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Never Be Alone

Chapter Text

 

_+_

 

Gerard had messaged him for the third time that night. He didn’t respond, of course, because he had far too many people and far too many things to do besides chat with him, but he could only hope.

Who he was talking about was the one and only Louis Tomlinson. One of the five people in the biggest boy band, and his favorite band, in the world. One Direction. They meant everything to him. They were the only thing that mattered to him, really. It was their music that kept him happy, their music and how nice and kind they were to their fans. He especially liked Louis, who was the best of them all.

But whenever he messaged Louis on the Social Media site, he never responded. No matter what it was, nothing was ever sent back to Gerard despite the hundreds of messages he’d sent. And that was okay with him. Just sending the message made Gerard feel better inside. At least he had their music. If he didn’t have that, he would be more miserable than he was now.

His life wasn’t easy. And for a 16 year old boy, he knew it would only get worse. His father beat him, and yelled at him. His father, Scott, hated his son. Gerard was blamed for his mothers’ leaving them a few years ago. He came out as gay and his mother despised him for it so much she couldn’t even be around him. After that, his father began the abusive words because he hated that Gerard was why his only love left. ‘Fagot’ wasn’t even the half of what was said every day. He cried his self to sleep from pain, emotional and physical. His father used corporal punishment when he didn’t say something right. He used his belt and made him bleed. The only freedom from his father was when he went to work, as a bouncer at a local club.

He had no one. He didn’t even have a friend or go to school to make anything because his father home-schooled him, and never let him leave the house, and that was torture. Being surrounded by nothing but bad memoires and his father’s hurtful words and fists, Gerard had only dreamt of a better life.

It was that evening he was beaten for being stupid, so said his father. With swollen eyes from crying, and a throbbing pain on his butt and back from the belt, he messaged Louis one last time before passing out.

‘hope ur night was better than mine, it ended in pain’

_+_

He woke up and was surprised to find his father gone. Usually he was back from work, and would have Gerard cook breakfast for them both. So he put in an Eggo and waited, and checked his phone. And there was a new message in his inbox.

It was from Louis Tomlinson.

Gerard’s heart stopped beating. Then, it went into overdrive. He clutched his phone (he got it from his father, a hand-me-down that had a cracked screen but it worked so he was glad to have it) to his chest and lost it. He grinned for a second, took a seat, a breath of cool air, and opened it. It was recived four hours ago, 5 am.

‘oh, love, what happened?’

Gerard checked his last message he’d sent. He couldn’t remember last night after his father came into his room and took hold of his belt to whip him. He was so high on pain that apparently he’d spilled that he’d gotten hurt, and Louis cared enough to respond.

Gerard didn’t usually send such and emotional message. It was usually ‘hi how are you’ and ‘love this song’ and so on.

But he’d responded. And that, that was more than Gerard could ever hope for. Louis Tomlinson actually chatted back to him.

Gerard nibbled on a banana and hummed. He resituated his self on the sofa so he didn’t lay on his butt too much, it still had some welts on one cheek. He got to thinking. Maybe he could spill everthing to Louis. He’d never done it, because he wanted positive thigns to say to Louis, he made Gerard so happy. But he could fianly tell somebody and why not Louis Tomlinson? He wasn’t there, he couldn’t do any harm by saying that over the internet in a private chat box. Louis didn’t know him or anything about him besides Gerard’s username. It was sort of like he could say anything he wanted and it would be all right.

After thinking of what to say back, he responded to Louis with ‘the usual nightly routine’. It seemed a bit emo, but it was true. Almost every day or night Gerard got beaten, if it wasn’t a slap in the face it was a spanking with the belt on his bare ass. If it wasn’t a beating, it was choking while Scott told Gerard how worthless he was, and how he wished he had left like his mother had.

Gerard sighed, and took some pain meds before putting on the TV. He waited for a reply as he watched My Little Pony, something he could only watch when his father wasn’t home. He couldn’t watch TV at all when Scott was home unless he wanted more of his belt.

It was an hour later that his phone dinged. He was so quick to grab it and look, jittering, wondering if he went to far, if it was Louis or just an alert.

But it was him. ‘the usual? That isn’t good at all love. Please talk to someone okay’

‘cant its too risky I’ll get in trouble’

That, and Gerard didn’t want to live in a foster home, which is what would happen if he left or told.

Louis still kept messaging him. ‘please love if someone is hurting you get the police or a friend to help you. I don’t want you hurt’

Like Louis actually cared about him, and Gerard was so touched he actually made a half-sobbing sound. No one cared about him before, and now Louis friggin Tomlinson cared about him. ‘don’t have anyone to help tbh’

‘so then the cops? A neighbor?”

Gerard didn’t respond to that yet. He didn’t know what to say to that. What could he say? That his father trapped him in the house. That he barely got out, only at night to walk to the corner store to get snacks with his pitiful money he earned doing mediocre things for the neighbors that didn’t care about him still. That his father beat him.

He grit his teeth to keep from crying. ‘I have no one’

Louis didn’t reply.

_+_

Gerard had an odd little fantasy. He wanted to be treated like a baby. So when he found that out about his self, thinking himself an outcast, he searched online and found an entire community of people that also liked that. And he found more about it. He almost wanted to join some of them in their little groups, but he found it too frightening and scary.

So instead, he read, looked, and dreamed and imagined being an adult baby. Pictured himself in diapers and onesies, and sucking on pacifiers that were big enough for his mouth. If he owned a credit card he would buy so much cute stuff online. And their were mommies and daddies that took care of their ‘littles’, and Gerard wanted that, wanted somebody to care for him like that so desperately. It would make everything so easier. He just wanted someone to love him.

Sometimes, he slipped into a headspace. At night when he got comfy with his blankets, when Scott wasn’t home. But he couldn’t do it too often, only once a week or so. It made life seem better, and his head less crazy. All he did was watch cartoons, My Little Pony was one of his favorites, and cuddle his blanket and be as little as he wanted to be. Gerard was his happiest then.

_+_

For the next few weeks Gerard and Louis chatted. It was nice, and the best part of Gerard’s day was when he got Louis’ messages. They talked like normal friends, and then they talked about the not so normal things. Like Gerard’s life. Eventually Louis got it out of him why Gerard had sent him that first chat he'd read. There were so many supportive messages, x’s and o’s by the hundreds, and it made him feel so good. He felt wanted and liked. He knew that not all people were like his father, but it was great to see it.

That night Louis was the first to send him something. He lay in his bed on his belly, kicking his feet up and down. His father was at the club working so he was free to do what he wanted.

‘hi lovely how are you? :)’ He was so sweet to Gerard.

‘Good! Just having a quiet night. You?’

‘Not so quiet. H is having a get together for us five, making drinks and dinner. Everyone is drunk haha’

Gerard smiled and giggled to his self. ‘you aren’t?’

‘nope. Wanted to be sober to talk to you, sweetheart. Make sure you were okay’

Gerard blushed. Louis said the kindest things, and when he called him sweetie or love his heart pounded.

‘oh thanks! But you rlly didn’t have to im fine’

‘he not home 2nite?’

Gerard frowned. He didn’t like talking about his father. ‘no, he’s working.’

Gerard grabbed his blanket and covered himself with it. It was a comfort item to him. He really didn’t want to think about his father. Not when, just yesterday, he got caned for failing his math quiz. Scott printed things from online for his home-schooling but didn’t teach him anything, and just beat him for it when he failed.

‘G, when are you gonna get help? I worry about you every day love’

He sniffled, wiping his nose on his pillow. ‘don’t know. Im afraid I guess’

‘what are you afraid of? Don’t you want it to stop?

‘of course. Im just afraid of what will happen after. Im only 16’

He didn’t want to go to a foster home, that sounded just as awful.

And, oh. He just told Louis his age. He was 5 years younger than him. Would this be it, the end of their conversations that made Gerard the happiest he’d ever been? He would go lay in a deep, deep hole if that was true. Was he too young for Louis to talk to, or was he too immature?

The next message was a little bit late, and those 8 minutes that went by were terrifying, Gerard thinking he was forgotten again.

‘It will be hard I know, but you’ll be away from that pain and be happy without him, that im sure of. Im only trying to help you, love, so don’t take this the wrong way xoxx’

Gerard giggled through his little amount of tears. ‘can we not talk about it anymore plz?’

‘ok, if that’s what you want baby.’

Gerard’s heart stuttered. ‘so how’s that party?’

‘niall and li are trashed dancing on Wii. Z is with Haz in the kitchen eating everything’

‘and you?’

‘bored. They think ive been ignoring them cuz im talking to you.’

‘im sorry! :(‘

‘don’t be, I like talking to you! x’

Gerard rubbed at his eyes. He was suddenly tired. He didn’t know if it was from staring at his phone screen or the usual emotional nights of his life, or what. ‘im think im gonna head to bed now.’

‘ok baby have a good sleep. Before you go can I get your phone number?’

Gerard held in a scream. Without question, he typed it in. Not a minute later he got a text message. ‘this is lou! Xoxoxx’

He hadn’t ever felt anything better before. He went to bed, grabbing his newly bought pacifier (he had to settle for a regular one he’d gotten at the store, it was a pink one, too. It wasn’t good for his jaw but he had a tiny mouth anyway, and he stuck his thumb in there sometimes as well). Feeling content in his heart, he fell asleep.

_+_

He’d had enough of the pain. Enough of the crying. Enough of his father. He just wanted it to end.

His father was drunk, and it was the first time he’d come home wasted. And he beat his ass with a belt, and choked him, so much that Gerard was lifted off the ground for a second, and slapped his face and kicked him in the side. He spat on him. Called him ugly, faggot, and an idiot he never wanted.

Gerard watched him go into his bedroom, slamming the door. Everything came crashing down on him and he decided with finality right then what to do.

So he left.

It was 1 in the morning. He was just walking the streets, well, limping in the streets. All he had was a backpack with clothes and a few other things. He was done with his fathers’ shit. He was done with the pain. He just wanted to have one person care about him, one that didn’t hurt him like Scott.

So he called the only person in his contacts besides 911. The only one who did care about Gerard. Louis.

They hadn’t ever heard each other’s voices over the phone. He’d had his phone number for four days now, and all they did was text. Still messages online too, but mostly just short little texts.

When he answered, Louis sounded wide-awake. “G?”

“L-loui-is?” He could barely talk. His voice trembled and his throat hurt and he just wanted to sleep and not be in pain.

“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” he panicked. “Where are you at?”

“I-I don’t kn-know.” He sobbed, and curled up in an empty street way. “Please. It h-hurts.”

“Do you need a hospital, an ambulance?”

“N-no.” He let out some hiccupping sobs. “It h-hurts so m-much Louis, please make it sto-op!”

“Oh god. Harry, we need to leave now!” he shouted. Then, much softer, “Ger, honey, I’m coming for you, okay? We just landed here, and I can go to you. It’ll be a while, so I want you to find someplace safe, a locked bathroom somewhere or anything, and wait for me.”

Louis was here? Why? “Why?”

“Why what love?”

“Why…here?” He wiped his eyes, and groaned. His face hurt. It was swelling, too, he could feel it.

“To see you. I wanted to see you. Now just do as I said, please, love.”

“Okay.” He started walking to a nearby fast food chain that was open 24/7. He would sneak in and use their bathroom, lock the door if he could.

“Where are you gonna be, G?”

He told him where, they said their goodbyes and that was it.

Then Gerard waited for him in the tiny bathroom. He put cold water on his face to make the swelling go down, pressed a wet paper towel to his neck to help take away some pain from the choking, and he looked at his behind in the mirror. It wasn’t pretty, had lots of red and black and purple lines of bruises. His dark black hair was matted, his green eyes dull and swollen from crying.

And Louis was going to see him like this, which just made him cry. The first time they would meet and he’d be covered in marks his father left. Perfect.

He had his phone clutched to himself in case anything changed, but it was low on battery. He got one message from Louis saying that he was an hour away, and then his phone died. So he lay on the floor, curled up, he was short anyway, only 5 foot 5, using his bag as a pillow even though it hurt his face, and closed his eyes.

There was a banging on the door that woke him up. He whimpered when he opened his eyes it was just darkness, the lights having timed out. He tried to sit up but it hurt his back and bottom.

Luckily, the door was thrown open, and there was his hero, Louis. Behind him, a fast-food worker girl, and Harry Styles, all three with worried looks, but Louis’ the most worried of all. He was ashamed, so he looked down, avoiding their eyes.

“Ger, honey,” he cooed, and knelt in front of him. He touched his chin to lift it, and he had the kindest brightest eyes. “We’re gonna get you help, okay?”

“N-no hospitals please.” He whispered, throat throbbing.

Louis looked him over, saw all his injuries that were bare, then looked back at Harry, who shrugged. The worker was gone by now, Harry probably shoed her away. “We can get one for him at the hotel. If he can wait a few more hours.”

“Please,” he begged. He didn’t want anyone else seeing him this way, and he didn’t want anyone finding out about this, about how it happened. “Please, Louis.”

“Okay. But we’re getting you some meds, and then you’re going to rest.”

He nodded, wincing. “Okay.”

“Save your voice, love, your throat looks very bad. Can you stand?”

His lip wobbled. “N-no.” He wiped his eyes, and whined. “Hurts everywhere.”

“Okay, honey, I’ll carry you.” He somehow maneuvered Gerard into his arms with little pain, and Harry took his bag for him, Gerard thanking him. “No talking,” Louis scolded gently, taking them out to a car. It was Harry’s car. If Gerard wasn’t in so much pain, he’d be star struck. But he was just embarrassed, and wanted to sleep and not hurt all over.

“Lay him in the back, I’ve got a blanket he can have.” Harry opened the back door, and Louis lay him down along the seats. Harry had a light blanket and Gerard gave him thanks with his eyes, and Harry smiled softly at him.

“We’re going to the store to get some pain meds for you, then you can sleep good, okay, hon?” Louis pet his hair, and Gerard sighed. “I’ll look after you, I promise. I’ll take care of you now, G.”

Gerard closed his eyes, and smiled. He always wanted to hear that.

The ride to the store was quick, and they made him drink a bottle of water and three pills, they didn’t say what they were but he trusted them more than he did his own family. 15 minutes later, he was feeling better, numb, and then he was asleep.

_+_

“Lou, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I do. He’s got no one anyway, he told me. I will take care of him and he knows that.”

