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Trying to Remember (How It Feels to Have A Heartbeat)

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Life truly wasn't what Jaskier thought it would be. One minute, he was entering the sex shop to look for a dildo. The next, a hand was turning him around, manicured nails sharp under his chin. An elderly woman was examining him. 


"Erm, ma'am. Let go of my chin," Jaskier asked, gently trying to step away. Her grip tightened. 


"Stay where I can see you, young man. " Her beady eyes winked at him. "Yes..." she said thoughtfully. "Yes, I think you'll do nicely."


 "Uh..." Jaskier said, and she smiled at him-- her toothless mouth gaped at him, actually. It was quite horrifying. 


"Come along, dearie, let's get you situated. Were you looking for something in particular?" Jaskier tried to shake off the strange feeling of being grabbed and examined by a complete stranger, and said that, yes, he was looking for a dildo. 


She nodded, and motioned for him to follow him. She was withered and shrunken, and Jaskier followed at a distance. 


The shop was much darker than he'd expected-- there were very few lights, and the bright pink flashing sign outside reflected boldly into the room, throwing shadows across the floor. 


"Ah, here we are." The woman said. Jaskier swallowed. His gut was telling him to leave, to get out, to go somewhere else for this pleasure. But her voice broke into his reverie. 


"Why not...try....this one, dearie?" Her withered hands were holding something, and the flashing pink light illuminated it. 


Jaskier groaned at the sight of it. Purple, with a suction cup at the bottom, and thick, the dildo looked like exactly what he wanted. 


"Would you like to hold it?" The woman croaked, and Jaskier smiled nervously. 


"Ah, sure." He said. This shop sure had a hands on approach. 


He reached out and took the dildo into his grasp, marveling at how warm it felt. He turned it over and over, examining it. It was perfect , everything he was looking for. But why was it making his hands tingle?


 Jaskier smiled politely. "I think...maybe something else?" He tried to hand it back to her, but he couldn't. It seemed as if the dildo had affixed itself to him. And when he tried to step back... he couldn't. 


"You don't choose the dildo. It chooses you," the crone said, and gave a terrifying high pitched cackle as Jaskier felt himself freezing in place. He couldn't move his hands... his arms. His eyes! His mouth hung open like he was a dead fish. This was dangerous, so dangerous, and he was caught, frozen in place. 


The woman reached out, tapping his face. A hollow reverberation echoed, and she nodded, satisfied. "You have become what you were meant to be. A living doll, and no one except the one who truly loves you may ever have you." 


As he stood there, her form began to change. Her back elongated, straightening, her hair became a youthful blonde, and her face free of wrinkles. She looked much younger, perhaps in her mid thirties. She had changed him into a doll, for her youth..


Her arms, suddenly strong, wrapped around his torso, and heaved him up. He tried to scream, as he was carried further into the shop, but found that he could not. 


He had lost his freedom, lost his purpose, lost his life-- for a sex toy. Jaskier's head spun as she placed him down in the back of the shop, facing where he could barely see the door, where light was fading quickly. 


"Now, be a good dolly, and let me examine you," she said softly, her voice lilting. Jaskier's glass eyes stared forwards, unmoving, as she stripped him of his clothes; his beautiful red jacket, his favorite shoes, all discarded in a heap. 


"Now, what will fit you?" She murmured, and came back with a suit. But not just any suit, Jaskier saw, as she held it up to the light. It was a suit of black fishnet, which would leave his body completely nude, but leave some semblance of elegance and beauty. His cock would be nestled, it would seem, in a small velvet sack, but the rest of him was on display.


Inside of his plastic body, the real Jaskier shuddered. But as she slid it onto him, something strange seemed to happen. There were hands on his body; he could still feel it. Trapped, and scared, Jaskier could feel her now youthful hands dragging over his skin, over his body. Jaskier wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, to shout at her to stop, as his cock hardened of its own volition. 


The woman stepped back, pleased. "Now, that's what I call a sex toy," she said, beaming at him. "You'll see. Your master will be perfect. You'll call to him-- that's in the magic." And with that, she walked away, and Jaskier was left to his misery, and utter humiliation, his cock wilting eventually.


Time was irrelevant, when you were a doll. As was eating, sleeping, even breathing. Jaskier was merely a statue, merely something to be used. Therefore, his only way of knowing how time was passing was the strip of light above the door, and when the woman would open the shop. Customers came in, but she never brought him out. And she never changed them into a doll. Yes, Jaskier thought bitterly, he truly was one of a kind.


