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so long and lost (are you missing me?)

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“Come in.”

Ser Criston Cole opened the door and walked in, his right hand resting on the sword tucked to his waist. His handsome face was slightly turned to the floor. Rhaenyra could think this was a sign of respect, but she knew better. He still wouldn’t look her in the eye after their night together, too guilty of breaking his vow as an honorable knight. Quite frankly, she thought it was stupid. She gave him her maidenhead. If anything, Rhaenyra was the one who was supposed to be unsettled, but she just couldn’t give the matter such an importance, especially when she was a few hours away from becoming Laenor Velaryon’s wife.

“The Queen, Princess.” He announced in a serious, professional voice, but his tone was low.

Rhaenyra stopped brushing her hair as soon as she heard it. Why would Alicent be at her chambers when the moon was so high up in the sky? After two years of barely speaking to each other, they finally found themselves on better terms, but their relationship was definitely not like before, when they would walk hand in hand through the Red Keep or when they would steal fresh honey cakes from the kitchen – back when they didn’t have the weight of duty over their shoulders, back when they could just be two girls who purely cared about one another.

Trying not to seem too surprised, Rhaenyra nodded, leaving the brush on the dressing table. Ser Criston took a step to the side and looked at the door expectantly, both of his hands on his back.

Alicent walked in with slow steps and a high chin, the perfect picture of a Queen, but Rhaenyra wasn’t fooled. After all the time they have spent apart, she still could read the turmoil on her face. The way Alicent was fidgeting with her fingers was also a signal of her nervousness. Even a few meters apart and with the poor shining of the candlelit, she could spot the angry bloody droplets on her cuticles.

But it was when she looked into Alicent’s almond eyes that Rhaenrya knew there was something else. Something primal, almost feral. It was like staring at Syrax’s golden pupils, the same rush of dangerous excitement slowly growing in her chest.

“Ser Criston, there’s no need to guard the door. You can rest for the night.” Rhaenyra ordered without looking at him, still staring at the Queen.

He looked unsure.

“Forgive me, Princess, but I don’t think I should.”

“Stay at the end of the hall, Ser, on the far east. If anything happens, you’ll still be able to protect the Princess.” Alicent said in a commanding voice, back turned to him, matching Rhaenyra’s stare.

Ser Criston still looked like he wanted to protest, but like the good knight he was, he nodded obediently.

“Yes, Your Grace. Excuse me.”

When he left and the door closed, Rhaenyra spoke.

“What brings you here when it is this late in the night, Your Grace?” She asked in a neutral voice, but she didn’t stand up. This could easily be considered disrespectful, but Rhaenyra didn’t have much in her at the moment for formalities, above all for Alicent.

“I came to wish you good luck. For your wedding tomorrow.” Only the muscles on her face moved, Alicent still firmly planted in the same place.

“At this hour?” She insisted.

“I figured we would have more freedom to speak, without servants around and the entire Red Keep’s attention on my – ours – actions.”

“And father? Isn’t he distraught that his wife is wandering the castle all by herself? When the air is so dark?”

Alicent lowered her gaze, suddenly looking ashamed. She started picking at her thumb-nail.

“The King is… sleeping.”

“Sleeping?” Rhaenyra asked skeptically, finding Alicent’s behavior rather strange.

It took Alicent a second to speak.

“Do you remember how I used to have trouble sleeping? And how I would take a few drops of a medicine from the Citadel, much stronger than dreamwine, so I could rest?” Rhaenyra nodded. “Well, I still can’t quite fall asleep, not without tossing and turning on the bed for hours or having terrible dreams. So I always have a bottle with me.”

Rhaenyra blinked, confused.

“And how is that related to my father?”

Alicent sighed, lowering her head once again. A soft blush started to paint her neck. The abuse to her fingernail intensified.

“I may have… slipped a few beads of this medicine into the King’s cup.” She gathered the courage to look at Rhaenyra. “Without his knowing, that is.”

Rhaenyra felt her mouth open in shock.

“You drugged my father?”

“I-I’d hardly call it drugging”. She stuttered, seeming a lot like an anxious girl and not the Queen of The Seven Kingdoms. “He is only sleeping. He was tired anyway, too worried for the realm and sore from his wounds. He’ll feel better in the morning after a good night of sleep, I’m sure.”

The Princess still couldn’t believe it.

“But why would you do that?”

“I’ve told you. I wanted to talk in peace. And even in the deep night, sometimes the King still requires my… attention.”