“But this way? Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. Didn’t you see his bag? He’s got a pacifier and a baby blanket, and he sucked his thumb the whole ride here. If it doesn’t work, I’ll stop. But it will.”

“If you’re sure.”

Chapter Text

He wasn’t sure what woke him up, but suddenly he was wide awake, and immediately he found someone with green eyes and curly hair watching him. Harry Styles was watching him, standing by the bed he was in.

Harry Styles was so close he could touch him. It was amazing that even with that feeling, all he wanted was to see another member of One Direction instead.

“Hello,” Harry greeted, smiling, dimples and all. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah.” Thank god Gerard wasn’t in as much pain as yesterday. His muscles weren’t so sore and he could breathe without feeling a throbbing in his throat. His hand went to grasp it lightly, and found a bandage around it. He frowned.

Harry went on to explain the happenings of after Gerard was passed out or drugged up. “We had a doctor come and give you some pills. He said you need to take them twice a day, or when you’re in pain, but no more than 6 pills a day. You have to put some cream on all your bruises too, they were pretty bad he said.”

Yeah, they were very bad. “But where’s Louis?”

Harry smiled. “He went to get you some clothes from the store nearby.”

Harry gestured to the bed, and Gerard nodded for him to sit. Looking around he noticed they were in a fancy hotel bedroom, a big one at that, with a door to the bathroom and a tall wide window with thick curtains blocking out the sunlight.

“Will he be back soon?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, he should be back in any minute now.”

There was some silence, and it was an awkward one, too. Gerard didn’t know what to say to Harry, and clearly Harry didn’t either. The situation was an odd one. Gerard just wanted to take his blanket and hide under it until Louis came back. He knew Louis, not Harry. Well, he knew them, but he didn’t know Harry personally like he did Louis.

Suddenly he had the urge to go to the bathroom, and knew he couldn’t get there alone with his injuries. “Harry, can you—uh, can you help me to the bathroom?”

The older fidgeted his legs, and his cheeks turned red, avoiding Gerard’s confused look. “Well, you were passed out for about a day, and…since the doctor couldn’t… and you couldn’t…” He licked his lips, and finally glanced at Gerard to still say nothing, just gaze at him.

And Gerard was so lost about what was happening. Why couldn’t Harry just help him? Harry was the nicest guy, certainly helping Gerard walk to the bathroom wasn’t a big deal. So he just tried to get up himself, and that was when he felt it. The padding all around his waist, the crinkling sound near his crotch.

He had been put into diapers.

Gerard’s cheeks turned red. He was in the same room as Harry Styles, and he was in diapers. He turned his face away, hiding the deep blushing of his cheeks from Harry. “O-oh.”

All Harry said was “Yeah.”

Gerard started to cry, really, really cry. Sobbing, shaking shoulders kind of cry, with his salty tears streaming over his face. Just imagining them, Harry or Louis or even a strange doctor, changing his diaper while he was passed out from drugs was horrifying. He’d had dreams about this, wearing diapers and being coddled, but this was a bit like violation. They cleaned his pee and poop while he slept on.

Gerard wailed, and put his hands over his face.

Harry was frantic then. “No no no! Please don’t cry!” He jumped up and left, and came back with the boy’s actual baby blanket he had in his bag, but that just made it worse, knowing they went through his things and probably knew about his fantasy, and that was probably why they did this, to tease him.

Louis didn’t care. He just wanted to heal him and make fun of him as a baby. He only cried harder, and it hurt his throat, and his head. They hated him. They thought he was disgusting.

“Gerard, please, stop, it’s all okay,” he begged, and while the boy did hug his blanket, it was always a comfort to him, he still cried, because they knew. They knew he was weird, and a baby.

Again, he wailed, and shoved his nose and face into the soft blue fleece blanket.

“What is happening in here?” Louis shouted, running into the room. He had a bag in his hands but dropped it down, shocked at what he was seeing. “Harry, go, it’s fine. I’ve got him now.”

Harry left, quickly telling Louis what happened before walking to the living room, shutting the door behind him.

Louis climbed onto the bed, pulling the crying boy into his lap. He stroked his back soothingly, and shushed him, rocking a bit as well. “Shh, sweetheart, you don’t need to be embarrassed about anything. I told you I would take care of you, didn’t I?”

“N-no, you wan-na make fun of me-e!” He sobbed into Louis’ shirt, hiccupping. He clutched it with his fingers. “Cause I’m st-upid!”

“You’re not, you’re amazing.” Gerard shook his head in disagreement. “You are, it’s true. You’re brave, and kind, and sweet.” Gerard stopped crying for a second to listen, wanting to know what Louis thought of him. His body still shook but he kept his ears open. “You’re pretty, too, and I just want to see you smile, and laugh, ‘cause I know it’ll be as adorable as you.” Gently, Louis poked his tummy, and he did giggle. “See, I knew it.” He grinned. “Cute as a button, you are.”

Gerard sniffed, looking at Louis with wide eyes. Louis was so kind and pretty, and nice to him. Did the older really do this because he wanted to help Gerard, and take care of him?

Louis smiled softly, wiping at his face with his shirt sleeve carefully. He had crinkles in the corners of his eyes and seeing that up close was like seeing an angel in person. Magical, and beautiful.

There was a pressure building on his insides, one that he noticed barely when he got up but now, as he wiggled a bit, it was more noticeable. Louis grunted as he moved on top of him but Gerard had to pee, and no doubt that Louis could feel the diaper, which was dry, but his bladder wanted it different.

A bit of tightening in his belly had Gerard whining. “Louis?”

“Yes, love?”

“Um, I have to go…”

“Then go, it’s fine, you have your diaper on.”

He said that like it was easy to pee in one. “But I-I’ve never…”

“Do you want me to help you?” he asked, stroking a hand over his belly lightly. “I won’t hurt you.”

“Can I just take it off? I don’t need to wear them anymore, do I?” he asked in a quiet voice.

Louis gave a small sigh, and resituated them so Gerard was between his spread legs instead of on them. He fit between him perfectly, being a little smaller than him. He leaned back into his warm comfy chest, and Louis began to play with his hair, which was amazing. No one had ever touched him so sweetly, not in a long long time. It sort of made his headache go away.

“You want to wear them, don’t you?” Louis asked. When Gerard didn’t reply, he pressed his hand to his tummy. “I said I’d take care of you, I want to take care of you. If this is how you want me to, then I will, love. And I’ll do anything and everything I can to make sure no one, not your father, anyone, will take you away from me.”

Gerard was full of butterflies. His head felt light, and a little fuzzy like an old TV. He just wanted Louis to hold him longer. He wanted this, and maybe… just maybe he wanted to go in a nappy…

“Louis, can I—?”

“Go on, baby, it’s all right,” he cooed.

“Help?” he whispered.

Louis pressed just enough on his bladder, and then he let go. It was warm, and the heat of it didn’t hurt, it just was a weird sensation he wasn’t used to. His entire crotch was wet and then it was just a puffy wet diaper under his pants, seen through it more now than ever. He squirmed in discomfort, glancing behind and up at Louis. “Change, please?” he asked shyly, cheeks red.

“I’ll change you, honey,” he cooed again.

Gerard smiled timidly at him.

He liked that soft sound of Louis voice. He liked the way Louis talked to him, looked at him, and touched him with his caring hands. Something was changing inside his head, and he knew he was slipping down. The thought of Louis taking off his pants, and putting him in a new diaper, seeing him like that, it was all he wanted, but it was scary and new and he was unsure still. But he did want it.

Louis stroked his hair. It would not be easy for the scared boy to have Louis change the wet nappy, so he thought of something to help him through it. “Love, do you want your dummy? Harry cleaned it for you so it’s nice and pretty!”

“I—um, I don’t…” Gerard didn’t know. Everything was going around and around in his head. He honestly just couldn’t decide. He sniffled and cried a bit. “Don’t know.” He shook his head.

Louis hummed. “Don’t cry now, I’ll go get it and everything will be okay.” He left Gerard on the bed, setting him so he was laying back on the pillows. He told him not to mess with the diaper and went to grab the dummy.

It was setting on the table beside his bag. He quickly grabbed it and went back to Gerard, where he was laying on his side, eyes closed, blanket to his face. Louis grinned, and sat halfway on the edge of the bed. He gently shook his shoulder. “You can’t sleep in a wet nappy, hon, you’ll get a nasty rash. Get up now, c’mon.”

Gerard groaned. “’barassing, though…”

“Don’t be embarrassed, I’ll be very quick! I’ve had lots of experience with this. Now here, your binky will make you feel better, yeah? It’s so pretty!” He held out the pink pacifier for him.

Gerard sniffled. Louis did have younger siblings and was probably used to changing diapers. He sat up and held his blanket to his chest, wiping his eyes with the corner. He held out his hand for the dummy and took it fast, putting it in his mouth and suckling. He didn’t know what Louis wanted him to do now, so he asked with his eyes, as his mouth was a little busy.

“Lay back on the pillows, baby, I’ll be back in a sec.” He went into the bathroom to get a few things, coming back out with a towel, a little bottle of something, and a box of baby wipes. He set down the stuff on the bed. “Okay, let’s get your pants off first.” He helped Gerard take off the pants, tossing them away. There wasn’t any need for them anymore, now that Louis bought him better newer clothes.

Louis made him lift his butt and lower back up so he could put the towel down under his bottom. Then Louis un-snapped the sides of the diaper, and held his legs up by his ankles. Gerard wiggled and hissed. He pulled the dirty nappy out, setting it on the floor. Gerard felt even more exposed, and that was when he cried a little more. “You’re doing so well for me, G, really good job,” Louis praised, stroking his free hand up his belly. “It’s almost done. Such a good boy for me, yeah? You’re doing so so well!”

It made him feel happy that he did something Louis liked. His eyes were a little fuzzy for a second and he had the strange urge to giggle. “Thank you,” he whispered, and it sounded muffled by the dummy. His cheeks reddened, and he hid his face under his hands.

“You’re so sweet,” Louis cooed.

The marks on his bottom weren’t as bad as what he saw last night, but they were still there. Lines of red, and he could see scars from other things, too. Belt marks, whip marks. He gently touched his bum cheek, feeling the healed over scar tissue. Gerard made a wounded sound.

“Sorry, baby, I won’t touch anymore.” He patted his thigh in apology then reached for the wipes. “This will be a bit cold now, okay?” he warned. Then there was an icy cold feeling running all over his crotch, over his penis, wiping at the head and making him cringe. It slipped over his balls, over his bottom, cleaning, and into the little creases where butt met thigh. It smelled chemically. “So good for me, so proud of how brave you were through all that!”

Gerard felt himself floating on air. He made a happy gurgle through his dummy, and sunk his head down further into the soft pillow. He was light as a feather. He never felt so sated, and he was just sitting there naked with Louis from One Direction, and Louis had just wiped up his pee-coated bottom.

Then Louis began cleaning up after, tossing away the used diaper into the trash. Gerard was now able to set his legs down when Louis let him go, and he felt warm all over even being naked. He hummed around his pacifier and wiggled on the bed.

Louis chuckled at him. “Ger, I have some special cream that the doctor gave you. Do you want it on now or after your bath?” He held up the tube from before.

“Bath?” he asked, but it was more like ‘Baf?’.

“Yeah, a nice warm bath! You’ve been in bed all day and I’m positive you need one anyway.”

“Can G shower?”

Louis’ heart soared at that, hearing Gerard speak in third-person made him seem just like a little baby. He was too cute for words. “Well, I think you’ll like a bath more than a shower. Wanna know why?” Gerard nodded excitedly. “Because I’ve got bubbles!”

Chapter Text

  __++__

 

The bathroom was bigger than any other Gerard had seen, but he’d not seen any other than his own for a while. There was plush carpets of white placed all over, and a giant sink, and a big tub that had so many knobs and faucets on it he was confused looking at it. And the room was warm so he didn’t mind that he was naked, even with Louis watching him. “It’s so big,” he murmured.

Louis smiled at his awe. “Yeah, a bit large, isn’t it?” He started the tub for the naked boy because he knew he wouldn’t be able to figure it out by himself. Four big faucets started to run hot water. “I bought you new clothes, they’re in the bedroom for when you’re done washing up.”

Gerard smiled at him. “Thanks!” He started to climb into the tub even though it wasn’t full yet, but Louis stopped him with a hand on his waist. “Huh?” He glanced back at the older boy with confusion, wasn’t he supposed to get in the water?

“No, little boys aren’t supposed to wash themselves alone.”

Gerard flushed at his words. “But….” He frowned at the ground.

He didn’t mind being naked in front of Louis, he had seen his bum and bits when he changed his nappy, but he wasn’t sure he wanted Louis to help him with a bath. He hadn’t had a proper bath in a while and he sort of wanted to enjoy it alone, no matter how much he loved Louis and how much he was looking after him.

“Um…can G do it his self?” he begged with big green eyes.

Louis clicked his tongue. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, love. You seem a bit off…”

Gerard almost stomped his foot, almost. “Please! G—I—haven’t had a good bath in forever, and…” He pouted down at the floor. “And I wanna do it myself.”

Louis didn’t want to argue with the injured boy, but he really didn’t want to leave him alone. Gerard was his responsibility now, he had to keep him safe and clean and well-fed (he looked a little skinny) and just all around looked after.

“Maybe next time you can take a bath alone, but for now, with your injuries, I think it’d be best if I stay here, okay?”

Gerard huffed. He glared at Louis, crossing his arms. “You think G can’t take care of himself.”

Louis shook his head. “No, baby, that isn’t it at all. I just want to keep you safe. You’re a little too…” Little, was what he was going to say. “…hurt still.”

Gerard touched his neck bandage, wincing. And he had a bruise on his side, too, from where his father kicked him. Maybe it would be better if Louis did help him. “Okay…”

“Good.” Louis smiled. “Let’s get that bandage off you, we’ll put a new one on after the bath.” He undid the bandage around his neck carefully and slowly, wincing when he saw the marks were still pretty bad. There were marks from fingers, and let’s just say that his father was lucky Louis didn’t go after him. “Does it hurt, baby?”

Gerard shrugged. “Not really.” It was just a little sore.

“I’m glad. And hey, the bath is almost full, you know what that means?” he asked, adding a little excitement in his voice.

