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five dumbasses + kaz walk into a room

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[five dumbasses + kaz walk into a room]

wednesday, june 1

12:01 am

 

bad bitch

HAPPY PRIDE

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

EVERYONE CHEERED

two goats in a trenchgoat

THE BEST MONTH OF THE YEAR!!!!!!

 

flute friend wylan

no one is allowed to be mean to me the entire month because that would be homophobic

 

bad bitch

so true of you!!!!

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

kaz did you hear that

 

bad bitch

kaz

 

flute friend wylan

kaz

 

bad bitch

kaz

 

flute friend wylan

kaz

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

kaz

 

bad bitch

kaz

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

kaz

 

flute friend wylan

kaz

 

bad bitch

he’s ignoring us

 

flute friend wylan

can’t believe that!!!

flute friend wylan

the homophobia is astounding!!!!

 

kazzy

I hate you all

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

that’s homophobic

 

kazzy

I s2g

 

sneak attack

damn did you have an alarm set or something?

sneak attack

it’s like exactly midnight

 

kristoff from frozen

Yes, her phone blared Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” directly into my ear

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

nah the best song for pride is diana ross’s “i’m coming out”

 

bad bitch

no my gaydar is an internal clock

bad bitch

it lets me know when june 1st is

bad bitch

it’s only useful once a year

 

flute friend wylan

seems like a pretty shitty gaydar

 

bad bitch

you can’t be mean to be that’s homophobic

 

kazzy

Is this going to be happening the entire month

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

yes

 

flute friend wylan

yes

 

bad bitch

yes

 

kazzy

I’ll just have to be extra mean to Matthias then

 

bad bitch

he just let out the deepest sigh

 

kristoff from frozen

You’re on thin ice

 

bad bitch

me????

bad bitch

babe how could you say this

bad bitch

the homophobia????

 

kristoff from frozen

No love I was talking to Kaz

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

i want matthias to call me love

 

bad bitch

stop thirsting after my boyfriend get ur own

 

flute friend wylan

i have been summoned???

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

hey babe

two goats in a trenchcoat

happy pride

 

flute friend wylan

omg babe

two goats in a trenchcoat

happy pride babe

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

thanks babe

 

flute friend wylan

you’re welcome babe

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

love you babe

 

flute friend wylan

love you too babe

 

bad bitch

i love all you babes

 

sneak attack

nina babe i love you too

 

kazzy

I’m going to block that word from my phone

 

sneak attack

i don’t think that’s possible

 

kazzy

Damn then I’ll just have to settle for throwing myself out the window

 

kristoff from frozen

Won’t hear anything from me

 

bad bitch

kaz, babe, it’s okay

 

kazzy has left the chat

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

BABE NO

 

bad bitch

BABE COME BACK

 

flute friend wylan

you calling kaz babe is matthias’s villain origin story

 

kristoff from frozen

😐

 

two goats in a trenchcoat changed bad bitch to bad babe

 

bad babe

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 

bad babe changed two goats in a trenchcoat to two babes in a trenchcoat

 

sneak attack

this is pure chaos

 

flute friend wylan changed sneak attack to babe attack

 

bad babe changed flute friend wylan to flute friend babe

 

bad babe

babe what do you mean

 

flute friend babe

yeah babe what do you mean?

 

bad babe changed kristoff from frozen to babe from frozen

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

babe from the movie babe

 

flute friend babe

that’s the one with the spider right

 

bad babe

WHAT

bad babe

NO

 

babe attack

😭😭that’s charlotte’s web

 

flute friend babe

oh

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

IM FUCKING DEAD

 

babe from frozen

Oh yes sorry, I read that one in school

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

that was part of the cult curriculum?

