She wasn’t sure how long she had been staring out the window. She honestly could have missed her stop at this point, and she wouldn’t have noticed; let alone even care. The lights flashed by her quickly and she watched the movements darkness that she passed. Sometimes it would slow down, the air compression would let out as the doors of the bus she sat on opened. But it was letting off more people than getting on, and at 2 in the morning she wasn’t surprised. Was it even 2 in the morning? Last time she checked it was. Her eyes caught sight of a couple outside of the 7/11 out the window beside her making out. She watched them touch each other like they didn’t care who saw. But she saw.
Lexa looked back into the bus. The bright lights made her head spin and she was, more than anything, so happy no one else was around her. Did she smell? Was it obvious? Who knew. Anya told her she would be fine, she knew how to get home. Her eyes focussed to the blue seats and the low light that made everything look like it was in a movie. Her mouth was a desert. She couldn’t wait to get home to drink all of the water she could before she fell asleep. Or drown herself. At home she had food too. Maybe she would made a grilled cheese. Or maybe eat that box of oreos she had been stashing away all week. She saw lights move passed her again. They were bright, but in the darkness it made them easy to look at. Easier than the light in the bus that made her feel dirty. She looked out the window again.
She brought her hand up to her mouth and breathed out into it. Maybe her breathe did smell. She could smell it. Maybe it was just her hands. She sniffed at her fingertips. Okay they definitely did smell. It was strong, and it was burnt. She recognized it like it had been a minute ago. Outside the world passed by again. Fast food places, and gas stations, and bars with people stumbling out who probably had a much more exciting night than her. Though she couldn’t really complain. She had told Anya she was ready to try it, and although she was somewhat lying to herself, at this point she definitely didn’t regret it. She saw some young girl puke into a garbage can. Her friend was holding her hair and comforting her, but they both had tear stained eyes. Lexa’s eyes felt like they were on fire. Not from tears like them, instead from the potent red bloodshot she knew that she wore.
Lexa jumped forward. Her heart raced for the few seconds, thinking she was going to fall on her face. She caught herself. She realized that the bus had just stopped abruptly. It forced her to look back into the bus itself. The metal box that she sat in. It was stuffy. She realized that she was completely alone on it; everyone else had gotten off. Until now, when her eyes searched to the front where a girl nearly tripped on. Lexa was sat at the very back, and when she looked to where the girl had entered it looked like a tunnel. Or like that one scene in The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo looked down the road while the other hobbits picked mushrooms before they were attacked by the Ringwraiths. It seemed long and narrow, and she remembered how funny Frodo’s face looks in that scene. She noticed the smile splayed across her face. Did that just appear? Or had she been grinning the whole time?
Her eyes refocused and she saw a blonde head of hair. The girl was breathing fast and had fumbled getting the change for the driver out of her small purse. Lexa watched her fix her very short dress and make her way to the back. Lexa knew she wasn’t being subtle. This girl was attractive. She was alone with her. And Lexa was very very gay. Anya constantly reminds her of that. Especially since she’s never subtle. But Lexa is not in the right state of mind. Not to be around a pretty girl.
When the girl was halfway to the back, she finally looked up and saw Lexa. Her eyes were bright blue and Lexa shivered. Was she an angel? She looked like an angel. She looked like she glowed, even under the low bus lights that still made Lexa feel like she was covered in bugs that itched her skin. But she still glowed. Her short dress was black and hardly left anything to the imagination. Lexa felt herself get hot. In the face. She swears it was just her face. But it might not have been just her face. She couldn’t tell. Especially not after the angel smiled at her. Lexa thought maybe she had imagined it. She knew that she was pretty far gone at this point. Maybe she smiled at someone else. Maybe she recognized someone on the bus. That had to be it. Lexa couldn’t look away. The girl kept the smile on her face. Lexa was on fire. The girl was getting closer. She was clumsy, and her face looked a little too happy. She was drunk. Wait. You’re the only one on the bus.
She didn’t sit down beside Lexa. Thank God. That would have been a disaster. But this could actually be worse. She sat down in the seats opposite her. Lexa was still on fire. She wondered if it was maybe just from being high. She remembered how much she smelt. Or that she thought she smelt. She looked back out the window. She couldn’t look at the girl. The angel. She was too gay and she was too high. She wondered if maybe being high gives you heightened senses. Like a superhero. Because she most definitely could feel the angel, the girl, the drunk girl, staring at her. Lexa could feel it in her skin. It crawled and burned. But it felt good. She needed to look at her again. She had forgotten what her face looked like already. Maybe when she looked over, the girl wouldn’t be looking back and she could get a good look. Lexa turned her head. Her heart raced. She was met with blue eyes. Fuck.
She didn’t know what she looked like. Apparently it was funny. The girl laughed, and Lexa’s heart did back flips.
Lexa shot her head back out the window. Maybe if she ignored her, the angel, the girl, would go away. Maybe this was a hallucination anyway. Does marijuana make you hallucinate? She probably should have asked Anya.
