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So Jonny had obviously forgotten that Kaner had invited himself around to his apartment that night, because otherwise the first words Kaner heard as Jonny walked through the front door wouldn’t have been, “Yes, Tim, fine. I do still wanna fuck Kaner. You happy?”

Kaner froze. Tim was one of Jonny’s lame Canadian friends who seemed to spend most of his time judging Kaner (which, fine, so did most of Canada), and as far as Kaner knew, he was currently up north. Which meant that Jonny was on the phone and hadn’t realized that Kaner was in his living room waiting for the Xbox to load.

Kaner sat there, silent and stunned for a moment, as the awkwardness of the situation sunk in. That lasted about long enough for Jonny to get from the front door to the entrance of the living room. By that point the shock had washed right over Kaner and flipped off his already tenuous brain-to-mouth engagement switch, and all he could think to say as Jonny came to an abrupt halt in the doorway, phone still pressed to his ear, was, “Oh, hey, you wanna fuck me?”

“I’ll call you back,” Jonny snapped to Tim, and switched the phone off, shoving it in his pocket. Kaner noticed with vague disbelief that his hands were shaking a little.

Jonny’s voice was deadly as he stared at Kaner. “What. The fuck. Are you doing here?”

Kaner held up the Xbox controller and wiggled it around next to his head. “Remember? UFC World Championship? USA versus Canada?”

The look on Jonny’s face indicated that no, he didn’t remember.

Kaner rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, dude, we totally had plans.” He was put out for about half a second, until the reality of what Jonny had actually just said rebounded and smacked him in the face again.

“Wait, really? You wanna fuck me?” He dropped the controller. “What is that all about?”

Not that it was, like, a problem. Obviously Kaner had jerked off thinking about Jonny, with the same vague feeling of guilt he always had whenever he got off thinking about any of his teammates. Which wasn’t that often, but still happened. Kaner didn’t make a big deal out of his sexuality, which was ‘fluid’ in the way that meant he was into whoever he had the most chance of actually sleeping with, but yeah, guys were definitely an option. And he jerked off thinking about practically everyone, so it totally wasn’t weird that he’d gotten a few (well, maybe more than a few) out thinking about the way Jonny’s cheeks got all flushed after a game, or whatever.

Kind of like the way they were now.

“Shut the fuck up,” Jonny said through gritted teeth, breaking into the crazy flow of thoughts running through Kaner’s head. He was standing all stiff and imposing in the doorway, hands clenched at his sides. Kaner bit his lip. Usually, figuring out someone wanted to have sex with him made them about fifty times more attractive. Apparently Jonny wasn’t gonna be an exception.

“Hey, settle down, dude,” Kaner said, holding up his hands. “I’m-”

“Out,” Jonny snapped, stepping to one side and folding his arms across his chest. “Get out.”

“No, I’m into it,” Kaner blurted out, taking a hesitant step forward. “I mean, I’m into it, Tazer. If, like. You are?”

Up until two minutes ago, Kaner had assumed Jonny was straight, inasmuch as he gave a fuck about anything that wasn’t hockey. Kaner had never had any evidence to the contrary, anyway, but hey, he knew how to roll with the punches. He could have his whole ‘whoa, my best friend is into dick?’ moment later.

Because right now Jonny’s face was going slack with disbelief, as if he was having a moment like that of his own. Kaner could only smile hopefully. The more he thought about sex with Jonny, the more it seemed like a fucking awesome idea. He didn’t know when exactly Jonny had been hit over the head hard enough to make him think he was attracted to Kaner, but it wasn’t like Kaner was complaining.

Jonny, however, didn’t look like he was ready to see things from Kaner’s point of view.

“You...” he started, and then clenched his jaw shut like he didn’t know what the fuck Kaner was. He shook his head and pointed at the door. “I’m serious, Kaner. You need to just leave now.”

Well, fine, okay, Kaner wasn’t a complete idiot. He was used to people being embarrassed about wanting to fuck him, but even he was smart enough to know that this wasn’t the same. This was Jonny, and this was... kind of fucking big.

“Okay,” he said, and gathered up his keys and wallet. “Calm down, Tazer. know.” He shrugged, looking up at Jonny’s red, stony face as he sidled past him through the doorway. “It’s not a big deal.”

Which actually, yeah it was. But Kaner was pretty sure Jonny didn’t want to hear him yelling ‘this is a huge fucking deal, bro!’ at him right then or whatever. Or hear him say anything, at all, ever again, judging by the look on his face.

“Call me, man,” he risked, as he left Jonny standing there like a dumb Canadian statue. “You better, you asshole.”

Jonny didn’t say anything.

Kaner left.


The thing was, it wouldn’t have been hard for Jonny to laugh it off and pretend it was a joke. What had Kaner even actually heard? There could have been context, or whatever. Jonny could have meant... well, okay, Kaner wasn’t really sure what else ‘Yes, Tim, fine. I do still wanna fuck Kaner.’ could possibly mean, but Jonny could have come up with something. He could have just laughed it off.

But the way he completely blew his stack like a total psycho? That kind of made Kaner think that there’d actually been something in it.

So yeah. As he walked the couple blocks back to his place, he decided that his mind was officially blown.


Kaner didn’t feel at all guilty about the fact that he was jerking off when Jonny’s name flashed up on his cell later that night, but he felt maybe a little guilty that he didn’t really stop when he answered the call. Fuck Jonny, he was an asshole, he deserved it.

“Hey,” he said, slowing his hand on his cock and trying to get his breathing under control. “Dickhead.”

“What are you doing?” Jonny asked suspiciously.

Kaner grinned at the ceiling. “Sit ups,” he lied, easy and unconvincing. “What are you doing?”

“You are not,” Jonny snapped, but apparently he had other things on his mind, because half a second later he added, “What the fuck did you mean you’d be into it?”

Kaner blinked a few times, biting his lip. “Uh... hi, Tazer, I’m fine, thanks for asking, how are you?”

“Fuck you, just answer the question.”

Trust Jonny to get straight down to fucking business. Kaner could feel his face going red. “I - shit. I mean, I’d be into it, you know. You. Me.” It was a near thing, but he managed to stop himself from adding ‘bumping uglies’. He didn’t think Jonny would appreciate it.

Jonny already sounded pretty frustrated with him as it was. “You’re not gay.”

“Nope,” Kaner agreed, because fuck Jonny, he’d been to the same ‘Equality is for Champions!’ seminar the rest of them had been forced to attend every season, he should have been more sensitive and open-minded. Or something.

“So what are you...” Jonny was starting to trip over his words, his monotone devolving into a toneless mumble like it always did when he was flustered. “Am I just special or what.”

Kaner snorted. “Not really. I have sex with dudes sometimes, Jonny. You know that.”

“What?” Jonny said, sounding confused.  “No I don’t. No you don’t. Since fucking when?”

Kaner shrugged, like Jonny could actually see him. “I dunno. C’mon, you’ve seen me with guys in bars and shit. Haven’t you?” He realized he wasn’t exactly being fair, here - he tended to keep that shit way on the down low - but he’d honestly thought Jonny would have picked up something in the years they’d known each other. They didn’t live in each other’s pockets and Kaner had never said anything, but still.

Jonny hesitated. “I’ve seen you... in bars,” he said slowly. “But it’s not like I’ve seen you fucking sucking any dick on the way to the bathroom.”

“Well, I normally wait until I get in the bathroom.” It felt weird for Kaner to talk about it like it was an everyday occurrence. It really, really wasn’t. Getting laid at all was a constant and disappointing struggle.

“You suck dick in the bathrooms of random Chicago clubs.” Jonny was starting to sound even pissier than usual. “I can’t believe you, Patrick.”

Ouch. Patrick.

“Don’t be an asshole about it, dude,” Kaner said, looking at his dick, which was starting to seriously lose interest in the conversation. “You’re the one who apparently wants to fuck me or whatever. Since when are you into dudes?”

“This isn’t about me,” Jonny replied, which was so blatantly unfair that Kaner couldn’t even respond.  

Jonny didn’t give him a chance, anyway. “I thought you liked girls.”

“I do,” Kaner said. “You don’t have to be only straight or only gay. I mean, I love girls.”

“Pity they don’t love you back,” Jonny said, which was a pretty half-assed effort at a joke, even for him.

“Ugh, weak. I get plenty of pussy.” Which was an obvious lie, but whatever.

Jonny ignored him. “When was the last time you were with a guy.” He didn’t even sound like he was asking a question, the freak. Kaner found himself wondering what he’d sound like in bed, whether he’d, like, just drone orders in that bland, uninterested voice the whole time or what.

Oh, look, his dick was starting to pay attention again. Weird.

“Kaner? Kaner, you better not be jerking off.”

“I’m not,” Kaner slid his hand under his pillow. “Anyway, I don’t remember the last time I hooked up with a dude. It’s not like I keep a diary.” Which, obviously he did remember. It had been awesome.

Jonny wasn’t convinced. “Just fucking tell me, Kaner.”

Ugh, fine.

Fine. You really wanna know? Fine. It was last summer in New Orleans. Remember we went to that shitty little dive bar with the cheap shooters? Sharpy and Versteeg were there.”

Jonny sounded like he was frowning. “I remember you made friends with that group of really douchey Swedish tourists,” he said.

“Fuck off, you did not,” Jonny said, like Kaner had just told him he’d had a threesome with Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie while Brad Pitt stood around yelling encouragement. Kaner was a little offended.

“I fucking did. What, you think I can’t pull a hot Swede? That hurts, Tazer.”

“But they were assholes.” Oh, look, there was an expression in Jonny’s voice, that was new. It was something like murderous rage. “What did you - did you line them up and take them one after the other or what?”

Kaner tried to remind himself that Jonny being a jealous psycho control freak wasn’t hot, it was dickish.

You’re being an asshole, Jonny, what is with you? His name was Michael, there was only one of him.”

“And?” Okay, improvement, now he just sounded impatient and annoyed instead of like he was sharpening a butcher knife.

“And what?”

“And what did you do with Michael the Swedish douchebag?”

Kaner’s lips twitched a little. “What, you jealous there, Tazer?”

“As if. I just.” Mumble, mumble, again. “Want to make sure your indiscretions don’t fucking damage the team.”

Kaner nodded to himself. “Right. Well, settle down, dude, he didn’t even know who the Blackhawks were, I was pretty sure he wasn’t gonna run and try to sell the story of his gay tryst with Patrick Kane to Deadspin or anything.”

Jonny was quiet for a second, and then, voice so low Kaner had to strain to listen, he said, “So what did you do, Kaner?”


Kaner slid his hand out from under the pillow, slowly. “I dunno, shit. Didn’t even make it back to his hotel room, got about as far as the alley out the back of the bar.”

Jonny made a furious, choked little sound, but didn’t interrupt. Kaner closed his eyes, remembering. “Yeah, I was pretty trashed, but you don’t have to be, you know, sober to get on your knees and suck dick. He seemed to enjoy it.”

“And that was it? He didn’t even get you back?” Jonny sounded kind of outraged on his behalf. Kaner smiled.

“He jerked me off, dude,” he continued softly. “He just pushed me up against the wall and shoved his hand down my pants, got me off just like that. It was sweet.”

“Uh-huh,” Jonny said, voice tight. “And?”

Telling this to Jonny was turning him on more than he would have thought. The fact that Jonny was into it, though... shit.

“And it wasn’t the first time,” he continued, dropping his voice lower. “I like it. I like it when it’s just - easy, you don’t have to think about it. I like it when I can just let someone push me around, get me off and then fuck off. You know?”

“You - you do that?”

Kaner rolled his eyes. “I pick up guys in clubs for like, one-hour stands, dude,” he said, heart thumping a little. “They’re not gentlemen. They’re not all... nice and shit like you probably are.”

“Nice. Fuck, Kaner. Who said I wanted to be nice?” Jonny's voice was raw, like the words were being dragged out of him by force. He laughed a little, low and broken. “I have a feeling you’d bring out the worst in me.”

Kaner caught his breath. His cock was definitely hard again, and as he slid his free hand back down his stomach he took a moment to appreciate the idea of Jonny not being nice to him.

“So that’s how it is, huh?” he asked, and his voice was sounding kind of messed up because he could hardly breathe and his hand was on his cock and, apparently, he brought out the worst in Jonny.


“What do you think, I wanna buy you flowers and chocolates?” Jonny’s voice had that familiar disdainful edge back, the one that Kaner had come to know and love. “Yeah it’s like that, Kaner.”

Kaner tried not to make any noises that would indicate that he actually was jerking off now.

“Tell me,” he demanded. “Tell me what you wanna do to me.”

Jonny was silent for a while. Kaner could just hear him breathing, deep and steady, nothing at all like Kaner’s little panting gasps - which he was trying and mostly failing to aim away from the phone. He stroked his cock slowly, in time with Jonny’s breaths. It felt fucking good, too good. He was gonna come and Jonny still hadn't said anything.

Tazer,” Kaner whined. “C’mon.”

“No,” Jonny said at last. “This is fucking awful. What - I can hear you jerking off, dickhead.”

Kaner laughed, busted, and sped his hand up. Jonny’s voice wasn’t really all that hot, objectively, but fuck, Kaner was feeling pretty fucking subjective right then all things considered.

“You should see me, too,” he said. “Fuck, Tazer, I told you, I’m into it. If you really wanna fuck me, you can.”

Jonny made a little noise, the same noise he made when Kaner beat him at Mario Kart or something, and didn’t reply.

Kaner laughed again. “You totally do want to. Fucking... you can, of course you can.”

“This conversation...” Jonny didn’t elaborate on what this conversation was (hot, in Kaner’s opinion), just cut himself off with a sigh. “I’m hanging up.”

Shit. “Wait, wait,” Kaner said quickly, a little desperately. He was so fucking close, leaking precome over his fingers and onto his stomach, muscles tense and hard. The phone was slippery with sweat, sliding between his cheek and shoulder and Jesus fuck, he needed to come. “Say something,” he insisted stupidly. “Please.”

“Say what?” Jonny sounded bored and irritated, which he did a lot when talking to Kaner, but this time Kaner was pretty sure it was fake.

“I don’t fucking care, dude,” Kaner said, jerking his cock faster, feeling whatever control he had left slipping away as he waited for Jonny to just tip him  over the edge. “Jesus, tell me about the migration patterns of Canadian geese, whatever, just let me-”

“Oh God, you’re gonna come, aren’t you?”

Kaner whimpered a little. The disgust in Jonny’s voice was a total turn-on, weirdly.

“Ugh, you are. Shit, Pat, if I was there I’d...”

“What?” Kaner squeezed his eyes shut and curled his toes. He could feel it, feel his orgasm gathering, ready to hit him like a ton of fucking bricks. “You’d what, Jonny?”

Jonny’s voice was low, almost a whisper. “I’d hold you the fuck down and do it myself.”

Kaner came with a long, low groan, not bothering to try and hide it. It felt amazing, hot and deep and vital, like it was either come or die. Fuck, he couldn’t remember the last time jacking off had been that awesome.

“Jonny,” he panted after a minute, when the intensity was dying down and he could actually form words and thoughts again. “Jonny, holy shit dude.”

“Clean yourself up, Kaner,” Jonny said disdainfully, as if he hadn’t just deliberately pushed Kaner over the edge. “This conversation never happened.”

“It did, though,” Kaner replied, weirdly content. He was used to Jonny being kind of a controlling asshole. It was almost comforting. “The evidence is currently dripping down my stomach.”

Silence again, which was cool with Kaner. He let himself sprawl out, his body relaxing and coming down as he waited for Jonny to answer.

“You’re fucking gross,” Jonny eventually said. “I’m going.”

“Gonna go jerk off too?” Kaner cackled gleefully. “Come over here and do it, man. You can come on my face. I mean, that’s pretty ungentlemanly, if that’s your thing or whatever - “

But Jonny had hung up..

Kaner grinned, and reached over to his bedside table for some tissues. He’d bet two of his televisions and his PlayStation that Jonny was gonna go jerk off. It was fucking hot.

He wouldn’t bet the Xbox, though. Jonny was just enough of a repressed Canadian freak to go and have a cold shower and run over game plays in his head until his hard on went away, just to fucking spite Kaner. Dick.

“Dick,” Kaner repeated out loud, and ambled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Fucking Tazer. Kaner was definitely going to have to put in some work, there.

But he was looking forward to it, for sure.


The next morning, Kaner dragged himself out of bed and into his workout gear, took one look at the gym in his building, and decided to go for a jog instead. If he played his cards right, he might even manage to get breakfast out of it.

He hit Jonny’s building on the way back from his circuit. He hated every step, obviously, because running was something he did, but had never learned to love - let him skate, or lift weights or anything else. Jonny got some sort of weird zen pleasure out of it, apparently, ran for miles every day and judged Kaner when he wouldn’t even try to keep up. Kaner didn’t give a shit. Running sucked and people who liked running sucked and Jonny sucked most of all.

The burn in his lungs and the ache in his legs made it kind of hard to think about what had happened the night before, though, and that was good.

