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complete me, mistreat me

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Zayn is not a morning person. Like the kind of anti-morning person that will probably respond to being woken up in the morning with stabbing the person who attempted to wake her up. Louis can’t remember ever seeing her awake before ten am, and the one time that he’s ever seen someone try to wake her up early was Harry when he and Zayn needed to submit their assignment together, and Louis is like, 50% sure Harry still has scars from the way she dug her nails into his arm. Harry almost needed stitches.

This is exactly the reason Louis wakes up with a jolt when he stirs from the dream where he was David Beckham’s son one morning to Zayn’s mouth on his dick. She pulls off with a glare when his jerk sends his dick too deep in her mouth, “Next time I’ll bite it off,” she growls and goes back to sucking happily, as if this isn’t the weirdest experience of Louis’ life (which in itself, having a morning blow job being the weirdest experience of his entire 25 years of life is arguably strange).

Louis moans when she does that thing with her tongue, spreading his legs further so she can get more comfortable between them. Her right hand ghosts over his balls, making his legs shake ever so slightly. His hands are clenched in the pillows at his head, knowing that if he touches Zayn’s hair she might bite it off, or worse; stop giving him some of the best head of his life. She pulls her mouth off for a moment, wanking him with her left hand, and sucking marks into the inside of his thigh, sending his head flying back into pillow.

Her mouth returns to the head of his dick, and the fingers of her right hand slip lower until her pointer finger, which he now realises is slicked up, presses against his hole, slipping in to the first knuckle. He whines, jerking up into her mouth ever so slightly, “What,” he gasps, looking down at where she’s all but sucking his brain out of his dick - at this stage he wouldn’t even be surprised, what with the fact he can’t even articulate a single thought - as if she’s not slowly sliding her finger deeper into his arse.

She curves it up and Louis sees stars behind his eyes, euphoria rushing through his veins and pushing out a weird mutated moan from his lips. He can practically feel Zayn smirking around where his dick is in her mouth, curving her finger up against it again, and again, until Louis’ legs are shaking out of control and his breath is catching in his throat. He barely feels when he comes, just feels the complete sense of zen wash through him and his hips rocking slower and slower until he’s totally zoned out.

“What,” he gasps when he can finally talk again, “what was that?”

Zayn grins, “God I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” she says, slipping her finger out of Louis’ arse (his fucking arse). She also pulls his boxers back up for him, which is nice.

“Why,” he mumbles, pushing his fringe out of his face.

“Just figured you’d like it,” she’s practically beaming, “I’m always right.”

Louis rolls his eyes, finally smiling back at her, “What if I was faking that?”

Zayn cocks her eyebrow, sliding up so she’s straddling him. “You’re telling me you faked ‘Zayn oh god, yes’ and ‘put another in’?”

Louis is pretty sure this is slander. There’s no way he’s ever said those things, which he repeats to Zayn only to get a laugh.

“You were that out of it I’m not surprised you don’t realise how desperate you got for it,” she leans in and kisses him deeply, running her thumb over his cheek. “Anyway, you have to shave and get Nahla and Marjana ready for school. I’ll do lunches.”

“What time is it?” Louis asks, looking over to the clock to see 8am. “Shit you’re up early.”

Zayn grins and kisses him deeply again, “I wanted to surprise you with a blowie before forcing you to do all the errands.”

Louis is so in love with this woman.




Louis has a pretty basic morning routine - slowly coax Zayn out of sleep so she can go and manage the Subway around the block (he always admires the way she strictly controls her hours so she never has to start before 11am), get himself ready for work at the pet shelter (in which he always puts his shirt on first so Zayn’s morning view is his arse as she begrudgingly wakes herself up), take the twins to school, and then get paid to genuinely hang out with animals all day. He has a super awesome life.

“Hey babe, have you started the paperwork for the twins’ birthday presents yet?” Zayn asks, leaning against the counter nursing a mug of tea in her hands. She’s dressed in her grey subway uniform, her black skinny jeans stained with what Louis can only assume is sauce and sanitiser.

He’s just come back from dropping the girls at school, listening to them yab on during the trip about how close it was to their sixth birthdays - counting down the days on their tiny fingers in between singing along to the Mulan soundtrack Zayn has raised them on. “Yeah, the foster family has ‘em now until I go get them on the fifth and Jordie said they’re good with all her kids so that’s promising.”

Zayn beams at him, “They’re going to love us! Puppies!”

“Until we have to feed them and clean up their crap and take them for walks, of course,” Louis teases. He honestly thinks he and Zayn are more excited about the prospect of puppies than they were about having kids - but then again, what nineteen year old really wants a kid that bad.

“God I don’t care about that, they’re going to be adorable, I love them already,” Zayn sips her tea, the glint of excitement still in her eyes.

“Your face is adorable,” he counters, moving over to her and sliding his arms around her waist, burying his head in her neck. “Wah, I don’t want to go to work. Let’s call in sickies and fuck all day.”

“Your job is to hang around with dogs and cats and every god damn animal on earth all day. Do you know what I do? Feed chavs who offer to give me their footlong daily, have people complain to me that the fifteen year old kid I hired isn’t an Olympic standard sandwich artist, and deal with the god damn register being updated every couple of weeks until nobody knows what the fuck they’re even selling anymore. It’s exhausting.”

