjin loved Minju. He loved him just like a boy would love a girl. Yet, as wrong as Yoongi knew it to be, that time he had said that it was okay, that Jimin was still his best friend no matter what.

Then why would this time be a problem, then?

Because it would be okay if it was Jimin who was different. But when it was Min Yoongi who did, he simply couldn't handle that terrifying truth.

 

+.-.+


Yoongi stopped going to school because he realized that he simply didn't need to anymore. It wouldn't really matter anyway, since winter break would be upon them in a few days. He stayed behind as Namjoon left on Tuesday, saying to him that he would be back after school and he could tell his mother if he ever needed anything. He ran across Namjoon's mother as he was snooping in the kitchen some time later in the afternoon to grab something to eat. Avoiding the awkward conversation, he decided to just go out and have a little walk.

The town was covered in white that day, without the visible horizon the whole ground would probably melt into the sky. Yoongi still didn't dare to lift his head, occupying himself with his cellphone instead. He found a few message s left from the worried Yujin who hoped to see him some time after school. Sighing, Yoongi realized that having her as a girlfriend meant that at least she deserved a little bit of an explanation about what happened yesterday.

They met in one of the restaurant downtown some time after school (because he simply avoided school in fear of meeting a certain someone), the girl looking at him with worried eyes as Yoongi could only answer her with nothing but a small smile.

What the hell happened yesterday?!” she said, face entirely worried. It reminded him to that day as he reappeared after being missing for almost four days.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he answered back. She was probably scared and she quickly confirmed his thoughts, saying that not only her, but the whole class was shocked by his action.

We heard your yells. I know that Ikje has been quite a dick to you but what's exactly happening, Yoongi?” she asked.

It's nothing. Ikje just really got on my nerve this time,” he muttered out a lie.

First you ran away from home. I know that it's not the first time you've ever done that, but this time was different, the others were really worried about you,” she went on. “And now this happened and between that-,”

She wanted to say about how they got together. She was going to question it as well, Yoongi could tell, how she realized that it was a part of all this chaos that Yoongi had been leaving in his wake. But then she gulped her words down and at that moment Yoongi could see as well how she was afraid to know the answer herself. She was in as much as a denial as he was.

Just-, what's happening, Yoongi?” she settled with those words instead, reaching out her hand to touch Yoongi on the cheek gently.

He was tempted to blurt everything out at that moment, as Yujin gazed back into his eyes with nothing but kindness. He was that close to talk about what really happened with Jimin, about Jungkook and all that there was to it. Yujin was his girlfriend. She liked him, at least, and she would probably understand, wouldn't she?

But when she opened her mouth once again, Yoongi was only reminded about how distasteful a certain someone's look could be.

Is it got anything to do with Jimin?”

It was pure reflect as he jerk backward instead, trying to keep her hand away from touching his cheek simply because he was afraid. Why did she mention Jimin's name? Did she know, then? Did Jungkook talk to her about it?

Why do you think it got anything to do with Jimin?” he asked cautiously. These days, the mention of Jimin's name alerted him, making him restless.

I know you, Yoongi,” she said calmly. “Jimin's the only person you haven't talked to about us and you clearly have been avoiding him.”

He felt as if he was being attacked instead.

So what? I just haven't-,”

He could make up excuses, saying about how the two of them just hadn't spoken in a while. Then again, it was fruitless. It was a pathetic excuse and sooner or later his friends would start asking him again whether the two of them were fighting. Or even before it happened, Jungkook would open his mouth and he would be seeing the same gaze that Jungkook gave him on Namjoon's and the other's eyes.

She opened her mouth again as Yoongi stuttered on his own sentence and it made him open his eyes wider. “It's really about him, isn't it?”

And he hated it, how she could see right through him as easy as that.

No,” he lied, the words coming out more like a whisper.

Please don't keep me in the dark. It feels like you're keeping something away from me,” she said again.

I told you, it's nothing.”

Just what's happening between you and Jimin that you're turning like this?”

And as easy as that, the anger returned, that frustration and self-loathed that he surpressed inside . It was two words that was oddly taking the most of his attention . It was Jimin's name and how he 'turned' into something else, as she claimed it to be. The next thing he knew , he had slammed his palm against the wooden table just like he did the other d ay.

Nothing, all right?!” he raised his voice. “There's nothing going on between Jimin and me!”

Yujin had her mouth immediately shut, eyes looking back at him wide. She was at a loss of words and the silence that wrapped them suggested that eyes were turned towards their table in that little restaurant as well. Yoongi took a deep breath, looking back at her and realized what he had just done. She wasn't Ikje. Jung Yujin was a girl. She was his supposedly girlfriend and he just yelled, lashing out his anger at her.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi settled his gaze towards his fingernails instead, diverting his eyes from the girl in front of him before whispering back a cowardly “Sorry.”

The silence felt as if it wasn't going to end, even though he could hear the faint noises of people once again conversing and the familiar cling of cutlery in the background, hinting him that the people's attention had been drawn from them. But still Yujin hadn't said a word and Yoongi quickly thought about running away again. Maybe she would easily stand up and be the one who left him this time until she finally opened her mouth and the words that calmly came out stabbed him in the heart instead.

I'm your girlfriend, Yoongi.”

She spoke calmly, no sign of anger whatsoever. It was too calm, it became unsettling for Yoongi . The words itself hurt him. Jung Yujin wa s indeed his girlfriend. Somehow the words seemed wrong to even be repeated in his head. To have it being uttered directly by her just made Yoongi feel guilty, not to mention after what he had just done.

I just want to make you happy.”

Which he definitely didn't deserve. He asked her out even though he didn't have any genuine feeling for her. Sure he liked her, but he knew himself that making her happy wasn't the bigger picture that he had. He was asking her out for his own personal gain, a fucking badge for him to put on his chest

I just want to help you.”

Then stay with me,” he croaked the words out. With that he grabbed her hands tight, squeezing the fingers against his own. He just yelled at her and now looked at what he was doing. In a way what Jungkook thought of him was indeed right. He was disgusting. “If you want to make me happy just stay with me.”

And even now this felt as wrong as kissing Jimin back then. This was all entirely wrong. Yet at the same time, Yoongi could realize that there was a huge difference between the two, as he pulled Yujin's body close, placing both his hands on her neck and put his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

Because I need you.”

I need you to prove them wrong.

I really really need you right now.”

I need you to prove myself wrong.

Just like kissing Jimin back then, this was entirely wrong. The only difference was, how none of this made his heart beat like mad or his brain melting in his head. Kissing Jimin was indeed wrong, but it felt impossibly and entirely sublime.

It felt so good, for a moment back then, Yoongi was convinced that it was never wrong to begin with.

(But it was, wasn't it?)

 

 

Chapter Text

Winter break would last until late January before school came again, though that was the last thing that Yoongi would be troubling himself with. He was back as a runaway again, or this time, more like a freeloader in Namjoon's house. Staying at the Kim wasn't actually a bad thing, it was simply sitting on the dinner table between Namjoon and his younger sister that reminded him about the old Park instead, which of course led to her unforgettable grandson.

With the winter break coming soon, the gang would supposedly think of another trip or gather around for another simple game of basketball. The thought of it led Yoongi to both Jungkook and Jimin, he started to think that being a shut-in was a better option than going out of the house to face his problems.

Namjoon never really asked him after that first time, simply watching him with careful eyes whenever he left the house to meet the gang and Yoongi decided to just stay behind. He had only spoken to Namjoon ever since the incident and for the first time it seemed like the others understood that he simply needed some space. Other than that, his best friend treated him like usual, the two of them started planning their trip to Seoul and the requirements that it would take. If it weren't for Namjoon, Yoongi would simply lose the will to do it all, he barely had any to venture out of the room that wasn't even respectively his.

He skipped on the gang's plan on a snowball fight on Wednesday and spent his day hiking to the hill instead after buying himself a pack of cigarette, seeing as the leaves were covered in white, making the place even unrecognizable for a slight moment. With a cigarette resting between his teeth, he started to wonder whether the Songcheon River underneath him would ever freeze in winter.

It was some time later, as the night fell earlier than it did in winter and Yoongi was forced to return back home due to the cold, did he remember about his notebook. He hadn't written anything since a long time ago, he couldn't even remember his last entry. Going back to Namjoon's place, he pretty much ransacked his bag (and Namjoon's already messy room in the process) only to find nothing. He returned back home (more like crept in unnoticed) to try his luck with his own room and was met with disappointment once again.

He spent the night on top of his old bed that day, feeling too tired to walk back to Namjoon's place. That night he lied on the dusty bed, gazing at the familiar ceiling above his head. The last few days away from his friends and school had felt like a small blessing, how he got the time entirely for his own without having to meet the dreaded faces that haunted him still.

