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Changing Channels

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My eyes widen in horror as a wide smile plasters itself onto my face and I begin to sing, “My name is… Joe! Hello, Hello, Hello!”
This is hell alright. What am I doing?
My body is out of my control as it dances and sings songs of frogs. My stomach lurches every time my body leaps up from a squatting position. Yet my voice is calm and my smile is irreversibly stitched in place.
It feels like a lifetime before the music ceases and the dancing turns into a friendly stance, my lips are still moving but I am no longer singing, rather I’m talking as if to a kid.
“That was fun! Now let’s look at some more frogs, through the windows!”


“-a fund of over 30 million dollars to be used for national defense..”
What just happened? My voice is laced with passion and anger and my hands refuse to stop flapping about along with everything it says. My body is seated now, behind a table.
“These new plans for our country are not-”


There is dramatic music in the air as I look down at the screen in front of me. It reads; ‘The only person to have served as both U.S. President and Vice President without being elected to either position was; a) Gerald Ford, b) Barack Obama, c) Lyndon B. Johnson’
I felt the pang of disappointment as my finger incorrectly tapped on ‘b) Barack Obama’ how could my body be so stupid, the answer was Gerald Ford.
My body moves for me as it turns to face a toothy grinned man who proceeded to prove me right and my body wrong but my glee was unfortunately soured by the stance of my body, it’s weird how body language works.
I internally flinched, only because I couldn't externally do so, as I saw a large, stern, unattractive-looking face staring at me. I had not noticed my body moving but now his answer was being revealed.
“The Chaser answered, a) Gerald Ford! Oh no,” Smiley man turns his attention to me “He’s caught you and now youuuuur out!”
I felt my body slump as it turned to move away,
“Meg is next, after the break!”


I wake up.
Lightly covered in sweat, not wanting to move in case I can’t...
It’s awfully silent. I can hear a fan whirring in a nearby room and birds chirping but I’m still too afraid to move.
I finally build up the courage to move my pinky finger and find, to my despair, that I can’t. I try with all my might to move my arm in any way but nothing will work. This can’t be happening. No, I refuse to believe it.
Calm down, breathe.
In trying to breathe evenly I found my breathing had not changed in my panic. This knowledge did nothing to stop my mind from churning uncomfortably in the claustrophobic space inside my head.
I flinched this time both internally and externally. My head moved to reveal two large men on the other side of the room. My body spoke for me, “Who are you?”
One of the men looked over with a sickening grin “Don’t you worry, you’ll wake up soon.”
My body shivered and I agreed with the response.
In the blink of an eye I was lying back down on the bed like as if I had just woken up, again.
My body lifted the sheets and sat up taking stock of the room. After a moment of silence my mouth moved to say, “What is this… déjà vu?”
Inception, more like. This is giving me some really weird vibes.
“I’m sorry but did you say déjà vu?” a thin man says, entering the room.
The eyebrows on my face push together “Yes?”
“Oh no, that means they changed something… But what?”
“Uh, who is ‘they’?”


I feel smaller and looking down I can see why, I seem to be some sort of small animal. My mouth begins to move letting out words in an exaggerated Russian accent; “, for courageous meerkats go to, for cheap car insurance go to, Simples!”
No, this cannot go on.


I don’t know what’s going on. My eyes are closed.
My mouth moves to say, “There’s no place like home” and my stomach lurches with the unseen movement of my body.
“There’s no place like home” I assume the movement begins in my feet this time but I can’t be certain.
My mouth lets the words roll out, desperate and pleading, “There’s no place like home…”

I agree.