Louis sucks a mark into the base of her neck, “Yeah, but,” he kisses along her throat, “you get to come home to me,” he presses a kiss to her cheek, “and have me go down on you every god damn night.”

Zayn laughs, leaning in for a kiss, “I gotta go to work, but I’m holding you to that.”

“Like it isn’t a given, I’d live down there if I could. I’d be the president of Zayn’s cooch. Or Prime Minister, does your vagina count as a part of the monarchy?” Louis steps out of the way, letting Zayn slip past him.

“As if my vagina isn’t its own free nation, get out of here,” she kisses him again, grabbing her car keys, “say hi to a puppy for me today, okay?”

“Always do, beautiful. Think of me when you eat that footlong.”

“You wish.”




On Saturday morning, Louis is woken up to the feeling of tiny hands shaking him awake. He blearily opens his eyes to see Nahla standing in front of him, with Marjana standing slightly behind her back, both with identical replica’s of Zayn’s smile on their faces. “What’s up my favourite girls?” He asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Daddy, Leif called and asked us if we want to sleep over! Can we ple-e-e-e-ease?” Nahla asks, schooling her face in to what Louis can only assume is one they’ve seen Louis himself giving Zayn when she won’t let him do something. However, usually it’s over something he should be doing. Ever.

“Did Harry say it was okay?” He’s still half asleep, and honestly even partially dead to the world he still wants to smash Harry over the head with a sack of potatoes for naming his goddamn daughter ‘Leif’. What the fuck was he thinking? Why did Caroline allow such a god awful thing to happen? Zayn’s guess is it was the morphine, but Louis strongly believes Harry just changed the birth certificate behind her back at the last second. Both, they’ve decided, are equally plausible.

Marjana nods from behind Nahla; she is the quieter of the two, more like Zayn than Louis in that aspect. Nahla is Louis in personality all over. Looks wise, both of the twins had inherited Zayn’s eyes, smile, skin tone and thick eyebrows, while they had Louis’ face shape, nose and body shape. They’re honestly the most gorgeous things Louis has ever seen, and he to this day, almost six years on, can’t believe his DNA contributed to such angels.

“I’ll call Harry and make sure, but if it’s definitely alright with him I don’t see why not,” Louis says, grinning at how the girls’ faces immediately lit up. “Now, careful not to wake mum, and I’ll make you girls some pancakes, how about that? 

“Yes please!” they said in unison, sneaking out of the bedroom like spies in a 50’s sitcom.

Louis grabs his phone off charge, slips out of bed (first making sure to pull the covers back up so Zayn doesn’t get a chill, and so she can wake up and instantly cocoon herself within the doona) and slips out into the hallway, pulling Harry’s number up on his contacts. The phone is only ringing for like, two seconds before Harry’s irritatingly cheerful for nine in the morning voice chirps a ‘hiya!’. Nobody should be happy in the morning. It’s an insult to humanity - but then again, so is naming your daughter Leif.

“Hey. So, is it really okay for the girls to stay tonight?” 

Harry laughs into the phone, Louis rolls his eyes, “Yeah of course it is! When Leif asked me she gave me those puppy eyes, y’know, so I had to say yes. Plus Caz and I love having Marjana and Nahla over, they’re such incredible girls, honestly you and Zayn have done such a go-”

“Thanks Haz! Just needed to make sure so Zayn wouldn’t be pissy with me for like, forcing them on you or whatever.”

“It’s never forcing them, honestly, bring them over any day of the week, we love your girls, absolutely incredible kids, like, you’ve got good ones Lo-”

“Anyway, Haz, I gotta go, sorry to cut you off. Promised the twins I’d make ‘em breakfast. Love you man, see you later.” He waits until Harry has mumbled out some form of goodbye before hanging up on him, shoving his phone into the pocket of his trackies.

Louis walks out into the kitchen, where the twins are already sitting at the counter, a bottle of pancake mix sitting in front of them. “You planned this, didn’t you?” He says, with feigned shock.

The twins giggle, hiding their mouths behind their hands, “No daddy!” Nahla says once they’ve stopped, giving him her most angelic smile.

“Hmm, okay, I’ll believe you this time,” Louis boops them both on the nose, filling the bottle up with tap water and starting to shake it, “Are you both excited to stay with Leif tonight?”

Marjana nods, “She got a Phoebe Bratz doll the other day so we’re gonna play dolls all night!”

“My Sasha is gonna marry her Jade!” Nahla adds, looking like she’s about to explode with happiness.

“My, my, and you didn’t invite me and mummy to the wedding?” Louis teases, lighting the stove and pouring out the batter.

Nahla giggles again, “Don’t be silly daddy, it’s a kids wedding! No adults allowed.”

Louis places a hand over his heart, looking upset. “At least tell me you’re not taking ‘Mulan’ with you so mummy and I have something to do without you two?”

“Yup!” Marjana says with a grin, “And ‘Finding Nemo’ too!”

“Oh dear, mum and I will have nothing to do without you girls and ‘Mulan’!” Louis flips the first pancakes, making sure they’re roughly the same size so the girls don’t fight. “Make sure Uncle Harry takes lots of pictures at the wedding for mummy and I.”

“Okay daddy,” Nahla replies before running over to the couch to watch cartoons, with Marjana close behind her.




