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High Noon

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Jesse never in his fucking life thought he’d ever be on this side of cowgirl. Or like he guessed it was cowboy. And fuck if that didn’t remind him of about fifteen different Brokeback Mountain jokes.

Not that Mr. White’s and his relationship had much of that like sappy, rolling-around-in-the-grass, going-camping-together, “I-wish-I-knew-how -to-quit-you” sentimental shit. Yeah, so Jesse had seen the movie once or twice with a chick he was sleeping with pretty regularly right after it had come out to DVD. She had a massive hard-on for Jake Gyllenhaal, and he was getting lucky so he didn’t really care what they watched after. That whole shitty thing had been pretty messed up, like mostly about getting high on glass and constantly ordering pizza and screwing. They’d hooked up the first night they met completely plastered at this party at Skinny Pete’s cousin’s place.

It took him and Mr. White a week to get to this point after dry-humping in the guy’s classroom and then doing a ton of hand-stuff over the next couple of days. Calling it a point may have been like way too ironic ‘cause Jesse was sitting on the guy’s cock, on the opposite end of balls-deep for the first time ever, and it was like that word they used when describing jacking people up with swords in those medieval computer games Badger used to play all the time in middle school. Impaled, shit yeah. Mr. White’s dick was like a sharp point impaling him or whatever and Jesse was actually digging it way more than he thought he would. He’d been called a pain-slut before by some freaky chicks into that sort of leather and whips scene, which wasn’t exactly his go-to genre of porn or anything, but it definitely got the job done when it was skin-to-skin. Still though, he was pretty surprised he liked this like at all.

Jesse,” Mr. White moaned.

The dude sounded like he was drowning, like gulping and sputtering and shit. Jesse wasn’t sure what Mr. White looked like right about now ‘cause he was staring down at the guy’s hairy legs and feet. Reverse cowboy: Mr. White’s idea.

He’d invited Jesse over at around eleven thirty or so in the afternoon since he only had a half-day for exams. He made Jesse breakfast-for-lunch, going all out with bacon and pancakes and hash browns. Jesse couldn’t remember the last time somebody cooked for him so Jesse had no problem doing the dishes. When the last pan was all shiny and shit, Jesse had noticed a little glob of avocado on his thumb nail. He wasn’t going to let that go to waste, so he licked it as he turned from the sink and almost knocked right into Mr. White.

“Yo,” Jesse said, chuckling.

Mr. White actually smiled. “Yo.”

The guy had that kind of glazed-over look like when he wanted to do stuff.

“What?” Jesse got the rest of the stuff off his thumb.

Even though it wasn’t like unwanted or anything, he found himself taking a step back when Mr. White blocked him in against the sink with both hands on either side of him. The heels of Jesse’s sneakers even rattled the low-set cabinets and he chucked again. Nobody but Mr. White had gotten Jesse giggly over sex stuff since he was like seventeen.

“I simply cannot believe that you’re oblivious to what you’re doing,” Mr. White said.

“Um…actually gonna say that I am.” He tried following whatever the hell Mr. White was looking at, and oh, it was his thumb: now clean and absently wiping his mouth. Jesse squinted. “Mr. White, you like watching me suck green shit off my finger?”

He looked down at Jesse all steely-eyed, and it would have been a little more intimidating if he didn’t gulp like super loud right after. “Watching you suck anything makes me hard.”

“Yeah?” Jesse said with a snicker. He could feel his nose scrunch up ‘cause he still wasn’t used to this stuff with Mr. White. But, Jesse’s dick was twitching in his pants and he was smiling too. He totally on purpose ran his tongue across his bottom lip. “Well, hearing you say ‘hard’ like that makes me hard.”

Jesse wasn’t sure if he’d just turned their flirting into a pissing contest, but considering who he was hitting on, like he wouldn’t be too shocked. It also felt a little bizarre saying what he’d just said ‘cause he was more and more just starting to get cool with the idea that if you added one aroused dude to another aroused dude you’d get two boners. And Mr. White was definitely contributing to this whole equation thing, stiff as hell against Jesse’s inner thigh.