He fell asleep better than he had been in Namjoon's house, the night bringing him a dream about a certain field underneath a starry sky. Even in his own dream, the sky was as beautiful as ever, his surrounding white and the horizon far out of his reach. The contrasting white against the dark sky told him that it was in the middle of winter. It was a strange dream because he was alone in the middle of a wide, unfamiliar field, standing awkwardly there as a certain figure became apparent to his eyes. Walking near, he could tell that it was a person, a boy hunched down, hugging his own two feet while squatting on the ground with shaking shoulder and small sobs.

He thought about calling out to the strange figure before he was dragged back to reality, his phone ringing loudly it woke him up from his sleep. Groaning, Yoongi thought about throwing the phone towards the wall (if it turned out to be Namjoon or one of his idiotic friends) and resumed back to his beloved realm of dream, when the name that flashed across the screen required his every waking attention instead.

“Yoongi, are you there?” Yujin voiced greeted him as he answered the phone.

“Yeah, what's up?” he grunted, still not fully awake.  

“Uhm, are you busy, Yoongi?” she asked.

The answer for it would of course be a 'no', but that would also depend on why she was calling him.

“Why?” he settled with a question instead.

“I need you right now,” she said softly against the phone. It made him raise his eyebrow, because this was the first time she ever said this. 

“What's wrong, Yujin?” he asked, standing up from his bed and sat by its side, wondering whether something bad had happened to his girlfriend, she was probably in need of his help.

“Oh no, it's nothing,” she said with a small laugh as she realized his concerned tone. “Just want to meet you. Can you see me now?”

Yoongi took a glance at the dusty clock sitting by his table. He didn't realize that he had been asleep for almost the entire day. It was nearing three in the afternoon already.

“In thirty minutes, probably,” he said, since he pretty much needed that much time to walk from his house to wherever Yujin would ask to meet him downtown.

There was a small pause from Yujin's side before she hummed. “Thirty minutes then. Auraji Bridge. See you later."

He was about to ask why she was suddenly asking to meet him before she turned the call off. Yoongi sighed, realizing that either way, she was going to meet her in thirty minutes anyway and he could ask her later on, face to face. The others must be playing basketball in the mean time and he kind of respected (and sighed in relief) that she didn't ask him to meet on school grounds for obvious reason.

Taking a coat before heading for the stairs, Yoongi just walked through his empty house and towards the door without having the need to eat something first for breakfast (or a lunch, supposedly). He wasn't that hungry anyway, and so he walked down the road of Songcheon-gil, realizing how cold the weather was that day.

Everything was covered in white and the sky was gray, telling him that it would probably snow again soon. Shoving his hand in his pocket, Yoongi just kept on walking, seeing as the white covered everything that his eyes could see. In summer, everything was green before the blazing red took it over in autumn. Soon enough, spring would come and Yoongi was reminded to a promise he couldn't keep.

He was halfway towards the Auraji Bridge when it started to snow earlier than expected, the small snowflakes falling from the sky. Grunting, Yoongi could only hope that Yujin would ask to go to a restaurant after this or her mother would finally allow the two of them to spend some time under her roof.

The road was pretty much deserted that day. It had always been like that in winter, most of the inhabitants of the town hiding themselves in their respective houses, some of them worked in the opened resorts a few kilometers out of town during the season. He had arrived on the Auraji Bridge, gazing at the Songcheon River right beneath him, wondering whether it would be cold enough that the river would finally freeze. He had never seen the river froze in all eighteen winters that he had been through, although some of the elderly said that it had indeed, once, back then when Yoongi was too young to even remember.

He could see a figure standing by the side of the railing, the coat hiding the person's face from view, though he knew that it would indeed be Yujin since there wasn't anyone else who was stupid enough to be outside in this weather.

“Hey Yujin,” he said before she even turned around. “Can we go somewhere else?”

But when she did, Yoongi stood still on his track.

Because it wasn't Yujin who waited for him there. It wasn't Yujin who he saw as the person turned around and looked back into his eyes.

“Jimin?”

This didn't make any sense. He should have been meeting Yujin here, the girl had called him. Yet it was Jimin who did. Did she lie to him? Was this all some kind of a joke, the two of them planning something behind his back? A single thought entered his mind back then as he received her call, thinking that the worst that could happen was her wanting to talk, breaking up with him at the end of the day.

Turned out he was so wrong, since this was far worse than that.

“Why are you here?” he asked maliciously.

Jimin took a step forward towards him and he instinctively replied with taking a step backward. He could easily see the change in Jimin's expression from that simple gesture.
This was wrong. He shouldn't be seeing Jimin, especially right now.

“I just want to talk, hyung,” the younger said softly.

That meant, the two did plan on something behind his back, didn't they? Would this mean Yujin already know, then?

“No,” he simply answered before he turned his back. He couldn't face Jimin. It was dangerous. Every time he saw the boy, he would only make more mistakes. It was easier to run away before he did something he would later regret.

“Please, hyung,” Jimin begged, walking towards him. “I'm begging you. Please just listen to me this time.”

But still, Yoongi was taking more and more step away from Jimin.

“Just this one time. This is the last,” the boy said. “Please just listen to me for the last time. After that you're free to walk away, hyung.”

It was his last whisper of a 'please' that made his next steps slower before he came to a halt, back still facing Jimin with fist curled in his coat's pocket.

This was the last, he thought. After that, Jimin wouldn't probably talk to him anymore and Yoongi was free to do what he loved the most. Running away. If this small conversation was the little price to pay, then Yoongi would probably give it a shot, only to achieve the freedom that awaited him at its end.

There was a long pause and all that he did was wait for Jimin to say anything. He would probably ask for questions that Yoongi dreaded. He would ask why he kiss him that day. He would ask why he run away afterward. He would ask why he go out with Yujin the next day. Jimin would ask for explanations and Yoongi couldn't answer them all because he simply didn't know.

He didn't know why he did all of that.

Instead, the first thing that Jimin asked about was something entirely different.

“Do you know why I leave, hyung?”

Yoongi didn't want to look at Jimin. The Park stood behind him and the thing his mind could remember was how once, it was Jimin’s back that stood in front of him. It was the first time they went back home together with the boy walking a few feet away for him. This time it was the total opposite. It was easier this way, avoiding eye contact, having his eyes set at the horizon and the falling star that kept on raining from the gray sky. Looking right at Jimin would only destroy everything. He would make the same mistake in a moment’s breath.

Min Yoongi knew that kissing a boy was wrong. It was wrong to look at Jimin like he was the only thing that mattered in this world. It was wrong to look at Jimin and be reminded to the sky he loved the most. It was simply wrong to have the stars laughing at him after a stupid Thursday night or the blue sky, to have its hands wrapped around his waist on every bicycle ride.

The sky should be up there, hanging above his head, not walking this earth alongside him in the form of a Park Jimin.

“Do you know why I really leave Seoul?”

Jimin's parents found out that their son was gay. They were ashamed of him and sent him to live with his grandmother in this small town to repent for his sins. At least that was what Yoongi knew. He never asked for more.

“My teacher caught me kissing with a boy at school after class. The teacher told my parents about it.”

It all made sense now, why the boy kept on crying in the classroom that earlier months. Back then, he remembered how Jimin said he wouldn't want to date any of the girl from Minju's group no matter how beautiful they were. He was always the one who was a bit uncomfortable whenever Hoseok and Taehyung made a joke about being gay. It was the little thing that Yoongi realized he should have known all along. But then again, he already knew that Jimin was different and he wasn't really surprised back then.

It was the fact that Jimin was in love with him that did.

“They were disgusted. I can see it in their eyes. You don’t know, hyung, how it’s like to have someone looking at you with that gaze.”

He knew, because that was how Jungkook looked at them now. And that was how everyone in this goddamned town would ever look at them afterward. They wouldn't smile at their linked hand. They wouldn't say that their exchanged gaze reminded them of some cheesy soap opera. They would sneer instead, watchful eyes judging them carefully, condemning them to the depth of hell.

Yoongi was tempted to turn around. He could hear Jimin’s voice cracking. The boy was about to cry. He hated it. He hated how sad Jimin looked. It made him angry. It got on his nerve. It bothered him.

“Before I knew it, they had sent me here. They were ashamed of me, hyung. That’s why they kicked me out.”

Honestly he couldn't imagine what Jimin had gone through, the pain that he had to endure.

“I thought that I would hate this place. I do at first, before you guys came.”

And the rest of it was them. The rest of the story was the six of them, giving Jimin the chance to be happy once again. After all those hell, it was their first basketball game, the initiation night and the stupid laughter upon wet clothes at the bottom of the hill. It was winning the game and a broken leg, before it turned into the Auraji Train Tunnel and Gangneung. It was movie nights and dinner at Seokjin. It was Jimin finding happiness once again. Before long, Jimin was a part of them and the boy learned to smile again. He went from that depressed looking boy to the Park Jimin whose smile put even sunshine to shame.