By the time Zayn stumbles down the hallway rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the girls are already dressed with bags packed full of their clothes, dolls and DVDs that Louis is positive Harry would own already. “What’s this?” Zayn says as she sees the packed Dora bags sitting against the couch.

“Our girls are staying with Harry and Caroline tonight, Haz already said it’s fine,” Louis sets a cup of coffee - two sugars, a dash of milk - in front of Zayn on the counter.

Zayn smiles at him in thanks as she says her good morning’s to the girls, “So mummy and daddy have the whole house to themselves this weekend?”

Louis waggles his eyebrows, leaning back against the counter in a way he knows exposes the tan skin of his stomach, still dark from soccer season. “Depends how long Haz keeps them, but I’m thinking we could even get a Sunday night sleep over.”

He watches Zayn down her coffee in like, three gulps before she sets her cup down in the sink, “When’s he coming then?” she smirks, pressing Louis against the counter. Her hands instantly slide around to grip Louis’ ass, giving it a quick squeeze.

“Twelve, still got to wait an hour, darling.” Louis cups her jaw with his hand, pulling her into a deep kiss. As per usual, his free hand slides up under her (really, his) shirt to cup her breast, rubbing his thumb over the nipple. “Then I can do all the things I’ve been waiting to do to you this whole week, just want to go down on you,” he whispers, making sure the kids can’t hear him. “Can’t stop thinking about the noises you make and how much I love when you pull my hair because it’s so good.”

Zayn pulls back, her eyes dark with lust, he thinks she’s just going to come back at him with some dry wit or tease him for how he’s already hard, but instead what he gets is, “Well I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to try one of my old toys on you,” which. If his dick was half hard, it was definitely on its way to full blown blue balls territory. He watches her eyes flick down to where he’s tenting his pants and back to his lips, “I thought you’d like that, considering how much you loved just my fingers.”

“Mum! Can you help me choose which clothes to pack with Sasha?” Nahla calls suddenly from the lounge room, snapping the two of them out of their weird trance.

“Be there in a second, honey!” Zayn replies, pressing a final kiss to Louis’ lips and squeezing the tent of his pants.

“You play dirty,” he mutters, trying to remind his dick that unless it goes down it’ll be hurting for at least another hour.




Harry shows up at twelve on the dot, Leif standing beside him with a Cheshire grin matching her father’s. As soon as Louis’ opened the door though, she runs straight past him into the living room, where he hears Nahla and Marjana’s excited squeals as soon as she reaches them.

“Thanks for taking them tonight, Haz,” Louis says, closing the door behind Harry once he’s inside.

Harry waves him off, “Can’t thank me, I offered. Where’s Zayn?” 

“You’re here talking to me and the first person you ask for is my wife? Honestly, I’m offended,” Louis says as Zayn walks into the room. She’s been getting ready for the last hour, her makeup and hair done immaculately to match the leggings and oversized jumper she’s dressed in. 

Zayn laughs, moving up to wrap her arm around Louis’ waist, “You can’t really blame him can you? You’re wearing that dumb Blink-182 shirt again; you look like a rejected extra from American Pie.” 

Harry snortles – a sound Louis honestly didn’t think existed outside of badly written stories – and throws his head back so hard that Louis is sure his man bun may actually fly off of his head and bounce around the room like a pin ball.

The girls bolt around the corner, the twins dragging their suitcases behind them. “Bye mum, bye dad,” they say, going to run past them out the door.

“Hey!” Zayn shouts, making the twins stop in their tracks with equally wide eyes. “Give us a hug will you?” She opens her arms, the girls instantly falling into them. “Don’t be too cruel to Harry, alright? We’ll know – and make sure you take a lot of pictures; you have the camera, right? Good.” She squeezes them a little longer before letting them go so that they can hug Louis, squeezing him tight.

“I love you both, stay safe,” He says, kissing them on the temples. Louis lets them go, and shoots a wink at Harry. “They’re all yours, my man.”

Harry gives them both a hug before ushering all the girls out the door into his big soccer mum van (which Louis knows for a fact Harry bought of his own free will), and pulls out of the block.

Louis and Zayn barely make it to the bed before they’re falling into each other.




“Hey babe,” Louis starts, sucking a mark into the inside of Zayn’s thigh, waiting for the sound of her soft gasp, “do you think we could try the thing… like, when you – you know – with your fingers again?”

Zayn gasps again as he kisses up her thigh, running her fingers through his hair, “Of course, whatever you want,” she smiles down at him, her legs spreading further apart, “you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

He slips two of his fingers inside of her, listening to the intake of her voice. “I’m not embarrassed; I was just thinking it’s kind of a weird thing to ask your wife for.”

“It sounds like,” her voice hitches as he curls them against that spot inside of her, “sounds like you’re embarrassed.”

His thumb rests against her clit as he fucks his fingers inside of her, returning to sucking marks at the insides of her thighs, he feels her tensing as she comes around his fingers before she makes the moan he’s become so accustomed to. “I’m seriously not embarrassed, I’ve just never done that or had it done to me before, so I’m just surprised I liked it as much as I did.”

Zayn smiles, kissing him softly, “Well if you want to experiment with that stuff we can try out one of my dildos – if you’re really feeling adventurous, that is.”

Louis presses his lips to hers, not moving, just pressed, while he thinks about it. Fuck it, he decides. “I’ll try anything once, you know me, babe.”