 As he stewed in his plastic body, he thought of how he might escape. Love was hard to come by in this world; his days of being a fuckboy, it would seem, were over. Seducing someone was out of the question. Therefore, all he could do was wait. But he didn't have to wait that long, as it turned out.


The seasons had changed, he knew that much. Now, instead of spring flowers, there were autumn leaves blowing into the shop that the woman furiously swept out with a broom. When she came for him, he no longer inwardly flinched. She had sung in the shop, and she had a beautiful voice. 


Jaskier no longer despised her-- but he was sorrowful for the loss of his life. Did everything really happen for a reason, he wondered? Or was he being punished, some sort of karmic evolution?


Her hands were still strong, and if he could gasp, Jaskier would have. It had been so long since anyone had touched him-- it actually felt wonderful, despite it being only a pair of arms around his waist, carrying him to the middle of the shop.


Jaskier was placed between the dildos, and the lingerie-- coincidence? He thought not. From here, she positioned him seductively-- one hand upon his hip. Inwardly, he scoffed; if that was supposed to be seductive, he would have been doing it a long time ago. 


"You're still in working condition. There's time, yet." She said softly. "Time for him to come to you." 


Jaskier did notice that his fingers felt flesh-like-- he was no longer plastic; it was as if he was a warm human body, standing there, unable to move. "That means the spell is working." The woman added, as she went behind the register.


 Jaskier didn't know what that meant, but he hoped... that there was still time for someone to save him from this inner hell.  


People came and went as they pleased, but none of them even so much as looked at Jaskier. Jaskier was salty. In his life, he had been wanted by many, men, women and nonbinary folk alike; where was this so called love of his? And why weren't they getting there faster?


 It was only on a day that the breeze gave him goosebumps, that a hooded man entered the shop. 


The woman greeted him cheerily, as usual. "Welcome to The Rapture, what can I do for you, sir?" 


There was no answer. The man merely began to stalk around the shop, beginning at the exterior, and working his way through the store. Jaskier did not know where he went, but he could hear the footfalls, heavy work boots trudging all over the woman's silk carpet. He didn't hear the rattle of chains, or the movement of the porn videos, or the click of anal beads. Just the footfalls, moving constantly, without pause. And then they were behind him. For the first time since Jaskier had become a doll, he was frightened.

“Are you interested in one of our specialty sex dolls?” The woman emerged from behind the counter. “This one is quite a pretty piece, but I can find some more in the back–”


A hand on the small of his back would have made Jaskier jump, if he had been able to move. It withdrew just as quickly. 


“It feels…warm,” the man’s husky voice filled the shop. The woman nodded. 


“Yes, it’s almost as if it were alive. It’s exactly like a human– it can cry, it can cum. All it can’t do is move and speak,” the woman said gleefully. “Would you like to see its features?” She moved towards him, and Jaskier internally winced. He didn’t want to cum with this woman touching him. 


“No,” the man said, stepping around Jaskier to the front, and removing his hood. 


Scars, deep burns, covered one side of the man’s face, half hidden by his unruly hair. His eyes, a deep clear green, scrutinized Jaskier, one hand coming to move the hand resting on Jaskier’s hip. The man moved the hand, letting it dangle. His face was that of awe, not hunger. 


“How much?” The man asked, his large hands coming up to encircle Jaskier’s waist, moving over the fishnet, up his chest, into his hair. Jaskier preened; it felt good to be touched, even if he couldn’t reciprocate it. 


But he still didn’t know him. And the curse could only be broken by one who truly loved him. 


What if this man was going to hurt him?


Jaskier’s blood ran cold inside his plastic casing. He didn’t want to go with him, no matter how gently he was fondling Jaskier’s hair, looking at him with reverence. 


“It’s one thousand dollars, but you can also buy clothes for it, and toys to use on it.” 


Jaskier groaned. He didn’t want to be dressed up, paraded around. 


The man nodded sharply. His arms enveloped Jaskier, and he was plucked off the stand holding him up, body folding as he was thrown over the man’s shoulder. Spices, cinnamon and nutmeg, filled Jaskier’s nose. 


At least he smelled good, Jaskier thought, as the man followed the woman through the store, Jaskier dangling from his arms. 