Gerard looked behind him, and yes, the bathtub was halfway full now. “What?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“Bubble time!”

Gerard grinned, and jumped in his spot. “Yay!” He hadn’t had a bubble bath since he was younger!

Louis grabbed the little travel sized bottle he had originally bought for Harry, because that boy loved bubble baths, too, and scented baths with the bath bombs and gels. It helped him relax after a show, and Louis liked to surprise him with them all the time.

Louis poured in the right amount under the running water, and Gerard watched the bubbles begin to appear. He clapped his hands, there were so many of them!

“Can you promise me not to get lost in the mountain of bubbles?” Louis teased.

Gerard hid a laugh behind his hand. “I promise!”

He smiled, and held out a hand to the waiting boy. “Let’s get you in the warm water now, you’ve got goosies.”

Gerard took Louis’ hand and stepped in the water, and slid down. He sighed, and lay back in the tub. Closed his eyes in relaxation because the water felt really nice and the bubbles had a scent like strawberries.

“Okay, I’m going to sit right over there,” Louis said, and Gerard opened his eyes to see him pointing at the toilet, “so this way you can enjoy the bubbles but I can still watch. You make sure to get everything nice and clean. From your pretty little ears, to these cute fingers, and your button nose,” he cooed, kissing all of them, and kissing his cheek last.

Gerard giggled. Louis’ kisses were light as a feather and so lovely. He didn’t know why Louis was kissing him but he wasn’t going to say no to it. “I’ll clean everything, I swear!”

“Good boy,” he said, and Gerard’s tummy tickled.

The tub was full now, and Louis stopped the water and left him to it, sitting on the toilet seat and watching. He’d left a wash cloth over the side of the tub and some soap for him. Gerard ignored all of that and started to splash around. Louis wanted to be a part of it, Gerard was adorable, but things between them had just started, and he didn’t want to move to fast (even though he did, really truly did).

Gerard was splashing around, having fun with the bubbles. He made a crown and looked over at Louis, who laughed with him. Then he made a beard like Louis’ but bigger, and looked to Louis again, the older smiling once again, more fondly. Gerard did wish he had some toys, though, like a ducky, but that was okay, this was enough.

It didn’t take long for Gerard to clean himself. He took the wash cloth and wiped all over with it after soaping it up.

“Don’t forget behind your ears, love,” Louis said.

Gerard nodded, and did that. But he couldn’t get his back. “Lou… can you help me?”

The feather haired lad walked over with a smile on his pretty lips and kneeled beside the tub where it wasn’t wet, taking the offered cloth from Gerard. He had the boy sit up straight and began washing over his back. Gerard sighed, it felt good. Louis squeezed the cloth, letting the soapy water run down his back. He washed down, scrubbing lightly over his lower back under the water, near his bum and back up.

“There we go, your back is all clean.”

“Thank you.”

“Welcome, doll. Are you done now?”

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, think so.”

“Did you wash your bits?”

Gerard whined, face turning red, and not from the heat in the room. “No,” he replied in a whisper.

Louis smiled softly, handing him back the cloth. “Go ahead, then we’ll go get you dressed, all right?”

Gerard nodded. He lightly washed over his penis and between his thighs, blushing from how Louis was that close as he cleaned up his private parts. He finished quick, setting the dirty cloth in the corner on top of the tub. Then he held out his hands for help to get out. He didn’t want to slip on the water he’d let dribble over the edge with his playing.

Louis cooed at him, and Gerard pouted when he just stared. He was getting cold, didn’t Louis get that? He made a little gesture and that got the older moving at last.

“Sorry, you’re so cute with your wet hair.” He helped him out, patting him dry carefully with a soft white towel, then he wrapped him up in a giant fluffier one. He pulled out a blow drier and carded his fingers in his wet locks, drying it all in a few minutes. Gerard had his eyes closed the whole time, feeling pampered and cared for. Louis combed his hair and kissed the top of his head, loving how pliant and happy he was, he felt full inside seeing Gerard like this. The boy deserved to feel this way always.

Leading them back into the bedroom, Louis put a new bandage on Gerard’s neck, the ointment being spread over the material first. It was a wrap around with a snap at the back, the doctor had given him several of them to change every day.

Then Louis asked Gerard to take off his towel and lie on the bed. Gerard hesitated partly, seeing the nappy and cream that his care-giver (Louis) held in his hands with some fear.

Louis saw his expression and had to reassure him. “Lovely, lay back, it’s okay. It won’t hurt if that’s what you’re worried about. I’d never hurt you or lie to you. It’s only some cream, it won’t do anything to you, it's just like the stuff I just put on your neck, yeah?” He touched Gerard’s shoulder, pushing him back on the soft bed. Still seeing the hesitation, Louis kissed his bare belly, making the boy giggle. “There we go, no more frowns.”

Gerard sucked in some air, and got comfy on the bed. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Louis chuckled and grabbed the cream. “Good. Here we go.” He lifted the boys’ legs, bending his knees to his chest and, squirting a decent dollop on his fingers, rubbed it over his hurt bottom. Louis heard him holding his breath. “No, sweetie, don’t do that, breathe for me. It’s not hurting you, is it?”

Gerard whined. He had his head tilted far back, eyes closed. No, it wasn’t hurting him, but it wasn’t fun. His bum was coated in the icy sticky stuff, and he didn’t like it at all. He said so, “G don’t like it.” He wiggled, and Louis tutted, holding his knees up from under them when he almost put them down. “Noo…”

“No, no, don’t do that,” he said in his soft angelic voice. “And don’t say no to me when I’m just trying to help you, little love. Behave, please, and be still. I know it’s strange but don’t you want it to be healed and all better, hmm?” He worked his fingers over his bum a few more times, soaking in the healing ointment, and smiled when G was breathing evenly again. He was staring down at him with wet eyes. “Hey now, don’t cry. You’re almost done, then you can see the new clothes I got for you, yeah? Got you some pretty things I think you’ll like.”

He sniffed. “Pretty stuff for G?” he murmured, putting his thumb into his mouth.

Louis almost melted. “Yeah, lots of pretty things for G.” He slid the nappy under him, taping it up. He hoisted him up onto his hip, the boy was so light. He really needed to feed him soon, too. “Okay, let’s see your new clothes,” he said happily, pressing fingers lightly to his tummy, Gerard laughing once around his thumb before looking excitedly at the bag on the floor.

Louis set the nappy-wearing boy on a sofa chair and gave him his dummy. “Okay, what do we have first!” Out of the bag he pulled out a pair of pants. Gerard reached for the polka dotted sweatpants in delight, so Louis handed them off, Gerard setting them in his lap and waiting for more.

Louis he lifted out the next item, a shirt. It was a panda on the front of the white cotton T, and he cooed and wanted that, too, fingers clenching to hold it so Louis let him.

“Well, I’m glad to see you like these, I picked out the best for my boy.” He grinned when G blushed, and rubbed his face into his new panda shirt. Louis lifted out the biggest one yet, a sweater with tiny hearts over it. Before he could reach out, Louis just dropped it in his lap and then pulled out a little pair of fuzzy pink polka dotted socks. Instead of putting them in his already full lap of clothes, he slipped them over his feet. They fit perfectly up his ankles, and G kicked his feet happily. Louis tickled the bottoms of his feet to make him squeal around his pink dummy, and Louis chuckled at him. “Silly little thing, you are.”

The last item was the best, and he wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. But from what he heard over the phone in messages, Gerard liked pretty things, and he deserved to look pretty always. So he dropped the bag and pulled out the hair bows. Three in all, a purple, a pink, and a yellow. Ger would look so good in each, he thought.

There was silence. He frowned when Gerard just started to cry looking at Louis and what he held, and Louis panicked. “Oh, Ger, I didn’t—I just wanted you to feel pretty,” he said solemnly, and sighed. Well, there went that out the window.

He started to put them back when Gerard made a noise, a frantic one at that, and stood up, dropping his new clothes to the sofa. He shyly toddled over, his nappy big around his thighs. He put his head down, and Louis smiled, understanding.

He played with his hair some before taking the flower ones and snapping them in two little pigtails on each side of his face. Gerard’s hair fell just barely to his shoulders and it was enough to work with. Silky black strands fell over his eyes, a few loose hairs on his cheeks. His shy eyes and blushing cheeks were bright with color. He was cute, and so pretty standing in his nappy and pigtails with bows and fuzzy socks. Louis hugged him and felt so good to have him to care for.

“So pretty, baby. Now let’s get you dressed all the way now, do you want to just wear your shirt or your sweater?”

G wanted to wear the panda shirt only so Louis grabbed it. “Lift your arms up,” he said, and slipped the shirt over his head, careful of his new hairdo. Louis then had him step into the pants, using his shoulders as a brace. He pulled them up and over his diaper, and Louis pat his bottom with a smile. “Comfy?” Gerard nodded. “Good. Don’t forget to tell me when you wet, I’ll check once in a while but I don’t want you to rash.”

Gerard hide his face in his hands, and Louis stroked his hair comfortingly. “Let’s go get some food in your tummy.” He led him out of the bedroom with a hand in his.

The only one in the living room was Harry, as usual, and he greeted Gerard and Louis with a smile. “You look very pretty in your new clothes, G,” Harry said kindly. “Did Lou fix your hair all nice for you?”

Gerard blushed, picking around his dummy, and nodded, pressing his face into Louis’ neck. He was still shy around Harry, having admired these boys for so long, and listened to their music when he was sad or lonely or hurt. He didn’t know what to say, honestly. Especially when he was wearing a nappy and sucking a dummy, feeling a bit younger each second.

Harry grinned, and he went back to doing what he was doing. Which was painting his nails black, and Gerard was very interested. He pulled away from Louis and sat by him, watching.

“G, stop staring, it isn’t nice. And Harry, why do you have to do that in my hotel room all the time, it stinks.”

“’Cause I know it annoys you,” was all the curly-haired boy said. He winked at Gerard, and they shared a silent laugh together.

Louis rolled his eyes. Louis pat Gerard’s head once, gently, telling him to be good for Harry before heading to the kitchen to make the hungry boy food. The hotel was so nice that they actually had a whole kitchen, not just a coffee machine or mini fridge, and he could make toast and eggs, and a cup of juice for him, too.

Harry had the TV on silent, and now that Gerard was out he turned it to some cartoons, just a kid’s education show he thought the boy would like, and really he liked it, too. But a few minutes later, he felt like he was being watched, and looked up to see that instead of watching that, he’s being stared at by the shy boy while he painted his nails.

Harry held in a fond smile. The little cutie was shy, and when he was caught staring avoided Harry’s gaze. “G, do you want to paint yours?” he asked.

Gerard gasped around his dummy and looked to Harry. He took out his pink dummy and set it on the table, and grabbed for the nail polish. Harry jerked it back and shook his head, confusing the boy.

“No, I probably should do it, Lou would get mad if you got it all over.”

“Well, it’ll have to wait,” said person announced, and he carried a plate of food into the room, setting it in front of Gerard, and a plastic cup next. “He’s got to eat first.”

Gerard huffed. He grabbed for the nail polish again, wanting his nails as pretty as Harry’s, and Louis carefully took his wrist in his hand, and gave him a stern look. The grip wasn’t harsh, but it did stop him. “G, listen to me. You need to eat, your stomach is growling. Don’t make me punish you, lovely.” He would put the boy in time-out if he refused to behave.

They hadn’t discussed it yet, but he knew they would soon. What they really were, and how it was going to work. He was excited for it but dreaded it at the same time, and Louis was sure that G was, too. Harry seemed a bit like he wanted to talk to him to, sending him worried looks. He knew that boy like the back of his hand after all.

“Sorry, Louis,” Gerard murmured, and went to eat the toast. It was yummy, had strawberry jam on it. “Thank you!” He nearly stuffed it in his mouth. He hadn’t realized he was so hungry until now.

Louis sat on his other side, and rubbed his back slowly. “Slow down, it isn’t going anywhere.”

When he was finished eating, watching the TV show while he did, Harry painted the boy’s nails, and Gerard was so happy he hugged him and got a kiss from the fellow green eyed boy on his cheek, and Louis cuddled him when he turned tomato red from it.

Harry requested that they put on music to fill the silence. Gerard agreed happily, and when he boy bashfully requested one of their songs, Harry pinched his side lovingly. “You like our music, love?” he teased, “what song?”

Looking to Louis with unsure eyes for help, he still didn’t know what to say to Harry, the boy was nice but he didn’t want to disappoint and put something weird on.

So Louis smiled, and said, “’Story of my life’ is fine, I think.”

Gerard warmed up after that. Harry and Louis sang their parts along with themselves in the video, and Gerard felt honored and elated to be so close and hear their wonderful voices.

Then they put on an oldie, their famous “what makes you beautiful” as request of Harry, and Harry danced with him, spinning him and getting him out of his shyness immediately, and Louis cheered them on, singing, or rather shouting, the lyrics.

“YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!” Harry sang loudly, holding Gerard around his waist carefully and spinning him, giving an encouraging smile and nod when the boy sang the next line, albeit quieter than he did.

Then Gerard fell on the sofa, rubbing his eyes, and suddenly he hurt again. His head and throat were throbbing and sore. His eyes watered, and he held out his arms for Louis to hold him. He did so quickly, and stroked up and down his back as he started to cry. “What is it, sweetheart, did you wet, is that why you’re crying, love? Harry doesn’t care, do you, Haz?” He reached under his pants and checked right between his nappy and skin.

That made him turn red, he didn’t have to say or do that. “No, hurts, Lou, throat an-and—and it just hurts!” he sobbed, rubbing his cheek against Louis’ shirt.

“Shh. Shh. Okay, I think you need some medicine. C’mon.” But Gerard was crying so hard and he had no strength, so Louis lifted him onto his hip and took him to the bedroom to lay him down for a nap. “Sorry, Haz. We’ll talk later, yeah?” he called back, cooing at Gerard.

Harry frowned at the crying boy. He was in pain, and Harry just wanted him to be okay. He had fun with Gerard, but still, he did need to talk to Louis, they both knew it.

“Yeah, later.”

Chapter Text

Setting the little one down for a nap was easy after Louis gave him his medicine and covered him with his blanket. He watched him sleep on for a few minutes, un-doing his pigtails, fixing his hair so it wouldn’t bother him as he slept peacefully. He liked Gerard so much, he was sweet and fit perfectly in his arms. He watched as Gerard slowly lifted his thumb to his mouth and Louis smiled. He replaced it with his pacifier and the boy made a scrunched up face, then sucked it with a happy hum, relaxing more into the sheets.

