Chapter 1: Vote for Kennedy, Redux
Chapter Text
Outside Hollywood, California. May 31, 1968
Lenny sits in his office leaning over the typewriter. He considers notes from his editor on his latest draft. He pushes his glasses back up and frowns at a criticism regarding his use of commas. Kitty appears in the doorway. He looks up.
“Can I have some friends over after school?”
“Sure,” he says. “I’ll just be in here.”
Kitty starts to fiddle with her skirt. There’s something else on her mind.
“Dad… When my friends come over,” she begins hesitantly. “Can you wear some real clothes?”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?” Lenny hasn’t bothered to get dressed properly the past couple of days. Deadlines are approaching. Getting dressed is a waste of time if you aren’t leaving the house. Did he raise his daughter to be prejudiced against the comfort of bathrobes?
“Da-ahd, please!”
Lenny smiles. “I kid, I kid. I will have ‘real’ clothes on. I’ll even have snacks.”
“Thanks! See you later.” Kitty turns and heads towards the door. The school bus will be picking her up outside the apartment complex.
“Just tell your friends to stay out of my office!” He calls after her.
His “office” being the apartment’s dining room that’s never been used as one. The open frame connects to the living room. A place that will be occupied by several almost teen girls that afternoon. The apartment is always clean and organized. Minus the table covered by draft pages and his typewriter. Anything to assure Kitty makes a good impression on the other kids at school. Their parents are probably aware of the true identity of the quiet divorced father that attends all her events. That’s Lenny Bruce. Yeah him! No way. I thought he was dead.
Lenny’s not hiding. He’s keeping a low profile. The name on the mailbox is Schneider. He wears glasses he needs now. Grown a beard he technically doesn’t. He hasn’t performed in years. Except when he tries to make the other unfortunates at narcotics anonymous laugh. His world has shrunk down to raising Kitty, dinners with his mother, and the occasional philosophic phone call with Abe.
New comedians will ask for his advice on occasion. Sometimes his mother points them in his direction, or he gets recognized in back row of clubs when he rarely goes out. Despite his new reputation for aloofness, Lenny will give his thoughts willingly. He thinks he’s too young to have turned into an elder statesman of comedy. Then again, forty-two is much older than he ever thought he’d be.
The letters on the page start to frustrate him more than usual. Time for a cigarette. He’s only just lit it when the phone rings.
“Yeah.”
“Guess where I am right now?” says a voice he hasn’t heard in a while.
“Hmm,” he says, bringing his hand up to hide his smile as he takes a drag. Even if Midge isn’t there to see how much joy her call has brought him. “Timbuktu?”
“Wow, I was expecting a more creative answer. How about Los Angeles?”
He leans back in his chair. “Oh, so we’re neighbors now?”
“They’ve got me at the Ambassador until the campaign moves to Chicago,” she says.
“If he wins.”
“When he wins.”
Lenny laughs. “Spoken like a true campaigner.” He says it without trying to tease her. He’d done enough of that during their last phone call. She’d called him to say she was going to be a “campaigning comedian” for Senator Kennedy. Him? Really? Midge never told Lenny she knew him. Didn’t she remember Vaughn Meader? That poor schmuck. A dumb comedian with one joke. Boy, is Vaughn Meader fucked, Midge said, parroting his own words back to him. You know I’m a thousand times funnier than he was. Besides, I don’t do impressions of Kennedy. Just Johnson.
They didn’t talk long that time. Ethan and Esther were fighting in the background. One moment. You two! Stop it! Anyway… Lenny needed to go his meeting. Gotta keep up those good habits. But Midge had gotten serious. This is my chance to do something good, Lenny. To actually help the world for once.
“The primary is on Tuesday. You better hope I’m a good campaigner.”
“Not to bring up the ending of some of your previous tours, Midge. But I’m surprised Kennedy hasn’t fired you. Doesn’t he know you made his sister-in-law cry?”
“Possibly. I even tried to apologize to Jackie back in New York. She looked at me with those big eyes of hers and said, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’” Midge does a perfect impression of the former First Lady’s transatlantic accent.
“Of course she would say that.” He takes another drag.
“Besides, Bobby says-”
“Wait? Bobby?” Lenny sits up straight. “You call him Bobby?!”
“He calls me Midge.” She says it like this’s nothing at all. “Miriam and Robert is a bit of a mouthful.
“Mrs. Maisel, do I need to be concerned?” Lenny’s half joking, half feeling a strong possessiveness towards a woman who’s technically never been his girlfriend. “Because I have heard some stories.”
Midge both sighs and laughs. “God, you’re almost as bad as Joel.”
He ignores the comparison to Mr. Maisel. “I usually answer to Lenny, but God is fine.”
“Thank goodness the Rabbi isn’t listening on the other line. But seriously, Senator Kennedy has been a perfect gentleman to me. He’s very sweet. Besides if he did try to sleep with me, I’d have to put it in my set.”
“Goes without saying,” says Lenny, grateful he doesn’t need to fantasize about socking Kennedy in the face. “I’m a tiny bit surprised he finds you funny.”
“All I had to do was make some very pointed jokes about President Johnson and he was laughing his head off. And…” Lenny can imagine Midge doing that thing were she wobbles her shoulders before revealing something good. “His wife thinks I’m hilarious.”
“Does she?”
“Oh she’s got a sense a humor, let me tell you. Shoved me in a pool yesterday. I was thankfully wearing a swimsuit. Ruined my hair though.”
“I’m sure shoving Mrs. Kennedy back would go over well.”
“I can’t cause she’s pregnant.”
“Again?” Lenny’s seen the army of children following their father around on the news. “What does this bring them up to?”
“Eleven. That’s Catholics for you.”
“Christ Midge, how do you expect your boy to pull us out of Vietnam when he can’t even pull out of his own wife!”
Midge giggle-snorts. “Lenny!”
This is one of his favorite sounds, her laughter. He’s grateful that after everything he still can make her.
“It’s a valid criticism. As a resident of California, one who can’t vote however...”
“I’ll put in a good word. Maybe President Kennedy can say something to Rockefeller."
"Eh, doubt it,” Lenny says grimly.
"Come on,” Midge says it in the same tone she uses on her children when she wants them to do something. “I know you’ll be on your best behavior when I introduce you.”
“Midge…”
“Lenny please! I haven’t seen you at all this year and I know you’re not gonna want to visit me in Chicago.”
“You got me there.” The last time he saw her was the fall, in Miami of all places. Lenny was visiting some old friends and happened to see her set at an overcrowded club. There had been hugs and small talk before he snuck off. Not that he really wanted to leave, but she was surrounded by people who would actually help her.
“And,” Midge’s voice softens, “I’ve missed you.”
Ah. How can he say no now? “I suppose I can make an appearance.”
“Wonderful! Come to the Ambassador Tuesday night. It will be fun, I promise.”
“Just promise to introduce me to your senator as famous intellectual Leonard Schneider. I don’t want to piss off a man who’s got a lot of money and a short fuse.”
She tsks. “It won’t come to that. My hotel room is very nice. I’m not in a linen closet. And there are two beds, just in case.” He hears her inhale like she just made a mistake.
“In case of what?” He asks, trying to keep an encouraging tone in check.
“Susie comes to visit,” she answers.
“If Susie shows up, I will sleep on the rug like a gentleman.”
Midge gives him her room number and how to call the front desk at the Ambassador. She has to get going. Lenny wishes her well and she promises they’ll see each other soon. After he puts the phone down, Lenny takes off his glasses and pinches his nose. His resolve is breaking down.
He should not go to the Ambassador on Tuesday, make up some excuse and send apologies. Not that he wants to, it’s just for the best. All of this, his newfound sobriety (two years in August), the book deal, a happier homelife. It’s all temporary. Lenny knows he’s just one fuckup away from ruining it. He will not put Midge through that again. Painful phone calls, hospital stays, her finding out just how much shit he’s on. Withdrawal, and her insistence on staying through it. Biggest mistake of them all. When he reached rage, Midge had been the perfect target. She’s forgiven him for his words. That’s nice, but he can’t forgive himself.
Thus, the respectful distance. Although it would be nice to curl up against her in the whatever-colored room she’s staying in. They’ve never had sex while he’s clean. The last time they shared a bed was not romantic. He’d woken up to find Midge in the narrow hospital bed next to him, her arm wrapped around his shoulders. Go back to sleep. I bribed the nurse into letting me stay. He cried, full of embarrassment and self-loathing. Midge stroked his hair and didn’t comment on the tears.
Lenny yelps. The cigarette has burned down to his fingers in his rumination.
“Motherfucker!”
A motherfucker he’d be if he doesn’t see Midge. Goddamn it. He will put on a suit, go to the Ambassador Hotel, and give her a friendly kiss on the cheek. He will shake hands with Senator Kennedy and hope the man doesn’t remember some of the jokes Lenny told about the departed president. He will then leave at an appropriate time. And he and Midge will return to their new status quo of post cards and phone calls. A respectful distance.
Chapter 2: Marvelous Television
Summary:
Midge goes on television. Lenny gets a new suit.
Notes:
This chapter ended up getting longer and longer and there's a natural ending point. Why should I make you wait? Lots of you were asking about what Midge has been up to in the past few years and I hope this answers it.
To Tell the Truth was a real game show. The talk show Midge goes on I made up. Historically accurate as I can wrangle it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lenny can’t escape Midge even after the phone call.
He does as he promised Kitty, changing into a pair of khakis and a polo before she and her two friends get off the bus. Alice, and another girl whose name he keeps forgetting. He leaves out cheese and crackers and some lemonade. Kitty gives him a hug hello before she and the girls take the snacks into her room. He’s typing in the office when he hears a familiar voice.
Lenny respects his daughter’s privacy. Trying make sure they have good relationship before she’s a real honest to God teenager, or else he’s gonna be fucked. So, he moves quietly to her cracked bedroom door. Yup. She and her friends are listening to one of Midge’s comedy albums. To make matters worse, they’re listening to the second one, Don’t Forget the Brisket.
“I’ve met her,” says Kitty.
“No way!” says her friend. Lenny remembers her name’s Julie.
“Yeah! She’s friends with my dad.”
“You’re fibbing!” says Alice.
“See, she signed it.” Lenny hears a record case flip around. “‘Dear Kitty, may you grow up to be better than any man who tries to put you down, love Midge!’”
He hears Julie and Alice scramble to read the note.
Lenny has his own copy with a different message containing some four letter words. He’s listened to the album enough to know where the girls are. Right before the section that would get him in trouble with other parents. Yeah, he let Kitty listen to it, shame on him. I know it’s about s-e-x, Dad! Technically the bit has a positive message. He knocks and opens the door right as Midge’s voice begins a story about a young couple having tea and biscuits. But it’s really a line leaning, censorship teasing bit about the importance of mutual oral sex in a relationship. It’s so good, so funny, Lenny’s almost mad he didn’t think of it first.
“Dad!” Kitty says, indignant.
“Hi girls,” He bends down and picks up the needle on Kitty’s record player. “Maybe you should listen to something else.”
“I’ve heard it before Mr. S,” says Julie. “My mom’s a big fan.”
Oh boy. Lenny turns and points to Alice. “What about you?” He doesn’t need a phone call from a pissed off father about the fun new story his kid learned at her friend’s house.
“My dad has all your albums. He says you got fucked over by the man.” Alice immediately slaps a hand over her mouth. Kitty and Julie titter. “But that’s what he says!” Alice’s face is turning a bright red.
“Alright, I’ll leave you three alone. Tell your dad I say thank you,” he adds to Alice. She giggles.
“Is your dad really a comedian,” asks Julie once Lenny’s out of the room.
“Yeah, but not anymore,” says Kitty.
“Why not?”
“I think it was making him sad.”
Damn. His little girl pays attention.
June 1, 1968. A Saturday.
On a whim, Lenny tries on one of his old suits. Turns out it doesn’t fit him anymore, confirming he’s regained some of his pre-addled addict weight. So, he ignores his edits and goes shopping. He tells himself there will be a book tour in his future. He will need a new suit. A nice one. That this purchase is not to impress Midge.
June 2, 1968
Lenny’s mother comes over for breakfast. She hugs and kisses both him and Kitty. There is a polite tour of the apartment before she starts cooking. Look Ma, no drugs. Lenny doesn’t begrudge his mother her concern. He doesn’t even trust himself a hundred percent.
The morning is a nice little moment of domesticity. His mother is making pancakes. Kitty’s got the television on. Meanwhile, Lenny’s banging out pages at a reasonable speed.
“Dad!”
“What?”
Kitty is excitedly pointing. “Midge’s gonna be on TV.”
His mother immediately comes out of the kitchen. “I didn’t know she was in California.”
“She’s working for Kennedy.” He keeps typing, trying to resist the pull of Midge. He has deadlines. He's gonna be a perfect gentleman on Tuesday night.
“Dad! You’re gonna miss it!” says Kitty. Her grandmother sits on the sofa next her.