Probably. Kaner had been into it, totally, one hundred per cent down with it, but he could recognize when he was being a pushy dickhead. In Kaner’s opinion Jonny was a bit of a delicate flower at the best of times, and messing with his head was only fun when he was mostly sure it wouldn’t have lasting consequences. He wasn’t positive what last night had meant for Jonny, whether he was freaking out about it or getting angry or weird or what, but Kaner thought that if he wanted a chance at this - at having it for real, not separated by a few city blocks and a phone line - he’d probably better put in the hard yards and apologize and see how it went from there.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he’d be apologizing for, but it definitely couldn’t hurt to try.

Jonny buzzed him up when he got there, which was a good start. He opened the door and just looked at Kaner, sweating and gasping in his doorway, like he was something bizarre and out of place that Jonny just didn’t know how to even deal with. Kaner made a face at him.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, and took a drink from his water bottle so he didn’t have to see how Jonny took it. “I know it’s weird and all, now, but you wanna play Call of Duty or something?”

“Your entire face is weird,” Jonny replied, completely deadpan, and stepped back to let Kaner in. “And you smell like shit.”

“I went jogging,” Kaner said, looking up at him as he headed into the apartment. “Fucking jogging, Jonny. Shit, that sounds so emasculating. I didn’t jog, I fucking ran. Brutally.”

“Emasculating? That’s a big word for such a little guy.” Jonny smiled his stupid little bland smile, and Kaner was struck pretty hard and out of the blue by how awesome it’d be to kiss him. Right then, just lean up and grab his face and lay one right on him.

He didn’t, because Jonny had already knocked out all his teeth once and Kaner didn’t want to have to go through all that again. But still.

“I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?” he said, before stopping to think about all the different ways that was probably true right then. He rolled his eyes at himself, at the way he could feel his cheeks heating up. “Whatever. Let me use your shower, I’ve got spare clothes here.”

Jonny frowned, following him through the hall to the guest room and watching him rummage through a chest of drawers for a pair of sweats. “When did they end up here?”

Kaner shrugged. “I dunno? I always keep shit here. I’ve got practically half my shit at Sharpy’s, too.”

Jonny’s frown deepened, but he didn’t argue, just waved his hand towards the bathroom. “Knock yourself out.”

Kaner tried not to spend too much time watching him go, and then did his best to drown himself in the shower. Things were a little weird, but Jonny was always weird. He figured it was okay.

When he got out, Jonny was sitting at the coffee table with two plates of obviously yolkless scrambled eggs and that fake bacon shit he loved, which had clearly been grilled and not fried. Despite the obvious implications of wholesomeness, it smelled pretty good.

“For me?” Kaner trilled, sitting down and shaking his wet hair in Jonny’s face. “You shouldn’t have, bro.”

“Yeah, I know.” But Jonny was smiling as he shoved his hand in Kaner’s face and pushed him away, and they ate in relative peace, bickering a little about which morning cartoons to watch. The eggs were fucking delicious, and Jonny allowed them each one glass of juice before switching them to water, so Kaner felt a little bit like he was being spoiled. It was pretty great.

The Call of Duty deathmatch was next, and they didn’t have any team shit to do, so it got fairly involved. They chirped each other like normal, and everything was sort of swimming along like usual right up until the point where Jonny paused the game and turned in his seat to look at Kaner. “So, last night,” he said, like he was picking up on a conversation that had obviously only happened in his own head. Kaner stared at him, eyebrows raised, until he bit his lip and added, “It was good. Wasn’t it?”

Kaner was, like, instantly turned on. He felt his cheeks burning, and immediately flashed back to the way he’d come last night with Jonny’s voice in his in ear. He was replying before he could even really think about it.

“Yeah, shit yeah, dude. I mean, you heard how much I enjoyed it, right?”

Jonny just smirked, toying with his controller, and Kaner decided to press.

“Did you? Did you get off after we hung up?”

That got rid of the smirk pretty quick. Jonny’s face went blank, and he looked away, staring up at the ceiling and fiddling with the controller. Kaner grinned. “Yeah, you did. Thinking about me?”

Jonny looked pained, like it hurt him to admit it, but he nodded. “Yeah.”

“Thinking about me with those guys?”

Jonny’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he said flatly. “No - I don’t wanna hear anything about the other guys, got it?”

Kaner’s throat went a little dry at that, at the possessive edge in Jonny’s voice. He was so weird, Kaner had no idea why the fact that he was a control freak was so hot. “Jealous?” he said, licking his lips.

Jonny watched his mouth. “Maybe,” he said evasively, and Kaner couldn’t even think.

“God, Jonny...” he moved closer on the couch, dropping his controller on the floor. “C’mon, we can.”

Jonny stared for a second, and then reached out and gripped the back of Kaner’s neck, right at the base of his skull. Kaner couldn’t hide the way it made him shiver.

“You want this?” Jonny said, shaking him just a little. His eyes were dark and big, and Kaner felt a little bit like a rabbit or something caught in the headlights of his weirdly intense stare.

“Yeah, fuck yes, I told you - “

“With me?” Jonny added. “You want this with me?” He squeezed harder, and yeah, Kaner was so into that.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you like all kinds of kinky shit in bed, huh, Jonny,” he said, smiling a little.

Jonny smiled back, just a small twist of his lips. “As if wanting to fuck you wasn’t kinky enough,” he said dryly, and Kaner had to close his eyes, so turned on he felt a bit dizzy and out of it.

“So you do. You do wanna fuck me,” he said in a voice that was already embarrassingly breathy and fucked up.

“Well, I’m not perfect,” Jonny said, still smiling like it was supposed to be a joke. But his voice was pretty fucked up as well, and Kaner didn’t think he was as unaffected as he was pretending to be.

“How long?” he asked. “Why didn’t you try anything?”

Jonny shrugged. “A little while, I guess.” His eyes darkened. “I thought you were straight. I would have - fuck.” He squeezed Kaner’s neck again, harder, and Kaner felt it all through his body. “I hate that you fuck around with other guys like that, you know?”

Yeah,” Kaner said, lightheaded, because he knew exactly what kind of weird possessive psycho Jonny could be about his friends. But who gave a fuck, because God, he looked so good, why hadn’t Kaner ever really appreciated how good he could look? Eyes all hard and jaw set, staring at him with that weird Tazer-intensity that made Kaner want to squirm. Fuck. He didn’t know how they’d gotten there, what the fuck they were doing, but again, he didn’t care. It was awesome. Everything was awesome.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” Jonny said, and Kaner almost slid off the couch.

“...yeah,” he agreed, and then Jonny pulled him forward and pressed their mouths together, kissing him gently. Kaner almost started crying with how amazing it was, Jonny’s stupid dry lips against his, the smell of him, like fabric softener and orange juice and the three Skittles each he’d allowed them to have.

Jonny pulled back way too quickly, though, and looked back into Kaner’s eyes. “Still yeah?” he asked, almost like - shit, almost like he was unsure of himself. Insane.

Kaner licked his lips, tasted Jonny and did it again. “I don’t know how to make it any more obvious,” he said slowly, “That I want you to fuckin’ bang me into the couch right now, man.”

Jonny groaned and let his eyes fall shut at that, and Kaner felt a little thrill of victory before Jonny was pulling him back in roughly. This kiss was harder; Jonny took his time completely fucking Kaner up, licking into his mouth, gripping his jaw to keep him right where Jonny wanted him, basically just taking ownership. Kaner wasn’t sure if he’d ever been kissed like that before, couldn’t remember ever being so turned on just from making out. Jonny leaned back into the corner of the couch and stretched out his legs, pulling Kaner in after him and  keeping him pressed up tight to Jonny’s chest. Kaner gripped his shoulders and kissed back, trying to figure out what he had to say or do to make it never, ever end. So obviously, that was when Jonny decided to stop.

“What?” Kaner asked vaguely, trying to lean in for more. He was hard as fuck, and he could feel Jonny was too, and it seemed really easy and natural to just push against him, try to get some friction. He had no idea why Jonny was stopping them, why he was pushing Kaner away. The guy was insane.

“I’m not,” Jonny’s voice was so low and rough that he had to stop and clear his throat before starting again. “I’m not fucking you.”

Kaner blinked at him. “What, ever?”

Jonny rolled his eyes. His lips were red and wet, and it was driving Kaner completely out of his fucking mind.

“You pick up guys in bars,” Jonny said, still in that deep, harsh voice. “You fucking suck guys off in alleyways, you - shit, I don’t even know what you do, Kaner.”

Kaner swallowed hard and tried to meet Jonny’s gaze. “I don’t - for someone who doesn’t wanna talk about it, Jonny, you’re kind of obsessed here.”

Jonny ignored him.

“You’re so easy,” he said, breathing it in Kaner’s ear and making him shudder. “Easy for random guys, I just - I can’t be like that.”

Kaner frowned. Jonny was literally a crazy person.

“Tazer, come on - ”

“I’m not a random guy in a bar,” Jonny continued over him. “Okay?”

Kaner didn’t even know how to react to that.

“No? You. You’re my best friend.” And he figured that was enough reassurance or hand-holding or whatever, and tried to lean in and kiss Jonny again. He got their mouths back together for a few seconds, and he could tell Jonny was tempted to give in, but the levels of Jonny’s self-denial were a constant source of wonder to everyone. Jonny pulled back again, wrenching away with a little groan.

No,” he said. “I don’t.” He paused, and leveled the crazy-eyes back on Kaner’s face. “I don’t want you to be easy for me,” he said, all in a rush.

Kaner had no idea how he was supposed to respond. His head was spinning from the mixed signals, he should have known that hooking up with Jonny would involve a lot of hard work and effort and - oh. Wait.

“Are you saying you want to work for it?” he asked Jonny incredulously, slumping back onto his side of the couch. “I’m not the Stanley Cup, man.”

“Obviously,” Jonny snorted, and started taking, like, deep, calming yoga breaths or whatever, like he was mentally willing himself not to be turned on. What a weirdo.

“So what,” Kaner said. “You do wanna get me chocolates and flowers? You wanna take me out on a dinner date?”

Jonny shrugged. “Has anyone ever taken you out on a real dinner date before?” he asked, like that was a perfectly normal question.

Kaner shook his head slowly. “Uh, no.”

And Jonny just smiled at him, bright and sharp. It didn’t do much to hide the crazy eyes. “Great. I’ll pick you up at seven. Now get out of my house.”


Kaner decided to run the long way back home, too. It was either that or go and drown himself in the lake, or maybe just lean against Jonny’s door for the next six hours begging him to let him back in and fuck him.

The run home was basically as bad, but at least it sucked so much his hard-on went away.


Jonny showed up at Kaner’s door that night at ten to seven, because he was a dick, and Kaner was vaguely relieved to see that he didn’t have any chocolates or flowers on his person.

When he mentioned it, though, Jonny made a face at him. “It’s really not about that,” he said, and when Kaner opened his mouth to ask exactly what the fuck it was about, Jonny grabbed him, slammed him up against the nearest wall, and kissed him hard enough to hurt. Which was a pretty effective way of shutting Kaner up.

He wrapped his arms around Jonny’s waist as he kissed back, and was just sneaking his hands down to grope his ass when Jonny stopped. He took half a step back and planted his hands on the wall on either side of Kaner’s head, boxing him in.

Kaner tried not to show how much he liked it, but couldn’t help licking his lips as he blinked up at Jonny’s face. “Jesus, what?”

“Had you ever had phone sex before last night?” Jonny asked randomly, cheeks red, and Kaner frowned, chasing after the conversation thread.

“No. But I mean, that wasn’t really actual phone sex dude. It doesn’t count.”

Jonny frowned back, eyes narrowing dangerously. “You said it was good,” he mumbled, put out, and Kaner sighed.

“It was, I got off so hard. I told you.” He tried to pull Jonny back close. “Come on, fuck me. Screw dinner, let’s just...” Jonny wasn’t moving, though, and Kaner gave up. “Fine, all right. Put in your work, wine me and dine me, whatever.”

Jonny ducked his head and bit Kaner’s jaw, just under his ear, like that wasn’t a completely weird thing to do. “It’s really not that hard work,” he said roughly, “When I know I could bend you over the kitchen table right now and fuck you till you cried.”

Kaner shuddered and yeah, he was hard as fuck and yeah, Jonny could. “I wouldn’t cry,” he said weakly, pressing his face against Jonny’s, completely uncoordinated. “Asshole.”

Jonny just grinned, patting him lightly on the cheek. “Let’s go. We’ve got reservations.”


Jonny took him to a fancy Spanish restaurant, the kind of place where they brought out about fifty-three different dishes to share and you got full before you’d even sampled half of them. It wasn’t exactly in their diet, but Kaner liked to live dangerously, and Jonny let himself have one fancy meal a month, and he’d probably skipped like the last three. So they were both pretty okay with it.

And Jonny did order them wine, but Kaner figured that was just mostly him being a tool on purpose. Neither of them liked it anyway, so they just had a glass each and stuck to weird Spanish beer after that, which they did like. The conversation was easy and natural, and Jonny was laughing a lot and Kaner suddenly - out of nowhere - realized he was having a really good time.

It shouldn’t have been strange, it wasn’t like they’d never eaten a meal together before, but he’d be kidding himself if he didn’t acknowledge that they’d crossed a line. He could still feel the bite mark on his jaw, for one.

“Did you like the chorizo?” Jonny asked when they were done eating, leaning back in his chair and looking a little smug.

“Fancy sausage stuff, right?” Kaner asked, and then laughed at the look Jonny gave him. “Yeah it was good, but I liked the baby octopus better.” And then he got to feel smug about being more cultured and adventurous than Jonny for a change, because Jonny had refused to touch the stuff.

Jonny just made a face, apparently still offended by the idea of suckers and tentacles, and took another pull of his beer. “Enjoy yourself?” he asked, and did an almost perfect job of not sounding slightly anxious about it.

Kaner grinned and kicked him under the table.

“Had a blast, man,” he said honestly, and couldn’t stop himself from adding, “So you gonna put out or what?”

But Jonny just smirked at him, and asked a passing waiter for the bill.


Jonny drove Kaner home, and walked him to his door. Right up until the last second Kaner let himself believe that Jonny was gonna actually come inside with him.

He didn’t.

“I’ll call you when I get home,” he said instead, crowding Kaner up against the door frame. “Okay?”

“Just come in,” Kaner whined. “God.”

“No.” Jonny kissed him, and it wasn’t a chaste good night kind of kiss. It was definitely an ‘I’m gonna slam you so hard you won’t walk for a week’ kind of kiss. Filthy cocktease.

“So what happened,” Kaner asked breathlessly when they broke apart, “to ‘oh, Kaner, you’re so horrible, even thinking about your dick is beneath me, you disgust me by even existing...’” He could have gone on, but Jonny had that bored, superior look on his face that was kind of exactly what Kaner was talking about.

“Still all that,” Jonny said. “Why do you think I won’t fuck you?”

And Kaner’s mouth dropped open, but then Jonny was kind of laughing and oh. Asshole.

“Fuck you, you know how bad you want my dick,” he said stupidly.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you in a bit,” Jonny said, and started to walk away, leaving Kaner slumped up against his door.

“Oh, and Kaner?” Jonny turned, walking backwards towards the elevator and grinning. “Don’t jerk off.”


Kaner had a quick shower in the time it took Jonny to get back to his place, resolutely ignoring the semi he was sporting because he was pretty sure he knew what Jonny had in mind. There was exactly one person in the world who would turn phone sex into a competitive sport, and Kaner had a hard on for him. Fucking figured.

His phone rang not long after he’d settled into bed, skin still warm from the shower. He answered with a grin.

“Kane’s house of cock, all your fantasies come true for only $6.99 a minute!”

Jonny didn’t sound particularly amused. “Nice, Patrick. What if I’d been your mother?”

“Caller ID, fucktard,” Kaner replied easily. “And don’t call me Patrick.”

Jonny groaned. “Holy shit you’re difficult,” he muttered in exasperation. “Why do I even-”

“Difficult? I thought I was super-easy or whatever,” Kaner interrupted. “Which is it?”

“Both,” Jonny said darkly. “Look, you wanna do this or not?”

“Do what, Jonny?” Kaner asked as innocently as possible, and then thought he’d maybe gone too far when Jonny was silent for a moment. “Jonny?”

“Why wasn’t it actual phone sex last night?” Jonny asked abruptly, and Kaner blinked.


“You said it didn’t count. Why not?”

Kaner shrugged, picking at his blankets. “I dunno, I’m not an expert or anything. But I mean, it was basically me jerking off while you sat there on your end being pissed off at me, right?”

“So?” Jonny asked, like he was offended that Kaner could possibly argue that that wasn’t the absolute fucking definition of what phone sex should be.

Kaner rolled his eyes. “So, I figured phone sex was more about...” he felt a little awkward. “You know, describing what we’re doing and, like, fantasies and stuff.” Kaner hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d never actually had phone sex, though. It was probably pretty obvious that he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.

