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Fuck It, Marry Me

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    Amanda is an author and a journalist. She writes short stories; just last week, it was about the dying bees around the world. Now, she's writing something about the Inuit people and won't talk to anyone about it. Even her son.

    She thinks about him in the middle of researching and writes it before she forgets to.

 

 


    My dearest son,
         I want to visit Alaska. It is not a long way from here. In fact, I have been in communication with a mother from a tribe, we have become very good friends over emails by the help of her daughter.
        Spock, come visit for the winter. I expect I shall be leaving for Alaska on your return trip back to the States.
        It is very nice right now even if it gets colder every day. The fall is ending soon and winter is fast approaching. The National Geographic has offered me some work as well. Maybe if Alaska does not work out, then I will surely be going down to Costa Rica for a story.
        Also, Spock, I know we haven't had a chance to Skype one another but your father keeps asking if you're bringing someone home this time.
    Love you.


    Spock reads it when he gets home from work. At first, he puts it off and goes to drink some tea. Relationships and him, they don't work. It's never the person, it's just the committing. He stands in the kitchen for about 10 minutes drinking his tea because he knows what his mother is going to talk about in the email.


    He reads the first few lines and knows his mother is avoiding the topic. And then finally, he gets to the end and he almost groans out loud. Spock had always been a quiet person in Japan and even more quiet in comparison in the states. People here think it's cute, people in Japan thought he was just respectful. He doesn't answer. Not at first anyways, he gets up to make more tea and then watches the news. He's not interested in who died, who got robbed and who is in jail. He forgets about not being interested in any of that and is suddenly interested in order to get his mind off his mom's email.


    Spock goes to bed and wakes up in the morning to turn on the computer and see the email right there in his face when he signs in.


    This time, he groans out loud.
    
    His reply is something like, "Hi mom. Love you mom. There's no one mom. Sadly. I haven't had anyone in bed with me in a long time."
    Ok. It doesn't go like that. It goes something like,

 

 


    Mother.
        I am well. The fall is dry and warmer than usual. I'm enjoying it but I will far more enjoy the cold mountain air.
        As for bringing someone home, I will let you know.
    As always, I love you.
    Your son, Spock.

 


    "I will let you know." Spock thinks to himself stuck in morning traffic. He almost laughs in the car as Beyoncé comes on in the playlist Uhura made him. Uhura is actually his supervisor at the consulting firm he works at. He likes his job very much. Programming allows him to be creative in a technical way and he has the drive to be up at 3 am, coding until the sun comes up. Then he gets coffee and codes a little more. He feels a bit bad about being far more committed with his career than he ever has with a person.


    He likes his projects to be done and usually, he doesn't stay up at 3 am anymore because he hasn't had the luxury of doing a project he really likes. He used to freelance a lot in Japan, now he just... It pays the bills in a good way. He likes his job, he really does. It's been a while since he's seen someone and like coding, maybe he hasn't found the right person.


    He doesn't really like anyone at the moment so he mentally crosses the thought of trying as an easy task.


    What he really doesn't like as he puts Beyoncé way up in his Corolla (Uhura likes to point out that he just so happened to buy a Japanese car and Spock never answers), is when his mom asks on behalf of his father for if he was bringing someone home. He had some boyfriends, okay no, he's had like one girlfriend and one boyfriend and a few blowjobs, rimjobs creative people in his life.

    He swerves the car into the lane he wants to last minute, cutting off the person behind him because Beyoncé suddenly has put him in his feelings.


    Spock is now going through a midlife crisis. Amazing. He looks at the traffic, ignores the guy honking behind him and says to himself, "It's okay. You don't have to bring anyone home this time or next year or ever. You are comfortable."


    It doesn't make him feel better he said that in Japanese and not English.


    He isn't fully integrated into the American life.

    He buys a ticket to Tokyo Haneda Airport for early December from his family travel agent, Gaila Mendoza. The petite but loud Colombian girl doesn't bring up if Spock had found someone. Sometimes, Gaila had the best intuition. Gaila's grandmother was the neighborhood bruja so maybe she had something in her genes that her grandmother gave her. She says goodbye and Spock takes up Uhura's offer of drinking.