Don’t get him wrong, Lenny’s grateful his mother and Kitty adore Midge. The bumps in his life (more like deep pits or high impassable mountains) have gone much more smoothly because of this. The dynamic is a comforting contrast to Lenny’s relationship with Midge’s people. Barring Abe and possibly Susie. He knows Susie probably has it out for him considering the gigs Midge canceled to be with him. I’m not happy about it either.
Lenny goes and takes the cup of coffee offered by his mother and squeezes onto the sofa. The television is showing a local LA talk show, hosted by some guy named Mike Montgomery. He’s apparently very popular with the ladies. Lenny think’s he’s too tanned and toothy.
On screen Montgomery smiles and takes a sip of coffee before speaking. “Welcome back. Today, I’m excited to welcome one funny lady. A comedian who’s trying to change America, the fabulous Midge Maisel!”
Midge comes out to applause. She always looks good in Lenny’s opinion, even when she herself doesn’t think so. Her outfit today is a sky blue mini dress with long sheer sleeves. (Thank God he sprung for the color television.) And her hair is enormous. A long elegant bouffant that’s brushed back several inches on her head. Oh Lenny’s going to say something about it when he sees her, he’s got a few days to think of a joke.
She shakes Montgomery’s hand and sits down in the chair opposite him, crossing her white booted legs.
“How are you this morning, Midge?”
“Wondering if you ever need a cohost, all the alliteration is too much to pass up.”
The audience laughs. “I’ll see what I can do! We have a lot to talk about, but first off, I’d like to belatedly congratulate you on your Grammy win!”
“Thank you, Mike! I’d have brought it with me but I’m afraid it doesn’t fit in this handbag!" Midge shows the accessory off for good measure.
“This was for your third album Revenge of the Housewife. You were nominated for your first, The Marvelous Midge Maisel. How did it feel to win?”
The cover has Midge dressed like it’s still the 50’s with a dress and apron. She’s got a fist full of Jell-O mold about to be flung towards the camera. Midge told Lenny she originally wanted to be eating out of her hand but the powers that be thought it was “too sexual.”
“Pretty good! I carried it around everywhere for a week. I had to stop once I dropped it in the bathtub.”
“In the past few years, you’ve sold out shows, extended tours, and are a very popular guest on To Tell the Truth. Do you feel that the Grammy win is a culmination of your career or just another step towards something even bigger?”
“I hope it’s a little bit of both. I get to be introduced as Grammy award winning comedian Midge Maisel for the rest of my life. It’s opened up some neat opportunities.”
“And they are?”
Midge smiles in a way Lenny thinks of as teasing. “You can’t expect me to spill all my secrets? You haven’t even bought me dinner yet!”
Montgomery raises his hand in defeat. “I know a couple of nice restaurants in LA. You’ve performed all over California, but you’re here for a unique gig for a comedian.”
“Well, not that unique. I still make people laugh. But yes, I’m helping Senator Kennedy run for president.” Midge tilts towards the camera, arms wide. “California Democratic Primary is on Tuesday! Write it down!”
“You certainly seem enthusiastic. How on earth did you end up working for him?”
Midge recrosses her legs, getting comfy. Lenny pays attention (more attention than he already pays to her). He hasn’t heard this story.
“Two years ago, I got invited to a dinner at the White House. I wore Givenchy, had on nice heels. Anyway, I ended up talking to President Johnson. He started doing that thing where he leans over you while talking. And he’s a very tall man. I didn’t like that he’s towering over me, and I’m still short with heels on next to him. So, I take off my shoes and get up on one of the chairs.
The audience starts to laugh and groan.
“So we can be at eye level. And it turns out they don’t like you standing on the furniture at the White House!”
Everyone, including the host, claps. Midge does a little bow in her chair.
“I can see how that would cause a fuss,” says Montgomery.
“A few months after that, I was back in New York at a party, and I was telling this story to a few interested people. And there was this woman next to me and she’s laughing and laughing. She grabs my arm and tells me her husband needs to hear this, cause he’ll think it’s funny.”
“And the husband was Senator Kennedy.”
“Yes! It was completely nerve wracking. You may not believe this Mike, but I’ve bombed a few times. I was scared he wouldn’t find it funny. Standing on chairs in the house his brother used to live in!”
“But he did though?”
Midge mimes wiping sweat off her brow. “He sure did. Senator Kennedy and I talked for a little bit, and he complimented me on No Mama Alone—”
“Midge’s charity that helps single mothers—”
“And a few single fathers—”
“Find jobs, education, and childcare in the greater New York—”
“Sometimes New Jersey!”
“Well, you’ve certainly helped a lot of people.”
“Mostly it’s my friend Imogene Cleary and my manager’s sister, Tessie Myerson, running the day to day operations. But I’m very proud of all the work No Mama Alone has done.”
When he was not completely broke Lenny sent the charity money. Privately. Secretly. Sneakily. The last thing he needed was Midge giving it back to him.
“Back to Senator Kennedy. You can say with one hundred percent certainty he should be our next president.”
“Yes,” says Midge quickly. “Even if I wasn’t working for him or considered him a friend.”
“And why should voters consider your opinion, as a comedian.”
Midge wobbles her shoulders. “To paraphrase a fellow comedian, you want people to think and laugh. I believe if you’re laughing while you’re thinking, you tend to consider things in a different way. That’s what I’m trying to do for Senator Kennedy.”
Despite himself, Lenny smiles at Midge referencing him.
“Do your new political leanings have anything to do with your friendship with Lenny Bruce? Or is friendship the right word?”
Oh fuck. Kitty and his mother turn and look at him. Oh God, Lenny’s blushing.
Midge never skips a beat. “Do you know something I don’t? Lenny has been a dear friend for many years.”
Montgomery laughs and backtracks. “You were arrested for contempt of court during his obscenity trial—"
“You know I can’t tell that story,” says Midge bashfully. “I said a word I certainly can’t repeat here.”
Lenny was back in the court sitting with his lawyer, feeling so awful he was numb. Then suddenly hearing a yell from the gallery, more intensity than lilt, You motherfuckers! He had it out with her for that one. Lenny had been doing quite fine in his deep hole all by himself. He hadn’t needed her getting stuck down there with him. I am not getting stuck with you! I can’t let them get away with this!
The audience hollers, fully aware of what Midge said. “Settle down,” says Montgomery. “We can’t get in trouble with our sponsors.”
“Since you brought it up, I don’t regret my outburst. Even if the police ruined my shoes hauling me out of court. My community service sentence is what created No Mama Alone after all.”
There’s more applause and Montgomery announces a commercial break.
“What word did Midge say, Dad,” asks Kitty.
Lenny raises an eyebrow. “How old are you again?”
Notes:
It's Midnight at the Ambassador next time.
Thanks for reading <3
Chapter 3: Midnight at the Ambassador
Summary:
Lenny and Midge finally meet up. There's an election.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
June 4, 1968, a Tuesday.
Democratic Primary Elections in California and South Dakota. Frontrunners include Senator Eugene McCarthy of Minnesota, Vice President Hubert Humphrey, and Senator Robert F. Kennedy of New York.
Midge called again that morning, just to make sure Lenny hadn’t forgotten their plans. He scoffed at the possibility of him ever forgetting her. She told him to take a cab and leave early. The Ambassador Hotel would be crowded.
That night he puts on the suit and fusses over his appearance more than he has in ages. Kitty delights in teasing him a little on the cab ride to his mother’s. It’s a school night. While Lenny thinks his daughter is capable of being by herself, he feels better knowing she’s not.
Kitty rushes past her grandmother with her overnight bag at the front door.
“So who’d you end up voting for,” Lenny asks.
His mother winks. “I’m not telling.”
Lenny’s been to the Ambassador Hotel before. He peers out his cab window as they go past the giant white sign at the entrance in case you ever forget you’re at The Ambassador Hotel. The expansive building is still a lavish Mediterranean style escape. The awnings haven’t fallen off or blown away. As the cab gets closer to the entrance, Lenny sees that Kennedy has taken over. Bunting. Posters. A red, white, and blue extravaganza.
Midge told Lenny she’d find him in the lobby. He’s grateful he’s tall and will hopefully stand out. Because it’s packed. Everyone is going someplace in the hotel and Lenny has turned into a stone in a busy stream. Why don’t they all just relax, he wonders. The polls are closed. People could just drink until the results are announced.
“Lenny!”
He barely has anytime to turn at the sound of his name before there’s a blur of brown hair and floral patterns launching herself into his arms. Holding Midge is a jolt of familiarity that’s so happiness inducing it hurts. The shape of her body, her perfume, and the press of her lips to his cheek. Fuck. He’s missed her more than he thought he could.
Midge wiggles out of his arms to get a look at him. Her hair is the same as it was on the talk show. She’s got on another mini dress. Sleeveless with orange florals. Black boots. On the strap of her dress is a button with Kennedy’s face on it. Great, a deterrent for any accidental and respectful peaking at Midge’s breasts. Bobby’s beady little eyes judging Lenny from her cleavage. Scram, asshole. Go back to your wife!
“Your hair,” he says. “It’s huge. Are you renting it out to a mama bird? I know how much you care about single mothers.” He points close to her poof, knowing better than to touch it.
She’s got the expression that says he’s getting under her skin. A certain quirk of her mouth. She reaches up and grabs him under the jaw, her thumb wiping away any lipstick her kiss left behind.
“Still don’t know how I feel about the beard.”
Lenny straightens his tie. “It adds to my appeal as a countercultural icon.”
“Are the glasses part of your disguise too?”
“I actually need them. Ruined my eyes reading all the books your father keeps sending me.”
Midge rolls her eyes and flips her hair over her shoulder. It’s longer than Lenny’s ever seen before. “I hope you know Papa has driven everyone up the wall talking about you. ‘Lenny says this. Lenny says that.’ He brought Moishe one of your albums during his last hospital stay.” She grins. “Joel wasn’t pleased.”
Lenny tries not to laugh too hard at the ex-husband’s expense. He can laugh at any of the jokes Midge tells about Joel. But it’s dangerous territory for Lenny to start making his own.
The conversation dries up and they stand there basking in each other’s presence. Midge doesn’t have to run on stage. Lenny’s not plotting an escape. They’re not in court or a hospital. They are just together. Midge puts a hand on his arm.
“You look good, Lenny.”
“It’s the new suit.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she says gently.
“I know.”
Midge slips her arm through his. “Come on, I gotta show you around.”
The Kennedy Campaign has taken over the Embassy Ballroom. The cavernous space is full of more bunting, more posters, more people. There are almost too many. Lenny’s barely had to interact with more than two people a day. Crowds used to be his thing. He’s gotten rusty.
He and Midge get a table and she goes and gets drinks. Lenny watches her return. She can only take a few steps before a person stops her to talk, and then another. Of course, Midge would know everyone. She’s got the charm. He knew, Christ almost ten years ago, back in the precinct that September morning when she bailed him out for the first time.
After a few more stops, Midge sits back at the table.
“What?” she says.
“You’re very popular.” He means it as a compliment.
“I’ve cooked a lot of briskets.” She gets out cigarettes, one for her and one for him. “The smell travels far. People come to chat.”
As soon as Midge says that a lanky man in a dark suit waves at her from across the ballroom. She returns the gesture.
“You know everyone,” Lenny comments.
“Almost everyone. That’s Paul. He works for the auto union.” Midge exhales. The cigarette is stained with her lipstick. “What do you think? I think this’s so exciting! Isn’t it exciting! History happening around us!”
“I think there are too many people in here,” says Lenny. “Who knew California was so crowded.”
“This is nothing. You need to get out more.”
“I do go out. I get groceries. Visit Kitty’s school. I cook, I clean. I really do have an apron this time. I go to my meetings and annoy Rodger. He’s the schmuck in charge,” Lenny does his best impression of the man. “Goddamn it Leonard, stop making people laugh. This’s supposed to be serious.”
Midge giggles. “You’re practically overscheduled.” She tilts her glass, looking down at it thoughtfully. “Do you miss it? Comedy?”
“I don’t miss getting arrested. I certainly miss the thrill of being behind the microphone, but,” Lenny chooses his words carefully, “I’ve gotten used to the quiet. It’s kinda nice.”
Midge starts to reach across the table for him, but someone else has decided to talk to her. A young woman stops to compliment Midge on her dress, before asking who Lenny is.
“This is Leonard,” begins Midge. “He breeds miniature longhorns in Colorado.”
The woman’s eyes go wide. “I didn’t know they came in miniature!”
“Yes,” says Lenny, trying not to grin too much. “The cattle have to be small enough to fit in a carry-on. The horns get in the way otherwise.”
The woman’s expression suggests she understands this is a joke, if she knows Midge this is to be expected. Once she’s gone, Lenny and Midge burst out laughing.
“Miniature longhorns?”
“Farm animals are always funny. Have you been to a petting zoo? I had to stop a goat from eating Esther’s hair once.”