“Right,” Jonny said blandly. “Okay, then. So what are you doing right now?”

Oh, it was starting, okay. Kaner could be down with that.

“I’m in bed,” he said. “I just got out of the shower.”

“Are you naked, or...?”

Kaner wiggled out of his boxers before Jonny could even finish asking.

“Yeah, Jonny. Are - are you?”

“Yep,” Jonny said matter of factly, and it wasn’t sexy, Jesus, so why did it make Kaner’s breath catch? “Are you hard yet?”

“Uh, on my way,” Kaner said. Jonny was gonna be so bad at this, his voice just wasn’t designed for phone sex. Somehow, Kaner was super fucking into it anyway. “Keep talking.”

“Touch yourself,” Jonny ordered. “Slow - slowly, okay?”

“Okay.” Kaner’s voice had already gone kind of breathy and stupid. It was pretty embarrassing, but not enough to make him even think about stopping. He slid his hand down his stomach and rubbed it over his thigh a couple of times before palming his dick, moaning into the phone so Jonny could hear.

“Christ, Kaner.” Jonny’s voice was even deeper than usual, dirty and rough around the edges. “Tell me.”

“I’ve got my hand on my cock now,” Kaner said, stroking himself slowly, keeping his touch light. “Feels awesome.”

“Me too,” Jonny replied, and Kaner closed his eyes, trying to picture it.

Describe it, Jonny.”

Jonny hesitated for just a second before continuing. “I’m all - I’m on top of my covers, stretched out. I’ve got one, one knee bent and my cock’s so hard, Pat.”

“Fuck,” Kaner groaned, because all of a sudden there was a porno playing in his head, he could see Jonny, picture what he was doing so clearly. “Shit, Tazer. Tell me what you wanna do to me.” And that tactic hadn’t worked so well the day before, but a lot had changed since then, and Jonny was apparently trying to prove a point.

Kaner was so okay with that. He’d never seen this side of him, shit, he hadn’t even known it existed. It was awesome.

“I wanna see you,” Jonny said, voice strained. “If I’d come in with you tonight... I think this is what I’d wanna do.”

“Watch?” Kaner asked. “Watch me doing this?” Fuck, that was so ridiculously hot. He stroked his dick harder, faster, imagining that Jonny could see it.

“Yeah, tell me what, tell me.”

“I’m not going slow anymore, man,” Kaner gasped. “I got my legs open, you could see everything. See how hard I am, see how my cock’s fucking dripping for you.”

“Shit,” Jonny breathed out. “I’d make you come for me, Pat. You ever done that? Jerk off for someone, get yourself to come while they watched?”

“No,” Kaner moaned, eyes squeezed tight. “I’d do it for you.”

“Yeah, you would. And when you’d finished, when you’d come all over yourself in front of me... maybe then I’d think about fucking you.”

“I’d let you,” Kaner said, feeling a little desperate. “I’ve never - but you could, Jonny, you could fuck me.”

There was silence on the other end for a minute, nothing but Jonny’s rough breathing.

What?” he snapped, sounding annoyed, his voice even more fucked up

Kaner frowned. “What, what?”

“You’ve really never been fucked? I thought...”

Oh, right. Trust Jonny to be hung up on that. “Nah man,” Kaner said, smiling to himself. “See, I’m not that easy after all, huh?”

Kaner wasn’t super close, but he was getting there. He wanted to get back to the dirty talk, which - yeah, obviously he’d been wrong about Jonny being bad at that. Fucking typical.

“So I’d be the first...” Jonny said, sounding absolutely destroyed, like he was suddenly way closer to coming than Kaner.

And Kaner was finally starting to figure something out.

“You’d be the first,” he agreed. “No one’s ever gotten in me like that. I’ve sucked cock and I’ve jerked guys off - shit, I even fucked a guy, once - but I’ve never taken it.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t think I’d be into it,” Kaner said, which was a lie. He was pretty sure he’d be into it, he’d just never had the right opportunity. But he liked where he had Jonny, liked being responsible for the way Jonny was falling apart.

“But you’d make me like it, right, Jonny?”Kaner went on, pressing his cheek to the pillow as he stripped his cock, his hand all sticky-wet with precome. “Make me take it and love it, ask for more?”


Yeah, Kaner was close now, getting off partly on what he was saying, partly on the way Jonny was about to blow his load all for him.

“Close, Jonny? Do it. Next time you can come in my ass - “

“Pat, Patrick, fuck.”

Kaner held his breath and listened to Jonny come, groaning hard like he was working out, lifting weights while Kaner spotted him. Kaner had heard that sound so many times, and he never knew, never realized...

“Talk to me,” he gasped. “Let me hear it.”

“Feels so good, fuck. Got it all over me, want - wanna see what it looks like on you, in you.”

Kaner actually had to take a second to process that, the fucking sheer heat of it. “That’s fucking filthy, Jonny,” he said, kind of in awe. His cock was dripping a steady stream of precome, and he used it to slick himself up, tried to imagine how it would feel if it was Jonny’s spit or come making him wet like that. “Filthy.”

“You’re so into it.” Jonny sounded pretty smug for someone who had just come his brains out while admitting he wanted to have sex with Kaner.

“Yeah, I’m into it,” Kaner said, shameless. “Don’t stop.” Now that he’d gotten Jonny off he was pretty invested in coming himself. Like, as soon as fucking possible.

Obviously, Jonny chose that moment to get all awkward and tongue tied, like he really had come his actual brains out.

“I, uh,” he started, sounding like he’d just run a marathon. “What do you want?”

“Fuck, I don’t care. You know how hot this is? I’m close, I wanna, just get me off, Jonny.”

Jonny paused, just for a second, but when he started talking again his voice was hard and smooth, determined, and Kaner knew he was pretty much screwed.

“I’m gonna fuck you open, Pat,” he said, the words going straight to Kaner’s dick.  “Gonna fuck my cock into you while you just lie there and take it. Gonna make you beg for more, tell me how much you love it.”

Kaner bit his lip, let Jonny’s stupid, horrible, perfect voice fill him up and take him over. “Oh, yeah.”

“You’re gonna come for me, Pat,” Jonny said, like it was an order that Kaner had no choice but to obey. “For me. Say it.”

And who knew how much that would work for Kaner? It - it was way beyond anything he’d ever done before, but he went with it willingly, moaned Jonny’s name as he finally exploded.

“Good.” Jonny’s voice was harsh, rough. “That’s good, Kaner.”

And it was, so good, to have Jonny’s permission, his approval. It was pretty kinky, but Kaner felt too amazing to care. He looked down at the the come all over his stomach and thought ‘Jonny put that there,’ and it felt so fucking awesome, was so strangely hot, that he was happy to ignore any deeper meanings in all of it. He’d basically just had the best sex of his life, over the phone, with his best friend. It was already weird enough.

He let himself sink into the mattress, fighting to catch his breath and get his head back together. It was a minute before he could even speak.

“Fuck you,” was the first thing he said when he could, because seriously.

“What?” Jonny asked, offended.

Kaner started looking around for something to clean himself off with. “Phone sex isn’t a competition, you dick,” he said, reaching off the bed with one foot and snagging up a sock with his toes.

“Oh, right.” Jonny laughed. “But if it was, I would have won.”

“Whatever, you came first.” Kaner wiped himself clean, then tossed the sock in the direction of his hamper before climbing under the sheets. “That probably means I won.”

“I think it’s the quality of the orgasm that counts,” Jonny replied thoughtfully, like he was actually trying to figure out how to score it. Kaner rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, you came crazy hard. Don’t try and deny it.”

Jonny hummed noncommittally and then groaned. “I gotta go take a shower,” he said. “You should get some sleep. Skate in the morning.”

Kaner was already on his way. He leaned over and clicked off his lamp before nestling into his pillow and taking one last opportunity to fuck with his captain.

“It’s optional skate,” he whined. “Optional means it’s an option.”

“So I’ll see you in the morning. Want me to pick you up?”

No.” Kaner paused. “Are you always like this?”

Kaner heard the shower start on Jonny’s end. “Like what?”

“You know. You’re so... you in bed.”

“You don’t know what I’m like in bed, Kaner,” Jonny said dryly. Kaner pictured the bathroom filling up with steam, Jonny standing there naked, still splattered with come. He swallowed.

“Wanna find out,” he mumbled. “Let’s do this thing, motherfucker.”

“Well, how can I resist when you put it like that?” Jonny laughed softly, and Kaner smiled. “Go to sleep, Patrick. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kaner yawned. “Yeah, okay. Night, Tazer.”


Kaner thumbed off his phone and let it drop to the floor next to his bed. He fell asleep in about five minutes flat, thinking about Jonny in the shower, and Jonny ordering him to come and Jonny...

Just Jonny.


They didn’t really talk about it at practice the next day, but it wasn’t weird or anything. Jonny was just getting his captain on. He and the coaches seemed pretty determined to grind them all into the ice, and Kaner was too busy feeling the burn in his lungs to worry about much else.

It was good, though, it was what he lived for. Passes slotting perfectly into place, drills coming together seamlessly. None of the other shit mattered when he was playing, nothing but the puck and the team, and Jonny was part of that like he always had been.

He was a little relieved that nothing had changed, but not really surprised. Hockey was hockey. Everything else, even the bizarre gay affair he might be having with his captain, took second place.

This was cemented when Kaner called Jonny a moron after he shot a pass way wide, sending the puck bouncing off a surprised Kruger’s shin pad. Jonny gave him a quick, relieved smile before biting back, and then it was on, the two of them getting into it exactly the same as always. Toe to toe on the ice, faces red, teammates not sure whether to laugh at or separate them...

Yeah, Kaner was pretty sure everything was gonna be awesome.

After the skate, when half the guys had filed out and the other half were still busy whining about how hard it had been, Kaner parked himself next to Jonny and gave him a bright grin.

“What,” Jonny said blankly, barely bothering to look up from his phone. He was sending his sixty-third text of the day, which, who was he even talking to? Everyone he knew was there.

“So I was thinking,” Kaner started, and Jonny smiled.

“Good for you, buddy,” he said, really genuinely and sincerely, like he was honestly happy at that turn of events. Kaner made a face at him before going on.

“I’ve never been on a picnic,” he said, and that tore Jonny away from his phone all right.

“You’ve what?”

Kaner shrugged. “I’ve never been on, like, a stereotypical picnic. With a blanket and a basket and,” he tried to think of what people did on picnics. “And frisbee.”

“Frisbee,” Jonny repeated blankly. “Okay?”

“Yeah, so.” Kaner tossed his water bottle from hand to hand and waited for Jonny to get there on his own.

“You saying you want me to take you on a picnic?” He sounded a little dubious.

Kaner snorted, and took a quick glance around before leaning in close to whisper in Jonny’s ear.

No, Tazer. I’m saying I want you to take me back to your place and fuck the absolute shit out of me.” He sat back and had to laugh at the look on Jonny’s face. “But both would be fun, I guess.”

Jonny turned back to his phone, hitting a button and slipping it into his pocket before looking back up at Kaner.

“Well,” he said, cheeks just a little pink. “I’m not gonna take you on a picnic.”

Kaner’s mouth fell open, a spark of lust shooting right through him as he looked up into Jonny’s eyes. He had no idea when he’d started wanting this so badly, when he’d started thinking it was maybe something he could have. No idea why he hadn’t realized sooner. All the years he’d known Jonny he must have either been blind or stupid because this - this was -

“So should I meet you at your place or what?” he blurted out, brain completely short-circuiting.

Jonny looked at him thoughtfully. “No,” he said. “Not yet.”

Kaner groaned. “What, seriously?”

“Seriously.” Jonny nodded, and started packing up the last of his shit. “Call me later.”

“Maybe I will start charging,” Kaner told him sourly. “Dickhead.”

“I love it when you sweet-talk me like that.” Jonny gave him a quick, sharp grin, and then he was going, heading towards the door. Kaner couldn’t believe that he was seriously not getting laid again.

He waited until Jonny had walked out, chatting away to Hammer, and then grabbed for his phone, dialing Jonny’s number.

“What do you want?”

“What are you wearing, baby?” Kaner said in his best sexy voice, ignoring the startled looks from Sharpy and Seabs.

Unsurprisingly, Jonny just laughed at him. “You’re such a fucking tool,” he said, sounding amused. “Try again tonight.”

Kaner heaved a huge sigh. “Jonny. How the fuck can I wait until tonight when I want your ass so bad right now?”

Sharpy and Seabs started laughing, trying to to listen in, and Kaner grinned at them.

And then Jonny dropped his voice and replied. “My ass? I don’t think so. But later tonight I want you to feel free to go home and fuck yourself as hard as you want.”

“Jesus, Tazer.”

“Just as long as you’re prepared to give me details.”

Kaner seriously hoped Jonny wasn’t still walking next to Hammer.

“Fine, you win this round,” he mumbled, and disconnected the call to the sound of Jonny chuckling at him.

Sharpy reached out and clapped him on the shoulder. “Did you just get denied by Captain Serious?” he asked, and Kaner rolled his eyes.

“He just won’t fucking put out,” he said, miserably and sincerely. Whatever. Sharpy and Seabs didn’t need to know he wasn’t joking.

“Try flowers,” Sharpy suggested sagely, grinning like a dick.

“Or chocolates,” Seabs added, and Kaner kind of wanted to die a little bit.

“He probably only eats carob,” he said. “Because he’s a total fucking loser.”

“I like carob,” Duncs piped up from the other side of Seabs, and from there it devolved into a general conversation about how fucking lame that was, and Kaner was almost distracted from the horrible thought that he was probably going to fuck himself over the phone that night for Jonny’s exclusive pleasure.

And probably really fucking enjoy it, too.


“Keep this Saturday afternoon free.”

“Why?” Kaner was in bed again, freshly showered and thrumming with nervous anticipation. It would have been better - obviously - if Jonny was actually there with him and not just a voice on the phone, but he couldn’t deny how into it he was. It was so - it was weird, and he wanted to get back to the actual making out and hooking up, but he’d never done anything like it before. It was weird, but was it was definitely awesome.

“We’ll go out.” Jonny was saying, mumble in full force. “We’ll have a picnic.”

And Jonny was obviously trying to say it like it was the most natural thing in the world for them to do, and something in Kaner’s heart twisted, something deep and nameless. He felt a smile stretch across his face.

“You're really taking me on a picnic?” he asked stupidly. “That’s insane, man.” He felt - it was better than the phone sex, it was better than being held against the wall and kissed. Which was fucking dumb, because both of those things were pretty great.

“Not that insane,” Jonny said lightly. “It’ll be fun.”

“Frisbee?” Kaner was maybe a little giddy. “BBQ?”

“If you want,” Jonny replied agreeably, and Kaner’s cheeks were starting to hurt from grinning.

“You know you don’t have to, you know I’ll...” Kaner couldn’t figure out a way to say ‘You know I’ll let you stick it in without all this effort,’ without, like, ruining the mood.

“Yeah, I know,” Jonny said, and then laughed softly. “I almost drove over tonight. I wanted to so bad.”

“So why didn’t you?” Kaner was honestly curious. It wasn’t just about wanting to get laid or Jonny cockblocking just to be a tool. It was obvious that they were both into this, so why wouldn’t he? He knew Jonny had issues, and wanting to bang Kaner was probably a pretty huge one, but what they’d done already - the phone sex, the kissing - had probably already pushed them over a pretty important line. Actual sex couldn’t be that much worse. Kaner was of the opinion that things could only get better.

Because it was like over the past few days he’d been hit over the head with how awesome Jonny could be, how easy it could be to want him. And now he wanted more of that. And yeah, he was well aware of the fact that sex...well, that sex was sex. He wasn’t gonna expect any more from Jonny than what Jonny obviously wanted to give him. But shit, he’d take what he could get.

“Come on, man,” he went on when Jonny didn’t reply. “How bad in bed can I be?” He tried to make a joke out of it to hide the little bit of hurt. Which was stupid, because Jonny made him stupid, but whatever.

“Well, you’ve had plenty of practice.” And Jonny actually sounded bitter about that, which was still so damned weird to Kaner. He got that Jonny was possessive and strange, but he didn’t get why he was being so possessive and strange about Kaner, like he was a pair of skates, and Jonny was annoyed that someone else had broken him in. So weird.

“You actually are jealous, aren’t you?” he said with a little smile. “Anyway, I haven’t had that much practice. I’m not exactly Stals over here, you know? There’s so much I haven’t done.”

“Like what?” Jonny asked intensely. Kaner got the feeling they were heading into the hot part of the conversation, which - yeah, he was okay with that, even though Jonny still hadn’t given him any answers and was still basically a giant self-denying weirdo.

“Like plenty. I’ve never been fucked, I’ve never spent a whole night with a guy.” He thought about it. It was actually pretty depressing. “I’ve never had sex with a guy in a bed. I've never blown a guy while, you know, one hundred per cent sober.”