“I thought that I wouldn’t want to fall in love again. I thought that I should be normal. But then there were you and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore, hyung.”

Then there was him. There was Yoongi scolding him for crying for the hundredth of time, Yoongi who offered him a bicycle ride, who appeared in front of his door after running away from home, who lied there on the field with him underneath the starry sky. He was there alongside the star and Yoongi didn't even plan it all out, didn't even think that they would come down to this. 

Yoongi didn’t want to hear any of this. He didn’t want to hear how sad Jimin sounded. But most of all, he was afraid of Jimin's words. Yoongi was bad with feelings. He was bad with spoken words that weren’t rap written beforehand on a piece of paper.

“I didn't plan on doing all of that. I'm scared of you at first and I don't know how it all went down to this. But you're just simply there, hyung. You're always there and before I realized it I've fallen in love with you.”

Just as much as Yoongi was always there for Jimin, Jimin was oddly also there for him. Jimin had fallen in love with him in between the sky they shared, but had he? Did he also feel the same way?

(No, the answer should be a no. It should always be a no. It couldn't be anything else other than a no.)

Yoongi's heart ached. It ached so bad his chest felt like it was exploding in its ribcage.

“And I was so happy that you came back for me, that you said that we could be friends, because I know someone like me doesn't deserve anything more than that. I said to myself that it's going to be enough, that I would be content with just being friends but-,”

But he wanted more. Everyone always wanted more. Both of them were indeed liars. Jimin said that nothing needed to change even though in the depth of his heart he hoped that it would.

And then there was Yoongi and his lies.

(There was Yoongi and his denials)

“-but that day-, you kissed me back-,”

“Don’t.”

“-and I can't help but to think that maybe you-,”

Yoongi finally turned around. He didn’t want to hear about that, about the mistake that he had made, the memory that drove him to insanity. It was wrong in any way possible. Every cell in his body rejected that truth, realizing how wrong it was.

(Or maybe it was his brain telling him that it was wrong, when that little piece of him inside just wanted to relive that moment over and over again).

“It was wrong,” he murmured. “Don’t you know it’s wrong, Jimin? You shouldn’t fall in love with-,” Yoongi said.

And only when he finally made contact with Jimin's eyes did he see how Jimin was ready to break at any second, each moment of it all felt so painful even to Yoongi. Yoongi tightened his fist, casting his eyes away. Why? Why did this hurt him so much as well? He remembered the time when Jimin was so broken, back then when his parents came and they got into a heated argument. He remembered wanting to hug him right there, trying to keep him in place, keeping the pieces that made Park Jimin from falling apart. He wanted to do the same even now, yet he realized how terrified he was to the idea, knowing that it would develop into something more even when all that he did was taking a step forward.

“-a guy?” Jimin let out such a condescending smile. “I know about that more than you do, hyung. I wake up every single day, wondering why I can’t simply fall in love with a girl like Suji or Minju. I can’t choose the person I fall in love with and I don’t even choose it to be you, hyung.”

They were standing in the middle of a road on a Thursday as well last time, with Jimin pinned to the ground and the rain pouring all around them. This time it was the snow floating from heaven, being a witness to their conversation for the hundredth time.

This was a matter of choice for Yoongi. The logical answer was to tell Jimin that everything was wrong like it actually was. It supposed to go as easy as that, but at the same time there was a part of him that cried out each time, telling him that it wasn't that simple. It was the same thing that drove his mind constantly towards Jimin's lips and how he couldn't really explain why he did that mistake back then.

It was something he couldn't understand and the one that terrified him the most.

“I know you're scared, hyung, that you're afraid and you don't understand all of this, but can you please-,”

And logic seemed to win because Yoongi found himself suddenly opening his mouth before Jimin could finish his sentence. Funnily enough, he was reminded to the promise that the two of them made back then, as he looked back into Jimin's eyes and saw the tears that threatened to break.

(And whenever Jimin cried-)

“Can I please what?”

(-he would hurt him so bad.)

He was about to say something so mean. This was necessary. This way, Jimin would understand that loving a guy was wrong. He would get over this whole sexual preferences thing, realizing it to be some sort of a puberty crisis – god knows what to call it. Jimin would know then, that this was something that a normal guy would answer. A normal guy like Yoongi. He liked girls. So of course he didn’t have any reason to say that he also-

“-love you? You want me to fall in love with you?

Min Yoongi doesn’t do feelings-

“Don’t make me laugh, Jimin.”

He was stabbing a knife through Jimin’s heart, he knew. He was breaking the boy down. He wasn't keeping the pieces from falling. He was the one tearing him apart.

Yoongi was breaking the sky apart with his own hand.

“I would never fall for someone as disgusting as you.”

-or so he said.

And the star exploded. The sky cracked and the color reverted to a dull gray. The sun died and the moon crumbled to pieces. At that very moment he could say that the sky died. It exploded and died in his arm.

Never once in his life had he seen the sky so dull, it lost its vibrant and color. Everything was twisted and even the star died upon the night sky, leaving him with nothing but a big, gaping hole.

Just like any other explosion it was silence that followed afterward, and it was agonizingly so as Jimin just stood there, looking at him with eyes opened wide as if he couldn't believe what he just said.

But Yoongi believed what he just said and Jimin should as well.

Just like that the sky turned his back and left him.

Yoongi thought that he would be the one to turn his back the first time. Jimin said that he was free to go after this and he thought it would end up with him running away again like it always had been. This time he didn’t have to. Jimin already did the courtesy of leaving him first, turning his heel around and walked away. That moment, what he thought instead was a ‘good, I don’t need to see him cry’.

That moment, he was satisfied of what he had said. He said the right thing. He pushed Jimin aside. The boy would have his heart broken but it would set him right, wouldn’t it? To fix a broken bone, you have to break it first. Otherwise it would grow ugly and twisted, and that was what Jimin would have turned out to be.

He walked towards Namjoon's house afterward without any burden whatsoever. It was the right thing to do, even every cell in his body said in agreement. He ate dinner with the Kim and chatted about any other nonsense with his best friend later on that night. Everything was fine and Min Yoongi would still be fine.

Min Yoongi had broken Jimin’s heart and he was fine with it. He was completely fine. It was the right thing to do. Therefore he should be fine.

 

(And even when all he felt now was a gaping hole in his chest, Yoongi knew that he would be fine)

 

Chapter Text

New year was coming in a week and he truthfully wasn't expecting the holiday. In fact, he wasn't expecting the winter break as well. The only thing that he should be thinking about was Seoul, but somehow he found himself feeling empty inside. He finally agreed to meet the other boys on Saturday that week, another familiar faces greeting him as they met in Seokjin's house.

Hoseok and Taehyung buried him in a hug, telling him how they missed seeing his grumpy face. Seokjin spoke calmly later as he helped the elder to bring the plates from the kitchen, about how they just wished that Yoongi was doing all right.

We know that you need some time alone,” Seokjin said to him. “But we're always here for you, you know that, right?”

Yoongi just answered him with a hum, because he knew that the 'we' that Seokjin spoke off didn't include certain faces that were missing around the table. In fact, the rest of his friends were pretty much clueless about everything that had happened and Yoongi decided to keep it that way.

Where's Jimin and Jungkook anyway?” Namjoon later on asked.

Jimin's got some stuff to do back home,” answered Taehyung in the middle of chewing. “Jungkook is at Minju-noona's place. They would probably come later.”

Whatever stuff that Jimin got to do back home, Yoongi knew that it was some petty excuse for avoiding him all over again and this time he didn't know what to say to that. In fact, even as he sat there amongst his friends for the first time since forever, he couldn't bring himself to smile, even as stupid as a joke that Hoseok got this time or how much Seokjin tried to cheer him up with promise of another gourmet meal.

The emptiness was then replaced with cautiousness as Jungkook appeared half an hour later with Minju behind him. The girl greeted her boyfriend first with a peck on the cheek before she looked at Yoongi with surprise being clear on her face.

And here you finally are, Mr Troublemaker,” she said with a smirk on her face. “You're definitely the talk of the century, you know that?”

What? All I did was smack some senses to Ikje,” he murmured.

Minju quickly sat next to him before punching him lightly on the arm.

Oh please, you did more than that,” she said with a smile that seemed to be hiding something more.

Dinner was getting a bit louder after that with the addition of Minju, the girl was hyped up about the idea of all of them spending new year's eve together on the hill with a pack of firework and bottle of beers. Yoongi didn't have any remark on that, focusing his attention to his tasteless ramyun. Even as tasty as Seokjin's usual cooking was, everything became sour and unappealing to his mouth.

