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If you give a Helena The Steering Wheel

Summary:

Over the Years, the Batfamily had faced many things, Criminals, Madmen, Alien Invaders and the Occasional Mad God, but the only thing that truly drove them to fear, was driving with Helena Wayne, every single one of them had experience this in at least one point in their life, here they are and why each and every one of them make sure to hide the keys from the youngest in these tales.

Notes:

This is gonna be when I think about it or have the time, this won't have a schedule, not even the once a month, I hope that y'all enjoy this and all of the chaos that will happen, Enjoy it Y'all!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Age 11: Bruce and Selina

Chapter Text

“Mommy, Daddy, can I drive the new car?” Helena asked of the two, putting the Kitten eyes on the two of them as she asked this, the two parents looked at her from their breakfasts, confusion on their faces, “Come again Kitten?” Selina had asked her, “I wanna drive the new car.” she told them, looking at the both with the same eyes as before, “Hrm,” her dad said, putting his meal down and looked away, “No.” he told her.

“But Daddy!” she said and as Selina heard this, she snapped out of the spell that her daughters eyes had put her in, “Don’t try that on us, it hasn’t worked since Cass overused it.” she told her daughter, making Helena click her tongue in annoyance, “Oh well, guess I have to resort to Plan B.” she told them with a shrug, making Bruce turn to her with a quirked eyebrow, “What’s Plan B?” he had asked her.

 

“Blackmail,” she told them before going to walk away, “Wonder how everyone else is going to react when I tell them that YOU TWO drugged them instead of a Criminal like you told them?” she asked as the two shot up from their seats, “Helena–” “Or the fact that it wasn’t because of a world ending event or dangerous criminal but you just wanted some ‘alone time’?” she said with a grin.

 

The two of them were surprised by this, they knew that Helena had Blackmail material on most of the family, but to think that she’d go after them, they were both proud and planning on how to properly punish her, “The property line only.” Bruce said to her, the two of them then were met with their daughter’s smile, all three of them unknowing of what exactly was about to unfold.

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Helena was a little unsure as she was behind the wheel of The New Wayne Family Car, “Alright Kitten, now what you’re going to do next–” “Selina,” Bruce said, interrupting his wife with a worried expression, “I know we said she could be at the front seat but still…” he started to day until both girls gave him a look, “Bat, do you really want the kids to know that it was US who drugged them and put them in a cage?”

 

Bruce shook his head at that, “Fine.” he said, “Okay then, Kitten, you just gotta press the pedal right there and–” Selina had started to say when Helena had pressed the pedal to the metal, throwing the two of them into the seat and throwing Bruce into the backseat, nearly breaking his neck, “Helena!” he said but she wouldn't stop, instead she had started to panic and sped up.

 

“Kitten! Calm down! You just need to take your foot off the pedal and–” Helena hearing this had instead had just slammed her hand on the button that she thought was for the engine, instead there was a hum as the planet had started to lift off from the driveway, making the parents both grip the car as the prototype hover function had activated and flew them into the air.

 

The three of them had started to panic and worry as they had flown into the air, Selina had went to try and grab it from her daughter, “Helena! Calm down, we just need to stop the car!” she told her, moving to pull her daughters leg off of the gas, as she had done so, the car started to slow down until it had slowed down and was just idling in the air, now, the three of them panting.

 

The trio all panting and scared, looking around the three of them had started to calm down and that was when they started to laugh, the daughter and mother the loudest of them while her father had joined them, “You, hehehe, you do realize that, heheheheehe, that we’re never letting you drive?” Selina said, all of them laughing as the parents promised to never sit in a car she was driving again.