Louis’ legs have never shaken this much. Zayn’s fingers are a steady pressure inside of him, curling up into that spot every so often just to see if Louis will react any differently than pressing back desperately and letting out a high pitched moan. The dildo that she intends to use on him has rolled so that it’s pressed against his leg, the silicone rubbing against his leg every time it shakes.

Zayn’s slick fingers slide out of him suddenly and he hears the click of the lube as the foreboding pressure of the dildo is removed from his leg. “Are you ready, babe?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I reckon,” Louis replies, arching his back up for her.

The head of the dildo is pressed against his hole and Louis’ breathing hitches. His eyes are squeezed so tightly shut he can almost hear a ringing in his ears – though he can still slightly hear Zayn’s voice counting down from three before the silicone starts to press inside of him.

He’s so full suddenly, the dildo stretching him more than he’s ever felt (although logically he knows it’s the smallest one Zayn owns, barely as wide as three of her fingers and only about four or five inches long). Louis lets out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding, spreading his legs further to make it easier for Zayn.

“You still good, babe?” Zayn asks, stilling the dildo inside of Louis.

Louis nods, taking a deep breath, “Feels alright so far.”

Zayn laughs behind him, rocking it slightly, “I hadn’t even moved it yet, you loser.”

“You know, I distinctively remember you reacting like I am the first time I fu-“ Louis’ words catch in his throat as Zayn starts to thrust the dildo in short, shallow movements that have him cursing under his breath.

“What was that?” Zayn states, rather than asks. He knows her well enough to realise when she’s just being sarcastic.

Louis is like, seventy percent sure he’s never been this hard in his life. He reaches his hand down to stroke him in time with Zayn’s thrusts, only to have her slap his hand away and do it for him instead. “You know this is all about you, don’t make me feel like I’m doing a shitty job.”

Louis’ laugh is quietened by a sudden harder thrust which brushes the dildo closer to that spot inside of him that has him gasping. “Close to it,” he mutters, pressing his hips back against where Zayn is fucking inside of him, and then down into her fist.

Zayn thrusts it hard again, changing the angle until the head of the thing is punching perfectly into his prostate, sending him grabbing for one of the pillows (his own, Zayn would murder him) to muffle his sounds into. He’s so, so fucking close already, rocking between the feelings of his arse being filled and Zayn’s hand around his dick.

“Fuck,” he rasps, fucking into Zayn’s fist a few more times before releasing, desperately trying to catch his breath against the wet spot on his pillow he’d left.

“That was so hot,” Zayn says, pressing a kiss to Louis’ shoulder before lying down beside him. “We seriously need to keep doing this.”

Once she’s slid the dildo from his arse and thrown it to the ground to clean up later, Louis is rolling her onto her back and sliding down between her legs. He barely registers her ‘that good was I?’ before he’s sucking her clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it in rough fast licks he knows that she loves. It’s barely a minute before her back is arching up hard as she comes, her hands twisted in his hair.

“Definitely doing that more, then,” she says.




The twins’ birthdays come so quickly that Louis swears they were only three the week before. Their house is full of screaming, excited kids running around with Bratz dolls, Superhero dolls, and god knows what else. Zayn had just fed all the kids party pies and sausage rolls at the big table they set up in the yard, meaning it’s almost time for him to make the ‘big reveal’ to the girls.

Jordie is out the front with the puppies in little cat carriers in her car so that the girls wouldn’t hear them barking inside Louis and Zayn’s room this morning. Zayn slides up to him, “I’m getting the kids inside now, make sure Jordie’s ready babe,” she says before disappearing to usher the kids all outside. 

“Hey we’re ready for them now,” Louis says once he’s at the car window, hearing the puppies yap in excitement.

Jordie nods, getting out of the car and grabbing the carrier from the backseat, “They’ll love them, stop panicking,” Jordie says, her green eyes crinkling at the corners with her smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a child – or adult for that matter – who isn’t the least bit in love with a puppy.”

“How could you tell?” Louis asks, taking one of the carriers from Jordie’s hand.

Jordie cocks her eyebrow, “Darling I’m a grandmother, you think I don’t know nerves about gifts?”

Louis acts shocked, putting his free hand over his heart, “Jordie, you could not be a grandmother, you don’t look a single day over 25!”

Jordie gives him a smack on the arm, looking over to where Zayn is waving the two of them inside.




To the girls’ credit, they keep their squeals in until all of the other kids have gone home. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone as happy as the girls were to be handed over the tiny pups. In fact, he thinks they’re still deciding on names for them (although Nahla is absolutely set on Merida, after her favourite Disney character, while Marjana is still tossing up between Tiana and Mulan).

Louis has just tucked them in, their puppies curled up on the ends of their beds. Zayn is sitting up in bed, her hair back in a messy bun as she reads the latest ‘Deadpool’ comic. She bookmarks the page (she’s honestly the only person he’s ever met who bookmarks comics) and smiles up at him. “Girls fall asleep well?”

“Yeah out like lights, took a while to convince them to let the puppies sleep, though,” he says, winking at her as he slips his shirt off, climbing into bed beside her.

“You know they’re basically going to be our responsibility though, yeah?” Zayn says, turning on her side to face Louis.

“Oh, yeah,” Louis nods, smirking, “at least they’re cute though.”

“Mm, you know I got you some gifts too?”