It was when he brought his empty plate back to the kitchen, that he found Minju following him, or rather, blocking his way back to the table by standing by the door. She could be claiming that she just wanted to grab something in the kitchen, but it awfully looked like she was waiting to talk to him in private.

What?” he said. He clearly didn't have any time for this.

Are you and Jimin fighting?” she suddenly blurt out.

Yoongi raised his eyebrow. What was this? Why did he suddenly feel like he was being cornered out of nowhere, and by Minju of all people. Normally, it would have been his own gang of friends, but this time it was the girl, he couldn't stop thinking how wrong all of this was. At the same time he felt threatened, his fear slowly rising back up, questions swarming in his own head.

We're not,” he lied. “And even if we did, it's none of your business,” he said.

Did she know? She was Jungkook's cousin and she was indeed close with him. Did Jungkook tell her, then? If she knew, she would have told Seokjin afterward. But Seokjin treated him indifferently. Maybe she simply hadn't told him, and when she did, Seokjin would know and soon enough, everyone would-,

It did, if it somehow got Yujin involved,” she said, her tone careful and the friendliness that she had completely disappeared from her voice.

Yoongi took a good look at her and Minju was indeed something to confront him like this. Even during the entire dinner, she acted as if nothing was wrong at first, whilst her cousin decided not to look at Yoongi at all in the eye. In fact, Jungkook had been treating him as if he was invisible.

Are you threatening me?” Yoongi said, answering her back with a sharp gaze, as he took a step forward towards her.

He could see the look that she had faltering for a second. Yoongi wasn't deemed as scary for no reason. He still had his own reputation and he wouldn't back down even if the one standing in front of him was a girl.

I don't know what's happening, all right,” she said, her voice losing the sharpness that it had just seconds ago. “But I care about Yujin and I'm going to personally kill you if you break her heart,” she said, before turning around and went back to the table.

Yoongi certainly didn't know what just happened. At this moment, he was pretty much convinced that Yujin, Minju and Jungkook were aware of what he had done. Clenching his fist tight, he quickly walked pass the table and towards the door instead, disregarding the questions that rose from the table. He just needed to get away. Spending time with his friends didn't make himself feel any better.

He was out on the street already when he heard footsteps racing towards him from behind.

Yoongi, please wait,” it was Seokjin's voice and soon enough, the elder caught up with him, touching him gently on the shoulder.

What's wrong, Yoongi? Can you please just stay? We miss spending time with you. We were having so much fun and-,”

Fun?” Yoongi said, turning around. He was about to snap again. “Next time we are having so much fun you better put a leash on your girlfriend's throat.”

He didn't realize what he just said until the words left his lips and Seokjin's expression twisted. It wasn't anger, it was more of him being surprised. Silence quickly befell them both and Yoongi looked back towards the ground, realizing his mistake and clenched his fist tighter.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that,” he quickly muttered. He shouldn't have insulted Minju. Lately, all he did was hurting people with his own words and action.

He had done the right thing by casting Jimin away for good, but why did as much as he say to himself that it was the right thing to do, something kept on bothering him from the inside? Even now he still wasn't granted with the peace that he was desperately seeking for.

Minju was actually right. He was going to hurt Yujin by dragging her into this mess. Even from the very beginning he already knew that.

What's really going on with you, Yoongi?” Seokjin instead asked, his words calm and comforting.

Nothing,” he answered him back with a lie.

Is there anything we can do to help?”

And even as nice as Seokjin was, he was going to lose him again when he realized what was happening. He would look at him with such disgust just like Jungkook did, before it spread like wildfire to all the people he knew. Disgust was indeed infectious and in the end, he was forced to leave this place, repeating a fate of someone he already knew to well.

Just like you've said, hyung. I just need some time,” he said, remembering Seokjin's earlier words that day before turning around and left.


+.-.+


New year was on Sunday that year. He had been staying at Namjoon's place for almost two weeks ever since the incident with Ikje, with him going back to his own room without being known by his parents from time to time. He still hadn't found his journal and by now, Yoongi was certain that he had lost it somewhere, whether it had fallen out of his bag somewhere during his walk home, or his father had purposely flushed it down the toilet to piss him off. It was better to let it go, although it was indeed such a shame, since he had written some killer lyrics and punchline in it. In the end h e knew that he could always recreate it.

Being such a contrast from him, Namjoon was seemingly ready to start a new life in Seoul, looking up for places to stay and preparing his university application. He told him that he was still going to go to university and pursue his dream as a musician at the same time. Unlike him, his best friend seemed to have everything figure out, while Yoongi felt like he had lost control of his life entirely, all of it slipping past his fingers like the season changing without him realizing.

He stayed away from his friends, venturing the town like a ghost in the middle of winter before finding himself most often than not on the hill with a cigarette resting between his finger. He always came home when it got too cold or when his feet started aching. Breaking a knee seemed to have its long-term effect since the cold made his old wound ache when the weather was too cold to handle.

As days gone by, the dull ache on his knee became the realest thing that he could feel. He slowly found himself being numb, that large hole in his chest started to swallow him whole. Everything was white in front of his eyes and when he raised his head the sky seemed dull, it didn't look like he was even seeing the sky on the first place. For the first time in his life it looked undeniably ugly, he couldn't stand to gaze upon it more than just a few seconds.

Everything was broken no matter how many times he lifted his head. The stars weren't shining and the moon had thousands of tiny crack on its surface. The sun wasn't blinding, its ray dull and boring, he was glad the horizon finally swallowed it whole by the end of the day. Maybe it was winter, making everything nothing but a piece of black and white painting.

(Or maybe it was Yoongi losing himself slowly).

It was new year's eve when Namjoon finally had enough and practically dragged him to the hill even though he didn't want to. His best friend yelled at him and said that he better started living on the street for real if he kept on running away.

I'm not running away,” Yoongi said.

The hell you didn't. Sure, this time you got my house to stay in, but what you're doing right now is exactly that,” Namjoon said.

In the back of his mind he knew that Namjoon was actually right.

So you better drag your sorry ass for whatever reason it could be and meet the other just this time,” he said. “This is our last year, Yoongi. You don't want to leave everything in such a bad term, do you?”

That melancholic little part of him got to remember about all the fun that they had this year, about the group of friends he had been spending his time with since the start of high school and the very people that was left until now. This was probably going to be their last new year together, he better cherished the moment while he could.

Yoongi finally agreed, even when each step that he took as he neared the hill became heavier and heavier. His mind kept on thinking about who was going to be there, because there were indeed certain people he would love to avoid.

Yoongi had spent almost all new year's eve in that little town. Most of the inhabitants would gather on the Auraji Bridge, setting up firework and blowing trumpets together, chatting and laughing along to friendly neighbors over shared soju. This time, their group decided to spend it privately on the hill. Sure enough, he could hear Hoseok's loud shriek from miles away already. The girl from Minju's group was there as well and that would also mean that he was going to see Yujin.

He hadn't talked to Yujin ever since she called him that day and he honestly didn't feel like he needed to. He didn't even know what to call their relationship at this time, but the girl did give him a smile as he arrived there, making him feel even more guilty. Hoseok was actually a blessing, since he was the most oblivious one, treating him just like he always did. He was the only one he didn't have any problem with beside Taehyung, who was surprisingly not there.

(And of course someone else wasn't there as well and Yoongi wasn't even expecting him to be).

He said he was going to be a bit late. Probably stealing some last minute Soju or something,” Namjoon said.

They put out some sheet s so they could sit on the ground, with the girl bringing some hot chocolate and snacks. Minju and Seokjin were there and he didn't say anything to the both of them after what had happened on dinner last time. Jungkook like always acted as if he was invisible. And Yujin-,

Can I talk to you for a minute, Yoongi?” she asked as the others were sitting on the ground, Minju bringing a guitar and playing a song while Hoseok beatboxed and Namjoon rapped at the same time.

In the end, this conversation with Yujin was something he would have to do sooner or later. They walked a few meters away from the others under the shade of the trees, making sure that their conversation wouldn't be heard. He quietly followed her and stopped when she did, looking back at him before taking a deep breath.

Yoongi, about last time, I-,”

You don't need to explain,” he quickly said. Because she probably knew already, Jimin talking to her with a heartfelt confession, hoping that he could speak with him. That was a smart move, because Yoongi knew that he was going to avoid Jimin at all cost. Jimin in return just used his own girlfriend to his advantage.

But-,”

No, it's okay. I understand,” he said, looking at the ground instead of her own eyes.

Yoongi didn't know what she was thinking or feeling right now. He rather avoided this conversation, not wanting to hear any explanation that she had. There were words that simply didn't need to be uttered.