He couldn’t wait to wake him up, and just be with him. Gerard was that thing in his life Louis didn’t know he needed or wanted until he showed up. Maybe it was odd, the relationship he wanted, but Gerard wanted the same. Really, the reason why Louis had even thought of babying the 16 year old was because of said 16 year old. Once he and Harry had saved him, and looked into his bag to find that pacifier, he just knew what to do, like instinct.

But the thing was, Louis knew he couldn’t keep him away from the outside world for too long. The boys, Liam and Niall and Zayn, they would visit him soon. He was worried about that. Worried that they would shun him for wearing nappies, and being Louis’ baby boy. Gerard loved One Direction and all of them, he said so to him many times that he was a proper fanboy. If his idols didn’t like him, he would be devastated, and Louis wouldn’t know how to fix that. He prayed that they liked Gerard like Harry did.

And Harry. They didn’t ever discuss what they’d do once they had got Gerard to the hotel. They just did it, and that was that. Louis did not want to argue with Harry about Gerard, but if he had to in order to keep Gerard safe and with him then he would, even if Harry was his best friend. Louis wouldn’t send him back to his father, or send him away to a new home when he needed him. Gerard was his responsibility now.

He sighed, and headed back to the living room to speak with the youngest member of 1D.

Harry was on the sofa still, messing around with his phone. He saw Louis and smiled at him, albeit a small smile. “Hey, are we gonna talk now?” he asked, putting his phone on the couch arm.

Louis nodded, taking a seat by him. “Yeah. Probably should.”

It was quiet for half a minute, both waiting for the right moment to start. So Louis did. “You know he can’t go back there. I refuse to do that to him, I won’t.”

Harry frowned at him. “I wasn’t going to say that we should send him back, Lou, his father is abusive, and I’m not going to do that to him. But we can’t just…kidnap him.”

“Gerard is 16, almost 17, and soon he’ll be old enough to decide on his own if he wants to leave his father.” And he will, Louis thought. “We’re not kidnaping him,” he defended.

Harry put his hand on Louis’ leg, speaking slowly and softly, reassuring Louis that this wasn’t to be an argument. “I see he’s important to you and he really does like you a lot, but you have to be reasonable. If anyone finds out it could risk you and us, the entire band, getting in serious trouble for kidnapping a minor.”

Louis shook his head. “I don’t want to risk any of us going to jail. But, Haz, all I think about is him. Maybe I’m selfish,” he said with a shrug, “but I can’t help it. I feel a connection with him, I only want him to be safe and happy and…” He just saw Gerard, the small boy with green eyes and a shy smile, laying on the bed as Louis changed him into a diaper, and all he wanted to do was tell him he was the sweetest boy in the world, because he was sweet as candy. "I like him a lot."

There was something that flashed over Harry’s face for a second, furrowed brows, (and a pout? Louis wasn’t sure, it was gone too soon) and then he just smiled that smile that got Louis through so much when they were younger, and rubbed his hand over his leg, comforting him in his Harry way. “You mean only good, I know. I’m just worried his father might look for him and we can’t hide him away forever, not with our lives, you know that, don’t you?”

Of course he knew that. “Harry, his father despises him. G wouldn’t care if we kept him a secret.” He paused, and spoke softer, less defensive and more towards a determined and begging tone. “I care about him. Taking care of him will make me and him happier. Please Harry, don’t say anything about him to anyone.” He didn’t want Harry to call the cops, or take Gerard away.

Harry looked as if he was slapped in the face. “I don’t want to do that, Louis,” he said, shocked Louis would ever think he’d betray him in any way. “I won’t tell anyone about Gerard that would take him from you. You’re my best friend, I won’t hurt you like that.”

Louis looked Harry in the eye, saw the sincerity and love there, and at the hand on his leg. Harry was so sweet, why he’d ever think Harry would take G from him was stupid now that he looked into those kind green eyes. He just got so protective sometimes it took over everything.

Louis sighed, and gave a half smile of apology to his best friend. “Sorry, I’m sorry, H. I know you won’t. And I don’t want to hide him away, but the paps and management… We’ll have to keep him out of the spotlight, it’ll be hard.”

Harry patted his leg, grinning. “It’s okay, I know how you get. Yeah, we should come up with a lie for management. Maybe he can be part of your family, coming along on tour?”

“That’s a great idea, Haz,” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s hand in thanks. The younger blushed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Welcome. I know how much Gerard loves the affection you give him, he obviously didn’t get much at home. I just hope you’re ready for all the hard work you’re gonna have to do.” Harry shoulder bumped him, chuckling.

Louis laughed. “Yeah, he does, he’s adorable. And I can’t wait for the hard work of it all, it’s barely been a couple days and I want this so badly.” He loved taking care of his sisters, he knew he’d love taking care of Gerard the same way.

“I see you’re excited about the diaper changes, huh?”

Louis pinched his leg, Harry squealing. “Shut up. I love those, he looks at me like it was everything he ever wanted.” And he knew it was, even if Gerard got a bit shy during.

Harry hummed. “Yeah, you’ll be great at it.”

“Thanks, Hazza.”

Harry yawned. Louis frowned. “Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep, it’s hitting me all of a sudden.”

Now that Harry mentioned it, he did look tired, he had bags under his eyes and a tired smile on his face. “Do you want me to walk you to your room so you can sleep?”

Harry waved him away. “No, it’s fine, I’ll be okay. It’s right across anyway and you should stay here with G.” He stood up. “I should get going anyway.”

Louis stood up with him. “You sure?”

“I’m sure.” He hugged Louis, his long arms wrapped tightly around Louis’ waist. He was warm, and as usual Harry hugs were the best kind of hug. “I love you, Lou.”

Louis hugged him back just as tight. Without Harry in his life, he didn’t know where he would be. “Love you just as much, H.”

Harry grabbed his coat that hung of the back of the sofa. Before he got to the door, he sounded out a soft, “oh” and turned back around, pulling something from behind the couch that somehow Louis missed. “I got this for Gerard.” He handed it to Louis, and the older looked at it and at Harry with confusion. Harry blushed. “Because he doesn’t have anything to play with, I thought… I just thought if I were him, I'd like a toy...”

Harry was such a sweetheart, Louis was lucky to have him as a friend. “Thank you so much. I’m sure G will love it.”

“I hope he does,” Harry mumbled.

“He will. Now go rest. Maybe you can stop by for dinner later? I was going to order in some pizza.”

Harry smiled. “Yeah, sounds nice.”

After he left, Louis went to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, just watching Gerard sleep peacefully, suckling on his dummy. He couldn't wait to give him the toy Harry had gotten him.

Chapter Text

 

_+_

 

The next three days go by fast for little G. He fell into a headspace that felt perfect, and he didn’t even have to come out of it and struggle to do that because Louis said he could be as little as he wanted for however long he wanted.

He had tons of fun with Harry. Harry was good at games, especially hide and seek. He’d gotten Gerard a new toy, a kitty stuffie that he named Blu, and he cuddled Blu all the time. He loved Harry almost as much as he loved Louis.

Louis was glad that Gerard enjoyed being there with them. He was glad he liked the routine of sorts he had gotten into the past few days. He thought that it would be good for him to have a nice routine, it would make things easier and better.

In the morning Gerard would get up with Blu, cuddled in the soft bed with his blue blanket and his pacifier. Louis would sometimes have to coax him up with belly rubs because he was so comfy, but he wasn’t complaining about that, any touch from Louis, his savior, he loved. Then he’d get changed, his bandage, which had healed really good and didn’t hurt as much, and his nappy. He still got embarrassed about that, but Louis made sure to give him kisses, and make really silly faces at him. The first time he messed it was a cry fest, it took a lot of hugs to make him stop crying and for Louis to tell him he didn't mind doing that for him, and that little boys didn't use the toilet so it was okay to use the nappy.

Breakfast was always yummy even if it was just plain pancakes or room service. Louis wasn’t the best cook but he did okay. He was good at sandwiches though, Gerard loved his peanut butter and banana sandwiches. And his cheese toast and french toast were yummy, too.

The best part of the day was toy/TV time. Louis bought him toys. He loved his toys. Race cars, legos, and a lot of other neat little things. When he got to play with Louis or Harry with them the joy he felt was like he was flying high in the sky. He could either play or watch TV most days, though, not both, so usually he played, but he liked Disney movies and he got to watch Tangled for the first time and he loved it so so much. He even got a sippy cup set with princesses on it, and Rapunzel was on one!

Then it was nap time, and then lunch time and medicine time. If Harry wasn’t there before, he usually was by then to play again after he ate.

Harry was the best to play with. He was very imaginative and it made games more fun. When they played fairytale land Harry was really good at acting like the evil wizard, his laugh was so scary G almost forgot it was Harry.

Louis was proud of him and that he got used to Harry, and his shyness was mostly gone, but there were times when he would just stare at him and remember he was famous or one of them would talk about band things and he would turn red because he was sitting in Louis’ lap, Louis from One Direction, who had become his everything. Harry or Louis, or even both, would notice and kiss his cheeks and he would whine but really he liked the attention. Sometimes, he made them play their music and dance for him. He would sing, too, and it was the best time Gerard ever had.

Every night, he’d take a bubble bath after resting from dinner. It was hard the first time to let Louis wash him instead of just sit there and watch, but Louis said that little boys needed help sometimes, and bath time was one of those times, so G let him help. It was a lot more fun with Louis anyways. He put bubbles on his face and head and pretended to be an old man and G almost peed in the tub when he did that, and he tickled his armpits and tummy, making him splash around. He gave him back rubs with warm soapy hands, and G didn’t even mind that he washed his privates with a cloth, because he just loved that Louis took care of him.

Cool down time, as Louis called it, was next in the routine. If Harry was still over, the curly-haired boy would kiss Gerard and hug him, Gerard would turn red and they’d tell each other goodnight. He was given his medicine in a bottle with milk so if he was in pain in his sleep it wouldn’t hurt (that happened once, and Louis woke up to him sobbing on the bed about how his side hurt from where he was kicked, and it broke him up inside). Then he was put into his nappies and PJ’s, which were the coolest PJ’s ever. They were Despicable Me and super comfy.

One time, before G’s nap, he got sang to sleep by Louis. It was the greatest sound ever. So now he requested it at every bedtime and Louis was more than happy to do it for him. He would sing a sweet lullaby, or their music, Little Things or Strong were the best to sing, and G was fast asleep quick in his rocking arms.

G absolutely loved his routine. He really did, a lot. And before, when they’d talked seriously about rules, limits, and the like, Gerard was glad he had Louis, and that Louis was glad to take care of him and give him all of that.

But. Even though he had lots of fun, and he liked the rules and that Louis kept him safe and loved him, he was trapped. Trapped in the hotel room always. He’d never seen outside, except through the windows, and they were high up so he stopped because it was scary. He wanted more than just to play with Harry and Louis. He wanted more than this room, even if it was big, and the TV was huge and the bathtub was awesome and so was the bed. But the point being, Gerard wanted more.

_+_

It was lunchtime. Gerard had ordered a cheese quesadilla and Louis ordered him some fruit with peanut butter with it. He was just finishing eating his quesadilla, Louis nibbling on his own room service lunch occasionally, when Louis started to speak. “Love, I was thinking… You’ve been getting lonely so maybe, if you want, the other lads can come visit?”

Gerard dropped the tortilla with a smack on his plate and started to cry. He did not expect to be asked that at all.

“Oh, G, why’re you crying, baby?” Louis got up from his chair and picked him up, setting him against his hip. He kissed his crying eyes and asked again. “What’s wrong? I thought you were getting lonely so maybe a visit from—”

“Yes, please, visit G,” Gerard interrupted through his sniffles.

Louis smiled. He pet Gerard’s hair back. “The boys have wanted to see you since Harry mentioned you to them. They’re pretty jealous.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

Louis grinned. “Yup. They want to meet my cute little boy really really badly.” He kissed his cheek with a big smack of his lips, and Gerard giggled.

“I wana meet them, too!” he said excitedly. “Please, Louis, please? When? Now?”

Louis chuckled. He set the boy back in his chair and wiped at his face with a paper towel gently to get away his tears and snot since he was feeling better. “I’ll invite Liam over tomorrow after breakfast, sound good to you, my love? And I’ll see if I can get the other boys over, too.” He knew Liam would come over for sure but he wasn’t definite on the other two, they had some things happening the next few days.

Gerard squealed. “Yes, yes, yes!” He bounced in his seat. “Thank you!”

“Welcome, Ger. Now finish your food. Harry’s going to come play with you and that won’t be happening unless you finish up.”

He shoved the plate of fruit closer to him. Gerard shoved the apple slices into his mouth. They were dipped in peanut butter and he had some trouble chewing them but they were very yummy. He chomped and chomped and got peanut butter all around his mouth, juice from the apple dripping all down his chin. He just grabbed his sippy cup of milk, he had the one with Rapunzel today, and slurped it. That just got his cup and hands sticky. He didn’t notice or care.

Louis sighed fondly. “You don’t have to rush.” He took a cloth he had on hand and ready and wiped his fingers one by one, then his face.

“Sorry, just ‘cited.” He smiled small.

“I know. Eat slower or you’ll have a tummy ache though.” He ruffled his hair.

“Okie!”

Harry got there half hour later when Gerard was already playing with his race cars, zooming them on the carpet while Blue’s Clue’s played on the TV. “G!” he shouted when the boy didn’t notice his entry, and the boy gasped and dropped his toys. He ran up to tackle Harry in a hug. “Hey, love, how’re you today?”

Gerard looked up at him with bright eyes. “Really good! Louis said I can see Liam and Niall and Zayn tomorrow!”

“Did he now?”

Louis shrugged from where he sat on the sofa messing on his phone, texting the boys to come over and meet his little boy. “He’s been cooped up in here, I thought that it’d be good for him and the boys seeing as he will be coming with us when we travel around.” He was Louis’ charge now. He would be at his side always.

Harry smiled wide. He looked at G. “I’m sure Liam will be happy to finally give you that present, he’s been dying to see you.” Harry covered his mouth, eyes wide. “Whoops!” He didn’t mean for that to slip.

