Izuku is what we call a loner. He never had many friends and he doesn’t mind spending time alone. Izuku is also a little anxious, a little shy. It used to be way worse so there isn’t much to worry about. That’s what he tells himself when it gets hard to breathe or when he wakes up in the middle of the night, cold sweat dripping down his neck.
He used to get bullied because of his anxiety. It wasn’t fun, of course, but it wasn’t the worst either. He was able to avoid it, if he stayed away from the people who made fun of him. So that’s what he did. He started avoiding people and he got really good at it.
The issue is that now that he moved to go to college in Tokyo, he had no friends. As in not even an acquaintance from one of his classes. He was truly and utterly alone. Well, spending all of his free time on the roof of the language building probably didn’t help.
He had found out that the door to the rooftop was broken by accident. Actually, he might have gotten there with the hope that the door might be open.
He liked being here, it was quiet and big enough that he could walk around if he felt like it. Today was not one of those days. He was sitting on the ground, drawing in one of his many sketchbooks and sipping from his coffee cup. The sun was up in the sky and a light breeze made the air more breathable. All in all it was a perfect afternoon. He was about to lie down to take a quick nap when he heard the door being opened.
Who could it be ? He has been coming here for a month and never came across anyone.
He quickly looked up and was left speechless. In front of him stood none other than Bakugo Katsuki, the campus heartthrob, the one guy every one either wants to be or wants to be with. Izuku didn’t like to keep up with drama but even he knew who Bakugo was.
He had never really seen him or heard him talk before but from what he’s heard the guy was brash, stubborn and a little mean. But the man that stood before him looked rather upset and helpless. His breathing was hard and he looked like his legs could not carry him anymore. Izuku knew those symptoms all too well and without thinking he got up and approached Bakugo.
Katsuki was having a shitty day. It seemed that all the damn extras at this school could not leave him alone. It started as soon as he left his apartment and walked to his first class of the day and a girl made a show of dropping her books right in front of him. She probably thought he would bend down and pick her stuff for her. The only issue was that they weren’t in a cheesy shojo manga and Katsuki was in no mood to be nice today. To be fair he rarely was but today was worse. See, he hadn’t slept well the night before and everyone knew not to mess with him if he hadn’t had his precious 8 hours of sleep. So he just glared at her and kept walking. His first class went okay, he shared it with his best friend Eijirou and even if he hated to admit it, the guy always seemed to know how to make him feel better. They went their separate ways with the promess to meet for lunch. That’s when everything went downhill. First there was this guy from his math class who kept flirting with him even after Katsuki had told him he wasn’t interested, then a group of girls wouldn’t stop ogling him like he was just a piece of meat and not a human being with feelings. He knew he was attractive and most of the time he didn’t mind all the attention. But the issue was that he couldn’t spend even a second of his day alone. They’re was always someone looking at or talking to him. Katsuki was not what we call an extrovert, he liked having his alone time and he hated having to make small talk with people he didn’t know. So being the most wanted bachelor at school was not exactly ideal for his anxiety. Because yes, the perfect, mysterious Bakugo Katsuki struggled with anxiety, not that anyone knew. He was good at hiding his feelings and only his parents were aware of his issues. He started taking pills to calm him down but sometimes it was just too much. So when he found himself surrounded by a group of fangirls who were all speaking louder than the other, he slowly started to feel overwhelmed. It felt like his skin was burning and he realized he started to have trouble breathing. Without a second thought he walked through the crowd that had formed around him and started to walk towards the nearest case of stairs. His vision was a little blurry but he kept walking. He finally stopped when he realized he had reached the last floor. In front of him was a door that probably led to the rooftop. He felt a wave of relief when the door opened and felt his lungs being filled with fresh air. He thought being alone would calm him down but the weight on his chest didn’t seem to go anywhere. He started hyperventilating thinking about his next class he was now sure he would miss. Katsuki did not miss any classes, that’s just not who he was. He started to turn around when he felt someone right in front of him. His vision was still blurry from unshed tears and the only thing he could see were big green eyes and a mop of green hair. Then he started hearing a shy voice but he couldn’t decipher what the person was trying to say. After what felt like a few minutes he started to hear more clearly
«In and out. Try to breathe, I know it’s hard but focus on my voice okay?»
