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I'm Sailing Right Behind

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Laudna woke before Imogen and Fearne, but this wasn't outside of the norm for the roommates. Laudna preferred to wake up before Imogen and Fearne because it gave her some time to think and reflect on her life, and what was going on with her life. Normally, she wasn’t one to dwell on the sad parts of her life. Her sense of humor was dark, but this didn't mean that she enjoyed reflecting on the sad parts of her life. Before meeting up with Imogen several years ago, she didn’t have many people from her past, family, or friends for that matter, that she cared about, or that were even around much anymore. Imogen had shown her friendship and what love could be. Imogen had also turned Laudna onto talking about her feelings, and her emotions because that was the best way to cope, and get the love and support she needed during the bad times, Sometimes Laudna wrote down her feelings in a notebook Imogen had given her before she started talking about her feelings with others, just so she could grasp what she was feeling at that moment.

Laudna went over to her desk to grab her notebook and pen to work out what was going on in her head. The nightmares of the night she lost her family when she was young still haunted her, and the woman behind the attack she could still see her so clearly in her head, and she wanted her and the memories of the past gone. Laudna opened to a blank page and started writing. She had opened up about her past to anyone, even Imogen.

The night I want to forget

I was at a party with my parents and my family. We were told that I could study magic with the very powerful sorceress who lived there and that she was accepting new students. This is one moment that I wish I could forget because she was so nice to me at the start. She was warm and welcoming. What my parents and I didn’t know was the fact that they, and most of the guests at that party, would never live to see another day, and this still haunts me to this day. I was saved, but the people I loved the most were not, and I still miss them to this day. I want to forget the pain the night I lost my family caused me, but also, I would like my family and friends back in my life.

Reading the words written on paper, Laudna felt cleansed because this was the first time she had written anything like this in her life, and she was being open and honest with herself. Nothing was dark humor about what she was writing, it was just the way that she was feeling, and the way she needed to heal, and start the healing process was talking about what happened to the people in her life.

“Good Morning Laudna my love.” Imogen looked over at Laudna and she looked lost in thought. She didn't want to interrupt because sometimes Laudna being lost in thought meant that she was working through some inner emotions and inner demons she had going on in her head. However, sometimes when Laudna was deep in thought, it was a bad sign because that meant that she would shut people out, which was not what Imogen wanted. Sometimes just talking sweetly and quietly to Laudna was all she needed to pull her out of her head and bring her back to reality. Adding my love to the end of the greeting was Imogen’s way of reminding her that she would love her forever. Imogen looked at Laudna, waiting to hear what she was going to say to her.

“Good morning Imogen darling.” Laudna smiled at Imogen, she didn’t want to bring up the past yet. Even though Imogen knew about her, and how much of her life she didn’t know everything, Laudna wasn’t ready to talk about everything even to Imogen. Laudna wanted to talk about other things, and forget about the past for a while. “Are you feeling okay this morning Imogen?” Laudna looked at her hoping to take the focus off her for a little.

Imogen looked at Laudna. If Laudna wasn’t ready to talk, Imogen didn’t want to be pushy if she didn’t want to talk about things yet Imogen didn’t want to focus on Laudna talking about things yet. “I am yes. Thankfully, I have had none of those dreams or nightmares last night, and that makes me happy.” Imogen smiled because she didn’t have any of the dreams or nightmares last night. They scared her because she didn’t understand why they were happening and what they were trying to say to her.

Laudna knew how the dreams made Imogen feel and so she was glad that she didn’t have them last night. She wanted to help Imogen look for answers and she was curious as to why Imogen was having these dreams as well. “I’m glad that you didn’t have those dreams last night, Imogen. It is curious, though, as to why you have them and what they mean. I’m sure we can do some more research for our benefit, and to help other people.”

There was a knock on the door, and they weren't sure what was happening. Both Imogen and Laudna panicked. They shouldn’t have been, because they were home, but life had dealt them some bad hands, so now they had an irrational fear at every knock on the door.

“Good morning ladies, breakfast will be ready in 10 minutes.” Dorian left after telling them that they would all be meeting soon. Dorian didn’t want to make the ladies nervous or anything, he just wanted to pass the message along to them.

“Thank you, Dorian,” Imogen replied, not sure if Dorian was still there. Imogen looked at Launda not sure if she was going to say anything else. “Should we get ready for the day, or at least make sure Fearne knows we’re eating soon?” Imogen looked at Laudna, not sure what she was going to say to this.

“Yes, to both. I want to make sure that Fearne goes down with us to make sure that she eats breakfast.” Laudna worried about Imogen and Fearne more than she worried about the men in the house because that was the way it always was for her. Even when she was young, she worried about the women in her life more than the men, because, in a way, they could fend for themselves more than the women in her life.

