It was weird. But at the same time, very nice.
It was after nighttime, a little after midnight. Nagito Komaeda left his room after spending a few hours tossing and turning in bed, his own thoughts keeping him awake longer than he wanted to.
You are alone. No one likes you. You only serve to be a tool for the symbols of hope. You shouldn't be here.
Phrases like that were already common around the white haired boy's head. It wasn't as if self-depreciation was something that hurt him, or made him sad, it was quite the opposite. He believed he only had one purpose: to be degraded and treated like the trash he always was.
Wanting to put an end to his existential crises, Nagito walks around the halls of the Funhouse that Monokuma created. It wasn't exactly fun staying in that house, but what could he do about it. His cold hands met his coat pockets, hunger making him weaker to walk or think straight. It wasn't like he'd ever thought straight before, but still.
As he walked slowly so as not to use up the last of his remaining energy, he came across the Funhouse playground. The park contained flower corners, two swings and a slide. Suddenly, a desire crossed his mind. It was very childish, but he needed to satisfy the traumatized and ill child inside him.
Then, with no fuss or embarrassment, he heads over for the toys.
He tries his best to be quiet. But every now and then there were sounds of genuine laughter and silly smiles as he threw himself down the slide to the floor. Komaeda hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps. The smile on his face immediately disappeared. If they found out he was joking around, they would surely escort him out and get him out of there mercilessly.
There was no way, he would have to get out of there. However... he really wanted to know who it was that was coming his way. It couldn't be anyone from the Strawberry House, as no doors were opened. It could only be from the Grape Tower. Would it be one of the girls, or... Hajime Hinata.
He waited. Sitting on one of the swings, he waited calmly. Of course, the person would take time to get there, after all, they were probably starving. Perhaps the person would commit a murder. If it were for hope, he would definitely volunteer to be the victim! Oh, how happy it would be to be killed by one of Hope's Peak Academy's Ultimates. He couldn't be happier with that possibility, he'd even help the culprit, they could do everything to him-
Hajime Hinata. He was right. He couldn't really believe that Hinata would commit murder, but he wasn't disappointed. Nagito would gladly die at the hands of his precious Hinat-
- Komaeda, what are you doing here? - was the first thing Hajime said after seeing the boy hugging himself on the swing, his gaze lowered and his mouth open, leaving some drool. He looked in disgust. Of course he would look like that, after all, it was Nagito. Garbage like him should be really disgusting to have around.
- Ah... Hinata-kun... - He wiped the drool from his mouth and locked his gaze on the other boy's eyes. - I came outside... to have some time to think a little about everything, I guess. - Leaving a fake smile, he hoped the boy would leave soon.
- Thinking alone? - The brunette looked at him suspiciously. - Why?
- I don't know. All these events are filling my head, and I just needed a place to pretend to cease to exist, even if it's just for a few seconds. - The one with white and loose hair vents. - Oh! I'm sorry Hinata-kun, you don't deserve to see me here mumbling to myself, scum like me should keep quiet-
- Stop it, Komaeda. - Sighing loudly, Hajime walks towards the playground and sits next to Nagito on the swing. - I don't like to hear you talking bad about yourself like that.
The pale boy's eyes widened in surprise at the other's words.
- Do you care what I think about myself? Well, you shouldn't. A representative of hope like you should only care about yourself, not me.
Hajime stares Nagito in the eye for a few seconds, a serious expression on his face. He doesn't respond, preferring to sway a little rather than go to the trouble of getting into an argument with Nagito.
It's probably been a few minutes, but none of the boys noticed the time passing. The two swayed, silently, as if they were both afraid to start a conversation again. However, the brunette lost patience with the other silent boy. Even if it was to badmouth himself, he preferred to hear Nagito talking non-stop. It was nice to hear his voice.
- Komaeda. - Hajime caught his attention. - Can I be honest with you?
Nagito just nod, not being able to stop him.
- Ever since we arrived on this crazy island, I've had my eyes on you. In the beginning you were so kind, you helped me with the smallest things and I really considered you as a friend. We both know what happened... after the first trial, that's why I don't think that way anymore. - The brunette sighed, his hands gripping the ropes of the swing as he looked at the floor. - It's not like I hate you, Komaeda. But it's not like I understand you either. You talk about hope and despair and all that shit. I don't understand why you're so obsessed with these things, but that's okay. I still think you're kind, as I don't believe you're a bad person.
