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Chapter 9: What's your favourite ice cream?

Notes:

Something a little bit different this time. Since there are two groups now, we're going to have two perspectives for a bit. Hope you like it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The perfectly positioned ray of sunlight woke her up. She blinked rapidly before realising where she was and dashing out of bed to remove her face cream and curlers. Beside her, Joel didn’t stir. Thank God.

She had almost forgotten to do it, after five weeks of not bothering with anything apart from the curlers - because they were vital for her signature hair style and she was hardly going to do without it. Midge felt some kind of comfort in doing this routine again, wiping the cream off of her face and sorting out her hair. She felt transported back to the Upper West Side for a few moments. Standing in front of the mirror, she stretched the skin on her face, checking for wrinkles or blemishes while very aware that her husband was sleeping in the adjoining room.

Yet she couldn’t stop picturing it. His face. She tried to picture Joel’s and yet every time she did, it sort of morphed. Into the puppy eyes standing in the doorway of his hotel room, hand still on the door as if it were giving him protection. The way his energy dropped when she told them she was leaving for the week. The way…

No Midge! Enough of this, you’re being ridiculous! Your husband is out there. The love of your life is waiting for you!

…Not that he even knows you’ve left the room in the first place.

Enough! You’re meant to be happy, this is going to be a good week! Don’t let it be spoiled. Don’t let Lenny spoil it.

Of course. Because Lenny’s the one spoiling it…

********

Midge ‘woke’ before Joel did, for once, in order to check on the children in the connecting room. She knew that Esther would be awake soon, it being a new place and that she would soon freak out if her mother wasn’t there. And then Ethan would complain at being woken up and it would be a whole thing.

Taking a seat on the armchair in the kids’ little room, she waited. And sure enough, not ten minutes went by, before Esther stirred and blinked her eyes open. Midge was at her side in an instant.

“Good morning, Sweetie.” Midge cooed. “Did you have a nice sleep?”

Esther stared up at her mother for a second before flinging her arms around her shoulders. Midge huffed at the sudden and unexpected weight. When Esther said nothing, she decided that it would be best to do so as well. So she just shifted her position so she was sitting on the little bed, Esther on her lap and rocking her slightly.

**********

Lenny hadn’t slept. He had tried. He’d been trying to sleep more recently, knowing that his usual three to four hours wasn’t exactly good for him. And, to his surprise, he had been vaguely succeeding. He had been vaguely succeeding at a lot actually. Maybe ‘vaguely’ wasn’t the right word but he was trying to remain humble, if he possibly could. Besides, he was also very aware that at any moment, it could all go completely tits up. He’d fall off the wagon, yet again, and his string of arrests would only get longer. He’d probably be sentenced to a workhouse in two years or so after a six month long obscenity trial. And that was something he certainly didn’t want to do.

So Lenny hadn’t slept. He had tried. But he couldn’t. Part of it was because of the extremely aggravating conversation he had had with Tim that evening. Tim. Who had been completely off base and didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He didn’t. He just liked to cause a stir. He’d always been like that. He revelled in watching things unfurl, Lenny knew this. He also knew that Tim was too kind hearted for his own good. He had to be in his family, Lenny guessed. But this also meant that Tim tended to be overly optimistic and that’s why he needed Lenny there to bring him down to earth. However, whenever a subject involved Lenny, the whole thing was completely useless. And that’s what last night was. Useless. Yes…useless.

For the first time since the tour started, Lenny was the first at breakfast. He had needed to get out of that room and he needed coffee. So here he was. Staring at his coffee like it offended him and sitting in a dark corner of the room.

“What is this I see before me?!” Barry’s voice boomed throughout the room. “Lenny Bruce down before the rest of us? It is not possible.”

“Then I am a mirage. Let the mirage be.” Lenny mumbled.

“Never.” Barry replied, sitting himself at Lenny's table. Lenny said nothing as Barry ordered his food however was very aware of his colleague eyeing him suspiciously.

“So…did Midge find you guys last night?” He asked. Lenny nodded in reply.

“She deserved a break from us, poor kid. Gets to spend some time with her family.” Barry said slowly as he raised his orange juice to his lips.

“Yeah.” Lenny mumbled. “She really missed ‘em.”

Barry let out an elongated sigh as he put his drink down and narrowed his eyes at Lenny before him. “I don’t care for that husband of hers.”

“He’s a perfectly nice guy.” Lenny said into his coffee.

“Oh, yeah, sure. There’s just a certain…sliminess to him.”

“How scientific.”

“All I’m saying is he’s not the man I would picture Miriam with.”