“I’m up sorry. Good Morning to both of you.” Fearne greeted. Fearne had been with Laudna and Imogen for a bit now, and she was seeing the two of them as girlfriends. They all cared about each other, and they would all do anything for each other. Fearne had been alone in her life for so long, and now she had friends, not only friends but girlfriends that she could think of as sisters.

“No problem, we just wanted to make sure that you heard that Dorian said that breakfast would be ready soon.” Imogen watched the look in Fearne's eye at the mention of Dorian. She knew that Fearne had feelings for him and that she wanted to take her shot and see what he said if he asked her on a date. Imogen was putting on her skirt and finishing her hair.

“Fearne, you need to take your shot with Dorian and just see what he says.” Laudna knew that she was being blunt right now, but Laudna wanted to make sure that both Imogen and she knew about the look in Fearne’s eye when Dorian was mentioned. It didn’t even have to be a mention of Dorian’s name, it was just the look in her eye when he walked into a room.

“Look, I get what you’re saying and I hear you. I’m just not sure what I want to say to him.” Fearne didn’t want to admit the next part because it made her sad, and she had spent years of her life not bringing up the past or things that made her sad in her life. “I don’t want him to say no because I want this to happen for me.” Admitting this was something that Fearne wasn’t something Fearne wanted to do, but at least she was being honest with her close friends right now. “I also still don’t know how I wanted to approach the situation.” Again, she wasn’t sure if this was something she wanted to admit, but she did know that she felt good about admitting her doubts to her friends.

“I understand where you’re coming from here, but Imogen and I can help you. We can help work out what you’re going to say to him.” Laudna said while putting on her boots. She didn’t know how Dorian felt about Fearne, but she did have a feeling she knew what he was going to say.

“We can because we both want this to happen for you.” Imogen thought of Fearne as another sister that she always wanted but never got. “Also, because we love you, and we know that Dorian will make you happy.” Imogen thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t talk to him in front of the other members of the house, though.” The professions of love didn't need to happen in front of the entire house. Things rarely worked out well when those sorts of things happened. “We should get going before the boys eat all of our breakfast food, especially the bacon.”

“Oooh yes, we absolutely should get going before the boys eat all the bacon, yes.” Laudna got up and started walking towards the door.

“Are you ready, Fearne?” Imogen only asked because she wanted to make sure that Fearne didn’t want to talk about her and Dorian anymore.

“I’m ready, yes.” Fearne got up and waited for Imogen before walking towards the door.

Laudna opened the door, and all three women made their way out the door and down the stairs.

*******
“Anyway, like I was saying, I think we need some sort of family meetings at least twice a week. It makes it so everyone checks in with each other, and we can make sure that all the people who live here are doing ok. Plus, we need to keep a check on Imogen’s dreams, just to make sure she’s doing ok.” Ashton was finishing what he was saying, not paying attention to if the ladies had come into the room.

 

Imogen shuttered at the mention of my dreams. She didn’t want to have those dreams, and she didn’t want to talk about those dreams with the rest of the house. Those dreams were mostly about her mother, who she had never met, and the farmhouse she grew up in. She could write to her father and ask him the questions going on in her mind, but she didn't want to unpack that can of worms if it wasn’t needed. This was one of those moments when Imogen wished she didn’t have the dreams in the first place because she didn’t want the house worrying about her. She knew her friends loved her. She just didn’t want her friends to worry about her when they had some enormous things they needed to worry about.

Ashton turned around when he heard the footsteps. “Shit, Imogen, I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were here.” Ashton was feeling worse than he had in weeks. He didn’t want Imogen to hear what he said about her.

“Ashton, It’s ok. I know what you’re saying is out of love.” Imogen didn’t have a brother, and Ashton was like a brother from the time they met.” Imogen knew that Ashton didn’t have the best life either and that the two of them had that in common.

“I just want to make sure you’re doing ok, Imogen. I do care about you, and I love you like a sister.” Ashton was feeling bad, and he knew he shouldn’t have said what he said about her without her in the room.

“I mean, the family meetings twice a week just to check in with everyone isn’t a bad idea. I just don’t feel like it needs to be all about Imogen and her dreams.” Fearne knew that Ashton’s heart was in the right place, but he just went about saying what he said in the wrong way. She took her seat next to Oyrm, with Dorian on her other side.

“Yes, meetings where we just talk about how we’re feeling, and what’s going on, but not really with a focus on Imogen and her dreams if she doesn’t want it to be that way.” Orym was trying to lighten the mood, he knew that Ashton should have maybe waited until Imogen was in the room.

 

Orym wanted to change the subject, and make sure that Imogen didn’t have any dreams last night, and that nothing else happened last night. “So, is everything good? Did anything happen last night?” Oyrm wasn’t sure this was the best way to approach this topic, but now that it was out in the air, he wanted to make sure that things were all good with Imogen and everyone else.