Louis sighed. “Harry.”

Gerard gaped. “Present? What is it?”

Harry took his hand and led him to the carpet. They sat down, and Harry took a car to run it over Gerard’s leg. “I can’t tell you. Liam would kill me.”

Gerard pouted. “Please?”

“Don’t give me those eyes. Lou, tell him not to give me those eyes.” He glanced back at his fellow bandmate.

Louis smiled at him like Harry was the child. “Harry, those are the same eyes you give me when you want something. Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned it to him.” He shrugged.

“Well this is different. Liam won’t ever forgive me and I hate it when he hates me. Pleeassee?” He fluttered his eyelashes.

Louis rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “See, now you’re giving me the eyes! Ugh! Gerard, you can wait until tomorrow to find out.” He stood up and walked to the kitchen. “I can’t stand this, two green-eyed puppy dogs begging, my poor young heart can’t take it.”

Harry and Gerard laughed at his fleeting figure.

_+_

The next day after breakfast, Gerard was like a jumping bean. He wanted Liam over right then. “Lou, when is Liam gonna be here?” He ran to the door and peaked out the hole, then ran back. He did that twice he was so anxious to meet Liam.

“He’s on his way up now, love, calm down.” Louis took his hand before he could run again, and squeezed it. “I’m glad you excited but please don’t run anymore, it’s not safe.”

“Will Liam like me?” he asked, eyes round and big.

“Of course. He likes everyone, and anyways, who wouldn’t like you? You’re precious.” He playfully pinched his nose. Gerard wiggled it. “Don’t worry. All the lads will absolutely love you, Ger. Just remember to have fun with the boys today, okay?”

He nodded, smiling wide. “Okay. I’ll have lots and lots of fun today!”

“Promise me?” he held out a pinky, and made a serious face.

Gerard put his pinky in Louis’ and shook it. “Promise!”

There was a knock at the door, and suddenly all of Gerard’s excitement turned to fear, stomach dropping. He let go of Louis’ pinky and hid behind him, griping his shirt.

Louis grinned. He walked to the door slowly, Gerard following his steps carefully. His little boy was so cute. One second he couldn’t wait to see Liam and now he was all shy about it.

Liam smiled at him when Louis opened the door. He had his hands behind his back, his present no doubt. Then he noticed the body right behind Louis and his smile grew.

“Sorry, Li, he was really excited a minute ago. Now I think he’s nervous to meet you.” He glanced back, and Gerard had his face pressed to Louis back. Louis reached around and rubbed the shy lads arm. “G, come say hello, baby.”

Gerard peeked around. Liam Payne was so gorgeous in person. He seemed nice, and watched Gerard carefully and with a smile so patient, so he came from hiding, keeping his hand on Louis shirt in case.

“Hi, Gerard. I’m Liam.” He waved at the little.

Louis gave Liam a look. “He knows who you are. He loves One Direction, remember?”

Liam gave Louis a halfhearted glare. “I’m just being nice, Lou.” He smiled at Gerard again. “I got you a present.”

Gerard bit his lips and sucked his bottom one, nervous. So far all the people in 1D had gave him things. He didn’t want to be mean and demand, but he held out his hands and smiled bashfully. “C’n I have it, please?”

The two boys laughed, and Louis kissed Gerard’s head, making him blush. “Why don’t we invite him in first, okay? Then you can open your present.”

They got settled on the sofa. Gerard took a spot on Louis’ lap, his comfort zone. He asked for his dummy, and Louis stuck it in his waiting mouth. Liam handed him a blue bag with blue paper sticking out of it. It was pretty big, but when Gerard had the bag in his hands it was very light.

He shook it, and hummed, wondering what it could be. Then he looked up and over his shoulder at Louis, and Louis said he could open it.

Gerard tore into the bag with fervor and threw all the blue tissue paper out of his way. “Woah, woah, calm down,” Louis chuckled. He picked up the stray pieces of paper, along with Liam, and set them on the table.

He sucked on his dummy with concentration on his face, ignoring Louis, and pulled out from the bag…a book and…crayons? He held them in each hand and stared, stunned. He got a coloring book. On the front were princesses and castles, and he had a little 12 pack of crayons.

He looked up at Liam and his lip wobbled. He got a coloring book. From Liam Payne.

“Baby, are you all right?” Louis asked. His hands rubbed up and down his arms.

Liam’s face went from being delighted at seeing the boy shred his gift wrapping to disappointment at seeing the sad face as he held his present that Liam thought was sort of nice. He gave a little shrug, and tried not to seem too hurt about it. “I just… I heard you liked pretty things and I thought… I thought you’d like to make your own pretty princesses and…” He was actually really upset inside. He wanted Gerard to like him.

Then he was knocked backwards on the couch, and in his lap was the little, crushing him with his hug around Liam’s waist. “I love it. Thank you!”

Liam held his arms out in shock and stared at Louis, then back at Gerard, who had this look up at Liam through those pretty green wet eyes that made his chest ache. “Oh. Well. Um, you’re very welcome, Gerard.” He patted his back and smiled.

Louis grinned at them, and snapped a picture with his phone. He did the same thing when Harry got G the stuffed kitten Blu. Because the boy had done the same thing, and Harry had fallen on his ass. And Louis couldn’t not take that picture.

“And, um, there’s stickers in there, too,” Liam mentioned. Gerard’s smile grew even more.

So for the next little while, Liam and Gerard and Louis colored at the living room table. Louis got his face covered in stickers, and Liam had two on his forehead. Gerard had one big crown sticker on his forehead, and he declared he was the ruler. “I am King Gerard!” he said in what he thought was a king-ly voice. He stood up and pointed at the other two. “Bow to me!” They both did with grins, Louis in a more theatrical way, of course. Gerard felt powerful making One Direction kneel like that. He hid his giggle behind his hand.

Louis’ phone went off. He grabbed it out and saw Zayn had texted. ‘Hey on my way over now’. And since he was at the hotel, it would be just a few minutes.

Louis told Gerard and Liam this. Gerard froze, and he sat hard on his diapered bottom. He made a face like it hurt. “Wan’ Blu,” he asked quietly to Louis.

Louis kissed his head, and grabbed the stuffed kitty for him. Gerard cuddled it to his face when Louis handed him over, rubbing it all over his nose and cheeks for comfort. “I’ll make you a juice, okay?” Gerard nodded and kept snuggling his kitten.

Liam followed Louis to the kitchen. “Hey, do you think this is too much at once for him?”

Louis sighed as he filled the sippy cup with strawberry banana juice, Gerard’s favorite. Seeing how quickly he changed his demeanor from playing to being so quiet, it was clear that Gerard was distraught at just the idea of meeting Zayn after Liam. It might be a good idea to not shove it all down his throat at once. “Maybe it is. I think Niall should visit tomorrow so it isn’t too overwhelming since Zayn is already on his way.”

“Yeah, probably good to save the loudest for last.”

Louis frowned at Liam, and then started laughing. “I think we should take these stickers off our faces before Z gets here. He’ll laugh his ass off if he sees us.”

Letting his own laugh out, Liam agreed.

Back in the living room, Louis handed his baby boy his juice. He took a few gulps quick. Then Louis crouched down to his level and messed with his stray hairs over his cheeks lovingly. “Hey baby, I think that Niall is going to visit you tomorrow, okay?” he spoke softly.

“No!” He cried out. His eyes watered. He wanted to meet Niall, too. That wasn’t fair of Louis at all.

Louis was surprised at that answer. “Are you sure, hon? It’s not too many people at once for you?”

Gerard shook his head back and forth. “Nu-uh, want to meet all my Lou’s friends now.”

“You aren’t scared?”

“No.” He frowned, thinking. “Nervous.”

“Oh, I think I understand now. You think he won’t like you,” Louis said, coming to a conclusion

Gerard nodded, blushing when he noticed Liam watching with a small smile. “Yeah…”

“Zayn will absolutely love you, Gerard,” Liam said. He came to stand by them. “Zayn might look a bit rough but he’s the softest of us all, after Harry. I know that he’ll be shy at first. After that, though, you’ll have a new good friend, just like me.”

Louis gave Liam a grateful smile.

From the door came the second knock of the day. Louis went to get it.

Gerard hid behind Liam from the floor. He clutched his leg, and peeked around it. Liam smiled at him, and Gerard was thankful that Liam was so nice and had this aura around him that made Gerard comfortable. He was like Harry, just without all the kisses and hugs.

From around the couch came the next member of 1D. Zayn Malik in person was like Liam Payne in person. Just plain beautiful. And so far, all of One Direction in person. His cheekbones… his eyes, and his shy smile. Liam was right. He was hesitant coming over to Gerard and Liam. But Louis gave him a shove and there he stood above, staring at Liam’s pant leg.

Gerard’s jaw dropped. Zayn Malik was right there.

“Hey Zee,” Liam greeted.

“’sup, Liam. Who’s that hiding behind your leg, there?” his head titled, and he gave a crooked smile.

“What, I don’t see anyone,” Liam said, appearing shocked.

Gerard giggled behind his hand. Liam was silly.

“Hey, where did my baby go?” Louis asked. He gave a quick survey of the room. “Liam, you look after him for five seconds, and you lose my baby boy! How could you?” He gave a fake cry.

“I’m here, Louis!” Gerard exclaimed, and he came around from behind Liam’s big body and smiled on his knees. “Here!” He waved.

Louis ran at him like he hadn’t seen him in days and picked him up, spinning him. “Oh, G! I’m so glad I found you!” He pressed kisses to his cheeks and neck and face and Gerard was laughing so hard he let out a little spray of pee into his nappy. He stopped laughing then, and held on to Louis around his neck, softly giggling.

Louis stopped and let his baby catch his breath, Gerard’s cheek rosy, then went to Zayn who was smiling at them both to introduce. “Gerard, this is Zayn.”

Gerard blushed. Up close, he was so pretty. He couldn’t help himself. He poked his finger into Zayn’s cheek. Zayn beamed at him so Gerard assumed it was okay, so he poked some more. Zayn laughed.

“I know, those cheekbones, though,” Louis teased. “G, say hello,” Louis said, adjusting the boy on his hip.

“Hello,” Gerard murmured.

He held out his hand from around Louis’ neck, and when Zayn gripped his and shook it Gerard smiled at him with this childish smile that made his face look innocent as hell, and Zayn swore that there was nothing cuter. And he was 16, right? “Fuck, he’s so cute,” Zayn whispered.

“Zayn, language,” Liam and Louis said.

All of a sudden, Gerard’s tummy growled. “Lou, I want some food.”

Louis and the other two laughed. “Okay. Why don’t I order some room service for us all? Have you guys eaten lunch yet?” he asked. They shook their heads. “Okay. Here, Z, take the little one for a second.” And he threw (gently) Gerard into his arms to go call from the phone in the corner desk of the room.

Zayn ‘oof’ed but kept his grip on the tiny thing, holding him bridal style. G was light as a feather, but he was obviously a bit nervous being held by Zayn, as he kept wriggling and pushing at his chest to get down. And Zayn didn’t want to drop him on accident so he gave Liam a begging look.

Liam took Gerard. Gerard awed as he was passed from one handsome man to the other, looking back at Zayn. When he went in Liam’s arms, Liam patted his bottom to get a better grip and frowned, feeling the boys’ pants were puffy and warm. Maybe that was why he was squirming in Zayn’s arms. He wet his diaper. “Hey, Lou,” he called over.

“Yeah?”

“I think G had an accident.”

Gerard moaned in embarrassment. Liam shushed the shy thing, and impulsively bounced him a little. “It’s okay, love, nothing to be shy about.” After all, they all knew what they were getting into with this. They knew about the diapers and everything. Though they all agreed the only ones changing G would be Louis and Louis alone.

“Yeah, babe, a wet nappy isn’t a big deal,” Zayn said, tickling over his ear. Gerard let a little giggle out and then he groaned again, wiggling in Liam’s arms more. He wanted his Louis.

Louis came over to see his baby blushing in Liam’s neck. Zayn was cooing at the boy, and telling him he was okay. He smiled. He was happy that they liked G, and that G seemed to be better at the attention from both. He was getting used to people and Louis was glad for that because soon there would be a lot of people around him.

“Okay, sweetheart, let’s get you changed, and then we’ll eat.” He took G into his arms and kissed his cheek. “I got you chicken nuggets and fries, and a strawberry shake! Yummy!”

Gerard agreed with that. It sounded like McDonalds and he always wanted to try it. “Thank you, Lou!” he said, and hugged him around his neck.

“Anything for my baby boy.”

_+_

They all ate their meal happily, though Gerard got pink shake all over his lips and somehow in his hair, and Louis faintly reminded himself to get a bib for the boy. He seemed to make messes a lot. Or maybe he would feed him instead.

“Louis, c’n I show them my toys?” Gerard asked when they finished their lunch.

Louis nodded. “Of course. I’ll clean up here, go show the boys your things and I’ll be right out.”

Gerard stood from the table and took each of their hands, Liam and Zayn grinning at each other as they were pulled along. “C’mon!” he said excitedly. He hadn’t shown anyone since Harry.

He went on and on, showing his new things and toys to them both. He didn’t have a lot but he had enough to keep him happy and busy. He even let Zayn hold Blu, his favorite. But only for a minute because Blu was his kitty. Then he got out his legos that Louis left in a little cardboard box by the sofa. “Wana build a castle?”

Louis came from cleaning up the lunch mess to see Liam and Zayn building with his baby, and he saw his laughing eyes and almost cried. His Gerard was happy and he wanted nothing more than that.

_+_

Niall was busy so he couldn’t come over until later. But Gerard didn’t seem to mind, he was having fun with the others. He did miss Harry but Louis said that Harry was busy, too, and Gerard just went on racing cars with Liam and Zayn and Louis between the little buildings they made.

Zayn made a spaceship. He flew it to Gerard, around his face, and pretended to land it on his head. Gerard laughed and asked if he could have the toy. “Yeah, babes, it’s all yours.” Gerard took it from his head, and proceeded to do the same thing Zayn did to him to Louis’ head. Louis made sounds like a spaceship would make and Gerard loved it.

He showed Zayn his coloring book that Liam got for him. “See! It’s got a princess and castles and crowns and pretty stuffs! Oh, and stickers! Want one?” He started to pull one out for Zayn anyway, and gave him a big pink flower. Zayn couldn’t let his smile fall so he stuck it right on his nose and gave a funny cross-eyed smile to the little.

