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Around My Scars

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They were huddled together in the empty corridor leading to the Slytherin dorms, three of them standing behind James, talking in hushed voices. “Come on, Prongs, hurry up. We haven’t got all night,” Sirius egged him on.

James, who was crouching as he fiddled with a timing spell to put on the Dungbomb he had wedged into the armour stand they were standing around, shot Sirius a warning look. “You ordering me around certainly isn’t speeding up the process.” He beckoned Remus to step closer. “Moony, I need more light here.”

Remus angled his wand so the view into the crease of the metal trousers was clear. He was about to make a filthy joke about it that was sure to leave Sirius—supposed ‘bad boy’ of the group—blushing, when Peter said: “Guys, we need to leave! Filch is just around the corner.” He pointed at the map he was holding. Sirius looked where he was pointing, and his eyes widened in panic. James sped up his movements to get the spell ready as quickly as possible, but they had no time left. Mrs. Norris pattered around the corner, her lamp-like eyes fixed on the boys.

“Shit!,” Sirius cursed as he grabbed Remus’ wrist and pulled him along the corridor. Remus followed him on instinct, his willingness to get away from that cat easily outweighing his common sense. That creature freaked him out, and it seemed to have particular disliking for him.

The group dispersed and after a few minutes of blindly following Sirius’ lead, he found himself glancing over his shoulder to see that James and Peter were not running after them. Neither was Filch, so Remus thought it was a glass half full.

Sirius had led him up the stairs out of the dungeons, and he crossed the Entrance Hall to climb the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower. Remus was already panting after the first flight of stairs, his long legs being only a small help to his frail build.

It seemed Sirius also had his limits, despite his much fitter body. He slowed to a stop in the middle of a first-floor corridor, his chest heaving. His cheeks were dusted with a light pink blush, which Remus’ eyes lingered on for just a second. “Shit,” Sirius panted, repeating what he had said when he had started running. Remus smirked at the full-circle moment, but Sirius probably didn’t realise. “Where’s Filch?,” he asked.

Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, Peter had the map.” Sirius scrunched his nose in annoyance, rolling his eyes. It was quite adorable, actually. But then his eyes widened as he looked past Remus. Remus looked over his shoulder and saw the shadow around the corner growing steadily bigger. His gaze was pulled away as he was once again pulled along by Sirius’ hand on his wrist. He realised with a jolt that Sirius had never even let go.

They didn’t run very far this time. Sirius opened the first door he found, and pushed himself and Remus through it.

Maybe running had been the better option.

Sirius shut the door behind him as quickly and quietly as possible, leaving them to stand in the dark. He was standing very close to Remus, which Remus didn’t understand until Sirius cast another Lumos to take in their surroundings.

They were pushed together, standing inside the smallest broom closet imaginable, surrounded by buckets and mops and various other cleaning supplies. Sirius grinned up at him in, seeming to find this whole ordeal hilarious.

Remus was just about to say something, to tell him off for making Remus exercise of all things, but Sirius reached up to clamp his hand over Remus’ mouth, using his other hand to put his finger over his own mouth, indicating him to ‘shush’. In his rapid movements, Sirius had knocked his elbow into a mop, and Remus reflexively leaned in to push it back against the wall, inadvertently leaning closer to Sirius as well.

He didn’t move back immediately, because at that moment his ears perked up, and he heard the clip-clopping of heels just outside their broom closet. He stood there, towering over a grinning Sirius, his arm on the wall just beside his head, Sirius’ hand on Remus’ face, over his mouth, waiting for the sound to fade.

And then it did, and he stood there, towering over Sirius, his arm beside his head, Sirius touching his face. Remus looked into Sirius’ eyes, just inspecting the sparkle of humour that resided in it. Sirius was steadily looking back. After a few moments Remus spoke, but the words were muffled into Sirius’ hand.

Sirius seemed to be knocked out of some sort of trance, as if he had just realised he hadn’t moved his hand away from Remus’ mouth. He moved it away, but he didn’t pull back. He simply moved his hand over to his cheek, his fingers lightly going over his skin. It tickled a little, but Remus didn’t dare move.

He realised again how close they were standing to each other, crammed in this tight space, when Sirius let out a small breath and Remus felt the warm air on his chin. Remus breathed out too, his heart pounding in his chest. Probably still from the running.

Then he felt Sirius’ fingers move. It was just slightly at first, just little tremors, because Sirius was simply unable to keep any part of himself still for longer than a second. But then his movement began to seem more deliberate. His index finger moved further up his cheek, the other once following just a little later. Remus felt it tingling, hyperaware of every place the hand was touching his skin. He looked at Sirius’ eyes, but they were busy tracing the movements his fingers were making. His mouth was opened slightly, like he was in awe of what he was doing.