Jaskier couldn’t see what they were picking out. The man only made occasional comments, a short ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ or ‘That one’ spilling from his lips. The woman chattered the whole time, speaking about lingerie, toys, and dresses. The man grunted out a ‘No’ to the dresses, which Jaskier was grateful for, but when the woman brought up ‘suits’, the man agreed. 


Jaskier was set down in front of the register. He could see half of the man’s face. He truly was handsome, in an imposing way, Jaskier thought. 


“Name for our records?” The woman asked, as the man removed his credit card. 

“Eskel Rivia,” the man muttered, seemingly annoyed. Jaskier knew his name now, the man who was going to be his owner; it sent a chill through him.  He paid quickly, ignoring the woman’s inane chatter, and took the bag, once more hefting Jaskier over his shoulder. 


And then they were out, into freedom– or as near to freedom as Jaskier could get, moving towards his new home.  It was mortifying, to be carried in his fishnet suit through the city, but Jaskier found he didn’t care– his mind was stuck on what might happen next.


The cold air enveloped him, and since he could only stare at the ground, he fell into a meditative state.  The ground moved beneath Eskel’s heavy work boots, and the heavy coat that covered him left Jaskier with nothing to do but think. Where was he going, and how was he going to break this curse? 


True love… the thought filled the former Jaskier, fuckboy extraordinaire, with dread. Doll Jaskier thought it might be even worse– how was he supposed to seduce someone from inside a plastic body? By merely lying there and taking…whatever was planned for him, he supposed. 


Night was falling by the time that Eskel easily unlocked a door without placing Jaskier down, and moving into the room. Jaskier smelt incense, and saw a plum colored carpet. Eskel kicked off his boots carelessly, and strode into the house, placing Jaskier upon the couch, and threw the bag beside him. 


The man stripped off his coat, revealing golden hair that caught the dim light of dusk, and flung it carelessly away. His eyes never left Jaskier. Jaskier wasn’t sure if he was going to be fucked, or if he was going to be used to play some sort of strange game. Either way, he wasn’t sure. 


“And what are we going to call you?” Eskel sank onto the couch beside him, warm palms encircling one of Jaskier’s lifeless hands. “Perhaps, something with a J. You look like a J.” The man mused, his voice soothing and quiet. It seemed he lived alone, for he had no qualms about anyone walking in on them. 


Jaskier could only stare blankly ahead, until Eskel tilted his head towards him. “Such pretty blue eyes, darling. You can call me Master,” he said. “ But my name really is Eskel. This is going to be your home from now on. I don’t think you’ll need a tour– you’ll be here for a while. Are you cold in that outfit?” 


Eskel reached for the bag, his hand brushing over Jaskier’s cock, and Jaskier inwardly grunted. That felt good, just the slightest touch. Eskel pulled the bag over Jaskier’s lap, and looked inside, drawing out a green men’s suit, complete with a golden tie with pretty suns all over them.

“If you don’t like it, I can always go and get you something else from the clothing store, dolly.” Eskel smiled, the scarred half of his face twisting. Jaskier still thought he was comley.  “But I thought that it would suit you.” 


Gentle hands moved over his body, removing the mesh fishnet outfit he’d been in for who knew how long. Eskel didn’t touch his cock, didn’t even look at it, as he slipped off the outfit and tossed it on the ground. Then, he was kneeling before him, and angling Jaskier’s hand, slipping it into his hair. 


“Mhm, yes, you like seeing me on my knees for you, serving you, don’t you?” Eskel chuckled, as he slid the soft pants up Jaskier’s thighs, securing them upon his hips. Then, the crisp white shirt was placed around his shoulders, and his arms were angled through the holes. Eskel buttoned it to the very top, then slid the tie through and tied it. 


Jaskier was struck by how methodical and meticulous he was being. Surely, normal people would just fuck their sex doll– Eskel was treating him like a human. He must be truly lonely. 


“That tie does look marvelous on you. Can’t wait to tie you up with it,” Eskel commented. “Oops. Spoiler?” He laughed at himself. “Don’t worry. I’ll wine and dine you first, J.” He smiled, leaned down, caging Jaskier in with his body, and brushed the shell of his ear with his lips. 


“And then I’ll fuck you so hard you can’t walk… oh wait. You can’t walk.”  He laughed again, pressing a firm kiss to Jaskier’s cheek. Moving back a little, he hovered over him, his eyes roving over his face.  