Mr. White got his mouth all close up to Jesse’s ear. “Hearing me say ‘hard’ in what way exactly?”

“Like a fucking grizzly bear,” Jesse said, eyelids already fluttering.

Maybe Mr. White could feel Jesse’s eyelashes against his jaw ‘cause he pulled back to look at Jesse.

“You like bears, huh?” He was grinning wickedly.

“Don’t know,” Jesse said. No way was Mr. White gonna one-up him with this kind of shit. He tilted his head to the side and smirked. “Haven’t really had the full experience…you know?”

Jesse swore the greenish tint of Mr. White’s eyes darkened like one of those Hot Wheels that changed colors in warm water. Then Mr. White was rubbing up against Jesse with his like whole arm up the back of Jesse’s shirt. They were in his bedroom like seconds later. And it didn’t take long for Mr. White to twist Jesse up the way the guy wanted him after all the kissing and licking and biting started to rev up to something explosive as shit.

Mr. White’s hands were all kinds of jittery on Jesse’s ass, like he was struggling to scramble up out of a mud pit, and Jesse was both flattered and super pissed off.

It was bananas enough going gay for a fifty-year-old and, probably even more so, starting to fall for the guy. Jesse had never been one hundred percent sober around Mr. White, and it was like getting out of that hazy cloud of drugs with this one guy in his corner pumped up the dopamine shit in Jesse’s brain and here he was. He actually felt like he had a crush on the dude: making excuses to stop by and visit him, helping him out at work, buying him fucking ice cream like he was trying to pick up a fourteen-year-old girl. But, like Jesse had made some assumptions about how this whole sex thing was going to go down. He’d been thinking about it a lot this past week. It was like ever since Mr. White decided to use him as an extra mattress pad that night Jesse had snuck into his apartment, which was the hardest Jesse had slept in months, Mr. White had taken this kind of lead role when they were doing shit together. He paid for dinner, did all the driving, and was almost always the first to kiss him or fondle him through his jeans.

He felt relieved in a weird way. It wasn’t like Jesse had exactly been a take-charge kind of guy in the relationships he’d been in before: sort of a commitment-phobic, let’s-just-chill-at-your-place, little-spoon sort of dude. But, Mr. White was about three inches taller than him and a hella ton broader, had that sort of chest span and weight Jesse couldn’t help but imagine pushing him into the bed again, just laying underneath all this warmth and hair and like everything opposite of what Jesse had experienced before. There’d be so damn much to hold on to. Or at least there would be more to get his fingers around than the sheets and his own damn trembling thighs.

Jesse’s whole body was shaking hard enough to make him look like has tweaking out.

“What…what’s wrong, Jesse?” Mr. White said. “Why aren’t…you…?”

Jesse was pretty sure Mr. White wanted to ask him why he wasn’t making any movements aside from the shivering shit he had going on like he was a damn puppy getting ready to whiz everywhere.

He may have been pouting a little. “Yo, I thought…your…ass would be on top.”

“Does this not feel good?”

Jesse wondered if getting up to turn off the A/C would help or maybe closing the blinds to cover up the innocent, bird-chirping, sunshine-shit he could see from the second story window. This was supposed to happen at night with sort of dim lighting and bristles of goatee scratching his neck and his legs wrapped around the guy. Jesse had been in a ton of other positions besides missionary, but he’d somehow missed out on being the one with his calves pressed into back muscles, wrapped all around somebody like a fucking gaping little monkey. And this should have been like his prime opportunity.

Mr. White had a steadier palm on Jesse’s lower back and the heat of his skin made him jump and oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Jesse needed to do that again.

Setting both hands on the mattress, he hopped up slow as kind of an experiment and like choked up ‘cause he could feel that shit shoot straight up his spine. He tilted forward with his next wobbly thrust.

Yo…whoa…shit…whoa,” Jesse groaned.

