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Britney Spears

@BritneySpears

Does anyone think global warming is a good thing? I love Lady Gaga. I think she’s a really interesting artist. 

1:31 PM   -   Feb 10, 2011  -  Twitter Web Client

 



 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani 

May 18 

+$25.00 

brunch with the fools yesterday

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you 

May 18 - Private Transaction

+$25.00 

funny cause i said i was paying for you 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18 

+$25.00 

it’s okay i don’t need you to pay for me 

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you 

May 18 - Private Transaction

+$25.00 

maybe i just want to pay for you babe ever think of that 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18

+$25.00 

fatin it’s fine i can get my own brunch tab

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction 

+$25.00 

a pretty girl shouldn’t have to buy her own mimosas 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18

+$25.00

i wasn’t even drinking i had plain orange juice with my eggs benedict

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction

+$25.00 

well that’s just wrong who does brunch without drinking

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18

+$25.00 

it was just brunch it wasn’t bottomless

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction 

+$25.00 

damn right it wasn’t bottomless. you were there weren’t you 

 

You requested Fatin Jadmani

May 18

+$200.00

i demand reparations for this dirty slander

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction 

+$200.00 

ask and you shall receive baby 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18

+$200.00

fatin WHAT the fuck. i get that you're rich but this is insane

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction 

+$200.00 

sorry babe no take backs

 

Fatin Jadmani has blocked you



--



Leah

did you seriously just block me on venmo so i couldn’t send back your two hundred dollars



Fatin

whattt

definitely not 

the system must be glitching bc i would never



Leah

unblock me and take it back

i feel like a sugar baby



Fatin

don’t worry you’re not

altho you can call me daddy if you want

 

Leah

why do i even talk to you

i should’ve said yes when you asked if you were just a one time thing to me

 

Fatin

but you didn’t and you’re stuck with me so what now

 

Leah

now i take a cab to your apartment so i can yell at you for sugar babyifying me in person

 

Fatin

yell at me huh

that’s what you want to come to my place for 

 

Leah

yes

…among other things

 

Fatin

thought so 

see you soon baby

 

Leah

<3

 

--

 

Fatin Jadmani unblocked you

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 18 - Private Transaction

+$15.00

what you just did for me ;)

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 18 - Private Transaction

+$15.00

i’m pretty sure this counts as borderline prostitution so i’m sending it back

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 19 - Private Transaction

+$15.00

get your head out of the gutter rilke. im obviously talking about the gatorade you’re getting for me 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 19 

+$15.00

you wouldn’t have needed gatorade if we hadn’t just

 

You requested Fatin Jadmani

May 19 

+$15.00

never mind i’ll keep the money and consider it as compensation for the psychic damage you’re dealing me right now

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 19 - Private Transaction

+$15.00

not the only damage i’ll be dealing you tonight baby

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 19 - Private Transaction

+$0.69

now come back to bed i miss you

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani 

May 19 

+$0.43

on my way

 

--

 

Dot Campbell requested you

May 19 - Private Transaction 

$100.00 

Share the wealth what the hell 

 

You paid Dot Campbell

May 19 - Private Transaction 

+$1.00 

no she’s my rich celebrity girlfriend and i’ll hoard her wealth if i want to 

 

Dot Campbell requested you

May 19 

$100.00 

At least chip in for groceries I’m going shopping rn

 

You paid Dot Campbell 

May 19 

+$100.00

okay fair. will you get some oreos while you’re there 

 

--

 

Dot

Oreos are in the bag 

I got one mint and one double stuf cause they were BOGO

 

Leah

thank you

don’t eat all the mint ones before i get home

 

Dot

No promises

You snooze with a celeb you matched with on tinder, you lose

 

Leah

very witty, dot

 

Dot

Why thank you

Speaking of which

Earlier on venmo you called her your girlfriend. Are you and Fatin dating now?

 

Leah

shit i didn’t mean to do that

shit shit shit FUCK

can she see my other transactions on the app if we’re friends

 

Dot

I have no clue

But we both know who will

 

Leah

true

i’ll be right back and if i’m not it means i drowned myself in the LA river

 

Dot

Godspeed

At least then I’d have the mint oreos to myself

 

--

 

Leah

nora

 nora help i need your tech advice

this is defcon five

 

Nora

Did you know that Defcon 5 is actually the lowest level of threat, generally signaling that all is well and international travel is safe? 

Defcon 1 is the highest level of threat, requiring immediate response and usually indicating that nuclear war is either imminent or occurring at that moment. 

 

Leah

nora not to be rude but i don’t have time for your pedantic and highly intelligent tendencies right now

please can you just tell me if venmo users who have their own transactions set to private can still see the other transactions of users they’re friends with 

 

Nora

As long as your own account’s transactions aren’t set to private then they should be able to, yes. 

 

Leah

fuck

thanks i guess

 

Nora

You’re welcome 

By the way, I saw your Venmo transactions with Dot when I went on the app earlier to send Rachel my half of the electric bill. 

Are you and Fatin in an official relationship now? 

 

Leah

Read 4:15 PM 

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

venmo is the new facebook when it comes to posting ur relationship status u heard it here first

4:30 PM   -   May 19, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

allie

@fatinluvr

is this a general statement or do you have something to share with the audience 

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

omg is this fatin’s way of telling us she’s in a relationship 

 

fatin jadmani hive

@jadmanisource

come to brazil !!

 

fatin’s bitch

@fatinsnest

FATIN WHO R U DATING

 

han

@dawnsofeve

come on guys let’s put our heads together i’m sure we can figure this out 

 

alice 

@jademani

what i’m hearing is that fatin’s dating someone who’s not me i’ve never felt so betrayed in my life 

 

--

 

Leah

so i’m guessing you saw my venmo

 

Fatin

never once in my life 

what’s a venmo

 

Leah

oh god

you saw it didn’t you 

 

Fatin

okay yes i did

 

Leah

fuck

i didn’t mean to say it i swear i’m not trying to make it serious if you don’t want that

 

Fatin

but i wasn’t subtweeting you 

well i was but not in a shady way i just thought it was adorable but i couldn’t tweet about you specifically bc management would be up my ass

wait what

 

Leah

what

 

Fatin

you didn’t mean it?

 

Leah

no i didn’t mean to refer to the girl i’ve only slept with three times, who’s an international celebrity and way out of my league, as my girlfriend

why would i

 

Fatin

we can make it four times right now if you come over 

okay wait is this you saying you don’t want to be my girlfriend 

 

Leah

no ?

i'm just saying i didn't really think you’d want that 

i know we’ve technically been…this for a while now but i just 

i don’t know, didn’t want to assume you’d want me for real

 

Fatin

leah i mean this in the nicest way possible but you’re such an idiot 

i spent months trying to get you to like me over the internet. MONTHS

only for you to call me a catfish about a hundred thousand times 

 

Leah

okay no

it was like ten times tops 

maybe fifteen

 

Fatin

now that i have you i’m not letting you go 

i’m here until you get sick of me

for as long as you want me 

 

Leah

joke’s on you i’m already sick of you

 

Fatin

you always know exactly what a girl wants to hear don’t you

 

Leah

i’m so sick of you

which is to say that meeting you felt like breaking the surface when i’d been drowning for months on end

you’re the center of every tidal chart 

you’re it for me and i want to be with you for as long as i can, or at least for long as it takes you to let me pay my own brunch tab

so forever, basically 

 

Fatin

fuck grad school

you should be writing a book 

 

Leah

maybe i will

maybe it’ll be about you

well probably not but you’ll at least get a mention in the acknowledgments



Fatin

good enough

i have a question for you

but i don’t want to ask over text so will you come over 

 

Leah

yes

do you want me to bring oreos

 

Fatin

dorothy took advantage of the buy1 get1 sale at kroger i see

 

Leah

no way you know about that

celebrities. they’re just like us

 

Fatin

fuck off

and bring double stuf if you have any 

thank you baby 

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

:))

9:45AM   -   May 20, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

a happy face right after a tweet about relationship status? yeah fatin’s gotta be dating someone 

 

dawn of niamh

 @shalifatins

@jadmanipulator you really think she’s dating someone? say it ain’t so

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

@shalifatins idk tbh but it just seems sus that those two tweets happened within a day of each other 

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

plus this pap shot from yesterday shows fatin leaving a flower shop with pink carnations? i mean they could’ve been for anyone or even herself but the timing of it all is just interesting 

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

omg no ur so right she’s gotta be dating someone 

 

shelby goodkind defender

@goodkindism 

WHO WHO WHO WHO

 

tay

@jadmanislut 

she’s been seen with that kirin o’connor guy from mansplainers the band a couple times before right? could be him 

 

shelby goodkind defender 

@goodkindism

please god no he’s so ugly 

 

serena

@wonderswift

btw one meaning of pink carnations is love between women 

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

OMGGGG? no shot 

 

shelby goodkind defender

@goodkindism 

@/iamfatinjadmani i know what you are

 

--

 

Leah

well i fixed the venmo problem 

and by fixed i mean i did not fix it but ended up with a girlfriend anyway

 

Dot

Aye 

Love to hear it 

Can’t believe you got a relationship from a venmo transaction

 

Leah

you make it sound like i paid for a girlfriend

 

Dot

Oh you’re right 

Well you didn’t

Did you 

 

Leah

dot i swear to god

between you and fatin i’ll die before my time after a life filled with horrible jokes and exasperating banter

 

Dot

It’s too early in the morning for your dramatics

Btw does Fatin want to get dinner out with us on Wednesday  

 

Leah

i’ll ask, i can’t imagine she’ll say no

 

Dot

Yeah because it’s you asking 

 

Leah

well you ask her then

Attached: One Contact

 

Dot

Sounds good

I’ll give her a dinner invite and the shovel talk

 

Leah

wait no

dot don’t do it

dot

dot

dot

i’m getting a new best friend i’ve had enough of this

 

--

 

Fatin

dorothy asked me to get dinner with you guys 

and also threatened my life in six different ways if i ever hurt you 

but also told me she’s happy i’m coming tonight so i think it evens out 

 

Leah

for the record i didn't approve of the shovel talk

i just wanted her to ask you about dinner to prove that you’d say yes anyway

 

Fatin

there were no shovels involved actually 

she did mention drowning stabbing strangling kicking me off a building and abandoning me on a desert island to starve tho

 

Leah

i’m going to kill her

what did you say back

 

Fatin

i said i promise i won’t hurt you 

and then i said love you dorothy!! and she said love you too fatin 

id say i’ve made a good impression overall

 

Leah

oh trust you have

you did the first time you guys met actually

 

Fatin

how do you know

 

Leah

she offered you the lasagna leftovers

dot makes the best lasagna west of italy

 

