The full moon is coming up and it’s making me nervous.
Ed too. Jesse seems to be the only one unperturbed. We haven’t had a job in a few days since the gravemouth thing so I go do my tutoring, Ed teaches her classes, and Jesse…does his thing. A lot of that is lying around in his wolf shape snoozing or watching TV. After his lungs get better he goes running. I ask to come with him once and he says I can’t keep up. That pisses me off because I’m in good shape so I go with him anyway. He starts off at something three-quarters of the way to a sprint and just keeps on fucking going. Turns out I can’t keep up. I do my own loop and come home. He returns over an hour later, breathing hard but otherwise basically fine.
That also pisses me off. But he looks kinda apologetic and tells me he wasn’t showing off, it’s just the physical stimulus of running that helps distract him. Then I’m thinking about the moon again and I’m nervous.
It’s not until the night after tomorrow. Jesse’s not worried so I shouldn’t be either. The shower helps, the lukewarm water running down my face, chest and back. Almost noon and the heat’s already starting to suck. As I head back to my room the door slams from downstairs. Ed’s got afternoon classes. Time to get a little work done.
I should be grading assignments but find myself not doing that; twenty minutes in and I’ve got two notebooks and a dictionary open on my desk with twelve tabs up in my browser and three Word documents minimized. Then there’s a knock at my door. I freeze for a quick second before realizing that neither Jesse nor Ed will have any idea what they’re looking at—probably—so I just hide my browser, flip my notebooks closed and call “What is it?”
Jesse opens the door and says, “Hey. Wanna fuck?”
I stare at him. He must be joking. But he doesn’t look like he’s joking, more like he’s waiting for an answer. “I—what?” I splutter.
“Do you wanna fuck? Full moon’s tomorrow night. Fucking helps.”
“Are you kidding me?” I stand and shove my chair back, having no real idea why I’m so offended. “What are—why are you asking me?”
Jesse raises his hands. “Hey, just seemed like you’d be interested. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
He’s serious. “You’re…serious.”
Jesse wants to fuck. Me, specifically, the twenty-five-year-old virgin whose idea of a wild Saturday night is watching Netflix documentaries until four in the morning. I need to stall for time. “Hang on. You wanna fuck because—“
“—full moon’s coming up and I’m antsy. Also it’s fun.”
Ah. Yes, of course. “So it would be for your benefit.”
He grins incredulously. “I mean, in general, sex is enjoyable for both parties.”
I stare at him some more, trying to shake the feeling of being used. Then again, sex wouldn’t mean the same thing to a werewolf, would it? He’s not a person. He doesn’t fall in love and go on dates—as far as I know. So this…it’s a diversion for him. And who says it has to be anything more for me?
I mean, yes, I’m a virgin. But that’s not likely to fucking change in the foreseeable future, or it wasn’t, until now.
Jesse leans against the door frame, crossing his arms. “Listen, no pressure. You don’t want to, I’ll head back downstairs and watch TV.”
I squint at him. “But you won’t…”
“Go rabid? No, I won’t go rabid if we don’t do this.”
Shit. Still need to stall for time. My heart is pounding in my chest. “Jesse, I’ve—I’ve never done this before.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The grin softens. “I’m a werewolf, Del. I read people.” Not derisive. Just explaining.
There’s probably a really good reason why I shouldn’t do this. For example, he’s a werewolf and werewolves kill people. Except Jesse doesn’t, for reasons I still don’t understand. Okay, well, he’s also a member of the team and that might cause drama or something, although Jesse’s nonchalance seems impenetrable and I have a really hard time imagining him making any drama. Not coming up with much so far. He’s also really attractive. Is that a reason against?
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Jesse straightens. Oh. I’ve been staring at him in silence. “I might make some food. You want any—“
“Let’s do it,” I blurt out.
He pauses and lifts an eyebrow.
“Sorry. Uh, yeah. I want to,” I tell him. Because I do. I want to not be a virgin anymore and I want to see Jesse naked, not from across the hallway this time but right in front of me. I want him to take my clothes off.