Buildings and lights passed by like they had before. But before they had distracted her. But now she definitely couldn’t stop thinking of the angel, the girl, staring at her. Another gas station passed her. She didn’t recognize it. Had she missed her stop? She didn’t know where she was. She knew this would happen. She should call Anya. There was a red light she guessed. The gas station was still beside her and they weren’t moving. She remembered the gas station she passed earlier. How much earlier had that been? It felt like it was minutes ago. But maybe it was a lot longer than that. She thought of the gas station, and the couple. How they touched each other. How the darkness shielded them, and how they thought no one would see. But Lexa saw.
She got hot again.
Was the girl still there? Lexa didn’t know how long she had been on the bus with her. Maybe she had gotten off while Lexa was looking away. Maybe Lexa should check. She breathed in. She was making this way more dramatic than it needed to be. Like a movie. She wanted to watch a movie. Focus Lexa. Was the girl still there?: that is the question. Did she just question into a Shakespeare quote? Focus
Lexa turned her head. Her body froze. The angel - the girl, was sitting right next to her. How had she not felt her move? How had she not heard her? Apparently her super powers weren’t as powerful as she thought they were. Nevertheless, she was right next to her.
“Having a good night?” Lexa couldn’t tell her if her voice was naturally that light, or this girl was so drunk that she was speaking in a higher tone. Probably the latter. She slurred her words too. Only slightly. But Lexa heard it. She smelt tequila. And it was strong. Was this real?
Lexa realized she had been asked a question. She couldn’t feel her voice. Had she lost it? It felt like it had run away from her, or was stolen by this girl. That was the dumbest thought she had ever had. Focus Lexa a cute girl is talking to you.
“Ye-yes,” Lexa stuttered it out, she felt hot again but this time it was embarrassment. She’s going to explode soon from this much heat, “and you?”
The girl shrugged. Her smile was wide and her eyes were happy. “When you’re the hottest girl at the bar, you get a lot of boys buying you drinks,” she said it so nonchalantly. She knows how hot she is. Lexa felt her stomach turn. That is so hot. “It’s a great way to wash away the night.”
Lexa refocused her eyes on her. The girl seemed in such a light and happy mood, but her words didn’t seem to match up. She didn’t want to intrude, she didn’t know this girl. But obviously something was wrong. What if it’s serious? Should she help this girl get home? She didn’t even know where she was how could she do that? She didn’t know what to say back.
“I’m Lexa,” her voice still shook. Or maybe she was just imagining it shaking. Who knew anymore. She felt slightly less high. But she still felt a buzz in her head and the artificial lift in her body.
“Hello Lexa, I’m Clarke,” Clarke. It was the name of an angel too. Clarke was just staring at her. Lexa was just staring back. Their eyes were locked and there was no letting go. Clarke was smiling as sweet as summer at her. Lexa couldn’t tell if she was still grinning or not. Her mouth wasn’t apart of her body anymore.
Clarke was an angel. She had to be. There was no way she was real. It was impossible.
Lexa was flying. She was dreaming. Maybe she was asleep back in her apartment. Maybe she had gotten home fine and fallen asleep and this was all a dream. Clarke broke the silence.
“This is my stop,” Lexa’s heart sank. Obviously this girl was much better at handling her liquor than Lexa was with being high if she knew where how to get home and she was this drunk. Clarke gathered her purse. Lexa watched her movements, taking in what she could.
Clarke looked back up at Lexa after she pulled the cord to for the next stop. “You’re cute Lexa, I liked talking to you,” Lexa’s heart started racing again. What was going to happen. She had no idea what to expect. She should probably expect nothing. But Clarke thought she was cute. “Here,” Clarke reached into her purse and grabbed a pen. She picked up Lexa’s hand. Lexa felt the soft skin of Clarke’s fingertips and she melted. She didn’t even realize Clarke was writing on her until she let go of her. Lexa looked down at the fresh ink to see Clarke’s name and a phone number. This definitely wasn’t real.
“Call me,” Clarke stood from her seat, wobbling a bit before catching her balance. The bus came to a stop, and before Clarke turned to go, she bent down. In a few seconds, Lexa wasn’t even sure it had happened, Clarke kissed her cheek. The lips had been hardly a graze, and Lexa was probably going to combust on the spot. She crossed her legs. Clarke was still bent down beside her face. “And next time, you should try using eyedrops.”
With that, Clarke spun on her heels and, very carefully, made her way to the exit. When the doors opened, she turned again and winked at Lexa. And with that, she was gone.
The world stopped. Had that happened? Lexa should call Anya. Lexa should call Clarke. No, she just got her number. She needs to chill out. She really should call Anya though. She had no idea where she was. Wait. Clarke told her to use eyedrops. Lexa paused. Why had she said that. Wait.Lexa was high as a kite. Clarke had known.
For the last time of the night, Lexa’s whole body burst with the heat of embarrassment, but it was definitely not the last time of the night that Lexa felt heat rise from feeling.