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English
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Published:
2015-07-23
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733
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1/1
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Failure

Summary:

Son of Howard had enough hope for two of them. Hope for a better ending. Ending without failure.
And not failing was all what Loki ever wanted.

/Short oneshot based on song Moth by Hellyeah. /

Notes:

Short oneshot based on song Moth by Hellyeah.

Work Text:


I've been cast out, sequestered.
Pushed the fuck around.
Blindsided, beaten, locked up and bound.
Always thought I was human but maybe I was wrong.
I've been treated like an animal since the day I was born.
The wounds that I wear are the crown upon a king.
So heavy they lie, with all the pain that they bring.
My life is full of longing, but for what I'll never know.
I've been drawn in to the fire as I reap what I sow.

 


"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?"

"What, because I... I... I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?"

"You know, it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"

"I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal!"

 

Always the second one. Always not enough. Not worthy. Monster. That's what he is.
He would be never equal to Thor. The Mighty Thor. The favorite one. Golden God.
Failure.
Each time he tried, he failed.

 


Like a moth to a flame, my wings burn away,
When things are too beautiful, I smash them to pieces,
The more that you love me insecurity releases,
And I'll be the one that's to blame,
So I'll sell my soul to blaze
Like a moth to a flame.

 


"I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us!"
"No, Loki."

So he let go. He let his wings to burn away.
He was falling. Drowning in sorrow and pain, hoping to all of this to end.
To end his failure.

 


The ruler of the kingdom that ends up the pawn,
So tired of thinking of where it all went wrong,
Friendships they come and go and sometimes they end,
Wouldn't dream in a million years that this would be one of them.
Faith in the life, belief to the end,
Failure's not an option, but the options exist,
I gave up my everything, I give till I bleed,
Take it all, take everything just take it from me.

 

So when he survived, he tried. Tried again. Because it had to be on purpose. Glorious purpose, indeed.
He was willing to give everything what was left of him.
Rage. Hate. Mischief. Chaos. Lies.
Nothing more, nothing less. That was him.
A monster.

"I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose."

"You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the scepter in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated?"

"If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain."

 

 

You're pushing me, I'm pushing back,
Falling down my heart attacks,
Compassion is lost,
No more hope, no more trust,
I tore it down and burnt it up,
All faith is gone.
Respect, devotion,
Dead,
Disgust, hate,
Lies.

 


No more, he told himself. No more. Just one last time.
Because this was different. Oh, so much different.
He didn't have to pretend. No.
Stark. That foolish mortal accepted a monster. Accepted all of him. His rage, hate. His lies.
Son of Howard had enough hope for two of them. Hope for a better ending. Ending without failure.
And not failing was all what Loki ever wanted.
So he let himself to try and trust just this one last time.

 


I'm not a hero, or a villain,
Not a god, I'm just a man,
Staring through the hourglass,
At the footprints in the sand,
I'm stripping off my armor,
My battles here are done,
Wave my white flag to surrender and fly into the sun.

 


Tony, oh, his Anthony was such alike to him, but yet such different.
He accepted. Understood. And was ready for everything.
And Loki knew. He knew that this time he succeded. He had his foolish mortal by his side, who was ready to fly up into sky, towards the sun.
And he knew that even if he fails ever again, he won't fall alone.