Fatin

that WAS insanely good lasagna

 

Leah

see

we’ll meet you there on wednesday okay

the little taco place near the waterfront

i’ll send the address in a minute 

 

Fatin

sounds good to me

 

Leah

see you later then <3

 

Fatin

later baby <3

 

--

 

Rachel

congrats on not being single anymore

was starting to worry u would die alone 

 

Leah

thanks rach

oh. well thanks i guess 

 

Rachel

no prob 

u know how i am, i call em like i see em 

wanna hit the beach at 2 

 

Leah

absolutely 

i’ll bring some watermelon 

 

Rachel

ok 

i’ll bring spare goggles for you

 

Leah

rachel for the last time im not racing you in a 400m along the shore

not all of us were d1 athletes 

 

Rachel

bringing them anyway

see u soon

 

Leah

sold



--

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 25 

+$25.00 

tacos and margs 

 

Fatin Jadmani

May 25 - Private Transaction

+$35.00

baby we’re not playing this game again

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 25

+$35.00

fatin i swear to god you do not need to pay for me

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 25

+$45.00

i want to pay for my girl sue me 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 25 

+$45.00

are you just going to keep raising the amount every time i protest

 

Fatin Jadmani

May 25

+$55.00 

that’s the idea baby 

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

May 25 

+$0.13

okay then i’m giving up and letting it happen i’ve got student loans to pay anyway

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

May 25 

+$0.13

that’s the spirit 

 

--

 

Fatin

hey baby

so i’m going to new york next week to do a vogue shoot in soho   

not allowed to bring guests :/ but i was wondering if you want some terrible tourist merch to make up for it

 

Leah

i don’t need like a tacky big apple snow globe or an i <3 ny t-shirt or bottled pigeon shit from the sidewalk or whatever the gift shops are selling

but maybe if you find something touristy in a subtle way

 

Fatin

you got it 

 

Leah

how long are you going to be in ny

 

Fatin

three days

you gonna miss me, sweetheart? 

 

Leah

fuck no

i’ll probably be celebrating that i don’t have to see your face for three whole days

 

Fatin

mean

 

Leah

yes i’ll miss you 

like a lot actually

to a degree that’s not codependent but not too far off either

 

Fatin

don’t worry i get what you’re saying

i’ll miss you too

and i’ll find you the best touristy gift in the whole damn city 

 

Leah

you’re going to pick something hideous aren’t you

 

Fatin

what gives you that impression

literally what!

 

Leah

i repeat: you’re going to pick something hideous aren’t you 

 

Fatin

oh absolutely i am. just you wait and see 

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

in the greatest city in the world…jk that’s LA but nyc ur still pretty dope

11:11 AM    -   May 31, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

bianca 

@dumbdykedotcom

WHATRE U DOING IN NY

 

ella

@fatinsmilf

new project????

 

cece

@harmolife

oh we’re about to be seated for whatever this is

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

omg what if this ny is where her boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever lives 

11:48 AM    -   May 31, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

ally

@seafruits

nah i don’t think fatin would do long distance she always talks about how the west coast is the best coast 

 

fatin’s fingernails

@jadmanicure

ur onto something here. it’s gotta be someone in la

 

ally

@seafruits

yeah that narrows it down a ton…not

 

ally

@seafruits

tbh it’s probably not our business i just hope it’s not some guy who looks like a lego character or a ken doll

 

may

@fatinspigeon

amen to that 

 

--

 

Leah

how’s the vogue thing going

 

Fatin

pretty good

i got a lot of great looks and the photogs for this shoot are talented as fuck 

 

Leah

can’t wait to pick up this issue when it drops

for scientific reasons obviously 

 

Fatin

fuck waiting 

i’ll get you an advance copy 

 

Leah

perks of dating a celebrity 

 

Fatin

that’s why you’re dating me isn’t it

advance content and movie spoilers 

 

Leah

you caught me 

have you seen a lot of the city

 

Fatin

not a ton tbh but i did go to central park today

best place in nyc by a landslide 

and i got you something 

two somethings actually 

 

Leah

what’d you get 

 

Fatin

patience baby 

it’s a surprise you’ll see when i get back 

 

Leah

hm

fine

 

Fatin

honestly i’m having a great time here 

there’s just one thing that would make it better

 

Leah

i wonder what it could possibly be

 

Fatin

you in my bed rn

 

Leah

oh so it’s like that

 

Fatin

can’t help it

i miss you 

 

Leah

yeah whatever

i miss you too

 

Fatin

so what are you wearing

 

Leah

your shirt and nothing else

 

Fatin

fuck i wasn’t expecting you to actually answer that

you’re wearing my shirt? god that’s hot 

 

Leah

yeah it smells like you

i really wish you were here right now

 

Fatin

what do you wish i was doing

 

Leah

taking it off me

spreading your legs for me

pulling my hair as i eat you out

 

Fatin

fuck leah what the fuck

god

give a girl some warning 

fuck

 

Leah

i’d sit in your lap and ride your fingers afterward 

let you choke me a little bit too

i want your marks all over me

 

Fatin

wh at the fuck

can i call you now it’s getting hard to type with one hand 

 

Leah

that works for me

i want to hear you anyway

 

Fatin

fucking hell

 

--

 

Call Log

 

Outgoing Call: Fatin

Call started 11:25 PM

Call ended 1:48 AM

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

thank u nyc it’s been real. heading back to the best coast now and bringing some exciting news with me…keep ur eyes open today

12:19PM   -   June 2, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

bailey

@bailmeout

WHATS GOING ON

 

char

@fatinsfilms

WHAT R U PLANNINH

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

OMG OMG

 

dawn of niamh 

@shalifatins

hard launch incoming?

 

allie

@fatinluvr

HARD LAUNCH? NEW FILM? WHAT IS IT

 

gio

@fatinsgorgeous

locking my grandmother in a cage and not letting her out until i find out what the news is

 

 fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

well that’s no way to treat your grandmother smdh

 

gio

@fatinsgorgeous

OMFG OMFG U REPLIED NO WAY

 

--

 

Fatin

just checked my twitter replies for the first time in a while 

[IMG.120]

 

Leah

they were going to lock their grandmother in a cage?

 

Fatin

babe you know that’s a copypasta right 

 

Leah

yes 

 

Fatin

there’s also a bunch of fans speculating that i’m dating someone rn

and indirectly calling me gay 

 

Leah

actually? 

 

Fatin

look at this

[IMG.121]

i didn’t even know carnations were a gay flower i just thought you’d like them better than roses 

 

Leah

i think that automatically makes them a gay flower to be honest 

 

Fatin

hush 

anyways idc if i’m getting called gay on the internet by a bunch of teenagers 

but im gonna do my best to make sure they don’t find out about you

 

Leah

so i’m your dirty little secret

 

Fatin

baby no 

don’t ever think that 

 

Leah

i’m just giving you shit 

 

Fatin 

i know you’re so annoying 

but being serious for a sec. we can go public with this right this minute if that’s what you want 

i’d love the whole world to know you’re mine 

i just thought you’d want to keep it on the low for a bit because you’re kind of a private person 

plus i don’t want you getting piled on the internet i love my fans but some of them take it way over the top 

 

Leah

you were right and i really appreciate that

you're hot when you’re protective 

 

Fatin

yeah?

 

Leah

yeah

and i don’t mind being your dirty little secret

i can be dirty

and i am yours

 

Fatin

anyone ever tell you you’re kind of perfect

 

Leah

no but you can tell me again

 

Fatin

i mean it

you’re perfect 

 

Leah

it’s a two way street babe

 

Fatin 

fuck yeah talk metaphor to me

god english majors are hot

 

--

 

Leah

now i understand why you wouldn’t let me open the gift bag until you left

 

Fatin

i’m guessing you unwrapped the shirt

 

Leah

this might be the worst thing i’ve ever seen

 

Fatin

thanks it took a lot of effort to find

 

Leah

where the fuck did you manage to find an adult size shirt that says “daddy’s little new york monster” in comic sans and has a drawing of a bright green dinosaur taking a bite out of the empire state building on the front

 

Fatin

times square obv

where else

 

Leah

good god

 

Fatin

so you hate it

 

Leah

yes it’s a fucking abomination

i’m throwing it in the wash right now so i can sleep in it tonight

 

Fatin

heh

did you find the other gift yet

 

Leah

what other gift

 

Fatin

check the bottom of the bag there should be an envelope

 

Leah

oh what the fuck

 

Fatin

you wanted something subtly touristy 

so i went to central park

that’s it

 

Leah

fatin

i love it so much

how’d you even get this made

 

Fatin

asked the five dollar portrait guy if he could do one using a photo reference instead of a live one

he said no originally but then i told him it was for the prettiest girl in the world and he caved

 

Leah

it looks just like me

this is amazing

thank you

 

Fatin

anything for you baby

next time we’ll go and get one done together

 

Leah

i’m holding you to that

 

Fatin

you better

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

@tshals @ShelbyGoodkind oh hi there

12:19PM   -   June 2, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

dawn of niamh 

@shalifatins

oh my fucking god are they doing something together NOBODY TOUCH ME 

 

toni’s armrest 

@shalifriendnotfoe

NO WAYYYY

 

shelby goodkind defender 

@goodkindism

IDK WHATS HAPPENING BUT OMG MY BRAND

 

— ally

@seafruits

whatever this is it’s about to cause a collective implosion on dyke twitter 

 

anna 

@celesbians

and i’ll be a part of it 

 

allie

@fatinluvr

i hear paris is beautiful this time of year 

 

tay

@jadmanislut

fatin shelby and toni are not in a throuple get a grip 

 

allie

@fatinluvr

do you have proof that they’re not

 

tay

@jadmanislut

no but do you have proof that they ARE? 

 

allie

@fatinluvr

…well no

 

--

 

VARIETY

June 1, 2023 

 

Hollywood Allstars Team Up: Jadmani, Goodkind, and Shalifoe to Star in New Action Film By Klein

by Arya Shaw

 

Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind, and Toni Shalifoe will be starring in The Wilds, a new film from the esteemed and notorious director Gretchen Klein. The film is slated for release sometime late next year. 

While it is Jadmani’s second time working with Klein - the first time being on Dawn of Eve, the psych thriller that earned Jadmani two Oscar nods - neither Goodkind nor Shalifoe have ever collaborated with Klein before. 

This film marks new territory for both Goodkind and Shalifoe: Goodkind is branching out from her recent string of rom coms, while Shalifoe is set to make her film debut after a three-season run as the star of HBO Max’s top show, Blindsided. 