    Spock likes LAX airport a lot. It's a busy airport but it's somehow comforting. It's one of the only airports that he genuinely likes and it's not that chaotic huge like the Dallas one. It has its own zip code and Spock had to take a small train to get to his terminal. It's not small like the Fort Lauderdale airport in Florida or the Ronald Reagan airport in D.C. Still, he likes it all the same.


    He's about an hour early to his flight and decides to walk to his concourse when someone bumps into him. Spock drops his large (and ridiculously overpriced) water bottle. His luggage falls on the side and the person's duffel falls to the side just as hard, forcing them to go over with it. Spock, in a last minute effort, grabs onto the person's wrist to stop them from falling and hears the soft laugh.


    "Spock." Says the really familiar voice. Their legs are twisted and the stranger's body is dipped down, one hand on the floor to keep him from face-planting onto the ground but also half elevated by Spock's strength. It looks like they're playing twister from the standpoint of a stranger. Spock looks down at Jim and keeps staring like Jim is a flying monkey, a gorgeous flying monkey that is the prime example of how Americans could be extremely good looking.


    "Spock," He sounds so amuse and Spock helps him up. "James."


    "Jim." He corrects and smiles at Spock. Jim is a well known photographer and a dear friend of Amanda's. Jim is undeniably American with his blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, plus a smile that Spock wants to wipe off. Spock remembers him very well from when they had met a few years ago. Jim was younger, by a year or so and even then, Jim had an impressive amount of wonderful photographic shots. His father was a zoologist and geologist that worked for many different companies. Somehow, his father met Spock's mother. Fate graced them both to meet when Spock was just 17 and Jim had been 15.

 

    Jim grew up. Spock was still taller by a bit. He was taller than most in Japan too. It was his Mother's genes that had gave him the extra boost to be tall, even taller than the blonde American in front of him. Still, Jim had grown up and it was very evident that he did not disappoint. His development, as it went, had not gone unnoticed from Spock and was not even a disappointment in any way. Except maybe if he was straight.

 

    Then Spock was screwed in ways he didn't want to be screwed.


    "Jim." He says, picking up Jim's duffel who thanks him whole heatedly.


    "Going home for Christmas?" He asks. It's small talk. Nothing major. Spock nods as Jim turns his luggage back up. Spock says thank you in Japanese, something he does when he's a tad timid and corrects himself by saying thank you in English. Jim just laughs and says you're welcome right back in Japanese.


    "And you?"


    "Ah, well, if you could believe it, my flight just got cancelled. I was going to go to Canada but there's a blizzard and I'm probably going to go home now or find somewhere else to go honestly."


    "Oh." Spock says smartly and Jim makes a movement to walk away before Spock blurts, "Would you like to come to Japan with me?"


    "Huh?"


    Spock clears his throat and says, "Would you like to come to Japan with me? My mother Amanda and my father, she's they're expecting me to bring someone."


    "Like a friend."


    "No... No, not a friend." Spock has to confess. He feels the soft caress of heat creeping up his neck. "My father, he is hoping I... 'settle down' with someone. I- Forget-"

 

     "Like an engagement? What, like his dying wish is for you to be engaged?" Jim huffed out a laugh. For a moment, Jim looked like he was contemplating something.


    Spock was about to say to 'forget it' again when Jim completely speaks over his attempt and says, "Fuck it, yeah. I'll go to Japan with you, why not. Let's get married."

 

    "Wha-"


    "Or like, we could go on a date in Japan. I've always liked guys but you can speak everything for me and I don't know, I can say nasty English to you. My Japanese is limited so I hope you're not a virgin."


    "I am... not."


    Jim just laughs really hard right there in the middle of the fucking airport and Spock is about to ask him if he's serious until Jim grabs him by the hand and they walk to the nearest desk so he could purchase a ticket.


    The only available seats are first class and Jim is so ecstatic that he buys both him and (upgrades) Spock to first class.