Midge continues to make up funny jobs for Lenny when people ask for introductions. He’s a Scandinavian cruise ship plumber. Or a designer of clothing for toy poodles. To one very confused gentleman Lenny is an unemployed mime. He pretended to turn out his empty pockets and cry for that one. Midge is intimidatingly good at stating these absurd claims with a straight face. People almost believe her for two seconds. Meanwhile Lenny has to try not to laugh, because Midge is always fucking funny. He won’t break and ruin her performances. Even the ones with the smallest of audiences.
At one point Midge gets up, leaving Lenny alone. The couple who were told he was a cruise ship plumber are staring at him a table away, whispering to each other. Lenny gives them a raised eyebrow. The man mouths “Aren’t you Lenny Bruce?” while his girlfriend/wife tries to pull him away.
Lenny shrugs like they got him, then puts a finger to his lips and shushes. The pair laugh. Maybe he still is a comedian after all.
“A discotheque?” says Lenny. “You’re making that up.”
He and Midge have snuck out of the Ambassador to walk through the grounds. The June weather is still hot at night. Lenny can’t be a gentleman and graciously offer Midge his jacket unless he wants her to melt. He’s flung it over his shoulder, along with rolling up his sleeves and loosening his tie. Lenny is skeptically listening to Midge explain the afterparty plans.
“No, and you’re coming with me so I can introduce you to Bobby and Ethel.”
Lenny turns and walks backwards. “I don’t know if I’m dressed correctly for that kind of place. I think I need different pants.”
Midge rolls her eyes. “You’re going to be fine! I told them I was bringing a guest.”
“Warn them you mean?”
“They like me, remember? Especially Ethel. She’s got some stories. Ask her about saving malnourished horses. Or sending J. Edgar Hoover hate mail.”
“I think they put you in a file for that.”
Midge gently nudges him. “So you’re coming with me?”
“Okay,” says Lenny, surrendering. “You gotta answer one question about Kennedy.”
They stop walking. “What?”
“Please tell me you’ve done a bit about cheating husbands in front him.”
Midge grins. “You bet. He squirmed. Ethel laughed.”
“You’ve got more balls than a US Marine.”
“Not sure about that last I checked.”
“I’m still amazed you’ve ended up here,” Lenny gestures towards the hotel.
“It could be worse,” says Midge. “Sophie Lennon’s endorsed Nixon. Put that on your plate!”
Lenny scoffs. “I’ll throw out the damn plate.”
They start walking again and Midge slips her hand into his. The move is so natural, Lenny doesn’t even register it until a minute’s passed. He gives a squeeze to show Midge he’s noticed.
“I’ll be back in New York for my birthday,” says Midge. “The big three-five.”
“Really? You don’t look a day over fifty.”
“And you should come visit. Bring Kitty.”
He slows and Midge starts pulling him along. “I don’t know.”
“I promised her a real big city shopping trip. I can’t have her think I’ve forgotten.”
“I…I have deadlines,” Lenny says, unconvincing to his own ears.
Midge stops and faces him. “Why are you avoiding me?” She pokes him in the chest.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“You’re doing a pretty good impression of it,” says Midge, glaring up at him with those big eyes of hers. “Why have we barely seen each other in the past two years?”
“Midge…”
Lenny sighs and drags the hand not clutched by Midge down his face. How does he begin to explain how this works in his head? Most days he’s fine, really. He’s got his good habits, or he’s honestly too busy to feel awful. Other times he feels like he’s hanging onto his sobriety by his fingernails. And when Lenny inevitably implodes his own life, he wants Midge as far away from it as possible. Because they are not in a relationship. She’s not his girlfriend or his wife. Depending on what state we’re in. Lenny loves Midge far too much to hurt her with his own shortcomings. Again.
“Are you still moping about what you said to me?” she says.
Not quite where he was going, but sure let’s go with that. “It was very cruel.”
“Oh, come on Lenny. You were going through withdrawal. I never took what you said seriously. Water off a duck’s back.”
“Glad one of us can be a duck,” he looks down.
“Hey, all you said was that I was a ‘dumb know it all bitch,’ which doesn’t even make sense. I’ve been called worse by drunk hecklers!”
“But you were helping me, which I did not ask you to do by the way,” he adds with a point of his finger.
“You needed someone. I knew what I was getting into. I wasn’t reading Vogue in your hospital room. I had several informative books hidden behind it.”
Lenny opens his mouth to comment but fails to speak. Midge continues to be layers of surprise, even after ten years. He sighs. “I didn’t want my problems to be yours.”
“Too bad, you’re my friend and I love you. You are absolved from feeling bad about this,” she finishes with a wave of her hand.
“Absolved? Those Catholics have really rubbed off on you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not converting. I don’t like the humor.”
Lenny laughs and kisses Midge’s hand before they stroll back into the hotel.
Midge and Lenny are back at a different table, their previous one taken over in their absence. Lenny checks his watch, it’s almost midnight. Midge is talking to another woman about Vietnam, while Lenny finishes his Manhattan.
“…I’m going to hope the war is over by the time my son is eighteen,” she says.
Lenny nods, mostly to himself. He remembers the picture Midge sent him of Ethan’s Bar Mitzvah last year. The kid, a scrawny specimen of boyhood, looking like a smaller version of his father, minus a glee around the eyes that’s all Midge. Sending Ethan to war would be evil. Lenny knows firsthand how true that is.
A man comes to the table and whispers in Midge’s ear before moving on. Her face lights up.
“Something happen?” Lenny asks.
“Bobby’s won! Here and South Dakota!” Midge gets up and pushes in her chair.
“Where are you going?”
“He’s gonna give a speech, don’t worry I’m not bringing you with me.” Midge fishes around in her purse. “Here’s a key. I’ll meet you in my room after it’s over. I gotta change.” She tosses it to him.
“So you need a new outfit for the discotheque and I don’t?”
“It won’t take long,” Midge pats him on the shoulder.
“Don’t get lost.”
Midge turns and smiles. “I know a lot of short cuts. Susie and I looked at the blueprints last time we were here.”
Lenny raises an eyebrow as Midge walks away. He will have to ask for an explanation later.
June 5, 1968.
Kennedy comes out and gives a victory speech in the ballroom. He’s surrounded by the press and flashing cameras. Mrs. Kennedy smiling over his shoulder. Lenny blinks and realizes he sees Midge in the background. The big hair and orange dress does make her stand out. He guesses she must have been grabbed on her way to change.
Lenny fishes the cherry out of his drink as he listens to the victory speech. It’s very nice all things considered. If this makes Midge happy, Lenny will be happy too.
The speech is wrapping up. “So my thanks to all of you and on to Chicago and let's win there.” Kennedy smiles and makes the peace sign. Lenny claps, mostly genuinely. Just in case the man looks out and recognizes him later.
The entourage starts to disperse, but the ballroom is just too crowded. Lenny decides he’s going to wait until it filters out to head to Midge’s room. It will be gracious if he gives her privacy to choose an outfit. They will never leave the hotel room if Midge decides to ask Lenny for his opinions on clothes…
He watches Midge talking happily to Mrs. Kennedy. The two women squeeze each other’s hands before Midge hurries off. Lenny sees her go through a kitchen exit. A few moments later, Kennedy and company go the same way.
This has been much better than he feared. Lenny still has to brave meeting Kennedy at a discotheque of all places. Lenny can’t imagine him dancing, but hey it will give him new material if he’s ever a comedian again.
As for Midge, maybe Lenny was being too careful. There are never enough I love yous and--
Popping. Lenny’s blood goes cold. It’s the unmistakable sound of gunfire. Of course this could happen. Nowhere is safe, it’s absurd to think any place is. It’s the biggest fucking joke. An illusion. Lenny almost died in his own bathroom. Medgar Evers got shot in front of his home. Malcolm X died in a ballroom. They haven’t even caught the motherfucker who shot Dr. King. And wasn’t it a beautiful day in Dallas four years ago?
He has to find Midge. Midge who knows the shortcuts. Midge who can’t go anywhere in the hotel without being stopped. Midge who’s friends with the biggest fucking target and his wife. Boy, is Midge Maisel fucked, Lenny hears his own voice say, gleeful and rotten from another life.
The tenor of the ballroom is changing. Lenny’s sure as hell not the only vet here. He works his way around the tables. Shoving some asshole from his path as the mood turns to panic. Lenny goes through towards the kitchen. He needs to put his hands on Midge.
Notes:
I did not make up the discotheque. That was a real plan.
I almost had Moishe die during the interim, but I'm not an asshole. He's just in fragile health instead.
Thanks for reading <3
Chapter 4: Someone to Watch Over Me
Summary:
“Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me.”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lenny moves deeper into the kitchen. He knows he’s going the right way because he can hear screaming. He stops to try to confirm Midge’s path with a member of the Ambassador’s staff.
“I’m looking for my friend,” he asks the bewildered woman. She has her hand pressed to her chest, fingertips covering the embroidery on her uniform. “Short, brunette, wearing an orange dress with flowers. Did she come through here?”
The woman nods. “Yes, I think so.” She sounds out of breath. “She said hello. And then Senator Kennedy, came this way…” She points through the kitchen and out into a passageway. “Oh God.”
Lenny thanks her and keeps going. He’s sweating. It’s so fucking hot. He reaches up and loosens his tie, feeling his pulse hammering under his thumb. He gets to the passageway. Equipment already making it narrow without the press of people worsening it. There’s a huddle of reporters around something or someone that Lenny can’t see yet. Cameras are flashing.
“Stop taking pictures!” a woman yells. “Please stop, for God’s sake!”
The voice is not Midge’s. Lenny is both relieved and horrified at this. Reporters have jumped up on tables, hitting their heads on the drop ceiling. Panels begin to slip out of their frames.
“Midge!” Lenny shouts. There’s no sign of her. Maybe he’s gone the wrong way. Maybe she’s already gone through the corridor, and now she’s looking for him in the ballroom or the lobby or her room and not this godforsaken place. Because when a man steps to the left, Lenny sees Kennedy on the floor. And it’s bad.
Lenny only looks at him for a second. But it’s long enough to see the pool of blood around his head. A jacket’s been tucked under him. Kennedy’s expression will stick with Lenny. The bastard doesn’t even look surprised, like this was to be expected. Damn, he and Lenny could have talked about the nature of inevitability.
Lenny doesn’t know if he can keep pushing forward. He doesn’t want to step on Kennedy. He just wants to find Midge. Sweat is rolling down his face, stinging his eyes. He wants to be out of his jacket. Out of this hallway. It’s too humid. Too loud with panic and voyeurism. The crowd moves enough for Lenny to see through clearly. Kennedy. Still alive with his shirt opened and a rosary in his fist. Mrs. Kennedy leaning over him protectively. Barely a distance away, a man lies motionless with a straw hat under his head. Lenny recognizes him as Paul, the guy who waved to Midge earlier.
And a few feet further from Paul on the floor is a pair of black booted legs and a blur of orange florals. Lenny’s heart drops right out of him.
“Midge!” He pushes hard on the man standing in front of him, earning a harsh retort Lenny doesn’t understand. The crowd keeps pressing in. Lenny must have shouted loud enough because Mrs. Kennedy looks up at him.
“I have to get to Midge,” Lenny demands, pointing beyond Kennedy.
Mrs. Kennedy looks over her shoulder for a moment. She stands, hands raised plaintively. “I want you all to back up,” she says to the reporters as she gets closer to them. “My husband needs air. Back up!”
She’s not facing Lenny, but Mrs. Kennedy extends a hand to him, beckoning. The reporters part and Lenny steps forward. Mrs. Kennedy grabs him by the wrist to guide him through. He’s so careful about where he puts his feet.
“Thank you,” Lenny says to Mrs. Kennedy. Her face is steel wrapped in fear. She doesn’t respond.
The woman is Midge. Some kid, who barely looks old enough to shave let alone vote, is kneeling down next to her. He’s put his jacket under her head. Midge is awake and her eyes find Lenny’s. Then he notices that the kid is pressing down on the right side on Midge’s chest, blood leaking between his fingers.
“Christ.” Lenny immediately slips out of his jacket and places it on Midge, remembering fragments about people going into shock unless they were covered.
“Lenny, what…” Midge’s voice is quiet, and he can barely hear her over everything else.
Not that Lenny wants to shove the kid out of the way, but that’s sort of what he does. Telling him he’s got this now. The kid, frightened, agrees right away.
“I’m- I’m gonna find her some water.”
Lenny covers the bullet hole, relived he can feel Midge’s heartbeat under his palm. He sits above her head, one leg tucked in, the other out to prevent people from walking onto Midge. She’s still holding her handbag in her left hand. Slowly, she places her other one over Lenny’s.
“Of course you’d find me,” Midge says.
“You bet.” Lenny brushes her hair from her neck, stringy with sweat. He squeezes her shoulder.
“You always pop up… when I least…expect it.” She smiles feebly.
“Midge, don’t talk. Just look at me, and we’ll wait to get out of here.” Lenny speaks like he knows what’s happening. An ambulance must have been called by now. A woman stumbles past clutching her head, blood dripping.
“I didn’t see…” starts Midge. “I just turned around… and… Bobby?” It’s a question.