Oh, the person was trying to help him. Normally he would have been angry at them. He didn’t need anyone to help him and he hated being vulnerable. But for some reason the guy’s voice, at least he thought it was a guy, was soothing and he did as he was told.
One breath in, one breath out, repeat.
He didn't know how long it took for him to start breathing normally again but when he did he saw the guy who helped him with a small smile on his face.
«You’re feeling better ? » he asked, concern still visible in his eyes.
Katsuki was still a little stunned and took his time to reply. He was feeling better, but he hated to admit that this guy did help him. He was about to grunt out a mean response but seeing the guy wait patiently for him to find the right words made his heart flutter a bit. He didn’t know what it was but this guy made him want to be nicer.
«Yeah, I’m fine now.» He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck and added, «Thanks. »
The guy’s eyes grew comically wider, like he wasn’t expecting Katsuki to thank him. Which made sense considering his reputation.
«My name is Bakugo Katsuki. » Since when did he make small talk? He could’ve just turned around and never speak to this guy again. But the prospect of never seeing those big green eyes made him feel weird. And wait ? Were those freckles ? Yep they definitely were.
«Oh. Hi ! I’m Midoriya Izuku ! » Izuku huh ?
«So? What are you doing here all alone anyway ? » Katsuki asked genuinely curious.
«Oh. Well I like the quiet I guess ? » Izuku replied.
Katsuki was about to reply when he realized he still felt weak from his panic attack and his legs could barely hold him. Midoriya seemed to have noticed it because he ushered him towards where he was previously sitting. They ended up sitting close next to each other, so close that their knees were touching.
«You’re okay ? » Midoriya asked.
«Yes, I’m fine, don't worry. »
Neither of them spoke after that but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. They stayed like this for a few minutes when Katsuki decided to speak up.
«Could you keep this to yourself? I don’t want anyone to know about my attacks.»
Midoriya looked up to him, with an expression Katsuki could not decipher. «Don’t worry I wasn’t going to say anything. » He finally said with a small smile.
Katsuki looked at him, doubtful. Usually, people would kill to have even the tiniest piece of information about him. He was very secretive and people loved to gossip. So why would Midoriya be any different ?
«Were you?» He asked, his voice coming out weaker than expected.
Midoriya must have heard the change in his voice, because he gave him a comforting smile before adding :
«Of course ! Why would I tell people about your panic attacks ? It’s a very personal subject and I know it can be hard to be vulnerable around people, especially people you don’t know. I struggle with anxiety too and I would never put someone in a position that could make them even more anxious. You really don’t have to worry, I won’t pry and I most definitely won’t tell anyone. »
Katsuki felt his heart beat faster at Midoriya’s words. No one outside his friend group had ever been so considerate towards him. And he knew Midoriya was being sincere, he didn’t know him at all but this guy seemed to be the most genuine person Katsuki had ever met.
«Still, thank you for keeping this to yourself. » He had never thanked someone so much in his entire life, but he quickly realized that Midoriya pushed him to do things he wasn’t used to.
They ended up staying on the roof for a little bit longer until Katsuki’s phone dinged in his pocket.
Shittyhair : Hey Bakubro ? Where are you ? I’m waiting for you in the cafeteria !
« Fuck ! » Katsuki got up as fast as he could and started to walk towards the door.
«Is everything okay ? » He heard a small voice call after him.
«Yes, I just realized I Promised a friend I would eat with them. »
«Oh! Goodbye then! » Midoriya said smiling, even though Katsuki swore he heard disappointment in his voice.
«Hum, do you come here often or was it a one time thing ? »
«No I come here almost every day before lunch and every time I have some free time! »
«Is it okay if I come up here too ? »
Surprise was clearly visible all over Midoriya’s face.
«Yes ! Of course you can ! » He stuttered a bit.
«Well I’ll see you around then. Bye ! » And he opened the door to meet with Kirishima.
Izuku sat, stunned from everything that just happened. First of all, he never thought that someone as popular as Bakugo would have similar struggles as him, second of all, did Bakugo just imply that he wanted to see him again ? Surely he’s just happy he found a place where he could be alone, but then again, why would he have asked Izuku if he came here often? Wait ? Does this mean Izuku just made his first friend ? Were they even friends now ? Izuku wasn’t sure, he didn’t really know how this worked.
He ended up leaving to go to his next class.