Something mean rattled in Rhaenyra’s stomach. She knew exactly what kind of attention her father required from Alicent. Even though Viserys married her best friend years ago and she had learned to accept it, she still couldn’t control the disgust that howled in her chest everytime she would see them together, even when they were only sitting side by side in the throne room. She loved the King as any daughter is bound to love her father, but she could never let go of the hatred she felt for him many moons ago, when he announced his marriage to Lady Hightower. The sight of his fingerless hand wrapped around her waist made Rhaenyra inexplicable peeved, and his old, putrid skin against Alicent’s soft silk would always work to make the bile rise to her throat.

“I see.” Rhaenyra didn’t try to hide the aversion on her face. “In that case, you did well. I would have done just the same. Perhaps worse.”

“Viserys isn’t unkind to me. He’s… sometimes we simply do not wish for the same things.”

“But he always gets his way in the end.”

“He is the King.”

“Yes. And a man.” Rhaenyra left her seat, walking slowly to the Queen.

She was wearing a crimson dress with intricate black details, tight on her midriff, probably one or two shades darker than the usual Targaryen red. The color matched beautifully with her hair, which framed her face in the most delicate way. The rest of her locks were draped in smooth waves over her back, just like Rhaenyra always loved – and was vocal about it. But it was her cleavage that caught her eye. Always the conservative, Alicent rarely would show too much skin, but now her shoulders, collarbones and the top of her breasts were proudly exposed.

“So this is what awaits me?” Rhaenyra forced her gaze off Alicent’s chest and looked into her eyes. “Doing things I don’t want for the sake of my husband’s satisfaction?”

Alicent shrugged, but it didn’t appear like she didn’t care.

“Marriage is a long run of compromise. As women, we have to sacrifice more.”

“It shouldn’t be like this.”

“But it is.”

Again, they stared at each other. The height difference should bother Rhaenyra, but she found it charming – always had. In a way, it made her feel protected, even if she didn’t need protection and, truthfully, even though Alicent couldn’t do much to protect her. But it was a warm feeling, to have someone be taller than her, but not make her feel small.

Alicent had a pretty shade of pink on her cheekbones – because of the heat or maybe because she still wasn’t used to having the Princess so close to her after all this time. Her eyes shone bright, full of ghosts and pain and unspoken words. Rhaenyra found herself transfixed, but she fought it off.

“Is that why you’re here, then? To advise me on the sorrows of marriage?”

“Not really.” She sounded a little breathless. “We can talk about it at another time, if you wish. But that is not why I’m here.”

“Then why?” Rhaenyra surprised herself with the low tone of her voice.

“Frankly? I’m not quite sure. I just felt like I should see you before the wedding. Before both of us belong to someone else.”

Because we used to belong to each other?, Rhaenyra meant to ask, but said nothing. Instead, she paid attention, just like she did when they were younger, when she would stare at her when they were at Godswood and her head was resting on her lap while Alicent was reading one of her boring books.

This time, however, Alicent was staring back. The room was so quiet that Rhaenyra could hear her breathing and, if she focused, maybe even the sound of her heartbeat. Alicent’s eyelashes were long and heavy, batting gently at the tender flesh under her eyes. After becoming a wife and a mother and a queen, she didn’t look like a little girl anymore. She was a woman now, beautiful and grown, even if she still had a gorgeous fragility in her.

Perhaps that’s what caught Viserys’ interest. Rhaenyra knew that’s what caught hers – amongst other things. Even when she was much younger, almost a child, she always felt the desire to shield Alicent. The fire of the dragon burned hot in her veins, but it felt like an inferno when her friend was around. She had lost count of how many times she wanted to cry when Alicent would chew her nails to the bone over her crippling anxiety and distress or when she had to stop herself from ordering Syrax to burn Otto Hightower alive for making his daughter cry. Deep in her core, Rhaenyra was a warrior – and warriors take care of the people they hold dear. She wondered if Viserys was taking care of Alicent. If he was, she was certain she would do a much better job.

But Rhaenyra was a woman now, too. After going to the brothel with Daemon, almost giving herself to him and then finally having Ser Criston Cole on her bed, she learned many things. When she was teasing her guard until he would agree to lay with her, she saw the desire. He was trying hard to resist, eyes focused on her, slightly open mouth, a longing in his face. The same longing, Rhaenyra realized, was all over Alicent’s body, irradiating off of her. 

Rhaenyra looked at Alicent from top to bottom, drinking her in. Without any trace of shame, her eyes stopped at her cleavage. The smooth skin seemed to glow under the flames. Taking a step closer – so close she could feel Alicent’s body heat –, she inhaled heavily, like Syrax would do when smelling the prey she was about to devour. The scent of lavender invaded her nostrils.