Although there isn’t much information on The Wilds available yet, Klein describes it as “an action film with a psych-thrilled edge and a dark, subversive twist.” In a signature Klein move, the film will be feminist-centric and female led; as of yet, there are no cast announcements for male actors. 

The Wilds may be currently shrouded in mystery, but the sheer star power combined with Klein’s unique and masterful style of directing is bound to produce powerful results. 

The Wilds is set to release in late 2024. 

 

Arya Shaw is a contributing writer for Variety. 

 

--

 

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind, and Toni Shalifoe to star in Gretchen Klein’s action thriller “The Wilds.”

Via Variety, Klein describes the project as “an action film with a psych-thrilled edge and a dark, subversive twist.”

12:45PM   -   June 2, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

joss whedon’s parasocial nemesis

@faithlehanes

filmupdates said it so it must be true 

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

OHHHMY GODDD 

 

shelby goodkind defender 

@goodkindism 

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE 

 

boob ross

@rootlore 

oh the lesbians won big with this one 

 

fatin’s fingernails

@jadmanicure

Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be the Only Thing I Tweet About For The Next Week. Ive Wanted This For Years Fuck. What The Fuck.

 

mia loves toni 

@shalifornication

AUUUJGHHHHHH IM GONNA DIE I CANTFUCKING WAIT TILL 2024 

 

leah

@futzdyke

this is going to be one of the gayest movies of all time 

 

joss whedon’s parasocial nemesis

@faithlehanes

and i’ll watch.jpg

 

--

 

Dot

They’re calling your girlfriend gay on the internet

 

Leah

well they’ve got a point

 

Dot

They’re also saying she’s in a throuple with toni and shelby LOL

 

Leah

no shot

 

Dot

That’s hilarious 

 

Leah

how do you even know this

 

Dot

Twitter knows all

 

Leah

knows nothing, more like

i try not to go on there anymore after i saw one of fatin’s fans writing a twenty tweet thread on why fatin’s secretly married to some guy from a bottom tier boy band

 

Dot

The conspiracy theories never end

They faked the moon landing, did you hear?

 

Leah

well obviously

hey i’m gonna stop at spring thai on the way home do you want the usual

 

Dot

Please 

And can you grab an extra order of dumplings 

 

Leah

you got it

i’ll be home in thirty

survivor marathon?

 

Dot

Hell yes

 

--

 

Leah

i will admit it’s a little bit hot that everyone’s just now finding out about your project with toni and shelby but i knew weeks ago 

 

Fatin

glad to hear it

after all that is why i started acting 

so i could pull hot girls by promising them movie spoilers

 

Leah

shut up right now

i’m the only girl you’re allowed to give movie spoilers to

 

Fatin

have i ever told you how hot it is when you’re bossy 

 

Leah

yes

repeatedly 

 

Fatin

well i’ll say it again. it’s really fucking hot when you’re bossy 

 

Leah

yeah?

 

Fatin

yeah it’s hot when you pretend to be a top

so hot that i think you should come over rn and let me show you why you're not

 

Leah

hmm 

i don’t know about that

 

Fatin

:/

 

Leah

it’s just that i might need a little more convincing 

 

Fatin

well in that case baby 

i was thinking i’d push you up against the wall as soon as you walk in and pin you there 

leave hickeys all over your throat just so everyone knows you’re mine

then i’d get you on the bed and go down on you  slow until you’re begging for more 

convinced now?

 

Leah

hmm almost

keep going

 

Fatin

well you’re being a brat now 

so you’ll have to keep quiet while i eat you out 

every time you say something that isn’t my name i’ll stop and make you wait 

and if you touch me before i give you permission i’ll hold you down and edge you for the next hour 

 

Leah

fuck

i’m coming over

 

Fatin

good girl

 

Leah

don’t call me that

 

Fatin

why not

i know you like it princess

even if you pretend not to, i know how hard it makes you cum

 

Leah

fucking 

god i’m on my way right now



Fatin 

that’s what i thought 

good girl 

 

Leah

swear to god that mouth of yours will get you in trouble someday 

 

Fatin

i hope so baby

i sure hope so

 

--

 

Dot

Interesting how you were at home last night when i went to bed but now you’re gone

Very interesting 

 

Leah

shut up dot

 

Dot

Fatin’s that good huh 

 

Leah

shut UP dot

also. yes 

 

Dot

There’s a new thing of concealer in the bathroom cabinet 

Got a feeling you’re gonna need it

 

Leah

thanks

i hate it here

 

--

 

Fatin 

wyd today

 

Leah

i'm gonna go to the bookstore 

wanna come

 

Fatin

i’m not really into books tbh 

 

Leah

hmph

 

Fatin 

but i am into you

 

Leah

works for me

pick me up at 1?

 

Fatin

you got it baby

 

--

 

Leah

the weirdest thing just happened

i’m at cover to cover with fatin 

and this girl came up and asked for pictures with her which makes sense but then she asked for one with both of us

 

Dot

Did you say yes

 

Leah

yes 

i would’ve felt bad otherwise

i just don’t know why she wanted a picture with me it’s not like i’m famous

 

Dot

Transitive property 

You’re dating a celebrity 

 

Leah

but they don’t know that

 

Dot

For now

 

Leah

yeah

for now

can we talk about something else

 

Dot

Did you get any good books

 

Leah

i found a second hand hardcover of pride & prejudice

 

Dot

Lee you already have two copies of that book

 

Leah

but they’re both paperback

 

Dot

Paperback is better anyway

 

Leah

true but i still need a hardcover edition

 

Dot

And where are you going to put it

The overflowing stack of books on top of your bookcase or the overflowing stack of books on the floor next to your bed 

 

Leah

listen

i’ll find a place

 

Dot

As long as it’s not on top of the toilet tank in a place where it could fall into the water main

 

Leah

that happened one single time when i came home blacked out

 

Dot

And the screaming lecture we got from maintenance still haunts me to this day

 

Leah

okay fair

that guy was awful

oh i just remembered i got you a book too

it’s from the kid’s section but i think you’ll like it anyway

 

Dot

I feel like you’re subtly calling me a child

 

Leah

yes dot you're a child

seriously though my side of the mountain is a classic

 

Dot

Alright I’ll give it a try

Thanks 

 

Leah

of course

i’m heading home now

 

Dot

I’m out with Nora right now

But I’ll be home tonight 

Don’t eat all the Thai leftovers that’s gonna be my dinner

 

Leah

damn you that was going to be my dinner

fine

 

Dot

There’s green bean casserole in the back that Rachel made

Have that

 

Leah

i’d rather starve

 

Dot

According to Nora there’s nearly half the daily recommended dose of fiber and vitamin c in there

According to me it’s a vegetable and you need to eat more of those

 

Leah

okay okay i’ll have some

 

--

 

Dot

Heading home now

 

Leah

can you pick up some peptobismol on the way

i think rachel’s heap of toxic waste masquerading as a casserole gave me heartburn 

 

--

 

analisa 

@milfhunters

guys you’re not gonna believe this i met fatin jadmani yesterday 

[IMG.013]

[IMG.014]

[IMG.015]

[IMG.016]

9:02 AM   -   June 5, 2023   -   Twitter for iPad

 

fatin’s fingernails

@jadmanicure

NO FUCKING WAY U LUCKY BITCH

 

brie not larson

@fuckmefatin

how does it feel to live MY DREAM

 

fatin’s bitch 

@fatinsnest

i would literally kill a man to be you rn 

 

sam

@fearpigeons

who’s that other girl in the fourth picture ??

 

analisa

@milfhunters

no idea tbh i just asked for a pic with her too bc i assumed she must be famous in some way if she’s with fatin

 

priya

@deutchdyke 

she’s kind of hot tbh what’s her @

 

grace

@wildshalifoe

is fatin holding books in that pic? she always says in interviews that she doesn’t have the patience for reading anything longer than a script

 

analisa

@milfhunters

oh those weren’t her books they were the other girls. fatin was just carrying them for her

 

allie

@fatinluvr

fellas is it gay to carry books for your hot female friend

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

yes yes it is 

 

alice 

@jademani

oh to have fatin jadmani carry your books for you. god i SEE what you’ve done for others

 

hailey

@evedawns

whoever this girl is she’s the luckiest motherfucker in the world

 

--

 

hollywoodhotgoss.com

Fatin Jadmani Steps Out with Mystery Girl

 

New photos of Fatin Jadmani are floating around the internet after a fan shared four pictures from a run-in at a bookstore in this tweet . The tweet has since gone viral on a certain corner of Twitter, and some fans are speculating that the mystery girl might be Fatin’s secret lover. We don’t know anything yet, but one thing’s for certain. Whoever this girl is, she’s definitely not famous…yet. 

 

June 6, 2023

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

@voguemagazine thanks for having me ;) check my new spread, out now at https//:voguexfatinjadmani/link

1:18 PM   -   June 10, 2023   -   Twitter for Macbook Pro

 

fatin’s fingernails 

@jadmanicure

SERVE OF THE CENTURY OMGG

 

allie

@fatinluvr

OHHHH SHE’S MOTHER TO A LOT OF U BITCHES

 

char

@goodkindmani

the way you misconstructed and redefined what it meant to convey and obtain the concupiscent anomalistic clearance showing us that idiosyncratic is ebulliently inevitable while simultaneously substantiating the superiority of women

 

shelby goodkind defender

@goodkindism

who else here would take a bullet for fatin jadmani? just me? okay

 

suki

@canonlesbians

the it girl of the decade actually

 

nat

@shallowfoe

is it true ur dating a woman pls say yes

 

--

 

Leah

just opened your vogue photoshoot

currently dying

 

Fatin

please don’t

i’m not into necrophilia tbh

 

Leah

you are SO annoying

and also so hot

i can’t believe you’re my girlfriend

 

Fatin

believe it baby

so which picture is your favorite

 

Leah

don’t go fishing for compliments now

 

Fatin

not fishing for compliments

just fishing for you

cause you're the catch of a lifetime 

 

Leah

smooth

okay they’re all good pictures but the one where you’re wearing that white button down open with no bra and a tie loose around your neck is my favorite

it’s got me going insane 

it makes me want all kinds of things

 

Fatin

go on baby

 

Leah

like i want you to wrap that tie around my neck and pull until i’m choking

or bend me over a table and use it to tie my hands behind my back while you take me from behind

or just keep the shirt and tie on and hold me in your lap while i ride you

 i’m not picky

 

Fatin

fuck that’s so hot

all of that can be arranged just say the word

remember when you used to get embarrassed over a little dirty talk? they grow up so fast

 

Leah

shut up

are you going to make fun of me some more or are you going to come over

dot’s not home

 

Fatin

say less

i’m there 

 

Leah

will you wear the outfit

 

Fatin

i’ve created a monster

 

Leah

so is that a yes

 

Fatin

yes

leaving now

 

--

 

iamfatinjadmani

went diving, found treasure

[Image Description: A picture of Fatin at the beach, standing knee-deep in water with a silly-looking pair of goggles propped on top of her head. She’s smiling over her shoulder, a softer shadow of her usual smirk, and her hand is reaching towards the camera.]

