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Glimpse of us

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Oh Kinn! You’re home early today!

Kinn entered their bedroom to be met by his lover laying on the bed whose smile beamed brightly as he saw him. Kinn came home after a busy day, his black suit was drenched by the rain. He could’ve brought an umbrella, but he didn’t quite bother to bring one today. He took off his coat and shoes as he let himself to be sat down at the edge of the side of the bed. He took a long breathe in and out, he felt his body about to give up right now from all the tiredness and stress he had been feeling from the past few days.

Is everything okay Kinn?

Kinn looks behind him as he saw Porsche gave him a worried look. He simply nods his head as he gave the younger man a small smile to let him know to not worry about it. Porsche knew he was lying, of course his Porsche knew it. He saw Porsche moves a little closer to him as he sits on his knees and reaches his arms out to rest on Kinn’s shoulder. Kinn felt a warmth body pressed against his back as the younger man gave a small kiss on his head.

Feel better now?

Kinn didn’t respond, except he let his body respond as he presses his back even closer to the younger man’s body who’s caging him with his arms wrapped around Kinn’s shoulder. Kinn let his eyes rest, enjoying the warmth he felt while it lasts. Porsche took that as a yes.

Kinn was about to shift his position to lay down comfortably on the bed with Porsche planning to be in his arms, but he felt something moved and shuffle under the bed as his foot accidentally kicked it. He lowered his head down as he took a glance under the bed to only saw a red box, he reaches his left arm out as he tries to grab it. Once he was able to grab it, Kinn sat down again on the bed comfortably with the box on his hand. He saw his lover took a glance of it and was confused of not knowing what it is for or what’s inside the box.

Kinn carefully opened the box and saw a bunch of stuff that reminds the moments of his and Porsche’s dates. Inside of it was a few polaroid pictures, a handmade bracelet, a sketch drawing of Kinn, and another small blue box.

Ohoo~ I didn’t know you were sappy enough to own these kinds of things Kinn.

Kinn playfully rolled his eyes as he was being teased by the younger man. He went to reach for the polaroid pictures, he took his time mesmerizing every detail of it. He noticed all of it were taken by his wonderful Porsche. Kinn wasn’t really a photogenic person, but he’s willing to pose every time Porsche asked him to look at the camera. Porsche felt happy every time he follows his simple orders, so Kinn felt happy as well.

Kinn look! It’s our first date, I really thought it was a disaster.

He saw Porsche points out the first polaroid picture Kinn was holding right now. In the picture shows that Kinn’s left arm had it wrapped around the younger man’s waist while Porsche was attempting to do a selfie. Kinn then gave a surprise kiss on Porsche’s cheek. Porsche’s reaction was priceless and cute that was perfectly caught on the camera.

Kinn wanted to go back in time just to experience it all again, he felt he was a normal person and free. Both him and Porsche thought they were a bunch of clueless teenagers who are just in love with each other dearly. Kinn felt thankful that the younger man came into his life and had brought colors to his black and white world, anyone would be dumb enough to let go such a rare opportunity.

Kinn smiled and took a final glance to each of the polaroid pictures as he puts it all back again into the box. He then reached next for the sketch paper, it was drawn by his Porsche. Pete had mentioned one time that Porsche “knew” how to draw, so Kinn had asks the younger man to draw him when they are enjoying their date in a coffee shop.

Okay look! In my defense, Pete didn’t mention I was professional at it- he shouldn’t even have mentioned about that!

Kinn couldn’t help but laugh at the memory and just ignored his lover who was pouting at him, he remembered the memory all too well. He remembered Porsche being attentive looking at his face then back at the paper, Porsche took his time to draw and not miss any of the details of Kinn’s face. Once the younger man revealed his work, Kinn can’t help but think that a kid can even out stand him in arts. Yet he still appreciates the efforts. He once wanted to have the work on a picture frame and have it hanged around the center of their bedroom wall, but he was stopped by Porsche. Kinn clearly did not want to sleep outside their bedroom on the couch alone if he did not wish to go along with his Porsche’s demands.

If you think my work is stupid, then why keep this one then hm?

He heard Porsche scoffed and points out at the handmade bracelet. Porsche made the bracelet when they were forced to go at an arts center Ché really wanted to be at. It was supposed to be a date only for Kim and Ché, but Porsche still hadn’t trust Kinn’s asshole youngest brother after breaking Ché’s heart one time. Kinn had decided to come along as well, he didn’t want his youngest brother to be back at home to be only left into small pieces of his body.

Porsche had made the bracelet and told Kinn that it was specifically made for him. Kinn at first would tease the younger man for making a childish bracelet, but he really loved it and sometimes wears it when he’s leaving the mansion without his lover. He always needs the presence of Porsche.

He simply rolls his eyes as he wears the handmade bracelet. He then shows off proudly wearing the bracelet to Porsche’s face meaning that it wasn’t stupid, and he was proud for his boyfriend’s work. Porsche just giggles and playfully hits Kinn’s shoulder. Kinn wanted to attack the younger man back as he tries to grab the pillow near him.

Ai’ Kinn- stop don’t you dare...sorry naaa~

Porsche pleads his eyes attempting to let Kinn have mercy on him. Kinn laughs at his boyfriend’s attempt. Porsche acting cute to get away something does not really work for him, Kinn thought.