“He’s awake too. Don’t worry about him,” says Lenny, hoping that Midge can’t see how grim it is. They know each other too well.
“At least…red goes with orange.”
Lenny inhales sharply. “Stop making jokes.”
Tears rolls down the sides of Midge’s face. “This could be…my last chance.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” He thumbs away one of the tears.
“Lenny, I’m scared.”
That’s enough to make him lose it. He will do that later. Alone. Once he and Midge are out of here. For now, a few tears escape and fall.
“I’m not going anywhere. No leaving.”
Midge gets paler, which is apparently possible. “I wonder if… Ethan and Esther know… how much I love them.”
“Midge, don’t torture yourself. You got shot.”
“Sometimes I don’t… understand how much… I love them. Jia too… so smart. Definitely got that from her mother.”
Lenny’s chest tightens. “What did I say about making jokes?”
“I don’t listen to you.”
Lenny adjusts the jacket and strokes Midge’s cheek. The only things he can do. Sirens. About fucking time. The kid returns, to Lenny’s surprise, places a wet towel across Midge’s forehead.
“Thank you.” The kid nods and gets jostled down the corridor.
“Lenny, I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.” Midge is barely audible.
“Just wait a little longer.”
“I can’t.” Midge is drifting. Her eyes are blinking. “If this is- I love you.”
“I love you too.” Lenny is close to breaking. Not here. Not when she can watch.
Midge’s eyes close. Her fingers start tapping the back of his hand in a pattern that feels too deliberate to be a reflex.
There’s a clattering behind him. The paramedics have finally arrived. Midge is closest to the exit. She will have to be moved first if they want access to Paul and Kennedy. Thank heaven for small favors.
“I’m with her,” Lenny says once they start checking Midge. He has to move his hand. Lenny almost wipes it on his shirt before he remembers.
Midge is lifted onto a gurney. Lenny finds himself holding her purse and clutching her ankle. Anything to stay connected. For her to know he’s still there.
“You know this woman?” The paramedic asks. This question has a layered meaning. Who are you to each other? Can it be measured and quantified? Is it enough? He and Midge have been so many things. Posting bail friends colleagues mentor/student lovers that one phone call-caregiver, and if Lenny’s being honest, strangers.
“We’re family.”
In the ambulance Lenny holds Midge’s hand between his own. Blood has turned sticky on their skin. The paramedics start cutting her out of her dress. Lenny averts his eyes. She deserves privacy.
The ride eventually ends, and Midge is wheeled out fast though the emergency room doors. Lenny follows. No jacket, but still the handbag. The hospital is as alive as the hotel was. Police and other officials have taken over. Lenny dislikes anything medical from personal experience and tonight makes it worse.
“Sir, are you alright?” a nurse comes up to him, concerned.
Lenny realizes he’s just been standing there. “Excuse me, but where I am?”
“The Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles.”
“I came here with my friend,” he explains, “from the Ambassador Hotel.”
“I think you need medical attention.” She must have seen the blood.
“It’s not mine. Fuck.”
The nurse tells him where there’s a bathroom.
Lenny’s an observer, but he’s going to take the memory of scrubbing Midge’s blood off his hands, picking it out from under his fingernails, into the deepest part of his mind. The place where you stick all the ugly things about yourself, the horrible little things you know you’re capable of. Next door to the failures. Right around the corner from his addictions. (Which are already whispering their nasty little voices at him.)
The water is cold. Cold water is best for blood. Lenny knows this from Midge’s bit about why women make better murderers than men. He takes a paper towel and rubs his face. How the fuck did it get up there? Lenny rolls up his sleeves to hide the stains. Splashes water on his face. What he wants to do is hide. But Midge still needs him.
He returns to where he talked to the nurse. She directs him to the front desk. Lenny finds it busy with panicked friends and family members. Demanding police officers. Reporters asking questions. Lenny gives Midge’s information. Her birthday and address in New York, memorized from post cards and mailing letters to Abe. Lenny gives own name, reiterating that yes, he is Midge’s next of kin. She’s pretended to be his wife plenty of times. Wouldn’t it be rude not to return the favor?
Lenny passes the paperwork to the woman behind the counter.
“Where’s the closest phone booth?”
A part of Lenny hates himself for going through Midge’s handbag, but he doesn’t have enough change to call all the people he has to. He calls his mother first. She’s easiest for him. Besides, there’s a chance she’s still awake. For all Lenny knows, the shooting is being reported.
His mother answers, not sounding tired. Lenny explains what happened. Kennedy got shot and he wasn’t the only one. Midge is in surgery, and it’s all he knows.
“Do you want me to get her things from the Ambassador?” she asks.
“Ma, it’s a crime scene now. It can wait,” he pauses. “Where’s Kitty?”
“Still sleeping. Want me to wake her?”
“No, let her rest. Tell her I love her, and that she doesn’t have to go to school in the morning.”
“I can do that.”
“And,” Lenny sighs, “Can I give Midge’s family your address?
“You don’t need to ask. I do have more towels than you.”
Lenny wishes he could laugh. He hangs up after promising to call back once he learns anything. He checks his watch. It’s after one here in Los Angeles, making it after four in New York. Lenny puts in the coins, thinking that calls in a hospital should be free, especially long distance. He dials the first number he knows off the top of his head. The line rings and rings.
“Jesus Fucking Christ! Don’t you know some of us have to work for a living?”
Susie. Lenny’s almost lightheaded with relief at hearing her voice. “Susie, it’s Lenny in LA—”
“Why the hell you are calling me at this hour?”
Lenny leans his head against the booth. Solid. Affirming. What he’s desperately trying to be. “Susie, you gotta listen to me. Some fucker shot Kennedy and Midge got hit. She’s in surgery.”
Silence. And Lenny’s never known Susie to not have some comment.
“I’m coming right now. Don’t you leave her or I’m gonna rip your balls off.”
“Never.”
“I’m not kidding. I’ve got tiny hands, but they’re strong, asshole.” Susie’s voice quavers on the last word.
Lenny says they’re at the Good Samaritan Hospital and gives Susie his mother’s address.
“I need Joel’s phone number,” he says.
“Would you rather I do that?”
“You gotta plane to catch. I’m not afraid of Joel.”
Susie snorts. “You got it.”
Now that Susie knows, calling Joel is the next logical step. Lenny writes the number on a receipt he finds in Midge’s bag. Over the years he’s tried to get along with Joel. Not made any jokes in front of the man that could be applied to him. Recommended acts for the Button Club. But this will just be another reason for Lenny to be in Joel’s bad books. Like the time Lenny let Esther eat that fourth slice of cake, and the girl ralphed all over her new dress. Or teaching Ethan a (mildly) dirty joke that the kid repeated to all the children at summer camp. Falling in love with Midge. Sleeping with Midge. Making Midge cry.
As with Susie, the phone rings repeatedly before someone answers.
“Hello?” says a woman’s voice. Joel’s wife, the brilliant Mei. Lenny’s always tried to be respectful, and they’ve bonded once or twice, briefly, over being outsiders with the Maisels-Weissmans. It’s good to be on the same side as a woman who knows how to use tiny sharp objects.
“Dr. Lin, this is Lenny in LA. Is Joel there? I need to speak to him.”
“Joel’s not here,” Mei takes a breath. “Moishe had a bad fall two days ago.”
“Is he gonna be okay?”
“Looked worse than it was. But Joel’s helping Shirley rearrange the house. I can give you the number?”
“Look,” says Lenny. “I don’t know how much time there is, but you got to listen to me.”
He repeats what he said to his mother and Susie. Mei asks short follow up questions that Lenny can thankfully answer. What’s the name of the hospital? Where should they stay?
“I’ll call as soon as I get off. Do Abe and Rose know?”
“I’m calling them next.”
“Lenny, do we need to bring Ethan and Esther?”
He knows what Mei’s really asking. Could Midge die?
“Yes, you should.”
After Mei comes the phone call Lenny’s been fearing. Lenny’s talked to Abe about everything. Politics. Fatherhood. The Twilight Zone. Addiction. God. But never Midge. Lenny’s hands shake as he dials the number.
“Weissman residence,” says Abe, voice mumbled by sleep.
“Abe, it’s Lenny. Look…” and Lenny breaks. He takes off his glasses as he cries, not quite alone, at last. The phone drifts away from his ear and he can hear Abe, full of gentleness, asking what’s wrong. Is he somewhere safe?
“It’s not me. Fuck. I wish it was me,” he takes deep breath. Lenny rubs his face, trying to get in control. He thinks of Midge on the floor. He should have gone with her. Maybe it would have been different…
Lenny hears Mrs. Weissman in the background. “It’s Lenny. Yes, him,” Abe explains to his wife. “Lenny, can you tell me what’s happened?”
“Okay.” Lenny pinches the bridge of his nose. “Abe, I’m so sorry, but something’s happened to Midge.”
Lenny explains as he did before. Unlike other things with practice, it’s gotten worse each time. He tries not to break down again when Mrs. Weissman starts crying. Lenny assures Abe he’s not leaving the hospital. Lenny checks that they know his mother’s address and the name of the hospital.
“Thank you, Lenny.”
“I’m sorry Abe.”
“It’s not your fault.” For the first time, Lenny thinks he sounds like an old man.
“Feels like it is.”
Lenny finds a seat near reception and waits. The hospital has only gotten busier. The police patrol the hallways. This is what’s to be expected when some piece of shit shoots a VIP. It’s like some terrible joke. A gunman goes into a kitchen and shoots a politician, a union rep, and a comedian. But there’s no punchline, just a tragedy.
He starts to feel twitchy. A familiar voice whispers in the back of his mind. You’re in a hospital. They have morphine here. I bet you could get some. You can be sneaky.
“Alright, fuck this!” says Lenny, scaring the man sitting next to him. “Not you. I need to make another phone call.”
Lenny calls his sponsor and tells the same fucking story. Peter tells Lenny he did the right thing. Lenny wonders if he gets an award for not going off the deep end.
Time passes. Lenny paces. Smokes until he needs to bum his next one off an orderly. He remembers he has a watch and checks the time. Nearly six am.
A nurse comes and taps him on the shoulder. She’s not the same as the one he spoke to earlier. Must have finished her shift. Lenny follows this new one.
“How’s Midge,” he asks as they get into an elevator.
“Ms. Weissman is out of surgery. She’s lucky. The bullet missed an artery by a few millimeters.”
“So she’s gonna be fine?” Lenny demands.
The elevator dings open. “The doctors are optimistic, but—”
“Not a guarantee.”
“Would you like to sit with her?”
Lenny skeptically eyes up the policeman stationed outside Midge’s room. Like she was the one the gunman was trying to kill. Sure, plenty of people hate comedians. Lenny knows that wholeheartedly. But no one’s ever tried to kill him. Why resort to violence when the law and his own demons can do the dirty work.
Midge is pale and still in the bed. Cannula of oxygen under her nose, wires connecting her to machines. Everything gets blurry and Lenny goes to Midge, avoiding the pity from the nurse. He moves her hair so its not stuck behind her. Lenny thinks of watching Midge put her rollers in before bed. Even letting him try. Be careful, men don’t know how hard it is to have pretty hair.
He bends down and kisses her on the cheek.
“Promised I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Lenny sits in the chair by the bed. He interlaces his hand with Midge’s and waits.
Notes:
I also believe Mei and Joel's kid is a girl.
I used a lot of sources for this, including Life Magazine. Paul Schrade, the auto union rep, is a real person and is still alive.
It's also very important to me that Ethel Kennedy is portrayed well here. Besides the fact that she's still alive, she often gets the short end of the stick in media about the Kennedys. Her requests for no pictures of her dying husband and for reporters to move away did happen. Both events were photographed.
One such photographer, Richard Drew, would also be present at another world changing tragedy. He would take the infamous Falling Man photo on 9/11.
Thank you so much for reading <3
Chapter 5: How to Talk Quietly and Comfort People
Summary:
Midge's family arrives. Lenny does his best.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lenny doesn’t even realize he’s nodded off in the chair until he’s gently shaken awake.
“Lenny, it’s just me.” His mother stands over him, her hands on his shoulders.
He’s sleepy no more, immediately turning to looking at Midge. He’s still gripping her hand. “I shouldn’t have—”
“She’s alright.”
“What are you doing here?” Lenny checks his watch, it’s a little after eight in the morning.
“You said you were going to call once you learned anything,” says his mother, “and after a while, I decided to come here.”
“Sorry, I got distracted.” Midge is the same as when he fell asleep. Still and pale. Lenny guesses he should feel some sort of relief at this. But he’d rather her be awake, making a joke. “Where’s Kitty?”
His mother purses her lips. “I told her to wait in the hallway.”
“You brought her here?” Lenny hisses. Kitty has already spent more time than she should visiting adults in the hospital. Last thing he wants is to give his daughter some sort of a complex.
“I was going to leave her with my neighbor, but she asked to come.”
“You could’ve told her no,” Lenny keeps his voice low in case Kitty is eavesdropping. “What if Midge…” He doesn’t want to finish that thought.