On the next day, he climbed up to the roof for his lunch break like he did every single day. But when he opened the door, he was met with ruby eyes and light blond hair. Bakugo was sitting on the floor, where Izuku had sat many times before. He looked up to Izuku and gave him a tentative wave and a small smile. He almost seemed shy and Izuku never thought he would use this word to describe the Bakugo Katsuki.
«Hey. » Bakugo said, still looking up at Izuku.
«H-hey ! »
«I hope you don’t mind if I stay here with you ? I know you said you liked coming here to be alone. »
«No ! Not at all ! Actually I’m glad I get to spend time with someone else. I don’t really have any friends here. »
Why did he say that? Now Bakugo will definitely know he's a loser.
«You don’t ? » Bakugo asked, sounding confused.
«No, I’m not the best at making friends. »
«That’s weird. You look really friendly. »
Izuku wasn’t sure what that meant but he still blushed at the compliment.
«Thanks, I guess. » He replied with a nervous laugh.
He walked towards Bakugo and sat down next to him, leaving more space between them than the day before.
After this day, they ended up meeting on a regular basis. At first they talked about their classes, and other school related stuff but as time went on they started sharing more personal information. They talked about their families and friends from High-School, they even talked about their anxiety and realized they had more in common than they initially thought.
Izuku felt comfortable around Bakugo. It felt like he could actually be himself around him. Bakugo was nothing like the rumors let him to be. He could be harsh, yes, but he was also nice and considerate, he was a good listener and never once stopped Izuku in his ramblings.
After a month, they called each other by their first names. They even exchanged phone numbers and started to talk outside of their meetings on the roof. Spending so much time with the other made Izuku realize that he may have feelings for Katsuki. He knew it was foolish and that everyone at school had a crush on him. But he liked to think that he knew him better than the people who fawned over him. He decided to keep it to himself as he did not want to lose his only friend.
Katsuki was sitting on the floor of the apartment Eijirou shared with Denki. They were both playing Mario Kart while Mina was excitedly watching . Katsuki was sitting next to his friends on the couch, busy texting Izuku. They had grown closer over the weeks and Katsuki had started to look forward to their meetings.
Izuku : Aren’t you hanging out with your friends today ?
Me : They aren’t my friends. But yes, I’m hanging out with the extras.
Izuku : That’s not very nice Kacchan !!
Me : What did you call me ?!!
Izuku : Kacchan !! It’s a cute nickname I found for you ^^.
Katsuki’s heart missed a beat as he read the last text. Why did Izuku have to be so cute ? He knew his feelings for his new friend were slowly shifting to something more and even if he would love to date Izuku he also didn’t want to lose him.
«Who are you texting ? » Mina asked, her head innocently cocked to the side.
«None of your business. » Katsuki grunted.
«But you’re never so much on your phone and you always reply hours later so of course I’m curious ! »
«Well, that’s a you problem cause I’m not telling you. »
«You’re no fun ! » She whined.
«Maybe he’s texting his boyfriend ? » Denki singsonged
Katsuki felt a blush rise to his cheeks «Shut up !»
«Oh. My. God ! No way ! » Mina was now sitting next to Katsuki, a wide grin plastered on her face.
«Who is it ? Do we know him ? Does he go to our school ? »
Katsuki hated when people were trying to pry on his personal life. He liked to keep a lot to himself and even his closest friends didn’t know much about him. And he liked his relationship with Izuku to be a secret. Not that he was ashamed of him, it was actually quite the opposite. He liked the person he became when he was around Izuku, and he didn’t want his other friends to interfere with it.
As his friends kept on asking questions, he felt an all too familiar feeling grow in his stomach. Sweat was starting to form on his forehead and his heart started to beat louder in his chest. He had to get out of there soon.
He tried to hide his state as much as he could and got up from the couch.
«You extras are making my ears bleed. I'm out of here. » He could hear the whines of protest from his friends as he closed the door behind him.
Once he got home he quickly ran to the shower to get rid of all the anxiety that built up since he left his friend’s place. But even after his shower he could still feel a ringing in his ear and his heart was still beating faster than normal. He was used to having panic attacks and he knew that they didn’t go away easily. It always took him a few hours to fully calm down. The only time he was able to get rid of it fast was the time Izuku helped him.
His name kept on ringing in his head. Should he call him ? That would be pathetic. But again, Izuku was one of the nicest people he knew and he would never judge him. But it was pretty late already, he couldn’t call him and ask him to come over could he ?