Let’s just move on to find more stuff that reminds of our dates alright, darling? ~  

Or so Kinn thought maybe Porsche can get away with acting cute in front of him.

How about...that one!

Kinn put his attention back to the box as he saw Porsche points out something. Kinn felt silence when he saw what his boyfriend was pointing out. It was a small blue box. He carefully grabs it, but he was not daring to open it any sooner. 

What’s that supposed to be for Kinn? Is it important?

He saw Porsche’s patience not lasting any longer now as the younger man kept asking what’s the blue box for. Kinn felt immediately numb as his feet was starting to get cold. He then carefully opens the blue box to only show an object that is somehow glowing and shining even with no light point out whatsoever to it.

It was a diamond ring. But not just any diamond ring, it was an engagement ring.

Oh wow...that- that looks so amazing Kinn...

Kinn didn’t know what to say as his hands were starting to tremble, not being able to hold the small blue box any longer. He felt something stuck into his throat.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be able to wear it...It would’ve look so good on me.

Of course, it would. Kinn thought. Everything had already been planned. Everything was perfect. Well...almost perfect.

Kinn had booked a fancy place for him and Porsche’s 3rd year anniversary that day. He had decided to wear a dark jade green suit that his boyfriend adores him when he’s in it. It was a really special day, it was the day where Kinn decided to ask Porsche to marry him. Ché had helped him picked out the perfect ring while his brother Tankhun helped him decorate the venue where the proposal held at. Kinn had everything planned out perfectly, he just needs a yes from the love of his life.

But not everything has to have a happy ending, doesn’t it?

An uninvited guest came into the venue for blood and war. Everything turned into chaos. Others was screaming and crying as they run their way out to the exit for their life. Kinn yelled for Porsche’s name, as he saw the younger man hiding under the table who’s trying to avoid the gunshots. Kinn went run straight to him to protect Porsche, but Porsche saw the gun had aimed at Kinn as the stranger about to fire it’s shot.

Instead of Kinn being the one who’s about to get shot, Porsche took it for him. Kinn saw the love of his life fell into his arms, trying his best to stay awake for Kinn. Kinn doesn’t know what to do but only look at his Porsche who has a white shirt on before but now was painted with full red. He then cried and begged for the younger man to not leave him, he begged that he still needs Porsche. He still needs his Porsche. His Porsche had promised Kinn that he would never leave his side, but promises can’t always be kept true.

Remembering that day once again, Kinn can’t help but broke down. He felt tears forming out his eyes. The incident only happened a few weeks ago, Kinn visited Porsche’s grave today as it was the reason why he was drench by the rain. 

Thank you for visiting me today...but please, bring an umbrella when it is raining. I just- I don’t want you to get sick Kinn.

Kinn finally burst into tears once again as Porsche reaches his arms out to hug him.

P-Porsche- Kinn choked on his sobs as he tried to speak but failed.

Shh...I know Kinn. I’m sorry.

I- I could’ve been the one who died- Not you Porsche! Not you! Kinn yelled bursting into tears out even more. Kinn knew Porsche didn’t deserve it. He would gladly spend the rest of his life living in a karma, he would gladly take any punishments that will be given to him. But he knew as well that nothing will be equal with Porsche’s suffer, only but death can be equal to it.

Kinn. Kinn look at me please-

Porsche cupped Kinn’s face then tries to wipe off the older man’s uncontrollably tears. Kinn forces his attention as he tries to look at Porsche’s face.

It’s not your fault Kinn. It never was and never will be. The others still needs you Kinn. Your brothers, your friends, the business, and everyone still needs you. It’s not your time to die yet Kinn, not on my watch.

...But I still need you love. Kinn couldn’t help but begged, letting his face rests on the hands cupped around him. Kinn wanted to feel the warmth as long as he could have it.

Porsche suddenly kisses Kinn’s forehead, trying his best to comfort the older man.

Someday Kinn. In this life’s faith may not be with us right now, but I promise we’ll meet again soon and that time I’ll never leave by your side.

Kinn forces to keep his heads up focusing and trying his best to not cry any moment soon, he wanted to cherish the chance to see Porsche once again.

Free yourself. Don’t forever blame yourself for the incident, it was never your fault. Just promise me as well you’ll protect Ché. I know he already has Kim, but please promise me that you will never abandon my little brother’s side.

I promise love. Kinn said as he kisses the hands holding him dearly.

See you on the other side then, my Porsche? Kinn forces a smile, ignoring the tears that formed again while rolling down his cheek.

See you on the other side, my Kinn.  

Kinn let their foreheads rests to each other. He then closes his eyes. Kinn knows once he opens them, his Porsche will be gone. But right at this moment, he wants to cherish the warmth and presence of the love of his life while it lasts.

Wait for me na? ~ Kinn whispered with his last words for his Porsche. He felt the younger man nodded and smiled.

A few seconds later, Kinn felt light, numb, and cold. He opened his eyes and see that he is now left alone once again, left alone in the bedroom he used to share with his Porsche.

Kinn is alone but left with only the red box. A box that symbolizes every glimpse of his Porsche.


Glimpse of us...