Gerard laughed so hard he fell backwards and hit his head on the floor with a loud thump. His eyes watered and his chest heaved, and he was sobbing like nothing else hurt more, because his head was throbbing.

Louis was there instantly to hold him. “Shush, honey, you’re all right.” He kissed him and wiped his crying eyes. He pet his head where he fell and Gerard winced, and cried out louder.

Zayn and Liam watched him, worried. Louis gave them a look that said not to.

Louis reached into his pocket and got his other dummy. He put it in Gerard’s crying mouth and the boy sucked on it fiercely and his eyes went from crying to focus on his new paci. He still shook a bit in his stomach like the cries were still coming up, but it was better than the horrible sobs.

Louis smiled, crinkles in his eyes. He rocked him side to side and gave his forehead a kiss. “That’s my good boy. See, it wasn’t too bad, was it? Just a little bump, nothing too serious. I think we should watch some TV now, yeah, lads? Have some quiet time for a bit.” He glanced at Liam and Zayn.

“Sounds fine to me, Lou,” Liam said. He was just glad that Gerard stopped his crying, it was awful to watch.

Zayn nodded. “Yeah, I could go for watching some.”

So Gerard took his regular spot and he and Louis were in the center of the couch with Liam and Zayn on either side. Louis put on the TV, just some, random animated movie. Gerard was immediately falling asleep on Louis.

“Sorry boys. He usually has a nap by now.”

Louis was petting his hair and gently rocking his body back and forth, lulling Gerard. He shut his eyes from the bright TV. He barely heard what they were saying to one another. He was drifting and his head was slumping on Louis. He was warm in Louis’ lap, and his binky and Blu gave him security. He was asleep in seconds.

_+_

When he woke up he felt his diaper was cold and he had drool all over his mouth. He whined, hugging his kitten to his neck, wanting Louis and his pacifier and out of his nappy. He was on the couch covered with his blanket. He looked for Louis but only heard him talking behind him. He whined louder, purposefully.

“I’m coming, sweetheart.” Louis was leaning over the back of couch, smiling at him. His baby boy looked all soft and heavy-eyed. “Hey, sleepyhead. Have a nice nap?” He wiped over G’s mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, and fixed his hair a bit from his eyes.

“Wet. Change?” He rubbed his eyes with his fist.

“Course, angel.”

Louis took him to the bedroom, leaving behind his kitty and blanket. He set him on the bed with a soft towel under his bottom and thighs. Stripping him down to his nappy, he threw away his slept-in clothes. Then he got his nappy off and with a few wipes he was clean. There weren’t many bruises left on his bottom, but it was still fading and healing. Louis would give him the bruise cream, and then his meds with his bottle. He would crush the pills and mix it in his milk.

Gerard was good, he barely moved or made a sound while Louis rubbed in the sticky cream over his bottom. Usually Gerard fussed about the cold cream but he was still tired.

He slipped on a new nappy and taped it at the sides “Such a good boy for me,” Louis cooed. He rubbed circles in his belly. He was reaching for some sweatpants in his hotel dresser to go over his diaper when Gerard whined. He raised his brows. “What is it, you don’t want these ones?” He held them up.

“Want footies,” Gerard mumbled. He didn’t want to wear sweatpants. He wanted to be cozy and comfy when he played and be pretty, show everyone how nice and cute he was in his outfit Louis bought him.

“Which ones?”

He had three pair now of footed onesies to keep him warm. But he wanted the blue footed onesie with the polka dots and it had a pink fairy on it. “Fairy.”

Louis noticed how Gerard seemed to be limiting his speaking, so he was still tired or possibly feeling a bit younger. He didn’t mind. It was cute to see. He had this glazed look over his eyes, and he probably didn’t notice but he had slipped his finger into his mouth just then. Louis would get him his dummy once he finished getting him dressed and gave him his bottle.

Carefully slipping one foot in at a time, and he gave a little tickle to the bottom of his heel. Gerard giggled. Louis grinned. He zipped up the fabric after tucking in each of his arms, and then he had a soft little tired boy on his bed.

“Bows please?” Gerard asked around his finger.

“Of course, my sweet boy. You’re just so cute right now I would do anything you asked.” Louis kissed his nose and Gerard gave the softest little laugh. He went to his bag and pulled out one of the pairs of hair bows. He put his hair into neat little pigtails, his hair cascading just at his shoulders. He tied the yellow bows on either pigtail and then he had a pretty little one gathered into his arms. “Let’s go see the boys.”

“They’re still here?” He was napping for at least an hour and they stayed?

“Yup, they wanted to play their new friend some more.”

Gerard smiled. He had friends.

Liam and Zayn greeted G with a smile and a little wave as they came from the bedroom. Gerard waved back.

“Sleep well?” Liam asked. The boy looked adorable in his outfit. Louis really knew how to pick the cutest things, didn’t he?

Gerard nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good dreams, then? You look a bit tired.”

Gerard’s yawned, and Zayn laughed. “Oh, yeah, he’s still tired. You look so pretty in your polka dots!”

Louis laughed as Gerard hid his face in his neck, he could feel the boys warmth from his blushing. “Do you want your bottle now, angel?” He rubbed his back.

“Yeah,” he sighed. Gerard looked up at Louis. “Medicine?”

“Feeling sore?”

Gerard nodded. His bum hurt a bit, and his neck was achy. “Yeah.”

Louis kissed his cheek. “Poor baby. I’ll get you a nice sweet bottle of milk and your medicine, okay?”

He left Gerard at the kitchen bar with Liam and Zayn while he made his bottle. Gerard was handed his coloring book and he smiled thankfully at Liam.

When the bottle was almost done, Gerard had just finished coloring a unicorn and a flower colored with rainbows. He put a crown sticker above of the unicorn’s horn and smiled. “Look, Lou!” He held up the book to him.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous, love! Show Liam and Zayn!”

He kept his eyes down at the table but passed it down for the two boys to see. They gushed over it. Zayn said, “You’ve got a proper artist here, Louis.”

“I know, he’s the best, isn’t he?” He playfully tugged at Gerard’s hair, and tapped under his chin for him to look up.

He finished warming the bottle and Louis situated Gerard on his lap on the chair, and brought the bottle to his lips. Gerard opened his mouth just so but then he looked over at the other two watching and his cheeks turned red. Louis stuck it in without a word and Gerard started to suckle it down. There was a sweet taste to it and he quickly finished it.

Louis set him by the sofa on his bottom to play with his toys. “Niall’s gonna be over soon, G. Play with your toys for a bit, okay?” He kissed the top of his head and gave him his dummy and Blu, and left him to play while he went to talk with the boys about a few things. Gerard was no doubt exhausted and a bit groggy from the excitement of the day. Some alone time to wake for Niall sounded perfect to Louis.

Gerard played with Blu and the spaceship Zayn made. His limbs were still tired so he barely moved, just spinning the ship about his kitty, and meowing for him. The ship spat lasers at Blu and Blu dodged them, and knocked the ship down. Gerard smiled.

He played for a while, focused on his toys. So focused that he was being lifted to sit on the sofa. He looked up at Louis, confused. “Niall is on his way over.” Oh, that made sense. But why did he have to sit on the couch?

“Wana play, though.” He pointed to his ship and Blu on the floor.

Louis laughed. He handed him his toys and G made a happy sound, playing again.

He didn’t notice when Louis left but he did notice a new voice. “Where’s the little guy?”

“On the couch, Nialler.”

Suddenly Gerard was given a great big hug and almost lifted from his spot. “Nice to finally meet you!”

Gerard’s dummy fell from his mouth and he stared up at Niall. Niall grabbed it and handed it back to him with a bright smile. He didn’t think he’d ever seen brighter blue eyes in his life. And the blonde had the biggest smile on his face when he saw Gerard. He made Gerard turn red. Niall was blatantly staring and he didn’t know what to do.

“You’re so damn cute, ugh.”

“That’s what I said,” Zayn said. He and Liam came to hug Niall hello. “But I got yelled at for swearing unlike you.” He nearly pouted.

“That’s just Niall language. I don’t think G can understand him with his accent anyway,” Louis said.

Gerard felt more awake now, somehow. It was like Niall was a bright light waking him up. And all the attention on him was nice.

“Oh, are those stickers over there? Can I have one?”

Gerard looked to the table, and saw he left a page there. He didn’t even see it earlier when he was playing. He nodded, and when Niall handed him the paper he said, “Pick one for me.”

Gerard took a butterfly and handed it to him. But Niall just put his face down and told him “anywhere you want” so G stuck it right between his eyes. Niall turned cross-eyed trying to see it just like Zayn and Gerard laughed loudly.

Gerard played some more but this time with everyone. He never played so much in his life. He used to by his self, making up people’s voices to make up for his loneliness and lack of friends, but this was much more fun. Louis even said he was being a good boy with his manners and sharing his things.

“You’re being so good I think you deserve a cookie!”

Gerard clapped his hands excitedly and gave Louis a big hug. “Thank you thank you!” And Louis kissed him several times, so Gerard had to push his face away playfully because he was so silly.

It turned into a tickled fight. Niall got in on it with Louis, never one to back down from a fight, even a tickle fight. There were fingers all over his sides and tummy. He fell back on the couch laughing so hard, being poked while everyone laughed with him. He was so happy, his eyes wet and his vision blurry, but he saw Louis smiling down at him and it was magical. He got tickled worse, right under his armpit, and kicked his legs out, laughing outrageously loud, “Daddy, stop!”

Everything did stop. The laughing stopped. The tickling stopped. Gerard’s breathing stopped.

Gerard sat up, looking around at each of them. He tossed his head back and sobbed like he hadn’t before. He ruined it all. He ruined everything forever and it wouldn’t be the same, he was stupid, so stupid and dumb.

“Lads, you need to go,” Louis said, but Gerard was the only one who hadn’t heard, just sobbing on and on. They left and it was just Louis watching his little G cry like the world was ending. “My baby,” he sighed. He reached down to lift him up and his heart broke as G cried again. He was really wet, and he could tell that the boy had messed himself, too. “Shhh, my love, shhh, daddy’s got you.”

He cried harder, right from his chest. It hurt but he kept doing it. “I’m sorry!” he sobbed.

“No, no, no, you should not be sorry for anything.”

He was quick changing his nappy, because Gerard was crying but slowly coming down from it and he didn’t like being cleaned from a poopy diaper, so Louis was faster than any change he’d ever done. Louis put him into his same onesie again and held him like a little lamb, humming, calming him, and trying his hardest to stop those sounds that broke him apart. He kissed his cheeks even if they were hot and wet and salty. He was so happy that Gerard called him that but he had to make sure he was safe right now.

It took ten minutes for his wails to turn to just his eyes leaking the last of its tears that it could. Louis had sat them on the bed, and kept Gerard seated on his thighs. He had his hand on his lower back, rubbing soothing circles. “I’m glad you trust me so much to call me that, G. I love you.”

Gerard just tiredly cried. “No, I-I ru-ruined it a-all!” He clutched Louis’ shirt and trembled.

Louis held back a sigh. “Ger, this is what I wanted. I want this. Don’t you want me to be that for you?”

“I do! G wants it!” he said, nodding up at him.

“Then why are you sorry, honey?” he asked, kissing away some more tears.

“’s ‘barassing to say,” he confessed. He put his face to Louis’ neck.

“Because we were in front of the other boys?”

“Yeah…”

“They like you, baby. They know this is what we are. Liam even got you that coloring book. Doesn’t that say how much they want you to be happy?”

Gerard had to agree with that. Liam was nice, Zayn was nice, and Niall was nice, and Harry was nice, he thought. They all didn’t care he wore diapers or played with toys, they even played with him, and laughed with him, and said he was cute. “They don’t think G is weird?”

Louis smiled, and fixed his pigtails that had gone a bit wild. “No, not at all. You’re my little boy and they like you just like that, so do I, you’re my baby G.”

Gerard rubbed his eyes and over his face, and gave a big smile to Louis. “Louis’ my daddy now?” he asked.

Louis almost cried. “Yeah. I always have been you're daddy.”

Chapter Text

     

            

 

 

 

_+_

 

 

One Week Later….

 

After little G had called Louis his ‘daddy’ Louis hadn’t been happier than when he got put into a band with four other boys on X Factor. He’d always hoped it would happen, that G would trust him so much, but he didn’t think it would so soon after helping the boy. He wasn’t complaining, he only wanted to hear it every single day, always. Having Ger rely on him for anything and everything was what he wanted. Having that sweet beautiful boy in his arms, and call him daddy, let Louis take care of all his needs. He could never ask for more than that.

The boys had come back the next day after Gerard had finally realized that it was all right to say that word that he’d cried over. They all hung out, played and laughed and it was really fun. Harry wasn’t there, and that did upset Gerard a bit, but getting to know all of One Direction was important if he was going to be coming with them on tour. Having G make that connection with them all was important, so if Louis wasn’t there to watch him they could be, and so he wouldn’t be confined to a dressing room or something. He could be free to wander (Louis was even planning on assigning a body guard to him, but he’d have to pick one close to him, that would know about the age play in case something happened. It would end up being Paul most likely).

Speaking of not being confined, they were going to head out to a dinner that night together. As a sort of congratulations for Gerard’s wounds finally healing nearly all of the way. The bruises were barely there, and he didn’t need the medicine every day, unless he was having some mild aches, which those rarely happened now. Louis was so happy that his baby boy was totally healed and healthy again.

They had it all planned out so they would get privacy of course. They were supposed to have a press meeting with the other lads, but they said that Louis, and Harry, were sick and couldn’t go. While Louis was not sick, Harry did have a bit of a sore throat from singing too much, so he couldn’t speak.

“Daddy!” Gerard called from the bedroom. “Help!”

Louis smiled at the sound of his voice. He went in and found Gerard being swallowed under a pile of clothes on the bed, most of the clothes, he noticed, belonged to Louis and not Gerard.

He let out a loud laugh. “What are you doing you silly boy?” He lifted some shirts and underwear off of him, but he was still covered in clean, and probably dirty, clothing. Gerard grinned cheekily at him, a pair of trousers hanging over his shoulder. “Where you trying to dress yourself for dinner, hmm?”