This made Rhaenyra smile.

“I think you know exactly why you are here, Alicent.” She whispered, looking deep into her eyes.

“Do I?” The Queen’s body seemed to vibrate, even if she was trying to hide it.

Getting even closer, Rhaenyra completely inserted herself in Alicent’s personal space, their bellies and breasts touching. Slowly, the Princess’ left arm wrapped around her waist – just like her father did at public events, to show the world who the Queen belonged to. Her right hand gently touched the exposed shoulder.

“Coming to my chambers late at night, drugging your husband so he doesn’t know you’re missing…” Rhaenyra traced Alicent’s collarbones with her fingertips, feeling her shudder. “Straight out of a bath, wearing a scandalous dress with the colors of my house…” Her nose touched her jaw, dragging slowly through her neck and down to her shoulders and collarbones. Rhaenyra inhaled once again, lilac eyes almost rolling to the back of her head. “Covering yourself in liquid lavender, wearing your hair in the way you know I adore…” She came face to face with Alicent again, touching her nose to hers. The Queen’s eyes were small, covered in a nebulous layer of want. “So, yes, Alicent, Your Grace, you know why you’re here.”

Alicent’s hands were glued to the sides of her body, but Rhaenyra knew her hands were itching to touch her. Alicent had always felt everything strongly, but she was a master at hiding her feelings. This time, however, no matter how much she was trying, she was failing at her own game.

Taking pity on her, Rhaenyra decided to help.

“You can speak the truth, Ali.” She said the nickname she used to call her many years ago. “I guess you have forgotten, but you can always speak the truth to me.” Rhaenyra cupped Alicent’s face, tightening the hold on her waist. Her thumb traced over her jawline until it reached her lips. “You just have to confess, my lady. You just have to say you came here with a clear intention in your head.” Her finger traced the softness of Alicent’s lower lip, pulling it down lightly ever so gently. “Just say it, Ali. Say it.”

Yes.” Alicent finally gasps. “Yes, I did.”

“You did what?” Rhaenyra’s hand was resting on Alicent’s hips this time. She pressed their bodies even closer together.

“Yes, I did come here with a clear intention.”

“Which is?”

“I…” Alicent gulped, breathing strongly. “I came here… because I thought we deserve it.” Suddenly, her eyes filled with tears. She looked so sad, but still so very beautiful. “After everything, I think we deserve it, Rhaenyra. We were close. We were one in the same soul, one in the same heart. You were a part of me as I was a part of you. But this… bond we shared was tarnished because other people decided how we would live our lives. And to this day, we’re still doing what they want. And because we were so young, we never got to do what we wanted. For once, before you become someone’s wife, I would like to do what I want. I can only hope you’d want the same.”

It was Rhaenyra’s turn to cry. It had been a while since she had cried for Alicent. She wept angry tears, alone in her bed, for many nights after Viserys announced she would be his new wife, and even more after their wedding. It was different now. She wasn’t crying because she felt empty or betrayed. She wasn’t crying because there was a hole in her chest, but because, this time, she felt complete. She always knew that her and Alicent had something raw and vivid, a kind of affection they didn’t share with anyone else in the world. But now, after so much loathing and grief, Alicent was here, in her arms, looking like the fairest lady in all of Westeros, finally being honest with her, just like she used to do when they were happy and free. 

“I do.” Rhaenyra painted, the tears rolling down her face matching Alicent’s. “ I do, Ali. I always have, you know I always have.”

Before Alicent could start sobbing, Rhaenyra kissed her. After so many years of yearning – since she was a little girl, really –  she tasted her best friend's lips. Not being able to control herself anymore, Alicent put her arms around Rhaenyra’s shoulders, holding her as she would disappear at any given moment.

Rhaenyra licked into her, touching her tongue with Alicent’s. She almost cried again. Deepening the kiss, she entangled her fingers on auburn locks, feeling the scalp under her digits. Alicent moaned when she pulled lightly, which made Rhaenyra apply more pressure. The Queen was kissing her with an open mouth, like she was starving, like she was ripping her chest open and letting all her most repressed desires travel down Rhaenyra’s throat.

Kissing Alicent was like nothing Rhaenyra had ever experienced. Not a single thing in her life had given her this kind of rush, not even riding Syrax. Unlike Daemon, Alicent was entirely surrendered. Unlike Ser Criston, Alicent was soft and tender and – at least for that night – completely hers, because Alicent had always belonged to Rhaenyra.