“Good,” Jesse says, and steps inside, shutting the door behind him.
We have at least a couple hours before Ed comes home. (God, Ed. I haven’t even thought about that.) He’s already pulling off his shirt, which is kind of a shame because I wanted to do that, and coming at me. I don’t really know what to do so I just let him put his hands on my waist and push me back until I hit the wall.
Then he’s kissing me.
I’ve been kissed exactly once before. Ed dragged me to this anniversary event at her club when I was twenty-one and I got talking to this big, burly guy, and it came out that I was a virgin in every respect, and he asked if I wanted him to kiss me and I said yes because he was very good-looking so we made out for a little while and then danced and said our goodbyes at the end of the night.
So I know a little bit what I’m doing. But it’s easy to tell Jesse’s better at it.
He has to pull me down because he’s short but our lips meet and his tongue opens up my mouth. I, being a fucking virgin, gasp in, I don’t know, surprise or horniness or something so he backs off and looks up at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah. It’s just—uh—I’ve never done this before.” I literally just told him that ten seconds ago.
He doesn’t dive back in right away and regards me for a moment. “Del, you can relax. There’s no pressure to be good in bed or whatever, I really don’t give a shit. And anyway, it’s not as hard as you think. I promise.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He kisses me again and his hands go under my shirt.
His palms are warm and rough and dry, but they’re so light running up my ribcage that it’s hard to reconcile with what I’ve seen of him—how he plunged straight into the dense ash of the gaunt hounds’ chests to rip their hearts out with strength alone. I twitch because no one’s touched me like that, ever, and he rests his hands on my ribs. “You’re sure you’re okay,” he says.
“Yeah! Yeah,” I answer, attempting to steady my voice.
“You know you can stop me at any time, right?”
He lifts his hands. My shirt comes up and I raise my arms so he can pull it off and throw it on the floor.
I was so busy thinking about his tongue in my mouth that I haven’t even looked at him yet, not really. And to be fair, I have seen him totally naked before. But he’s right here now and he’s just…amazing. Powerful shoulders, thick pecs, broad hips, and dark blonde hair coating his front. He must see me staring because he picks up my hand and puts it on his chest. “You can touch, Del,” he says with a grin.
Oh. He’s…firm. I cup his chest and can’t resist the urge to squeeze gently. “Yeah, that’s it,” he murmurs, his lively gaze still watching me.
Then he grasps my hip and kisses me again, and guides my hand down to his belt buckle.
Ah. I pull the buckle open and undo his fly, even though I absolutely do not feel ready for this. Not that I could, anyway, since five minutes ago I thought I would be spending the afternoon building a complicated-ass sigil from scratch. Not totally sure how fast Jesse wants to go so I just hook my thumb in the waistband of his boxers and make out with him some more. Then he’s tugging at my shorts.
With a conscious effort I manage not to flinch away. I do want this, it’s just nerves. Still, I don’t want to be the only one standing around naked so I slip my hand under his boxers—his hip, the crest of it, skin smooth beneath my palm—and push them down. Then he’s stepping out of his pants and I’m stepping out of my shorts and we’re really doing this, I guess, because he smacks my ass and goes, “Want to get on the bed?”
I lie back on it and move up toward the pillows as he approaches. God, his thighs. He projects confidence that threatens to bowl me over with its sheer force, but it’s not cockiness, somehow; it’s just the way he exists, knowing exactly who he is. He wastes no time at all in straddling my hips and leaning down. His lips brush my neck and I let out an incredibly embarrassing moan. What was that? He didn’t even—
Jesse chuckles. “Guess we found your sensitive spot.”
“Sorry!” I can’t even look at him. “I didn’t know.”
“Del, don’t apologize. Christ.” He leans in again.
When he kisses my neck a shot of heat goes straight to my groin. I’m already sort of hovering around half-hard but that changes pretty damn fast. Then I realize Jesse’s dick is brushing my stomach and I glance down at it.
