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tachycardia was known to be a medical term used to describe an increased heartbeat; there, the heart rate went over a hundred beats a minute. it was an irregular rhythm, but not necessarily a lasting diagnosis; sometimes, tachycardia could appear as consequence to extreme stress or utter shock. midge was only nearing her thirties, and so she hadn't much experience with the said condition; it's happened to her a couple times with coffee 'overdose' during the nights, or during preparations to some especially important gigs. however, she never quite realized just how serious it could get, until a certain car ride.
when she'd spotted a familiar figure collapsing on the street out of her cab's window, the woman only felt a quick sting of terror. it could've been someone else, she thought. though, whilst her mind tried to rationalize the occurred circumstance, her feet were already carrying her out of the moving taxi. she threw a breathless 'pull over, right now' to the driver, midway through the door. upon running up to the weakened body laying on the sidewalk, she contemplated her chances. what if it was just some stranger? she couldn't just nag an unfamiliar man, all of a sudden.
she concluded that the opposite chance was worth it, in the end, for she could not risk it being lenny. carefully, the brunette brushed the heel of her shoe against the man's side. he groaned. she tried calling out his supposed name, and then the man turned over; mumbling something indistinguishable, clearly not in his right senses. midge had to squint her eyes a little, in order to make out his face. as soon as she managed it, she felt her pulse right in her throat. kneeling on the dirty street, she shook lenny's shoulders. her mouth had suddenly gone completely dry; she couldn't speak. he couldn't really move, but he did pay her a questionable compliment regarding her behind. she couldn't understand it; this, him. just laying there. he smelled of whiskey, smoke and despair. midge tried to get him to stand up, but failed quite miserably. then, she began frantically looking around; sirens were heard nearby. it could've been her subconscious playing cruel jokes, but she'd rather not find out.
after spending about five more seconds evaluating the situation her options, the brunette called over her taxi's driver. together, the two managed to scrape 'the lenny meat' off of the side walk, and then stuff him into the backseat. well, it was mostly just the cabbie's doing, but she tried to help as much as she could. upon returning to her own sit in the front, the woman exhaled in relief. "thank you, for that. i'll make sure to throw in an extra fee." she smiled warmly at the driver, trying to seem unbothered by his clearly displeased expression. 'no problem, little lady. we still goin' to that riverside?' as the cabbie wished to make sure, midge nodded along. "yes. 404 riverside drive, please." the two were in agreement, until about a second later, as both their heads instantly turned to face the passed out man in the back. despite his current state, lenny managed to yell out something like 'ey, upper west side' and then slide off his seat, content with the comment made. seeing as the comedian seemed to be shut off once more, she decided not to wonder whether he finally recognized her, or just noted the named address.
she advised the driver to go forward, and so they did. of course, the brunette's mind was about melting underneath the weight of all the questions left unanswered; that, as well as her need to figure out a future strategy for breaking down the news of lenny bruce staying over for the night, to her parents. she chose not to focus too eagerly on either of those topics; instead, choosing to watch lenny through the mirror upfront. making sure he wouldn't hit anything with his head too harshly, reminding the cabbie to go gentler on that gas.
getting lenny inside her building proved to be much easier than picking him up from the street; mostly so, due to there being more men on the help out. boy, what rumours would there be afterwards. surprisingly, explaining the occurred accident to her parents, also proved to be a fairly easy task — her father recognized the comedian due to their own unfathomable history, and her mother was still under the impression from that bouquet he'd once sent her. zelda actively swore in her own language; midge could only understand some things regarding the wrinkles on his suit, and the unpresentable look of his shoes. she promised the maid would get a chance to iron and clean those.
they've collectively decided to put lenny into the kids' room. it was more distinct than the couch in the living room, which would supposedly grant him a better chance at sleeping in.
once everyone else was sound asleep, and midge's own night routine had been fulfilled, she made sure to sneak in and check up on him. while doing so, she took off his suit jacket and tie; amidst the latter action, she must've woken him up from his slumber, because the feeling of his hands occupying her waist was unmistakable. "still not a whore." she mused, and he chucked in response; 'shame.' shaking her head, the woman bit back an entertained grin. ridding herself of his grip, she only had to press lightly onto his left shoulder, to make him fall back to the sheets. as she was taking off his shoes, lenny took another unlikely guess; 'wife?' midge sighed. just like that time she was bailing him out after their arrest, the proposed role excited her more than it should have. "no. you're divorced." the man before her groaned again, pretentiously whining — 'bummer.' this time around, midge laughed. "hush now, sleep." retreating from the bed, she was careful not to step onto any noisy toys. upon reaching the door, she heard a quiet, humorous 'yes ma'am.' in response.
