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The Hot Mess That is the Doctor’s Family

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"Ok, I have some errands to run so we can all meet back up here in a few hours." Rory Williams, better known as Rip Hunter to the Legends, set down the Waverider just outside of a small Scottish town in the country.

"What sort of errands Englishman?" Mick asked suspiciously.

"That is none of your business Mr. Rory." Rory said shortly.

"Ehh, I was jus' asking." Mick shrugged. "I was going to take Haircut here out on a date." He jerked his thumb at a blushing Ray.

"Well, if that is all." Rory said and strode out of the Waverider.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Jax asked when Rory had disappeared from sight.

"Well I don't know about you but I have someone I need to see." Sara said and stood up. "Lisa, Nyssa you want to come with me?"

"Of course beloved." Nyssa smiled.

"Why not? It's not like I have anything else to do." Lisa shrugged.

"And what about the rest of us? What would you have us do? Cool our heels here on the Waverider?" Len drawled.

"I could warm you up love." Constantine smirked at his boyfriend.

"What is it kids these days say? Get a room." Stein interjected.

"Oh I intend to." Constantine winked.

"What did he just say?" Hartley Rathaway signed at his boyfriend. His hearing aides were still broken from the fight the previous day and he hadn't gotten around to fixing them yet.

"Trust me you don't want to know." Julian assured him.

"Well this is cute and all but we're going to be late." Sara said and pulled her girlfriends out of the Waverider.

Shortly after that Mick dragged Ray out of the Waverider. And everyone else went back to what they were doing. Meanwhile Rory had arrived at his destination. It was a house with a door; a blue door. A TARDIS blue door to be precise. He had barely raised his hand to knock when the door swung open.

"Get in here Rory Williams!" Amelia Pond exclaimed and pulled a startled Rory inside before slamming the door closed.

"Who is it?" Mana Williams, their wife asked as she came out of the kitchen.

"Our husband. I was stating to think that you forgot about us." Amy said to Rory.

"I'm sorry, I've been a bit busy-" Rory retorted.

"Protecting the time stream, blah, blah, blah. Yeah we know." Amy interrupted him.

"I think we will be going." Someone said as they exited the kitchen. "We've wasted enough of your time. I really thought that my mom said that she would be here."

"Oh, of course-" Mana turned to the woman.

"Rip? What are you doing here?" Sara asked incredulously.

"Sara?" Rory said in confusion.

"Beloved what is it?" Nyssa asked as she emerged from the kitchen with Lisa in tow. And then when she caught sight of Rory she stopped short. "Captain Hunter?"

But before anyone could say anything else the was a bright flash and a crackle of light. When the light faded it revealed two men. "You," Nyssa snarled when she set eyes on one of the men. 

"Me." Jack Harkness smirked. "Have you met my husband Ianto?"

Sara opened her mouth to retort, or to attack, but before she could do either there was another bright flash and a crackle. When it cleared River Song was standing there shaking sparks from her hair. "Sorry Mum, got caught up in another ship crash. Don't worry, no Weeping Angels this time. I did finally get that date the Doctor had been promising me and then putting off. Just thought I would pop in before I head off on another dig. I'm off to a library this time. It's very mysterious. And you know how much I love a good mystery." She said and then her eyes landed on Rory and Mana. " Hey dad, Mum."

"Mom?!" Sara exclaimed in shock. And then of course outside of the house there was an unmistakeable wheezing noise.

"Well, hello sweetie." River grinned sharply.