 


 


    Spock wonders if this is a bad idea all until the plane has taken off and Jim randomly kisses him when the lights are shut off for people to go to bed.


    For a long while, Spock doesn't get a chance to think.

Chapter Text

    In retrospect, Spock should not have allowed Nyota to add his mother as a friend on Facebook because he wouldn't get himself into half of the predicaments he finds himself in.


    It seemed that now his mother knows more about what he's doing than himself.


    Last week, Spock was at a club he didn't know the name of. He got three missed calls, two texts that talked about the dangers of drunk driving and a Facebook message detailing him to be safe, wear a sweater and to not catch a cold by the end of the night. Oh, not to mention the dozen of questions of if he met someone.


    Spock should look at him phone more often, that was the moral of the story.


    He keeps asking Nyota to not tag him on her social media but she so refuses to do so or says she forgets and that there's nothing she could do to edit it (Spock found out just last week you can edit your posts on Facebook!).


    Nyota, the she-devil she is, continues on her 'innocent' rampage by knowing Leonard McCoy and the package that comes with him. Spock is tagged on a status when he's making dinner one night and sees the thread of comments. There's a blonde-brunette (Spock can't see the details very well and he refuses to click on the profile picture) commenting stupid and Spock ignores it by clicking on their name only to see they have a lot of mutual friends with Spock. How? He doesn't know. He keeps very much to himself and his own small circle of friends. He double taps his home button to close the app and goes back to cooking dinner.


    And of course, Gaila, who is friends with Leonard's friends invites them over at the next social gathering.

 


    Spock has to admit that the stupid blonde (he finally decides he is a dirty blonde) is very good looking. He's a bit shorter then Spock himself and has incredible blue eyes that remind him of the sky. Then, said friend gets extremely drunk, tries to talk to by screaming at Spock, throws up in front of Spock and grinds on everyone on the dance floor.


    Not in that order.


    Spock finds his name is James Kirk or Jim as he kept saying loudly and very much piss drunk at him. Spock finds himself not attracted at all and goes home early with only one margarita in him.


    Jim later bumps into him exiting Starbucks, recalls him as the cute Asian from the other night and apologizes about 10 times before Spock has to say there's nothing to apologize for. The day gets better when Jim buys him a cranberry-orange scone with a venti hazelnut Blonde Roast.


    Spock might as well marry him now if this is how Jim Kirk apologizes to people. They part on equally happy terms and hopes Jim Kirk gets drunk off his ass more often when they're at the same social gathering.

 

 


    Jim and Spock meet about 2 more times at the same Starbucks and Spock keeps getting free food.

 

 


    Jim Kirk just likes to get pissed drunk a lot, Spock notices. This is the second party he's been at with Jim Kirk present. Luckily, Gaila is not hosting the party so she's not even worried about Jim Kirk throwing up in her apartment. Spock finds her as soon as he enters the apartment and she's says something that sounds like 'thank god it's not my house' but she could have easily said 'thank god it's not butter' at the same time.


    Gaila says some weird stuff sometimes.


    Spock could only gave her a weak smile, the kind that you don't show off your teeth and walks into the kitchen with the hopes of jello shots.


    Lo' and behold, jello shots are lined up and they're huge. Spock almost groans in happiness because he knows Nyota made them and her jello shots are legendary. He grabs one, two and then three. He's a bit buzzed, barely feeling it when Nyota comes in, kisses his cheek and says, "it's Leo's place."


    "Leo's?"


    "Leonard. Leonard McCoy? The guy whose friend threw up in front of you?"


    "Oh. Wait, he threw up in front of me?" Spock asks innocently, hiding his face away from her by taking another jello shoot. Spock remembers chunks being spewed out in front of him but wants to erase it from his mind. Then, suddenly, he goes for the fifth shot when she takes it from him. She's hissing at him in some language, he's not really paying attention before he says, "He bought me a venti coffee."


    "Who? Leo?"


    "No. James Kirk?" He says, sounding unsure of himself. Nyota can only smile at him with the look of 'o la la'. "How many times did he buy you a 'coff-" Gaila interrupts the question loudly with the announcement of more booze! Spock doesn't know how his friends still drink like they're still freshmen in college but it's been almost two months since their last gathering so he knows half of them are carving a fix.