Um. I hope he’s not planning to fuck me because I may have played around a little bit but I really don’t think I can handle something that thick right away. It’s not terribly long at least, a good six inches. Really wish I could reach down and touch it but his hands have found mine and pinned them to the bed.
He’s kissing my neck again. Oh, fuck. My breath shudders. There’s the intimation of teeth, the smallest scrapes as his lips travel up my throat. The tip of his tongue traces a path between them. I wonder if he’s got fangs, right now, with the moon so close. He could rip my throat out if he wanted to. And I’m baring it to him.
That’s Jesse asking me that. I blink to clear my head. “Uh—yeah, it’s fine, everything’s fine. Why?”
He rolls his eyes at me. “Werewolf. I read people.”
Ah. “Nothing’s wrong, I promise. Just nervous. Since it’s—you know.”
“Your first time.”
“Try and relax.” Jesse runs his fingers through my hair, which actually is quite relaxing. “You can let me do the work.”
He reaches down and grasps my dick.
Never had another guy touch me like that before and it makes me shiver and squirm a little. Jesse’s gentle, stroking me nice and slow. “How’s it feel?”
I nod. “Y-yeah. Good.”
“Hey. Where’s your lube?”
My mouth kind of hangs open for a second before he rolls his eyes. “I’m not gonna stick my dick in you, Del.”
Oh. Right. I roll my head at the side table. “Drawer.”
He leans over—God, he’s hairy, and smells like…I don’t know. Him. It’s a good thing. He finds the lube and squirts some on his hand and then reaches down again.
This time he guides the two of us together—me a little longer than he is but not as thick, and he jerks us with long, deliberate strokes. Above me his eyes drift shut. “Oh, yeah.”
I’m trying to think of what I should be doing when I remember what he told me. Try and relax, you can let me do the work. Right. There’s no pressure. Jesse takes my hand by the wrist and puts it on his waist. “Touch me,” he murmurs.
Okay, I can do that. I take his waist with both hands and let one travel down to his ass.
God, he’s muscular. Is that a monster thing or does he work out? His ass pumps slowly as he jerks us; his dick slides over mine, slippery and firm, and his strong fingers squeeze my shaft. “Mm—“ I bite my lip.
When I look up Jesse’s grinning. “Yeah, that’s right.”
I can’t help grinning too. This whole situation is fucking weird but it feels really good and I get to have sex with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen so honestly I’m not too bothered. Jesse leans down and his lips capture mine, and when we kiss he makes a quiet noise of satisfaction into my mouth. Fuck, that’s hot.
“Grab me, Del,” he growls.
I like it when he says my name. So I do what he says.
My fingers dig into his ass and I pull him toward me, encouraging him to fuck against me, because it’s electric, having his dick sliding together with mine, but the really hot part is the pure, base rhythm, how his eyes close and he loses himself in it, seeking the sensation of the two of us rubbing against each other. It’s nice to feel…desired. Above me his chest shines with sweat.
“Ah, fuck,” he hisses.
“What?” I ask breathlessly.
“Full moon puts me on a hair-trigger.” His mouth is at my neck again, and he murmurs into my skin, “Come on, Del, come on.”
There’s teeth this time for sure, just barely scraping down my throat, and for some reason that turns me on a lot so I gasp and reach down and grasp both our dicks, our hands colliding. My feet are planted, hips lifting off the bed now. “That feels good, huh?” Jesse’s breath is warm on my neck. “You like that?”
“Y-yeah—“ I can feel his dick sliding through my hand, the firm, slick head catching on my fingers.
“Give it to me, Del.” His voice descends to a throaty growl. “Come on, come on.”
I’m thrusting against him now, and the slippery friction of the two of us together threatens to burn me up. “Jesse—Jesse—“
“It feels—it feels good—“
His breaths turn heavy, and his hair tickles my forehead as he mouths my jaw. “You want me to come on you?”