He sounded like a fucking virgin, but he had no idea that rubbing their balls together was a thing they could do at this angle. What the fuck did he look like, a damn expert on guys banging each other? Shit, there was something about being totally upright like this, out in the open in the daylight that made Jesse feel like he was putting on some sort of show. He didn’t want to, but he was picturing those old Muppet dudes heckling the shit out of him. Well, that was if the puppets were gay and cracking jokes like, “Who has two testicles and doesn’t know how to use them? This guy! Ah-ha-ha-ha!”

Whatever; those wrinkly-old assholes could shut the hell up.

Jesse dug his nails into the top sheet, pulling it taut, and started really grinding into that firm fleshiness pressed just right against him. His cock was heavy and wet and dragging along the bed every time Jesse moved.

“I’m guessing…it feels…good now?” Mr. White said.

Jesse knew the dude was smirking, but Mr. White wasn’t really in a place to rag on anybody considering all the dying animal sounds he’d been making.

“Prick,” Jesse said, smirking too.

Mr. White snorted though it turned into this deep, rumbly kind of “Mmm” with each little bounce of Jesse’s ass. Jesse mashed himself forward and back and his feet were sort of going numb from the way he was kneeling and resting on them. He considered jerking off, how that combo would be about as dope as a cheese burger after getting a blowjob, but he’d probably come way too soon. He wasn’t fucking done yet. Plus, the like novelty of this whole nuts-against-nuts thing was sort of wearing off. Jesse needed something else. He tried to think what chicks usually did up here.

Hips; yeah, he had those. Girls were always like circling their hips, rotating and shit. Girls dug cowgirl ‘cause they got to control how like deep you were and what places they wanted you. And he liked it ‘cause he got to watch all that. Jane had been fucking gorgeous on top: gliding up and down on him with her teeth in her bottom lip and her eyes shut.

He felt another tremor, this one super close to his chest, and why the hell was he thinking about this right now? When was he not thinking about her? How the fuck was he gonna stop himself from breaking the fuck down and sobbing again?

He shook his head with his mouth pressed shut and felt a pair of thumbs press gently into the dimples on his back, fingers cupping his pelvic bones.

“Jesse… are you…okay?”

He nodded, sniffing and pretending to scratch the side of his face where he was crying a little. Shit, he was holding his breath and it was like the second he realized it, he just had to fucking hiccup and shudder.

Mr. White started moving under him, slowly, and with some serious effort and huffing and puffing on Mr. White’s part, he dragged their bodies up the bed. Everything was still until he felt a damp chest on his back and big hands on his arms. The shift eased Mr. White’s cock out a little, and it was crazy just how bad that felt right now. Jesse fucking whimpered as he wiggled back down onto the hilt. He could hear Mr. White choke.

“Am I…hurting you?”

Jesse shook his head, sniffled again. It wasn’t like he was thinking about anything in particular, just like that overall shitty, gut-punch, knock-your-breath-out feeling of loss. He really wanted to stop crying.

Mr. White slipped his hand between Jesse’s thighs, rubbed tiny circles starting at his belly before moving down to the hair there and then light brushes of fingertips at the tip of his dick.

“Jesse, I want this to feel good for you.” He slicked up his fingers along the slit then circled them around Jesse’s shaft. “Would you rather be on your stomach or your back?”

“Back,” Jesse said. His own voice sounded pathetically waterlogged and croaky. And, he felt like a brat sort of, like getting his way after crying in the guy’s lap.

His lips were on Jesse’s neck. “Okay.”

It was just one fucking word, but holy shit did he say it nicer than anything Jesse had ever heard from him; like it wasn’t frustrated or tense or anything. He sounded totally fine with Jesse making a decision for a change. And Jesse would so be lying if that didn’t perk up his prick a little.

Mr. White’s hands slid up to frame his sides. “We’re going to do this slowly, alright?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said.

He let Mr. White do most of the lifting as he managed to kneel before he was all the way off. That was when it actually hurt: on his knees, naked and untouched and still tearing up, and the sun hadn’t gone down at all.

“You can lie back if you’d like.”

Mr. White sounded so damn far away.

Jesse coughed. “My feet are asleep.”