    Gaila is wearing something tight and in two pieces, showing off her stomach. She presses a strawberry scented kiss right on Spock's cheek like she hadn't just seen him earlier, except she misses and gives it right on his lips.
    "How drunk are you?" Spock has to ask. Gaila just laughs.


    The night is starts off mellow, especially since Leonard McCoy is kind of a hard ass. He keeps his distance from the doctor-in-training and the apartment is filled with people he doesn't know. As the hours begin to pile on, the place gets rowdy.


    Spock is very happy about one thing. Whoever is supplying his drinks (the drinks just magically appear in his hands and it's rude to turn down what someone puts effort in making), they're making it sweet. He's had something citrus earlier on and now something very chocolately in his hands. He's not complaining really except he wants to get home without falling on his ass.


    He makes his way into the kitchen, putting the drink next to the sink and washing his hands. He's drying them when he turns to hear a crowd of people cheering.


    There, on the floor, kneeling with one knee propped up is Jim Kirk. He looks very much drunk, worse than Spock is right now. Spock just stares at him, unaware of what's going on.


    His brain doesn't connect two and two so he's quiet. Jim, looking like he's got a lemon in his mouth because he's trying so hard not to laugh, has a black box in his hand.


    "Spock-" he wheezed out, coughing out a small laugh but then suddenly becomes serious. "Spock, ever since I saw you walk out of the Starbucks two months ago, I've been crazy."


    "Oh my God," Spock says out of no where. Spock doesn't even believe in God, he's not even Christian and yet he repeats, "Oh my God."


    "Spock, pleeaasssee," Jim slurs and gives him a crooked smile. Spock's mouth gets dry very quickly. "Spock, pleeeaase, would you pleeeease marry me?"


    People are yelling, Spock is so dazed and confused that he coughs out a weak 'what'. Someone yells for him to answer after he did and says a louder, stronger, "Yes!" that makes Jim Kirk surge up to kiss Spock.


    Spock hates kissing people drunk, it's so awkward. Jim Kirk and him kiss awkwardly for a moment before they find the right position.


    Spock is pleased to know that Jim Kirk makes kissing drunk worth it.
     

 

 


    In the morning, he groans against a warm body that quickly sits up, runs around the room as Spock is starfish on the bed. He's not bothered for about 15 minutes before someone yells at the top of their lungs, drops something, shouts in pain and then comes crashing into the room.


     Crashing onto Spock's body to be exact. Spock does not have the energy so he slowly opens his eyes. "Good morning," Jim Kirk says. His breath is minty fresh and he's very wet, his damp hair dropping droplets on his face. Spock doesn't have a shirt on and it doesn't stop him from twisting so Jim lays next to him instead of on top of him. He promptly ignores the blonde to go to the bathroom. He steals a toothbrush from under the sink of his not-apartment, brushes his teeth and comes back into the room, crashing onto the bed face down and stays there.


    Jim has to be the one to move him over. Spock is hungover and he looks straight at Jim's eyes in annoyance. "So... I think the Starbucks from like two months ago was a dowry, honestly."


    It takes Spock 2 minutes to ask, "What?" And sits up on the bed. He's not in his room. His room is an off-white color with simple furniture and at least one mug that used to have tea somewhere in the room and his laptop; nothing more. Instead, he's sitting in a messy room that barely has furniture and the biggest bed that guaranteed them the best sleep ever last night.

    If they were sleeping. Spock is in his boxers right now and Jim is half dressed, looking like he just came out of a shower. His nose wrinkles in confusion and Jim laughs gently. "You made that face in the video,"


    "What. Video?" Spock asks, sounding very angry. He turns and Jim kisses him silly. Spock lets himself to get swept into the kiss before asking the same question.


    Jim grabs Spock's hand and shows him the engagement ring. He stares at it for a moment before flying off the bed, looking for his iPhone.


    It's dead. "Do you have a charger?"


    "Uh, yeah, hold on."