Jaskier doesn’t dare to even think. He was both terrified and aroused, and he didn’t know what kind of sick game he was playing. One moment, his ‘Master’ was gentle and tender, the next, joking about fucking him brutally. What was going on? 


Jaskier sat stiffly, as if he could sit any other way, as Eskel slid the coat over his upper body. A pleased sparkle lit up his eyes, and he grinned. 


That was the only warning Jaskier had before Eskel was leaning down again, pressing hot lips to his mouth, slipping his tongue inside almost immediately. Eskel didn’t seem to be deterred by how Jaskier couldn’t kiss back– he was moaning and groaning against his lips, licking his tongue, a deep and intense kiss that might have made Jaskier hard if he wasn’t so unsure of what was happening. 


Fuck. His cock is already interested, twitching in his pants; he’s been touch deprived, for so long. Jaskier can’t even kiss back– and he doesn’t want to. It’s overwhelming, and he’s scared for the rest of the night. 


Except Eskel pulls back, and laughs, bashfully. “I’m sorry, J, I got carried away. I’ll treat you like a gentleman now.”


And he does. He turns the TV on, and goes to make dinner. Jaskier watches some sort of Formula 1 documentary and actually enjoys it, despite Eskel cursing and banging pots and pans in the background. Smells of seafood and starch float through the room after a while, and Eskel emerges with two plates of shrimp scampi, placing one before Jaskier. 


“Let me get dressed, J,” he said, and practically skipped off to get dressed. Jaskier is not endeared. He’s not!


Eskel returned in an honest to gods suit. It’s small on him, showing off his bulging biceps, and his large thighs. He grins, twirling. 


“Small, eh? I know, it was for my brother’s wedding… ” Eskel shrugged, procuring a bottle of wine, and poured them each a generous glass. Then he sat down, and began to eat. 


Eskel ate politely, sipping his wine, and he talked the whole time about the documentary, how lovely ‘J’ looked, and would he care for more wine? He ate the shrimp scampi on both plates, drank both glasses, and refilled them. 


He drank the rest of the liquid. Before And then he flopped into Jaskier’s lap, a hand sliding up his chest to cup his cheek. 


“I know, it was a good first date, right?” Eskel giggled, and wrapped his arms around Jaskier, cuddling him. 


 Jaskier was stunned, to say the least. This wasn’t what he expected at all. He felt fondness blooming in his heart, despite Eskel’s earlier comments. 


And it went on like that for a few weeks. Eskel worked as a foreman at a factory. Every morning he dressed Jaskier in a different suit and tie, kissing him thoroughly and intensely before he went. He always apologized for taking advantage. Then, he leaves the TV on all day for Jaskier, as if he were a dog. The TV becomes boring, despite Eskel changing the channel every day. 


Jaskier found that he’s anticipating Eskel’s arrival. Because he came home, showered, dressed in that same old wedding suit, and cooked for them both. Then he ate, drank his drink of choice (Jaskier learned that he likes both white and red wine, as well as a fine whiskey) and then he collapsed onto Jaskier’s lap. 


Eventually, Eskel began to bring him to bed with him. He undressed Jaskier, but didn’t touch him– he merely cuddled up to him, or turned around, arranging Jaskier’s limbs so he was being held. Sometimes in the dark, Eskel talked. 


“I’ve never had someone who cares about me like my family. But I needed someone else, so I got you.” 


Or, “I’m trying to keep my hands to myself, but I really want to touch you, J. Wish you could touch me, too.” 


Jaskier was just waiting for the string to snap, so to speak. And maybe, he wanted it to. 


It happened on an unassuming night, much like the others. Eskel brought out the whiskey, and served it with a steak, cutting the rare meat in half and eating it as they watched Chopped. Eskel was quiet that night, not saying much, just drinking and eating. 


And then he turned to Jaskier, picking him up and walking into the bedroom. And his deft fingers began to remove the suit. 


Jaskier was nervous, to say the least. It was strange, having never known Eskel to be so silent, nor so tense, his jaw clenched as he removed the last vestiges of clothing from Jaskier’s body. The man doesn’t look at his naked form, he simply moved away and went into his closet where Jaskier’s outfits of suits were hung up. The doll pouted internally– he has a beautiful body, toned but lithe, and he sort of wished Eskel would at least admire him. 