Louis arches his eyebrow, sitting up straight, “Where?”

Zayn giggles, rolling away from Louis to dig through her nightstand. Once she surfaces, she dumps a lot of… sex toys onto the bed between them. Louis’ eyes widen as he looks through them, most noticeable being the strap on and anal vibrator. “Fuck,” he mumbles, picking up the ‘Hot ‘N’ Cold’ lube to inspect it closer, “For me?”

“Well, for us. So we can do more of that stuff with your arse,” Zayn winks at him, picking up the prostate massager Louis had been pointedly ignoring. “If you want to, like, don’t think I’m forcing it on you because I bought it.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, I definitely want to try it,” he licks his lips, “when did you even have time to buy this stuff?

“Why do you think I made you organise the puppies with Jordie?” Zayn leans in to kiss him. “Next time the kids are out we can try some, yeah?” 

Louis nods, kissing her again. “No questions about it.”




It’s not like Louis isn’t usually up at 8.10 anyway, but when he’s awoken by this text from Harry 

Harry Styles – 8.03am
Hey Louis, it’s Harry! How are you this beautiful morning? I hope you and Zayn are well ha-ha. I’m just texting because Caroline, Leif and I are heading to Legoland in Windsor for the long weekend, and we were wondering if Nahla and Marjana would be interested, if that’s alright with the two of you. Please get back soon, love Harry, Caroline, Leif, and Bono the dog (lol) xx.

It’s safe to say he’s going to be grumpy. He groans, reads it again, and groans some more. He honestly just can’t be bothered with Harry’s super dad-like messages, more-so before his first cuppa of the morning. He types out an ‘ok I’ll talk to Z when she wakes up J’ in response, hoping that Harry will understand the passive aggressiveness of the smiley face – it’s wishful thinking, he knows, but he still holds hope for Harry, even after all these years (even after he named his daughter Leif). 

Harry Styles – 8.06am
Hello Louis, we’ll be waiting on your reply with bated breath! [fingers crossed emoji] Love you and the girls. Haz xx

Louis swears his eye is twitching. Nobody can be that thick, can they? Is that possible? He takes a deep breath and rolls out of bed, making sure Zayn is completely covered by the doona. He tiptoes down the hall to check on the girls, knocking on their door to wake them up, “Gotta get up for school, darlings,” he says, kissing them both on the forehead.

He makes his way to the kitchen, letting the puppies into the backyard, before making himself a cup of tea and starting toast for the twins. By the time they both stumble out rubbing their eyes, Louis is spreading strawberry jam across their toast and handing it to them, the early morning cartoons playing on the TV behind them. “Hey girls, how would you two like to go to Legoland this weekend with Uncle Harry and Auntie Caroline?” He asks, watching their faces light up.

“Really?!” Marjana asks, almost dropping her toast in excitement. Nahla looks too shocked to even reply, her mouth hanging open in shock.

“Well of course I’ve got to talk to mummy when she wakes up about it, but I don’t see why she’d have a problem with you two going and having some fun with Leif,” he smiles as they start jumping in their seats, excitedly chattering about what they’re going to do at the park.

Zayn walks into the room then, her eyes still half closed and puffy as she takes in the excitement before her, “What’s all this about, then?”

“Harry and Caroline have offered to take the girls to Legoland this long weekend, if you’re cool with it. I told him I’d have to ask you before saying anything definite in case we’ve got plans,” Louis sips his tea, watching Zayn completely wake up within the time he was speaking.

“Yeah of course they can go! Should I get money out to give Haz after work?” Zayn walks out of the room for a second to let the dogs back inside.

Louis shrugs, “I can do it if you’re there later than the bank’s open, babe. I only work until two on Thursdays.”

Zayn gives him The Look, as though he was undermining her by assuming she didn’t know his work schedule back to back. “I’ll get it, don’t worry. Girls, can you go start getting ready for school please?”

Once the girls are out of the room, Zayn gives him a hard squeeze to his arse, kissing at his neck, “Got a chance to use all our new toys now, huh?” she whispers into his ear.

Louis’ breath gets shaky, turning to look her in the eyes, “Kinky weekend by ourselves? Count me in, babe.”

Zayn laughs, kissing him slowly. “Yeah, yeah. I need to get ready for work, am I taking the girls to school or are you?”

“I don’t start until later, so I was kind of hoping you would,” he grins his most trustworthy grin, only to have Zayn cock her eyebrow in response.

“Fine, I’ll take them, but you’ll pay for it this weekend, alright?”

Louis doesn’t doubt it for a second.




Once the girls are packed and ready to go on Friday morning, Harry and Caroline are at the house within ten minutes, the back of their SUV looking absolutely packed with luggage and stuff for the kids to do during the drives in the backseat.

“Be safe,” Zayn says, cuddling the kids as tightly as possible before letting them run off to the car, sliding into the backseat with Leif, whose long, curly hair was back in a ponytail for the first time Louis remembers ever seeing.

Louis hugs Harry tightly, warning him about keeping his girls out of trouble before slipping him the £200 he and Zayn figured would cover the girl’s entries and any keepsakes they’d want to buy.

