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Billy sadly sits on his bed.

Billy: Boy, It sure is hard being the new kid in town, especially when you’re a geek like me. Man, if only I had a friend I’m sure things wouldn’t be so tough...

He hears a noise.

He looks to see something scuttle behind the cabinet.

Billy: Hey, who’s there?

He looks behind to cabinet to see some kind of furry critter.

Billy: Hey, what are you?

Trapdog: Hola! I am Trapdog jajajajaja!

Billy: Wow, I bet you have magic powers! Will you be my friend and make me popular?

Trapdog (modding affirmatively): Ja, jaja.

Billy: Boy, I have a feeling tomorrow’s going to be a very interesting schoolday...



Billy sits at his seat.

Ms. Hateschildren, a spiteful old harpy, stands in front.

Ms. Hateschildren: Good morning class. Today we will be learning the Pythagorean theorem. I won’t make any promises but I think I can dumb it down enough even for you, Billy.

The rest of the class laughs.

As class starts, Billy unzips his backpack to reveal Trapdog inside.

Billy: Boy Trapdog, little does she know she’s going to be the one getting a lesson today, huh?

Trapdog: Jaja.

Ms. Hateschildren is writing on the board.

Trapdog: Bitch make me a sandwich!

She turns around shocked.

Ms. Hateschildren: Who said that!?

When there’s no response, she goes back to writing on the board.

Billy: Uh Trapdog I was thinking more along the lines of you make her desk levitate or something.

Trapdog: Jaja I understand.

Trapdog closes his eyes and concentrates.

Trapdog: Bitch get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

Ms. Hateschildren: No that is to stop at once! I do not tolerate being spoken to like that, not since...not since..oh no, I’m having a flashback...oh, no Dominic, don’t yell anymore, I’ll get your sandwich, please I’ll get it just leave me...

Ms. Hateschildren slides to the floor crying, the whole class looking uncomfortable.

Billy sinks into his chair while Trapdog claps and laughs.



Billy paces the room anxiously.

Billy: Okay, Sally will be here any moment. Remember, tell her how cool I am.

Trapdog: Jaja.

Sally walls in.

Sally: All right Billy I need to meet Diane at the mall in ten, what was so important that I needed to see?

Trapdog steps out.

Sally: Oh my God…

Billy: His name is Trapdog.

Sally: Wow...can he talk?

Billy: Can he? Tell her about your best friend, Trapdog.

Trapdog (bored): Ja, Billy is cool, he rides a skateboard and plays basketball and...and he is gay jajaja!

Billy: Trapdog!

Sally: Billy, is that true?

Billy: Uh, he’s just kidding, right Trapdog?

Trapdog: Jajaja you are a homo! Jajaja you want to kiss boys not girls!

Sally angrily heads for the door.

Billy: Wait Sally, it’s not true!

Sally: Maybe you think homophobia is funny, Billy, but I don’t!

She slams the door shut. Billy looks over to Trapdog, who is pointing and laughing at him.



Trapdog is playing Super Nintendo, when Billy comes in in a panic.

Billy: Trapdog! Mr. Nardballs kidnapped my mom and Sally, and he won’t release them unless I turn you over to him! Oh what are we going to do?

Trapdog: Shut up bitch I’m gaming.