When she bit her bottom lip, Alicent gasped loudly. She now had her hands on Rhaenyra’s face, holding her like the most precious thing she possessed.

“I have dreamed about this.” Rhaenyra confessed, her voice nothing but a whisper. “Many times before. You would sleep in my bed when we were girls and I was too shy and childish to understand what I was feeling. And when you were already wedded to my father and I would long for you like my heart was burning from inside out.”

Alicent’s lip quivered. She rested her forehead against Rhaenyra’s and took a deep breath, trying to center herself. The Princess couldn’t help her smile. Her lady has always been an emotional person.

“I know.” Alicent’s eyes were closed when she replied. “So have I. You have always been stronger than me, braver than me, bolder than me. So imagine how I felt – how I still feel – every time you’re close. Or even when you were far away, like the two years we barely spoke. I missed you so desperately. Every single night I laid on my pillow and I thought of you. Not only because I craved for you, but also because you’re my dearest friend.”

Rhaenyra kissed her again, this time only pressing her lips against Alicent’s. It was like she was out of her body, floating somewhere in the blue sky she’d fly her dragon with. This time, however, she didn’t feel a rush of adrenaline, she didn’t feel her heart in her ears or a somewhat violent energy. Rhaenyra felt only peace, something she hasn’t quite gotten in touch with ever since her mother passed. It was like coming home from a long and painful ride, like feeling the warm sun on her face or the breeze running through her hair.

When she separated their lips, Rhaenyra held Alicent’s chin, making her open her eyes.

“Will you go to bed with me?” She asked softly, as if scared the moment would vanish if her voice were stronger.

“Yes.” 

Taking Alicent’s hand in hers, Rhaenyra guided her to the bed. For a moment, they both just stared at each other, unsure of what to do, overwhelmed by the meaning of this encounter. Noticing how the Queen was starting to get nervous, and afraid she would surrender to her insecurities, the Princess decided to take the first step. She held the skirt of the light nightgown she was wearing and, slowly, pulled it up until the fabric went over her head and she was as naked as her name day.

Alicent was stunned for a second and Rhaenyra couldn’t help but let the smugness creep into her chest. Her lady looked like she had never seen her naked before, which she had many times in the past, but things were different then. They were curious and connected to each other, but they were also clueless and unripe. Now, however, they were women who recognized their desires. And by the look on Alicent’s face, she desired Rhaenyra so much she wasn’t even breathing.

Rhaenyra put both of her hands on Alicent's shoulder, lazily dragging her palms down her arms, holding her hands for an instant and then finally clutching her hips. Gently, she twisted her body to the side, silently telling Alicent to turn around. When she had her back to her, Rhaenyra started to unlace the ropes of her dress. She worked with no hurry, enjoying the unwrapping of her lady’s body.

The dress fell to Alicent’s ankles. She was completely bare, not a single hint of undergarments. Rhaenyra wasn’t able to control her smile, shocked and amused. Alicent really had everything planned.

The Queen kicked the fabric to the side, taking the opportunity to discard her shoes, too. Before she could face her, Rhaenyra flatted her palm to her back, kindly pushing her forward. Alicent understood the message and laid down over her stomach.

Rhaenyra thought she would wake up from a dream at any moment. How was it possible that Alicent Hightower, her childhood friend, the Queen of The Seven Kingdoms, her father’s wife, was completely bare on top of her bed? Not even in her most primitive fantasies had she thought something like this would happen. But it was true and the lady that held the Princess’ heart was there, waiting for her touch. She didn’t know what would happen tomorrow after saying her vows to her husband, she didn’t know if she would ever have this chance again so, without stalling any longer, Rhaenyra kneeled on the mattress and leaned down, showering the back of Alicent’s creamy thighs with feather-like kisses. Her face expanded into a smile when the smooth skin grew goosebumps.

Kissing up, she reached Alicent’s ass and took her sweet time there, enjoying the firm mounds of muscle, running her hands over the flesh. Sighs of pleasure danced in the air and, as much as those sounds were far more lovely than any song, Rhaenyra was eager to feel her lady’s entire body. Going up, she licked the delicious crease of her spine, practically growling when Alicent arched her back and whined.

“Let me see you.” Rhaenyra murmured, lips touching the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

Alicent rushed to turn around, laying on her back. Rhaenyra stared at her body once again, the inside of her legs getting hotter when she saw the Queen’s breasts, a lot fuller than she remembered when they would go to the bath house together, surely the result of birthing children. 