As soon as Harry’s car is out of sight, however, Louis and Zayn are running back inside, closing the front door behind them. Louis presses Zayn against the front door, kissing her hard and fast, his hands sliding up underneath her dress to press against where she’s already bare naked and soaking.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he mutters, unbuttoning his pants with his free hand and slipping them down until his hard cock is free, before he slides both his hands down to reach under her thighs and hold her up against the door. He fucks inside of her with practised ease, her fingers twisting in his hair and scratching at his shoulders.

“Louis,” she moans, pulling at his hair so that he’s sucking at her throat, knowing exactly the spot to focus on to make her come, “fuck, close,” she gasps out, clenching down around him before she’s coming, her body convulsing with the intensity.

If there’s anything Louis will never bore of, it’s watching Zayn come undone, the way she completely loses herself to the feeling and just relaxes into it – plus, it makes him come really hard, really fast, which is exactly what happens a few thrusts later, with a loud moan into Zayn’s neck. “God, you’re perfect,” he mutters finally, his breathing still rough as he lets her down, not missing the way her legs wobble once she touches solid ground.

“If you think I’m perfect now, you’ll be in awe of what I’m planning for you this weekend,” she winks, sliding past him on her way to the bedroom. “You are coming, right?”




If there was anything Louis was expecting of the night ahead of him, being handcuffed to his headboard was not one of them. It’s something he and Zayn have done before, with either of them being the one handcuffed, but he just wasn’t expecting their night to be this level of kinky.

Zayn’s sitting on the bed in one of her favourite lingerie dresses, one with a lacy bra, and see through dress that ended just below her arse, which is covered with only black lace knickers. She’s got the ‘Hot ‘N’ Cold’ lube in her hand and a smirk on her lips. He’s honestly been hard ever since she locked him into the handcuffs while she was still in her day dress. Actually, he’s probably been hard all day.

She pours the lube onto her hand before instantly wrapping it around Louis’ dick, coating the entire thing with the lube. Louis gasps as he feels it start to heat up, barely noticing that Zayn has slicked her fingers up more until one of them is slipping inside of him, slowly thrusting as the lube heats up more, sending shivers up and down his spine.

“How’s that feeling?” She asks, slipping a second finger into him.

God,” is all he can say, pressing back onto her fingers. He’s moaning softly, his cock twitching as the lube gets warmer, starting to feel like when he’s inside of Zayn. Her fingers are fucking into him faster now, curling up against that spot inside of him that has him fucking the air, his hands pulling against the handcuffs securing him to the bed.

His breath stops in his throat as the lube goes cold suddenly, far faster than it got hot, sending his toes curling into the sheets as he fucks down onto Zayn’s fingers, a soft whine tearing its way from his throat. His eyes shoot open when he feels something metallic against his cock; looking down to see the new vibrator Zayn had bought. “Fuck,” he mutters, signalling her to turn it on.

It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before, the constant buzzing making his legs shake harder than he remembers happening in his entire life. “It’s – I’m – Zayn,” he mumbles, feeling her fingers fuck harder inside of him as she moves the vibrator up and down his cock. He feels like he’s already coming, but he knows that he’s not.

Zayn pulls her fingers and the vibrator away from him then, making him thrust up desperately into empty air. “Please, no, Zayn, I need it,” he whimpers, still shooting his hips up.

“Just wait, babe. I need to order dinner,” she says in the most sarcastic voice Louis thinks he’s ever heard. He thinks she’s just kidding at first, until she picks her phone up off the nightstand and leaves the room.

By the time she’s come back, he’s grinding his arse down into the bed, as though it’ll somehow relieve his tension or make him come. Zayn whistles at the sight, kneeling back on the bed and reaching for the vibrator, slicking it up and reaching down to press it inside of him.

Once she turns it on it barely takes any thrusts before Louis is coming so hard it shoots up to his neck, and sending his eyes rolling back into his head. It’s easily the hardest he’s ever come in his life, his body arching up and pressing down into the mattress, trying desperately to extend his orgasm.

“God that was so fucking hot,” Zayn says, beaming at where Louis is slumping down into the mattress, with his chest heaving like wild. “You should have seen yourself just then, babe that was actually insane.”

“It was all you,” Louis says once he’s regained the ability to speak finally. “Fuck that was like, the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my entire life, I swear to you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Zayn slips her lingerie over her head, pulling on one of Louis’ t-shirts he’d left on the floor. She uncuffs him, making sure he hasn’t hurt his wrists while pulling at them. “I love you so much, Louis.”

Louis cocks his eyebrow, “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you after you made me almost take my own eye out?”

Zayn giggles, slapping him softly on his bicep, “Say it back you loser.”

“I love you too, beautiful girl. When’s the pizza coming?”




Zayn fucks Louis with the strap on the next night, Zayn holding it steady so that Louis can fuck himself down on it desperately, wanking himself off as he presses it perfectly against his prostate as deep as he can take it.

“You know riding you is actually really tiring,” he says once he and Zayn have cleaned themselves off, and they’re curled up underneath the doona together.

Zayn laughs while simultaneously rolling her eyes. “Oh, is it really? You don’t say, babe.”

“I just wouldn’t expect you to understand,” he replies with a sarcastic huffed laugh.




The phone rings while Louis has his face buried in Zayn’s cunt, slowly tracing all the letters of the alphabet into her clit in his own personal form of revenge for the other night. His fingers are curling inside of her every so often, keeping her on her toes.