Lenny’s coffee cup landed on the saucer with a clatter and he glared in accusation at the older man.

“Miriam is happy with him. You have no say in the matter.”

Barry’s eyes widened at the sudden outburst. “I am not saying I do. But with age comes experience. And I know when something is off.”

Lenny groaned. “Look, you and Tim need to keep your noses out of Midge’s personal life, alright?” He snapped.

Barry frowned and leaned his arms on the table, intrigued. “Why? What’s Tim been saying?”

“Hello good people!”

Lenny had never been more grateful for Al’s sudden presence as the manager sat down with them.

“Nice to see you here so early, Lenny.” Al said, beaming.

And in one sentence, he mentally took all that back.

“Got any intricate, ball busting plans for this week, Al?” He asked.

Al actually looked pretty proud at that statement but shook his head. “Nah, not really. It’ll be pretty tough to do full publicity without Midge around. Besides, I think you can all take a break. You deserve it. Just be on your game on Thursday and we’re all good.”

“Oh, good.”

Al then ordered his food before eyeing Lenny and the coffee in front of him. “Are you not ordering anything, Bruce?”

Lenny shrugged. “Nah, not hungry.”

“You should really eat something.” And there it was, the fourth voice. The voice that had irritated him to the bone at this very moment.

“Tim.” Lenny huffed in greeting.

Tim slapped him on the shoulder as he sat down. “Got to keep your strength up, man.”

“I’m fine.”

Tim raised an eyebrow in disbelief but let it go. “Al, did I hear you say that you had no plans for this week?”

“Besides working, no.” Al replied.

At this, Tim clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Then we’re having a bloke’s week.”

“What?” Barry asked.

“Oh, come on! Look, I know that we’re all sad that Midge isn’t here. But she’s spending some well needed time with her family. And I suggest that we do all the things that number one, Midge wouldn’t like and number two, Al wouldn’t usually let us do.”

“Just because there are no plans, does not mean that you can get yourselves in trouble!” Al interrupted.

“We won’t, come on. It’ll be fun.”

“And what exactly does a bloke’s week entail?” Barry asked, suspicious.

“...I don’t know, bloke things. We’ll figure it out.”

“Solid plan.” Lenny whispered.

“Look, we need to get out. Have some unorganised…” He said with a pointed look at Al. “...fun. Get our minds off…”

“Off what?” Lenny snapped at him.

Tim looked at his friend and a small smirk creeped across his face. “If some of us are going to continue being stubborn, then it’s the others’ duty to distract them from it. At least until it is no longer avoidable. What do you say?”

Tim was reaching an olive branch towards him and Lenny took it, however reluctantly. “Yeah, alright. Why not?”

“That’s the spirit.”

There were a few moments of silence.

“I’m sorry, what was all that about?” Barry questioned.

**********

“So what are we doing this week?” Susie asked as she stuffed her face full of waffles. Esther was next to her, picking the strawberries off her plate and ignoring the ones on her own.

“Well,” Midge replied, delicately picking at her food. “I was thinking we could go to the park. They have the most beautiful lakes. And then there’s the museums, the houses, swimming pools…”

“Swimming!” Esther spoke up, adding a very important note to the conversation.

“That decides that then.” Joel said with a smile.

“Are there slides?” Ethan asked enthusiastically.

“I don’t know, honey.” Midge replied.

“What’s the point if there are no slides?” Susie asked.

“Not helping.” Midge glared at her friend who gave her the most innocent look and batted her eyelashes.

“Ooh!” Susie clicked her fingers. “That reminds me. Hang on.”

The Maisel family watched her suddenly get out of her seat and sprint up the stairs.

“Didn’t know she could move that fast.” Joel sniggered before turning back to his food.

“Maybe she needed to go to the toilet.” Ethan offered helpfully as Esther completely cleared Susie’s plate of strawberries.

“Yes, son, maybe that’s it.”

It didn’t take too long for Susie to come running back down the stairs again and throw a letter in front of Midge.

“From Abe.” Was the only explanation she gave.

“What?” Midge asked. “Why has Papa sent me a letter?”

Susie sighed. “Well, the reasoning he gave me was that he felt weird that you kept sending them postcards and he felt a duty to reply.”

“But I call them often…”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s your father. He’s insane.”

Midge chuckled and shook her head as she opened the letter. Replying to her postcards.

“You going to open it here?” Joel asked.

“Of course.” Midge replied, ignoring his tone and ripping it open. She blanked Joel’s slight huff.