Before he realized it, he had his phone in his hand and he had already dialed Izuku’s number.
«Hi ! » Came a bright and joyful voice.
«Hey. » Katsuki’s voice came out as a whisper.
«Is everything okay ? »
«Could you come over ? I’m not feeling good. »
«I’m on my way ! »
Katsuki let out a relieved sigh and let himself fall down on his kitchen floor. If you had told him that one day he would call someone to help him go through one of his attacks he would’ve laughed in your face. But something about Izuku made him want to be vulnerable.
Not even 20 minutes later he heard someone knock on his door. He quickly got up and rushed towards the sound.
Soon he was met with big green eyes and a soft smile. Izuku looked like he had been running to Katsuki’s apartment and the knowledge that he had been worried about him made Katsuki’s heart squeeze a little.
«Kacchan ! Is everything okay ? » he asked as he walked through the door and took his shoes off.
Katsuki didn’t even know how to explain what he was feeling. He stayed quiet for a while before he felt a single tear rolling down his cheek.
«Hey, it’s okay. I’m here now.» Izuku said softly as he brought Katsuki into a tight hug. The warmth from Izuku’s body spread into Katsuki’s own. He couldn’t contain his tears anymore and he was soon sobbing into the crook of Izuku’s neck. They stayed like this, holding each other for a few minutes before Katsuki pulled away, looking everywhere but into Izuku’s eyes. He may be more comfortable around the other man but that didn’t mean he was not embarrassed to show his emotions.
Izuku took his hand and guided him towards the couch where they sat close to each other.
«Do you want to talk about it ? »
«Yes, but I don’t know how. » Katsuki said, looking down at his hands that were resting on his lap.
«You could try to tell me what triggered your attack ? If you’re comfortable with it. »
Katsuki took a deep breath and said :
«I was hanging out with my friends. They were playing video games while I was texting you.»
He stopped to look at Izuku and saw the encouraging smile he gave him.
«At some point, Mina asked me who I was texting and I didn’t want to answer. But she kept pushing me to tell her who it was and they started to tease me and say I was texting my boyfriend. »
Izuku’s expression changed for a second but he quickly got back to his previous state.
«That’s when I started to feel anxious. I quickly left and gave them a shitty excuse. »
They both sat there, Katsuki waiting for Izuku to say something.
«So, you didn’t want them to know about us ? Katsuki looked up at Izuku and he saw the other man blush with the realization of what he just said.
«I meant about our friendship ! I mean because that’s what we are right ? Friends ! Obviously I didn’t mean you know what because that would be... »
«Hey nerd, shut up, you’re going to have an aneurysm ! »
Izuku stopped talking and put his hands in front of his mouth.
«I’m sorry. » He squeaked.
«It’s fine, I know what you meant. And to answer your question, yes. I didn’t want them to know about us. »
«Oh. » Izuku said, sounding disappointed.
Katsuki quickly realized his mistake :
«Not because I’m ashamed of you or some shit.» Izuku looked up at him expectantly : «It’s just that you’re not like my other friends. And I’m not the same person when I’m with you. To be honest, I like me better when I’m with you. And I guess I’m just scared to show this side of me to them. We’ve known each other for years and they all expect me to act a certain way you know ? But you, you didn’t know me at all, so it was easier for me to be fully myself. »
When he looked up he saw Izuku’s eyes filled with tears.
«Shit ! Did I say something wrong ? I’m sorry ! »
Izuku frantically waved his hands in front of his face.
«No ! not at all ! It’s just that I wasn’t expecting you to tell me all this. I didn’t know our friendship meant this much to you. Not that it is not important to me ! You’re actually the most important person in my life right now. Oh my god I’m sorry I was supposed to comfort you not the other way around. »
Katsuki took his time to process what Izuku had just said. Once he did something in him lit up and his panic attack was all but forgotten.
«I’m the most important person in your life huh ? » He said with a smirk.
«Eee ! » Izuku hid his red face behind his hands : «That’s all you remember ! »
«That's interesting information. »
Izuku slowly let his hands fall down on his lap, revealing the deep blush on his cheeks.
«It’s true though, you’re really special to me.» He said, a newfound confidence to his voice.
