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You're worth it

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Tobias's POV

"You're worth it to me" I softly say. I know that look on her face. She feels guilt, even though she isn't the one who should feel it. Jeanine is the one in control. She ordered Marlene, Hector and Christina to throw themselves 30 feet down. Tris did everything she could to save all three of them.

I look at her, pleading with my eyes for her to see that she is important to me. That going to Erudite isn't the solution. She won't solve anything. Jeanine will not stop until all Divergents are dead. I cup her face and she smiles shyly, just like in those early days after she jumped. But her eyes tell a different story. They are determined. Beautiful.

And then Tris does something unexpected. She pulls down the zipper of her top exposing her chest to me. I look at her for a moment dumbfounded before it dawns on me. She gives me a crooked smile and I help her slide the garment down her shoulders. Her upper half is now completely exposed and Tris reaches for the hem of my shirt. I help her by holding my arms up and she pulls the shirt over my head, letting it fall to the ground right next to hers. We smile at each other for a moment before our lips crash into a passionate, need filled kiss. We breathlessly part and I lean my forehead on hers.

She chooses me. She chooses me over anyone else. It has to be that, because I know that being intimate with me is one of her fears and she wouldn't just get over it so soon.

I lean her back on the mattress and hover over her. She doesn't smile, but her eyes sparkle with anticipation. I reckon mine are too. I lean down and claim her lips once again and we let ourselves melt into each other. My arms slowly give in and I now half lie on her, but still try to not hurt her with my weight. I travel from her lips to her right ear and kiss and lick and suck on her earlobe, earning a guttural moan from her. I smile against her skin but continue my assault. My lips trail down her throat peppering every inch of exposed skin with feather-light kisses until I reach the hollow of her throat. I lick it and she throws her head back in pleasure, closing her eyes in the process. I make my way to the heaving firm mounds and admire them for a moment. She opens her eyes and looks at me, her usually light colored eyes taking a darker shade and she gives me an almost predatory look. That look gets me even harder than I already am and I feel my erection pressing painfully against the hard fabric of my jeans.

"Are you sure?" is all I ask and she nods.

I look back down to her gorgeous chest and lower my head. I kiss them softly, first the right then the left breast. I start sucking the right nipple while my hand starts kneading her left breast. I feel the nub harden between my lips and I lightly bite it before switching breasts. I administer the same treatment to the other nipple while the right breast is now thoroughly kneaded. Tris is breathing heavily and moans my name, trying to muffle the pleasure filled sounds coming out of her mouth by covering it with the back of her right hand.

I continue my ministrations and lick around her belly button and decide to stick my tongue inside it. Tris arches her back and moans louder than she intended and I can't help the smug grin that spreads on my face. My lips leave her heated body and I look down at her. She looks at me and nods almost imperceptible for me to continue. I unzip her pants and pull them down. I get off of the bed and take her shoes and pants off leaving her only in her panties. The smell of her arousal hits me hard and I have to take a deep breath to avoid a mess. I want this to last as long as possible. Who knows how long it will take until we can be like this again. I decide to take my own shoes and pants off, so that I don't have to stop anymore. When I'm only standing in my briefs before her I stop. She looks at me with curiosity and pushes herself up. She comes to the edge of the bed and kneels before me. She places her small hands on my chest, her right just over my insanely fast beating heart and smiles.

"I want this, Tobias" she says, my name sounding like a prayer rolling off her lips. She uses my nickname when others are around and sometimes even when it was just the two of us. But right now she doesn't. Right now we are ourselves. I am Tobias and she is Beatrice. We are two halves of a whole. We are meant to be. I smile at her and pull her closer to me, our naked bodies pressed so close to one another that not even a leaf would find its way between us.

"I love you" I tell her, meaning it now more than ever. She smiles brightly at me.

"I love you too" she says and reaches for the hem of my briefs pulling them down slowly as far as she can. I take a step back and pull them down completely revealing myself to her. She looks at my manhood with apprehension and I know she is nervous. I am nervous. This is the first time for both of us.

"We don't have to" I tell her, not wanting her to feel pressured.

"I know. But I want to. I want you, Tobias" she softly says and I take a step forward again. Our lips meet again, but this time the kiss is slow and filled with love and devotion.

I gently push her back down onto the mattress and let my right hand roam her body, while my left arm is holding my weight. I reach for her panties and she pushes herself off of the mattress to help me with my task. I pull the final piece of clothing down her slender legs and toss it to the floor, alongside the rest of our clothes.