View all 8, 960 comments

shelbygoodkind Pretty girl

iamfatinjadmani right back at you shelbs

tshalifoe ur not ugly i guess 

iamfatinjadmani i’m blushing 

 

June 13, 2023

 

--

 

Rachel

oh so you’ll wear goggles to swim with fatin but not with me 

i see how it is

bitch

 

Leah

i wasn't even in her post

how do you know i was wearing goggles

 

Rachel

well you were weren’t you

 

Leah

i mean yes but 

look fatin put them on me and said they were cute okay i didn’t wear them of my own volition

 

Rachel

whipped 

 

--

 

Nora Reid requested Rachel Reid

June 13

$20.00

They’re together, I won the bet. 

 

Rachel Reid paid Nora Reid

June 13

+$20.00

goddamn it i should’ve bet the under

 

You requested Nora Reid

June 13

$10.00

were you guys seriously betting on my love life? where’s my cut

 

--

 

shelby goodkind defender

@goodkindism

shelby toni and fatin all interacting in the comments of fatin’s latest ig post…this is what dreams are made of 

2:20 PM   -   July 13. 2023   -  Twitter for iPhone

 

jules

@shoniwilds

NO WAYYY OMG THEYRE SO ICONIC

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

LMAO at toni’s comment she’s so funny fr

 

allie

@fatinluvr

you all made fun of me when i said maybe they’re a throuple but who’s laughing now. they hated jesus because he told the truth

 

hope

@satinfatin

now wait a minute…

 

ally

@seafruits

lord the women you put on this earth to gather fruit are creating diy celesbian throuples on the internet 

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

just opened ig and im gonna need to know who took that pic of fatin STAT. she looks so happy it’s making me yearn 

3:01 PM   -   June 13, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

iliana

@ilicitaffairs

omg what if it’s mystery girl from the bookstore

 

fatin’s bitch 

@fatinsnest

OMG WHAT IF FATIN HAS A GF FR

 

han

@dawnsofeve

fatin found in a gay bar? fork found on the kitchen come on now

 

james (lesbian version)

@augustbirds

if she really is dating the mystery girl…wow. that girl is living the dream 

 

Karen

@Karen8008135

Fatin Jadmani is not Gay ! Nothing against the LGBT but not every body needs to have a sexuality forced on them. Fatin is a very nice girl great actress and my daughters love her

 

alicia

@shalifork 

oh so now the karen whose bot username literally spells “boobies” is going to preach to us

 

thalia 

@jadmaneater

hate to break it to you lady but if your daughters love fatin jadmani they’re definitely lesbians 

 

--

 

Leah

great new picture on your instagram

i wonder who took it

 

Fatin

no clue but it was probably some gorgeous gorgeous girl who looks super cute in goggles

 

Leah

never wearing those again btw

i don’t care what you say i feel STUPID in those things

 

Fatin

but you looked so cute

 

Leah

more like i looked Acute…ly stupid

 

Fatin

stfu

don’t talk about my girlfriend like that

 

Leah

you’re such a freak

 

Fatin

you know it babe

 

Leah

you’re intolerable

 

Fatin

you seem to be tolerating me just fine

 

Leah

it’s rotten work

 

Fatin

…but not to you? not if it’s me?

 

Leah

especially to me

especially if it’s you

i appreciate you knowing euripides though

 

Fatin

so does that mean you want to get ice cream this afternoon

 

Leah

i suppose it does

boardwalk?

 

Fatin

golden state creamery let’s roll 

i’m buying



Leah

you know you don’t always have to pay for me just because you’re significantly richer right

 

Fatin

yeah but i like to spoil you

and also despoil you

i’m buying your ice cream, no arguments, but if you really want to pay me back you can give me head under the pier 

 

Leah

fatin

 

Fatin

just kidding 

unless

 

Leah

i’ll think about it

wear a skirt

 

Fatin

you got it baby

see you in 45

 

--

 

lex

@elextriccity

no way fatin jadmani and her friend just came in while i was on shift omfg

2:38 PM   -   June 14, 2023   -   Twitter for Android

 

marlene

@marleneforya

FUCK of all the days for me to call out

 

lex 

@elextriccity

girl i know! i tried to facetime you under the counter but you weren’t picking up :/

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

sorry ik we’re not mutuals but i’m just curious was fatin with shelby goodkind or toni shalifoe? please say yes

 

lex

@elextriccity

no it wasn’t either of them haha i prob would’ve fainted if it had been. it was a girl i didn’t recognize she was really pretty tho

 

kaylee

@okaykay

omg lex u met fatin! was she nice to you cause tbh i saw a video once that said she was a bitch 

 

lex

@elextriccity

no she was so so nice. she paid for both of their ice creams and tipped me fifty dollars 

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

so just to recap, fatin was on an ice cream date today with a girl that isn’t recognizable as anyone famous?? this screams secret girlfriend to me

3:00 PM   -   June 14, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

whitney

@wildheartgoodkind

it could just be a friend? shocking i know

 

abby

@fatinsbian

the girl who met them said fatin paid for both their ice creams. that’s a date

 

aria 

@milfatin

but a date with WHO

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

that’s the big question isn’t it 

 

--

 

Fatin

would you still love me if i was a worm

 

Leah

what

 

Fatin

just wondering 

 

Leah

why would you be a worm

i don’t understand

 

Fatin

it’s kind of adorable how out of touch you are with cultural references 

 

Leah

if this is culture then we as a society have become a wasteland

but also yes i would

 

Fatin

omg really

 

Leah

in theory yes

in practice i’d probably forget and step on you by accident

 

Fatin 

what the fuck

so you hate me

 

Leah

yes fatin that’s definitely it

i hate you

how’d you know

 

Fatin

well i THOUGHT you loved me

but then you said you’d murder worm-me in cold blood

 

Leah

it wouldn’t be on purpose

 

Fatin

that’s even worse

if you’re gonna kill me at least pay attention while you’re doing it 

 

Leah

you’re such an idiot

 

Fatin

but?

 

Leah

but you’re my idiot

 

Fatin

:))

 

--

 

Leah

i think i may have accidentally told fatin i love her for the first time

 

Dot

Lee how do you do that by accident

 

Leah

well she asked me if i would still love her if she was a worm

 

Dot

?

 

Leah

i don’t know!

i was hoping you’d know what this means

 

Dot

Don’t ask me 

I just live here

 

--

 

iamfatinjadmani

life’s pretty fucking great tbh

[Image Description: A picture of Fatin leaning against a kitchen counter with a bowl of oranges next to her. She’s caught mid-laugh, eyes bright with an unmistakable happiness; she’s got her right arm stretched across the counter, and her hand is clearly holding someone else’s right at the edge of the frame.]

View all 9, 860 comments

shelbygoodkind Lovely aesthetic for a lovely girl

tshalifoe kinda cute tbh

 

June 18, 2023

 

--

 

Fatin

soft launch stage 0.5 is going well

 

Leah

i don’t know about that

i looked in the comments and there’s about a thousand people theorizing that you’re dating shelby, toni, or both

 

Fatin

i saw those too

it’s kind of funny tbh like can’t a couple actresses interact with each other on ig to raise hype for their upcoming project without being suspected of polyamory

 

Leah

couldn’t blame you if the rumors were true honestly

shelby goodkind is a dreamboat

 

Fatin

is this you telling me you’re gonna leave me for shelby goodkind

wtf



Leah

if only you could see how hard i’m rolling my eyes right now

 

Fatin

well don’t hurt yourself baby

do you want me to clear things up 

make a tweet or something idk

 

Leah

it’s okay

i mean, announcing that you’re not in a throuple is infinitely more suspicious than ignoring the rumors that you’re part of a throuple

 

Fatin

you’re so sexy when you’re using logic

 

Leah

well one of us has to

 

Fatin

mean

but fr you’re not mad or anything are you

 

Leah

no of course not

it’s not like you can control any of this stuff

and besides it’s objectively hilarious

 

Fatin

god i know

as if we’d ever be in a throuple. those two are way too sickeningly in love to let anyone else in 

and even if they weren’t i wouldn’t go for shelby 

i love her to death but the sunny southern sweetheart thing just for me 

as for toni. what can i say but LOL. she’s so not my type

 

Leah

hm

good to know

well what IS your type

 

Fatin

let’s see 

my ideal girl would probably be…idk a brunette with blue eyes

5’ 8 but pretends she’s 5’ 9 because she’s a stubborn little bitch in the hottest way possible

wears reading glasses and looks absolutely adorable in them

cute and hot and smart as a fucking whip

loves used books and the beach at sunset and the smell of pink carnations and steals my sweatshirts when she thinks i’m not looking 

so nothing like you obviously 

 

Leah

shut the fuck up

i adore you

i don’t care what the internet says

i know i’m yours and that’s all that matters to me

 

Fatin

i’m yours too

i told you before baby

i’m here for as long as you want me 

 

Leah

better get comfortable then

you’re gonna be here a while

 

Fatin

oh i’m counting on it

so should i tell shelby and toni that it’s not them, it’s me

 

Leah

i changed my mind

we’re breaking up right now

 

--

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

so are we just ignoring the fact that fatin soft launched on instagram today

7:27 PM   -   June 18, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone  

 

shiv

@blindsideds

soft launched Who! 

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

no clue but that ig post is Clearly soft launching someone. look at their hands 

 

rina

@dykegenius

that should be me.mp4 

 

--

 

Monday, June 21, 2023

Blind Items Revealed #69

 

Word on the street has it this up and coming A-list celebrity who’s become Hollywood’s hottest It Girl in the last year has more surprises than just a swoon-worthy photo shoot and a new project up her sleeve. Although her name has been linked to a certain C-list band member in the past, those rumors were never substantiated and now we know why. Various sources have seen her out and about, turning over a new romantic leaf, and let’s just say this relationship maybe isn’t quite what people would expect from her. 