    "Or a computer. No. Both."



    Jim disappears into the apartment and brings back a charger and a laptop. He lets Spock go wild and disappears again.
    Spock vaguely hears a door open and close. He ignores it and goes on his Facebook.


    He has about 67 notifications, 8 messages, and 12 friend requests, and his phone vibrates alive next to his thigh. He realizes he's been staring at the screen for a few minutes. He looks at his phone and sees 82 text messages, 53 calls and 40 voice mails along side his 67 Facebook notifications, 8 Facebook messenger notifications and about 20 SnapChat notifications.
    The first thing he does is go to Nyota's account. It's the first post on her timeline and he stares it.


    It's a video with 257 likes, 74 shares and an even more alarming number of comments. He closes his eyes and presses play.
    Jim is laughing in a room, coming out and bumping into the camera. He says, "Shit, sorry man." and goes down the hall.

There in his hand is the box. The camera man says, "let's see it, man." and Jim shows off the beautiful engagement ring that's currently on Spock's ring finger. He takes a glance at it and looks away to the screen. They walk down to living room of the apartment and Spock catches himself in the corner escaping into the kitchen. People see him holding the black box and already begin to gather. McCoy says something to Jim, he can't really hear it and Jim replies with, "Bones, it's the perfect time!"


    Nyota comes on the screen, laughing as they give her the camera. She follows Jim into the kitchen where poor Spock is drying his hands while Jim gets on his one knee. He turns, looking dumb and either super drunk or happy when he spots Jim and says 'what'.


    People screen, Jim says his lines, Spock replies with his own and they get up and kiss.


    Spock doesn't think of taking off the ring. He grabs his phone and unlocks it. He looks at his SnapChat and screenshots every snap sent to him except for the videos. He's in a few people's stories and accepts all the new friend requests.


    He has to agree some of the photos are cute and goes off to his voice mails. Half of the calls are from his own mother who is talking about who Jim is, where is he, why won't he answer his calls. Others are from people congratulating him or asking where he is or something relevant to his apparent engagement. He checks his text messages which is all from a group iMessage and he only opens the thread to get rid of the notifications. Spock accepts all the new friend requests he has on Facebook.


    Spock knows this is a bad joke gone wrong so he's riding it out as best as he can.


    A door opens in the distance and Spock removes himself from the bedroom. Only in his boxers, he walks down the hall and into the kitchen. Jim, who is now somewhat dry and wearing clothes, has an iced coffee in his hand in a size Spock doesn't even know is real and a large brown bag in his other.


    "So I went down to Starbucks, Uhura told me you like Starbucks a lot."


    Spock takes it gingerly for a moment before staring at Jim.


    "Thank you... I believe we are engaged?"


    "Yeah, I think so too."


    "Are you..."


    "What? Gay?" Jim laughs and it makes Spock's stomach flutter. "Yeah, I mean, I like everyone in a sense. I don't really... discriminate?"


    "Oh."


    "Also, your mom got my phone number."


    "Oh."


    Jim kisses Spock again. "She wants to meet me over dinner."


    "She has a weak heart, I can't tell her."


    "Tell her what?" Jim has to say, giving Spock the egg salad sandwich wrapped in cellophane to him. It's not the one from Starbucks but from his favorite sandwich shop, the mom and pop one near his job. "Uhura also told me about the sandwich place."


    Spock doesn't say anything except give Jim a kiss back.


    "I'll meet your mom." Jim says after a while. They both are kind of flushed against one another, smile on Jim's stupid face. Spock and his mind agree that Jim's face is very stupid and that this whole mess is stupid.


    "Is this your way of apologizing?" Spock has to ask as he unwraps his sandwich.


    "No," Jim says as he watches Spock's eyes roll back in sweet bliss when he takes a bite in. 'No, this is my way of saying I don't regret asking you to marry me.' Jim wants to say. He doesn't though and lets Spock devour his food in peace.