Mr. White was suddenly right next to him, like one hand on the back of his head and the other on his chest as he helped Jesse get down into the sheets. Jesse’s legs got their shit together enough to unfold and stretch out, and he was soon spreading them as Mr. White reached over to the nightstand to get another coat of lube on himself.

Mr. White, come on,” Jesse said.

Mr. White gave him this soft sort of smile. Hovering over him with an arm by each of Jesse’s shoulders, Mr. White gingerly pushed his way back inside. The next few thrusts were so gentle it was like startling, especially when Mr. White dipped down to kiss Jesse’s eyelids and the moisture still there and pressing his lips all over Jesse’s face. He was working his hips into Jesse, twisting this way and that, really digging for something. Jesse’s dick was pinned between their bellies and that friction against his balls was new and good again.

Mr. White.

It came out like a damn sob. Jesse clawed at the sheets. He didn’t know what the fuck that was. Shit, he’d never felt anything like that. The guy was smiling as he gave a slight nudge forward and it happened again.

Fuck, Mr. White.” Jesse couldn’t help but try to squirm away.

Mr. White pressed his stomach to Jesse’s, practically smothering Jesse’s cock, and hit that spot in him that made Jesse literally shout this time.

“Give into it, son,” he said, mouthing wet kisses along his dragon tat. “It’s a lot, I know. But, it’s going to feel so good.”

Jesse nodded for like no damn reason, lifting up just to test his fucking luck, and it was like the best thing ever. He was so close with so much more he wanted to do. Tilting up again, he groaned before nuzzling his forehead into that chest hair that had felt so warm against his shoulder blades. Mr. White was sweaty now, but Jesse liked it. He moved down some to flick his tongue out around a nipple.

Jesse?”

Only Mr. White could moan and sternly question Jesse’s life choices all in one ragged breath. Jesse smiled against his skin as he gave the other nipple a few quick, light licks. His feet were just sort of tingly now, so he hooked his legs around the guy’s waist, pausing with his lips parted in a tingly spike of pleasure before he gripped on tighter with his thighs.

Cupping the back of Mr. White’s neck, Jesse tipped his chin and opened up greedy for Mr. White’s tongue ready to lick its way inside. He was totally attached to Mr. White, feeling like the guy’s body was one long, warm, balmy breath on Jesse’s skin.

Mr. White did this circling kind of jerk forward and Jesse felt it burst out hot from his core, like so hard it was like shattering ribs and ripping into tendons and making Jesse shiver and shiver and shiver all over again. He kept moving along with the pulses that didn’t seem like they were gonna stop. It must have felt just as amazing being inside all that contraction shit.

Jesse,” Mr. White moaned.

He was trembling, face wrecked, pitching forward with his lips gaping and coming inside Jesse. He dropped down pretty hard, but in a good way, giving him a couple of sloppy kisses that somehow landed on the middle of his ear like the most affectionate Wet Willy ever.  

Jesse fucking giggled and tucked his chin down ‘cause he was ticklish damn it.

“Yo, cut it out,” Jesse said, laughing.

Mr. White lowered his mouth enough to give Jesse’s earlobe a like parting nip. He moved off him, rolled Jesse over, and had somehow arranged them chest-to-chest so fast Jesse was still laughing even with a close-up of those wrinkles around Mr. White’s eyes.

The guy looked drained and happy as shit. Jesse would have said something like, “Same, yo,” but then somebody may have tried to make some cheesy, homoerotic cowboy movie about them or something. Instead, he let his eyes close, blindly kissed Mr. White somewhere in the collarbone area, and slung a loose arm around the guy ‘cause maybe passing out right after wasn’t rude if they both had dicks. And this position was kind of nice.

He felt a warm thud against him and sort of squinted into that stubborn-as-hell afternoon brightness to see Mr. White fucking dead to the world with his face in the crook of Jesse’s neck. He thought about it for a couple seconds, jaw shifting back and forth anxiously like someone might be watching, and was like why the hell not? Leaning down just a little, he kissed the dude’s forehead. It was probably some once-in a-life-time shit. So what if he was a sap? He wasn’t gonna pass that up.