 

babe from frozen

😐

babe from frozen

Yes

 

bad babe

they said “welcome to the cult take your orientation pamphlet and your copy of charlotte’s web”

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

i can think of so many other books to include in a culty high school curriculum

 

babe from frozen

No I went to a regular high school, we only went to Djerholm for elementary and middle school years

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

every new piece of information i learn about you is so goddamn interesting

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

pls babe tell me your whole life story

 

bad babe

ok looking at everyone’s names is giving me a migraine

 

babe attack

well we can’t have that, not during pride month

 

bad babe

thank u bestie

bad babe

always has my back

bad babe

the light of my life

 

babe attack

🥰

 

flute friend babe

can we change everyone back this is like breaking my brain fshjl

 

two babes in a trenchcoat

ofc wy❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

two babes in a trenchcoat changed flute friend babe to flute friend wylan

 

two babes in a trenchcoat changed babe attack to sneak attack

 

two babes in a trenchcoat changed babe from frozen to kristoff from frozen

 

two babes in a trenchcoat changed bad babe to bad bitch

 

bad bitch changed two babes in a trenchcoat to two goats in a trenchcoat

 

 

kristoff from frozen

So many notifications

 

flute friend wylan

lmao

 

bad bitch

omg wait

bad bitch

someone get kaz

 

sneak attack

oh believe me he’s fine to be missing this

sneak attack

at least i would imagine

 

flute friend wylan added kazzy to the chat

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

hi bff

 

kazzy

Are we done now

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

yes i’m all babed out

 

flute friend wylan

i’m sleepy

 

bad bitch

if you don’t say goodnight to wylan you’re homophobic

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

nooooo i want to hear matthias’s life story

 

flute friend wylan

AT MIDNIGHT??

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

i have needs

 

bad bitch

gather round children

bad bitch

once upon a time in rural canada lived a piece of shit named jarl brum

bad bitch

he created a cult that made other people pieces of shit

bad bitch

then many years later in their freshman year of college a hot piece of ass named matthias got stuck in an elevator with another hot piece of ass named nina and their enemies to lovers arc began

 

flute friend wylan

that’s some fanfic shit right there

 

sneak attack

i simply didn’t believe her when she told me about it

 

bad bitch

and then i bewitched him with my feminine wiles

bad bitch

matthias you can cut in whenever

 

kristoff from frozen

No it’s okay I think you’re doing a great job

kristoff from frozen

You’re telling it better than I would

 

bad bitch

i am a fantastic storyteller

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

what happened next what happened next

 

sneak attack

jes you literally know all of this

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

shhhhhhhh

 

bad bitch

and then we fell in love and said a big fuck you to brum and matthias became a changed man

bad bitch

we’re teaching him the modern ways of life

 

flute friend wylan

yay matthias!!! character development!!

 

sneak attack

femenist king!!

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

AN ALLY!!!!!!

two goats in a trenchcoat

PLEASE LET ME PUT GLITTER ON HIM WHEN WE GO TO PRIDE

 

kristoff from frozen

Nina got me a shirt!

 

bad bitch

it’s great it says “bi wife energy”

 

flute friend wylan

AHAHAHAHAHAH

 

sneak attack

iconic

 

bad bitch

anyways that concludes storytime

bad bitch

pls comment rate and subscribe

 

sneak attack

10/10 storytime

 

bad bitch

thank you my love

 

sneak attack

*MWAH*

 

bad bitch

😘😘😛

 

kazzy

Now Wylan can go to sleep it’s past his bedtime

 

flute friend wylan

fight me kaz

 

kazzy

You literally said you were going to bed

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

when he’s a good listener>>>>>

 

bad bitch

EVERYONE SAY GOODNIGHT TO MY SON!!!

 

kristoff from frozen

Goodnight son

 

flute friend wylan

DAD????

 

bad bitch

GOODNIGHT WY

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

i can say goodnight to him in person he’s legit on me right now

 

sneak attack

o h

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

keep your mind out of the gutter

 

flute friend wylan

he’s a nice pillow🥺🥺

 

sneak attack

goodnight wy💛💛💛💛

 

bad bitch

ya jes you still have to say goodnight here so we all hear it

 

two goats in a trenchcoat

fine

two goats in a trenchcoat

goodnight wylan

 

sneak attack

now kaz!!!

 

kazzy

Goodnight Wylan. 

 

flute friend wylan

taking a screenshot so i can frame this

flute friend wylan

what a great start to pride

 

kazzy

Alright.

 

bad bitch

GOODNIGHT WY

 

flute friend wylan

GOODNIGHT BFFS!!!