After the debriefing for the P7J989 mission Jack was eager to go home. Having to relive his most tragically failed mission over and over took more of toll then he had let on. He hoped the bottle of scotch he had waiting for him a home would be enough to drive the images from his head.
He went to his locker to grab his things and noticed Daniel’s locker still open. He walked around the lockers toward the showers and found him sitting on the floor. He was about to tell Daniel that home was the other way when the younger man looked up at him.
The devastated look on his face and tears in his eyes made Jack’s heart ache.
‘Jack’ he choked out ‘I thought that you had already gone home.’ He started to stand up and used his sleave to wipe some of the tears away.
‘I had to talk to the General after the debriefing to postpone the mission for tomorrow till the day after. Figured we could use a day’
‘Right, well then, I will see you at 08:00 day after tomorrow’ with that he pushed past Jack and slammed his locker closed as he made to leave.
‘Wait!’ Jack knew his next words would be a mistake but he could not leave Daniel as he was, not as his C.O. and not with the feelings that had he had been trying so hard to ignore. ‘I was going to go home and have a drink; I wouldn’t mind some company….’
Daniel paused and for a moment Jack thought he was going to keep walking but then he turned and in a broken voice just mumbled ‘Sure’
‘Make yourself a home’
Jack walked to the sidebar and pulled out to glasses and a bottle of 20 year old Scotch. He turned and saw Daniel all but collapse into the sofa.
‘On the rocks okay with you?’
‘I guess. To be honest I have never been a big drinker’
‘Shocker’ Said with a smile. He walked to the kitchen for ice and when he got back he found Daniel just staring into nothing. He poured the scotch and then walked over and held the glass in front of him. Daniel started and then looked at him like he needed a minute to come back from where he was.
‘Thanks’ he took the glass and took a decent draught and then started to cough.
Jack smiled as he sat down at the other end of the couch ‘Definitely not a drinker.’ They sat in silence for several minutes just drinking, lost in their own thoughts. Then it was like something in the very air snapped, Daniel put down his drink just in time to curl in on himself with chocking sobs.
Jack put down his drink and slid over to the young man. He wanted so desperately to help but had no idea what to do. He put his hand on a should and Daniel jerked away ‘so…sorry..Jack…I…I’ he managed to get out but he could not stop sobbing.
Jack could not bear it anymore; he slid over to Daniel and wrapped his arms around him. At first he seemed to try and fight it but after a few second he gave in and leaned into Jack’s chest. Jack just sat and held the younger man as close as he could and hoped it would be enough. After what seemed like hours the sobbing stopped and gave way to exhausted trembling. Without moving from where he was Daniel spoke, his voice quiet and rough.
‘I thought I would only see that moment again in my nightmares. To stand there, still so helpless but in control, it was so much worse.’
Jack moved his head and it brushed through Daniel’s hair causing his face to tingle. ‘I am sorry you had to live through that at all. I know what it’s like.’
Daniel leaned forward and Jack released him though he would have given anything to hold him just a little longer. He tried to push that feeling from his mind and look at Daniel but that did not help. He had leaned forward enough to turn to face Jack but he was still inches away looking at him with a soft caring look.
‘I guess you are the one person who would understand.’ Daniel looked down and even softer ‘You know you, Sam and Teal’c are my family now. I know that is not what the military wants but it’s how I feel.’
Jack’s heart jumped.
‘I should go.’ As Daniel moved Jack reached out without thinking and gently took hold of Daniel’s chin. They both froze; it was as though you could hear both hearts pounding in the quiet house. Jack took a breath and made a decision, he gently pulled Daniel face back to look at him.
‘As you love to point out, you are not military.’ He licked his lips and Daniels eye darted there before returning to his, what the hell he thought. ‘Besides the military would take much more issue with the way I feel about you.’