Fuck, that’s hot. I’m halfway out of my mind with how turned on I am. “Yeah, come on me, yeah—“
Jesse’s whole body rolls against mine, and he grinds against me in our hands. I’m still thrusting, hopelessly out of time with him but it doesn’t even matter because he still snarls out, “Fuck, I’m coming,” and I feel his cum shooting onto my stomach as he pumps his hips—body shuddering, thigh tensing under my palm. Mostly I watch his face, his eyes closed, the exquisitely intense moment of climax and then how he relaxes just after, spurts of cum still coating my stomach.
He’s…beautiful. Not just hot. It’s the way he carries himself, the sly comebacks, the odd, insistent politeness, and how he’s inhumanly strong and capable of such violence but instead he chooses to do this. To protect us, to kiss my throat instead of tearing it out. He’s incredible. And, also, he’s a monster.
When he finally opens his eyes he cracks a grin at me and then climbs off, kneeling between my legs. Then he leans down and drags his tongue up my stomach, licking up his own cum.
I whimper out an involuntary “oh my god” and he gives me another devilish grin. “Yeah, that usually does the trick,” he says.
I cover my face and mumble, “Sorry. It’s just—“
“Del, I told you, you don’t have to apologize.” He grasps my thigh, squeezing it. “Come sit at the edge of the bed so I can suck you off.”
Oh. He already came and this whole episode was for the express purpose of keeping down his werewolf side so I had sort of thought we were done. Apparently not. I follow his instruction and sit on the edge of the bed, and he kneels between my legs.
And takes my dick in his mouth.
So watch some porn and I read some too, and none of the sloppy blowjobs, none of the warm-and-wet, spit-coated sex scenes could have prepared me for this. It’s heaven. I’d collapse if I didn’t plant a hand on the bed. Jesse bobs a couple of times, tongue cupping the underside of my shaft.
Then my dick goes straight down his throat. There’s not even a hitch. His lips close around the base and I’m totally sheathed in this wet, tight heat and I blurt out, “What the fuck, Jesse,” which is definitely not the right thing to do because he comes off of me and looks up.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Nothing! I didn’t know you were gonna do that! Jesus!” I have an instant of feeling like an absolute fool, sitting here naked on the edge of my bed with my dick sticking up, but then I remember we’re fucking so it’s supposed to be like this.
“Sorry, too much?” He pushes his hair back. “I can—“
“No, it wasn’t too much! Just didn’t expect it. Holy shit.” How the fuck is he so good at this?
“Okay.” He sits there for a second, watching me. “So, can I keep going, or—“
“Yeah! Go ahead.” I wave my hand.
In less than three seconds my dick is in his throat again, because it’s just that easy, I guess. He stays down for a little bit, just sort of rocking, his tongue rolling over my shaft. When he comes off it’s only halfway, just enough for him to take a breath through his nose before he’s diving back down. My hips twitch up reflexively which I think surprises him a little because he blinks. Maybe it doesn’t, I don’t fucking know. “Sorry,” I breathe.
He comes off again and grasps my dick, jerking me slowly. “Del. First of all, don’t apologize.”
“I know, I’m—yeah.”
“Second of all.” He squeezes me, gentle but firm, making me shudder. “You can go ahead and fuck my mouth.” His tongue laves the head of my dick, tracing the crown. “If there’s one thing you really don’t have to worry about, it’s being too rough with me.”
Him saying that really makes me want to come but then he’s sucking me down again and I’m moaning. God, that’s fucking amazing. His hand goes to my back, down towards my ass, urging me toward him. Fine. Fine.
I roll my hips up.
My dick pops into his throat and right back out again and he doesn’t cough or anything, just shuts his eyes and nods a little bit. His hand is still on my ass, guiding me, and I fuck into him, forgetting the questions I have, the lingering apprehension about hurting him. All that’s left is his mouth and how he’s pulling me in. My thrusts are long, deliberate and deep, and he takes them without flinching. Not even a little bit.