Jonny snorted, but Kaner would have bet a lot of money that he’d started jerking off already. He lowered his voice and reached down to start palming his own dick. “I’ve never been rimmed, I’ve-”

“Have you ever done it to anyone else?” Jonny interrupted. Kaner squeezed his dick and closed his eyes.


“Would you?”

Fuck, Kaner was turned on, it was like Jonny could just flick a switch and Kaner was there, so ready for it. He groaned a little, started stroking his cock hard.

“Depends - depends who was asking,” he breathed out, licking his lips.

I’m fucking asking, Kaner,” Jonny snapped, and Kaner’s cock gave up a little spurt of precome. It felt so fucking good, it was insane.

“Fuck, Tazer, I’d do any fucking thing you asked me to right now,” he said honestly. “You get that, right?”

“You’re such a slut,” Jonny groaned, and yeah, okay, if that was what Jonny wanted, then sure.

“Yeah? I’m jerking off for you, I’m ready to fuck my own fingers into myself, just for you, just cause you told me to.” Kaner slid his free hand down and palmed his balls. He hitched one knee up and spread his legs, imagining that Jonny was there, that Jonny was watching as he pushed his fingers lower. Just teasing at himself, too hesitant to actually really go for it, but loving that he was doing what Jonny had ordered. “Yeah, I’m a slut, Jonny,” he said, one finger rubbing over his ass, his breathing ragged. “Is that what you wanna hear?”

No,” Jonny sounded frustrated and turned on, and Kaner wished so bad that he could see his face. “No, it’s not - fuck you, Pat, just talk to me, just let me hear.”

“Oh, you wanna hear about how hard I am, man? How I’m doing exactly what you wanted me to do? Or about how fucking close I came to jerking off in the shower thinking about you, about getting on my knees for you and showing you how good I am at sucking cock?”

Kaner was pretty close, already, even more ramped up than he he’d been the night before for some reason. It was like he was on a knife edge, and he’d been riding it all day, and the slightest push from Jonny was gonna send him toppling over.

“Fuck yes, your mouth, Pat.” Jonny sounded almost angry, and it was so stupidly hot. “I want your mouth, that’s what - I wanna make you take my dick, wanna choke you on it till I come down your throat and I’m all you can taste.”

And yeah, just like that, Kaner was coming. It was instantaneous, he just crashed into his orgasm, moaning unashamed into the phone so Jonny could hear exactly what his words were doing to Kaner.

Jonny,” he almost sobbed, jerking his cock roughly, pumping out his come in hot pulses. “Want you so bad.”

And that was apparently all Jonny needed to hear, because then he was right there with him, and Kaner got to listen to him make that noise again, that soft, hard little grunt that was pretty much the hottest sound in the world.

They didn’t speak for a little while after they came. Kaner was happy just to lie there with his eyes closed, listening to Jonny’s breaths slowly even out. It was nice, kind of, but it could have been better.

“So like,” Kaner said eventually, rubbing a hand over his face. “So are we ever going to talk about this, man?”

“Hmmm,” Jonny said thoughtfully, and it sounded like a no to Kaner.

“Come on, we’ve got to eventually.” He sighed. “Do I need to make you a chart or a diagram or something to illustrate how fucking up for all this I am?”

Jonny laughed. “No, Kaner. I think I get it.”

“So what’s the holdup?” Kaner didn’t want to sound like he was desperate, or whining, but he was kind of both. He just didn’t know what Jonny’s problem was. He obviously wanted to fuck Kaner, and Kaner... that was just the start of what Kaner wanted. It wasn’t exactly rocket science.

“Did you even think about this before you eavesdropped on me and Tim?” Jonny asked then, and Kaner made a face.

“I didn’t eavesdrop, you tool. You forgot I was coming over and let me hear.”

“Whatever,” Jonny said like it wasn’t important, which was his standard response to being wrong in any way. “Did you ever jerk off thinking about me?”

And Kaner had, of course. Jonny was pretty hot in his dumb, obvious, Canadian way, and Kaner had recognized that even before he’d found out about the mouth he had on him. But he’d never - it had been innocent, as far as those things went. It wasn’t like he’d ever thought he and Jonny could be a thing, so he hadn’t looked too hard at him like that. If he’d known, things would have been different.

Things were different now. The attraction had already been there, and now all of this... It was so easy to reconcile his best friend and teammate and captain with this new Jonny, the sexy one with the dirty mouth and the desire to like, slam Kaner into something hard. The whole package was pretty damned tempting and also, Kaner wanted to be slammed.

He was starting to want a lot.

But he didn’t know how to explain all of that to Jonny without making it sound like some shitty declaration of love or whatever, so.

“Yeah, I jerked out a few, man,” he said slowly, thinking it out. “But never, you know, seriously.”

“What does that mean?” Jonny had his toneless mumble intensified by about a hundred, so Kaner knew he needed to tread carefully.

“Dude, as far as I knew you were straight, and you’re my friend, okay? So I got off thinking about your ass or whatever, but I never actually thought you’d look at me like that.” He shrugged. “I never let myself really imagine it.” I’m imagining it now, though, he added in his head. Come over, we’ll get into it...

“Patrick,” Jonny sighed, and Kaner didn’t even complain about the name, because Jonny sounded kind of serious and sad and Kaner didn’t know why.

“Tell me what I need to do, Jonny,” he said quietly. “You’re my best friend. That - our relationship doesn’t need to change just because we’re into each other’s dicks now. Nothing has to be different.”

Jonny just sighed again, and Kaner chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if he’d said the right thing, the magic words that would let them have this.

“Kaner, I want - I -” Jonny was stammering, tripping over his words, and Kaner just waited for him to work it out. Whatever he was trying to say was important, or he wouldn’t be saying it at all.

In the end, though, Jonny seemed to change tack.

“We’ll go to the park on Saturday,” he said. “We’ll end up taking a million pictures with fans, but it’ll be good.” He drew in a deep breath. “We can take it from there, okay?”

“Putting in so much fucking effort for me.” Kaner smiled, because if Jonny needed to change the subject and not be pushed, Kaner would be decent enough to go along with it. For now. “I’m so flattered.”

“You fucking should be,” Jonny grumbled, and Kaner thought they’d passed whatever weird bump in the road that was. He still had questions - lots of them - but they could wait. After all, Jonny was still Jonny. Kaner could figure the rest out as he went.

“Do I need to write you up a list of life experiences I’ve never had so you can cross them off one at a time?” he asked, hauling himself out of bed and wiping off his stomach with a T-shirt. “I could do that.”

“I think I’ve already missed the important ones,” Jonny said as Kaner pulled on his boxers.

“I dunno, Jonny,” he said. “I mean, I’ve never even been in love.”

As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he froze, staring wide-eyed around his room in surprise at himself. Why had he - he had no idea why he was even thinking that, where that had even come from. “Or skydiving!” he added, practically yelling it into the phone. “Or dog sledding. Mongolian food! Teacup ride-”

“I’m hanging up, now,” Jonny cut in smoothly, his voice soft and amused. Kaner had never been so grateful for anything in his life.

“It’s probably for the best,” he agreed.

Jonny snorted. “Dust it off, Kaner,” he added, like a tool, and then there was nothing but dead air.

“Dust your mom off,” Kaner muttered at his phone, and then almost put on his come-stained T-shirt before he remembered what he’d just used it for.

It was probably, somehow, Jonny’s fault.


The rest of the week was pretty normal. He got himself invited to Sharpy’s for dinner and learned how to heat up a bottle and change a diaper. He also managed not to spend the whole night talking about Jonny, which was great.

He didn’t do so well on the phone to his sisters the next day, but whatever, they didn’t give a shit about Jonathan Toews anyway. All they cared about was Sharpy’s baby and whether or not any of the Swedes on the team were single yet (which two of them were, but Kaner always made up improbably hot European girlfriends for them because his sisters weren’t allowed to think about hockey players, ever).

“There are other people on your team besides Toews, you know,” Erica snapped when he tried to describe the sick shootout competition they’d had at practice that day. “What’s Kruger doing?”

“Having tons of sex with his Slovenian supermodel girlfriend, as far as I know,” Kaner lied. Kruger was single and lonely and completely off limits. Jesus. Who’d date a hockey player anyway, they were all assholes. “Aren’t any of you lesbians yet?”

None of them were, and that got him a three-pronged lecture about gender expectations and binarity something something and double standards, whatever, he’d tuned out and started thinking about Jonny three minutes in.

He’d seen Jonny, obviously, a few times. At practice and at a radio thing they had to do together. Everything was normal, everything was fine. Well, maybe they’d looked at each other a lot more than usual, that was different. Kaner was intensely aware of Jonny’s eyes on him, and if he was being honest with himself, he fucking loved it. He’d always liked being watched and wanted, but this was Jonny and that made it something else.

And he was definitely doing some watching and wanting of his own. He thought about it all the time, about how great it was gonna be when Jonny got over his stupid hangups and they could finally get down to business. He kept catching himself fantasizing about, like... winning games on the road and then going back to the hotel room to fuck and eat room service and watch game footage of themselves being awesome. It sounded pretty fucking perfect to Kaner.

He needed to tamp that shit down though, obviously. It wasn’t like Jonny had proposed to him or anything, he just wanted - insanely - for them to hook up. And apparently part of that was making himself work for it, because Jonny thought that nothing worth having came without a lot of trouble and effort. There wasn’t any point reading too far into it. Yeah, Kaner wanted to be worth it, for sure, but he wasn’t about to start picking out curtains or whatever.

And if Jonny was getting all weirdly possessive and jealous about Kaner’s past hookups, well, that was just... Jonny, he guessed. Kaner wasn’t gonna get his hopes up. Why would he, anyway? It was only Jonathan fucking Toews.


They didn’t talk on the phone, or at least not the sexytimes talking Kaner was getting used to. They had a brief conversation on Thursday night about how hard they were gonna destroy the Canucks the next day. Kaner admitted that sometimes he imagined Kesler crying before a match to get himself amped up, but that just made Jonny laugh so hard that he almost started crying, so. Neither of them were in the mood, but it was cool.

Kaner jerked off alone anyway, before falling asleep, and mostly tried to think about Mila Kunis. Except then he ended up thinking about Mila Kunis being fucked by Jonny, so it wasn’t like he’d significantly changed up his masturbation theme for the week.

He was pretty fine with that, though.


They didn’t exactly destroy the Canucks and no one cried, but they did get the win and Kaner was always okay with that. It was a rough game, though. Kaner got taken to the boards hard more than once, plus he copped an elbow to the mouth that resulted in a fat lip and no penalty, so he was feeling pretty sore and sorry for himself when he slumped into the rink the next morning.

“You look like shit,” Jonny informed him, looking up from the bench when Kaner dumped his bag next to him. “Seriously.” Jonny, predictably, looked like he’d just strolled off the cover of ‘Awkwardly Attractive Canadians Weekly’ or something.

Kaner tongued at the cut on his lip, wrinkling his nose at the taste of dried blood. It hadn’t needed stitches or anything, but it’d opened up that morning while he was brushing his teeth and the toothpaste had stung like a motherfucker.

“I can’t believe that asshole didn’t get a penalty,” he said grumpily.

“Quit whining, it was obviously accidental,” Jonny said, which was true, but it wasn’t like Kaner cared.

“Your face is accidental,” he said. “Be on my side, Jesus.”

But Jonny was looking at him funny, looking at his mouth, and oh, really. Kaner smiled a little and swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. It still hurt, but the way Jonny was blushing was definitely worth it. Fucking figured he’d be into that, he loved seeing Kaner suffer. And Kaner was willing to take advantage of that fact.

He carefully dragged his lip through his teeth, wincing at the bright spark of pain but keeping his eyes fixed on Jonny’s face. His cheeks were dark red and his eyes were just dark as he bit his own lip in unconscious imitation. Kaner smirked.

“You could do this,” he said in a low voice. “You’re super into it, aren’t you?”

Jonny dragged his gaze up to meet Kaner’s. He looked almost guilty. “Yeah,” he said, voice rough. He cleared his throat and started to say something else, but Kaner interrupted him.

“That’s another thing I’ve never done,” he said, keeping eye contact. “That could be yours too.”

Jonny didn’t answer, just kept staring with his stupid open mouth and stupid red lips, and Kaner was starting to feel a little lightheaded with want before someone interrupted.

It was Shawzer, heading past them to his stall. “Are you two trying to read each other’s thoughts or something?” he asked, giving them a weird look. That made Duncs glance up and start talking about how he and Seabs had once spent a night trying to send each other psychic images, and then that turned into Sharpy putting in some brutal chirping that Kaner obviously felt compelled to contribute to, and then the mood was kind of broken.

Kaner had to wait a few minutes for his hard on to go away before he could get up and start changing, though.


Jonny caught up to him again later, when everyone was heading out. Kaner had just had a pretty sweet massage, which had kind of felt like getting slammed into the boards again but in a good way. He was still sore, but not so tight and stiff. The nice kind of sore.

“Hey, loser,” he said amiably as Jonny fell into step besides him.

“It’s too cold for a picnic,” Jonny said back, and it was like he was shocked and angered by the fact that Chicago hadn’t pulled a perfect sunny day out of nowhere just to coincide with Jonny’s plans.

Kaner hip checked him lightly. “We’ll rug up. It’ll be fine.”

“No.” Jonny frowned. “Come over to my place,” he mumbled at the floor, and Kaner faltered, a slow smile spreading over his face.


Jonny scowled at him. “Don’t get any ideas.”

Kaner raised his eyebrows. “Way too late for that, man.”

Jonny looked at him for a second, and then muscled him aside just as they reached the door so he got to go through first and Kaner had to follow. It was such a classically asshole Jonny thing to do that Kaner’s half-hearted semi went away. Almost.

“So should I go straight over?” he asked when he’d caught up in the parking garage.

Jonny shook his head. “Go home and put some ice on your mouth,” he said. “Come over at like, two.”

Kaner was vaguely disappointed that more hours were being put between him and Jonny getting it together, but he did kind of feel like taking a nap, so he wasn’t too broken up.

They reached his car first, and Kaner was about to wave Jonny off when suddenly he was grabbed and shoved up against his door, six foot two of douchey Canadian muscle all up in his space. The gloom of the garage and the size of Kaner’s obnoxiously large Hummer did a pretty effective job of hiding them, but Kaner was so turned on that he’d probably drop to his knees right there even if the entire conditioning staff were standing around grading them on performance.

“Tazer,” he groaned, hands going to Jonny’s waist and squeezing. “Jesus.”

“Have you thought of anyone else since - since we-” Jonny stumbled over his words, because he was awkward and strange, but Kaner got it.

“What? No, dude. I mean, I tried to jerk off thinking about Mila Kunis the other night.” Jonny’s expression went cloudy, and Kaner squeezed him harder. “But I just ended up thinking about you fucking her, man.”

Jonny leaned in and pressed his lips to Kaner’s ear. “I don’t want Mila fucking Kunis,” he said.

“Yeah I know, I...” Kaner trailed off as Jonny started kissing down his throat, lips and tongue fucking hot and wet and perfect. It was so awesome, shit, he’d wanted to get to it for days.

“Let me blow you,” he said desperately, a little stupid with lust. He had visions of trying to do it in his car, or going straight back inside and finding an empty room or something insane like that. “Let me, I’m so good at it, you’ll love it.”

Jonny made an angry noise and bit hard at Kaner’s neck. “I don’t want you to be good at it,” he muttered petulantly. Kaner grinned.

“I love how jealous you are,” he said, laughing. “Christ, Tazer, you wanna tattoo your name on my ass?”

“Hmm.” Jonny sounded like he was actually thinking about it. Kaner’s laughter died and he whimpered a little, closing his eyes.

“You’re a psycho,” he said breathlessly. “Let me go or I’ll come in my pants. And I’ve done that plenty of times, okay, there’s nothing new about that.”

Jonny snorted, but took a step back, pulling out of Kaner’s grip. “Why am I not surprised?”

Kaner could tell he was trying to sound all dry and unaffected, but he was flushed and shaky and also really obviously hard as fuck, so Kaner wasn’t fooled.

“I’ll see you at two,” Kaner said, and climbed into his car with as much dignity as he could manage. Which wasn’t a lot, considering he practically needed a stepladder to get up to his seat.

“See you then,” Jonny said faintly, looking up at him. And then he was gone, and Kaner had to drive home and try not to crash into anything stupid because Jonny, man. Fucking Jonny.


He showed up at Jonny’s at ten to two, and made himself walk around the block until he was five minutes late, just out of principal. Jonny just rolled his eyes when he answered the door.

“I have windows,” he said, shaking his head. “You could have just come in, it’s fucking cold outside.”

“It’s bracing,” Kaner countered. “You’re Canadian, why are you such a baby about the cold?”

“Shut up,” Jonny replied maturely, and grabbed Kaner’s coat, pulling him up close for one hell of a kiss, deep and slow and really, really sure. Kaner melted into it, letting Jonny press them against the wall. Jonny was warm, so warm after the chilly Chicago air, and his mouth was on fire as it opened Kaner up. Kaner just wrapped his arms around Jonny’s shoulders and tried to hang on, tried to let Jonny know - with his lips, with his tongue, with the press of his body - that he’d be happy if they never stopped, unless it was to go further.