lenny's wallet was placed onto her makeup counter, so that ethan could not reach it; his tie and watch were laying on her nightstand. the shoes and jacket went straight to zelda, as per her earlier request. midge was having some trouble falling asleep. it was a strange day. had it's ups and downs, just as any other.. though, none of those days usually ended with a very handsome, famous man sleeping in her apartment. unfortunately, he was sleeping relatively far away from her.
turning her head to the side, the woman peeked at his belongings. they looked good on her nightstand; like they could remain. she imagined he would look even better laying on an adult bed, though that is to say, he looked well enough on a child's. there was something about watching him sleep, too. he looked so relaxed. and heavenly. and safe. she fell asleep with that thought.
next morning, she woke up to a regular routine. taking a shower, washing and styling her hair; putting on her makeup and a fitting attire — a light flowery dress, then added on with a transparently pink apron. she was normally a little less dressed so early on in the mornings, but she did have a guest staying over, just then. her parents were having breakfast; papa with a newspaper in hand, mama just with her usual banter. midge, herself, was currently on a bathroom quest with esther; toilet training was fun, when done properly. and, on that particular day, esther was doing fabulously. with that said, the little angel got her song as praise for good work. amidst the gentle melody, the woman heard a familiar variety of voices form the kitchen. it seemed there were three, now, which would likely mean lenny had gotten up.
hurrying over to the kitchen, she threw a quick "don't run!" to ethan galloping past her. then, she saw lenny's lean figure in the hallway. the man looked puzzled, and physically in pain. "hey, look who's finally up." gifting him with a cheery smile, midge entered the kitchen. she took off the white gloves used for.. a specific kind of activities, then proceeded to the sink. lenny was having a hard time figuring out who she was, but he seemed to be progressing. 'wait. you. i know you.' he pointed at her, and she could hardly resist a chuckle. "i know you too." her tone was reassuring, as she went to wash her hands. "by the way, you are a very sound sleeper. ethan climbed right over you to get to his fire truck, and you didn't budge.." her speech was interrupted by a yet another bewildered 'wait' of his, after which he'd exited the kitchen. herself and her parents had quickly exchanged looks, before letting their gazes trail after lenny's movement in the living room. he exclaimed there being the hudson river right out the window, and then returned, with his finger pointing at her chest. she waited in silence, until he finally called her 'upper west side.' midge was beginning to get slightly conceded; it sure took him a while to process her identity. she would've likely been offended, if she hadn't seen him the prior night. the hangover must've been killing him; he'd gotten absolutely slammed.
her father made a sharp comment regarding lenny's intelligence and probably stolen joke material, and she really would've laughed at it, had she not felt this bad for the poor comedian. "would you like some coffee?" — her mother responded to that instead, claiming that he simply 'stared' when they'd suggested it earlier. "sorry i wasn't there when you woke up." she began speaking again, while proceeding to pour him a cup of black coffee. "i'm toilet training esther.. you know, my daughter. when she does good, she gets the song. and, today she did very, very good. though, yesterday was a disaster.. we had to replace the wallpaper." finishing up with her story, midge passed him the mug; which he instantly accepted, upon responding to her. 'well, everyone has their ups and downs..' she nodded, and he suddenly waved it off; placing the cup onto the counter behind her, and then dragging her away from the scene. she followed, but before he could say anything, she suggested he'd take a shower. her mother chimed in again; he declined them both, and gripped her arm again. with ethan running in between the pair, lenny swore midst sentence.
now being dragged further away from the kitchen and hallway, midge struggled to keep up with his chosen pace in her heels. as soon as they stopped, he'd inquired how he got there. "well, what do you remember?" — she figured she'd better make sure where to start off her story. his response was uncompromising, which caused her to take a deep breath in. just how drunk was he, back then?