Interrupting Rhaenyra’s staring, Alicent held her face and kissed her, humming happily as their tongues touched. Their bodies were flushed together, breathing each other in.

When she kissed Daemon, she was excited and lost. When she kissed Ser Criston, she was restless and aroused. With Alicent, Rhaenyra was feeling all of those things, and, at the same time, none of those things. Along with these fierce emotions, there was also something calm and gentle, coming from a place of profound familiarity and tenderness. When she was with her uncle and her knight, she didn’t think of Alicent, that much was true, and she did find pleasure with both of them. But now, when Rhaenyra was swallowing the Queen’s moans directly from her mouth, she couldn’t comprehend how she touched someone else, because no one and nothing had ever made her feel like this.

Breaking the kiss, Rhaenyra breathed deeply through her nose, needing air after drowning in her lady’s mouth for several minutes. Alicent looked so incredibly beautiful and all she wanted was to ravage her, but she had to ask first.

“Are you sure you want this, Ali?”

Alicent was puzzled by the question.

“Do I look like I don’t?”

“I just need to be certain you truly want this. I’d hate it if you felt forced to do something you don’t wish to.” I’d hate to be like my father.

Rhaenyra closed her eyes when Alicent’s fingers brushed her cheek as if she were made of glass. She made sure to kiss them, the mild taste of blood from her wounded fingernails touching her palate. Her eyes opened back again when her lips were quickly pecked.

“You said so yourself. I showed up at your chambers in the middle of the night. I gave my husband a potion so he’d fall asleep and wouldn’t find me. I wore the most scandalous dress I own. I covered myself in scented water and styled my hair the way I know you adore. All of this, Rhaenyra, I did it for you. So the answer is yes. I truly want this. I truly want you.”

Fuck.” The groan left Rhaenyra’s chest as she kissed Alicent again, palming her breast roughly and sucking on her lip when she moaned.

Kissing down her neck, she tasted the lavender on Alicent’s skin. When she fucked Ser Criston, Rhaenyra found herself to be a biter. She left the marks of her teeth on his shoulder and would have done the same to his upper arm if he hadn’t stopped her – the other knights would ask questions if they'd seen bite stains on his body, he told her. 

With Alicent, the situation was even more difficult. Her servants wouldn’t say a thing if they saw someone's teeth on the Queen's neck, too afraid of the repercussions, but how could she hide something like this from her own husband? The King wasn’t the most observant man, but if he required Alicent’s attention from time to time, he’d surely see any marks on her skin.

And it was exactly with that thought – of her father seeing the bruises on Alicent’s body – that Rhaenyra bit a rather sensitive spot on her neck, pressing her canines against the taut flesh. She didn’t break the skin, but made sure to leave her impression behind, sucking harshly right after.

Oh.” The moan that left Alicent’s mouth was almost painful, her hips squirming in desperation, fist full of platinum hair. 

This only fueled Rhaenyra. Happy with the positive response she got, she branded her neck and cleavage with a necklace of love bites, painting the fair skin with red and purple and blue. She didn’t care if Alicent would have to find a way to hide the discoloration, she didn’t care if she’d have to tell an elaborate lie to Viserys. All she cared about is that, in that moment, Alicent was her lady and nothing could stop her from claiming her.

Traveling south, Rhaenyra left a umid trail behind. She mounted her as she would Syrax, shuddering when the flames between her thighs touched under the Queen’s navel. She ignored it though, too determined to make that exquisite woman cry tears of pleasure.

But before she could do anything, for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, Rhaenyra simply stared at Alicent. Her mouth was parted and she breathed erratically, chest heaving. Her skin was stained with Rhaenyra’s adoration, like colorful flowers of The Reach. Brown eyes shone bright and the white pillows were decorated with auburn locks. It was a devastating sight. Alicent had curves now, soft and feminine, just like she had a few pale pink stretch marks on her belly from her pregnancies. In a way, it matched Rhaenyra’s bruises.

“You’re beautiful.” She murmured, dragging her palms, gently this time, over her stomach and ribs.

“My body is different now. Having children is a lot to go through.” The reply was timid.

You’re beautiful.” Rhaenyra reassured her before Alicent’s insecurities could wake up. “Even more now than before.”

“Princesses shouldn’t lie.” She jested, smiling coyly. 

“Princesses shouldn’t fuck their queens either.” Her hands found their way back to round breasts, massaging them slowly. “And yet, here I am.”

“You haven’t fucked me, though. Not yet.” Alicent painted.