“So, I said I was taking you on a picnic,” Jonny murmured after he eventually pulled away, leaving Kaner propped up against the wall fighting for breath. “And I am.”

Kaner shook his head. “Dude, it’s really not that big a deal. Seriously - I don’t even want to, okay, I just-”

“Well too bad,” Jonny interrupted, and walked off down the hall, jerking his head for Kaner to follow. Kaner sighed, almost tripping over his own feet as he trailed Jonny into the living room, because wow. Wow. Jonny was the best kind of insane.

All of Jonny’s furniture had been pushed up against the windows, leaving a big open space in the center of the room. And Jonny - incredibly - had spread a tartan blanket out over the cleared floor, with a wicker picnic basket sitting proudly in the middle. There was a stick of French bread sticking out of the top of it and everything. It was amazing.

“You belong in a mental hospital,” Kaner breathed out in awe. “Is that a fucking frisbee?"

“You’re not actually allowed to throw it in my apartment,” Jonny said, smiling. “It was just for the look of it.”

Kaner grinned helplessly. There was a pitcher of lemonade, and plastic cups, and whatever was in the basket smelled awesome.

He looked up at Jonny and rolled his eyes, still grinning. “It’s just me, you idiot,” he said. “I’m not...” he trailed off and felt his smile fade as a thought occurred to him, sour and mean. “You’re not, like, making fun of me, are you?” he asked uncertainly. Jonny had never actually been that actively mean to him, but then, he’d never been that actively nice to him either. Kaner thought back through the last week, the dinner, everything. It was a little involved to be just a prank, but he didn’t get why... Jonny could just be fucking with him, somehow, for some reason. He didn’t really doubt that Jonny was into his dick, because the kid had taste, but the rest of it seemed too - elaborate, too unbelievable. Kaner was used to trusting Jonny, but all this was way out of his realm of experience and he was starting to lose sight of the reality of the situation. Maybe Jonny was just having fun, making fun, seeing how far he could wind Kaner up...

One glance at Jonny’s face was enough to make him doubt that idea, though. His vaguely smug, self-satisfied expression had been replaced by one of such horror and hurt that Kaner was thrown into another loop, because it wasn’t the look of someone who was just doing all this for shits and giggles.

“Fuck you,” Jonny whispered. “No, fuck, just fuck you if you-”

“No, I know, I’m sorry,” Kaner cut in quickly, holding up his hands. “I just - Jesus, Jonny, it’s just me.”

Now Jonny mostly seemed uncomfortable. He shrugged and gazed steadily out the window at the grey sky, avoiding Kaner’s eye.

Kaner sighed and put a hand on Jonny’s arm. “No, I mean, you get it? It’s just me. We’ve known each other for years, okay, you’re my - you know. C’mon, Jonny.”

Jonny finally looked down at him, eyes blank and unreadable. “You like it, though,” he said carefully, not quite making it a question.

Now it was Kaner’s turn to shrug. “Well, yeah. But you don’t have to, like... win at dating me.”

That got a smile. “Dating you?” Jonny said, amused. “Is that what I’m doing?”

Kaner flushed. He didn’t know why he’d even said that. Fuck, that was embarrassing. Now Jonny probably was gonna make fun of him, and it’d be completely justified.

“Fuck off,” he muttered, rubbing at his cheek. “I dunno, you’re basically fucking insane, how am I supposed to know what you’re doing?”

“Shut up, Kaner,” Jonny said gently, and then they were kissing again, Jonny’s hand firm on the side of Kaner’s neck, his fingers spread out over Kaner’s jaw.

Kaner didn’t know how long they stood like that, next to the dorky, wonderful picnic blanket and stupid breadstick, just making out. It was slow and easy, like it hadn’t really been with them at all - it wasn’t leading anywhere, they weren’t desperate or angry or horny. Well, okay, Kaner was a little horny, but it wasn’t about that for a change. It was just, it was nice.

When they finally broke apart - Kaner’s hurt lip throbbing pleasantly - Kaner felt kind of hot and dizzy and stupid in a way that he couldn’t really understand. And also kind of overwhelmingly happy which, yeah, he could understand that one fine.

“Screw you,” he said to cover up his smile. “You can’t just kiss me to shut me up all the time.” All current evidence pointed to the contrary, obviously, but whatever.

Jonny was smiling too.

“I’m kissing you because I wanna kiss you, Jesus.” Jonny ducked in again, sliding his wet mouth over Kaner’s, sucking lightly on his bottom lip until Kaner’s knees almost buckled. “Shutting you up is just a bonus,” he added, laughing a little as Kaner punched him in the arm half-heartedly.

“Why kiss me at all?” Kaner asked, because apparently he was feeling embarrassingly needy and self-denying, which was just great of him. “I mean, I know I’m hot shit and all, but I’m pretty sure you could do better, man.”

Jonny just looked at him pityingly, and sank down onto the rug, gesturing for Kaner to join him.

“Because maybe I do belong in a mental hospital,” he said, opening the basket. “Be quiet and enjoy your fucking picnic, you know how much money I spent on all this bullshit?”

Kaner laughed, because that was what he needed from Jonny right then, that was the Jonny he wanted.

“I do appreciate it, dude,” he said. “I appreciate the fuck out of it. I appreciate it so much that I’ll probably let you nail me later if you want.” He wiggled his eyebrows enticingly, and then laughed harder when Jonny whacked him in the face with the bread.

Another road bump navigated, he thought triumphantly as they started to dig into the food. Maybe they were starting to get the hang of things after all.


They ate like incredibly health-conscious kings, lying back on the blanket and looking out the window at the stupidly awesome city views. Jonny had cranked up the heat to make it seem more like a summer’s day, and the chocolate brownies they had for dessert (low-fat, low-sugar, but at least they weren’t carob) were melting gently on their fingers and leaving sweet, chocolatey streaks over their lips. Kaner was definitely looking, because seriously, he was allowed, now, he was definitely going to take advantage. Besides, he’d caught Jonny watching more than once as Kaner sucked his fingers clean, licked chocolate off his lips. Neither of them acted on anything though, not yet. Just grinned at each other, laughed a lot. There were on a picnic, after all. Shit was supposed to get messy.

They kept the conversation light while they ate, which for them meant at least some time spent dissecting their next opponents, chatting about gameplay, picking the players to watch. Jonny was trying to be sweet to him, though - apparently - and generously allowed the subject to be changed before he got out the whiteboard and markers he kept in the spare room. By the time they’d had two brownies each and were lying back in vaguely pleasant food paralysis, they’d cycled through all the movies that were currently out, a heated discussion about if someone who’d read Breaking Dawn could criticise Jonny for liking Dan Brown (they definitely could), and whether or not Kruger was going to settle down with his new lady or keep competing with Stalberg to see who could bang more of Chicago.

“It’s not actually any of our business,” Jonny said, trying to hide a smile, when Kaner wondered if Krug’s girl knew that they literally had scoresheets up in their stalls.

“See, I don’t think he’ll tell her,” Kaner said, ignoring him. “But only ‘cause he’s losing. Kruger’s got a lot of pride on the line there.”

“Well, that’s the kid’s own fault for trying to compete with Viktor,” Jonny said innocently, and Kaner was immediately hit over the head with a jealousy so irrational it was actually pretty hilarious. Except for how it totally fuckng wasn’t.

“Stals doesn’t like guys,” he said stupidly, staring out the window and feeling his cheeks heat up. “So don’t, you know, get any ideas.”

Jonny laughed and kicked his ankle. “Lucky I don’t actually want to fuck him then, huh,” he said, amused. Kaner was starting to think he spent way too much time amusing Jonny for the wrong reasons.

He rolled over onto his side. Jonny tilted his head to watch him. There was still a little bit of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. Kaner swallowed.

“Why don’t you wanna screw Stals?” he asked, voice low. “He’s hot as fuck.”

“Not my type,” Jonny said easily, smiling.

Kaner smiled back.

“Hammer? Kruger?”

“Too Swedish,” Jonny said with a shrug, and Kaner shifted just a little closer.


“Too married.”

Kaner rolled his eyes. “Too married to even think about? Come on.”

Jonny just raised an eyebrow. “You spend much time thinking about Sharp, Lil Peekaboo?” Kaner wrinkled his nose at the nickname. No one called him that but Sharpy, now.

“Not recently,” he said, because it was true, and also because he didn’t want to go into the embarrassing rookie crush fantasies he used to have about the guy who called himself Sharpshooter. Jonny would either judge him and laugh or judge him and hunt Sharpy down with a baseball bat, and neither option was appealing.

Which, whatever, it wasn’t like Kaner hadn’t had embarrassing rookie crush fantasies about Jonny as well.

“Good,” Jonny replied softly, and Kaner inched closer still. Jonny smelled like distressingly healthy brownies, and lemonade, and floor polish. Kaner wanted to lick the chocolate out of his mouth, and then keep licking until he got to the ridiculously addictive taste of Jonny underneath. It was a problem.

“What about,” Kaner paused, biting his lip, as Jonny stretched one arm up behind his head. His bicep was right there and it was... well, it was a problem too, okay.

“What about Crow?” he finished, because Corey and Jonny were pretty close, and he had those lips, and also, he was called Corey, which was a name someone had invented specifically for gay porn.

Jonny just chuckled, though. “Nah, he’s a goalie.” Which - actually, yeah, okay.

“Besides,” Jonny went on. “There’s only one guy on the team I’m interested in.”

Kaner couldn’t even try to repress his grin. “Yeah?” he said, and now he was close enough to push his body all along Jonny’s side, pressing into the long, solid warmth of him.

“Yeah,” Jonny agreed, and closed his eyes. “Shaw, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Kaner echoed faintly, trying to play it cool for about .05 seconds before breaking and diving on top of Jonny, knees straddling his hips and hands pressing down on his shoulders.

Me,” he said, as Jonny cracked up. “You’re interested in me. I’m fucking interesting.”

“That’s definitely one way of putting it,” Jonny said through his laughter. Kaner looked down at his dumb, gorgeous face and wondered if Jonny was on to something with the whole ‘kissing people to shut them up’ deal, because suddenly he wanted nothing more than to stick his tongue in Jonny’s stupid mouth just to make him be quiet.

So he did.

Ten minutes later, Jonny didn’t taste like chocolate anymore, no one was laughing at anyone, and they were both hard as fuck. The kiss was deep and slow, Jonny wrapping his arms around Kaner’s waist and controlling the pace as their lips slid together, slick and wet.

“It’s really hot in here,” Kaner mumbled against Jonny’s mouth, feeling a little warm and sweaty and short of breath, dazed from the lazy, half-hearted way they’d been rocking against each other.

Jonny pulled back and looked at him skeptically. “Really?”

“What? No, fuck off, I mean it’s literally really hot.”

Jonny grinned, and Kaner groaned. “The heating’s up too high, idiot.”

Right.” Jonny half sat up, sliding Kaner down until he was sitting on his thighs, and stripped out of his T-shirt, tossing it away. He leaned back on his hands and looked a little embarrassed at the way Kaner was blatantly checking him out.

“Settle down,” he mumbled. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

“Not from this angle,” Kaner said with feeling and started to lean in, suddenly desperate to get his mouth on Jonny’s skin.

Jonny stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“Yours too,” he said. “Come on, Kaner.”

Well, it was pretty hot...

Kaner yanked his shirt over his head, not bothering to look where he threw it. This time Jonny didn’t stop him from pushing them both back to the floor, opening his mouth and moaning as Kaner licked along his collarbone to his shoulder, hands spread out over his ribs.

“You want this,” Kaner said, lips moving over Jonny’s hot, smooth skin. “Just fucking admit it, Jonny.”

“You know I do,” Jonny groaned, tangling the fingers of one hand in Kaner’s hair, the other reaching to stroke up and down his back. The light touch sent shivers down Kaner’s spine despite the heat, and he wondered how he could already be reaching sensory overload just from some making out on the floor.

“You think about me,” Kaner added, as he kissed over Jonny’s chest, swiping his tongue over his left nipple and feeling him shudder, hand tightening in Kaner’s hair. “I know that too.”

“Fuck you,” Jonny said, but immediately followed it up with, “Yeah, all the time.”

His abs were trembling under Kaner’s touch, and Kaner thought he could probably come like this, just grinding against the muscle of Jonny’s thigh and listening to how badly Jonny wanted him. It was so sexy it was insane.

“You think about getting in me?” he asked, sliding one hand down Jonny’s stomach.

Jonny closed his eyes. “Shit yeah,” he breathed. “Kaner...”

Kaner twisted his hand, cupped it over Jonny’s hard cock through his stupid plaid shorts. Jonny’s thighs tensed as he bucked up into the touch, and Kaner had to tongue at the cut on his lip to keep himself from losing it completely.

Jonny was looking at him with narrowed eyes, following the movement. “That’s - that’s what I want,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his chest. “Your mouth, fuck, it’s driving me insane.”

Kaner grinned. His lips felt swollen and tight, burning hot, and he wanted to get them around Jonny’s cock like nothing he’d ever wanted in his life.

“You can have it,” he whispered. “You gonna let me blow you or what?”

For a moment Jonny looked like he was going to object, but Kaner was done playing fair. He let his mouth drop open and swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, holding Jonny’s gaze. Come on, he thought, letting the saliva build up in his mouth. Say yes.

“Patrick,” Jonny said helplessly, touching Kaner’s cheek. Kaner dropped his head and pressed a wet kiss to the taut stretch of muscle between Jonny’s belly button and the waistband of his pants, squeezing his dick at the same time.

It was a pretty awesome tactic.

“Okay. Jesus, yes, suck my dick,” Jonny finally gasped. “You know how much I’ve thought about this since that first time on the phone? You on your knees, taking it, loving it... I want - fuck - “ Kaner was pulling down Jonny’s zipper as he listened, following the slide of metal with his mouth, soaking the front of Jonny’s boxer briefs.

“Keep talking,” he demanded.

Jonny huffed out a laugh. “Screw you, I’m the one in charge here,” he said, which was an obvious lie that Kaner was about to dispute when Jonny added, “I wanna fuck the taste of every other guy out of your mouth, you get that?”

Okay, yeah, Jonny could totally be in charge if he wanted.

“You can do that,” Kaner said, his voice just a little shaky.

“Yeah?” Jonny looked kind of smug and angry and stupid with sex all at the same time, which was impressive.

“Yeah, fuck, I love that you’re like this, I knew you would be.”

Jonny frowned. “Like what?”

Kaner sat up and jerked his head at the couch. “A bossy asshole. Go sit down.”

Jonny stood up, stepping out of his shorts as he walked over to the couch. “No, I’m not.”

“You are and I like it. Keep it up.” Kaner grinned again as Jonny slumped onto the couch, thighs spread wide, one hand palming the bulge in his boxers. He tilted his head and smirked back at Kaner.

“Fine. So get the fuck over here and get to it, then,” he said, and, Kaner could be real good at following orders when he needed to be.

He dropped his own pants and settled on his knees in front of Jonny. Jonny had already pushed his boxers down and started stroking his cock, which was hard and thick, a little moisture already collecting at the head. Shit, Kaner needed to taste that.

“I’m gonna make this so good,” he promised, wrapping his hand around Jonny’s for a few strokes before taking over. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, on the phone?” His mouth was so close to Jonny’s dick, breath ghosting over it. “About you not wanting to be a gentleman. About me bringing out the worst in you.”

“You do, obviously,” Jonny said hoarsely, hands clenched into fists by his sides.

Kaner couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t stop himself from licking just the head of Jonny’s dick, letting the taste of it fill his mouth. He moaned, and Jonny echoed it back, deep and broken. It was so good.

“I want,” Kaner started, and looked up at Jonny, at how tightly controlled he still was. “I want to see this side of you, okay? I want you to stop being such a gentleman. All that - you can take me out, win me over, whatever, I’m yours. But I want you like you promised that first time too.”

Jonny unclenched one hand and touched his thumb to the corner of Kaner’s mouth. Kaner licked it.

“If I - I’ll open your cut up again,” Jonny said hesitantly, pressing gently against it. “It’ll hurt.”

“But you’re kinda into that, right?” Kaner asked. His heart was beating a million miles an hour, he couldn’t even really believe what he was saying, what they were doing. He jerked Jonny’s cock and widened his eyes as he looked up at his face. “You don’t need to be sweet to me, man. You wanna fuck my face, rough me up a little?”

“Yeah, Patrick,” Jonny whispered, and Kaner gave him a big, giddy smile.

“Yeah? Good.”


He didn’t let Jonny come straight away.

Kaner didn’t normally get to spend a lot of time doing this. The hookups he had with guys were engineered to get them both off as hard and fast as possible, mostly to avoid getting busted for public indecency. He wasn’t used to having time, and it was a luxury he fully intended to take advantage of.