Cloth was draped over him, and Eskel’s fingers slid his arms through smooth mesh. Blue flowers dotted the black see-through fabric, and Jaskier felt pampered, pretty; he’d never worn this outfit before. Black, tight pants are shimmied up his legs, and secured with a brown belt. 


Jaskier preened inwardly. He loved to be dressed up, in fact, he was getting used to it. Getting used to being with Eskel, even without all the autonomy of a human being– being spoiled, talked to, and held at night. 


Eskel stepped back, smiling like the sun. From where Jaskier was propped up on the pillows, he could see Eskel’s eyes, full of happiness. 


“There you go, J. You’re ready for what I have planned.” 


Jaskier was eager for it, his mouth watering. But when Eskel walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, he sank inwardly. Back into the space of lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling alone. He can’t say he wasn’t disappointed. 


Time passed– he’s not sure how long, since it wa still dark out and he couldn’t turn his head, but when the door clicked open, Jaskier was alert and ready. 


Heavy footfalls— Eskel was wearing his work boots, his work clothes, and it sent arousal through Jaskier as he s Eskel’s form, dark in the shadowy room. Jaskier was reminded of how Eskel was that day in the shop– mysterious, unknown, and a shudder runs through him. 


“Look at you, all dolled up.” Eskel said, his jacket slipping to the floor, his hands reaching to the hem of his shirt and removing it. He was in Jaskier’s line of sight, but Jaskier couldn’t see more than the outline of his body. He wished Eskel would turn the light on. 


The rustle of boots being kicked off, the clink of a belt hitting the floor, they all made Jaskier whine inwardly. He wanted to be touched, so badly. 


“Don’t try to run,” Eskel said, as he slinked up the bed. Jaskier still couldn’t make out anything but the outline of his body, but he knew he was naked. 


Eskel’s hands roughly grabbed his wrists, moving them from his side to beside his head, pinning him there as a heavy weight, smelling of sweat and cologne. Jaskier didn’t know what he was doing, but he was starting to get a sense as Eskel slipped his face into the crook of his neck, his cock heavy and hard against Jaskier’s through his pants. 


“I’ve wanted you for so long, you can’t deny me this,” Eskel muttered, and then his fingers were slipping to Jaskier’s chin, moving it. 


“G-get off,” Eskel whispered, and Jaskier realized: he’s talking for Jaskier. He was making it seem… like he doesn’t want it. 


“No, “ Eskel growled, and his hand moved Jaskier’s arms above his head, a length of rope appearing out of nowhere. It wasn’t a soft rope, it’s rough, like twine, and Eskel looped it around his wrists. Inside of his shell, Jaskier couldn’t deny he was getting aroused. His breathing was coming quicker, at the weight of a handsome man on top of him. 


And then Eskel ripped his shirt off. Buttons went flying, and the mesh tore, and inside, Jaskier keened as Eskel scratched down the sides of his ribs as he frantically got rid of the cloth. 


“Stop fucking moving, you know you want this,” Eskel hissed, and Jaskier could weep, because he actually did want it. It’s all in Eskel’s head that he doesn’t– because Eskel sees him as a doll. 


“So fucking hot, all mine,” Eskel groand, as he began to kiss down the plane of Jaskier’s body. His hand moved Jaskier’s legs open, and his body settled between them, as he toyed with Jaskier’s belt buckle. 


“N-no,” he whispers again, and Jaskier groaned, because he wants it, fuck. 


“I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to take my pleasure from you, and you can’t do anything about it.” Eskel’s hands removed the belt, quickly sliding Jaskier’s pants off; they were both naked and Jaskier could feel it. Feel Eskel’s masculine body against his, and he wanted to moan, but he couldn’t make any noise. 


“Look at this cock. It wants me,” Eskel hummed, his hand moving slowly over Jaskier’s neglected and half-hard cock. “Oh? You don’t want me to touch you here? That must mean you really want it.”


Jaskier wanted to say yes, but of course, Eskel spoke for him. “Get off me, you horrible monster. I don’t want you!” He made his voice breathy, but not high pitched, and Jaskier was glad for it.


Then Eskel’s mouth was on him and Jaskier really did keen inside, the feeling of wet, hot, velvet lips and a sopping wet tongue that felt like fire on his cock– it was almost too much. Eskel purred as he took Jaskier down into his mouth, and Jaskier felt his cock twitch. Eskel must have felt it too, because he pulls out and laughs, cruelly. 