“No, I haven’t.” Rhaenyra lifted herself up, sliding on the sheets until she was between her lady’s legs. Her cunt was wet and puffy, gleaming prettily under the low candlelit. “But I shall fix my terrible sin, for my Queen is deserving of such delight.”

Lowering her head, Rhaenyra licked into Alicent, flatting her tongue against the warm cunt. She moaned loudly, tangling her fingers in blonde hair, pushing her head deeper.

It was the first time Rhaenyra was doing such a thing, but she had seen what the whores of the pleasure house had done to each other, how they were licking and tasting and swallowing. It wasn’t particularly difficult. She was reproducing what she saw and what Ser Criston had done to her, but above all, it seemed like a natural thing, like she was born to have Alicent in her mouth.

Rhaenyra’s tongue circled the impatient bundle at the very top, sucking it lovingly. Alicent dug her nails to her scalp, crying out.

Oh, fuck.

Rhaenyra smiled smugly. Alicent rarely cussed, so if she was spitting out filthy words, that could only mean she was doing a fine job. 

She decided then to focus on that particular spot, but soon realized she couldn’t only stay there. Alicent was very sensitive and quickly became overstimulated, especially when Rhaenyra was so eager to please. She tried to control herself and slowed down her ministrations, paying close attention to her lady’s reactions. It didn’t take long to discover that Alicent liked when her tongue would flatten itself all over her cunt, brushing firmly, but not coarsely. She was learning it was all about balance.

Still remembering what she saw at the brothel, Rhaenyra brought her hand up, touching the flesh with her fingertips, but never stopped suckling. When she found her burning hot entrance, Alicent held her wrist.

“No.” The Queen sighed. “Not like this.”

“No?” Rhaenyra was a bit lost.

“I don’t… I don’t really enjoy it like this. Inside, I mean.” Alicent was looking down, somewhat intimidated to voice out these words. “Use your mouth and your fingers, but not inside. Please?”

“Of course, Ali. Whatever you want.” Rhaenyra breathed, her heart getting heavy.

If Alicent didn’t appreciate that kind of love making, it could only mean she didn’t find pleasure when she was with the King. Surely he wouldn’t do anything more than seek his own fulfillment, so she most likely was always uncomfortable and dissatisfied. That realization made her angry. How could Viserys have a woman this dazzling and not move heaven and earth to make her happy? Did he even know about Alicent’s preferences? Did he even care? The dragon in Rhaenyra’s mind roared, thirsty to burn him alive for not treating her lady like she deserved. But instead of letting the beast of her hatred get the best of her, she decided to shower Alicent with bliss.

Rhaenyra would be a better queen than her father was king, and she certainly would fuck Alicent better, too.

With even more purpose, she ate Alicent’s cunt like she needed it to live. Rhaenyra used her tongue and lips and fingers in the way she was asked, relishing on the wetness covering half of her face.

Alicent sobbed even louder when Rhaenyra used her tongue and thumb to stimulate her at the same time, legs almost closing with the intensity of her pleasure. The Princess forced her thighs open with her free hand, but soon she had her fingers gripping her lady’s breast, playing with a hard nipple.

It didn’t take long for Alicent’s hand to cover Rhaenyra’s. She was trembling, head thrown back, eyes shut tight, the veins of her bruised neck pulsing. She was almost there.

“Come for me, my lady.” Rhaenyra said against her cunt. “Come for your Princess, my Queen.”

Ever the obedient girl, Alicent came. It was hard and violent, a naked ferocity that Rhaenyra had never seen in her. She could feel the pumping of pleasure under her tongue, coating her chin in a luscious dampness. Rhaenyra licked her clean, swallowing everything.

With a last chaste kiss on nether plump lips, Rhaenyra raised from Alcent’s cunt, sitting on her bent legs. She filled her lungs with air, wiping her face with the back of her hand. Her breath was shallow and she felt worn-out in the most cheerful way, as if she had just landed after hours of flying on dragonback. 

Alicent was trying to recover, still open and exposed. Her face was blushed and a thin layer of sweat rested on her forehead. 

“Are you alright?” Rhaenyra asked quietly, touching her ankles.

“I am.” She nodded, opening her eyes slowly. She looked drunk in the best way possible, but tears were shining in her irises. 

“Then why are you crying?”

“I haven’t been alright for a while. I have been disorientated and empty for quite some time, and as strange as it may sound, it’s scary to feel this form of joy.”

“Oh, Ali.”

Rhaenyra hurried to lay on top of Alicent. Her hips were hugged by long legs immediately, welcoming her in her warmth. 

“You must think I’m mad.”