 

--

 

Fatin

first day of filming starts rn

wish me luck

 

Leah

good luck baby

 

Fatin

did you just call me baby

 

Leah

hell no i didn’t

you must be seeing things

 

Fatin

fuck i love it when you get soft on me

say it again

 

Leah

no

 

Fatin

please

 

Leah

have a good day today baby

 

Fatin

god

i’m coming home to you as soon as i’m done here

 

Leah

sounds good to me

now go join your throuple

i mean *cast members 

autocorrect is so crazy 

 

Fatin

yeah you’re sooo funny

don’t worry i’ll let them down easy 

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

great day to have a day w @tshals @ShelbyGoodkind 

11:48 AM    -    June 22, 2023    -   Twitter for iPhone

 

shelby goodkind defender 

@goodkindism

omg omg omg the three of you hanging out together is all i need in life 

 

allie

@fatinluvr

what are you three up to hm? don’t be shy let’s hear it

 

sierra

@swiftshalifoe

u gotta chill w this they are not dating lmfao. innocent until proven throuple

 

allie

@fatinluvr

idc if i’m being delusional i am fucking crazy but i am free 

 

han

@dawnsofeve

yesterday there was a blind item about an A list it girl celeb having an unexpected relationship and today fatin’s tweeting that she’s having a day with toni and shelby. coincidence? i think not

12:26 PM   -   June 21, 2023   -   Twitter for Android

 

allie

@fatinluvr

THANK U! finally someone agrees with me

 

jenna

@goodkindslay

they could just have started filming for the wilds

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

filming? is that what they call it these days

 

--

 

Fatin

hey

i miss you

 

Leah

hi

sorry i skipped dinner tonight i just don’t feel great

and by that i mean i feel like there’s a semi truck driving figure eights through my thoughts

 

Fatin

aw babe 

no it’s okay

but we all missed you 

especially me

i had fun with dot and nora but rachel spent the whole time making fun of me for the whole throuple allegations thing

 

Leah

lmao yeah sounds about right

pro tip if you ever want her to shut up about something just ask her why synchronized dives are overrated and she won’t talk about anything else for at least half an hour

 

Fatin

writing that one down for future ref

i do feel a little weird hanging with your friends but not you

 

Leah

don’t feel weird, i like that you’re part of the group now

plus i told dot to go without me like six times especially since i know she and the twins wanted to hit the bars after

i just feel like genuine ass otherwise i would’ve been there

and it’s so frustrating because i WANTED to go and i know i would’ve had a good time but sometimes i just get in my head like this where i can’t imagine doing anything at all even if it’s something i know i’d enjoy

i hate feeling this way

 

Fatin

i’m sorry baby

do you want me to come over 

 

Leah

that’s some codependent shit right there

 

Fatin

okay so you want me to

 

Leah

yes please

 

Fatin

getting in the car rn

and i’m bringing you a marg to go maybe that’ll help

 

Leah

i thought they didn’t do takeout alcohol at mi pueblo

 

Fatin

they don’t usually but i sweet talked the waiter

i’m just that charming i guess

headed over rn, try not to die before i get there

 

Leah

dragging myself back from the brink of death just for you

 

--

 

shelbygoodkind

Had the best time with this one today :) 

[Image Description: A picture of Shelby and Toni sitting on a roof together with their backs to the camera, leaning against each other while the sun sets in streaks of gold above them.]

View all 7, 684 comments

iamfatinjadmani @tshalifoe ten bucks says you fell off the roof right after this pic was taken

tshalifoe @iamfatinjadmani fuck u i caught myself before anything happened

 

June 27, 2023

 

--

 

toni shalifoe’s doormat

@shalifordvferrari 

GUYS SHONI SOFT LAUNCH??

8:48 PM   -   June 27, 2023   -   Twitter for Android

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins 

they seem to be very good friends

 

— allie

@fatinluvr 

okay but what does this mean for fashoni

 

-- 

 

Fatin

toni’s making me go to the flower store with her bc it’s her six months with shelby but she doesn’t know how to buy flowers 

she just asked if they have any flowers that are “romantic without looking like sissy pieces of shit”

 

Leah

jesus

just tell her to get chocolates or something this is clearly not working for her

 

Fatin

she’s taking apart one of their bouquets now and asking if they can add more yellow flowers instead of pink

 

Leah

why do i feel like you’re sitting on the sidelines just laughing at her instead of helping

 

Fatin

probably bc that’s exactly what i’m doing

 

Leah

be nice baby

 

Fatin

i am 

i’m NICELY asking the saleslady if there’s any pink carnations for you

 

Leah

well i can’t argue with that

 

--

 

Leah

wanna go out tonight

fatin said she’ll bring shelby and toni

 

Rachel

i’m all in bitches 

 

Dot

I’m down but you already knew that

 

Nora

I suppose it would be nice to meet them, Shelby Goodkind especially.

She is quite pretty.

 

Rachel

nora are you saying you think shelby’s hot wtf

 

Nora

I don’t think anyone could disagree with that statement. Have you seen her?

 

Leah

i feel bad saying this now but she’s taken

 

Nora

Oh, I know.

She and Toni Shalifoe have been in a relationship for what I estimate to be around six months now.

 

Rachel

what

 

Dot

What

 

Leah

what

how the hell did you figure that out

 

Nora

It was easy, really. All it took was a cursory analysis of Shelby’s latest post on Instagram.

So, what time are we meeting?

 

Leah

soft 10 for pregame at our apartment

we’re going easier on the drinks this time though i don’t want us to get too fucked up tonight

 

--

 

Dot

Whered you and Fatin go we  lost you

 

Leah

wer’e fucking

gettinng drinks

Message 2/2 failed to send

 

Dot

Forget i asked I dontwant to know

 

--

 

Leah

are we out of tylenol

 

Dot

No there’s some in the living room

 

Leah

my dearest darling dot my best friend in the entire world

will you bring me some

 

Dot

No

 

Leah

you’re the worst

 

Dot

You’re less than ten feet away from me

I can literally see you typing right now

 

Leah

yes but my head hurts so bad i would rather die than move even one inch

if you bring me tylenol i’ll make chocolate chip pancakes when i’m done puking in the bathroom

 

Dot

Sold

You want one or two

 

Leah

better bring the whole bottle tbh

i’m in the trenches right now

 

--

 

Unknown Number

Hi Leah! It’s Shelby

It was really nice to meet you last night

I was thinking maybe you and Fatin and Toni and I could go on a double date sometime 

 

Leah

oh hi shelby

yeah i’d like that a lot

what were you thinking

 

Shelby

Lunch maybe?

I’ll talk to Toni about it and let you guys know!

 

Leah

okay sounds good

btw tell toni i’m sorry for spilling vodka cran on her shoes last night

 

Shelby

I’m not going to do that haha

Only because she has no idea it was you and it’s probably best to keep it that way

 

--



hollywoodhotgoss.com

Wilds Girls Gone Wild

 

Things are certainly getting exciting for the Wilds stars off-set! A video taken from inside the exclusive 65Below club last night shows Fatin Jadmani and Toni Shalifoe dancing on top of a table while Shelby Goodkind and a fourth unidentified girl laugh and sing along to the music. A second video taken later in the same night shows the unidentified girl sitting in a corner and looking VERY unhappy, even beginning to cry while Fatin says something to her.

Is this friendly fire or a lovers’ quarrel? And where does it fit in with the rumor that Fatin is in a throuple with Toni and Shelby? We don’t know all the details, but this situation seems like it might not be on the straight and narrow - might not be straight at all, in fact. 

 

June 28, 2023

 

--

 

Leah

according to hollywoodhotgoss.com we’re fighting and probably on the verge on a breakup

they somehow got a video of me from last night when i took a sixth shot and started drunk crying over the fact that penguins mate for life

this is the second time they’ve done me dirty now i haven’t forgotten about their fake reporting on your favorite ice cream flavor

 

Fatin

i told you you should get better sources

wait they got a video of you 

i’ll fucking kill them

do you want me to sue the website

 

Leah

no it’s alright

we can handle this like normal people

 

Fatin

suing is normal

 

Leah

babe

 

Fatin

fine

i just don’t want anyone fucking with you

no one gets to fuck with you except me

 

Leah

just how i like it

 

Fatin

jeannette’s probably going to be on my ass about this

she likes that we’re dating but only on a personal level 

she says she thinks it’s a time bomb set into motion

i say she doesn’t know shit and she should turn off the best of p!nk playlist in the background before i throw up on her office floor

so we’re pretty much even

 

Leah

that actually made me laugh out loud

just a tiny bit

 

Fatin

damn right i’m funny as fuck

i don’t know why she’s got a stick so far up her ass about this tho like she’s worried bc i’ve never had a relationship in the public eye

closest thing to media scrutiny i ever got was that kirin guy and i never even hooked up with him 

 

Leah

not going to lie i still don’t know who that is

 

Fatin

some D-list-for-douchebag dumbfuck who plays guitar in a lame ass band 

i met him at a party once, we left together, the paps caught us

i didn’t even go home with him tho i got so bored listening to him during the drive to his place that i climbed out of the car at a red light and walked home

 

Leah

you what

 

Fatin

but yeah i dunno why jeannette’s having a cow

i know there’s a ton of homophobes out there and people fucking suck sometimes but i really don’t care what people think of me

and shelby and toni aren’t even online official yet and the public loves them

 

Leah

can i ask

where exactly are you on the whole spectrum of like, being out to the public

not that you should have to come out i think that’s kind of a stupid concept but just in general

 

Fatin

well they don’t know but they don’t exactly not know either

i’ve never really hidden anything

i’ve just only been famous for about two years and i was always discreet about hookups and stuff 

and i haven’t dated anyone in that time besides you

and even before that i never was the relationship type so they can’t dig up any past girlfriends or anything

 

Leah

hold on

are you telling me i’m the only one you’ve ever dated

 

Fatin

yes baby that’s exactly what i’m telling you

 

Leah

oh wow

all that big talk and you’ve only ever pulled me

 

Fatin

HEY 

i pull

you're just the one person i didn’t want to push away again afterwards

 

Leah

i like that

i like being the one you want

 

Fatin

yeah?

want to come over and let me show you how much i want you?

 

Leah

yes

right now

but i have one more question

 

Fatin

yes baby

 

Leah

why me?

why am i your exception

i’m just a girl

 

Fatin

you’re not just a girl

you’re THE girl

 

Leah

but what is it about me

i don’t understand

 

Fatin

well i could write about ten pages trying to explain 

but when it really comes down to is this

i love you

that’s all there is to it, really

 

Leah

oh

 

Fatin

yeah oh

 

Leah

i’m coming over now

i love you too

 

Fatin

kk

 

Leah

wait but back when we first matched

you didn’t even know me then

what made me so special

 

Fatin

i don’t even know

it’s like i saw you and i knew right from the start i wouldn’t be able to let go of you if i tried

there’s just something about you

 

Leah

and

 

Fatin

and you’re really hot

 

Leah

there it is

 

Fatin

it’s a hard job being this romantic all the time but someone’s got to do it 

 

--

 

Leah

going on a lunch double date with fatin toni and shelby

literally what is my life

 

Dot

Pretty damn gay

That’s what your life is

 

Leah

you got that right

 

Dot

Do you know where you’re going

 

Leah

no but i know it’s not super fancy so that’s a relief

still freaking out just a little though

 

Dot

You’ll be fine Lee just breathe 

And remember that Toni is shorter than you so you’ve got a height advantage if you have to fist fight her 

 

Leah

thanks that was oddly comforting

are you at work rn

 

Dot

Yeah they called me in early to sort out some electrical main problem

But I think I’m almost do

Mnnnnggrrzkkhh 

 

Leah

dot

dot??