Also, it was really kind of fun to fuck with Jonny’s head a little.

He didn’t start out slow - at first, he sucked Jonny down as far as he could, letting the head bump the back of his throat and choke him a little before pulling off with a gasp, glancing up at Jonny’s face with watering eyes.


Jonny looked shell-shocked. “Don’t you fucking stop.”

So Kaner didn’t. He sucked him hard and deep, lips bumping at the fist he’d made at the base of Jonny’s cock while Jonny gripped at his shoulders with shaking hands. He kept up the fast pace until Jonny went tense and still under him, so close, and then he pulled off and ducked down to mouth at his balls instead. He sucked one and then the other into his mouth as Jonny bitched and swore at him, head thrown back against the couch cushions.

“You’re an asshole,” Jonny said fervently, tugging sharply at Kaner’s hair. “Keep going.”

Kaner licked a long stripe back up Jonny’s dick. “You gonna come?”

Jonny glared. His cheeks were red, hair sticking in sweaty strands to his forehead and neck. He looked incredible. “Well, not now,” he said grumpily.

Kaner nodded, shivering, feeling a little drunk with power. He wanted to reach down and jerk his own cock, wanted to grind against Jonny’s leg until he came, just like that.

But mostly he wanted to blow Jonny’s fucking mind. “Okay, good,” he said, and shot a quick smile up at Jonny’s pained face before getting back to work.

He went slower, drawing in deep, luscious swallows of Jonny’s cock, taking his time. He got a little lost in the feeling, the hot throb of his cut lip, the way Jonny overtook all his senses, filling him up and surrounding him, fucking up into his mouth gently with languid thrusts of his hips. He was moaning unashamedly now, petting and pulling at Kaner’s hair, touching his stretched lips, swiping his fingers though the spit drooling down Kaner’s chin.

And apparently the phone sex talk hadn’t just been a fluke, because Kaner was learning - to his absolute fucking delight  - that Jonny just couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he was getting head. It was amazing.

“So good, Kaner, look at you, you’re so good,” he gasped, poking his finger into the corner of Kaner’s mouth alongside his dick. “Look at you take it, shit. Wanted this for so fucking long, you have no idea.”

And God, Kaner wanted to come when he heard those words, could hardly restrain himself from gripping his dick, jerking off all over Jonny. He loved being wanted, looked at, needed, and this was fucking Jonny, and right then, right at that moment, Jonny needed him like air.

Kaner wanted to take that moment, that feeling, and keep it bottled up forever.

Instead, he waited until Jonny was close to coming again and then pulled off completely, planting his hands on Jonny’s thighs and surging up to kiss him hard and messy. Jonny sank his teeth into Kaner’s bottom lip and fuck, it hurt, but Jesus Christ, at the same time it was so good.

“I need to come, Patrick,” Jonny said desperately. “Stop fucking with me. Get me off.”

Kaner licked his mouth, his jaw, the sweat off his neck. “So don’t let me stop next time,” he said, loving the way his voice had gotten so scratchy and messed up. “Make me keep going.” He took one of Jonny’s hands and pushed it to the back of his head. “Get it?”

Jonny stared at him for a second, slack-jawed, and Kaner stared back, waiting for it to sink in. He wanted this, like this. He wanted to feel owned. Even if it was just for now, just until Jonny came to his senses and got over his weird obsession with fucking him. He wanted to feel like he belonged there, like he could have this whenever he wanted. Whenever he needed.

Because he was starting to need it, and as terrifying as that thought was, at least he could enjoy this taste now and make the fucking most of it while he could.

“Jonny,” he whispered. “Please.”

Jonny blinked, snapping back with the program. “Okay,” he whispered back, and tightened his grip on the base of Kaner’s skull. “Get back on my cock, Kaner.”

There was no stopping either of them, after that.

Jonny finally let go, fucking up into Kaner’s mouth for real, pushing his cock to the back of Kaner’s throat, making his eyes water again and tears spill down his cheeks. Kaner choked on it, loved it, let himself be used like he wanted. He sucked hard, as much as he could, groaning as he felt Jonny get closer and closer to the edge. Knowing this time he was gonna go right over.

“Fuck, Pat, Patrick, I’m gonna come,” Jonny babbled, hips jerking in sharp, tight movements. “Oh my God.”

Yeah, Kaner thought, and squeezed Jonny’s thighs. Do it.

And Jonny did. “Swallow,” he gasped, holding Kaner’s head still as he finally came, filling Kaner’s mouth as Kaner’s throat worked frantically to do as he was told and suck down as much as he could.

He didn’t get it all, though, because Jonny pulled out before he was finished, the last few spurts streaking over Kaner’s open mouth and down his chin.

“Pat,” Jonny said, breathless, his hand stroking shakily through Kaner’s hair. “You look...”

Kaner wiped his chin with the back of his hand, then licked it clean - which, okay, was a pretty calculated and devious move, fine - and Jonny groaned, dropping off the couch and shoving Kaner down onto his back.

“I wanna watch you come,” he said, breathlessly tugging Kaner’s boxer-briefs down his legs. Kaner wasn’t gonna argue.

“So jerk me off,” he rasped out, his voice temporarily fucked away. Jonny’s eyes darkened as he heard it, and he stroked Kaner’s throat once before running both hands up Kaner’s thighs, stopping at his hips - framing his cock but not touching it.

“Get yourself off,” he said, with a little grin. “I said I wanna watch.”

Kaner propped himself up on his elbows. “You serious?” he asked, already knowing the answer. Looked like Jonny was getting revenge.

“Oh yeah,” Jonny replied, crouching over him to plant a light, almost sweet kiss on his lips before settling back down between his spread legs. “I wanna see what you looked like when you were coming just for my voice on the phone all those times.”

“This really is ungentlemanly,” Kaner said weakly. “Just so you know.”

“You asked for it.” Jonny shrugged. “Come on, Kaner.”

Well, fine. It wasn’t like he was going to last long, anyway, not with the taste of Jonny’s come still on his tongue, not with the ache in his mouth and jaw and throat, not with Jonny watching him like that, his dark eyes hot, his gaze so intense it was almost physical.

He didn’t bother trying to draw it out at all, just grabbed his cock and went for it, legs open and knees bent as he fucked up into his own fist.

“God, I wanna fuck you,” Jonny whispered, and Kaner closed his eyes, pushing his cheek to the floor as he listened. “I wanna be the first one to open you up, first one to know what your ass feels like. First one to make you come just like that, stretched around my cock.”

He shoved his fingers into Kaner’s mouth, fucking it gently, just as Kaner was about to start fucking crying with how badly he needed to get off.

“You like having something in your mouth, right?” Jonny said breathlessly. “It’s not a fucking secret, Kaner. It’s a wonder that the whole league doesn’t know how much you love sucking cock, it’s so obvious. I should have known, I thought about it enough. Thought about being the one to-” He broke off, and suddenly his fingers were gone and Kaner almost did start crying, but then they were pressing against his ass instead and fuck, oh, fuck.

“Tell me how much you want - how much you want this,” Jonny stammered, pushing the very tip of one finger in. “Tell me you’re into-”

“Jonny,” Kaner gasped, and then he was coming, hot drops of it spilling over his fist and running over his stomach. His ass was clenching around Jonny’s finger and Jonny leaned in and kissed him deeply, stealing his breath and shit, Kaner had never loved him more than in that moment.

Oh. Oh, shit.

He opened his eyes and looked at Jonny’s face, his long lashes fanned out above his cheekbones, the little crease of his brow. He looked even dumber this close up, too big and obvious, and somehow really boyish. Like his bullshit Captain Serious act really was all just a front for this guy who liked picnics and chocolate and stupid sex with Kaner.

And Kaner loved him. It was completely ridiculous.

Jonny broke away slowly, touching the side of Kaner’s face with a little smile before hauling himself back up onto the couch and sprawling out, chest heaving. Kaner stayed where he was, looking up at Jonny and appreciating the view. He’d move in a minute, use Jonny’s shower, maybe eat another brownie or two, maybe work out how he was going to deal with the whole stupid loving Jonny thing. But that could wait. There was come streaked across his cheek and neck and stomach, but fuck, that could wait too.

“That’s a good look on you,” Jonny said eventually, when they’d started to come back to themselves, breath evening out and heart rates slowing down.

Kaner pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down his body. He really was a fucking mess.

“Yeah, I do get told that,” he said, without thinking at all.

One look at Jonny’s face told him that had been basically the polar opposite of the right thing to say in that moment.

“Fucking nice,” Jonny muttered, scowling, face gone tight and angry. Kaner bit his lip and reached for a T-shirt, awkwardly wiping himself off.

And just... fuck. He should have known that would piss Jonny off. It’d been a dumb thing to say, dumb that he’d kind of hoped Jonny would take it as a challenge, would wanna prove again that Kaner was his. Because Kaner obviously wasn’t, and he was obviously not equipped for any sort of relationship with Jonny anyway. As much as he wanted it. As much as he was starting to finally get it through his head that maybe Jonny wanted something as well.

“Tazer wait,” he said. “Don’t be like that.”

Jonny didn’t look at him. “Go fucking shower.” He looked cold and blank, and Kaner even preferred the crazy eyes of intensity to this empty look they got sometimes.

He sighed and got up. He didn’t know why he was bothering, but.

“Hey.” He grabbed Jonny’s elbow. “It counts more when it comes from you, okay?”

Jonny’s expression may have softened a little, or maybe it was just Kaner’s imagination. He didn’t break Kaner’s grip, though.

“Seriously, go shower, eh?” he said. “Let’s not-”

“Okay, totally,” Kaner said quickly, not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence. “Yep, okay. Showering.”

So that wasn’t awkward at all. Great.


They had a game the next day, so Kaner opted out of the extra brownies in favor of going home to crash on his couch and sulk and watch the Cartoon Network for about three hours. It was the adult, responsible thing to do, obviously.

Jonny had been okay after Kaner got out of the shower. Just punched him in the arm and kicked him out, but not in a nasty way, more in a ‘scram so I can work out and eat my weight in protein powder and brood to myself’ kind of way. Still awkward, but it was Jonny, so of course it was. Kaner hadn’t left feeling like he needed to change his name and go into witness protection, but he also wasn’t really feeling like he should go out and get them promise rings or anything.

Mostly he felt like he just...wanted to watch cartoons and sulk.

So he did that, and was just starting to get heavily invested in a Generator Rex marathon when Jonny called. Because obviously, Kaner couldn’t be allowed to sulk in peace.

He tried not to smile as he picked up his phone.

“You know,” he said, when Jonny had managed to get though his horribly stilted ‘hi-how-are-you’s. “For a cartoon character, Generator Rex is actually pretty damn-”

“Stop talking,” Jonny interrupted. “The key words there were ‘cartoon character’.”

“Yeah,” Kaner sighed. “Also, I guess he’s supposed to be like sixteen or something.”

“Oh my God,” Jonny said, sounding horrified, and Kaner smirked.

“Hey, like you said, cartoon character! It doesn’t count.”

“There is something wrong in your head,” Jonny informed him, but he sounded normal, now. Insulting Kaner was normal. That was good.

“Yeah, well, we’re having sex,” Kaner said back. “There’s clearly something fucked up going on.”

“Haha, yeah.” And there went normal. Jonny was the only person Kaner knew who actually said ‘haha’ when he wasn’t being sarcastic, like he honestly thought that was what laughter was supposed to sound like.

“You’re a tool,” Kaner said fondly. On the screen, Rex was making his hands into giant metal smackfists. Kaner thought it was unlikely that a sixteen-year-old boy with the ability to turn his limbs into huge steel weapons wouldn’t experiment on other parts of his anatomy as well. Kaner sure as fuck would.

He refrained from mentioning that to Jonny, though. Instead, he opened his mouth and an entirely different stupid comment came out.

“So hey, remember when, like, I sucked your cock and you came on my face and stuff this afternoon?”

He could practically hear Jonny rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, now that you mention it I do recall something like that happening on my living room floor. What about it?”

Kaner kept his eyes fixed on the screen. “So how do you, like. Feel about that.”

Jonny groaned, like Kaner had just asked him to do long division or suck at hockey or something. “Seriously, Kaner? You’re gonna make me talk about it?”

“Well, I mean.” Kaner chewed on his lip a little. He needed to try to think before he said anything. It would be a novelty, but probably worth it in the long run.

“I mean, I just want to make sure you know that it doesn’t have to change anything,” he started slowly. The most important thing to him, and probably to Jonny as well, was that who they were wasn’t going to go away, whatever else happened. And Kaner honestly believed that it wouldn’t. Get better, maybe, but not change. “What I said before still counts, okay? We’re buddies and all.”

Jonny was quiet for a bit. Kaner watched the hot science chick do... science to Rex. It really was pretty sexy for a kids’ show, and if he wasn’t on the phone with Jonny he’d probably be getting a really inappropriate boner.

But Jonny was taking too long to answer, and Kaner was all tied up in knots, so.

Eventually, Jonny sighed. “Sometimes I honestly do hope you’re actually that dumb,” he said, almost musingly. “But maybe I just don’t like to think of the alternative.”

“Hey, fuck you, I am not,” Kaner said automatically, and then actually thought about what Jonny had said. “Well okay. Yeah, I probably am that dumb. But I’m kind of still in the dark here, man. You’re the one who won’t talk about it, remember?”

“Fuck you, we can’t all cry over vampire romances all the time. You know I’m not good at...”

“Life?” Kaner suggested.

“Feelings and stuff,” Jonny mumbled awkwardly. He was the fucking worst, since when was it fair that Kaner had to be the emotionally mature one in any relationship ever.

“Well, sac up, princess,” he said. “You have to give me something to work with here.”

“I thought I already had!” Jonny snapped. “Jesus.”

Well, maybe Kaner was being obtuse. I wanna fuck you was pretty unambiguous, it was true. Dinner and picnics and emotional blowjobs maybe less so, though. Fuck.

He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, well.” He really wasn’t exactly great at these kinds of conversations either, which was surprising to no one. He wondered if the chance of a glimpse inside Jonny’s giant head was worth the hassle of having to go through all this emotional drama. “I dunno, man.”

“I could maybe give it to you in point form,” Jonny said sarcastically. “I could make a PowerPoint presentation of all of my emotions.” He paused, and then added, “I learned how to do those in college.”

Kaner snorted, because seriously, Jonny was so bad at rubbing in the fact that he’d gone to college for a year and Kaner hadn’t. “You needed to go to a big fancy school to learn PowerPoint?” Like, they made basically the same money and played on the same NHL team and had the same couch. Attending college hadn’t made Jonny beat Kaner at life in any way.

“I learned plenty in college,” Jonny said defensively.

“Did you learn how to be an adult at any point? Or were you too busy getting drunk and arrested with TJ?”

“Oh, like you can talk,” Jonny scoffed. “Please, Patrick Kane, tell me all about the view you have from up there on your moral high ground.”

“Yeah, but I’m just a trashy hick from Buffalo, Jonathan. You’re the big mature college boy.”

“You are a trashy hick,” Jonny said pleasantly. “It’s nice that you’re so self-aware.”

And just like that, they’d sidestepped the issue. Again. Kaner wasn’t gonna complain, though. As exciting as it had been to get Jonny to almost admit to having a feeling, those kinds of talks just weren’t them. Kaner didn’t think being in love or whatever the fuck he was would change that about him. And probably wouldn't change Jonny, however he felt. If he felt anything. At all. Ever.

But he couldn’t keep the grin of his face, even when Jonny eventually told him to shut the fuck up and go to bed. Because the feeling he thought Jonny might be in danger of admitting to? Kaner was starting to be pretty sure that it was about him.


They fucking tore it up the next night against Minnesota, and Kaner spent the whole time feeling like some sort of hockey-playing god. He didn’t even bother stressing about his whatever-it-was with Jonny, he was too busy being amazing both on and off the ice to care. Hockey still worked - hockey together still worked - and hockey was the hardest and best thing in either of their lives. If they could win at hockey, they could deal with anything.

Besides, after one of his assists (he got two and a goal, because he was a fucking baller), Jonny grabbed him and squeezed him hard enough that any doubts about them being weird on the ice were completely erased. They were still them. And God, that was what he wanted more than anything.

Well, almost anything.

They went out that night, what felt like half the team. Even Jonny came, sitting in a corner booth with Crow and doing his ‘communing with the goalie’ thing, the sacred captain’s art. Kaner left him to it, but in between cavorting with his band of rookies and tearing it up on the dance floor, he snuck glances. Or stared blatantly, whatever. He kind of wanted to get laid, but that was his normal state of being, he’d learned to deal with that. And anyway, they had an early practice in the morning, so he didn’t think it was on the table. Jonny was way too responsible to let them go without their precious sleep like that.

He didn’t really think about trying to pick up anyone else.

He was in the bathroom at about eleven, washing up and thinking about heading home when he heard a deep chuckle behind him.

“You really can’t dance, you know.”