“Oh, you really do like it. Ah, ah, ah, don’t deny it or I’ll be mean. You don’t want me to be mean.” He flicked Jaskier’s cock with a finger and Jaskier’s cock twitched– again.


Jaskier was so humiliated, and turned on, and embarrassed. He shouldn’t be getting off to this, but if Eskel was in his own fantasy, in his own world, maybe Jaskier can just…live it with him. 


Then Eskels moved backwards, and Jaskier had never been so glad he’s a doll; he was never flexible as a human, but when Eskel pushed his legs up into the air to reveal his ass, he was glad that his bones weren’t creaking. 


“This is going to be mine, and I’m going to destroy you,” Eskel murmured, his fingers tracing Jaskier’s balls, his perineum, and then his head snapped up. 


“Stop fucking screaming,” he said, and his palm landed on Jaskier’s ass. The jolt of corresponding arousal made Jaskier writhe inwardly. “You’ll take it, or I’ll come up there and fuck your mouth until you weep.” 


God, if only Eskel knew how hot this was for Jaskier. 


The click of a lid opening in the dark room, and then, Jaskier felt cold fingers at his entrance, tracing and smearing the lube over the opening, before Eskel pushed one thick finger inside. It was long and warm, and his body reacted, trying to draw it further in. 


“You see? Your body wants me, even if your mind doesn’t,” Eskel muttered, pumping his finger in and out. It’s efficient, and Jaskier was grateful he’s at least getting preparation.


It wasn’t his fault that he hasn’t been touched in forever, and his cock was responding, leaking over his stomach. Eskel added another finger, and Jaskier shuddered. It felt amazing, and he wished he could respond, rock down on it, moan, but he couldn’t. He just has to take it. 


“Keep begging, I like that,” Eskel laughed, as his fingers danced over Jaskier’s prostate. “You’ll be begging for my cock in no time.” 


Jaskier’s spoken for, again: Eskel continued to say ‘no, stop, I don’t want it,’ as he played with Jaskier’s prostate. Jaskier’s doll body is shuddering of its own accord, and Eskel is wide eyed, from what he can see in the dim room; he wants him to cum. 


“You’ll cum before I’m even in you, doll,” Eskel said, and lowered Jaskier’s legs, spreading them open, and shifting him down the bed, raising his hips. The head of his cock, wet and slick, poked between Jaskier’s legs, and Eskel moaned at the feeling. “So fucking wet for me. Tell me you don’t want me now.”


“I don’t… don’t want it,” Eskel spoke for him, as he slowly, slowly began to enter his dripping hole. 


But Jaskier really wanted it. Eskel was big; bigger than anyone he’s had before he was a doll, and it was splitting him open, feeling so full and wanted. 


“You still want me to stop? Well… I tried being nice.” 


Eskel slameds all the way in, and Jaskier’s body jolted in his arms, his cock spurting as Eskel bottomed out within him. Eskel laughed, running his fingers through the cum, and then; he’s moving. 


Hard, deep thrusts, the drag of the cock on his walls make Jaskier weep. He realized that there are tears running down his face, as Eskel moved forward, his tongue sliding over Jaskier’s face as he licked the salty liquid off. 


“Oh, so fucking hot when you cry for me. Keep it up,” Eskel moaned, and he replied for Jaskier, even as his thrusts began to rock the bed. “No, please– ah, so deep, don’t… don’t rape me, I don’t want it!” 


Eskel gasped, and his hand came up to Jaskier’s throat, seemingly to hold him in place as he kissed him. 


Jaskier moaned inside of his shell as Eskel kissed him; it’s unlike any other kiss he’s had before, deep and probing, all sharp teeth and wet noises, and his cock twitched underneath Eskel as Eskel drove his lifeless body into the bed. 


“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Eskel whispered against his lips, his hips rolling and then he was pulling out. 


Jaskier’s hands were untied, and Eskel picked him up, making him move as if to get away, and Eskel tossed him back down, face down, and crawled on top of him. He rearranged him, moving his body backwards so Jaskier was on his hands and knees. 


“Such a good doll, so breedable for me,” Eskel groaned, hands kneading the meat of Jaskier’s ass, and then he was slipping back in.


It’s so deep, and Jaskier’s hard cock dangles. It felt as if he didn’t cum at all, from the way Eskel kept punishing his insides, one hand wrapping around his neck and squeezing hard. Jaskier choked inside, not expecting it.