 

Dot

Just electrocuted myself by accident 

I probably shouldn’t be texting on the job 

Good luck at brunch and bring back me a cocktail 

 

Leah

be careful with your wires if you die i’ll die too

okay will do

 

--

 

Toni Shalifoe paid you

June 29 - Private Transaction

+$75.00

shelby’s making me venmo u bc i ruined ur shoes w mimosa at brunch today but so here’s the money but tbh i don’t feel bad abt it bc u spilled vodka cran on mine first and mine were a lot cooler

 

--

 

L.A. INQUIRER

Three’s Not a Crowd

 

Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind and Toni Shalifoe are three of the hottest girls in the world and the industry right now, and something tells us that they’re only getting hotter…with each other. Our sources spotted the trio out and getting cozy at lunch in midtown. Shelby and Toni were holding hands while Fatin was touching Shelby’s mouth in a very intimate way. 

This brunch, it should be noted, took place just a few days after Shelby and Toni posted together on Instagram and Fatin liked and commented on the post. Are they just the best of friends, or will these three be the first ever throuple in Hollywood to go public with their relationship? 

 

June 29, 2023

 

 

Fatin

i regret everything

i should’ve just let shelby sit thru the rest of lunch with ranch dressing on her lip instead of trying to wipe it off for her

i almost had toni do it instead but that would’ve turned x rated real quick and we were in public

 

Leah

lmfao true

also are you kidding me

how did the tabloid guys manage to show up for pictures in the one second window where i got up to ask for more water 

 

Fatin

at this rate if you’d been in the picture they’d have called us a polycule

 

Leah

for shit’s sake

 

Fatin

btw did you manage to get that old fashioned back to dot

 

Leah

no i’m so mad

i tripped on my way back to our apartment and spilled it

but it fell on the carpet by our neighbor’s door instead of ours so i’ll count that as a win

 

--

 

jess

@beersforqueers

i don’t go here but can someone please tell me what the hell is going on with fatin jadmani shelby goodkind and toni shalifoe

 

horrible little goblin girl

@gaypigeons

girl if we knew…

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

i don’t know at all i feel like i need some kind of flowchart to understand whatever this is

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

the three of them seem to have whatever it is they have going on rn but then there’s also the mystery bookstore girl that fatin went out on a date with. also the ice cream date girl. and we don’t even know if those two girls were the same

 

jess

@beersforqueers

lmfao what in the L word

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

IDK! 

 

jess

@beersforqueers

well whatever it is, good for them. celesbian drama you will always be famous

 

anna

@celesbians

you called?

 

jess

@beersforqueers

yes please explain the fatin shelby toni throuple to me

 

anna

@celesbians

help i don’t even know where to start with them

 

rat lord girl of the subway

@seashantywhore

i have no idea what they’re doing but they’re doing it flawlessly. raising the bar for everyone

 

--

 

HOLLYWOOD MIRROR

Ménage a Trois or Fatal Flaw?

 

The past two weeks have seen Fatin Jadmani getting close and comfy with Shelby Goodkind and Toni Shalifoe, who will be starring alongside her in upcoming film The Wilds. Some are even saying that the three are a little more than friends, and when you stack up all the evidence from social media and pap photos, the argument doesn’t seem as crazy as it sounds. 

But there’s also the question of Fatin’s other exploits. Multiple sources from Twitter, such as this and this, have stated that they’ve witnessed her out and about on maybe-dates with other girls. Fatin has never explicitly stated anything about her sexuality, but she’s also never been linked to any men that we know of except Kirin O’Connor, the guitarist for Mansplainers, who currently has a girlfriend. 

So what is going on? Is there a throuple, or a Fatin just a player? And whose hearts will be broken at the end?

 

June 30, 2023

 

--

 

Rachel

they eating ur girl alive on twitter rn

 

Leah

i know

but i’m eating her OUT right now so who’s really winning

 

Rachel

r u really

eww why r u texting me then

 

Leah

okay i didn’t mean right this second

i was exaggerating for dramatic effect

 

Rachel

thank god

when ur done boning wanna come over n run mario kart 

 

Leah

i just said that i’m not

never mind. yes

i have dibs on toad

 

--

 

Leah

it’s kind of ridiculous that the media’s portraying you as some kind of playboy goddess when i know for a fact that i’m the only girlfriend you’ve ever had

 

Fatin

don’t hate the player hate the game

 

Leah

you’re so irritating

 

Fatin

you know you love it

 

Leah

unfortunately i do

sushi tonight?

 

Fatin

you got it baby

 

--

 

Shelby

Hi Leah

Just wanted to say I’m sorry about all the rumors going around right now

People will say anything

I feel bad that you’re indirectly caught up in this

 

Leah

that’s sweet shelby but i’m okay

it’s kind of funny honestly

 

Shelby

It is a little bit yeah

Toni’s mad that the media thinks Fatin has more game than her

 

Leah

HA

btw thanks for making her venmo me for the shoes you didn’t have to do that

 

Shelby

No problem

I’ve seen her paychecks I know she can afford it

 

--

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani 

kind of crazy how 1989 (deluxe) is the best pop album ever written

1:57 PM   -   July 1, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

sierra

@swiftshalifoe

omfg fatin’s a taylor girlie 

 

serena

@wonderswifts

SO TRUE BESTIE what’s your favorite song 

 

fatin

@iamfatinjadmani

new romantics by far 

 

serena

@wonderswifts

no shot fatin picked new romantics as her favorite 1989 song lmfao. the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true…this has to be some kind of message

2:01 PM   -   July 1, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

shiva baby’s oscar campaign manager

@leftanoteonthedoor

fatin using a taylor swift song name drop to soft launch the confirmation of her gay throuple relationship is camp actually

 

--

 

Leah

dude come on

new romantics is a great song but is it really favorite worthy

 

Fatin

um yes?

literally baby i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me and every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream

 

Leah

you’re such a loser

 

Fatin

loser? i hardly know her

 

Leah

i have got to get a normaler girlfriend

 

--

 

THE SUN

Traffic on the Threeway!

 

Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind and Toni Shalifoe are currently rumored to be in a lesbian throuple. 

Read more

 

July 2, 2023

 

--

 

Fatin

baby i overheard the girl in front of me ordering just now and they’re out of oat milk 

what do you want in your latte instead

 

Leah

NO

okay i’ll just have regular milk then

the almond milk never mixes very well

 

Fatin

two percent or whole

tell me quick i’m almost to the register

 

Leah

whole milk’s good

thanks babe

 

Fatin

of course

wait what’s the starbucks word for medium i can’t remember it

leah

leah

LEAH

TELL ME IM ABOUT TO ORDER

 

Leah

sorry i was in the bathroom

 

Fatin

you’re too late

just ordered a medium latte and the barista told me to kill myself

 

--

 

STAR WEEKLY 

The Rumors Are Terrible and Cruel…

 

…but based on the nuances of a recent tweet from Fatin Jadmani, the ones about her relationship with Toni Shalifoe and Shelby Goodkind might just be true.

Read more 

 

July 3, 2023

 

--

 

Leah

you’re coming to the fireworks with us tomorrow right

 

Fatin

wouldn’t miss it for the world 

 

Leah

dot and nora and rachel will be there and shelby texted me to invite us her pool party after

 

Fatin

wtf why didn’t she text ME

 

Leah

i’m her favorite 

duh

 

Fatin

HOW

i WORK with her

 

Leah

well i’m nice to her

and i don’t refer to her as little miss jesus freak every other time we hang out

unlike someone i could name

 

Fatin

unbelievable 

okay whatever it’s fine i’m fine

see you tonight

 

--

 

SUB ROSA

Let Threedom Ring! 

 

Hollywood darlings Fatin Jadmani, Shelby Goodkind, and Toni Shalifoe are allegedly engaged in a polyamorous relationship.

Read more

 

July 4, 2023

 

--

 

Dot

We went to Shelby’s pool party last night right 

 

Leah

yes

i went home with fatin

 

Dot

Yeah I remember you telling me that 

What I don’t remember is:

  1. Anything else that happened during the night
  2. Why I found a whole watermelon in my bed this morning

 

Leah

you what

 

Dot

No clue, I just woke up and there it was

 

Leah

lmfaooo

yeah i have no clue

i can barely think my head hurts so bad

 

Dot

Me too

I think we should make an agreement

 

Leah

we’re never drinking again

 

Dot

We’re never drinking again

 

--

 

HOLLYCHAT

Good Things Come In Threes

 

Hollywood’s got a new celebrity couple - except it’s not a couple at all. Just ask Fatin Jadmani.

Read more

 

July 5, 2023

 

--

 

Toni Shalifoe requested Dot Campbell

July 5

$10.00

this isn’t abt the money idc abt that but dude where the fuck did you put my watermelon

 

--

 

THE INSIDER MAGAZINE

Faux Pas de Trois

 

Fatin Jadmani, Toni Shalifoe, and Shelby Goodkind are allegedly in a relationship. Here’s why that could be disastrous for their upcoming movie.

Read more

 

July 7, 2023

 

--

 

You paid Fatin Jadmani

July 8

+$25.00

dot and i abused your starbucks card sorry you’re gonna have to reload it

 

Fatin Jadmani paid you

July 8 - Private Transaction

+$50.00

just buy a new one for yourself baby

 

--

 

THE NEW YORKER

Should Love Have Boundaries? 

 

What should be the policy on relationships between collaborators within a workplace? To answer this question using a specific example, we take a look within the film industry. 

Read more

 

July 9, 2023

 

--

 

Fatin

on set rn and gretch just yelled at a guy until he started crying

 

Leah

no way

 

Fatin

i’m dead serious

i don’t see him anymore i think he’s hiding

 

Leah

poor dude

that’s wild

lmfao no pun intended

 

Fatin

ik

better him than one of us tho

i get a lunch break at 12:30 wanna come eat in my trailer

 

Leah

oh sure i’ll just head to paramount and walk right in

 

Fatin

you can

when you get to the parking lot just ask for security guard frank from lot 5

he’ll bring you over

 

Leah

are you serious

 

Fatin

would i lie to you 

he’ll even give you a vip pass

cause you’re my vip

 

Leah

this feels like it should be off limits

 

Fatin

you’re my girlfriend 

nothing is off limits baby

so you wanna come for lunch?