(Although there was indeed one other thing that should be mentioned right now).

There's one other thing I need to talk to you about,” she said again after an agonizing silence.

Yoongi lifted his head again to catch her eyes just slightly and saw sadness reflected upon them. He sighed before turning his gaze back towards the ground. It was better this way.

About this relationship,” she said softly. “I don't think we should continue this.”

He wasn't even surprised. He knew this was coming and the most part of him was actually glad that she decided to mention it first. The pain would be easier to handle for her . The last thing he could offer her was the opportunity to dump him first.

Yeah, you're right,” he spoke back.

Even at the end of the relationship, Yujin couldn't make his heart beat any faster, bringing him that sky he loved the most in front of his eyes.

But then, Yujin took a step forward towards him before placing her hand on his shoulder. “But despite everything, you're still my friend, okay Yoongi? I still love you and I care about you.”

Love him? She had never said those words before and hearing it didn't make him feel anything. His heart beat the same way it did and his brain just told him how much undeserving he was to receive it. Even from the very beginning until its short ending, Yoongi had never really harbored anything more for the girl, which was something that was entirely cruel.

I just hope that one day we could have a relationship where your feeling for me is genuine.”

At this point Yoongi didn't even care anymore whether she knew about his problem with Jimin or not. He had fucked up multiple of times and he didn't even know whether this one was him fucking up or doing the right thing. He just simply nodded and let her hug him for the last time. And as he wrapped his hand around his waist he could only whisper a small “I'm sorry”.

Even as she hummed a yeah, Yoongi still knew that he didn't deserve to be forgiven.

 

 

Chapter Text

New year was supposed to be about happiness, where children raised their arms towards the night sky with laughter plastered across their faces. It was the only day where no one had a reason not to celebrate, people seeking redemption, wishes to be uttered, promises to be made. At the same time it was the day of the year where people put on fireworks, this time being the one that sent their own stars towards heaven. All this time men had received so many of them, floating down towards the ground or shooting across the night sky. If they could wish upon a star, then maybe this time it was the stars who wished upon them, mankind answering it with fireworks of their own.

His friends were having so much fun, Hoseok being the center of attention, putting up a one man show that entertained almost all of them. Minju played the guitar with Jungkook singing beautifully with her. Yujin showcased her singing ability next and it truthfully gave Yoongi goosebumps. He would have complimented her on a normal day, slinging his arm across her shoulder and making her laugh. Beer bottles were opened and they were all laughing along, revisiting certain memory that the year had given them, all the while with the hint of melancholy and the hidden realization that next year would pull them all apart. But tonight it was only about happiness for them, about celebrating the moment and the company that they all had.

Yes, them, with the exception of Min Yoongi.

As the new year came closer and closer, Yoongi started to feel emptier and emptier instead. The more he stood there, watching his friends, the more he felt that big hole gnawing inside of him. Every laughter was needles pricking his skin. Every nostalgic story was a lighter held under his palm. Everything became even harder to endure and the sky started to mock him continuously, asking him why he was even there on the first place.

When he lifted his head it was still the same dull, ugly sky, cracked and burnt with scars overlining them. It reminded him of the disapproving gaze that his father always gave him or the disgust that Jungkook had. It was the stern look that Mrs. Oh gave or his brother who was tired of him screwing his own family up. Out here under the sky he felt somewhat naked, vulnerable under its harsh judgement.

Gritting his teeth, Yoongi just stood up from his seat and turned his heels away, thinking that getting away from all of this would make him feel better. He knew that his friends would probably miss him, but he couldn't stay there for any seconds longer. Every cell in his body screamed at him to go somewhere else, one in which he didn't have to lift his head and see the sky above.

The night was dark and no one was probably going to realize that Yoongi was missing. It was a dick move, he realized, but at least he had fulfilled Namjoon's wish for coming. He wasn't that far away from their spot, only a few minutes walk away down the hill upon the single pathway, when he spot a figure hiking up from the opposite direction.

It was indeed dark, but as the figure called out to him, he could easily tell who it was.

It's me, Taehyung,” he nonchalantly answered.

He remembered the other saying something about Taehyung coming late. Seemed like the problematic kid had finally arrived.

You really do come, hyung,” the younger boy asked as he stepped closer.

Yeah, Namjoon forced me to,” he muttered.

Where are you going now, then?” Taehyung asked, as he realized that Yoongi was going to the direction he was coming from, which meant that he was practically running away.

Yoongi could only sigh, hoping that Taehyung wasn't going to stop him.

I just need to get away. Please don't stop me, Tae,” he said, speaking the honest words.

For a moment Taehyung just stood there in front of him and it felt like the boy was blocking his own path. H e walked aside surprisingly a few moment later without another word and Yoongi found it as a blessing. He muttered a simple thank you and continued walking down the hill.

He thought about leaving that place as fast as he could before Taehyung called out to him once again, stopping him on his track .

Hyung, could you perhaps-.”

Yoongi turned his body slightly, trying to face Taehyung while answering a simple, “What?”

It took the other boy a few moment to contemplate, probably remembering what he wanted to say. It was hard to read the boy's expression with how dark their surrounding was.

But Taehyung shook his head before he continued once again. “No, forget it, hyung.”

Shrugging, Yoongi just thought about walking down the hill, trying to find shelter before the countdown started. That was his initial plan when he heard Namjoon's voice this time, calling his name. That little conversation with Taehyung had certainly cost him his escape, his best friend finally realizing that he was missing and came down to fetch him. If only he didn't run on Taehyung, he was probably farther away already right now for Namjoon to notice.

Tae, you're here?” Namjoon said at the same time to Taehyung. “Wait, where's Jimin?”

Something clicked in his mind that moment. Yoongi froze on his track and turned around, facing Namjoon who was gripping Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung was late not because he was taking some soju, wasn't he? He was late because he was convincing someone else to come.

I tried, hyung,” Taehyung answered, his voice sounding oddly sad.

Something wasn't right.

He's not gone yet, has he?” Namjoon asked again, seemingly concerned.

Yoongi's eyes turned wide. What did he just hear?

I don't know. He was still there when I left. I tried to convince him but he said he didn't want to be a bother anymore,” Taehyung said.

That sensation came back, that odd beat of his heart, that restlessness that had him curling his fist.

Wait, Jimin's leaving?” Yoongi found himself speaking the words, asking both of his friends.

Was this really happening?

He waited for either Namjoon or Taehyung to answer, but all that he got was silence, the two of them oddly keeping their mouth shut.

Why aren't you answering me? I'm asking you, is Jimin leaving?!” he said again, raising his voice.

It was dark but he could see the sad expression on Namjoon's face as he walked closer towards him, as if he was sorry for something. No, this didn't feel right at all.

Jimin promised us not to tell you,” he answered back.

What? That didn't make any sense. Why is he leaving?” he asked again, this time facing Taehyung, hoping that the younger would have an explanation for him.

Taehyung just answered him calmly instead, no sign of mockery or disgust, just simple words coming out from him.

Shouldn't you know, hyung?”

It didn't even feel like it was Taehyung who asked him. It felt as if it was himself who did.

Was it because of him? Because of his words back then? He knew he just broke the boy down. After what he had gone through from Seoul, Yoongi just made everything worse. But it was necessary, wasn't it? In a way, he was helping Jimin. He was making him better. If kissing him was wrong, then doing the opposite would be right.

Breaking the boy's heart would be right.

Hyung, Jimin came to us personally this week, telling us that he's going back to Seoul right after new year. He didn't tell us why. He just made us promise not to tell you,” Namjoon said softly to him.

So Namjoon tried to be the mediator by bringing him to their new year's eve while Taehyung tried to convince Jimin to come . Turned out, the plan didn't work really well either way.

So did this mean both of them knew already? Did Jimin talk to them about what happened respectively? Did they even believe him?

Just-, what really happened, hyung? How could this be so bad that Jimin left Yeoryang-myeon because of you?”

I d-don't know, all right?! I don't even know he's leaving,” Yoongi answered, his voice somehow raising. That moment his mind could only think about whether Jimin was still in town or not. He wasn't expecting this at all. Shouldn't he be happy? He had avoided the boy entirely and now he didn't have to anymore.

He should be happy, his brain said. But somehow, at the same time, he knew he couldn't.

What did you guys even fight about that it got so bad, he had to leave this place at the end, Yoongi?” his best friend returned the word, raising his voice at the same time.

It pissed him off even more . Namjoon had even dropped the hyung and this best friend of his wouldn't certainly stop.

Why do you even assume that I'm the cause of this? Have you asked Jimin, huh? Why do you even think that I've done something wrong?!” he yelled back.