“Jesus, dude, you’re like a fucking ninja.” Kaner spun around just in time to see Jonny’s smug grin fade back into his default look of bored superiority.

Kaner decided it would be a good time to flick his wet hands in Jonny’s stupid face. Jonny flinched and frowned. “Cut it out.”

“Cut your mom out.” Kaner leaned back against the sink. They had the bathroom to themselves. Kaner assumed Jonny had come in to piss, but he didn’t head to the urinal, just stood there staring at Kaner, like he expected Kaner to start performing or something.

“I’m heading out in a minute,” Jonny said at last. “Early-”

“Skate in the morning, yeah, I know.” Patrick grinned. “Is that an invitation?”

Jonny actually grinned back. Well, smirked.

“Not tonight. You need your beauty sleep, Kaner, believe me.”

“Screw you, you think I’m hot shit,” Kaner shot back, laughing. “Still wanna fuck me?”

“Still wanna be fucked?” Jonny tilted his head back and raised his eyebrows, like the arrogant douchebag he was, and holy shit Kaner wanted to kiss him.

He wasn’t dumb enough to think that was a good idea right there and then, though.

He licked his lips, instead, and thought about the question. “Yeah,” he said honestly. “And, let’s face it. If it’s not gonna be you, it’s not gonna be anyone, so.” He shrugged, and tried to act like he hadn’t just essentially handed his heart over on a platter. “So I’m gonna head home too.”

Jonny nodded. His cheeks may have been a little pink, or it could have just been the reflection off of Kaner’s - he was pretty sure his own face was glowing like a neon light.

“Good,” Jonny said softly, and gave him a real smile. “Awesome. I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Yep,” Kaner agreed, and pushed off from the sink, trying to sidle past Jonny in the narrow space.

Jonny grabbed his arm, though, holding him still. Kaner froze and looked up at him, waiting.

“On the road in a couple of days, eh?” Jonny said, looking intently into Kaner’s eyes, and Kaner’s stomach flipped over. That did sound like an invitation.

“You bet,” he said stupidly. “Uh.”

“Okay, so I’m gonna.” Jonny dropped Kaner’s arm and gestured to the urinals. “Take a leak.”

“Oh, the romance,” Kaner sighed, grinning like an idiot. “You have fun with that.”

Jonny shook his head. “Go home, Patrick.”

Kaner saluted, maybe a little giddy. “Aye-aye, captain!”

The way Jonny rolled his eyes and laughed made it totally worth it.


So he guessed Jonny really did actually like him.

Kaner tried not to think about it too much, it was too weird. But he couldn’t help himself, the thought kept popping up in his head and making him laugh at random moments because - well. Jonny liking him was so fucking stupid and ridiculous that he almost couldn’t believe it.

He kind of did believe it, though. He’d be dumb not to. He’d been dumb. It was insane.

Maybe Jonny liked him, and wasn’t just a weirdo jealous control freak who disapproved of his life choices. Well, no, he probably was still all those things, actually. But that was probably because. Because he liked Kaner.

“What,” Kaner said to his reflection in his bathroom mirror the next morning. “What is he thinking?”

Kaner had had, like, two weeks to fall for Jonny. It was still pretty sudden and unreal and unlikely. How long had Jonny had to decide he was into Kaner? Since they were rookies? No, Kaner didn’t think so. He could remember himself as a rookie, he didn’t think anyone in their right mind would have... but then, Jonny clearly wasn’t in his right mind. He’d said he’d wanted to bang Kaner for ‘a while’. Was wanting to fuck him code for liking him? Not really, in Kaner’s experience. People existed who were into the idea of fucking him, especially if they were drunk and horny enough. But actually liking him and wanting to be with him?

Maybe Jonny liked and wanted to be with him. The thought made Kaner laugh until he had to sit down, holding his aching stomach and smiling stupidly at nothing. Man. Jonny was an idiot.

And Kaner was so totally down with it. Obviously.


They dropped the first game of their road trip, and Kaner and Jonny were both in such filthy moods that night that they moved around their hotel room like zombies, vaguely grunting at each other until it was time to turn the lights out and go to sleep.

Kaner wasn’t even disappointed that nothing happened - if he was gonna get with Jonny, he wanted it to be off the back of something awesome, not a shitty three-goal loss in fucking Detroit. There was a time and place for hot ass-sex with your captain-slash-possible love of your life, and it wasn’t after a game like that.

“We’ll kill ‘em next time,” Jonny said as they settled into their beds. It was the first full sentence he’d uttered in what felt like hours.

Kaner was still stuck on the zombie thing, though. “We’ll eat their brains,” he mumbled absently, and Jonny actually flicked on his bedside light so that Kaner could see that he was being frowned at. He kept it up for a few seconds, not saying anything, and then switched it back off and rolled over to sleep.

Kaner smiled for the first time all night.

The next day was nothing, travel, practice, nothing. Kaner didn’t say anything, and neither did Jonny - they were there to kick ass and play hockey, and besides, Kaner was still holding out for his big win. He had the idea that it’d be romantic or something, or at least more awesome than peeling off his skanky traveling clothes and collapsing on Jonny’s dick. Maybe if it became a thing that they did it could get to that place, but they definitely weren’t there yet.

And then they completely destroyed the Devils. Kaner was on fire, the whole team was on fire, and in the locker room after, Jonny gave him a grin that was so hot and cocky and self-assured that Kaner almost popped a boner right then and there. Oh yeah, he thought, gazing back. It’s fucking on all right. It was the cue he’d needed, the night he’d needed. It was gonna happen. He was gonna make it. And it was gonna be amazing.


Kaner hung back when they got to the hotel, loitering around the lobby and bullshitting with Sharpy and Oduya until he was sure Jonny would be up in their room. Then he waved off the guys and casually headed into the bathrooms next to the elevator. Locking himself into a stall - and praying to God no one would come in - he took a deep breath and pulled out his phone.


“Hey Jonny, what are you wearing?”

What? Where are you?”

Kaner leaned against the wall. “Restroom downstairs,” he said. “What are you wearing?”

Jonny laughed a little, confused. “You’re an idiot. I’m wearing my suit, same as I was five minutes ago. What are you doing?”

Kaner shook his head sadly. “God, you’re still so bad at this.”

As expected, that put Jonny on the defensive. “What, no I’m not. Fuck you.”

“You are. I mean, I know I don’t have, like, any experience, but I’m pretty sure I know how this is supposed to go by now.”

Jonny hesitated for just a second. “You wanna do this now?”

Kaner allowed himself a tiny fistpump. “Hell yeah, man.”

“Okay.” Jonny’s voice dropped into what he probably thought was his sexy mumble register. And fine, Kaner thought it was pretty sexy, too. “I can be out of this suit in just a second if you-”

“Yeah,” Kaner interrupted. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Jonny dropped the phone, and Kaner heard rustling over the line, and the clatter of what he hoped wasn’t a coat hanger. Only Jonny would delay phone sex to hang up his jacket.

He was back pretty quickly, though. Eager, after all. Kaner was a genius.

“All right, yeah, just my boxers now,” Jonny said a little breathlessly.

Kaner closed his eyes. “Which ones?”

Jonny laughed again. “Black Armani.”

“I can’t believe I like someone who wears Armani boxer-briefs, man,” Kaner said with a groan.

“I look fuckin’ awesome in Armani,” Jonny said easily. “Come see.”

“Not yet.” Kaner swallowed. “Get on the bed.”

“You’re trying to be in charge now? That’s not how this goes, Patrick.” He was doing it, though. Kaner could tell.

“So be in charge, then,” he said softly. “Jonny, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Let me fuck you,” Jonny said quickly, and Kaner moaned, head thunking back against the wall.

“I’ve been saying.”

“Tonight. Tonight I’m gonna. Shit, Kaner, I’m already getting hard for you, just thinking about it.”

“You touching yourself?” Kaner asked, voice rough. Jonny wasn’t the only one getting hard. Kaner hadn’t actually thought about the awkward walk up to their room with a boner when he’d planned this. He hoped Sharpy was already in bed.

“Yeah, I am,” Jonny replied. “Be better if it was you. Jesus, Kaner, get in here. Come here.”

Kaner straightened up, a little shaky. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I’m waiting,” Jonny said, and then hung up on him.

Kaner paused for a bit, adjusting himself in his pants, taking some more deep breaths. It was gonna work out, he told himself. It had to. It was Jonny, it was the two of them, it was gonna be fine. No, screw that, more than fine. It was gonna fucking kick ass.


When Kaner got to the room, Jonny was lying back against the pillows, long legs crossed at the ankles. He still had his boxers on, tight and black and straining around his hips and thighs. One hand was resting on his chest, the other was lazily massaging the bulge in those fucking stupid Armanis.

It was far and away the hottest thing Kaner had ever seen in his life.

“Oh my God, Jonny,” he blurted out. “You practice that pose?”

Jonny flushed, so probably yes. “You practice being an asshole?” he asked, and Kaner yanked at his tie.

“Nah, that comes naturally,” he said, and dropped his jacket on the floor, ignoring Jonny’s little frown of disapproval. “Holy shit, I’ve been horny as hell ever since you slotted that last goal tonight, man. Fucking amazing.”

Jonny looked pleased. “Yeah?”

“Shit yeah, dude. I love watching you out there when you’re on. It’s so hot.”

Jonny sat up, cheeks going even redder. He looked – turned on and sexy and all that, sure. But mostly he looked happy.

“You too,” he said, almost a little shyly. “I love... you know, playing hockey with you. Asshole.”

Kaner’s shirt joined the little pile at the end of the bed, and then his belt. “You totally wanted to suck my dick when I got mine in,” he grinned. “Admit it.”

“Nah.” Jonny reached out for him, and Kaner let his pants fall to the floor as he climbed onto the bed and into Jonny’s arms. “Maybe do this, though,”

Jonny kissed him like they were characters in a shitty romance novel, deep and slow. His fingers rested lightly on Kaner’s jaw as he rolled them onto their sides and pushed his thick thigh in between Kaner’s legs. It was... pretty fucking amazing, actually. The bed was big and soft and warm, and Jonny was big and hard and warm, and Kaner hadn’t realized yet how far gone he really was. Until he opened his eyes and saw Jonny’s were open as well, gazing back at him with alarming frankness. And that was when it really hit him. When he thought, oh, right. This is what being in love is.

“Jonny,” he said helplessly into the kiss. Jonny pulled back to look at him, and Kaner shook his head. “I don’t wanna stop,” he said, and part of him meant ‘now’ and part of him meant ‘ever’. “Come on. Let’s - let’s do this.”

Jonny stared at him seriously for a minute, like he was trying to read Kaner’s mind, before he apparently came to some sort of conclusion in that big dumb head of his. “Okay,” he said firmly, and then broke the moment as he leaned over Kaner to snatch his bag up from the floor next to the bed. He rummaged in it for a second, and then pulled out a box of condoms and a little bottle. His cheeks were flaming again.

“Is that lube?” Kaner asked, grabbing for the bottle and examining the label. Astroglide. It sounded like he was gonna be fucking an astronaut. “This had better be brand new, motherfucker.”

“Haven’t even popped the seal yet,” Jonny mumbled, and Kaner grinned, but generously decided to let the obvious joke go. For now.

“You know what you’re doing with this stuff?” he asked instead, getting the bottle opened. Jonny shrugged.

“It’s not that difficult,” he said dismissively, like he was out fucking dudes up the ass every other day. Which he might be, for all Kaner knew. And Kaner kind of felt like he had the right to know - Jonny could be a mysterious, emotionally repressed motherfucker all he wanted, but Kaner was going to clear at least one thing up right then.

He sat up, and wiggled the lube a little. “Wait, we are going to get something straight.” Jonny’s face screwed up with the terror of having to express himself or whatever, but Kaner ignored him. “Have you ever done this with anyone else? With a guy. Yes or no.”

Jonny sighed and looked pained. “Yes,” he said reluctantly without looking at Kaner’s face. “Once.”

Kaner was so instantaneously furious that he almost bit through his lip. He was angry - not with Jonny, no, but with whoever had had the fucking nerve to get there first. To get there before Kaner. He didn’t even care who the fuck it was (although he was gonna get that story out of Jonny later, no question). He just knew that he hated his guts.

“I am so fucking jealous, man,” he said, honest and stupid. “You’ve got no idea.”

And Jonny, Jonny actually smiled, kissing the corner of Kaner’s mouth. “I’ve got some idea,” he said dryly. “Now you know how I feel all the fucking time.”

Kaner tried to frown, but Jonny was gently shoving him back down onto the bed, covering him, kissing him again. It wasn’t like a romance novel anymore. Kaner knew what Jonny wanted, and Kaner wanted it too, was desperate for what was coming. He was gonna give as good as he got.

If he couldn’t be the first then screw it, he was gonna be the best.

“Fuck me, Jonny,” he said, slowly, deliberately, looking into Jonny’s eyes. “Come on, man. Do it.”

“God, shut up,” Jonny groaned, resting his forehead on Kaner’s shoulder. “I am, I’m gonna.”

Kaner reached for the box of condoms, pulling out a strip and slapping Jonny on the back. “Up, get those boxers off,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Jonny eyed him, amused and frustrated. “You’re such a fucking charmer,” he said, rolling onto his back and kicking his boxers down his long legs. Kaner was so distracted as he watched that he didn’t think to do the same thing until Jonny pinched his thigh.

“Wake up, Kaner,” he said, waiting until Kaner’s boxers had flown off the end of the bed before kneeling between his legs. He planted one hand on Kaner’s chest and leaned down, kissing him briefly and biting his lip. “You good?”

“Of course,” Kaner murmured, and hooked a thigh around Jonny’s waist, holding him close for a second. “Yeah, Jonny.”


Kaner passed him the lube. He wasn’t entirely sure about this part, but it was Jonny and Kaner trusted him. Like, ninety nine percent, at least. Ninety five percent.

“You sure you know what you're doing?” he asked again. Jonny laughed.

“Don’t worry. It’s gonna be good,” he promised, and ran his hand in smooth strokes down Kaner’s body, over his chest, across his stomach, sweeping down his thigh. “As if I wouldn’t make this good,” he murmured. “As if I would let that happen.”

Kaner moaned as Jonny reached his cock, stroking it a few times dry and then pausing to squirt some of the lube into his hand. “Jesus, Jonny,” Kaner whispered, watching Jonny watching himself jerk Kaner off. It was the first time Jonny had really gotten his hand on his dick, Kaner realized with a start.

By the look on his face, Jonny was realizing it too.

“Patrick,” he said quietly, his eyes wide and startled. Kaner smiled at him, just a small, honest, happy smile, because - because it felt amazing and Jonny was amazing and they were in this together.

“Hey,” he said. “Jonny.”

“Hey.” Jonny smiled back, and then he was squirting out more lube and yeah, Kaner was into this, he was so into it. Watching Jonny slick up his fingers, watching him push Kaner’s legs further apart. Watching the tight, determined set of his mouth, the intensity of his eyes. Watching the way he bent down to press a light kiss to the inside of Kaner’ knee before - oh - God.

“Yeah,” Kaner breathed out before he could catch himself. “Yeah, that’s...”

“Good,” Jonny finished for him, and pushed his finger in further, opening him up. He’d done this, a little, when Kaner had been jerking off for him, but this wasn’t the same. Jonny wasn’t delicate with him - he wasn’t exactly rough, he didn’t go too fast or hard, but he wasn’t being super-gentle, either. He knew Kaner. Knew what he wanted, what he could take.

And, as usual, he was right.

“More,” Kaner demanded. He touched Jonny’s thigh, his arm, gripped the sheets underneath him. “You can give me more, man.”

Jonny nodded, and pulled his finger out, added more lube and then pressed two in. It was fucking amazing. Kaner pushed his face into the pillow and caught his breath, just sinking into the sensations. It wasn’t like anything he’d felt before, intense and strange and new. He couldn’t really believe how good, how hot it was to have Jonny inside him like that, fucking him slowly, stretching him open. When Jonny started jerking Kaner’s cock at the same time, Kaner had to reach out and grab his wrist, shaking his head.

“Not yet,” he said, a little apologetic. “I’ll come.”

“Already?” Jonny grinned, looking pleased with himself. He pushed in a little deeper, a little harder, making Kaner gasp. “I’m honored.”

“Fuck you,” Kaner gritted out. “Hurry up and get your cock in me so I can.”

“Hmm, yeah, okay.” Jonny said, twisting his fingers just a little more before pulling them out. He was obviously trying to do the thing where he pretended to be above it all, some kind of sex robot that was entirely unaffected, but Kaner wasn’t gonna buy it.

“Just - fuck, Jonny. Just let go,” he said, sitting up and trying to catch Jonny’s gaze. He felt open and half-insane with lust and maybe a little like he was going out of his fucking mind with how bad he needed this. He wanted to know Jonny was in the same place. “Just do that for me, okay?”

Jonny looked back at him frankly. “I’d do anything for you right now,” he said quietly, and then ducked his head, fumbling with the condom wrapper, tearing at it with his teeth and avoiding Kaner’s eye.