 

Leah

of course

and i’m bringing you lasagna leftovers

 

Fatin

i love you so much

 

--

 

Film Takes

@CinemaRules 

Not going to lie i’m not sure how i feel about knowing that all three stars of a highly anticipated film are dating

2:16 PM    -   July 10, 2023   -   Twitter for Android

 

— mason

@clockworkorange88

No fr it’s weird as fuck no hate to polyamorous people but i don’t fuck with that 

 

— jay

@fightclubs

Yeah I’m a big fan of Gretchen Klein’s directorial style but I’m probably going to take a pass on the Wilds because of this 

 

--

 

Leah

want to go to the beach with me tomorrow and watch the sunrise

 

Fatin

that’s so motherfucking early

literally ass o’clock in the morning

why would you want to wake up that early

and why would you want to drag ME into it

 

Leah

because the sunrise is pretty

and so are you

 

Fatin

get me an espresso and i’m there baby

 

--

 

Karen Brown

@KarenBrown46

Very disappointed in Shelby Goodkind. That girl used to be so sweet on Disney channel now she is a lesbian with two other girls at the same time. She has clearly lost her good American value.

8:35 AM   -   July 10, 2023   -   Twitter for Chromebook

 

shelby goodkind defender 

@goodkindism

good american value this ratio

 

fatin’s fingernails

@jadmanicure

getting 600 more likes than the original tweet…ugh your power 

 

--

 

Fatin

hi baby

 

Leah

?

 

Fatin 

don’t ? me

i’m just saying hi

 

Leah

we’re literally lying in bed together right now

you don’t have to text me

 

Fatin

but i wanted to

 

Leah

you’re literally so stupid

i love you so much

 

Fatin

:’)

 

--

 

The L Word on Showtime

@LWordGenQ

@tshals @fatinjadmani @ShelbyGoodkind got space on your schedules anytime soon?

 

lana

@shalifoedyke

LMFAO? 

 

dawn of niamh

@shalifatins

omfg are they fr gonna be on the L word 

 

The L Word on Showtime

@LWordGenQ

That’s what we’re hoping for!

 

--

 

Inbox: July 12 

1 New Email >>

 

From: Jeannnette Dao < jeannettedao@fcktalent.org>

CC: Imogen Jones <imogenjones @rcapartners.org>, Alicia Brown <aliciabrown@wme.org

To: Fatin Jadmani <fatinjadmani@fcktalent.org>, Shelby Goodkind <shelbygoodkind@ rcapartners.org>, Toni Shalifoe <tshalifoe13@ wme.org>, leah rilke <leahrilke02@gmail.com>

Hello everyone, 

Apologies for any informality, but I thought it best to gather all the relevant people in one place. 

As I’m sure you’re all aware, there have been many rumors going around lately about the nature of the relationship between Fatin, Toni, and Shelby. There is obviously no truth to these fabrications, but I feel that it is best to address the issue now rather than let it continue to grow. 

I’m unsure of the exact dimensions of what you are all comfortable with doing, but I’m willing to hear any and all suggestions. 

Best, 

Jeannette Dao, FCK Talent

 

From: Alicia Brown

Hello all, 

Thank you to Jeannette for organizing this correspondence. I am in full agreement - this is a problem we need to solve as soon as possible. 

Best, 

Alicia Brown, WME Talent Agency

 

From: Imogen Jones 

Hello, 

I would like to third my agreement on this matter. As Shelby’s new agent, one of my objectives is to maintain her image in the eyes of the public. Needless to say, a polyamorous relationship with her co-stars does not fit well with that image. 

Regards, 

Imogen Jones, RCA Partners Talent

 

From: Toni Shalifoe 

holy mother of fucking god can agents ever just talk like normal people 

 

From: Alicia Brown

Toni, 

Please at least try to cooperate here. I did make an attempt to work this out with you on an individual level first, but you weren’t answering your phone. 

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

prob bc i saved your contact as “don’t pick up” after you shot down my idea about the man-free lesbian cowboy show yd 

 

From: Alicia Brown

I told you, the network would never go for that. 

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

pfft u didn’t even try 

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

lesbian cowboy show w no men? shit shalifoe i’d get in on that concept it sounds fire

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

right

 

From: Jeannette Dao 

Ladies, could we please try to focus and develop a solution here. Thank you. 

 

From: leah rilke 

sorry but why am i here exactly

 

From: Jeannette Dao 

I thought that seeing as you and Fatin are in a relationship, it would be best to include you within this conversation. 

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

hey that’s a sweet move actually, good on you jeannette

 

From: leah rilke

oh well thank you jeannette 

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

leah baby i’m ordering lunch do you want mild spice or medium spice with your curry 

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

ew fatin get ur happy couple shit out of the email chain

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

you’re just mad that your girlfriend isn’t on the chain rn so you can do the exact same thing 

 

From: Jeannette Dao 

Fatin please.

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

okay okay. focusing rn

 

From: Shelby Goodkind 

Hi y’all! What’s going on here?

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

hey babe

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

oho! now who’s putting their happy couple shit all over this email chain

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

still u bitch

 

From: Imogen Jones

Are they always like this?

 

From: Jeannette Dao

Unfortunately, yes. 

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

jeannette relax. just pop a tab put on some p!nk and chill everything’s gonna be fine

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

did u fr just tell ur agent to pop tab

 

From: Fatin Jadmani

yeah pretty much

 

From: Jeannette Dao

Not for the first time, either. For the record, I’ve never listened to her. 

 

From: Shelby Goodkind

Okay I read through the chain and I’m all caught up now. This is just my opinion but I think that the easiest way to get rid of the rumors would be by going public with our real relationships. Obviously I don’t want to force Leah to be in the public spotlight if she doesn’t want to, so that’s her decision to make, but Toni and I could at least make it official online 

 

From: Imogen Jones

Shelby, as I’ve already stated before, it would be best to wait on doing so until at least after The Wilds premieres. It may do some damage control now, but the public still might not take kindly to two co-stars dating each other. 

 

From: Shelby Goodkind

Well with all due respect ma’am, I kind of don’t give a horse’s ass what you or the public think. This is the easiest way to get that solution y’all are so desperate for, and I’m tired of all but hiding my relationship with the person who makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. So that’s my vote 

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

babe ur so fucking sexy when ur being a badass. i agree w u i’m totally ready to go public 

 

From: Imogen Jones

Why do I even bother trying? 

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

ok rilke n jadmani ur move

 

From: Shelby Goodkind

Leah, Fatin, do whatever you have to do and we’ll support you no matter what. Also, are we still coming over for game night?

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

oh yeah btw is it chill if i bring my best friend martha tn? rilke it’s ur place lmk 

 

From: leah rilke 

yeah we’re still on and yeah sure bring her, nora and rachel are coming too so it’ll be full house

 

From: Toni Shalifoe

lit. bye motherfuckers bye shelbs 

 

From: Alicia Brown

That didn’t go exactly how we planned, did it. 

 

From: Jeannette Dao

Not really, no. 

 

--

 

Toni Shalifoe paid you

June 12 - Private Transaction

+$100.00

sorry for breaking ur lamp when rachel bankrupted me in monopoly ln it wasn’t on purpose

 

You paid Toni Shalifoe

June 12 

+$88.00 

it’s fine that lamp was literally twelve bucks at goodwill lmfao

 

You requested Toni Shalifoe

June 12 

$88.00

actually no give that back i forgot you’re rich

 

--

 

tshalifoe better late than never…happy 6 to my gorgeous gf @shelbygoodkind

[Image Description, Slide 1: A picture of Toni and Shelby standing in front of a wall covered in dark swirls of pink, orange, and white painted graffiti. Shelby is laughing, and Toni is smiling, and the way they’re looking at each other is bright enough to light up the entire city.]

Image Description, Slide 2: A picture of Toni and Shelby kissing in front of the same wall. There’s something almost overwhelmingly relieved about the way they hold each other, like they’ve been waiting months for this moment.]

View all 13, 690 comments

iamfatinjadmani my fav couple in the world

leahrilke you guys are like penguins

tshalifoe what the fuck does that mean

leahrilke they’re monogamous and mate for life

shelbygoodkind Awww Leah that’s so sweet

leahrilke they’re also dumb birds just like you @toni

tshalifoe just when i thought i was finally starting to like u

 

July 13, 2023

 

--

 

Fatin

those dorks really did it

i’m happy for them

 

Leah

me too

i’ve only known them for a little while but i kind of love them

well i love shelby

i tolerate toni

 

Fatin

everyone tolerates toni 

everyone who doesn’t straight up hate her anyway

so do you have any thoughts on what you want to do

it’s completely up to you baby 

if you want to keep it quiet i’ll gladly do that if you want to go public i’ll shout that shit from the rooftops 

 

Leah

i think i want to go public

i doubt anyone will care anyway it’s not like i’m famous

and it does scare me a little but i can move past that. i want people to know that you’re not on the market

you’re all mine

 

Fatin

that’s so fucking hot 

please choke me 

 

Leah

what

 

Fatin

what

 

Leah

and you say I’M the one pretending to be a top

 

Fatin

i can be a top and still want to get choked

i contain multitudes

 

Leah

okay so how are we doing this

 

Fatin

well i was thinking we’d start with you getting on top of me and putting your hand around my throat until i can barely breathe but i’m open to suggestion 

 

Leah

i meant how are we going public not how am i choking you

i can work that second one out for myself just fine

 

Fatin

oh

well how big do you want to go

 

Leah

let’s put it this way

i don’t want to go home

 

Fatin

let me think about it 

i’ll come up with something

in the meantime will you come over and fuck me

 

Leah

yes

leaving now

 

--

 

Leah

fatin and i are going public

i don’t expect much to come of it since i’m not a celebrity or anything

 

Dot

Oh damn 

 

Leah

i keep telling myself not to be scared but i still kind of am

 

Dot

Makes sense

Fatin’s got a lot of influence 

Lot of crazy fans too

 

Leah

yeah

 

Dot

But you know none of that matters cause whatever happens we’ll always have your back

Especially me

 

Leah

thanks dot

i love you

 

Dot

Hey don’t go soft on me now

I love you too Lee

 

Leah

dinner tonight? just you and me?

 

Dot

Always has been always will be 

Let’s do it

 

--

 

[Fatin]

hey there hot stuff 

u up? 