“Jesse,” I breathe. “I—I think I’m gonna come.”
When I look down his eyes are open again and locked on mine, half-lidded, glowing gold in the afternoon sun. He takes me all the way down to the root.
That’s it. Can’t hold back anymore. The orgasm finally tips over and my whole body shivers as cum pulses out of me, deep into Jesse’s throat. To either side of his head my legs shake even as I pump into his mouth, his lips sliding over my shaft. He’s still watching me with bright, golden eyes, and I crush a hand to my mouth, hissing curses into it. The sheer intensity of the pleasure makes me feel like I’m about to explode.
The orgasm lasts…a while. Jesse rubs my thigh, slow and deep like he’s giving me a massage, and his throat tightens as he swallows my cum. My dick still throbs with heat, each pulse piercing me to my core. Finally—finally—I start to soften and pull out of his mouth, and he swallows one last time.
“So? How was it?” He wipes his mouth.
“I thought I was going to die,” I tell him.
“Why don’t you lie down?” he says.
I lie down.
There’s two pillows and a second later Jesse flops down next to me, also on his back. I guess a little cuddling was too much to hope for. I think he’s dozing, honestly, which is tempting because now that I’ve come the sleepiness is hitting me like a sledgehammer. But I still have questions.
“Did it work?” I ask.
Jesse chuckles. “Yeah, it worked.”
Okay. Good. I like that. “You’re, uh…really good at giving blowjobs.”
“So, how did you, y’know. Get so good?”
He shifts, tucking an arm under the pillow. “It’s a monster thing. Werewolves are inherently good at sucking people off.”
“No. I’ve just sucked a lot of dicks.”
“Oh,” I mumble. Duh. “So you do this a lot. Around full moons.”
“Yeah, mostly. Sometimes when I’m on a job.”
I roll over to face him. He’s beautiful, skin just a little flushed, tiny beads of sweat glimmering in the hair on his chest and stomach. “On a job?”
“Yeah. If Meredith gets wind of someone who’s using black magic, he usually sends me to put them down.”
I always wondered who took those guys out. Me and Ed sure never get any of those jobs. “And you do that by…going down on them.”
He grins at me. “People tend to fall asleep after they come.”
“I thought you didn’t kill people.”
“Hey. That’s different and you know it.”
“I know, I know, sorry. Just wondering.” All in all, it’s not a bad strategy. Regular magic, the kind I use, works on monsters but not humans. Black magic is just the opposite, which makes Jesse the ideal assassin. “Huh. So you’re a honeypot.”
That makes him burst out laughing. “No one’s ever called me that before, but yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“They can’t all be into dudes, though.”
“Well, no, but I can flip most of ‘em. That’s a werewolf thing. People wanna fuck you more, makes it easier to lock down a target.”
I push myself up on an elbow. “Wait, you make people wanna fuck you? Like an incubus?”
His face darkens at that, if only briefly. Not sure what I said. “No, not like an incubus. I don’t make people do anything. They’re attracted to me, that’s all. It’s just kind of…there. I can’t turn it on or off.”
“Huh.” I flop back down, heaving a dramatic sigh. “To think, I, an experienced slayer of monsters, let myself be taken in by your werewolf wiles.”
He grins again. That’s better. “Little late for second thoughts.”
“No, no. No second thoughts.”
“Good. Because you seemed to be enjoying yourself.”
I giggle like a fucking idiot. “Yeah, it was fun.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Jesse sits up, swinging his legs off the bed. “Gonna go take a shower.”
He doesn’t invite me to join so instead I just lie there, staring at the ceiling. Beneath me the sheet is already starting to get damp with sweat.
I can’t believe I just did that.
I wanted to, though. Even though he’s a monster, even though we’ve known each other for two weeks. I want to know more about him. And I do, I think. How...considerate he was with me, even though this was just a quick fuck.
I think of his golden eyes, his mouth at my neck, as I drift off to sleep.