A silence of approximately 5 seconds reigned in the playground. Nagito was paralyzed, but paying attention to every word the brunette uttered.
- Anyway, maybe you already know where I want to go. I came to confess something. I don't think we have many days ahead of us as we are stuck in these buildings that Monokuma created. I'm so hungry. I'm tired too. Fuck, exhausted. It's not just hunger, I'm tired of investigating my friends' bodies, I'm tired of doing those stupid class trials, I'm tired of blaming my friends for murder. I don't know how you manage to maintain your posture in the face of all this. Maybe you suffer a lot inside, but you don't know how to show it. I did some research on your illness-
- What?! - was the first word Nagito spoke after Hajime started his supposed "confession".
- Don't get me wrong, Komaeda. I wanted to understand what made you talk and do so many absurd things, and maybe the disease was to blame for that. I won't go into details, you already know the symptoms.
Hajime looks back at the pale boy, who now has a worried face.
- I want you to know that you are not to blame for anything. You are not to blame for what happened to your parents, nor for the misfortunes that befell you. Komaeda, deep down, I feel sorry. Sorry for you. - The boy who spoke lowered his eyes again. - It's not fair! None of this is fair. It's all Monokuma's fault. - Tears started to fall in his pants. - I can't believe how much I like you. You're weird, don't get me wrong, but I still like to hear your voice. Even if it's calling you trash, scum or whatever. I like your hair, it looks cute. I like your smile, even if sometimes it seems to be distorted when you talk about hope.
Hajime panics. He can't believe he just said those words to Nagito Komaeda. He shouldn't know about this, it was his biggest secret. Putting together the despair of perhaps never escaping from the Funhouse and the possibility of everyone dying of starvation tomorrow, it couldn't be avoided. Part of him wanted to confess and the other didn't. Well, there's nothing else to do anymore. I should leave. This is embarrassing.
Threatening to get up, Nagito grabs his arm and stops him. He doesn't say anything, and just holds the brunette in his arms. It doesn't sound real. The guy he admired the most, that he was seriously in love with, had confessed. It looks like a dream. If it really was one, he'd rather not be woken up ever again.
- Hinata-kun... I don't deserve to hear such kind words. A useless person like me shouldn't have someone as good as you. After all, I'm still tra-
The white haired one was interrupted by the brunette's lips. It was a short, awkward kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. A kiss from the Ultimate ???.
They parted quickly, both red and embarrassed by what had just happened.
The two stared at each other for a few seconds. Nobody said anything. It was not needed. They knew that each other's feelings were reciprocated.
Hajime dared to put his hand around Nagito's neck as he approached for the second kiss of the night. This time, slower, full of love but with uncertainties. They closed their eyes and let them explore each other's mouths, Nagito a little braver finding his tongue with the brunette's. In a matter of seconds, the slow kiss turned into a longing and intense kiss, as if Hajime needed Komaeda's mouth in order to survive.
They separate after the make out session, gasping for air while breathing heavily.
Nagito smiles. - This is not how I expected the night to end.
Hajime sighs, chuckling. - Me neither.
- I understand what you mean, Hinata-kun. If you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen to, I'll always be here. I, Nagito Komaeda, will always be glad to talk to you at any time. So please be more confident in yourself. Do not worry about me.
- Be more confident... ha. You're one to talk.
- Hinata-kun - Nagito smiles as he speaks - you don't know how happy you made me. In fact, I was thinking about doing something tragic tonight. I wasn't just here to think for myself, you know.
Hajime immediately understands what the other meant. He couldn't believe it. Well, he kind of could. Nagito is quite the guy who would kill himself to save others, as long as it's for hope.
- You know, Komaeda... I don't think I'll be able to leave you alone tonight after this confession.
They face each other. They don't need to say any more. They seem to read each other's minds, because in the same second they both get up together to head towards the pale and thin boy's room. He opens the door, hoping the brunette is at least comfortable.
They didn't say anything else that night. In each other's presence, they could only hear their hearts beating fast. They decided to lie down together, Nagito resting his head on Hajime's chest involuntarily, as if he was born to lie next to his beloved.
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. About to fall asleep, he hears a low "Thank you". He would deal with everything that happened in the morning, because right now, all that mattered was that he was hugging the boy he is in love.