Imogen didn’t like the focus on just her and her dreams. She knew that Oyrm was asking out of love, and just to make sure that she didn’t need help or anything, she just wanted to say things were fine because, in all honesty, things were fine with her right now. “No, I didn’t have the dreams last night. I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Imogen knew that she was going to get more questions asked because again, her friends loved her, and they wanted to make sure that she was doing ok right now.

Laudna looked at Imogen, just trying to make sure that she was being honest with everyone. When questioned about her dreams earlier this morning, Imogen had a similar response, and so now she was confident that Imogen didn't have any of her dreams last night. Laudna also knew that Imogen didn’t like the focus being on her, and her dreams because she didn’t like her dreams being the only thing the group worried about. “I’m glad to hear that, but you will let us know when you have them again? Everyone here just wants to help you, and make sure you’re doing ok with everything going on in your life right now.” Laudna looked at Imogen, not sure if Imogen knew she was meaning these words, but she was being genuine right now. Laudna was a member of the group who could be sarcastic at times, but her tone right now was genuine.

Orym had asked what Ashton wanted to ask, and what he should have asked when he saw Imogen in the room. He was just worried about her and wasn’t sure how to approach the topic of Imogen’s dreams. “I’m glad to hear that, Imogen. Yes, I also just want to make sure that you’re doing ok.

 

Dorian knew that Imogen had dreams, of course, but he didn’t know the extent of them as much as the others did. Imogen was a friend, and he wanted to make sure she was doing ok. “I’m glad to hear that. I just want to make sure we find the answers we want, and that we can all work together to help you.” Dorian knew that Imogen needed help and that the help she needed would be more than what they could give her, but they would also need Imogen to dig deep so they could get the answers they wanted.

Orym wasn't sure what to say now that everyone else had spoken up. He also wanted to make sure that Imogen was still doing well, despite her having her dreams. He wanted to make sure she knew that he was there for her if she needed to talk about anything. “I’m glad you have had none of the dreams, Imogen, but I’m here if you ever need to talk. This was his way of letting her know he was here if she needed to talk. Not that he was expecting her to tell him everything about her dreams, but if she could open up about any parts of her dreams, it would be a help for everyone.

 

Imogen knew that the spotlight was on her right now, and she didn’t enjoy this feeling or want this feeling. She needed to make sure that her friends knew she was doing ok. Hopefully, when she had dreams again, she would want to talk about them with her friends. “I appreciate you all, but I didn’t have any dreams last night. I’m fine for now, I am.” Imogen was being genuine right now, and she hoped that she was being believable to her friends.

“I believe Imogen will let us know when she needs to talk to us.” FCG was in Imogen’s court because he could understand why she was hiding things from the group in how she was.

Imogen nodded as FCG spoke. If anyone understood why Imogen might be hiding some things in her life, it was FCG. Imogen and FCG also had some things in common. They both tried to remain positive, and they both had things in the past that they wanted to hide, or didn’t want to discuss with other members of the house. “Thank you for understanding FCG. Yes, I will let you all know when I have another dream. Hopefully, we can use it as a clue and can get some answers.

While everyone was eating, also wasn’t the time for updates on people's lives. Sure, Ashton cared about Imogen, and he wanted to make sure that she didn’t have any of the dreams last night, but they should have been doing updates, and this conversion from the couch. Now that the conversion had started, it was a little too late to stop the conversion from rolling now. “And Everyone else was ok last night. Laudna? Fearne?” Ashton looked to Laudna and Fearne because he knew that both of them were also prone to not sleeping well at night. Ashton knew this was due to things in the past, and past experiences, but he was just trying to make sure things were going ok for the two of them as well.

“Last night was fine for me. I slept fine. Thanks for asking Ashton.” Fearne knew why Ashton was asking, but she also wanted to let him know that she could handle herself and look after herself. “Did you sleep well last night, Ashton?” Fearne was both trying to get the attention off of her and check in with Ashton at the same time.

 

Laudna simply wanted to give Ashton a death glare. She knew why he was worried, and that she appreciated it, but she didn’t think that he needed to worry about her as much. She could handle herself. Before she met up with Bell's Hells, she had done that for years. “I slept fine last night. Thanks for asking, Ashton. “ Laudna was glad that Fearne had asked Ashton how he slept last night because it would take the attention off the women in the house for a bit.

Honestly, Ashton should have been expecting this. The women in the house didn’t like the attention on them all that much. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that knowing that Imogen could hear me.” Ashton would note this, and not say anything that personal about the women of the house again.

They filled the rest of breakfast with pleasant chatter and friendly conversation.