"last night, i was driving home from the club, and i saw you passed out on the ground. i tried to ask you where you were staying, and you said.. -nice hair- " judging by lenny's facial expression alone, her latter statement did not sound convincing to him. 'i said, -nice hair-?' the brunette bit on her bottom lip, clearly playful. "no, but for the sake of our friendship, let's stick with hair. anyhow, then i said 'thanks', and i brought you here and stuck you in my son's room." lenny seemed to be going over the options of which of her body parts he could've possible called 'nice' that she would rather not repeat, until he remembered his missing belongings. the man's first assumption was that he's been robbed — which was understandable, but not necessarily true. she left to search for his things, ignoring his pleading request to 'wait'.
she could only dig up his watch, shoes and wallet(though, not without slight loss), but by the time she returned to the living room, he was also given back his jacket. midge suggested he give up his pants for zelda to iron, but he seemed awfully frustrated and set on keeping the pair all to himself. with a shrug, she explain ethan's money-eating phase and promised to give lenny back the perfectly 'healthy' ten bucks instead of those which have suffered. the man also appeared to be missing a tie, but wouldn't let her search for it. in fact, he told her to keep it, and then she'd finally caught onto his mood. why was he so outraged? "lenny—" she tried to reason, but he retorted. 'i have ties. and, thank you for this, but the next time you see me and you think that i might be in need of help, please just carry on walking.' his gestures expressed even more of that odd anger, and she could not, for the life of it, figure out where it was all coming from. he got dressed unnaturally fast, and she could only manage as much as a single "hey." by the time he was out the front door. she followed him on instinct, calling him a drama queen whilst he sprinted to find an exit from their floor. "dead end." she informed him, stepping out of the apartment. he turned and raced in the direction of the stairs; ignoring her pointing to the elevator nearby. "can we please just— lenny." the man began down the stairs, and she slammed her hands against her sides, in defeat. how stubborn.
she raced him to the first floor; taking the elevator, herself, and arriving almost in sync with him. she had to admit, he was pretty fast for a hungover comedian. when catching the sight of her, he immediately reached after a joke — 'why the hell do you live on such a high floor?'. she was unamused. frankly, could not believe her eyes, because he continued running away from the foyer, all out of breath. the woman kept following after him; greeting a fellow neighbour on her way out of the building, then sitting down to pick up a shoe he's left behind. fucking cinderella. he wouldn't turn to face her, even as she called his name; instead, mumbling something about there being no cabs on the upper west side as he stood on the wrong sidewalk. she brought him the shoe, and he asked what it was. after giving him the expectedly blunt answer, she saw a glimpse of disbelief and horror flashing across his eyes. he only accepted the offered shoe once he'd made sure he was missing one.
she was utterly confused. why was he mad? it's not like she's never seen a hungover man before. it's not like she was a nun. what was it in particular, about her general act of kindness, that seemed to drive him off the rails? she asked him about it; told him he should be thankful. his response was that he is thankful, and wants her to go back inside. protect the wallpaper at all costs, he told her. "you do know that you're acting like a child, right?" it was getting harder to talk, now that she was beginning to lose her patience.
'of course i'm acting like a child. i'm a comedian. please, go back inside.' — his words made her want to huff with displeasure. they were getting interrupted, too, by some truck's driver that appeared to be one of lenny's fans. she'd never been so repulsed by fame, before; and, never really wished for a complete stranger to dissolve, this badly. lenny told her something about this not being his scene; the shit was absolutely ridiculous. she worried about him, and got this in return? bizarre.
she found out he had a child, amidst the conversation. a girl. it surprised her, even though it really shouldn't have; after all, they barely knew any factual things about each other. backgrounds were mostly vague. that appeared to be his main argument. he mimicked dracula, and to her sheer horror, he was making a point crystal clear. they were supposed to be strangers. edgy and alluring within the shadows, witty and sharp-tongued. they weren't supposed to share their daytime troubles. he was hinting on the fact that she didn't know him, and he didn't know her.
midge tore down her apron. she couldn't believe he dared to say all that. or even- think all that. she did know him. and gods, how she hated the fact that he knew her, too. that was exactly why he managed to hit a nerve, after all. she had her pride; and she ran after him, thrice. that was plenty.
the last bit was him offering her money. for the taxi, the shoe polishing, the blintz. she walked straight past him. fucking perfect.
upon returning home, she'd found his tie on the floor; stuck between her nightstand and the side of her bed. after fishing it out, she bluntly stared at the item. she must've really cared, because she couldn't throw it out. instead, she'd wrap the fabric around her palm; studying the plain black. it felt smooth against her skin, until it was no longer there; she'd settled it into the nearest drawer. some day, she'd give it back.
Disaster_Lady Sun 01 May 2022 03:32AM UTC
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