Panic flooded his receptors, and Jaskier whined inside, feeling like a victim, feeling like now he was actually being raped.  What if Eskel goes too hard and he passes out? Would he die, if he’s in a doll’s body? 


Eskel’s body was pressed against his back, his hips punching out a rhythm that made Jaskier shake. All the way, the same litany of the back and forth– he continued to speak for Jaskier, but he never allowed his victim to fold. Jaskier the doll continued to beg for him to stop, and Eskel the rapist continued to rape him. 


Tears dripped from Jaskier’s eyes. He’s overwhelmed, he wanted to cum again, and he didn’t know how long it’s been going on for. 


Eskel grunted, releasing his throat, and grabbed his hips instead. Jaskier gasped as his cock stroked over his prostate, and his body shuddered. Eskel laughed, slapping his ass again, and beginning more brutal thrusts. The sound of his balls slapping Jaskier’s ass, his moans, that’s what sent Jaskier over the edge. 


“Ah, fuck, doll!” Eskel gasped, feeling Jaskier’s tight walls get even tighter as Jaskier’s cock spurted over the red duvet, and Jaskier swam in the sea of pleasure even as Eskel buried himself in once, twice more, and cums. 


Hot liquid seared within him, and Eskel cried out, his body collapsing on top of Jaskier, making him lie flat as Eskel sank down onto him. Eskel shuddered, and lied still. 


There was a moment where Jaskier wondered if they are going to go again. But then Eskel was pulling out, and he turned Jaskier over to kiss him frantically, desperately. 


“I’m sorry, J, I’m so sorry. Forgive me,” he whispered. “I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed you, and I thought… it might be easier if I played out a fantasy.” Hot tears on Jaskier’s collarbone, and Jaskier desperately wished he could comfort him. 


“J, I love you, please don’t leave me,” Eskel muttered, and Jaskier jerked. 


He loves him? Eskel just pretended to rape him, but he loves him? Jaskier did note that Eskel never said his name. 


Sparks fly over Jaskier’s body; his body begins to tingle. Jaskier sucked in a horrified breath. No, no, no. Eskel couldn’t truly be in love with his sex doll; this couldn’t be happening. He didn’t want to emerge, he wanted to stay as ‘J’ and be Eskel’s toy, forever. 


But it doesn’t work like that. Slowly, he began to feel the plastic feeling melting away, as Eskel buried his face in his neck and sobbed, saying how much he loved him. Motion slowly begins to return– Jaskier blinked, and blinked again. He was sore, aching, and he could truly feel it. 


But he lay there, unsure of what to do. He wanted to comfort the man, but what if Eskel freaked out? 


Eskel continued pressing kisses to his collarbone, and his neck, and Jaskier knew.


“Eskel,” he whispered, and Eskel shifted. Jaskier cleared his throat, and Eskel was off him like a shot, moving away. Jaskier’s eyes followed him as he scrambled to turn on the light.


When he turned to look at Jaskier, there was only horror in his eyes. 


Jaskier reached out a stiff hand. “No, no, no. Hey. It’s okay. It’s me, J.” 


“J? But… how are you talking?” Eskel muttered, his eyes wide and his chest heaving. 


“I… went into that shop for a dildo, and the woman cursed me. She turned me into a doll, and said that only one who truly loved me could break the curse.”


“But… yes, I loved you, but as a doll.” Eskel cried. “I didn’t know you were real… I… I raped you.” 


“But I wanted it, you just didn’t know,” Jaskier breathed, moving his stiff legs and tried to crawl towards him. His limbs gave out, and he fell into the duvet, and Eskel was there within a heartbeat, helping him up. 


“What’s your name?” Eskel murmured. 


“Jaskier,” Jaskier whispered. 


“And you… you wanted it?” Eskel’s eyes were deep and vivid green, and Jaskier could only nod. 


“And… did the witch say anything about… the love being reciprocal?” Eskel looked scared, and Jaskier wanted to wrap him up in his arms and hold him forever. 


“No, but… I think the feeling is mutual. You have wined and dined me for the longest time, and talked to me, and dressed me everyday and cared for me.” Jaskier placed the flat of his palm upon Eskel’s cheek. Eskel shuddered and leaned into it. 


“Are you sure?” 


Jaskier’s eyes twinkled as he leaned in for a kiss. 


“Never been more sure about anything. Now, kiss me again, as a human, and not as a doll.”