“She’s old enough to make this kind of decision,” his mother says curtly.
On that note, Kitty sticks her head through the doorway. “Can I come in?” Her eyes are large with curiosity.
Lenny’s anger evaporates. “Come on in Sweetheart.”
Kitty immediately goes and hugs him, bursting into tears as she does. Lenny holds her tightly, rubbing his poor little girl’s back. He tries to push away the first memory that comes to mind. Kitty sobbing in Midge’s arms at the thought of leaving him once visitors’ hours were up, during a different crisis at a different hospital. Kitty, far too young to be learning that adults can fail disastrously. Midge had blotted Kitty’s tear stained face with one of her own scarves. Don’t worry, I’m going to take very good care of your dad.
Kitty pulls away from where her face had been buried in Lenny’s shoulder. “Is Midge gonna be okay?” she asks in a sniffle.
Lenny won’t lie to Kitty, as much as he wants to spare her from pain. “I don’t know. The nurse said the doctors are optimistic.”
“That’s good though?”
“It is, but right now we just have to wait.”
His mother lifts up a bag he didn’t notice she was holding. “I’ve brought you a change of clothes, some toiletries, and a toothbrush.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
She lifts the bag higher. “Maybe you would like to use them?”
“I gotta stay with Midge, I promised.”
She looks at him softly. “I think Midge will mind if you don’t take care of yourself. Kitty and I will stay with her.”
Lenny knows arguing would be a lost cause. He takes the bag and leaves in search of a bathroom.
“Go get some food!” His mother calls out after him.
He cleans himself up as best he can and changes into the clean shirt. Lenny doesn’t know what to do with the old one. Can he throw it out? Does he need to keep it as police evidence? He thinks it feels sick holding onto clothing with Midge’s blood on it. But erring on the side of caution, Lenny carefully folds the shirt and places it in the bag.
Lenny returns to Midge’s hospital room with a decent cup of coffee in his hand and a mediocre breakfast in his stomach. He finds his mother over Midge dabbing something on her face. Kitty stands on the other side of the bed, watching intently.
“What are you doing?” Lenny’s not mad, just confused at witnessing a secret ceremony of femininity.
“Taking her makeup off,” says Kitty.
“The last thing Midge will want when she wakes up is ruined skin,” says his mother. “Cold cream will do her good."
Lenny smiles, as it’s the only praise he can give without breaking down again.
He’s returned to his post by the bed. Alone now, since his mother and Kitty are taking their turn at the hospital cafeteria. Midge does look a little better. The smudges around her eyes are gone and her skin appears soft.
Midge’s hand is still tight in his. He wonders if Midge is able to tell. Will she wake up and remember strange dreams of hospital rooms? Fuck. Lenny hasn’t even considered the possibility that Midge may remember the shooting. She said she just turned around and… Her mind could fill in the blanks. Those reporters were taking pictures.
Before Lenny can make himself more miserable thinking about Midge’s experiences, there’s a cry from a figure in the doorway. Susie, rumpled by travel, her hair falling out of its signature ponytail.
“Oh, Jesus Christ Miriam!” Susie is by Midge’s side stroking her head.
“Hey Susie, I’m glad you’re here.”
“The flight fucking sucked!” Susie rants. “I had to sit between two fucking large men with pointy elbows. And they lost my suitcase!” She starts sobbing. “Frank and Nicky were right! She needed a bodyguard.”
Seeing Susie so vulnerable is enough to get Lenny out of his chair. The next thing he knows he’s got his arms around her and Susie’s crying into his chest.
“My mother can call the airline about your suitcase,” he says, because what else is there to?
“If you tell anyone about this,” blubbers the muffled Susie, “I will rip your—”
“Balls off, I’ve been informed.”
“I’ll shove ‘em down your throat!”
“Getting creative, aren’t we?”
Susie steps away and Lenny sees she’s left a tearful imprint of her face on his shirt like a fucked up version of the Shroud of Turin.
Lenny lets Susie have the chair and he props up the wall. His mother and Kitty come back.
“Who the hell are you?” snaps Susie before Lenny can make any introductions.
“You’re Susie!” Kitty claps her hands together eagerly. “I’ve heard stories about you from Midge! You’re amazing!”
Susie acts weirdly flattered to be praised by a child. “What kinda stories?”
“Susie,” says Lenny, finally stepping in. “This is my mother Sally and my daughter Kitty.”
“You gave birth to him?!” Susie points at Lenny.
“It’s what it says on his birth certificate.”
Kitty giggles.
His mother goes to call the airline about Susie’s suitcase. The doctors and nurses come to check on Midge. She’s improving but not out of the woods yet. Lenny asks about Kennedy. The doctors can’t comment on the status of another patient. But they tell him about the gunman. Some little fucker with an uncreative name and a political opinion Lenny’s not gonna touch with a ten foot pole. What really bothers Lenny is how young the asshole is. Twenty-four. A whole life ahead of him and he decides to blow it on attempted murder.
Kitty and Susie have stolen a bench from the hallway and brought it into Midge’s room. The two of them are playing gin rummy. Susie complains that Kitty keeps winning.
Abe and Mrs. Weissman arrive a few minutes later. Mrs. Weissman doesn’t waste time attending to her daughter. Abe talks to Lenny, attempting to explain the problems of their getting to Los Angeles as a sort of coping mechanism.
“There were no available flights for hours, I don’t know how Susie got here first.” Abe explains. He’s either rubbing his hands together or waving them around as he talks. “We ran into Joel and Mei and the children at the airport. Rose said there was just one more seat on our flight, and we couldn’t decide who would take the last seat. So they got a later flight—”
Lenny pats Abe on the shoulder. “Hey, take a breath.”
“I know.” Abe sighs. “It took forever to find Miriam’s room.”
“We’ve been keeping an eye on her, don’t you worry.”
Abe gives him a smile, but it’s more like a grimace. He reaches up and touches Lenny’s face before going to his wife and daughter.
An indeterminate amount of time later Rose Weissman goes over to Lenny and hugs him. She’s never done that before, and Lenny’s almost too shocked to react properly. But he returns the embrace.
“Thank you, Leonard.” The way she says it would sound terse to a stranger’s ear. Lenny knows better.
His mother comes back, Susie’s suitcase will be shipped to her house that evening. Introductions are made. Mrs. Weissman tries to call his mother “Mrs. Marr” and she laughs saying Mrs. Marr is her mother. Sally is fine.
Abe shakes Kitty’s hand, saying he’s so pleased to meet her. Mrs. Weissman seems surprised at her existence, although Lenny thinks Midge must have mentioned Kitty to her mother by now. Mrs. Weissman, to her credit, does call Kitty “a pleasant young lady.”
Susie asks about Midge’s brother and his wife. Noah and Astrid know about the shooting, but they’re living in West Berlin. Abe says they will fly in if they have to. The if hangs in the air like LA smog.
The day continues to drift by. More doctors’ visits. Complaints that there are too many people in Midge’s hospital room. Complaints are ignored. The policeman is given real work to do, the fetching of coffee and bringing of news. Another bench from the hallway is stolen. His mother takes Abe and Mrs. Weissman’s luggage to her house and returns afterwards.
In the late evening, Joel and Mei arrive with Ethan and Esther.
“Where’s Jia,” asks Mrs. Weissman.
“She’s staying with Archie and Imogene,” says Joel.
“She wanted to come,” says Mei. “Finding a flight for four people is unfortunately easier than finding one for five.”
Joel is colorless and miserable. Mei is much shorter than him, but in Lenny’s opinion she’s holding him up. It’s been years since Lenny’s seen either of Midge’s children. He used to play with them sometimes, until. Lenny, I can’t have you around my children if you’re high. Ethan is almost as tall as his dad, what the hell are they feeding that kid. Esther is poised under the circumstances, a miniature Midge (a midgeniture). Only a daughter of Midge would still look nice after a cross country flight. The family soon surround Midge’s bed.
Lenny decides to give Midge’s children and ex-husband some privacy. He steps out into the hallway. Maybe he can convince the policeman to give him a cigarette.
The policeman does not give him a cigarette and Lenny ranks the encounter as one of his more annoying interactions with the police. He feels twitchy. At least he can be proud of himself that his desire is only for nicotine.
Susie sticks her head out of the room and waves at him.
“Earth to Lenny, they’re asking for you.”
He steps back in, expecting some sort of explanation. Esther bounces over and gives him a hug.
“Thank you for helping Mama, Lenny,” she says, peering up at him.
“Of course, sweetheart.”
He always got along better with Esther than Ethan. Partly because she’s a little girl and Lenny has one of those at home, and mostly because Esther is eager to please and delights at having an audience. He attended many doll tea parties than ended in convoluted plots and serious betrayals. Lenny! I’m talking!
Ethan gives him a brief wave. He’s entered the monosyllabic teenage boy years already, answering “yes” or “no” depending on what questions his father or stepmother ask.
Lenny’s mother announces that she will be taking Mei and the children (his included) back to the house. Neither Ethan or Esther want to leave and both beg to stay. Their father reminds them they will return to the hospital first thing in the morning. Lenny wonders, his heart unsettled, if Joel wants them away in case Midge passes during the night.
“Dad, can I skip school again tomorrow,” asks Kitty when she hugs him goodbye.
“Fine. Just make sure you get all your assignments done. No failing 7th grade.”
Goodbyes are said, and his mother guides Mei and company out the door. Ethan takes one last look at his mother. Poor kid. Abe, Mrs. Weissman, and Susie go to find dinner. Lenny returns to his spot by Midge, holding her hand again. It takes him a moment to realize he and Joel are alone.
The man is pacing around the room, the anger radiating off his body. Lenny gets it, and if Joel where not Joel he’d feel more sympathy. Because Joel is searching for a punching bag. The gunman is in an LA county jail, where he will remain until he’s tried and fried. Kennedy is somewhere else in the hospital, fragile as all hell. So, Lenny is looking pretty punchable.
Maybe Lenny is being too hard on Joel. He loves Midge too. Still, Lenny is trying not to remember something Joel said. Not to Lenny, but about him. A nice little dagger of a sentence that actually hurt Lenny’s feelings. Lenny had been trying to sleep after spending the afternoon enjoying all the bodily functions that go haywire during withdrawal. Midge had been in the other room on the phone, thinking he was unconscious.
“He is not a sunk cost fallacy, Joel!” Midge said and slammed the phone down.
Ouch. Lenny pretended he never heard it. After his nap, Midge was all cheer. Trying her best to get him to eat soup without vomiting it all back up. He already felt miserable enough without bringing up Joel’s comment.
However, Lenny tries not to be a dick in return. For Midge’s sake.
“How’s your father?” he asks.
“Fine,” snaps Joel. “He got dizzy and tumbled down the stairs. Pop still wanted to fly over and see Midge.” He stops pacing. “How do you know about my father?”
“Because your wife told me when I called.”
“So what happened?” Joel’s tone says this is an interrogation. Alright, Lenny will play along.
“Midge went off to change, and I guess she got swept up with Kennedy’s entourage. She was ahead of him. The gunman came out and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and—”
“Why weren’t you with her?” demands Joel.
Lenny raises an eyebrow. “Because she didn’t ask me to? And I found her as soon as I heard the gunshots.”
Joel paces again. “You should’ve been with her!”
“What?” Lenny’s getting angry, the feeling overdue. “Am I supposed to expect a crazy asshole to show up at all times?”
“She never should’ve been there. I told her working for Kennedy was a bad idea!”
“Thankfully Midge does not listen to you.” Not that Midge always listened to Lenny, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to admit that to Joel.
“Too bad, cause then she would’ve stayed far away from you!”
Ah, there it is. Being the punching bag. Lenny almost wants to laugh. Midge told him years ago that Joel had once been a huge fan of his.
“Yup, of course this is somehow my fault,” says Lenny icily. “Get over yourself.”
“Well, at least I’m not some dope addict!” says Joel, full of his own righteousness.
“Sure, but it’s better than being the schmuck who fucked his secretary!”
“Enough!” shouts Mrs. Weissman.
Both Lenny and Joel startle and turn. Mrs. Weissman stands in the doorway, hands on her hips. Susie watches from around her elbow, enjoying herself.
“Rose,” says Joel, trying to be conciliatory.
“I will not have you two bickering over Miriam’s beside!”
“He started it.” It’s an immature thing to say, but Lenny thinks he’s allowed after everything.
“I don’t care who started it! This stops immediately.” Rose enters the room and goes to Joel. Lenny half expects half wants her to grab him by the ear like a little boy. Instead, she drags Joel over to where Lenny is sitting. “Now shake hands and apologize.”
He and Joel shake hands, briefly, mumbling I’m sorrys.
Susie snorts. “I can’t believe I missed the fight.”
June 6, 1968.
Lenny wakes up because his arm is numb. He’s sitting on one of the benches with Susie. She’s gripping his arm like a pillow, snoring gently. Another thing he must keep secret or Susie will make good on her ball ripping threat.