“I’m a Targaryen.” The Princess kissed her tears away and cupped her cheek. “Only I get to be mad here.”

“Shut up.” Alicent laughed, happily accepting Rhaenyra’s gentle kiss. She held her face and petted the Princess’ jawline with her thumbs.

“I understand. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to be happy. We grow so used to the bitterness of life, that when joy stares at us, it can be quite scary. But we can’t let ourselves be frightened. We face much uglier things in the curse of womanhood. Happiness is to be savored and embraced.”

“I feel guilty.” The Queen confessed. “I have done questionable things to be here with you. My children are with the maids while I’m laying in your bed. I have committed what could be considered treason against the King and the realm, not only for drugging him, but also for bedding his own daughter. This isn’t like me. I don’t do things like this.”

“You don’t do things like this because no one has ever allowed it. Because your father mapped out your entire life according to his dirty ambitions. Because my father is a weak, spineless man. Because the Red Keep is a pit of vipers and King’s Landing is a rotted city, full of rotted people. You don’t do things like this because you never granted yourself the kindness of doing what you want.” Rhaenyra rubbed their noses together affectionately. “Following your own desires and needs is not wrong, Alicent, no matter how much this horrible world tries to tell you otherwise. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

Alicent nodded sadly, but smiled.

“When have you become so smart?” She teased, trying to lighten up the mood. Rhaenyra laughed.

“Excuse you, Your Grace, but I have always been smart. I may have not read hundreds of dull books such as yourself, but I am a very wise woman.”

“Wise women don’t fuck their step-mothers.”

Rhaenyra grimaced at the word, but her smile didn’t fade.

“Well, I am wise, but not sane. Targaryen, remember?”

Laughing, Alicent kissed her, all lips and tongue and teeth. She was hugging Rhaenyra with her entire body, arms over her shoulders and calves resting on her hips. It was as if nothing else existed anymore. No husbands, no children, no Iron Throne, no duties, no lies. It was only them, laying on the Princess’ bed, awake while Westeros slept, just like when they were two young girls without a care in the world.

The kiss broke with Rhaenyra’s bite to Alicent’s lower lip.

“How did you learn to do all of that?” Alicent asked.

“What?”

“You know.”

“I don’t.”

“You know.”

“Tell me.”

“To… kiss me like that.” A lovely blush was blooming on her cheekbones.

“To eat your cunt?”

Rhaenyra!

“What?” She laughed. “I know you like pretty words, Alicent, but sometimes we have to be a little blunt. Saying I ate your cunt isn’t worse than actually eating your cunt – which, as you are very aware, I did.”

“Gods…” The Queen was blushing a deeper shade, but there was humor in her face. “Yes, that is what I meant. How did you learn it?”

Rhaenyra couldn’t possibly say Ser Criston Cole had kissed her like this and that she tried to mimic his actions, not after she swore on her mother’s name she remained a maiden. It hasn't been earth-shattering for her as she hoped it was for Alicent, but it was pleasurable and her guard had been a generous lover. She decided then for half the truth.

“I saw the whores doing it at the brothel. And once you start, it’s not difficult to imagine what feels good, mainly because moans and whimpers are a great indicator of a quality performance.” She joked and pecked Alicent’s mouth, trying to shake the load of the lie off her chest.

The Queen giggled like a little child.

“You have to teach me.”

“Is that so?”

“Aside now from you, I have been with one person, and it has only been as a part of my responsibility as a wife and a queen. So I don’t really know what to do, let alone with a woman, but I want to. I want to make you feel as you made me feel. But you have to be patient and teach me. Would you?”

Rhaenyra melted, feeling her insides become liquid. She left an open-mouthed kiss to Alicent’s lips, her arousal burning like a fever.

“Yes, my lady. I will teach you.”

-----------------------------------------

When Rhaenyra woke up, her chambers were bright, the sun was rising on the horizon, and she was alone. She knew Alicent wouldn’t be there by daybreak, but she still couldn’t help but be disappointed. She wished she could live a life where the two of them sharing a bed after a night of love making wouldn’t be an offense against the realm and the gods.

But still, she was happy. She had finally done what she had yearned her entire life for and nothing could ever erase those blissful moments from her brain and her heart. No wedding or childbirth or war could ever make her forget how beautiful she and Alicent were together.

Leaving the bed, she noticed she was still damp in between her legs. Unsurprisingly, Alicent was a quick learner. Soon enough, she had her quivering in her mouth – and only her mouth. Insisting that Rhaenyra’s maidenhead should remain intact, she refused to get inside. The Princess was a little frustrated. Unlike Alicent, she found great pleasure with penetration. At the same time, however, Rhaenyra was relieved. That way, the Queen couldn’t possibly know she was lying about her chastity.