 


    "She has a weak heart, I can not do this to her. I do not know how to tell her." Spock has to tell Jim. They're stuck in traffic on a Friday afternoon afternoon. It's already a week after the whole engagement thing. Their video goes popular for the weekend and then dies down on Monday thankfully. Nyota does not erase it nor has she been in contact with Spock because Spock hasn't talked to her at all. He doesn't want to speak to her and she doesn't try to push his buttons.


    Jim looks over at Spock. "I haven't... didn't tell my own mom. She's seen the video, sent me a congratulations and told me to tell her when I'm bringing you to Iowa. Our... relationship is really weird, you know?"


    Spock thinks it's weird how suddenly they can both trust each other with their extra baggage. Spock has to just nod though, he knows how it is to have a strain relationship with a family member. Him and his father were close but the relationship... it's weird. Spock looks forward at the never ending traffic of LA.


    Spock had some work-related business down here and Jim just followed along. Of course since they were fiancés, they had to support one another. Spock wasn't sure how he forgave Jim and Jim wasn't sure either. Except that well, Jim kept spoiling Spock and Spock took it.


    He had to let his mother know and possibly let her die of a heart attack or maybe just cry or die of a heart attack, come back to only die from a heart attack again. He's been anxious ever since the revelation that he has to tell his mother it was all one big joke.


    The joke is going out of control. His mom keeps pushing for a dinner date, Jim's mom keeps moving for a dinner date too. They don't bring up letting both moms meet and find a dinner date between the both, they agree that it's like letting War World III happen. And he's learning little quirks of Jim like the side of the bed he likes to sleep on, the way his voice sounds when he's half asleep and late for work, and what he likes from Spock's favorite sandwich place.


    Bones, or known as Leonard McCoy or Leo to Nyota, stopped giving Jim wake up calls 'cause he said Jim's drunk choices are "out of fuckin' control, you need to learn how to respect people!". So Jim spent 40 minutes of coaxing to try to get Spock to call him every morning prior to 9 am so Jim can get to work.


    Jim is an astronautical engineer for the Air Force, enlisting in the midst of college. Spock isn't sure his rank but he's commissioned by SpaceX to work for them. He enjoys it greatly which reminds Spock of himself and sometimes describes the failures of rockets sometimes to him. Sometimes Jim makes Spock laugh.


    But being in the Air Force for some time has made Jim spoil himself by himself and refuses to wake up early for a job he really likes.


    It's a big con Spock holds against Jim.


 


    Nyota finally talks to Spock two weeks after the video goes up on her Facebook. First, she apologizes and then, she offers to tell Spock's mom for him.


    Spock hugs her and declines her offer kindly. They sit for tea while Jim is gone at work. Spock hasn't been home in a while since Nyota and him share an apartment and Jim's bed is very comfortable (this is the only reason Spock stays over Jim's place, no really).


    Spock feels like he's a step behind Nyota when she keeps talking about his mom and her gushing about the engagement. She comments on something like, "She'll love him" before Spock snaps and says, "What are you talking about?"


    "Your mom? Coming down for dinner tomorrow?"


    Spock internally freaks out as Nyota begins rambling, apologizing, crying all at once and proceeds to externally freak out by excusing himself to the bathroom and calling Jim.


    Someone is rattling off numbers and he can hear Jim agreeing to it. "Kirk and this better be good whoever is calling me."


    "Jim."


    "Oh, Spock! Sorry, I've had a busy morning with my phone-"


    "Jim, my mother is coming for dinner tomorrow."


    "What?"


    "It was suppose to be a surprise."


    Jim is quiet at first and then laughs. "Nice joke."


    "Not a joke." They go quiet. Spock clears his throat.


    "Sorry, repeat that?"


    "Not a joke."


    "Spock, you said it in Japanese the first time, not English."


    Spock begins to curse in Japanese at a speed he didn't know he had. He's saying the nastiest things as Jim excuses himself and seems to have walked out to somewhere more quiet (like the hall) because there's a lack of white-noise chatter.


    "I need to learn Japanese so I can have you talk dirty to me."