Joel is asleep in the chair by Midge’s bed. Abe and Mrs. Weissman are on the other bench. Abe’s head is tilted against the wall, his wife leaning on his shoulder. Lenny hopes the bench is more comfortable here than the ones they shared in jail. Mrs. Weissman continues to wear the same outfit as before, her bedtime routine abandoned. Lenny hadn’t believed Midge when she brought it up in a set…
Lenny checks his watch. It’s well after two in the morning. Joel is awake too, blinking drowsily. Lenny pauses. There’s a certain unexplainable change in the air. Like a room that’s suddenly become too hot or too cold. There’s a chatter or a hum in the background of the hospital. From his expression, Joel notices it too.
“Somethings different,” says Lenny.
“I can tell.” Joel gets up. “I’m gonna find out.”
He leaves and returns a few minutes later, ashen faced and grim.
“They say Kennedy’s dead.”
Lenny closes his eyes. “Shit.”
“They’re gonna announce it in a few minutes.”
Thoughts come to Lenny, unwelcome and invasive. All those poor children. The baby that will never know their father. Mrs. Kennedy trying to comfort her husband. Her ignored requests for the dignity of a dying man. Her act of kindness towards Lenny and Midge.
And Midge. So proud of what she was doing. Only for it to end like this. Telling her is going to hurt.
Next Time: Midge wakes up.
Notes:
Robert F. Kennedy did die from his injuries 26 hours after the shooting, surrounded by his wife and family. He never regained consciousness.
When my cousin was little she used to get people's attention by shouting "I'm talking!" I borrowed this for Esther.
Thank you for reading!
Chapter 6: The Disappointment of Survivors’ Guilt
Summary:
Midge wakes up and begins her complicated recovery. Lenny looses his beard.
Notes:
Hello all! I'm sorry this took a while to update. I will admit it's been hard to write about a fictionalized reaction to a real gun violence tragedy while mass shootings are a daily horrifying occurrence in my country. Guns are evil.
I'm expecting "All Things are Temporary" will have at least two to three more chapters.
Thank you so much for reading! I adore reading all your comments.
Be safe and well. ~ Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The rest of the early morning moves in a haze. Lenny can’t go back to sleep for more than a few minutes. He thinks of Kennedy and jolts awake, needing to know for sure Midge is still breathing. Joel is the same. He won’t sit and Lenny watches him pace back and forth across the floor in front of the bed. In a different time and place, Lenny would tell Joel the constant motion is driving him up the fucking wall. But he leaves it. He’s got more disturbing thoughts in his head.
Susie continues to sleep. Lenny can barely move his fingers. He won’t deprive Susie of a little comfort. Lenny won’t admit aloud it’s nice to be near another person. Grounding. He’s thankfully not thinking about morphine, just his own mortality. He and Kennedy are/were the same age. And look who got to outsmart death? A whole parallel version of the last day worms its way into Lenny’s imagination. He would’ve been polite to Kennedy, made his wife laugh. He and Midge would’ve danced. Then he’s sure either of them would’ve come up with the idea of leaving the discotheque early and going back to the Ambassador. Maybe Lenny would’ve asked to visit Midge in Chicago. You can write a book from anywhere…
It’s a fucking stupid fantasy.
Eventually Susie, Abe, and Mrs. Weissman wake up. Joel breaks the news. Everything becomes quieter. As if they will all be punished for making too much noise. No one brings up how to tell Midge.
His mother brings back Mei and the children. Lenny notices Kitty’s carrying a beach bag, when Ethan and Esther settle in, she distributes a copy of Nancy Drew and a potholder loom to them. Esther starts reading and Ethan fiddles with the loops. Lenny takes Kitty down to the cafeteria, just the two of them. Not a great place for a Dad and Daughter day out, but it will have to do.
Kitty nibbles on a bag of chips as they sit across the table from each other.
“Do you think Senator Kennedy’s funeral will be on TV?” she asks.
“Probably.”
“I’m kinda glad I’m missing school. Sometimes it gets so sad talking about current events. We spent a whole social studies class talking about Dr. King,” Kitty explains glumly.
Lenny nods, there’s nothing for him to say. To try to lessen Kitty’s understanding of the world at large would be an insult to her intelligence. She’s perceptive like her old man.
“I saw you bring things for Ethan and Esther,” he asks instead. The children had met before once, briefly. Lenny had Kitty with him in the city and Midge suggested a day in the park. The three were all so little, he never asked if Kitty remembered the time she and Ethan tried to pet a duck.
Kitty smiles bashfully. “Yeah, hospitals are really boring. You gotta sit for hours and there’s nothing to do when people are sleeping.”
Lenny knows she’s speaking from experience and his heart breaks a little. “You’re a good kid, you know that? I’m very proud of you.”
“Thanks Dad.”
When they get up to walk back to Midge’s room, Kitty holds his hand. Lenny bends down and kisses the top of her head.
The gathered rotate their positions throughout the day. Everyone has their dedicated time sitting next to Midge. Susie leaves to make long distance calls to Dinah in New York. Abe jots down ideas in a notebook. Mrs. Weissman plays cards with her new friend Sally. Ethan makes a lopsided potholder. Kitty and Esther start whispering in each other’s ears, a tight girlhood friendship already established. Mei sits and has her turn with Nancy Drew, her husband’s sleeping head resting on her shoulder. Lenny wishes he could take a shower. Clean clothes from home and toweling himself down in the bathroom sink is not the same. But he’s not leaving Midge.
In the afternoon, the doctors throw everyone out to examine her. In what feels like ages, there’s good news. Midge will recover. Lenny’s almost delirious with relief, he almost misses the details. Physical therapy. Clean stitches. The doctors don’t want her traveling for a while.
“My daughter has plenty of friends in Los Angeles,” says Mrs. Weissman. “She can stay with Sally.”
“My house has a lot of stairs,” she warns. “It’s probably better Midge stays with Lenny.”
Now that is news to him. Lenny stares at his mother, thinking she’s going him a wink or an acknowledgement she’s trying “to help” him. There’s none. Well, his apartment is all on one floor.
Close to nine at night, Lenny and Abe are the only ones in Midge’s room. Abe is frowning over his notes in the chair by the bed. Lenny has picked up Kitty’s copy of Nancy Drew. The detective is a pretty good role model for young girls. A real go-getter. He wonders if Midge ever read them in her youth. Lenny turns the page and sees a woman in black standing in the doorway, her handbag clutched before her. It takes him a moment to realize it’s Ethel Kennedy.
Lenny stands immediately, Abe doing the same. “Mrs. Kennedy—”
“We… we are flying back to New York,” she says, tentatively stepping into the room. She’s watching Midge carefully, grief carved into her expression. “I wanted to say goodbye.”
“Mrs. Kennedy, I am so sorry about your husband,” says Abe.
“Thank you. I’m glad everyone else is going to recover. Bobby wouldn’t have wanted anyone to die for him.”
A tall, narrow looking man tries to follow Mrs. Kennedy into the room. She turns and dismisses him. “I’m fine George,” she says. He steps aside back into the hallway.
Lenny doesn’t know if he’s supposed to say anything, or if he should say anything. His first impulse is to keep quiet. But his second tells him he’d a dick to a widow if he doesn’t.
“Mrs. Kennedy, Midge spoke very highly of you and your husband,” he says.
She gives a nod of gratitude or acknowledgement. Lenny can’t tell. Mrs. Kennedy places her hand on Midge’s arm and leans down to her ear. She’s whispering, and Lenny does his best to tune out the private words.
Mrs. Kennedy stands. “I hope everyone at the hospital has been treating you well.”
Abe assures her that they have. Then she’s gone.
June 7, 1968.
This time Lenny sleeps on the bench with his chin in his hand and his arm free of Susie’s iron grip. She attempted to use his leg as a footrest when they settled for the night. Words were exchanged. Susie’s tiny feet verses Lenny’s long legs. The result was her curled away from him on the bench, snoring hard on purpose.
And now Susie is vigorously shaking him awake.
“Lenny, you sonofabitch!” she hisses.
“What the fuck?” he slurs.
Lenny’s eyes open fully. Midge is tilted towards them and she’s blinking, awareness on her face turning to fear.
He and Susie duck around the sleeping Joel to get to her bedside. Susie’s holding Midge’s hand and Lenny leans over to stroke her hair.
“Miriam, you’re okay,” says Susie like she’s going to start crying again.
Midge’s mouth opens and closes like she’s trying to remember how to talk.
“Hey,” says Lenny gently, “you’re at the Good Samaritan Hospital. Susie’s right, you’re gonna be just fine.”
Midge’s eyes glisten and she nods.
“Ethan and Esther are staying with my mother. Do you want us to wake Joel and your parents?” Lenny asks.
Midge shakes her head.
“What do you want?” asks Susie, a little of her usual bite back in her voice.
“Stay,” breathes Midge.
Lenny and Susie stay exactly as they are until Midge falls asleep again.
After a few hours, Midge is taken off oxygen and carefully propped up into a sitting position, her right arm in a sling. She’s dazed but fully awake. Aware enough to enjoy a hug from her parents and Susie. Joel awkwardly gives her a kiss on the cheek. Lenny stands off to the side. He wants to be polite and have her other loved ones say hello first. As much as he truly desires to hold her close and never let go.
“How are you feeling, Miriam?” asks Mrs. Weissman, a little more nervously than such a question is usually asked.
“Tired.” Midge rubs her forehead and then pushes her hair around. “How long was I out?”
“A couple of days,” says Joel.
“How long is a couple of days?” Midge directs this question towards Lenny.
He steps forward. “It’s June 7th.”
Midge sharply inhales. “Okay.”
“The children are here,” says Abe in the hopes of a distraction. “They’re staying with Sally.”
Midge smiles briefly. “I want to see them.”
“You will after lunch,” says Mrs. Weissman.
Midge nods. Nervousness coils around in Lenny’s stomach. He knows what the next question out of her mouth will be.
“I want to know what happened,” Midge says, a faint line forming between her eyebrows. “I remember being in the kitchen, and then I heard a noise and turned around…”
“Miriam,” Mrs. Weissman says reproachfully. “This isn’t the right time.”
“Mama, please!” snaps Midge. “Lenny.” She reaches her good arm out. Lenny accepts this invitation, noticing that Joel stiffens at being passed over.
Lenny sits on the bed, Midge’s hand wrapped in both of his. Great, he doesn’t know where to begin. “Well, uh. We got out of the Ambassador. And I called everyone.”
“Okay. But what about Bobby?” Midge asks quietly.
Lenny tries not to let his face betray his words. Out the corner of his eye, he sees Susie get closer to the other side of Midge.
“First thing you gotta know, is that they caught the guy. He’s in county jail.”
“Why he’d do it?”
“Hates Israel,” mutters Susie.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” says Midge.
“Nothing like this does,” says Abe like a tired philosopher.
Midge bites her lower lip. “You’re all not telling me something.”
“You’re going to recover,” says Lenny as tenderly as possible. “So is everyone else the asshole shot. But…” He has to stop speaking as it gradually dawns on Midge what he’s about to confirm. Seeing the pain in her eyes feels like sticking broken glass into his palm.
“Bobby.”
“I’m so sorry, Midge. He died early yesterday morning.”
Midge nods once before her face crumples. She burrows herself into Lenny’s shoulder as she cries full body sobs. He wraps his arms around her, tight as one can be with anything fragile. He won’t whisper that it’s going to be okay, because it fucking won’t be. You lose a bit of yourself going through a tragedy as painful as this. Lenny tries not to contemplate what Midge will have lost here besides a friend.
“I’m going to the funeral,” Midge states, voice muffled by Lenny’s body.
“It’s tomorrow in New York,” says Mrs. Weissman. “You can’t fly.”
Midge makes a horrible noise. It sounds like a sob, but Lenny thinks it’s a scream.
Later, Midge lets her mother wash her face with a cold washcloth. Lenny watches Mrs. Weissman bite her tongue before she can finish a comment about not wanting a puffy face. Susie borrows a comb from Mrs. Weissman’s handbag and starts brushing the knot out from the back of Midge’s head.
“You know how to do hair?” Lenny asks from behind his hand.
“Fuck off,” replies Susie. The corner of her mouth twitches.
Seeing Midge in such good care and knowing that she will want time alone with her children is enough for Lenny to decide go home. He wants a real shower. He needs to call his editor. He needs to fucking go to a meeting. His back has certainly forgotten what it’s like to sleep in a real bed.
Midge’s hair falls past her shoulders in stringy, yet neat locks. Susie returns the comb to Mrs. Weissman’s purse, looking self-satisfied. Abe and Mrs. Weissman have left to call and update their son. Joel sits next to Midge, trying to distract her with small talk.
Lenny goes to the other side of the bed.
“Hey. I’m gonna go home, but I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Promise?” says Midge.
“I’m a man of my word.” He bends down and gives her a kiss on the cheek. When he stands back up, Midge is glaring at him.
“Really? That’s my goodbye kiss?”
“Twist my arm, why don't you?” Ignoring Joel, Lenny lifts up Midge’s chin and kisses her chastely and sweetly. “Better?”