“Answer it,” he mumbles, before returning to where he was tracing an ‘H’ into her clit. She laughs softly before reaching for her phone and sliding to answer it.

“Hi, Harry,” she says breathily, reacting openly to the way Louis was now sucking at her clit with intent, his fingers quickening inside of her. “Yeah, we’re- we’re good. How are the… the girls? Shit.” Zayn curls her fingers into his hair, squeezing tightly in what Louis knows is a warning – but that’s why they call it revenge, isn’t it?

“That’s awesome, I’m – yeah, I’m feeling a bit under the – the weather,” Zayn says, her voice breaking as she gets closer to the edge, “Yeah! Send them to Lou, he’ll uh, love them. I’ll have to c-call you back.” She hangs up the phone, twists her hand hard into Louis’ hair and comes with a shout, almost pulling his hair out of his scalp.

“I’m going to kill you if you ever do that again,” Zayn says, although she’s grinning.

“Trust me I don’t doubt that for a second, babe.”




Zayn can barely look at Harry on the Monday afternoon when he brings the girls back to their house, excitedly yelling about all the stuff they’d done at Legoworld and about how they’d met the main characters from all the Lego movies. Once they’re done saying hello to their puppies, that is. 

Harry pulls Louis aside, though, handing him a packet of cold and flu tablets with a smile. “Make sure Zayn feels better, yeah? She sounded so ill on the phone I was worried for her.”

Louis smirks, but takes them happily, “You really didn’t have to, Hazza. She’s feeling a lot better today.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Harry says, tipping his fedora at Louis. “I’d better go, though, Leif’s absolutely fast asleep in the backseat. Have a nice night, guys. I’ll email you all the pictures when I get home.”

Louis says his goodbyes to Harry, slipping inside and handing the medicine to Zayn, who looks positively mortified. “At least I didn’t tell him what we were actually doing, darling.”

He kind of deserves the slap she gives him for that.




Louis is face down in the pillow, Zayn fucking into him with the strap on. Her hands are gripping his hips, pulling him back in time with her thrusts. He’s biting the pillow so hard he’s surprised he hasn’t torn it yet; in fear of waking the girls (Zayn’s told him he’s louder than he actually thinks whenever they do this, like he can even help it with the way this feels).

He doesn’t hear the door open, but he does hear Nahla’s voice when she says, “Mummy? What are you and daddy doing?”

Louis instantly stills, feeling Zayn push him down to be lying flat and pulling the blanket over them before sliding out of him. “Nothing, honey, we’re just playing a game!” Zayn says. “Go back to bed sweetheart; I’ll be there to tuck you in in a second.”

Nahla nods before walking out of the room. Louis is like, three hundred percent sure that this is worse than it would be to be struck by lightning – over a hundred times. She’s never going to forget what she just walked in on. Fuck, Louis can still remember walking in on his mum and Mark when he was like, four. What chance does he have of Nahla forgetting something as different as seeing her father being the one taking it from her mother?

“Is something wrong babe?” Zayn says, already having unclipped the strap on’s harness, slipping on some track pants.

“She’s always going to remember that."

“All kids walk in on their parents having sex, Louis, don’t worry about it,” Zayn says, kissing him on the back of the head.

Louis whines, turning his head to face her, “Yeah but most kids don’t walk in on mummy fucking daddy’s arse.”

“Babe,” Zayn sighs, “she’ll just think that she remembered it wrong, or she’ll actually forget. It’s the middle of the night, she’s tired.”

Louis huffs, covering his face where it’s by now gone bright red, “I guess you’re right.”

“Now I’m going to go tuck her back in, and you’re going to wait here so we can finish off what we started.”

She’s back within three minutes, claiming that Nahla was already asleep by the time she got there. Zayn puts Louis on his stomach, kissing his arse softly. “I want to try something we haven’t done on you, yet.”

“What’s that?” He asks, turning his head back to face her.

Zayn grins up at him, spreads his arse cheeks and licks over his hole softly, making him gasp. “Yeah?” she asks, her breath ghosting over the wetness and giving him shivers.

Yeah,” he mutters, spreading his legs for her.

Zayn dives into it, one of her hands stroking his cock as she licks into him, making him moan softly into the pillow. He thrusts shallowly into her hand, already close from the strap on. Her tongue is fucking into him, almost like it’s enough but not enough all at once, causing him to rock back against her eagerly.

She starts to jerk his cock properly now, pressing her thumb in hard under the crown. Louis comes with a shout, fucking his hips down into her fist quickly. “God, no wonder you love that so much.”

“You love doing it, you mean – and now I understand why you love doing it so much,” she says, wiping her mouth on her arm. “I’d kiss you but… probably going to need to do my teeth again first.”

“You really know how to ruin a romantic moment, babe.”




Louis is in the middle of organising paperwork on the computers for a new foster family when he’s interrupted by a call from Zayn, who literally never calls while he’s at work. Not even when she went into labour with Nahla and Marjana.

“Hello?” He exclaims, almost yelling into the phone, “Is everything okay? Babe, how are you?”

“Chill,” Zayn says, although her voice sounds nervous. “Um, I’m just calling hon because I was wondering when your lunch break is? I really need to see you in person, and I uh, I really don’t need the kids to hear this just yet.”

‘Oh my god,’ Louis thinks, ‘this is it, she’s finally fucking through with you, you useless fuck, you didn’t do everything she could ever want, your Geography teacher was right, you’ll never amount to anything, you can’t even keep the best thing in your life from leaving you.’