    Spock chokes mid-curse. Jim laughs. Spock always seems to make Jim laugh but Jim always tries to make Spock laugh the most though. "Surprise dinner," Spock says finally in English. It sounds weird in a thick accent Jim didn't even know Spock had. He assumes Spock probably switches language when he has sex and the orgasm is mind-blowing. Maybe the after sex glow is in a thick Japanese accent.


    Jim should not have a boner in the midst of his job. He awkwardly rushes to the bathroom and into a stall. Spock listens to Jim's frantic rush and suddenly asks, "Do you have to go pee at a time like this?"


    Jim laughs so hard, he snorts and Spock has to sit on the edge of the tub, red faced to keep himself breathing in and out slowly. Sometimes he is overwhelmed by the rush that Jim Kirk is and the feelings that Jim kirk brings him. He looks down at his shoes, the new boots Jim bought him out of no where and says, "I can not do it."


    "Let's not then."


    "What?"


    "Let's not do it. I mean, you said you can't do it. I won't do it, not without you."


    Spock is quiet for some time. Jim can hear Spock thinking but doesn't comment. His coworker comes into the bathroom to ask for Jim and Jim kind of shuffles out of the stall to mouth, "my fiancé" and the Russian boy, Chekov, smiles and disappears back into the hall.


    "My coworker just came in to find me and I called you my fiancé. I think we don't have to."


    "We have to."


    "We could get married."


    "James, we can not-"


     "By Batman, don't you like that actor? Christian Bale? I'm sure Batman can officiate our marriage."


    "My mother would kill me."


    "We can invite her."


    "My father would kill me."


    Jim chuckles, the low kind of chuckle that makes Spock turn to puddle. "My dad's probably rolling in his grave."


    "My father is most likely digging his."


    They go quiet for a while and then Jim says, "Let's go to dinner."

 


    Spock walks out red face and Nyota has a smile between "I'm really sorry" and "Did you have phone sex in the bathroom?" Spock sits down and says, "We're going to dinner."


 


    Amanda Grayson is not what Jim expected. Well, she's petite and has smile wrinkles like a mom should. She's got her gaze on him and he's got her gaze on her, putting that military serious face on. She looks at him squarely in the face and Jim gives her the best smile he can. "Nice to meet you, Amanda, I'm James Kirk. Jim."


    Amanda is so happy she gives him the biggest hug a petite woman could give. Which is a big huge, Jim is very much confused but also full of approval. He lets her in his apartment which has been cleaned by some friends of Gaila. They make his house look better than ever, even better than when he first got the damn place. Bones gave him some cornbread, Gaila some wine, and Nyota handed some desserts in the morning to Spock.


    There's flowers from his coworkers who somehow heard about it. They're sweet, Jim is sure it was probably Chekov and Sulu's, his two coworkers, idea. Spock didn't know what to make so Jim made some fancy chicken parmigiana that he learned from sneaking into a restaurant late night.


    Amanda is far more than pleased and excuses her husband for not being here due to work. Jim says it's okay and Spock is more than quiet half way through it. "Mother, Jim and I are not... We aren't... The ring... The ring doesn't mean... I was drunk."


    Jim excuses himself and Spock, who is taken by surprise and he leads him to Jim's room. It's more like really fast walking, trying not to trip as they run away from Amanda's sudden confusion marked by the wrinkle of the nose both she and Spock do.
    "What are you doing?!"


    "I can't tell her."


    "I told you-"


    "I can't-"


    Jim kisses him. The soft pop kiss kind that they reserve for goodbyes. It's weird that they kiss even though they're not together, Spock thinks.


    Jim makes a face like Spock said that out loud.


    He probably did.


    Christ. Spock offers a meek smile and says, "I like our kisses."


    "I want to get married."


    It takes Spock this far in the game to realize Jim is serious. All he says is "oh" and Jim laughs so loudly that Amanda has to cover her face of pure joy when they come back. She doesn't know what Spock was going to say but she assumes by Spock's timid but happy demeanor that all is well.

 

 

 

 



    Spock tells his mother literally minutes before he's due to walk down the alter. Amanda looks like she's about to either laugh or pass out before Spock kisses her cheek and says, "Just walk me down."