Work Header

Eggman Gets Forklift Certified and Dies

Work Text:

Eggman has finally had enough of Sonic's shit and has quit being evil. He keeps being beaten and he is honestly sick of it. So he announced to the world that he is done terrorizing them and has officially quit being evil. Sonic obviously didn't believe him and thought he was saying he was done being evil to hatch a plan. So he went up to his main base of operations only to find nothing attacking him or anything.



Sonic cries from cringe and not being a sigma male like Eggman who has his forklift certificate. Tails is a sigma male as he is also fork certified. Kuckel is arrested for having a fork in his house illegally.

“Aw shit here we go again.” Said Shadow the depresshog.

“CJ! YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE FOOL!” Shouted Big Smoke atop his trust Phill Swift.

“Phill Swift, here for Poppeyes, chicken, sandwich.” Phill Swift said.

Suddenly a cry was heard from a large round man in a red shirt that barely fit.

“WHERE IS MY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP!” Cried Niko Avocado. Who proceeded to cry as his Poppeyes chicken sandwich was dropped onto the ground by the Engineer who yelled.


“Aw kick fuckin ass!” A nerd in a white shirt said.

Suddenly a bunch of Engineers got into the base somehow and stole the forklift. Then the Engineers have been cloned and proceed to summon Satan himself as a sacrifice for YEEEEdom.

“Start Prayin boah!” Engineer said to Eggman who then exploded because he lost his Forklift certification and had no money for heavy’s depression pills.

“I have no money.” Heavy sobbed and then proceeded to die.

A nuke was dropped by a stupid dumbass fucking cunt fuck dipshit fuck cuck. FUCK. sonic. The. hedgehog.


“Incredible. Incredible. Wa, wa, ah.” Wario exclaimed to his Tiny Desk Engineer. Who proceeded to murder him.

The Tiny Desk Engineer gave a small evil laugh as Wario was killed. Tiny Desk Engineer pressed the nuke button again to make sure everyone was dead including himself. And his last words were. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-”

The end.