Because that was the script from the very beginning . He would have a problem with Jimin and everyone would assume that it was him screwing up. It was a misunderstanding at first before it turned into Jimin avoiding his very existence. That time it was him who finally put an end to all of it but now-, now was different. Now was-.

Because I know you, Yoongi. You're my best friend since kindergartens and I know you. Heck, we all know you and we all can tell that you're dying inside. All you've done was running away and that certainly didn't look like someone who's innocent to me.”

Lately, all that Min Yoongi had inside of him was anger, the only other emotion that he could rely on, the one thing that could cover that guilt and disgust that was starting to eat him alive . Though as angry as he could get, Yoongi was a terrible liar, especially to himself, because he knew that Namjoon's words were right in a way. He did run away.

He caused a lot of harm to people who loved him. That was his crime.

But he did it for a reason, didn't he? It was for a good cause. To make both Jimin and him normal. To avoid those upcoming hatred from society that they would endure.

(But still, why did he feel like he was a criminal, right now?

All he did was said a few words to Jimin, but why did he feel like he just murdered someone with his own two hands instead?)

You don't have the right to say shit, Namjoon. You don't even know what happened,” he said sharply, pointing his forefinger towards Namjoon.

I'll be glad to know, then. Just what the fuck is happening?!”

Nothing!”

Nothing wouldn't make you act like this. Nothing wouldn't make you leave home for four days, it wouldn't certainly bash Ikje's head on the floor as well. Nothing wouldn't make you avoid Jimin that much, the boy was doing you a good favor for leaving this town for good!”

Was that what Jimin told Namjoon, that he left Yeoryang-myeon because what he just said? Because he was doing a favor for someone who said that he was disgusting?

(For someone who used to promise that he would never see him that way).

Do you even still care about Jimin, because I do. He's my friend. He's our friend, and we all tried to stop him from leaving. If you still considered him a friend you should have known better.”

Jimin was his best friend, there was no doubt about it. Even when the boy said that he loved him, he was still his best friend above all else. There were only two options now. Whether he still consider Jimin as his friend or not at all entirely.

(Or maybe something more instead)

We care about you as well, hyung. We're worried and sick of seeing you two acting like this,” Namjoon said, his voice growing softer.

Even if he told Namjoon, what could his best friend do but sneer and look at him with disgust just like everybody else?

It was his anger speaking, because the next words that left his mouth was poison instead. “Just fuck off and mind your own business, Namjoon.”

With that he quickly turned his back, trying to get away from the place just like he initially wanted to do , before it was a hand suddenly gripping him hard on the shoulder, pulling him back. Instinct got him turning around, fist already up in the air before another already landed on his face, making contact with his cheekbone, it sent him a few steps back. He could hear Taehyung's gasp at that point, the boy taking steps closer, ready to break a fight that would probably ensued.

So you're nothing but a little bitch who could only run away, eh?” Namjoon hissed at him right after the punch.

What did you call me?”

I called you a little bitch, Yoongi,” Namjoon said back. “Or what? You want me to call you gay, just like Ikje never did?”

That moment Yoongi screamed so loudly. He screamed so loudly he threw his body towards Namjoon, the two of them fell towards the ground with him pinning Namjoon from above. His fist was there right beside him and he would repeat the same mistake. He would do to Namjoon what he had done to Ikje back then. He would land his fist repeatedly on Namjoon's face and bashed his head against the hard ground.

Only this time there wasn't a Park Jimin there to stop him.

His fist was still there, hanging on the air, a few centimeters away from Namjoon's face, dar ing him to land the punch, taunting him with a mistake waiting to be repeated. It would be the only thing that he did, then, repeating mistakes all over again, screwing and fucking up. Half of him wanted to just scream and let the wheel of mistake be repeated once again.

Another half of him said that if he did, then he never patched anything up in the first place. The words he said to Jimin was as wrong as hitting Ikje could be. The right that he thought was written in black across the white paper wasn't really black to begin with. He was already lost in between the two worlds he didn't know where he was anymore.

Min Yoongi spent too much of his time looking at the sky when his feet was still rooted on the ground, he was finally lost in between the horizon, not being able to tell which was the sky or the ground. He was trapped in between the two worlds, not belonging to either of them .

He was already lost that winter, when everything was white and Jimin's kiss on his lips made him forget who he was.

Jimin said that he loved me back then after summer.”

Without him realizing it was his mouth, slowly working on its own. He didn't even know why he told Namjoon all of this. He had never told this to anyone, yet the words flowed endlessly from his mouth without him wanting to stop. Namjoon kept on asking for explanations. He was giving the man exactly that this time, waiting for the disgust and hate that he would receive by the end of it.

He told me that he loved me just like anyone would ever love someone they would want to marry.”

He didn't feel like he was looking back at Namjoon. He felt like he was looking back at himself, pinning Min Yoongi on the ground with his own fist hanging on the air.

And I don't see him any differently, because Jimin was my best friend.”

That part was true. He didn't care if Jimin was gay.

But if it was himself who was, it would be a totally different matter.

But he kissed me that day, that rainy day on Thursady and I-,”

And what did you do, Yoongi?

-and I kissed him back.”

He lowered his fist slowly, his fingers felt like trembling and his shoulder shaking. He was so afraid of those words, he couldn't stand to hear it being uttered from Jimin's or amyone's mouth. He wanted to deny that reality, but here he was now finally letting the words roll on his own tongue, because as much as he tried, he would always find himself back on that classroom on that rainy Thursday.

Why do you kiss him back?” Namjoon asked, his words surprisingly calmer and soothing.

Yoongi felt like hiding his face. He felt like curling himself up and be as little as he could, hiding himself from the eyes that gazed upon him. It was judgement that the sky gave him. It was his father's disapproving gaze. It was his older brother being disappointed at him and his mother wanting to cry for having him as a son. Then it would be Jungkook being disgusted at him, Minju who saw him as someone who could only screw up. But Jimin always looked at him differently until that snowy day in winter when he broke the sky down.

I-i don't know. I d-don't know why I did that. I don't understand and I'm afraid. I-,”

He was stuttering, his voice shaking and breaking. He felt his breath hitching in his chest, alongside the heart that ached with each beat. He was empty back then, now he was hurting.

I know it was wrong. It was s-so wrong.”

Yet he did it for the second time. It was a mistake and he repeated it again. It was wrong or so he thought , plaguing his mind ever since.

This was it, Namjoon would be disgusted by him. The same to Taehyung who was standing there, watching the two of them. Or even his other friends, they all had probably heard his scream, rushing towards them to witness the confession he just made.

I nstead, Namjoon opened his mouth once again, his tone still calm even after all of that.

Do you love Jimin?”

Yoongi blinked. What kind of a question was that? Why did Namjoon ask him that? This wasn't supposed to be about love, because Yoongi would and never could return Jimin's feeling. He shouldn't and it was simply impossible. Until he was standing on the sky and it was the ground that he was seeing up above his head, he would never-.

What? With guys-, it's wrong and I'm-.”

Falling in love was different. Falling in love was as simple as what happened between him and music. A walk passed a certain store at a town nearby when he was twelve, accompanying his mom who couldn’t get her mind with the red dress or the blue one. It was a certain music played on the background, Epik High’s Fly. That was falling in love.

What if it's not wrong. Do you love him, hyung?”

Then there was this summer afternoon right after school, when some upperclassmen yelled at him to pass them their basketball back. He did so and it followed by a, 'Do you want to play?' that he returned with a shrug. That was falling in love and he knew it the moment he scored his first three-pointer that day.

N-no, Namjoon, you don't understand, it's wrong, it's w-wrong. It'll always be wrong.”

Then there was Park Jimin.

But what if there's no right or wrong, hyung? There's nothing. Just you and Jimin,” Namjoon said. “Just ask yourself and think about nothing else but that.”

Just him and Jimin just like any other day along the road of Yeoryang-myeon with the sky above their head.

Do you love Jimin?”

There was no right or wrong, just the two of them and the sky. It was just any other day after basketball, Jimin riding the bicycle behind him, telling him to go faster and Yoongi laughing along to everything. It was the two of them sitting in the middle of the road or even the Gyeongpodae, looking at the moon. It was the detention they spent together with the foul smell of toilet or dusty record room.

And there was Jimin, looking back at him with a smile across his face and the sky on his eyes.

Do I love Jimin, then?

Yes.”

Nobody said a word after that. No one moved and even the universe spared a few moment for that fact to seep in, even the wind and the snow stood still. Every eyes were pointed at him, taking note for the single word that had slipped through his lips. They were probably judging again, ready to mock and cast him aside for the sin he just admitted.

But at the same time Yoongi felt as if someone just took off that heavy burden of his shoulder. He dared to lift his head up to see the sky and there they were breathing again, the crack gone and the moon peeked in through the clouds, greeting him. It was the sky that he loved once again.