“Yah! Wana wear big boy clothes like you!” He handed Louis a pair of boxers. “G wear this?”

“No, love, you wear nappies, not undies.”

His lip wobbled. “Wana be big like daddy.”

Louis sighed, and sat on an empty spot on the bed. He pet his hair and smiled softly. “Sorry, hon, but they’re for your protection. You can still dress like a big boy though, but the diapers are staying on your bottom, okay?”

“Okay daddy! Wear this?” he asked, holding up a dark purple bowtie. Louis grinned.

“First let’s get you a new nappy, you stinky thing you!” He tickled his sides, and Gerard giggled, falling backwards.

Once G was all cleaned up from his messy nappy, and they had picked up some toys he’d left on the ground, it was almost 4:30 and their reservations at one of his favorite restaurants were at 6.

He dressed Gerard in a pair of comfortable clean black jeans, not too tight and not too loose to show the padding of his diaper. The boy frowned at them. Louis combed his hair all pretty for him and even let the boy wear some make up when he asked, only blush and eyeliner, though. If he gave him lipstick he’d end up getting it all over his clothes. The eyeliner looked good on him, it brought out his crystal green eyes. He let him wear the bowtie with it a loose long sleeve green shirt. A pair of comfy Adidas and a coat and he was dressed just like a big boy.

Louis thought he looked amazing, but he liked seeing Gerard in little clothing, especially clothing that said ‘daddy’s little princess’, which he was obsessed with buying clothes like that. He even had a bib with that on it and a onesie.

“You look so dashing, love,” he cooed, kissing his cheek.

“You too! Pretty hair, daddy!” He poked the fringe that was Louis’ hair and smiled around his thumb. He wasn’t allowed a binky in such a public place but he didn’t mind using his thumb, as Louis usually chastised him for it.

“Thank you, baby. Now lets’ head out, Paul is waiting for us outside in the car. You remember Paul? He was here the other day when Niall went to play Golf.”

He nodded his head. “I like Pauly, he’s funny!”

Louis chuckled at the nickname. “He is, isn’t he? Okay, now, you remember the rules for tonight, right? Tell me what you remember, it’s fine if you don’t know them all.”

“Um, stay with you or Pauly always, be nice…” he frowned, trying to think of the others his daddy had said before. Oh! “Don’t call you my daddy.” He pouted as he said that one.

Louis picked him up in his arms, kissing his lips sweetly. “I know that last one is gonna be hard, but I love you and I am your daddy always. It’s just so people don’t bother us, okay? You can be yourself, but don’t say that word, please. Understand?” Gerard nodded. “Good boy.” He grabbed the bag that held all of Gerard’s needs, nappies and the like, and headed out the door.

Paul was waiting for them in the car. Louis sat in front, Gerard strapped in the back nice and tight. “Hi boys. Hi Gerard, you all ready for dinner then?”

“Yah! I look good?” He messed with his bowtie and grinned.

“You look like a proper big kid.” Paul smiled, starting the car.

“Thanks! Pauly, are you gonna eat with us?”

“No, bud, I’m gonna let you two have fun together, but I’ll be sitting at a table right beside you if you need me.”

“Okay!” He kicked his feet against the seat and grinned. He was really excited to be outside and see people, even if he couldn’t call his daddy his daddy or suck his binky, he didn’t care all that much, as long as he had Louis there with him.

_+_

Harry hated when he got a sore throat. It was worse than anything, because his voice was his career. He usually was put on vocal rest if it got too bad, which happened a lot.

Not including the sore throat, he was just not having the best day, either. The other lads were all out, Liam, Zayn, and Niall at some interview or something, and Louis was taking Gerard out for dinner. So he was all alone, again. Lately, he felt a bit jealous that Gerard was getting all of Louis’ attention. Usually it was Harry and Louis, Lou and Hazza, but now he was a third wheel to their baby/daddy relationship.

He had no problem with Gerard, really, the boy was sweet and funny and Harry liked to play with him. The thing was, Harry wanted what he had with Louis. He wanted to be Louis’ baby, just like Gerard. When Louis first suggested treating Gerard like a little boy, Harry was very shocked. Reason being, it was his biggest secret that Louis was suggesting to do with Gerard.

One of his houses in London had an entire room dedicated to age play. He’d bought many things over the years through a discreet website, gradually filling up his nursery and his playroom with toys and diapers, a crib and stuffies and dummies, and adult baby clothing, and all of that kind of stuff. It was where he went when he wanted to be for a few days, feel smaller and less like a big popstar. The stress had always gotten to him the most, being the youngest, and this was his way to de-stress. No one but him knew that that house even existed and he wanted it that way. It was his secret vacation spot.

He was feeling upset, just thinking about how jealous he was of Gerard. Louis was his best friend, he took care of Harry for years, and now Louis paid more attention to Gerard than him. Louis and Harry used to go out all the time, now they only did if it was work because Louis was stuck in whatever hotel they were put in with Gerard, taking care of him.

Harry was in his hotel room all alone almost in tears. He decided to head to Louis’ room, because there was always something about being around Louis and his smell that comforted him.

He opened the door with the key card Louis gave him. Inside it was warm and cozy. Harry sighed, already feeling better, and sat on the sofa. He eyed the box of toys and couldn’t help himself, couldn’t help because being little always made him feel better. So he reached in and began to play with them. Eventually, he felt himself rolling onto the ground, entering his little space with ease. Giggling, he soared a spaceship around, and ran around the room, imagining it was outer space and he was fighting evil aliens. Sometimes it wasn’t fun playing alone but he didn’t have a choice, really.

He got bored of that game after a while, so he put the ship away and went to see what else there was to do. There was a coloring book on the table so he got some crayons and colored, humming and ignoring the ache in his throat as he did. Coloring was the best, at his house he had a whole table he could draw on, it was like a giant erase board! He got so excited thinking about his own coloring stuff he got some crayon on the wooden table and pouted, looking around to see if anyone was there to see it. He put a napkin over it, shrugging, and kept coloring the page. By the time he was done he was yawning.

He took the book over to the couch and lay down, turning the TV on. He was going to put on a funny movie when the news channel came up. He saw Liam and Zayn and Niall, and he shot out of his headspace in seconds, and remembered why he came to Louis’ room in the first place. Because he was lonely. Because he felt like Louis didn’t spend time with him anymore. Because he was jealous and angry and so so sad that no one could love him like Louis loved Gerard.

He fell asleep with tears in his eyes, barely turning off the TV before he was dreaming.

_+_

The restaurant tired poor little G out. He ate a lot of food, colored in their private booth with their private waiter who was paid not to question anything. Louis never saw his smile falter and he was so happy about that. Paul heard his giggles throughout the entire meal, no doubt.

There was only one incident, and that was right before dessert. Gerard had messed himself and it was the first time he’d done that in public with Louis in such a setting. He began to cry but Louis immediately got up and grabbed his bag, taking Gerard’s hand to lead him to the bathroom. Paul was quick to follow them.

“Hush, my love, you’re okay.”

Gerard’s breathe hitched. “N-no mess, icky.”

“We’ll clean you up and you’ll be nice and dry in no time, G.”

Paul guarded the door while Louis changed Gerard. It took a few minutes, because after changing his nappy he had to calm him down. Holding him and rocking him until he stopped crying. Then, he cleaned his teary face, making sure his eyeliner wasn’t running. Gerard shoved himself back into Louis’ neck and whined, clutching him, trying to climb back into his arms. Louis cooed. “You want some chocolate cake, hon?”

“Cake?” Gerard perked up.

Louis laughed. The night when well from then on. Gerard got cake all over himself, but that was fine, it was adorable as hell anyway.

The hotel was quiet and there didn’t seem to be many paparazzi around, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any watching. Sometimes they liked to hide and surprise them. He thanked Paul and told him he could get everything up on his own, and Paul went to park the car after dropping them and their bag off up front.

Louis led a sleepy Gerard inside. He couldn’t carry the boy, unfortunately, in case paps were watching, so Gerard grumbled the walk up to the hotel and until they got into the elevator, where Louis let him lean against him and yawn around his thumb. “Tired, daddy.”

He pet his hair. “I know, babe. It’s bedtime soon.”

“Bottle?”

“Yeah, babe, you can have a bottle before bed.”

“Blu?” he asked wide-eyed.

Louis smiled. He kissed his forehead, and nodded. “Blu, too, how could we forget?”

The elevator doors opened with a ding. Gerard looked at Louis. “Carry now?”

Louis couldn’t say no to those eyes. Besides, it was only a 20 second walk to the room, he could do that easy. He put the bag over his shoulder and lifted the boy by his bum into his arms, it was a little squishy feeling, probably from him wetting.

Gerard sighed, and closed his eyes over his shoulder. “Thank ‘ou,” he mumbled.

“Welcome, baby.”

Opening the door was difficult but he got the key card out and scanned it, and they were ‘home’. Oddly enough, the lights were still on. “Huh.” He shrugged. He must’ve done that on accident. “Let’s change that wet nappy now, love.”

“Okay, daddy,” he yawned.

Louis went to set him down on the couch for a minute to get things settled real quickly when he saw Harry laying there asleep. “What—Harry?”

Gerard shifted in Louis’ grip to turn his head. “Hazzy?” he asked. His eyes brightened when he saw Harry. “Hazzy here!”

“Shh, he’s sleeping, love. Let’s not bother him right now, it’s your bedtime.”

Gerard huffed, but didn’t say anything. He was tired and bed sounded good. He wanted his bottle, too.

Louis lay him down on the bed and slipped off his shoes and socks and his pants. His nappy was totally soaked. He wiped him up, getting all his wet spots dry, and grabbed some lotion to rub it over his bum where he saw some redness. He put him in a new nappy, and into some PJ’s. He couldn’t help himself, he put him into his new purple onesie that said ‘daddy’s little princess’. He looked adorable, but he put some socks on his toes to keep him warmer. “Let’s brush your teeth now.”

“Nooo, wan’ baba, wan’ sweep!” Gerard whined. He kicked his feet.

Louis frowned, taking one ankle in his hand. “Hey, no kicking. You were so good all day, let’s keep it going please.”

Gerard sniffled. “Sorry, daddy.”

“It’s okay, love. You’re just a tired boy, aren’t you?” He cooed, tickling over his belly. Gerard laughed, then yawned. “All right. Teeth time before bedtime.”

“Bottle, daddy,” he said determined.

“How could I forget?” he laughed.

Gerard brushed his teeth with absolutely no energy. It took four minutes before he was done. He spit into the sink and let Louis see that his teeth were cleaned. Louis then combed his hair before leading them to bed.

Gerard fell into the mattress with a sigh and Louis laughed as he snuggled in, whining for his Blu. Louis gave him the stuffie and popped his purple stripped binky between his lips, covering him with the bed’s sheets and blanket. He was grabbing Gerard’s own blanket when Gerard asked, “Hazzy okay, daddy?”

Louis froze. He was worried about Harry, but he didn’t want Ger to worry, especially when he should be in bed. “Yeah, baby, daddy’s gonna make sure he is.”

He kissed Gerard goodnight and gave his blanket to the boy, to which he cuddled to his face, blinking tiredly at him. He kissed his forehead. “Daddy’s gonna get you a bottle, I’ll be back.”

Harry was still sleeping soundly on the sofa. Louis sighed, and made Gerard his bottle. It was just plain but it would do the trick. He warmed it up and took it to his baby.

Gerard was half asleep waiting, binky bobbing on his mouth. He made grabby hands when he saw Louis with the bottle in his hands, spitting out the binky in excitement for his bottle. He loved them, they were yummy. He was made to sit up against some pillows and held it with two hands, sucking down some quickly. He closed his eyes and hummed.

“Slow down, you’ll hurt your belly. Don’t want a tummy ache before bed, do we?” Louis took the bottle from him, Gerard whining. “Shh. Daddy’s gonna feed you instead.” He climbed on the bed, pulling Gerard half into his lap. “Here, lovely.” He pressed the false nipple to his lips and Gerard latched on. A few minutes later, he was done, and barely awake.

Louis settled him back under the covers and gave him back his binky, kissing his forehead. “Goodnight. Love you, angel.”

He suckled his binky happily, blinking lovey eyes at Louis. “Love daddy. Sing for G pweez?”

Louis smiled. “Course, love.” He sang a few lyrics from Little Things, because that always got Gerard off to sleep quickly, and since he was right on the edge of slumber it didn’t take much. He stood there a moment to make sure he was sleeping before shutting the door to go check on his best friend.

Usually Harry came over, but he never stayed so late, or fell asleep on the sofa. He sighed, seeing Harry sleeping curled up on the couch. It couldn’t be comfortable. And as he got closer, he saw tear stains on his cheeks.

“Oh, Hazza,” he sighed, crouched down, messing with the loose curls. He glanced around, wondering if he ate anything, or how long he was there for. There wasn’t much of a mess or any leftover food from room service, but there was a coloring book with a page opened and totally colored in, scribbly and messy like a real child’s. He knew G didn’t color it, the little always shows him each new page he did. He wondered why Harry would color in the boy’s book.

He decided to just let him sleep, and grabbed a spare blanket from the hotel’s closet, covering Harry with it. He shifted in his sleep and Louis paused a moment, and said a soft goodnight to his friend. He was worried, but he would talk with him in the morning. They both needed rest.

He joined Gerard in bed, cuddling close with the younger. He fell into a sort of restless sleep. When he woke up, Harry was gone, and the page he found last night was torn out.

Chapter Text

I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote the last part of this!!! Sorry to anyone who liked this, but life has been busy and honestly I got into a zone of just reading fics and not writing any haha so... I realize that some of you probably don't care anymore about this BUT I am working on finishing up all my open fics on here !! :) I have all the chapters planned out for this, I'm guessing 4-5 more chapters?

ANYWAYS. This is being worked on and so are the other works I have! And I made a Tumblr so if anyone wants to send me any prompts I will gladly do them because I want to get back into writing again :)

LOTS OF LOVE GUYS! I hope that you still want to read all my weird little writings, I'll be posting the new chapter of this any many others soon !! :)) <3

Chapter Text

A few days later…

The flight to London was hard for Gerard. They were going for some interviews, to practice for their coming album, and then make a music video; it a lot but also exciting and always fun with all the guys. But Gerard hadn’t ever been on a flight before. This was a private plane, too, so the experience wasn’t easy for the poor boy.