His words lingered in the air while Daniel stared at him. Suddenly Jack worried. Not about his career; he figured Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell wouldn’t extend to Top Secret projects no one could know about. But he worried about Daniel and what he would think. Would he think Jack was taking advantage of this vulnerable moment, would he be repulsed, would he be angry Jack seemed to have forgotten Sha’re?
He started to pull his hand away, an apology on his lips when Daniel’s hand came up and grabbed his wrist. He pulled his hand back so it was resting on cheek. ‘Then they can take issue with us both’
Suddenly there was nothing else in the world, no Military, no Stargate, no other worlds or people just the two of them. Jack leaned forward slowly, making sure there was no mistaking what he was doing. Daniel just closed his eyes and gently squeezed his hand where is rested on Jack’s.
When their lips met in was tentative but like being struck by lightning. Jack raised his hand to Daniel’s back and pulled him closer but got more than he imagined, next thing he knew his back was against the couch and he had the good doctor in straddling his lap.
His hand slipped from Daniel’s face into his hair. It was soft and natural, his hands sifting through easily almost distracting him from the feeling of the lips on his. The kiss was still soft but no longer tentative, both men were relishing every moment.
Jack reluctantly moved both hand to Daniel’s chest and lightly pushed him away. He noticed a slight nose print on his glasses as he looked into the other man’s eyes and the flush in his cheeks. They were both a little breathless but he needed to say something.
‘We should talk about this, there are so many….factors’
‘I know, and I agree we should talk about it. But not now’
‘That kind of defeats the purpose’
‘and what if we talk ourselves out of it?’
‘Maybe it would be for the best’ Jack felt his heart sink as he said the words but he could not loose Daniel. Who was staring at him almost angry
‘No, I spent months telling myself this could never happen’ Tears started to well up in his eyes again ‘Now that I have a chance I am not going to let it go that easy’
With Daniel’s heart pounding hard under his hands he whispered ‘Tell me the truth.’
As the tear tipped over the edge Daniel whispered the words that made everything else mute
‘I think I love you’
With that Jack pulled Daniel back to him and kissed him, but this was not the soft kisses from before. This was desperate and full of emotions he did not even know were hiding under the surface. Now his hands were pulling Daniels jacket off, as soon as it was on the floor Daniels hand were in his hair pulling him closer. He pulled up the edge of Daniels t-shirt and slid his hand up to the bare skin of his back; as soon as he did Daniel gasped and arched forward.
Jack took the opportunity to start kissing down his neck, as Daniel came back he whispered in his ear ‘I know I love you’ and then they were passionately kissing again. Soon Jack felt Daniel harden against his leg and knew he felt the same.
He pulled an arm back the other bracing Daniel as he got up off the couch. Daniel huffed in surprise and looked at him questioningly.
‘I thought maybe you could stay the night?’
With that Daniels eyes got dark ‘I think that would be for the best’
With that Jack took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
Jack woke up with a second of panic at the morning sun filtering in then realized they had the day off. He looked over at Daniel face still slack with sleep, the covers far enough down his back to show that he was still naked. Jacks heart jumped again as he remembered the night before, he moved in closer and kissed Daniels lips gently but enough to wake him.
‘Days off are for sleeping in’ he mumbled but returned the kiss
‘True, but I thought you might want to make the most of our time alone’
Daniel opened his eye enough to see Jack and smiled. ‘We will have lots of time together’
Now Jack’s heart was singing ‘I’m stuck with you huh? When did that happen?’
‘Right about the time I fell in love with you’ Daniels eyes were open now and so happy
‘We are not going to be able to hide this are we?’
‘No, probably not’ His eye dimmed a little
‘Too bad’ Daniel’s dimmed a little more ‘I think Teal’c had a thing for me’ and then Jack ducked as a pillow flew at his face. He rolled so he was chest to chest with Daniel and kissed him, still not able to get over that he could do that now whenever he wanted.
‘I guess I will just have to tell him that I love you.’
With that Daniels eyes brighten and Jack knew he would do anything to keep them that way.