Dear Miriam, it read,

'Since you have sent us a postcard a week, I thought it only right to reply with a postcard of my own. Now, I know that I have not done this for any of your other tours, however your mother has been taking up a lot of your phone calls recently and you know that I far prefer writing anyhow. Anyway, onto the news. We have finally managed to get that new apartment and everything is being arranged. A one bedroom was just too small and now we will have room for when you and kids want to stay over. Honestly, they deserve their own room by now. I am still yearning for the Upper West Side but that looks to be far in the distance. We will get there eventually, my child. Your mother’s business is getting better. She may actually make money from it soon.

It’s nice to hear that you’re having a good time and that your colleagues are nice men. We miss you but it helps to know that you’re not having to force them to see your worth. Your mother and I saw that interview you did with Lenny Bruce, did she tell you that? I don’t think she approved but I certainly thought it was very entertaining. I always did think that Lenny Bruce was more than people said. A man with such conviction and bravery surely could not be fully malicious. You look like you get along well. He certainly likes you, that is for sure. I hope you like him too. Seems like he needs a friend. As do you.'

“Midge.” Joel stopped her from her reading. “Could you please read the rest of that some other time? We’re having breakfast.”

Midge sighed but nodded. He was right, after all. It was a very long letter. “Yeah. I’ll read it later.”

Susie coughed dramatically from the other side of the table and it seemed like one of those things where she coughed to cover up a word but couldn’t think of the right word so just coughed obnoxiously loudly.

“So…how’s everyone back home?” Midge asked.

Joel nodded slowly. “Good. Everything’s pretty much normal.”

“That’s all you have for me? Good?”

“What do you want me to say, Midge?”

Midge sighed. “Susie?”

Susie looked surprised to be dumped on and stopped mid-chew. “Uh…” She started. “Yeah. Okay. Just booked an actress.”

“An actress?”

“Yeah, I know. But she was doing strip clubs and her talent was really going to waste. I know I said no actors but I really think there could be something with this one.”

“Well, that’s great.” Midge said, happy that there was at least some news.

“Mei comes around a lot.” Ethan muttered into his food, not looking at his parents.

Midge nodded. This wasn’t anything new. Mei came around often. She was a good family friend. “Oh yeah, how’s she doing?” She asked her son.

Ethan pondered for a moment. “She looks tired and sad.”

“What? Why?”

“She’s working a lot.” Joel interrupted to Susie’s scoff. “New job and everything.”

“Well, is she okay? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“She’s fine.” Joel insisted. “It’s just work. She’ll get used to it. It’ll pass.”

“I like Mei.” Esther said. Again, a vital contribution to the conversation.

“So do I.” Susie said. “She’s not the type to get screwed over.”

That last line was said very pointedly towards Joel and Midge frowned, looking from one person to the other as Susie eyed him. Joel shook his head and focused on his food.

“I like the quiet curly one.” Esther said, bringing all of them out of their reverie.

“What was that, sweetie?” Midge asked.

“The quiet curly one. He was the only one who shook my hand. Like a grown up.”

Oh, shit. Lenny. She was talking about Lenny. Midge wondered how her daughter had made a connection between Mei and Lenny and thought that it was somehow topical to bring him up. But there we go.

“Who, Lenny Bruce?” Susie asked, nudging the child next to her. Esther nodded enthusiastically.

“The others were loud.”

“Some would say Lenny was too quiet.” Joel said spitefully. “Right, Midge? Midge? Midge?”

Midge’s chair scraped as she got up. “I’m going to go powder my nose.” She whispered and quickly dashed away from the table.

**********

“So this is the definition of ‘a bloke week’?” Barry questioned.

Ever since Tim suggested the idea yesterday, he had pretty much been non stop enthusiastic about it. Right at this very moment in time, they were sitting in a crowded club drinking alcohol, a colour that Lenny did not trust. The music was blaring so most of what they said had to be pretty much yelled. There was an upside, though, because it meant that no one dared come near them or hadn’t even noticed them.

“No, this is the definition of kickstarting a bloke week.” Tim explained before quickly downing a shot of orange. Lenny cringed.

“Al was right to sit this out.” He said under his breath.

“I heard that.” Tim accused. “This is all for you, arsehole.”

“And why is that again?” Barry asked, causing Lenny to bang his head on the table and groan into the wood.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Tim said way too loudly into his ear. “And drink.”

“I’m not going near that stuff.” Lenny replied instantly.

“Why are we telling Lenny to drink?” Barry interjected.

“Because alcohol cures all pains.”

“False.”

“Alright, it numbs it for a moment. And we can’t have our dear old Lenny dragging his feet around all week. Not to mention what it will do to the show.”

Something in what Tim said made it seem to click in Barry’s brain and he let out a long “Ooooh. I see.”