I love him.”

 

 

Chapter Text

The others were in the middle of charade, Hoseok being unsurprisingly really good at expressing certain stuff with certain body language and silly gesture, until all of them heard the scream. It was hard not to realize it, that single sound that pierced through the night. What bothered them the most was how painful the voice was , chilling them to the bone. It took them quite a while in the middle of the silence that Yoongi and Namjoon were missing. It took them even longer to realize that it was Yoongi's voice. As they ran towards the commotion that Yoongi just made, the others were greeted with the sight of the elder, pinning Namjoon to the ground.

Yoongi slowly got up, having his eyes not on Namjoon nor his friends that were looking at the two of them, being puzzled. At that moment Yoongi couldn't care whether the others just listened to what he had said. He couldn't even care what they would think of him, this time he was the one who treated Jungkook as being invisible. Not only Jungkook. Every single one of them was invisible, not holding any value whatsoever to him.

Because there was no right or wrong or Namjoon said , just Jimin, him and the sky.

He didn't need to say anything else. Just like always his legs already knew where he needed to go.

So Yoongi started running . He dismissed the shouts and protest of his friends and ran as fast as he could, just like that day under the summer sky. He ran until his knees started wobbling and his breath choking. After all, t hat was the only thing that Min Yoongi kept on doing this whole time; running. All this time he'd been running away and only this once, he hoped he was finally running to the right direction .

As he neared the Auraji Bridge, he could see the people gathering already, face painted with smiles, ready to set up the firework and counted the last remaining seconds of the year. Yet as people was eager to greet the new beginning, Yoongi was still desperately clinging to that hope of fixing what he had done wrong in this year, fearing that the chance would slip pass through him once the clock strike twelve.

It was right when he reached the Auraji Bridge when he heard the first countdown, the ten echoing clear across the night sky. And during the same ten did he remember about the horrible words that he had uttered to Jimin, the scene that was witnessed by nothing but the snowy sky. When the nine was spoken it was the kiss that he remembered, the hungry touches that they exchanged, the fear that he felt creeping under his skin, but also the pleasure that was exploding in his chest, each beat making him hungry for more.

Eight reminded him of the night they spent stargazing on the school field, even as much as a joke it had become, but that day he promised that they would last forever, that spring would come and they would still be there side by side, laughing towards the stars. It was the foul smell of the toilet or the suffocating, dusty storeroom on seven, which told him that detention could also mean happiness and fun, something that he wouldn't even imagine. He was halfway through the bridge when it was Jimin's face that flashed in his mind on six, wet from the pouring rain, but still he wouldn't break his promise, keeping the tears from falling like the rain did . Six was a love confession that changed everything and how much a promise meant to Park Jimin.

Five was Gangneung, the five moon on Gyeongpodae and the day of pure bliss that they spent together as a group, with a promise of five years that he didn't know he could even keep by now. Four was the walk to the Auraji Train Rail, when oblivious was all that he could be and the contrasting blue and green upon the warm breeze was simply another word for being ecstatic.

Lighters were lit and fireworks were aimed at the sky and Yoongi tried the impossible to run even faster on three, when they made their promise in the classroom, that Yoongi would hurt him so badly Jimin would stop crying. Jimin broke his promise already but Yoongi sure kept hold of his words, because he did hurt him so much even tears stopped pouring out of his eyes. Two was running away from home after a fight, climbing down a tree and a bleeding feet, before it somehow turned into a bicycle ride and a broken leg. But two was the start of it all, the sadness that blend together beautifully with happiness, pain and pleasure stitched together just like the scarlet did with the day and night at that fleeting sunset.

It were children pressing their lips against the trumpets on one, it was lighters being lit and hands circling tighter. But one was him scolding the boy, telling the pathetic Park Jimin that the sky was far more interesting to see than his own two feet, that Yeoryang-myeon was happiness and Seoul was a token of sadness long forgotten.

And the sky exploded once again.

It was the sky exploding on a happy new year, trumpets being blown and fireworks shooting towards the sky. It was lovers circling their hands tighter before sharing a kiss. It was stars shooting up towards the sky. It was the only day where people's head were drawn towards heaven, finding their man-made stars made love with the night sky.

And when all heads were lifted towards the sky, Yoongi's was the o nly one that stayed rooted on the ground.

Because it was a boy, sitting alone in the classroom on a 'happy new year', a boy that stayed there on his seat even when lesson was over to cry at the end of the countdown. It was that weird new student who always had his eyes on the ground and a depressing aura around him, one that stood right behind him. And on a 'happy new year', it was red stinging eyes greeting him as he stepped inside of that classroom for the first time to retrieve his notebook on a rainy day.

The sky was exploding all above him, vibrant color probably being a contrast upon the night sky, human mocking god for being able to paint an equally beautiful painting upon the black canvass. But Yoongi just kept on running, ignoring both the pain on his knees as and the fireworks behind him, pushing himself harder, climbing the steep hill towards Songcheon-gil and thought about the only sky that mattered.

He was huffing and puffing when he was nearing Jimin's house. He had to be home. He had to be. Just like last time he was running all the way here with a fear, one that this time was going to be a reality.

Just like last time he was going to frantically knock on the door and the old Park would open it, no matter how late it was right now. She would open the door and told him that Jimin was preoccupied in the moment, which meant that the boy was indeed still there, sitting by the chair or probably locking himself up in his room, not wanting to be seen. A t least he was certain that he would be there, that the door would open and-.

Yoongi, what are you doing here?” the old Park said, surprised with his sudden arrival.

Yoongi tried to open his mouth, tried to call out for Jimin's name but what came out was his own heaving breath. He bent down, hands on his knees before standing upright again, cursing himself to croak the word out of his mouth.

J-Jimin, w-where's-.”

For a moment it seemed like the explosion outside had died, the world suddenly turning mute, or Yoongi was simply deaf right now. Jimin was supposed to be gone after new year. It could be tomorrow, or at least it should be. He was only a few minutes late. A few minutes passed midnight. He should still be at home.

He halfheartedly hoped for her to suddenly smile like always, to tell him that 'Yes, Jimin is inside and waiting for him'. Or probably he had to force his way inside just like last time, to make sure that she wasn't lying to him.

But that smile he waited never come, the old Park looking at him with a simple gaze that made his heart fell from his chest. She didn't utter a yes or no, didn't even really answer his question. What she gave him was an apology instead, one that baffled and scared him.

I'm sorry, Yoongi.”

W-what do you mean?” he said.

I'm so sorry,” she whispered again.

'Sorry' wasn't an answer. What did sorry even mean? Why did she apologize to him?

Jimin just left.”

Yoongi couldn't process the words because he simply didn't believe it to be true. Last time he was so afraid that the boy would leave. This time he realized that fact too late, but like last time, shouldn't he get another chance? He had fucked up multiple of time, so why couldn't he get a chance for this one as well?

I'm sorry, Yoongi.”

Seemed like he was taking those chances for granted. He had run out of second chances. This time he had destroyed Jimin completely he didn't even deserve to see the boy again. This was fate speaking to him in a stern voice, the befalling judgment that heaven gave him.

B-but I haven't s-said-.”

-goodbye? I'm sorry? Forgive me?

Did he even deserve to say those words now? After all that they had been through and Yoongi had to say that Jimin was disgusting. He had to break Jimin apart once again, breaking his own promise to the boy.

Not only to the boy. He had broken his promise to the Old Park as well. His promise that he would take care of Jimin, that he would make him happy just like what he had unknowingly done before . Instead, he had purposely hurt the boy so bad, what he was doing was completely the opposite of everything.

What's wrong, Yoongi?” the old Park asked, her voice calm and soothing like it always was.

Why did she apologize to him? Didn't she know what he had done to her grandson? Didn't she know the terrible things that he did?

I-i did something terrible to Jimin,”

And he looked back at her eyes and it hurt him even more to find nothing but kindness, just like the day the three of them sat around the table for dinner with exchanged stories about the memory of their wonderful little town. She looked at him as if nothing had changed.

I-i hurt Jimin so badly, I-i break my p-promise to you a-and I-.”

It's okay,” she cut him before he could finish his sentence.

It shouldn't be okay. Shouldn't she be mad right now, telling him what he did was wrong? Shouldn't she yell at him just like his father or Namjoon did? Shouldn't she at least show any sign of disdain towards him because that was what he deserved for fucking everything up. That was what Min Yoongi always deserved, a scream or poisonous words being spewed at him, until physical contact kicked him back into reality, being the only language that he understood.

No. It shouldn't be okay. I broke Jimin's heart. I told him that he was disgusting. I drove him away.”

He didn't deserve this kindness as much as Yujin's.