“Yes,” says Midge, the tiny moment of happiness bringing back a glow. “But I’ve decided I hate the beard.”
Lenny snaps his fingers. “If the lady says so, it’s gone.”
“She does.”
Joel clears his throat. “I think he looks fine with the beard.”
“He’s not kissing you, Joel.”
Back at his apartment, Lenny carries in his mountain of mail. There’s a stack of newspapers. Headlines as expected. He throws them in the garbage. If Midge really is going to convalesce at his home, there will be no reminders of Kennedy’s murder here. Lenny showers and orders take-out. He adds grocery shopping to his list of things to do. His editor is very understanding of the circumstances when Lenny calls. He asks for a two week extension, and the powers that be give him two months.
It is with some reluctance that Lenny shaves off his beard. If it makes Midge happy… Except now he really needs to get some sun on the lower half of his face. The beard was a nice disguise. He’s returned more to “Lenny Bruce, depressed comedian,” verses “Leonard Schneider, dependable single father.” At least he keeps the glasses.
The meeting he goes to isn’t his usual. But he’s gone there in the past when he’s felt particularly awful on a Friday night. Lenny sits in the circle, rolling his Styrofoam cup between his hands, as he explains the last few days. He doesn’t name names, but of course the other attendees would know what he’s talking about. Lenny admits how close he was to slipping in those early hours at the hospital. Now he just wants to keep his head screwed on right for his “friend.”
Back at the Good Samaritan, Lenny gets more coffee from the cafeteria. He finds his mother and Kitty having dinner with Susie.
“You look different,” says his mother after giving him a onceover. “Less like an out of place beatnik.”
Susie snorts. Lenny rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Ma.”
Kitty giggles. “Midge didn’t like the beard.”
“Now who told you that?” asks Lenny.
Kitty looks all innocent. “Nobody,” she says and takes a drink.
Observant kid, that one. Definitely his.
Lenny leaves them to finish dinner and returns to Midge’s room. He finds Ethan outside with his grandfather.
“Finally, the man I wanted to see,” says Abe as he goes and seizes Lenny by the arm. Abe directs the two of them down the hallway, Ethan following.
“What’s happening?”
“Mama’s being weird,” says Ethan.
“She won’t eat! She didn’t touch lunch or dinner.” Abe waves his hands around. “Granted that meatloaf does not look appetizing.”
“It smells gross,” adds Ethan.
“Ethan! You are not helping,” grumbles Abe. “Now I’m not Rose, Miriam has to eat something.”
Lenny points back to the room. “You want me to talk to her?”
“Yes!”
That Lenny can do. Abe leaves to go look for his wife. (“Mama and Grandma had a fight,” explains Ethan.) The kid follows Lenny into Midge’s room. Esther sits on one of the benches, making herself small. Lenny can hear Joel trying to persuade Midge to touch her dinner. He stands at the end of the bed, hands on his hips. A tray rests over Midge’s lap. Her body turned as much as she can away from the food.
“Come on, Midge don’t do this to me.”
Lenny grabs Joel by the shoulders and shoves him towards the door. “Why don’t you go find your wife?”
“Hey!”
“Mei said she had to call Jia!” pipes up Esther helpfully.
“Wonderful,” says Lenny. “I gotta tell Midge a story.”
Joel sighs. “Fine, come on kids.”
“But I wanna hear Lenny’s story,” says Ethan.
“I like his stories, they’re funny,” adds Esther.
“Don’t worry, Joel. This one’s family friendly. I’d tell it to my own kid.”
Joel can’t win. “I’ll be back in five minutes. Eat!” He declares at Midge before vanishing out the door.
“So what’s for dinner,” says Lenny. He sits down next to Midge and picks up the fork and knife on the tray. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, with a dessert of cherry Jell-O. Esther stands next to him, gripping the back of the chair. Ethan sits down at the end of the bed.
“I’m not hungry.” Midge’s tone is cold. She won’t look at him or her children. Lenny can handle it. Midge can yell and scream at him all she wants. Except cry.
Lenny starts sawing away at the meatloaf and takes a small bite. Yup, definitely gross.
“Hmm, not bad,” he says, putting on a show that yes, this is tasty. “Now I’ve been in a lot of hospitals, clinics, and even a half-way house, and the food usually sucks. But never meatloaf.”
“You eat it then,” says Midge.
“Now I gotta story for you, Midge.” Ethan and Esther lean in excitedly and even Midge glances his way. “A few years ago, I did something very stupid, and I ended up in the hospital. I almost died. I was pretty lucky I didn’t.
“At the hospital I was a real pain in the ass to everyone. I complained. Bitched and moaned whenever the doctor or my mother tried to talk to me. I just wanted them to release me so I could go home, and probably do something even stupider. Now this friend of mine had decided to visit me while I was hospitalized.”
That was enough to get Midge to turn her head towards Lenny, her mouth a thin pale line.
“Where is this story going?”
“Trust me on this. After a particularly rough conversation I had with my doctor, my friend let me have it. She stormed into my hospital room and told me I needed to stop being a stubborn bastard and to let the people who loved me take care of me. Can’t you believe the nerve of her? Bossing me around like that?”
Midge’s eyes narrow. “Some nerve.” Ethan and Esther stifle a giggle.
“The point of the story is that my dear friend was right. I needed to stop resisting, and to let myself be taken care of. So now Midge, I pass your great wisdom back to you.” Lenny returns the fork and knife to the tray.
Midge tentatively takes a forkful of the mashed potatoes. “Fuck you, Lenny.”
“Hey, I promised Joel this would be a family friendly story.”
Midge flashes him a smile and finishes her dinner.
Notes:
Kitty's feelings about not wanting to go to school due to current events are ones I can relate to. My 4th grade year included class discussions, of the first anniversary of 9/11, The DC Sniper Attacks (we lived in the area), and the Columbia explosion. It was horrible, but soon became routine :(
Ethel Kennedy did spend a great deal of her time after her husband's murder asking if the people around her were okay or comfortable. The George with her is George Plimpton. Plimpton was a college friend of RFK and one of the people to wrestle Sirhan Sirhan to the floor.
Chapter 7: We’re Going to Lenny’s Apartment- Part One
Summary:
Lenny and Susie have something in common. Midge is released from the hospital.
Notes:
Hello all! Thank you again for reading and commenting. It makes my day every time! I had some other writerly deadlines, so unfortunately this got put on the back burner. I thought this chapter would be longer, but this story has grown in ways I hadn't expected. Plus, I do hate to make people wait.
Take care~ Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 8, 1968.
The staff of the Good Samaritan Hospital wheel in a television so they can watch Kennedy’s funeral. Lenny stands against the wall next to Midge’s bed, everyone else having already taken their spots.
Lenny finds the whole thing incredibly depressing. Granted Catholicism was already a depressing religion before you added in a funeral service. The television is black and white, but Lenny’s imagination fills in the colors for the flag draped casket at the front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. The church would be a beautiful place otherwise. But the camera keeps showing the shellshocked pregnant widow, Jackie Kennedy crying into her handkerchief, and all the fatherless children. Lenny tries not to see Kitty in their faces.
Midge sits quietly during the funeral. Lenny expects her to cry or maybe scream. Instead, she’s pale and expressionless. Lenny thinks this is worse. Considering the looks Susie keeps sneaking him, she thinks so as well. Even Mrs. Weissman dabs her eyes when the other Senator Kennedy eulogizes his brother.
Afterwards, Abe and Mrs. Weissman take the kids to get food in the cafeteria. Lenny’s mother has to go home. Joel and Mei leave to call their daughter. Lenny and Susie are left with Midge, who is slumped in the bed, clearly miserable.
“Midge,” asks Susie, “Do you want us to get you anything.”
Midge takes a moment to respond. The few seconds feel longer than they really are to Lenny. A quiet Midge makes him concerned. Even in the worst moments, she’s always talking or planning.
“Will you two come here?”
He and Susie echo each other’s yesses, but what ends up happening is not what they expect. They find themselves crammed onto the bed with Midge. It’s awkward as all hell, but if this is what Midge needs how can they say no? Lenny’s on his side, Midge gripping the front of his shirt as she clings to him. Susie lays next to Midge, seemingly a few inches from falling off the bed. Neither he nor Susie want to be making eye contact during this, however there’s nowhere to look but at each other.
“You know,” he says, “I never thought I’d be sharing—”
Susie’s eyes narrow. “Do not finish that sentence, Bruce.”
“Tough audience.”
“We’re gonna break this goddamn motherfucking bed.”
“They can bill me.”
Between them, Midge starts to snore. Lenny and Susie are both surprised she could make such a noise.
“Jesus Christ, she’s really out,” says Susie.
“Yup. I guess we’re stuck here forever.”
Susie pulls Midge’s hair away from her mouth. The last thing Midge needs is to inhale her own locks.
“The whole time I kept thinking thank fuck it wasn’t her in the box,” Susie’s voice wavers.
“Me too.”
The pathos ends when Midge snorts. There’s no room to laugh on the bed.
June 11, 1968.
Midge is released from the hospital that morning. Sally and Mrs. Weissman fetched Midge’s things from the Ambassador and took them to Lenny’s apartment, save for a change of clothes. The doctors are pleased she won’t need to stay in a hotel for the remainder of her recovery. They don’t want her on a plane just yet.
It takes Joel longer to realize there’s only two bedrooms in the apartment than Lenny expects. One already spoken for by Kitty.
“Wait, where are you gonna sleep?” he asks Lenny during the discussion about Midge’s care plan.
Lenny rolls his eyes. “I have a sofa bed in the living room.”
Susie says Dinah reported a flood of get well cards accumulating in the Myerson and Associates office. Mrs. Weissman shares a similar anecdote from Zelda about a constant stream of flowers slowly taking over the Upper West Side Apartment.
Midge smiles at this.
Lenny waits in the hallway as Midge gets changed with help from Mrs. Weissman. Midge steps out wearing a deep purple dress with her hair tied back, her right arm rests in a near matching sling. Of course it would. Midge takes careful steps with her mother’s support.
“Are you ready?” Lenny asks.
“I am,” says Midge. She lets go of her mother’s hand and adjusts her dress. “This is the closest color I had to black.”
Lenny nods.
The press has tried to speak to Midge. Susie put out in her very Susie way that Midge wasn’t interested in talking to any “ass sniffing, dick wacking reporter hacks!” The requests stopped immediately after.
This does not prevent a gathering of photographers from snapping pictures of Midge being helped into the taxi by her mother. Lenny is two seconds from walking out into the parking lot and clocking the nearest photographer in the face. Getting arrested for that would certainly add some variety to his record.
“Lenny, don’t,” says Midge, as if she read his mind.
“Why not? They should fucking know better.”
“Because I don’t want to bail you out today.”
He sighs. “I won’t.”
“Good.”
Lenny does flip them off before getting into the taxi. Have fun putting that in a magazine.
The obvious downside to Midge staying in Lenny’s apartment is that it’s on the second floor. Midge is still unsteady on her feet, and an exterior flight of stairs is a risk that could send her back to the hospital. But it is the only set of stairs she will have to deal with.
(Technically, there is another downside to staying with Lenny. One that he is all too aware of. Midge is on painkillers. The heavy duty kind they give gunshot wound survivors. The ones that should not be around recovered addicts. Solution? Sally keeps them at her house.)
Lenny’s apartment complex consists of two buildings set at a right angle to each other. One has the super’s office. There’s a small courtyard with some shrubbery and palm trees. The courtyard is home to the pool, which at this point in the day is full of retirees and housewives enjoying the sun. The quiet won’t last once the children are out of school.
The taxi driver is solicitous enough to park directly under Lenny’s apartment. There’s a welcome party consisting of everyone who wasn’t at the hospital. Sans Kitty. No more skipping school says the dad.
It takes ten minutes and Abe and Lenny walking on either side of her to get Midge up the stairs safely and into the apartment. She needs to sit. Midge settles on the sofa and accepts the offered glass of water from Mei.
Ethan and Esther sit with their mother. Midge seems almost her old self around them. Ethan shows off his successively better potholders. Esther snuggles up under her mother’s good arm.
Lenny checks his bedroom. As if he could have thought differently, Midge’s suitcases have taken over a whole corner. There are less hat boxes this time.
There have never been so many people in Lenny’s apartment before. Even Kitty’s kept her birthday parties small. Thankfully not long after Midge’s arrival, everyone has settled into place. Joel and Mei take Ethan and Esther out to the pool. Sally’s cleaning Lenny’s kitchen. Abe is typing up notes on the typewriter. Susie shouts into the phone, although Lenny thinks Dinah could hear her all the way from California without it.
Midge has finished a light lunch. Her mother takes the dishes away, leaving Midge and Lenny alone.
“This is a nice place,” says Midge.
“I try to keep it that way.” No bad memories here. He couldn’t stand to keep the house he almost died in. It would be like allowing a particularly nasty ghost to stay as a guest.
Mrs. Weissman comes back. “Now Miriam, is there anything else you would like?”