“I,” Kaner started, and couldn’t go on. Jonny was shaking as he rolled on the condom, and Kaner just watched, his heart suddenly way too big for his chest.

“Hey,” he said, as Jonny squirted out still more lube. “I mean, hey, me too. You know.”

Jonny leaned forward, pressing against Kaner, and God, they were so close, finally so close.

And then Jonny paused.

What,” Kaner whined. “Oh my God.”

Jonny licked his lips. “Say,” he started, and then stopped, still staring at Kaner’s face, his brow all creased and thoughtful. Kaner wondered if Jonny might literally be going insane.

“Say what? Fucking anything, man, I told you.”

“Say you’re into-”

Kaner cut him off, because seriously, this again? “I’m into it, okay? So into it,” he said impatiently, trying to pull Jonny in, and he almost missed it when Jonny went on.

“ Say you’re into me.”


Kaner froze, feeling everything click into place. Right. Because Jonny was terrified of feelings, sure, but he’d been asking this same question the whole time - shit, maybe since that first phone call - and Kaner had never gotten it. Never really answered it.

Well, fuck that.

“I’ve been a dickhead, haven’t I?” he asked softly. Jonny just kept up with the crazy eyes, and Kaner could totally admit by now how much he loved that - all that Jonny-intensity focused on him, like he was worth it. Like he was something important. More than a friend or teammate or fuck buddy, more than all three put together.

“I’m into you,” he said. “Of course I am. I’m really, really into you, specifically, out of everyone in the world. Okay? I love you, you’re my best friend, you’re - whatever this is. I love you and I’m into you.” He tried to work out what he needed to say right then, and figured the truth was probably all it was gonna take. “There’s no one else for me right now, I swear. I want you because, you know.” He shrugged. “Because I want you.”

Jonny... shit, Jonny looked like he was maybe about to cry. Which Kaner would mock him for, obviously, except for how he could feel actual tears trying to form in his own eyes, so it’d probably end up counter-productive in the long run.

He buried his face in Jonny’s shoulder, hiding his eyes. How was he crying during sex, how could this possibly be his life.

“Yeah?” Jonny asked, sounding as hopeful and needy as Kaner had ever heard him.

“Yeah,” Kaner insisted, voice thick. “You moron.”

“I - you too.” Jonny mumbled, and suddenly that wasn’t enough for Kaner. He turned his head away from Jonny’s shoulder, not even caring if his eyes were a little wet. Well, not caring much.

“Fuck you, you have to say it too,” he said, and Jonny looked at his face, a little smile curling his mouth.

“Are you crying?”

“Fuck you,” Kaner repeated, manfully ignoring him. “I had to say it. You say it too.”

Jonny took a deep breath. “I’ve been saying it, this whole time,” he said, rubbing his thumb under Kaner’s eye. “But yeah, if I need to fucking spell it out. I guess I took a hard hit to the head on the ice one day, because somehow I managed to convince myself that I’m in love with you or whatever.” He was still smirking as he added. “I guess I never recovered.”

Kaner sighed. The tears were definitely threatening now. He’d never felt so amazing in his life. “That was the worst declaration of love I’ve ever heard,” he said happily, pushing his face against Jonny’s hand. “God, you’re an asshole.”

“You love me,” Jonny replied carefully, like he was just testing the words out. He looked like someone had just hit him over the back of the head with a brick.

“Well, yeah,” Kaner bitched. “So now would you please fuck me, man?”

Jonny looked down the length of their bodies, where - thankfully - the alarming influx of emotions had had remarkably little impression on their erections. He shifted his hips, sliding his cock along the inside of Kaner’s thigh, and Kaner groaned.

“You sure?” Jonny asked, reaching down to stroke Kaner a few times, like he was testing that he was still ready to go, which, yes, he totally fucking was. “I mean, we can keep talking about our feelings if you’d prefer.”

“Jonny,” Kaner gritted out, and then reached down, taking matters into his own hands. “I want you in me.” He pushed the head of Jonny’s cock against his ass - and fuck, damn, it was big, this was gonna be a learning experience for sure - and tried to push his hips down. “Jesus, dude, take a hint.”

“Shit yeah, Patrick,” Jonny breathed, gripping the inside of Kaner’s knee and pushing his leg up. Yeah, it looked like he was finally getting with the program. “Open up for me, that’s it,” And then, yes, at last, he was pressing in, slow and hard, and Kaner almost couldn’t handle it. “Oh, God,” Jonny gasped as he sank in. “That good?”

It was more than good. Jonny stretched him out, filled him, and wasn’t like any other feeling in the world, like nothing Kaner even knew existed.

He wrapped an arm around Jonny’s shoulders, kissed him stupidly, lips landing all uncoordinated on his cheeks, the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah,” he said, eyes wide. “Yeah, Jonny, fuck yeah.”

Jonny pulled out a little, and then pushed back in, gasping as they both adjusted. It was all new to Kaner, but shit, he liked it. Loved it. Couldn’t believe how much he wanted it. He moaned as Jonny slowly got a rhythm going, just soft, shallow thrusts, like they were testing the waters. It was like a tease, like a prelude to the main event, and it wasn’t long before Kaner needed more.

Jonny seemed to read his mind. “Jerk off,” he told him, voice tight. “Touch yourself.” He knelt up, kissing the inside of Kaner’s arm as he pulled away, and then, shit, he fucked his cock in that little bit deeper and Kaner started to worry that he might actually pass out.

Instead he bit his lip and did as he was told, stroking his cock in time with Jonny’s thrusts, starting slow but getting faster, more frantic, as Jonny finally started to lose his control.

“You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted this,” Jonny panted. “So long, Pat, it’s all I could think about.”

Kaner couldn’t even reply, too overwhelmed with feeling. He just clutched at Jonny everywhere he could and tried to let him know exactly how needed he was. Like, seriously, Kaner was considering just never letting go, just keeping them there like that forever in the messy hotel sheets, sweaty and awful and everything he’d wanted for so long.

They weren’t going to win any awards for stamina, though, not the first time anyway. Kaner figured they could work their way up to the marathon all-night sex he’d kind of been imagining. He was feeling way too needy to hold out, and he was determined to take Jonny with him.

“You’re gonna make me come.” Sweat was beading on his skin, slicking the places where he and Jonny were pressed together. Jonny was flushed all down his chest, and his hair was damp and his muscles were straining and fuck, Kaner was already so close. “Come on, fuck, talk to me.”

And this time Jonny didn’t need any coaxing. He leaned in, bending Kaner in ways that were definitely going to catch up with him at some point, and seemed to go even deeper, hitting nerves that Kaner had never even known existed. “God, I want you,” Jonny groaned, hips snapping unevenly, starting to lose his rhythm. “Like this, wanna keep you here like this always -” Kaner whimpered because yeah, as usual, they were on the same page. But shit, he wasn’t gonna last, it was too good.

And Jonny knew. Jonny always knew.

“Patrick. Pat. Come.”

Yeah, Kaner knew how to take directions from his captain, alright. He came hard, all over his fist and stomach, all over Jonny’s too. His whole body was on fire, tense and trembling, and it was so hot it was fucking insane.

Jonny stared down at him, fucking stunned look on his face, completely out of it. “I can feel it,” he whispered, and Kaner clenched again, tightening around Jonny’s cock. Shit, it was amazing, having this with Jonny, having it with Jonny in him. At last.

“Come on,” he said helplessly, sinking down into the mattress like all his strings had been cut, going lax and open. “Jonny, give it to me.”

And that was it for Jonny, all it took. He went still and taut, every muscle straining as he pumped his own orgasm into Kaner, biting out a soft little groan as he slammed in one last time before slumping, spent.

Kaner let him stay where he was for a while. He was too dazed to even think about moving, loving the heavy, too-hot weight of Jonny pressing into him, holding him down. They were both disgusting with sweat and lube and come, and Kaner was already starting to fantasize about hot, never-ending hotel showers, but just for a minute he was happy where he was.

But eventually, he had to move, gingerly, because Jonny was still inside him and it was getting awkward. He shifted his hips, wincing a little, and Jonny lifted his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, bleary-eyed, and pulled out, rolling onto his back with a sigh. Kaner closed his eyes and stretched, pushing his legs down and raising his arms, pressing his palms against the wall as he worked out a little of the ache in his muscles.

He opened his eyes when he felt Jonny’s fingers stroking hesitantly at his side, the touch so light it tickled a little, made him shiver.

“Wow,” Kaner said, breaking into a grin and dropping his arms to nudge at Jonny. Jonny smiled back immediately.

“Wow,” he agreed, voice relaxed and easy. “That was... surprisingly not terrible.”

Kaner rolled his eyes and slapped Jonny lightly on his chest with the back of his hand. “Not terrible? That’s awesome, Tazer. That’s how we’re gonna remember our first time forever, now. Not fucking terrible.”

Jonny’s smile turned into a smirk, and he hauled himself out of bed to wander into the bathroom. Kaner lazily watched him go, wondering how he could walk and move and think already. Kaner still kind of felt like his spine had come out of his dick. Getting up was not yet an option.

After a minute he heard the shower start, and Jonny appeared back in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

“Spectacular? Mindblowing? The best sex I’ve ever had in my fuckng life?” He sounded completely bland and uninterested, his face still set in his default douchey expression of vaguely amused disdain. Kaner loved him.

“Wait, wait, hang on. Say all that again, let me record it on my phone.” Kaner laughed as Jonny just turned around and headed back into the bathroom, ignoring him. “Can I get you to sign a written statement?” he called after him. “An affidavit?”

“Jesus, Kaner, shut up and get in here,” Jonny yelled back and suddenly - like magic! - Kaner could move again. He bounded out of bed, ignoring the warning twinges in places he didn’t want to think about yet, and headed in.

Jonny was already in the shower, face angled up into the spray, and Kaner paused for a second, just to look. Just because now, for the first time, he could.

“You know, it’s really weird being attracted to you,” he said absently, as the steam curled around Jonny’s long, hard body and started to fill up the room.

Jonny poked his head out of the water and frowned. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Kaner cursed his stupid mouth. If there was a medal for ruining moments, he’d be a sure fucking bet, or at least a close second place to Jonny. He shrugged, standing there awkward and naked under that hard gaze.

“I dunno, man. It’s like, if you’re into guys, and you play sports, you train yourself not to look at your teammates. Because you know you can never touch.” He thought back through all the hundreds of locker room showers he’d had with Jonny, thought about always being careful not to sneak a peek. Thought about the way he’d give up when he was alone and end up jerking off thinking about Jonny’s ass anyway. And maybe there’d been a lot more of that going on than he’d ever admitted to himself. Probably.

“And now, like, there you are,” he added, gesturing. “And I can look all I want. It’s weird.” He shrugged again. “I didn’t say it was bad.”

Jonny’s face softened. “Get in here,” he said, and Kaner obediently stepped in under the hot spray. He tipped his head back and let Jonny move behind him and run a hand through his hair and Christ, it was almost as good as the sex. Well, no, it wasn’t, but it maybe felt a little bit like heaven.

“I know what you mean,” Jonny said in his ear. “I get it. I was just never very good at not looking.”

Kaner shivered. The thought of Jonny wanting him really fucking did it for him. He wondered how long it had gone on, how much looking Jonny had really done.

“Yeah?” he said softly. “So does that mean - I mean. Are you gay?” It was probably a pretty stupid question, really, but he thought he should know. Or at least make the effort to ask. Jonny never had answered him on that one, at least not with words.

But Jonny just shook his head. “Nope,” he said simply. Kaner sighed. It made a weird kind of sense, he supposed, despite the fact that Jonny had literally just had giant gay ass-sex with a dude. Nothing about Tazer was ever straightforward. But Kaner guessed he was gonna have plenty of time to figure it out.

“I don’t know what I am,” he offered instead of pressing the issue, letting Jonny turn him around and drape his arms over Kaner’s shoulders. “Mostly I’m just happy to have sex with whoever will fuck me and isn’t, you know, a total psychopath.” He thought about that for a second. “Present company excluded, obviously.”

“Hey,” Jonny murmured, and rested his forehead against Kaner’s. “But not anymore, right?”

Kaner tilted his head up, bumped his nose along Jonny’s wet cheek. “Not anymore,” he agreed, and then, because it was starting to get dangerously close to ‘embarrassing sex crying’ territory again, he decided it was time to change the subject. “So like, you wanna get busy soaping me up and shit?”

Jonny pulled back and made a face at him, but it was definitely hiding a smile. Kaner poked at him smugly.

“You do. Come on, babe, you got me all dirty, time to clean me up.”

Jonny raised his eyebrow. “Babe?” he said sourly, like Kaner had just called him ‘dog turd’ or ‘Kesler’ or something awful like that. Fuck that noise. Kaner was gonna give him pet names, and Jonny was gonna like it.

Yeah, babe,” Kaner said, bending down to grab a bottle of hotel shower gel. “Deal with it, bro. You’re stuck with me now.”

“I was already stuck with you,” Jonny sighed, stealing the bottle from him and unscrewing the cap. “It’s just now I can finally get you to blow me whenever I want. Much more convenient. Your mouth on tap.”

“Oh really, is that right,” Kaner said faintly, wondering how long it was gonna take before he could get it back up, and then trying to calculate that against how early they had to show for breakfast the next morning, and then giving up entirely. Because Jonny had squirted some of the shower gel onto a washcloth, and was slowly swiping it over Kaner’s chest and stomach and all right, fine, that was heaven.

“So, so we’re gonna...” Kaner licked his lips, and tried to concentrate on forming, like, words with his mouth, which was getting harder and harder to do as Jonny got more creative with the washcloth. He grabbed Jonny’s wrist, and caught his eye. “Jonny. We’re gonna be good, right?”

Jonny wrinkled his brow. “Yeah.” he said, like it was fucking obvious, like Kaner had just asked him if the sky was blue. “Pat. We’re gonna be awesome.” He pulled Kaner in for a tight hug, their bodies sliding together all wet and soapy and hot.

Kaner held his breath and thought about the last couple of weeks. About what it meant to be loved by Jonny.

Awesome was actually pretty damned accurate.

“Yeah,” he said, breathing the word out against Jonny’s chest. “Yeah, we totally fucking are.”




“Have you loved me since we were rookies?” Kaner asked, sliding into bed with his cell clutched between his ear and shoulder.

Jonny snorted, his amusement coming in crystal clear through the phone. “God, no.”

To be honest, Kaner wasn’t even offended. Both he and Jonny had essentially been horrible people as rookies. At least Kaner had grown out of it.

“What about when we won the Cup?”

“Eh,” said Jonny noncommittally, and Kaner pumped his fist. Of course Jonny had fucking loved him then. All of Chicago had loved him then.

“When I scored the winning goal?”

“I thought you were okay, I guess,” Jonny conceded. “But that could have just been, you know, the Cup speaking.”


Kaner wiggled around in bed, toeing off his socks, fluffing his pillows. “Is fucking me just as good as winning?”

“That’s a stupid question, Kaner,” Jonny said, which, Kaner knew, was his way of saying ‘no’ without hurting Kaner’s feelings. Also fair.

“Okay, fine. But you’ve definitely been into me for like, the last season, right?”

Jonny sighed. “What do you want from me, a pat on the head? Sure. I’ve been writing ‘Jonathan Toews-Kane’ in the back of all my notebooks for a year. Happy?”

“Yes,” Kaner said smugly, kicking his feet down through his cool sheets. “Except when we get gay Canada married it’s gonna be ‘Kane-Toews’. Just so you know.”

“Gay Canada married,” Jonny repeated blankly. “You’re a moron.”

“Whatever, babe, you love me. You think I’m great.”

“I think,” Jonny said, “That if you ever call me babe in front of anyone else I’m gonna tell Sharpy you cry during sex.”

“Oh my God,” Kaner screeched in horror, and reflexively hung up, dropping his phone onto the bed and staring at it like it was gonna bite him.

Ten seconds later, it started ringing.

“You hung up on me!” Jonny said, astonished, when Kaner answered. “What the fuck?”

“Take it back!” Kaner demanded. “You crazy fucking asshole.”

“No.” Jonny sounded way too cool and calm for someone who had just basically threatened to ruin Kaner’s life. “I’d totally do it. And how do you think Sharpy would put that information to work, Patrick?”

“It’d be like giving the nuke codes to a six-year-old,” Kaner replied sourly. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Jonny corrected mockingly. “You think I’m great.”

The depressing thing was, it was true. Kaner could appreciate the fuck out of a downright dirty play like that, even if it did make him shudder in horror.

“Yeah, fuck you. I’m gonna have nightmares tonight. What are you gonna do about that?”

Jonny lowered his voice. “Oh, I can probably think of one or two ways to get your mind off Sharpy before you go to sleep,” he said consideringly, and oh yeah, Kaner knew that tone. “You know, if you’re up for it.”

Kaner grinned, and reached out to flick off his bedside lamp. “Hey, Jonny?”


“What are you wearing?”