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print out a page of patterns and make a room full of friends

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one - michael

Of course Michael feels bad for Cameron - the poor guy's devastated, after all - but he's sure this is all for the best. This way nothing has to change, and Michael doesn't have to lose his wingman.

He is totally going to get laid this year.

two - chastity

It's not like Chastity thinks they're cute together or anything nauseating like that. It's just that things are so much better for her this way - Joey basically handed her the perfect out. Not only did he cheat on her, but he totally downgraded, so she's free as a bird without her image suffering any damage. As an added bonus, she lets everyone think she's furious over it, and just like that Bianca stops pestering her all the time.

She and Beau start hooking up a week after the party, and she doesn't miss Joey at all, not even when she has to stop buying snacks at the movies and can't even watch any of Love Happens because Beau just wants to hook up the whole time.

three - kat

Kat never would have expected it, but Bianca's dating a football player and something about it seems to ground her instead of making her insufferable. She's still Bianca, her world is still purses and shopping and fashion magazines and gossip, but something about her has calmed, like she's satisfied with her life in a way she hasn't been since Mom died. Kat assumes it won't last - once Bianca's not afraid to approach Chastity, surely the vapid scheming and social climbing will start up again, but then again, maybe it won't. Kat's been wrong before, and she'd like it if this new Bianca stuck around for a while. Why else would she have agreed when Bianca begged her to help out?

four - patrick

Patrick can't speak for Kat, but he's loving the arrangement. He shows up at her house once a week. He rings the doorbell, greets her father, and, when she gets downstairs, he calls her sweetie and pushes the PDA as far as he dares. (Currently, that's a kiss on the cheek. He likes pissing her off, but he's not looking to get castrated, by her or her father.) They get in her car and once the house is out of sight, she pulls over, barely stopping the car to let him out as she rants about how she must really love her sister to be putting up with this bullshit week after week.

He doesn't mind the walk home. Kat's pretty hot when she's mad, and he likes the look she gets on her face when he reminds her that he's doing her a pretty huge favor.

Yeah, she wants him.

five - walter

Walter doesn't understand how this could have happened. One minute they were his little girls, the next minute they're running around with a degenerate and a wannabe male model.

He doesn't care how "dedicated to the craft" that Joey punk is, Bianca's never getting her bedroom door back if she insists on dating someone who wants to take his clothes off for a living.