 

[Leah]

why are you like this 

no

 

[Fatin]

rude 

is that any way to talk to your girlfriend 

 

[Leah]

yes it’s the only way

what’s up 

 

[Fatin]

turns out there’s some big event happening this weekend 

and i was wondering if you’d maybe want to be my date 

 

[Leah]

did you really just tinder message me to ask if i’ll be your date to the oscars 

you’re incorrigible 

 

[Fatin]

it’s so sexy how you know words 

so do you wanna 

 

[Leah]

i can’t stand you 

of course i do 

 

[Fatin]

fuck yes 

wear something slutty 

 

[Leah]

i’m not dressing slutty on national tv

i swear to god

 

[Fatin]

okay fine 

you’re no fun 

but i love you anyway 

 

[Leah]

yeah yeah 

i’m leaving my place now, see you soon 

 

[Fatin]

:)

 

[Leah]

hey fatin 

 

[Fatin]

yes beloved 

 

[Leah]

i love you too

just so you know

 

[Fatin]

i do baby 

i do

 

--

 

VARIETY

July 19, 2023

 

Oscars Red Carpet: Film and Fashion Collide This Weekend

By Heidi Hoskins

 

The Oscars will be airing live this Sunday at 5PM PT/8 PM ET, and while we are all excited to see which of our favorite films and actresses will be taking home a little gold statue or two, the real excitement - for the fashion enthusiasts, anyway - comes from the red carpet beforehand. 

With this year’s attendees expected to arrive in everything from Gucci to Yves St Laurent, the night will be a spectacle for fashionistas and casual fans alike. The online buzz surrounding the Oscars is tremendous: the topic is trending on Twitter with nearly 30K tweets, and the top-searched question on Google today was “What time do the Oscars come on?” 

If Twitter is any metric to go on, most people are especially excited to see Fatin Jadmani’s outfit for the night, recalling last year’s awards ceremony when she dazzled the red carpet with an emerald green number by Oscar de la Renta. Her name topped the tweet trends at 7k tweets this morning, with co-star Shelby Goodkind not far behind at 5k. 

The Oscars red carpet show will air at 3PM PT/6PM ET. 

 

Heidi Hoskins is a contributing writer for Variety. 

 

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

can’t wait to see fatin jadmani go home with that oscar tonight 

2:22 PM   -   July 20, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone

 

ally

@seafruits

oh absolutely

 

fatin jadmani’s pr manager

@jadmanic

fatin jadmani nation we MOVE !!

 

--

 

[OSCARS LIVESTREAM: 3:00 PM PST]

 

INTERVIEWER #1: We’re coming to you live from the Oscars red carpet, just minutes before tonight’s esteemed guests begin their walk. It’s a beautiful day here in Los Angeles, sunny and low nineties, and the night’s forecast calls for clear skies - perfect for viewing the stars. 

INTERVIEWER #2: We won’t need to look at the sky to see stars tonight, though. They’ll all be out at the ceremony tonight. 

INTERVIEWER #1: Quite right. We’ll be doing brief interviews as the various guests walk the carpet - and here they come now. The first guests are pulling up to the carpet. 

INTERVIEWER #2: Shelby Goodkind and Toni Shalifoe have just arrived in matching outfits from Christian Dior. We’ll go to them first. 

 

--

 

Fatin

you ready baby?

 

Leah

ready as i’ll ever be

 

Fatin

let’s fucking do this

 

Leah

i love you

 

Fatin

i love you too baby

so fucking much

 

--

 

[OSCARS LIVESTREAM: 4:55 PM]

 

INTERVIEWER #1: As we get to the end of the red carpet show, here’s Fatin Jadmani -  a little late to the scene, yes, but looking absolutely stunning in black and gold silk. No surprise there. She dazzled us last year, and we expected that she’d do it again. 

INTERVIEWER #2: And she’s not here alone, either. There’s another woman with her. 

INTERVIEWER #1: Well, I don’t recognize Fatin’s date, but she’s wearing a lovely midnight blue suit, although I don’t recognize it from any designer line. Seems to be going for the classic no dress shirt, loose tie look. 

INTERVIEWER #2: Let’s find out right now. Hey, Fatin! Over here! 

FATIN: Good evening, ladies. 

INTERVIEWER #1: How are you feeling tonight? Any nerves? 

FATIN: (grinning) Nerves? Hell no. Every one of the actresses in my category is amazing and we’re all equally deserving of the win. Whoever wins, I’ll either be happy or happy for them. Besides, even without the Oscar, I’ve already got everything I need right here. 

INTERVIEWER #1: That’s a splendid look you’ve got tonight. Yves St Laurent, I presume? 

FATIN: Yeah, yeah, it’s from my new collaboration with them. Great line, love their work. 

INTERVIEWER #2: Alright, I can tell there’s other things on your mind, so - who’s your companion?

FATIN: Why don’t you ask her yourself? She’s right here. 

INTERVIEWER #2: Ah - alright. Would you like to introduce yourself for the audience?

LEAH: Um, hi. I’m Leah. 

INTERVIEWER #2: And what is it that you do? 

LEAH: Be Fatin’s girlfriend, mostly. 

FATIN: Best girlfriend I’ve ever had. (turns to Leah) Hey - don’t say it. 

LEAH: Ugh, fine. 

INTERVIEWER #1: So you two are dating, then?

FATIN: Yes. Yes we are. 

INTERVIEWER #1: How did you meet?

LEAH: (deadpan) Fishing trip, actually.  

FATIN: (laughing, to Leah) Shut up, baby. Yeah, we met on Tinder. I downloaded it as a joke - and then I found her and suddenly it didn’t seem so funny anymore. 

INTERVIEWER #2: (to Leah) And what did you think? 

LEAH: I thought she was a catfish. 

INTERVIEWERS: (laughing)

FATIN: It took me months to convince her otherwise, literal months, and she still didn’t believe it until we met up in person. 

INTERVIEWER #1: (to Leah) What did you think when you first saw her there?

LEAH: Well, the very first thing was, you know, “what the fuck, that’s actually Fatin Jadmani.”

INTERVIEWERS: (laughing)

LEAH: But after that…I can’t even describe it, really. It’s the kind of feeling that settles somewhere inside you like it’s building a home from your heart. It’s seeing someone and just knowing, like it’s always been there, like every book in the world has been opened for you. It’s the knowing and the wanting to know and the knowledge that yes, this is the person; yes, this is the one. Maybe I don’t love her now, but someday I will. 

INTERVIEWER #1: (quiet) Wow. That’s kind of beautiful. 

FATIN: (almost inaudible) Leah, what the fuck. 

LEAH: I do love her now, by the way. Just to clarify. 

INTERVIEWER #1: Yeah, we can tell. We can tell. 

FATIN: (soft; to Leah and Leah only) I love you so much, what the fuck. 

(beat) 

INTERVIEWER #1: Thank you for your time. You should get inside now, the ceremony’s about to begin - and Fatin, I wish you the best of luck tonight. 

FATIN: (winks) Win or lose, I’ll be getting lucky either way, so. 

LEAH: I hate you. 

INTERVIEWER #2: Er, right. Just one more question, please. Leah, what line is your suit from? It’s gorgeous. 

LEAH: Oh, this thing? I got it off the sale rack at Twice Upon a Time downtown. 

INTERVIEWER #2: But that - that’s a thrift store. 

LEAH: Yeah, I get most of my clothes second hand. It’s better for the environment, you know. 

INTERVIEWER #2: (faint, distressed) Um. Well, that’s…lovely. Have a wonderful night. 

FATIN: (taking Leah’s hand) Oh, we will. 

 

--

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

FATIN JADMANI HAS A GIRLFRIEND MY GOD I’VE PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS

5:05 PM   -   June 20, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

shelby goodkind defender

@goodkindism

GOD IS REAL AND SHE’S A LESBIAN

 

julienne

@jadmanipulator

leah making that beautiful speech about how she’s in love with fatin oh im going to die

5:09 PM   -   June 20, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

han 

@dawnsofeve

me and WHO! 

 

ally

@seafruits

my god those bitches are gay. good for them

5:25 PM   -   June 20, 2023   -   Twitter for iPhone 

 

horrible little goblin girl

@gaypigeons

GOOD FOR THEM !

 

--

 

allie 

@fatinluvr

so…who else saw that clip of fatin and her girlfriend at the end of the oscars… 

1:05 AM   -   July 21, 2023   -   Twitter for Android

 

julienne 

@jadmanipulator

LMFAOOO NO SHOT

 

han 

@dawnsofeve

no fucking way oh my god look at fatin’s neck

[IMG.069]

 

thalia

@jadmaneater

god what is it with gay women and bathrooms

 

--

 

iamfatinjadmani trophy life & trophy wife

[Image Description: A picture of Leah sitting against the headboard of a bed, wearing a faded Kid Cudi T-shirt easily recognizable as one that Fatin’s worn in previous posts. Leah’s smiling at the camera, a sarcastic little grin that turns sweet at the edges, and she’s got a book open in one hand: Adrienne Rich’s Twenty-One Love Poems. Next to her, resting casually against the duvet, is the golden shape of an Oscar statue.] 

View all 12, 830 comments

shelbygoodkind Congratulations Fatin! So proud of you <3

tshalifoe not bad jadmani. big ups 

dot.campbell Congrats, next twenty rounds are on you

rach_reid sick as fuck

nora.c.reid Did you know that the odds of you winning this award were 3:1? You were the projected favorite by a large margin, for good reason.

marthadances huge news! can’t believe i’ve played monopoly with an oscar winner :))

leahrilke who’s that girl in your bed? she looks kind of lame

iamfatinjadmani oh she’s no one special just the love of my life 

 

June 21, 2023

 

--

 

Fatin

hey

 

Leah

hi

 

Fatin 

i have something to say 

 

Leah

yeah? what is it 

 

Fatin  

i love you

 

Leah

i love you too

was that all you wanted to say

 

Fatin

well yeah

it’s the only thing i need to say isn’t it 

 

Leah

yes

yes it is

 

Fatin

i can’t believe we ended up here because you wanted to catch a catfish on tinder

that’s literally the best meet cute of all time

 

Leah

hey baby

shut up

 

Fatin

shutting up but only because you called me baby

 

Leah

you really are insufferable

 

Fatin

and yet you don’t seem to be suffering

 

Leah

i hide it well

 

Fatin

your love for me? no you don’t 

 

Leah

i really don’t, do i

that’s okay. i’m done hiding

 

Fatin

i’m so proud of you 

 

Leah

right back at you

want to get brunch with everyone? i’m sure there’s some place in the city that will seat eight people with no reservation on a sunday in the middle of summer

 

Fatin

fuck yes let’s text them rn

hey if we run into any problems i’ll just pull the oscar winner card

 

Leah

you’re such a little shit

 

Fatin

you love it

 

Leah

i do

okay they’re down for brunch

pick me up on the way?



Fatin

always, baby

always