His finger met one of the bigger scars on Remus’ face—the first thing anyone locked onto when they first met Remus—and for a second Remus was scared that that was all Sirius wanted to look at; to inspect his biggest flaw up close, like some science experiment. But the fingers didn’t linger, they simply crossed over the scar tissue like it wasn’t of any importance. Like it wasn’t an issue. Remus couldn’t figure out what Sirius was doing. Looking into his eyes, Remus was fairly sure Sirius’ movements were deliberate, like he knew exactly where he wanted to move his fingers next. Remus just couldn’t imagine what he based his itinerary on. Why Sirius’ eyes darted across his face from point to point, seemingly awestruck. Until he realised.

Sirius was tracing his freckles.

He kept his movements at the same pace, his fingers blazing a trail across Remus’ blushing cheeks, connecting the little dots like his very own constellations. His thumb, resting on the corner of Remus’ mouth, still hadn’t moved, but Sirius’ fingers had nearly reached his nose, and his hand was positioned so that his thumb couldn’t help but follow, going along Remus’ upper lip.

It was then that Remus grasped the intimacy of Sirius’ actions. The sheer admiration radiating from the boy he was leaning into. Friends don’t do this, crossed through his mind, but Remus was already too far gone to care. He leaned into the touch just slightly, letting Sirius’ finger slide up the bridge of his nose, and letting out a breath that was caught by Sirius’ palm.

Remus reached up to cover Sirius’ hand with his own. He saw a flash of panic cross Sirius’ eyes, the fear of getting pushed away harshly, rejected after a reckless advance, so familiar and relatable to Remus himself. But Remus only gently moved Sirius’ hand back to rest on his jaw once again, his hand still covering the much smaller one underneath.

He hadn’t taken his eyes off Sirius’, and when they finally met again Remus was struck by the brilliant greys in his irises, bright and glowing in the wandlight. Sirius looked at him with the most vulnerable look on his face, all the unspoken truths laid out in his gaze.
He moved his head slightly forward, just a millimetre or so, and Remus felt his heart pounding in his throat. Even if it had been before, this was definitely not because of the running.

“Sirius,” he whispered, so quietly that, had they not been completely and utterly focused on one another, it would have gone unnoticed.

“I-“, his friend whispered, confused and awestruck. His head jerked forward slightly again, his eyebrows forming a tiny little frown, like Sirius hadn’t even realised he’d moved them, and his eyes were darting all over Remus’ face once again. Remus drunk the sight of him in as if he would never get to see it again. It was the most mesmerising thing he’d ever witnessed. “Can I—?”

Sirius never finished his question, but Remus nodded anyway, letting out a small “yeah” under his breath.

Sirius tilted his face up and moved closer in little jerks. His eyes kept going between Remus’ eyes and lips, his breaths coming out in little puffs. His nose bumped into Remus’ as he moved in, and Remus saw his eyes closing slowly just before he closed his own.

And then he felt it. Sirius’ lips on his, soft and plush and everything. It was everything Remus hadn’t realised he’d wanted. And, really, he’d wanted it so badly. The tingling feeling from Sirius’ touches felt oddly familiar from other moments, like a slap on his back, a knee bumping against his leg, a hand on his wrist. The butterflies erupting in his stomach also weren’t new, but they had never been this strong, this incredibly overwhelming in the best possible way.

The kiss was soft and sweet, gentle and so unsure at first. Remus sighed into it, bending the arm he had against the wall to lean into Sirius. That was when Sirius’ lips started moving, and Remus lost it.

Alarm bells were ringing in his head, his whole body felt like it was on fire, and it was amazing. He wanted to drown himself in these feeling and never resurface. He moved the hand he had placed on top of Sirius’ to cup his cheek, slowly snaking up into Sirius’ hair.

Sirius let out a soft mmm as Remus twirled the soft locks around his fingers. With every tiny noise or movement Sirius made, Remus got even more lost in it. He took a step forward, his whole underarm now resting against the wall, pushing Sirius into the rack of cleaning supplies.

Sirius giggled into his mouth a little as he bumped into it, being rewarded for that lovely sound with a little tug on his hair. He gasped and dropped his wand, the light shining from it dropping with it, making it so that it barely reached their faces.

Remus pulled back to check if Sirius was okay, but he could still see the twinkle in his eye and the shine of his teeth as he smiled and muttered: “Merlin, do that again.” Remus didn’t hesitate to fulfil Sirius’ wish.

Now that his hand wasn’t occupied with holding his wand, Sirius was free to put it to much better use. He started by putting it on Remus’ side, on top of the woolly sweater he was wearing. Then he began slowly sliding it backwards until it ended up resting at the small of his back. He moved it so that his fingertips slid just underneath the hem of his sweater. Now both of his hands were touching Remus’ skin, and Remus couldn’t help but let out a little nose of approval. It seemed Sirius wasn’t sure if he should move his hand upwards or downwards at this point, so he opted for pushing it forward, pulling Remus impossibly closer.