Before she could get to the door to call a maid to prepare her bath, something caught her eye. On the table by the sofa, she found a tray with a plate of fresh honey cakes and a cup of mead. Next to it, she found a letter.

Ignoring how her tongue grew heavy when she smelled the cakes, she picked up the piece of paper and started to read.

 

 

 

 

My dearest Rhaenyra,

I hope you enjoy the simple breakfast I left for you. It is not the healthiest of meals, especially so early in the morning, but your sweet tooth deserves to be satisfied on a day as important as today.

You have gifted me with the most beautiful moment of my life. Not as a mother or Queen, but as a woman. I do not know if we will ever have this opportunity again. I beg The Mother and The Maiden, who are kind and merciful, to hear my pleas and let us find each other again like we did last night, honest and bare and passionate. If that was our only moment of true freedom, I want you to know that I will never forget it for as long as I breathe.

What we share is something as marvelous as the stories I used to read to you in the Godswoods – when you would lay down on my lap and pretend to listen, only to fall asleep in the end. It pains me that we are such victims of matters that should not interfere in how we decide to lead our lives, but I found comfort knowing that our affection was strong enough to survive all these years of hardships. I am confident it will continue to grow bigger and stronger as time passes, even if we don’t have the best of the circumstances in our favor.

In my fantasies, we are flying together on dragonback, seeing the wonders of the Narrow Sea and eating only cake – you do remember this, right? It’s quite impossible, I know, but I also thought us breathing the same air of our fondness would never happen, so now I am hopeful. I promise I will try my best to follow my own needs and desires, and after our time together, I think you know what I need and desire the most.

I pray that tonight’s celebration runs smoothly and can represent a new era for all of us, full of peace and grace. I truly wish the very best for your union with Lord Laenor Velaryon. I think he will be a good husband, but I know you will be a wonderful wife. Side by side, the two of you can work for the best interests of the realm, and I give you my word that I will do everything I am capable of to support you until you accomplish your birthright and rule the Seven Kingdoms.

Thank you for being my most loving friend, even when I have made so many mistakes.

A.

P.S.: You made a terrible mess on my skin and I simply do not know what to do about it. I will have to find a way to explain myself and get a piece of clothing to hide all the bruises. If I appear at your wedding wearing an unexpected dress, know that it is your own fault.

 

Happy tears were rolling down her face when she was done reading. She laughed at the last bit, wishing she was awake to see the look on Alicent’s face when she finally noticed the proof of Rhaenyra’s affection and possessiveness. 

Biting a big chunk of honey cake and swallowing it down with a gulp of mead, she gently folded the letter and put it inside the book about the history of Old Valyria that was resting on the table, one she hadn’t opened in many years, but that served as decoration. The book would go to the bottom of the wood chest where she kept her most precious possessions, such as pieces of jewelry, dresses from when her mother was young and, now, that letter.

Alicent was right – what they felt for each other was special, perhaps the most beautiful part of both of their hearts. Rhaenyra was never too religious, but in that moment, she found herself praying that they could have a chance. Considering Laenor’s nature, she was sure he wouldn’t mind her involvement with someone else, most of all with another woman. It was something they had in common, after all, even if Rhaenyra also appreciated the company of men. Maybe Alicent could slip more of the slumber potion in Viserys’ cup or she could even ask her future husband to help her come up with a plan. Whatever it was, Rhaenyra was willing to do what was necessary to have her lady again.

Finishing the rest of her mead, she rushed to the door to call her servants. She didn’t want to wash her lover’s scent off her body, but she needed a bath. She wanted to start her day and get over that whole wedding spectacle, figuring if she fulfilled her duty already, she could act on her cravings as soon as possible – and what Rhaenyra craved, most desperately, was Alicent.

Sticking her head outside her door, she saw Ser Criston at the far east of the hall, just like the Queen had ordered him to.

“Princess. Good morning.” He walked hurriedly in her direction. 

“Find my maids so they can start a bath and set things up for the ceremony.” She said dryly, not in the mood for pleasantries. 

“Already? The feast will only happen at dawn.”

“I want to get ready as soon as possible.”

“Anxious to be a married lady?”

“Something like that.” Rhaenyra smiled, not at him, but at the thought of the previous night, of moans and kisses and love and Alicent. “I’m certain things will change a great deal after tonight.”