“Babe, it’s nothing bad, it’s just something I can’t tell you over the phone, I can hear your panic from here,” Zayn laughs, “Can we meet at that Mugaccino place near the shelter?”

“Yeah, I uh, I have lunch in like twenty minutes will that work?”

“Perfect! I’ll see you then, I love you.”

“Love you too, babe,” Louis says before hanging up. He’s never been this scared before. This is like, if Zayn wants to divorce him it’s not like he can stop her, he wants her to be happy; he could never wish an unhappy marriage upon her. It’s just – he also can’t imagine his life without her.




Louis is fidgeting with the cup of tea in his hands, and Zayn with the coffee she bought. She looks absolutely beautiful for someone who’s been at work since 5am, her hair hasn’t even been ruined by the stupid subway hats that they have to wear, and the hideous lime green shirt actually looks perfect with her dark skin.

“So,” Zayn says, taking a deep breath. “I know that you’re absolutely panicking about this, but like, this is seriously something we need to talk about in person, yeah?” Louis nods. “Okay, so, I know we always said that we’re super happy with Nahla and Marjana because we got two kids in one go which is honestly perfect, even though I’ve still got the bloody stretch marks all over m’ stomach. That being said, however, um, my period is late. Like, really late – and I don’t think you pulled out every single time we fucked that weekend where Haz took the girls, which isn’t entirely your fault, I know, because I should have been paying attention, it’s not your fault birth control makes me unbearably nauseous –”

“You’re rambling, babe,” Louis says, crinkling his eyebrows together.

Zayn rests her hand on her forehead, laughing softly. “You’re right, fuck. I’m sorry, I just didn’t know how you’d take this news. The thing I’m trying to say though, is that I think I’m pregnant.”

Louis’ jaw drops.

Zayn laughs nervously, downing half of her coffee in one gulp.

“We’re having another baby?” Louis asks, a smile breaking out across his face.

“Maybe,” Zayn says, grinning back at him, “well, probably more likely than maybe.”

“This is the best news you’ve ever told me why the hell would you ever word it like ‘we need to talk’ when everyone on Earth knows that only bad things come from that statement? I’ve been panicking like hell the last twenty minutes; like I’m almost seventy percent sure you’ve given me a damn ulcer.”

Zayn winks at him, “Reinventing the meaning of it, aren’t I darling?”





“Babe, no, stay in bed,” Louis says, ushering Zayn back onto the mattress. “Don’t stress yourself out you need to be careful. I’ve already cleaned the house, the girls are in the lounge room watching Dora or something, I went down to the shops and got you like, every pregnancy pill that they had so don’t worry about that.”

Zayn cocks her eyebrow at him, trying to sit up only to have Louis press her back to lie down. “Babe, I’m like three and a half months I’m still fine to get out of bed."

“Yeah but, doesn’t mean it’s totally safe. You should just stay in bed, babe, I got Netflix up on the TV to your account so you can watch anything you want to.”

Zayn rolls her eyes, giving him The Look he’s so familiar with. He pointedly ignores it, and kisses her on the forehead, pulling back with a smile. “I love you, just relax, okay?” 

“Fine, I will relax for you, you absolute loser.”

Louis kisses her again, leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He walks out to the living room, where the twins are whispering heatedly, their puppies curled up on the lounge beside them. “What are you two bickering about?” Louis asks, rolling the sleeves of his jumper up. 

“Is mummy sick?” Marjana asks, looking extremely upset.

“What? Why do you think that?”

“She’s been throwing up every morning and now you’re not letting her leave bed,” Nahla chimes in, tears filling her eyes.

Louis moves over to them so fast he’s almost running and pulls them into hugs, “No, your mummy isn’t sick girls, don’t think that. She’s… you’re going to have a new little brother or sister.”

“What!” The twins exclaim together, their mouths dropping open. Louis can’t help but think that they always look most like him when they’re shocked – like, down to the mouth shape and everything.

“Yes, mummy’s pregnant, that’s why she’s lying down for today and she’s been throwing up. Those are some things that happen when mums are carrying babies in their belly, like when mummy had you two,” he pinches their noses, earning squeals of delight from them.

“So now I’m going to be an even bigger big sister!” Marjana says, puffing up her chest like a warrior.

“Yeah, I guess you are,” Louis says, beaming at them both. “Now how about we make some pancakes for mummy to enjoy while she’s in bed watching her movies, hmm?”




Louis wakes up to a mouth wrapped around his cock, and a vibrator pressing at his arse. He immediately jolts up, looking down at where Zayn is enthusiastically sucking him, before turning the vibrator on. He yelps softly, letting his head rest back against the pillow with a soft thud as he loses himself to the feeling of Zayn’s mouth. “God, babe, you’re pregnant, you don’t – oh, shit – have to do this.”

“I know I don’t have to,” she says matter-of-factly, having pulled off his cock, “I want to, and plus, it’s like four months, can you please chill out. It’s not even twins this time.”

Louis nods, moaning as Zayn takes him back into her mouth. He guesses he can deal with it, if his mornings keep starting like this (although, realistically he knows that’s never going to happen – Zayn just wants him to relax and probably let her leave the bedroom – but hey, he’s really not complaining).