It's okay.”

No, don't you understand? It shouldn't be okay! What I did-, after all that he had been through, after everything-, and yet I-.”

He knew that his words would hurt Jimin but he still did it anyway. He didn't even have the right to be forgiven and here he was, running frantically to the boy's home. What did he hope to achieve? To look back at Jimin's eyes and said that he was sorry?

Or to look back at him to say that he-,

I love him.”

And suddenly it was raining. Suddenly the sky opened up and it started to rain. It started as a single drop of tear from heaven, hitting the ground hard. Just like any rain, it started slow and light before it became unbearable anymore, the clouds letting all those burden off of its shoulder.

Just like that summer day, Yoongi found himself standing in the middle of a pouring rain, even when the sky was clear as day and the ground dry .

It's okay,” the old Park whispered once again as Yoongi's knees met the ground.

Why did she keep on saying that? Why couldn't she be mad at him? Things would be easier then, perhaps, because Min Yoongi didn't deserve pity or care. After what he had done he didn't deserve to ask for forgiveness. He didn't deserve to see Jimin.

Most important of all he didn't even deserve to say that he loved the boy.

He had destroyed Jimin and he didn't deserve to say that he loved him. Love wasn't tearing him apart. Love wasn't telling him that he was disgusting. Even when Jimin did love him once, it didn't mean he was deserving of the same feeling right now.

I l-ove him a-and all I d-did was b-break him.”

His shoulder was shaking so hard. The words that were escaping his lips were incomprehensible in between the sobs that he was making. The sky opened up and let everything go, it was raining so hard, Yoongi was lost in the middle of it.

I luh-love him. I love J-jimin and I-I'm s-sorry. I-I'm s-so sorry.”

He was about to fall on the ground but the old Park's hands stopped him from doing so, they were wrapping themselves around him tightly.

Yoongi forgot when was the last time he ever cried, but he knew he hadn't cried this hard since he was a little kid. He felt like one this time, crying so hard, Jimin's name and the word sorry being repeated over and over again. It was as the last 'it's okay' being whispered and a hand that rubbed him from behind in a soothing manner that Yoongi completely broke apart, the words that left his lips turned into a painful scream.

He was too late. This time the universe said that he had overstayed his welcome, had fucked up too much. Jungkook was disgusted with him, his other friends had heard his confession and they would pretty much follow Jungkook's lead. His family had thrown him away and he didn't have any clue whatsoever to make his dream of Seoul a reality. He had lost the only girl that cared about him and treated her like a disposable tool, toying with her genuine and honest feeling. Most of all he had lost his best friend, someone who loved him and whom he realized he loved as well.

He was simply too late to realize his own feelings, just like always.

Because Min Yoongi didn't do feelings or so he said.


It was indeed a fitting end.


+.-.+


The first light of new year was warm and cheerful. The sky was blue for the first time in winter after a slight drizzle that poured the town in the early break of dawn. Far across the horizon the sun made its entrance, greeting them with the first day of a new year, where most eyes would be awaken with a smile.

The teenage couple who loved one another sincerely for months and years to come would wake up after their first time sharing each other warmth , smiling towards each other upon the messy bed and thrown-up clothing lying on the floor, greeting the new day with a soft morning kiss. Two best friends who kept on making a fool out of themselves during the night would wake up with a hangover, still having the audacity to laugh at one another as they poured the inside of their stomach into the nearest toilet seat, even though one of them was having his mind on his other best friend at the same time . The young boy would be thinking about a first kiss that he had received from a certain beautiful girl underneath the fireworks last night and how the memory still made those butterflies in his stomach flapped their wings even harder. The honest, kindhearted girl would stand in front of her desk, throwing away a certain photo of her and a boy that she used to love into the trash can, realizing that everything was over between the two of them. The boy who had his mind set on his future would be sitting by the edge of his bed, worrying about his best friend who had been missing for the entire night, wondering whether what he had done was the right thing or not.

Meanwhile, t he boy who kept on having his heart broken would wake up in his old bedroom after months , looking out of his window and realized th at he hated the sky more than anything.

Yet the boy who had always loved the sky found himself sitting on his seat in the classroom he had been spending almost a year in with the boy whose heart he had broken.

Yoongi had cried in front of Jimin's grandmother last night as he realized that Jimin was gone. He had left Jimin's house after his scream had reduced to a faint sob and his vocal chord felt like burning. What he did after that was a blur, because as always it was his feet that led him to places his brain didn't even register . He didn't know how long he had walked and how many times had passed since then, but he oddly found himself in front of his school building instead. The sky was red and the birds were already chirping as he entered his old classroom, the lack of illumination didn't really give him much fright. After all, there was no cries to be mistaken as a ghostly figure along the hallway.

This time it was only him alone, sitting on his table with red stinging eyes at the first day of new year. Yoongi didn't really understand why he went to his classroom after everything that had happened but he quickly found the answer as he put his hand into his table's drawer, realizing a book that he had forgetfully left there weeks ago.

He remembered searching his bedroom and even Namjoon's, but he hadn't searched for his drawer back at school. Only now did he remember the last possible place in which he could find his notebook.

There were thousands of things that Yoongi wrote in his notebook (still not calling it a diary). He wrote about days, sometimes making a poor sketch of the teacher’s boring face with a fist on his face and lots of facial hair that weren’t supposed to be there (Yoongi’s teacher is a perfectly grown woman who doesn’t develop any facial hair whatsoever). Most of all he wrote lyrics, though he barely showed it to anyone else but Namjoon. Those he wrote in his notebook, he admitted, was pretty embarrassing to be gazed upon by any naked eyes but himself.

It was because of his notebook as well did he see Jimin for the first time, as he cried in the classroom on a rainy day. His thought ran towards that first day of school term and he flipped the pages open.


He was weird. I walked into him crying alone in the classroom.


He read his words one by one, and he saw it, written boldly at the bottom of each page. And he flipped the next one, and the next one, and down at the very bottom of each pages he would see it written clearly like a sin. Something about a new boy at school. Something about being happy underneath a summer day. Something about a promise. It were their memories together, being recorded from the very first day he ever laid eyes on the boy.

There would always be something about Park Jimin.

The brat, Yoongi called it.

He had spent days being confused when the answer was right there all along.

Yoongi felt like screaming again, felt like grabbing a black marker and furiously scribbled away every last mention of Jimin's name in his notebook. Even if he did exactly that, it wouldn't drive Jimin away. It would only turn him into a black hole that he was right now, a deep gaping scar that made the air that he breathed fe el like a knife lodging itself in his ribcage.

Each day Park Jimin left a mark in his journal, creeping his way into the most private part of Yoongi’s life, being a name that ended his night, a name that he just had to mention. Each page reminded Yoongi of the memories that turned into guilt, clawing at his chest with such agony, breathing seemed to be a luxury he couldn’t quiet grasp upon. And each page got him frantically flipping through it, realizing how Park Jimin had always managed to be a part of something in his life.

His fingers were already shaking and he felt that pain in his chest, stopping himself from breathing when he got to the last page, to the last entry that he wrote about Jimin. He was reminded about the promise he had broken, about the words that left his mouth. He was the one being disgusting right now, for all that he had done to Jimin.

I t didn't stop only there, because Yoongi realized a crooked page and a stain of tears that wasn't coming from him upon the paper. It had dried up indeed, but it had left the paper wrinkled and noticeable enough for him to flip through the next page with heart beating like mad.

It was a pathetic smile that bloomed on his face afterward. Laughing was a coping mechanism, he remembered someone saying those words to him, and that was exactly what he thought about doing. He thought it would be laughter that escaped his lips as he opened his mouth, just like what those cliché characters those in a movie. Instead, it was a sob, soft and pitiful, before his shoulder started to tremble. The tears rolled down his eyes before Yoongi could even notice them, raining upon the paper and those scribbled words, meeting the ones that had stained the page first possibly days ago.

Yoongi had indeed searched for his notebook and completely forgot that he had left it where he always did. He was always afraid that someone like Namjoon would peek into it, would look at the most private part of himself that he tried to hide. It wasn't even surprising now to find that someone finally did, scrawling their own words upon something that would be the perfect resemblance of his heart with permanent ink. That, or even carving those words deep into his skin.

Because he knew to whom those foreign letters belong. He could picture it perfectly in his head, Jimin sitting on his desk, reading his notebook and leaving something of his own in them. He could curse him and called him name, yet what he wrote made Yoongi realized how disgusting he actually really was, how undeserving he was of anyone's love.

As the tears fell harder and the sobs escaping his lips turned into a painful scream, Yoongi remembered how everything ended the way it had started. Inside of a classroom with a boy, sitting on his seat with red stinging eyes.

 

 

I'm sorry