“Don’t say a word.” Lenny ordered. “I’ve already heard enough of it from Harris.”

“I said nothing.” Barry raised his hands in surrender.

“And I told you nothing you didn’t already know.” Tim replied.

“Exactly! Which is why it is so irritating. I don’t understand why you two feel the need to babysit me now that Midge is away for a while. We’ll see her tomorrow anyway.”

“Yeah. For the show.” Tim said solemnly. “But don’t forget both her husband and her manager will be watching tomorrow. Who do you think she’s going to go out with afterwards?”

“...fuck.” Lenny groaned. “No, this is ridiculous! It’s been two days, why am I…not that I’m…fuck.”

There was a pause before Tim slid the orange shot over to him which Lenny took instantly.

“I don’t think much of that husband of hers.” Barry repeated once again causing him to laugh bitterly.

**********

“So…are we finally going to talk about you running off for the hills yesterday at the brief mention of Lenny Bruce?”

The kids were sleeping and Joel was on the phone with his parents, leaving Midge and Susie quietly talking in Midge and Joel’s room. Careful not to wake the kids but keep an eye on them.

“I did not run for the hills.” Midge counteracted.

“That is the fastest I have ever seen you move and I have seen you at shoe sales.”

Midge huffed.

“Miriam, what is going on?” There was a look on Susie’s face that Midge didn’t see often. Concern. “What aren't you telling me? You have to tell me everything. I’m your manager. It’s in my job description.”

“I don’t know.” Midge shrugged. “Worlds colliding, I guess. I knew it would be weird but…”

Susie frowned at her. “Should we not have come? Honestly, I’m starting to think so if you’re going to be acting like this.”

“I’m not acting like anything!”

“You’re acting like that time James got to perform at that theatre you wanted to.”

“Well, it wasn’t fair, Susie!”

“That’s showbiz, suck it up. Tell me what the fuck is going on with Lenny Bruce!”

Midge said nothing and her foot started tapping against the carpet. “I don’t know.” She mumbled.

Susie was silent for a moment before clapping her on the shoulder. “I want to get to know him.”

“What? Why?”

“To see if he’s any better than the prick down the hall.”

“Susie, what…”

“Is he any better than the prick down the hall?”

“That prick is my husband.”

“Is he?”

“I’m not going to have this conversation, Susie. Now can we please just…I don’t know. Go over the set or something. You’re my manager, aren’t you?”

Susie frowned at her. “Yeah. I’m your manager.”

“Good. So manage.”

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing, Miriam.”

**********

The first show in a new place was always the most busy and the most daunting. It was getting used to the stage, the dressing rooms, the smell. There was always a certain smell. In the stairwell, however, it always consisted of piss so at least that was a comforting constant.

Midge had arrived later than the others, having previously promised Al that she would be on time. And she was. Just not…as on time as the others.

“I knew we should have met at the hotel.” Al grumbled.

“Relax, Al, she’s here.” Barry defended her as Midge guiltily sat down. Tim and Lenny were playing cards on the other side of the room. Beside Lenny were his two pieces of paper that looked, from a distance, more even than they had been before. They hadn’t greeted her yet.

“You can’t repeat this tomorrow. Understand, Maisel?” Al said sternly.

“I understand. I’m sorry, Al.”

Al nodded slowly. “Right. I’m going to let them know you’re here.”

“Sorry!” She called after him as he left the room.

“So…” Barry said slowly, turning to her. “How were the days with the family? We missed you.”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure you were glad to be rid of me.”

When Barry raised an eyebrow at this, she carried on.

“But, no, it was really nice to see them again. I missed them so much, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“The kids were gutted that they weren’t allowed to see the show.”

“Tell them next year.”

“If I do that then they won’t forget and I’ll be forced into it.”

“What about your husband?” Barry asked.

“What about him?”

“Is he coming tonight?” As if he didn’t already know.

“Yes.” Midge smiled. “He and Susie are coming tonight. And then after that, Susie will be at every show. He won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Well, this is Susie’s job. And Joel hardly wants to see the same show every day over and over.”

Barry took a moment to reply. “Fair enough. Hey, are you two going to acknowledge Midge any time soon?” He called to the two on the other side of the room.

“We’re in the middle of a very intense game.” Tim replied.

“Who’s winning?” Midge called.

“I have no idea.” Tim said confidently.

When the curtains rose and Barry went on stage to do his thing, Tim and Lenny moved from their spot on the other side and came to join her. She was suddenly very aware of how close Lenny was sitting.