Katsuki didn’t want to misinterpret what he was saying, but he just couldn’t let Izuku tell him all those heartfelt things and not confess. Plus he looked way too adorable and Katsuki’s restraint was growing thin. But before he could say anything, Izuku kept talking :
«But I would totally understand if you didn’t feel the same. I mean you probably have people tell you how amazing you are on a daily basis. So I don’t think anything I could say would be any different. »
«It is tough. » Katsuki replied.
«Huh ? »
«What all the other extras say means nothing to me because I don’t know them. But I know you. And I like you. So your words mean a lot to me. »
«You like me ? » Izuku murmured.
«I do. »
«As in, you like me ? Or you like, like me ? »
Katsuki chuckled a bit : «As in, I want to take you on a date and show you how amazing you are. »
Izuku’s mouth fell wide open.
«You do ? »
«Yes, that’s what I said. Unless you don’t feel the same and I misread the whole thing. »
«No ! I mean yes. I like you too. »
«Does this mean I can kiss you? » Izuku asked shyly.
In lieu of a response, Katsuki gently grabbed Izuku’s chin and tilted his head up. He delicately put his lips against Izuku’s own. The kiss was chaste and quick but it was everything he ever dreamed of. They slowly pulled apart with big grins on their faces.
Izuku and Katsui spent the whole evening talking and stealing kisses. It was almost too good to be true and Izuku knew his face was going to hurt from smiling so much. They were halfway through a superhero movie when Izuku felt his eyes close. It was getting pretty late and the conversation he just had with Katsuki was pretty exhausting.
He stretched his arms above his head :
«Kacchan ? »
«Yes ? »
«It’s getting pretty late so I think I’m gonna get going. » He said with a smile.
«You can stay if you want to. » Katsuki said, looking down at his lap.
«But I don’t want to be a bother ! Plus I have nothing to sleep in. »
Katsuki took a deep breath :
«Let me rephrase that. I want you to stay. Please ? »
Izuku saw Katsuki’s eyes shine with hope. How was he supposed to say no when he looked so adorable ?
«Ok. I’ll stay. »
Izuku stood in front of the bathroom mirror, blush rising to his cheeks as he played with the hem of the shirt Katsuki gave him. The other man was not that much taller but he was definitely broader so the shirt was hanging off Izuku’s shoulder and the hem reached his mid thigh. He slowly started to understand why people loved to wear their partner’s clothes.
He opened the door and slowly walked towards Katsuki’s bedroom.
Katsuki was scrolling on his phone when he heard the door to his room open. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight in front of him. The shirt he gave Izuku was clearly too big for him and he looked way too cute for Katsuki to handle.
«Come over here. » He said (demanded).
«O-okay. » Izuku squeaked.
He walked over to the bed and Katsuki grabbed him by the waist to make him fall on top of him.
«Hey ! »
«Sorry but you looked too cute and huggable. »
He smirked as he saw the blush that was spreading on Izuku’s cheeks. He gently put the other man’s head on his chest and tightly wrapped his arms around his waist.
They stayed like this in comfortable silence for a while before Izuku spoke up :
«Does this mean we’re boyfriends now ? »
«I’m not letting you go anywhere, so yes. »
Izuku looked up at him with a huge smile : «I’m so happy. »
«Me too. »
Katsuki woke up to the sound of someone knocking on his door. He grunted and detangled himself from his boyfriend to stand up and walk towards his front door. He was pissed. He had planned on staying in bed for as long as possible, and enjoy the warmth of Izuku’s body. So whoever was behind that door was most likely going to die soon.
The knocking didn’t stop and he opened the door in one go. Behind it stood his stupid friends. Eijirou welcomed him with a big smile as Mina and Denki invited themselves inside his apartment.
«What the fuck are you doing here ! » He tried to keep his voice down, not wanting to wake Izuku up.
«Hey bro ! We wanted to apologize for yesterday we really didn’ want to upset you ! »
Katsuki would never admit it but he was glad they realized they stepped over his boundaries.
«If you want to apoplogize than leave me the fuck alone ! »
«Come on Bakugo ! It’s not like you were busy ! Let’s spend some time together ! »
«Who said I wasn’t busy ? »
«We’re your only friends and you hate going outside on Sundays ! » Denki almost screamed.
Katsuki was about to shush them when he heard the door to his room being opened.
«Kacchan ? »
Mina started to scream, Eijirou gasped, Denki fell to the ground and Katsuki just wanted to disappear into the ground.