Their lips were moving at a steady pace, and Remus took immense pleasure in pulling these little sounds of delight from Sirius, but he could still feel Sirius’ apprehension in his movements, like he couldn’t believe what he was doing, and he wasn’t sure how far he could go.

So Remus pulled back slightly, leaving them to pant into each other’s mouths for a bit. He put their foreheads together and looked into Sirius’ eyes, even though he had a tough time seeing them in the dark. “What’s the matter?,” he asked, genuine concern laced in his voice.

“I—” Sirius took his time trying to form his thoughts into coherent sentences, but Remus waited patiently for him to set his boundaries and explain what he wanted. After several failed attempts, Sirius huffed and blurted out: “I have a lot of feelings for you, Moony.”

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, but he didn’t get the time the form a response as Sirius continued.

“And I don’t just mean platonic ones. A lot of the feelings I have for you are very much not platonic, and some of them are very much not pure. I don’t want to put you on the spot, but I just— I want you to know that I mean this.” He took a deep breath once he was finished, and sighed. He didn’t look Remus in the eyes as he waited nervously for him to say something.

“I mean it too.”

Sirius’ eyes shot up to Remus’ as he registered those words. He frowned but smiled tentatively as if that was the last thing he had expected to hear. “Really?”
Remus chuckled. “Yes, Merlin, of course I mean it. This doesn’t seem incredibly platonic to me, does it?”

Sirius chuckled too, and he moved his hand up into Remus’ curls to pull his whole head into another kiss. The hand on Remus’ back moved upwards under his sweater, the thumb tracing his spine with just the right amount of pressure. Remus moaned into Sirius’ mouth as his body was once again pushed fully into Sirius.’
“Now, as for impure…,” Remus mumbled, and Sirius broke away to let out a loud laugh. Remus quickly covered his mouth, reminding him that they were still hiding in a broom closet, well past curfew.

Remus used his new access to Sirius’ neck to lean in and plant soft kisses to the soft, soft skin. He moved upwards slowly, moving his kisses to Sirius’ jaw, his cheek, and finally the corner of that Sirius Black smile before saying: “Tell me about them.”

Sirius chuckled, but he bit his lip, looking flustered. “What do you mean?”

Remus fixed him with an intense gaze. “Your impure thoughts. Would you like to tell me about them?”

“Oh Merlin,” Sirius whispered under Remus’ gaze, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Ooh, is it that bad?,” Remus snickered, moving his mouth back to the underside of Sirius’ jaw. “How impure were you implying, exactly, Black?” He moved his trail up to follow Sirius’ sharp jawline, the shell of his ear, and finally, a soft spot right behind Sirius’ ear that earned him a particularly delightful gasp when he sucked on it.

“Fuck,” Sirius cursed, tightening his grip in Remus’ hair. “Pretty filthy, to be completely honest with you, Lupin,” he managed to pant out, and this time it was Remus who cursed under his breath.

“Really?,” he asked, removing his arm from the wall to put it on the small of Sirius’ back, mirroring what Sirius had done. Only, instead of going up, Remus decided to move his hand down, down, down, leaving it to rest on Sirius’ leather-clad arse. “Like what?” He tried to keep his voice confident and smooth, even though he really was very eager to know. Imagining Sirius imagining Remus… It brought up some pretty filthy thoughts with Remus himself.

“Like…,” Sirius started, moving to pull Remus back into a passionate kiss. “In the shower,” he muttered against his lips, even the movement of Sirius’ lips forming those words enough to drive him crazy. “Multiple times,” he chuckled, never breaking the kiss. The hand on his back slid slightly downward, his thumb hooking into the top of Remus trousers. “I always felt really guilty afterwards, but if only I’d known you would have been up for it…” His thumb traced the fabric of his trousers until it slid all the way around to the front of his jeans.

“Oh,” Remus let out, more of a breath, really.

“Yeah,” Sirius smirked against his lips. “I might have invited you.” His hand reached the button of Remus’ trousers. “Or, you know, I might have just told you I was doing it and left you to your own devices,” he said, and then he moved his hand to cup Remus’ dick through the fabric of his trousers.

Remus let out a moan so loud he had to force himself to break the kiss and bury his head into the crook of Sirius’ neck.

It had been a mistake, because the next thing he knew, the door to the pantry flew wide open, and they were met with the disapproving gaze of Professor Minerva McGonagall. Sirius and Remus instantly jumped apart, trying to put as much distance between each other as physically possible in the tiny space.

“What in Merlin’s name are you two doing here this late past curfew!?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Sirius answered anyway. “Er…, chatting?” Remus put his face into his palm.

McGonagall was seething. “Detention, both of you! Now, get out and go to bed! Ten points from Gryffindor!”

Sirius quickly bent down to grab his wand before grabbing Remus’ wrist and dragging him along once more.