As soon as the plane went to take off in the air, Gerard was crying, clinging his hand tightly to Louis’s own, who sat next to him. His tummy felt weird and his ears were popping. He hated the seats separating him from his daddy. All he wanted was to be in his lap but everyone said no.

“Daddy!” He tried to climb over but Louis just held his hand and that wasn’t good enough for Gerard. “Lap, wan’ lap,” he sobbed.

“Oh, baby boy, it’s okay!” He cooed. Louis hated seeing tears in his poor G’s eyes but there wasn’t much he could do right then. “I’ve got you, don’t cry.”

Gerard just sobbed more and when the plane lifted up he screamed and messed his diaper a little. Louis lifted the arm rest and got closer to the boy, making sure his seat belt was still on tight, shushing him and holding his head to his shoulder. He pet his hair, slowly calming him down. “There, there, daddy’s got you. You’re safe, yeah? All of us are right here, right lads?”

“Yeah,” Niall said from across the aisle. His bright blue eyes were concerned looking over at them. “We aren’t going anywhere. The plane is safe and you’ve got us!”

Liam and Zayn agreed from where they sat behind Niall. Even Paul, who was watching over them from the front of the plane, gave Gerard some comfort. “It’s okay to be scared, but we’re right here with you. Nothing’s going to happen.”

The only one who didn’t comfort the upset little whose cries echoed the plane was Harry. He was sat in the back of the plane, telling the others earlier that he didn’t get much sleep and wanted to be left alone to relax. He’d put his headphones in but really wasn’t playing music when he heard all the commotion with Gerard. He hated watching it all. Hearing all the coo’s and encouragement. It was just the jealousy inside that he didn’t understand why he got all the love and not him, not Harry, who used to be the “little one” of their group.

Louis wasn’t talking to him, or rather, Harry wasn’t letting him. Not after “the incident”. He knew Louis suspected something was wrong with Harry, but Louis got the cold shoulder from the younger the past few days and with Gerard to look after he didn’t have time to really talk to him.

When the plane leveled out and it was okay to walk around, Louis finally was able to take G to the bathroom and change him. Then a movie was put on for him, the new My Little Pony movie, of course, and he sucked his pacifier and watched happily.

After some time, the ride was quiet. Smooth flying to London the rest of the way and they eventually landed in London.

Gerard was in awe of everything he saw in the car ride to the hotel. “Ooooh, look, it’s so pretty!” He pointed outside. This repeated about every 2 minutes in the car, after cool buildings or just some trees, and Louis loved how much fun he was having so much that he recorded the whole thing on his phone.

“Yeah it sure is, isn’t it, sweetheart?” He grinned at the other lads, who shook their heads at Louis. He was such a dad.

Getting to the hotel was easy. What was not easy was choosing who was rooming with whom. And lucky for Harry—or not—he got to share a two bedroom suite with Louis and Gerard. Liam and Zayn were sharing a room, Niall had stinky feet and snored so he got his own. Harry begged not to, which kind of upset Louis because he and Harry were close until lately, but no one wanted to switch and the only one throwing a fit about it was Harry.

“Harry stop being rude. G wants to room with you, he misses you.” Liam frowned at the younger.

Harry pouted but kept on walking to the elevator. He would just have to deal with it. And that was that.

Gerard was tired, so while Louis unpacked and Harry took a shower for some reason, the boy took a nap on their bed. Louis realized he’d have to share but that was okay, Gerard usually liked to sleep close to him anyways.

As he was unpacking, he found a coloring book page in his bag. He frowned at it, and realized it was the page Harry drew. He didn’t know what was up with the curly-haired singer but lately he’d been different, distant and even a bit mean, like earlier. He and Gerard got on okay and then suddenly not at all, and Harry kept far away from them.

Maybe it was time to finally talk about what’s been bothering Harry.

_

When Harry was in the shower he was thinking. Thinking about how things had changed and not all for the better. Yeah, he liked Gerard. When they first met the boy he was so upset and shy and cute, but once Louis got attached to him, Harry was pushed to the background. He felt insignificant.

That probably wasn’t Gerard’s fault. He just was attention starved. But Harry craved attention, too. And when the main source of comfort to him, his best friend, was taken, he got mad. Harry was a little before Gerard. Harry was going to ask Louis to take care of him like that…eventually.

Scrubbing his body down in the hot water, Harry tried to avoid the two people in the room right outside. He knew Louis like the back of his hand, and Louis would want to talk to him. Probably yell at Harry for treating his ‘little boy’ like he did.

Under the spray of water not even Harry noticed his own tears.

Louis was waiting on his and Gerard’s bed, the little sleeping soundly under the sheets. Louis was sitting at the edge with this patient look that only Louis could give. One that said he would wait as long as he needed to in order to hear the truth.

Harry sighed, and faced away from those piercing eyes. He grabbed his clothes and changed, hair still wet and dripping on the carpet. Nudity wasn’t something Harry cared much about. “What do you want me to say, Lou? Sorry for not being nice to Gerard?” he asked, slipping on his sweat pants.

“What I want is for you to tell me what this is.”

Harry turned around sharply at the softer tone. It was not what he was expecting. And there was the picture he colored, right in Louis’ hands. The picture that he tore out and put in… Uh oh. Not his bag, but Louis’ bag… He must’ve been down pretty low in his headspace to do that.

He played dumb, because he was backed into a corner. Harry was not prepared for this. “I—I don’t know, did Ger—”

“Don’t.” Louis dropped the paper on the bed. He stood up and walked to Harry, standing a mere foot apart. Harry felt trapped. Pale as a ghost and shaking, and not just because he was still wet from the shower. Louis reached a hand to touch Harry but he shied away, and that made the older frown. “Hazza, tell me the truth. Did you color in Gerard's book? Why?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Maybe I just wanted to… Some people find it comforting.” He tried to move around Louis but the blue-eyed male grabbed his upper arm, not tightly, but enough to halt him. “Louis. Let me go.” He whined out. His face must’ve had a panicked look because Louis did let him go, but then Harry didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t move. This was too much. He was cold and hot and scared. Not of Louis, but of what Louis would say next.

“Harry… I just need to know…”

“What?” he breathed. This was it, wasn't it?

“Are you…?” And he looked back at Gerard still sleeping on the bed.

Harry felt his chest tighten. This was the moment he wanted, the one he’d dreamed of. He was being asked and all he had to do was say yes or no. Time was slowing down, it seemed, because Harry could feel every single breathe he took, and they were not normal. His lips trembled with each exhale. Louis’ eyes gazed into his soul—and no matter how dumb it sounded, Harry felt it. They pierced right through him and it was those eyes that made him speak the words.

“I’m a little.”

He said it quietly. Without emotion. Bland. Like it wasn’t anything special. But he said it. Out loud, to another person. One of the most important persons in his life.

Louis was shocked. And then, in the moment of that shock, Harry ran, because he saw the startled look and knew that Louis didn’t want him. He knew he already had a little, and Harry wasn't needed. Not like that. Maybe not ever again. The only one Louis needed and wanted to be a daddy to was Gerard.

“No, wait—don’t go! Haz—”

The hotel door slammed shut, but not before Louis could hear the sounds of Harry’s cries.

Gerard woke up from the bang. “Daddy,” he sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Loud.”

Louis looked from the door to Gerard. He decided to deal with Harry after the baby was taken care of. He couldn’t leave Gerard alone like this. Harry was a little, but Gerard was his little.

Chapter Text

Louis felt guilty as he held Gerard in his arms. The dark-haired lad had stopped crying but Louis still rocked him, mindlessly shushing him and cooing. Gerard just lay over Louis’ lap, sucking on his finger and slowly waking up. He was adorable all sleepy-eyed.

But all he could think about was Harry. And the way he just handled everything. He shouldn’t have picked Gerard over Harry, and honestly in the moment it wasn’t even a choice of who he liked better or even a choice at all. He just knew Harry was a grown adult and Gerard was in his headspace like usual, and it was his responsibility to care for his Little. Therefore, he let Harry leave.

Things were beginging to change, and he was seeing everything in a different perspective. Suddelnly things in the past made sense now knowing that Harry was a Little. He had kept that hidden for some reason.

Louis would’ve looked out for Harry like he always did. Harry clearly needed Louis just as much as Gerard did in that sense. He would’ve cared for him in whatever way he desired and the other lads would’ve, too.

His phone pinged several times in a row in his pocket. He set G beside him, kept an arm around the still drowsy boy, and took out his phone.

Liam sent him four text messages in a row.

‘Harry is in my bathroom’

‘he’s very upset’

‘he keeps crying for you’

‘you need to come here NOW’

Louis just wanted to hit himself for how stupid he had been. Harry was crying because he had essentially left him by not going after him.

He changed into comfier clothes, doing the same for Gerard, who objected at first but then once he had his pacifier he gave up. With determination to fix his mistake, he headed to Liam’s room.

Almost immediately after Liam let them in he could hear Harry crying, and Gerard heard it too.

He looked up in Louis’s arms, green eyes wide. “Why Hazzy cry, daddy?”

Louis sighed. He switched Gerard to his other hip, and shook his head at the boy, keeping a small smile on so he wasn’t aware. It wasn’t for him to stress about, he was just a Little after all. “Nothing, baby. Why don’t you go with Liam back to ours?” He looked to Liam, who nodded, a tense look on his face. “You guys can play fun games. I’m very jealous.”

“Hazzy come play with G later?”

Louis smiled. “Yeah, little one. He can play with you later.”

Handing Gerard to Liam, he kissed G and said goodbye.

Once they were gone, Louis went to the bathroom door. He knocked once.

“Liam, go away.”

“It’s me, H.”

There was a shaky intake of breath, and Harry didn’t reply.

“Let’s talk. Please?”

Several seconds later, the door cracked open. “Fine,” Harry mumbled.

When he saw Harry, Louis hated his self even more. The poor boy was red-eyed and his face was covered in dry tears. “Harry…”

“Don’t.” He raised a hand, and sighed. “Give me a minute.”

Louis waited, sat down on the big bed on the edge.

Harry stepped out of the bathroom for the second time, looking less teary-eyed than before. He sat down beside Louis, not as close as they would normally sit, and looked at him with such a blank face it hurt Louis terribly.

“What do you want to say?” he asked wearily.

Louis took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Harry startled, eye brows furrowed. “For what, looking after Gerard? It’s what you love.” He shook his head, and he said those words like loving someone was horrible.

Louis knew that Harry was just hurting, so he took it in stride. “I know, but… It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, too, Harry. Because I do love you, you’re everything to me.”

Harry swallowed hard. “Thanks,” he whispered, choked up.

“But,” he continued, “I just don’t understand why you’ve become so mean. Not to me, but to Gerard. He loves you, H. And I thought you liked him, too. You were so nice to him, you played with him and sang together and had a great time. Now you look at him like he’s the worst person you have ever met, and that’s coming from you, the nicest person I know.” Each word he said, Louis knew Harry was getting hit hard. He looked like he was going to cry again. “What happened, Harry?”

Harry’s hands came together on his lap, and he took a deep breath. “I-I don’t know…”

“That’s not true,” he replied softly. “You do know. Just tell me, please?”

Harry sniffed, head bowed low. “It hurts…”

“What does, love?” His eyes flickered to Harry’s hands, wishing to take one in his own. But not yet.

“To see you two, like that… I-I just…” He shook his head, hair bouncing. “It doesn’t matter anyways.”

“Don’t say that it doesn’t matter when you and I both know it does.”

Harry winced. “Well, I just…was…jealous, I suppose… Once I figured it out…”

“Figured out what, Haz?”

He shrugged. “Once I realized why it hurt to see you with him, like that.”

“And why?” Louis asked. He never knew Harry was hurting when he saw Gerard and Louis together. That was almost always, too. The Little was 90 percent of the time with Louis.

Harry didn’t answer.

“Tell me.”

“I—I—”

“Harry, just tell me why,” he demanded.

“Because I love you!” he screamed, shoving his hands to his face as he sobbed.

Louis frowned. He already knew that. Then his eyes widened. He came to the conclusion that Harry meant it differently than before. He didn’t mean like friends say it to each other, or even like couples. The way he meant it, was just like the way G said it.

“H, please stop crying,” he begged. He grabbed his hands in his own, and tugged Harry into his chest, holding the poor boy while he sobbed. Shushing him and patting his back. Harry shoved himself as near as he possibly could to get the comfort he sorely desired. His face was tucked in the crook of Louis’s neck, his arms wrapped tightly around him.

It was obvious Harry needed the same care and attention just like Gerard did. Somehow, he already knew it would come to this. Ever since Harry said ‘I’m a Little’ it was clear as day what needed to be done. So with that, Louis was certain of what he had to do.

“Alright, calm down, love,” Louis hushed. “I’ve got you now, Haz.”

Harry did as he said, slowly but surely. The younger lad breathed easy, still hugging Louis but not sobbing like he was. He sniffled a bit, but kept himself hidden in the fabric of Louis’s shirt. His fingers clasped gently in the back of his shirt.

“Good. I need to ask you something, Harry, can you look at me please?”

He hesitantly lifted his head, and glanced up at him, eyes watery and lip quivering, waiting.

Looking into those green-eyes, so like Gerard’s when he looked at Louis, he felt an overwhelming amazing amount of love for Harry. He saw a side of him he hadn’t seen in a long time. Harry was a confident person, he knew what he wanted and he voiced it without question. Harry was loud, and fun, and kind. But this Harry, reminded Louis of a Harry Styles of 16 years old. Shy, sweet, still kind as ever, but there was uncertainty in his expression.

“Do you want to be mine? My Little boy?”

A few new tears fell, and Harry didn’t answer. He merely put his face back where it was, and hugged him impossibly tighter.

So Louis answered for him, with a sure smile on his lips. “Then you’re G’s brother. Is that okay?”

Harry sobbed again, the sound muffled, and he threw his whole self onto Louis, knocking them back on the bed. “Yes, yes, yes, please, I want that, I want it so bad, Lou!”

Louis laughed, and held Harry tight. “Okay, angel, okay, you’ve got me, you’ve got us now. Shh, I’ve got you, baby.” He snuggled his face into his hair, smelling that Harry scent—like berries and sugar—and sighed. Louis was going to have his hands full. And he couldn’t wait.