I remember all the talks between my friends and decide to use some of the advice they gave me for whenever this would happen. Back then I just dismissed them. No girl ever interested me. Not until she jumped and changed my life. I want to make this as good as possible for her. I slide down her body, peppering it with kisses until I reach my destination. I push her slightly upwards so that she is in a nearly sitting position with me settled between her now parted legs. She looks at me shyly, but I try to give her a reassuring smile. I start rubbing her womanhood gently and I watch her close her eyes enjoying my touch. I lower myself until my face is just right in front of her already moist entrance. I flick my tongue out and start circling her nubbin. At the contact Tris gasps and opens her eyes. She watches me pleasuring her orally and I can't help but smile when I see her eyes darken with pleasure. I leave her now engorged nubbin, circling it with my right thumb, while I use my tongue to lick her slick entrance a few times before I thrust my tongue inside her. Oh my God. She tastes divine. I lap at her for a few minutes making her squirm underneath my touch. She grabs a handful of my hair in her fist and presses my face closer to her core. I withdraw my tongue and push not one but two fingers inside her heated core. I start pumping them in and out of her all the while licking and sucking her sensitive clit. I increase my pace and Tris arches her back. Her tight walls clench around my pumping fingers and I feel her release running down my hand. I grin widely. I just made her come. For the first time. The sight of her spend and content all at the same time makes me want more. Makes me want her more than ever before. If the feeling of her around my fingers was incredible I can't even wait to be inside her, joined as one.

I withdraw my fingers and lick them clean. Tris has her eyes closed again and tries to catch her breath after the orgasm she just experienced. I settle between her parted legs and rub the head of my cock against her wetness. She opens her eyes and smiles. She nods and I push myself slowly inside her. Wow, she's tight. I don't know how long I'll last. But I sure as hell will make her come one more time before I do. I lower myself deeper inside her, watching her intently, taking in her beautiful features and looking out for signs that indicate she might be in pain. I know for girls the first time is painful, but it's my intention to help her through it as best as I can and give her even more pleasure than just by orally gratifying her.

Her face contorts and I stop my advancement. She looks at me and smiles, a sign of encouragement to continue. I do so and feel a resistance. Her virginity.

"This might hurt a bit" I say and she nods.

"Do it quickly" she says and I lean down to kiss her soft, sweet lips. I push myself through the barrier and I feel her stiffen. I look at her and her eyes are closed, her face holding an expression of pain. "Just give me a minute" she says without looking at me. I remain still, not wanting to hurt her anymore, but I start kissing her. I kiss her cheeks, her nose, her lips. After what feels like hours she pushes her hips upwards indicating she's ready. I pull back, almost slipping out of her and then thrust back in. I set a leisurely pace helping her getting accustomed to my girth, but when she warps her arms around my shoulders and starts thrusting her hips upwards, meeting each of my thrusts with one of her own I know that she is comfortable. I increase the pace and both of us breathe erratic. I thrust deep into her trying to give her as much pleasure as I can when she mutters "faster" and I oblige. I feel my release nearing and take the low moaning that I hear from her that she isn't far behind. I increase my pace once again, now thrusting so rapid into her that I think I might break her. But she is strong, she is Tris. She is mine and I am hers and it has been like this for a long time. This right now is just another way of telling each other how much we love the other. My thrusts become quick and shallow and I feel her clench around my cock, crying out my name, not caring if anyone heard us. A moment later I stumble over the edge and spill myself deep into her and for the first time in forever I'm home. I'm finally home. I'm home wherever she is. She is my family and I am hers. And nothing in this world can change that.

I collapse on top of her, unable to sustain my own weight anymore. I know I should move, but I can't and I don't want to. I want to feel her naked, sweat covered skin against my own. I finally push myself up and meet her loving eyes. We don't say another word. We kiss for a long while before I finally slip out of her and gather her in my arms. She lays her head on my chest right over my heart and traces patterns with her finger over my abs. I rub her arm gently and kiss her forehead from time to time until sleep finally claims me. I happily fall asleep with the woman I love in my arms. I couldn't be happier.

I wake up hours later to find Tris gone. Immediately panic settles inside my heart and I jump out of bed. She is gone. Her clothes are gone, her boots. She is gone. I quickly get dressed. I have to go after her. She could have gone only to one place. Erudite. She went to turn herself in. In her self-sacrificing state she actually believes that Jeanine will stop once she has Tris. Jeanine wants to kill all Divergents and she needed to make a statement of her power by killing innocent people. And Tris stupidly believed her. In the end she didn't choose me after all. Maybe last night was her way of saying goodbye. No. I won't have that. I will get her back. No matter the cost.

I run downstairs where I find Evelyn sipping her coffee. I grab one of the guns and check if it's charged.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"Tris left. She's gone" I say without turning around to look at my mother.

"What? When?" she inquires.

"Last night" I say and turn around to leave her house.

"Wait" she says and stands in my way. I wait for her to say something but she just stares at me as if she could stop me. I walk past her and I hear her following me. "Tobias, people look at you for leadership. You can't just abandon them" she argues, but there's no one more important to me than her. She is my everything. Without her I'm empty again. And I don't ever want to feel like that ever again. I turn around one last time to look at Evelyn and then I leave. Nothing she can say could possibly stop me from going after the love of my life.

Stupid Tris. Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave me? I love you so much.