Actions

Work Header

How They All Found Out

Summary:

From a given prompt: The different ways Midge has to break the news of her dating Lenny to various people in her life

As of now (4/15/23) it is completely spoiler free for Season 5, and I'm planning to keep it that way however if it changes I'll label it clearly in the chapter summary or author's notes for the individual chapter in question.

Notes:

1) These aren't in chronological order
2) There's like zero historical accuracy to this
3) Thanks for reading!!
4) If there are any characters I've forgotten or you'd like to see, let me know and I'll add a chapter for them :)

Chapter 1: Susie

Chapter Text

He'd only be in town for one more night, then LA for the rest of the month. Plus the gig she'd gotten was the same one in Midtown with that asshole booker that threw her off the stage every time she joked about something other than brisket and hair curling. She called to cancel the gig herself, and the two of them had a great night together. They got sushi (a new one for her, and she didn't mind it, although she did spend most of the evening pretending not to know how to use chopsticks so he'd feed the little rolls to her). Then back to his hotel, and... well, let's just say birds do it, bees do it, and even broke comedians do it. The next morning, after a continental breakfast where she took off one heel under the table and rubbed him up under his pantleg, she was summoned to Susie's office for what she was expecting was going to be a thorough reaming out.

"What the hell, Miriam? Do you know what I had to do to get that guy to let you into his club again?"

"I'm sorry, Susie. I am, but something came up. And plus, I don't even want to work there anymore. He pays shit and bumps me half the times I get booked."

"Miriam! This is what we talked about. Any paying gig! I don't care if you have to perform for Stalin himself, if he's payin' ya, ya do it."

Midge shamefully looked at her lap, and nodded.

Susie took a few deep breaths, looking out her window, then sat back down in her desk chair. "What was it by the way?"

"What?"

"What came up that was so important that you couldn't make it?"

She fiddled with her thumbs and stared at the chipped nail polish on one of them. She'd have to fix it when she got home, and she racked her brain trying to remember what chipped it. Maybe her grip on the headboard, or when he took her against the bathroom sink that morning.

"Miriam!" Susie snapped her fingers in front of her face.

"It was nothing," Midge said. "Just something with the kids. Esther had a cold."

"Esther? Your daughter, who's currently staying with your ex and his medical doctor wife, had a cold. So, you were needed? For what? To watch?"

"I'm sorry. Won't happen again."

Susie narrowed her eyes. "It was a man."

"What? No!"

Susie continued to stare at her, with annoyance and curiosity- a difficult combination to pull off.

"Fine," Midge said. "It was just Lenny though. He was in town, had to leave in the morning, and we hung out."

"What? He couldn't come to your ten minute set and hang out after?"

She ground her teeth, and prepared for a bomb to go off.

"Well..."

She didn't even have to say it. Before she could say another word, Susie had flopped back in her chair like she was a dying fish, and groaned.

"Oh my god," Susie said.

"Look, it's not going to affect anything- that's why I didn't tell you."

"I think I'm having a heart attack."

"You're not having a heart attack, and this is why I didn't tell you."

"How long has this been going on?"

Midge thought back. Since February, with the Blue Room. Then there was that two week gap where he was still pissed at her, and she was still humiliated. Then, well. She took a shit gig at a strip club in Hoboken, and there he was in the front row. He'd said he was just there for the show, and was a total coincidence, but he couldn't keep a straight face. She apologized, as she had to. He apologized, even though he didn't. 'Two weeks, huh,' he'd said. 'Guess that's the longest I can go without you now.'

So... since then. About six months, but they weren't going to put a label on it yet.

"About six months," she said.

Susie groaned, and slammed her head down on the desk. "I'm gonna have to write up new contracts."

"Why?"

She picked her head up, now with a red, paperclip-imprint on her forehead. "Because apparently, I need to put in a clause that clearly states: 'I will not sleep with Lenny Bruce, or any other important person in the entertainment business'. Dinah! We need to make new contracts-"

"I told you this won't affect my career! It won’t affect anything!"

"Tell it to me at the wedding," Susie grumbled, getting up, and slammed the door of her office behind her.