“Here we go then.” Tim said. “Only two places left after this. I suggest we make the most of it while we can.”

**********

“Good evening, Montana.” Midge projected into the microphone after Barry announced her. “How are we all tonight?” The audience cheered a wonderful response.

“Perfect. Now, tonight, I would like to talk about something very close to my heart. Ice creams.” There was a confused laughter and she held up a hand to make her case. “Now, listen, listen to what I have to say. Ice creams are dangerous things because they have to be in the perfect condition to be made and they have to stay in that perfect condition or else it’s all destroyed. And the second you take them out of their perfect condition, it’s a rush to save it, to get what you paid for before it all goes to shit. I pondered this when I saw my children the other day at the ice cream van and thought ‘what a peculiar treat for kids’ because 50% of the time it ends in the ice cream being destroyed and a whole heap of tears.

It’s a guessing game, really. Is it going to go okay today, who knows? But it is worth the risk. Always. Because, let’s face it, nothing is better than an ice cream. Well…yeah, no. Nothing is better than an ice cream. And there’s all these different flavours and you go through phases, don’t you of which is best. When I was a kid, it was strawberry. Now that changed pretty quickly. When I was a teen, it was vanilla. And I thought that vanilla would be my favourite forever. I’m serious. It was me and vanilla until the end of the line, baby. Nothing could get in our way. We were running into the sunset. But even vanilla can melt. So you have to scramble to save it and you don’t always and then you’re just staring at this sick-like goop on your hands and the floor. Especially vanilla, which looks far more like vomit than the others. The best thing when it’s in prime condition turns out to be the worst when it all starts to go wrong.

Anyway, that’s my ice cream philosophy. I thought I would just share that with you all today. Get your intellectual sides raging, you know? I mean, pack your bags Socrates, there's a mother of Philosophy now.”

When her set was finished, Midge bounced off the stage and straight into Lenny as Barry passed them.

“Oh.” She said, just about avoiding slamming into his chest. “You have a habit of standing in the wings for my performances, you know that?”

Lenny shrugged. “Why watch it on TV when I can get the full experience?”

Midge grinned at him. “Well now I’ve just got to see what all the hype is about. Don’t think I’m going back to the dressing room any time soon.”

“Wouldn't have it any other way.” Lenny smirked as his name was called.

“Break a leg.” Midge smiled as he walked on stage.

In five weeks, Midge wondered why she hadn’t once thought of watching Lenny from the wings. Because he was right. There was a whole different feel to it. And thinking back to her all those years ago, watching him in the strip club, she couldn’t help but smile. Past Midge would freak. To be honest, present Midge was freaking quite a lot as well.

**********

After the show, they all gathered outside the dressing rooms awaiting Joel and Susie to join them. Again, Midge found half of her brain distracted by the fact that she and Lenny were almost touching arms. There was no reason for them to be. They just were.

“First show down. Now we can breathe.” Tim grinned.

“You always say that.” Midge said softly.

“And I always will.”

“There she is!” Susie’s voice cut through the air as she practically ran up the stairs to get to them. Joel trailed after her. “Look at you, girl. You were incredible.”

“Thank you, Susie.”

“I have notes.”

“You always do. Tell me later.”

“Of course.” Susie then looked at the other three and added a quick. “You guys were great too.”

“Bless you, Susie.” Barry said with a smile.

By now, Joel had reached them and leaned forward to peck Midge on the cheek, naturally wedging himself between Midge and Lenny. Lenny moved backwards silently.

“What was all that ice cream stuff about?” Joel whispered to his wife. Midge stilled. Um…

“So what are you guys doing now?” Susie asked the comedians, interrupting her and saving the day.

“Well, we usually go for a drink. Some food.” Tim shrugged. “After we sign autographs.”

“Sounds great!” Susie clapped her hands before spinning towards Lenny. “You.” She pointed at him. “Favourite film?”

Lenny’s eyes widened to saucepans. “Um, I don’t watch many films.”

Susie narrowed her eyes at him in contrast and hummed.

“Okay!” Midge announced loudly. “We should really greet our adoring fans. We’ll meet you guys after? We’ll go out?”

“Wait, all of us?” Joel asked.

“Yes, Joel. All of us. All six of us.”

“Seven if Al wants to come.” Barry piped up.

“Seven if Al wants to come.” Midge repeated. “Is that okay with you?”

Joel put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, sure.”

“Perfect.” Midge bounced slightly, grabbing Lenny’s arm and leading him out of the area. Tim and Barry followed after them, sniggering.

Notes:

Thanks, guys. Let me know if you like the two perspectives thing. I'm still on the fence about it but might do more. Till next time!