“A bath.”
“I’m not sure we can get you in and out of the tub safely.”
“Lenny can help,” says Midge. Now that makes Lenny pay attention. More attention.
Mrs. Weissman’s lips purse at the idea. “I’m not—”
Midge gives her mother a signature look. “Mama. Lenny’s seen me naked hundreds of times.”
Lenny gets a little hot under the collar. “Well, maybe not hundreds of times,” he says in the hope this will lessen the scandal.
“Fine. But we will do this quietly and politely,” says Mrs. Weissman, as if there was a chance her matchmaking clients would hear about her unmarried daughter being seen in the nude by her equally unmarried “gentleman friend,” or whatever the hell he is.
Lenny helps Midge into the bathroom with Mrs. Weissman, and then waits outside until he’s called for. He hears the water running and clothes being taken off.
“You may come in,” says Mrs. Weissman. She ceremoniously cracks open the door.
Lenny finds Midge sitting on the toilet, naked save for the bandage covering her injury. She holds her weakened arm close to her body.
“You ready?” he asks.
“Perfectly.”
Lenny slips one arm under Midge’s legs and she grabs him around the shoulders as he lifts, careful not to jostle her injury. Midge feels impossibly light. She’s always been petite. A little too petite in Lenny’s opinion. Not that weight is something that he wants to discuss with Midge. It’s too personal, even for their friendship.
Mrs. Weissman has filled the tub just enough that there’s no risk of water getting onto Midge’s bandage. Lenny lowers Midge, afraid till the last that he would drop her or put her in wrong.
“Thanks Lenny.” She flashes him a quick smile. As if she was trying to tell him that yes, she is okay.
“We’ll need you to get her out again,” says Mrs. Weissman.
“Just let me know.”
Mrs. Weissman gives him a glance that says you’re dismissed. Lenny closes the door behind him. Not long after he does, he hears the sound of crying. Both Midge and her mother. Words about being able to wash yourself. Not for the first time, Lenny remembers this all could have gone so wrong.
He gives them some privacy. Time to go bother Abe. The man probably would love a proofreader.
Next Time: Ethan finds some interesting reading material. Abe and Lenny have a heart to heart. Trauma creeps into Midge's dreams.
Notes:
I'm a very hardcore Midge Lenny shipper, but I do think that Susie is one of Midge's most important people. Smidge is very cute imo.
I was raised Catholic so I agree with Lenny that it is a very depressing religion.
No big historical notes, but Mr. Rogers did have a special segment on his show about how to talk to children about RFK's assassination and funeral. Remember, Dr. Martin Luther King jr. had been murdered six weeks prior and James Earl Ray hadn't even been caught yet. 1968 was a pretty crap year.
Chapter 8: We’re Going to Lenny’s Apartment- Part Two
Summary:
Ethan gets some interesting reading material. Midge has a nightmare. Lenny has a few bonding experiences.
Notes:
Hello all! I can't believe I am staring down the end of this story. It's so much longer than I thought it would be. But I'm glad. I love reading everyone's comments. Writing this chapter helped keep me sane as I try to exist as a woman in America.
Thank you again. Be well <3 Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 12, 1968.
For the most part, Lenny gets used to having so many people in his apartment. Yes, the first few hours were cramped. The sofa is too small. There was a line for the bathroom. He ran out of cups in the kitchen. But the noises and busyness are comforting. To know that support surrounds you.
Esther asked to stay the first night. Kitty’s bed is a trundle for convenience. Lenny is surprised Joel agreed to let Esther sleepover. Maybe Joel’s love for his older daughter is stronger than his dislike of Lenny. Esther is a perfect young lady. Although Lenny does have to rap on the door because he can hear her and Kitty whispering after two am.
After breakfast, Lenny and Mei go grocery shopping. With that many people in the apartment, including a ravenous teenage boy, the food disappears quickly. He and Mei make an odd pair. He doesn’t even consider this until they are walking through the freezer aisle and Mei makes a disgusted face at Lenny’s suggestions.
“I will do the cooking. Hope you like real Chinese food.” Mei waves her hand for Lenny to follow with the cart.
And it hits him in front of the popsicles (which Mei does agree to get). He and Mei, on the balancing ends of the axis, talking about housekeeping and dinner plans before discussing the insanity of the last week.
“Hey Mei,” Lenny wonders if he’s being forward by addressing her this way. Tiny sharp objects, remember?
She grabs the end of the cart to steer them into the next aisle. “Hmm?”
“How are you doing?”
That gets her to stop. Mei laughs and brings a hand to her forehead. “I don’t think I’ve stopped to think til now.”
“And how do you feel?” He and Mei haven’t truly talked since the first phone call.
“Tired. I miss Jia. She wanted Joel and I at her field day, but we missed it. She was so upset we didn’t bring her to California. You want to know something awful, Lenny?”
“Tell me.” Awful things grow faster when you don’t talk about them.
“I didn’t bring Jia because I didn’t want to traumatize my daughter with Midge dying. Joel doesn’t know that.” On the last word, Mei reaches for and drops a box of cereal into the cart.
“I get it, I didn’t want my mother to bring Kitty to the hospital. Just in case…”
“They both adore Midge.” A pause. “I’m flying out tomorrow morning. Try not to kill my husband.”
“I figured you’d want that honor.” Lenny knows a risky joke when it comes out his mouth, and now he waits for an exacting retort. If not a well-deserved slap.
“And here I was thinking you weren’t funny.”
“I am out of practice.”
Mei smirks. “I love my husband, but sometimes when Midge is concerned, he gets needy and pedantic.”
“And Midge becomes that terrible Susie Homemaker with no life outside her kitchen.”
“Agreed.” Mei leads Lenny to the produce section. She begins to inspect the cabbage with a seriousness that must come from being a doctor. “It drives me up the wall. Don’t think I don’t care about Midge. I really do. She smoothed things over with Moishe and Shirley. Made me two weeks of food after Jia was born. Got Joel to take his head out his ass more than once on my behalf,” lists Mei.
“So basic Midge stuff?” says Lenny, none of this surprising him one bit.
“If that’s considered basic.” Mei raises a knowing eyebrow as she selects her cabbage.
They continue to shop. Lenny is more than happy to reach up onto the high shelves for Mei. The two of them get in line to check out. Lenny is ready to pay for the whole load, but Mei declares they will each pay half. He’s not going to contradict this woman who knows her mind.
They don’t talk much on the ride back to Lenny’s apartment. Radio’s off. Neither of them is interested in the available music, nor want to hear the news.
“Are we, you know, friends now?” says Mei, like it’s a question she doesn’t want to ask.
“I think so,” says Lenny. “But we won’t act like we are in front of Midge and Joel.”
“Excellent idea.”
In the afternoon, Lenny does a quick inventory of where everyone is. His mother has returned to her house, so it’s less crowded. One less dish to be washed. Kitty is home from school. She sits cross-legged on the floor of her room, homework in progress. Mei is doing as she promised. Lenny can smell her cooking all over the apartment. He was not allowed to help taste test. Joel is on the phone with his parents, relaying his mother’s demands that Midge eats lots of rare beef.
Midge bares her ex-in-laws long distance demands as well as any woman recovering from a getting shot can. Which is to say she nods and says “yes, Joel,” while Esther paints her nails as they sit around the coffee table. Esther has a steady hand for the task, and colors her mother’s nails a soft pink. Midge’s color.
The end of Lenny’s dining room table/desk has been taken over by Mrs. Weissman. She bought some stationary, which she is now delicately addressing letters in preparation for a matchmaking job she declines to explain. Susie has been impressed into licking the envelopes. Abe sits opposite them, reading. His glasses seem close to falling off his nose.
This is nice. Normal, after all the fucking misery. Lenny almost wishes he has more room to entertain. Except someone is missing.
Ethan.
Not wanting to cause a fuss yet, Lenny decides to look him. He can think of a few reasons a teenage boy would want to sneak off away from his family. However, Ethan is only thirteen and far from home. The last thing Lenny wants is to make an unnecessary big deal. Especially if the kid just went outside to dip his toes in the pool. Who is he, Joel? Do not say that joke out loud.
Lenny goes down the stairs and takes the few steps to the gate of the complex’s pool. No Ethan. Just an old man in an innertube and a set of toddler twins driving their mother insane. Okay, now Lenny is getting concerned. Did Ethan decide to hitchhike back to New York? Unlikely. Did he get kidnapped by a van full of hippies? Maybe.
Lenny turns back towards the apartment building, hands on his hips. Then he sees Ethan. The kid is sitting around the corner against the wall, legs bent. He’s intently reading a Playboy. One of Lenny’s in fact. Ethan must have snuck into his bedroom (Midge’s bedroom) and took it down from the shelf. All done without anyone noticing. Lenny can’t be mad. He’s impressed.
Ethan turns a page in the magazine, not noticing he’s being watched. Lenny clears his throat. The kid does a double take.
“I’m just reading the articles!” he yelps, his face reddening.
“Sure you are.” Lenny reaches and plucks the Playboy from Ethan’s hands. And well, fuck. The kid’s honest. He was reading an article.
“Are you gonna tell my parents?” Ethan sounds disappointed at the prospect of being ratted out by Lenny Bruce.
“Nah, I’ve seen pictures of your Bar Mitzvah. You’re a young man now.” Lenny returns the magazine to Ethan. “There’s nothing wrong with being a little curious.”
“This isn’t some kind of trick.” The look Ethan gives Lenny reminds him strongly of Midge.
“No, it’s not. But seriously Ethan, hide it behind a National Geographic or something.”
“You don’t have any.”
“I’ll have to get a subscription then.” Ethan continues to eye him skeptically. That yes, an adult would let him get away with this. “I actually wrote some articles for Playboy,” Lenny adds.
“Really?”
“Yeah, maybe when you’re a little older you can read them.”
“How much older?”
“Your current age, plus two weeks.”
Ethan is excited for a second before he gets the joke, then it’s back to the glare of teenage judgement. “Are you really not gonna tell my parents?”
“I’m not. Just put it back where you found it. But if any of the pages are sticky, I will tell your mother.”
Ethan’s ears go red. “Yes, sir.”
Lenny waves his hand. “Don’t give me any of that. No sirs, no misters, none of that stuff. Always just Lenny.”
“Sure, Just Lenny,” Ethan says with a grin.
“Oh, don’t be a smartass,” Lenny says as he goes back to the stairs.
Mei’s dinner is delicious. There are no leftovers. As if there would be, considering the amount of people eating the meal. The last of the sauce is scraped over the rice and distributed. Lenny’s mother comes for dessert and to distribute Midge’s painkiller. Lenny politely goes to the kitchen to start washing dishes while Midge takes it.
Ethan sheepishly tugs on Lenny’s sleeve and confesses that he wasn’t able to put the Playboy back. The kid ended up hiding it under the coffee table.
“Nice try. I’ll get it later,” says Lenny.
Everyone says farewell to Mei when it’s time for the goodnights. She and Midge hug each other longer than Lenny thinks either woman expects to. Neither want to be the first to break the embrace. Mei lets go when Joel reminds her she’s got to get up early.
“See you around, Lenny,” Mei says. “I’ll miss bringing you shopping.”
Lenny gives a little bow. “I’ll take care of my long arms for you.”
Midge and Joel exchange a look at this new familiarity. A gentle taste of their own medicine.
Lenny has never slept on the sofa bed until Midge came to recover. The only reason he got one was more of a just in case Plan B. Not that he expected to host company. Until now. The mattress is firm and on par with most hotel beds. But he can’t get comfortable. The first night passed in intermittent sleep, but Lenny finds that tonight is worse. He checks his watch. A little after three a.m. Fuck me.
He rubs his face. If he was certain the sound would not wake Kitty, Esther, or Midge, Lenny would work on his book. The project basically untouched since the night at the Ambassador. There’s flashlight on top of the refrigerator. Lenny can read in its private glow.
Before he can haul himself out of the sofa bed, Lenny hears a gasp. Loud and harsh, like a drowning person gulping for air. He passes by Kitty’s room; certain the noise did not come from there. The door to his bedroom is cracked, and he pushes it open further.
“Midge?” Lenny finds her sitting up in the bed, breathing frantically. Midge clutches at where she was shot, and Lenny fantasizes about beating the shit outta the gunman. He sits on the bed, places his hands on Midge’s shoulders. Her eyes are wide with panic, and it takes a moment for her to look at him. “You okay?”
“I had a horrible fucking dream,” she says in a whisper.
Lenny waits for Midge to continue, but she doesn’t. Instead, he asks if she’s in any pain.
“I wrenched my shoulder when I woke up.”
“Do I need to call my mother?”
Midge shakes her head. “I’ll be fine til morning.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I’d love an ice pack though.”
That he can do. Lenny finds one in the bathroom, fills it up with ice and water, and presents it to Midge. She rolls it against her shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“Does madam need anything else from room service?” He says with zest. Lenny feels pretty proud of himself when it gets a smile out of Midge.
She hesitates. “Can you stay? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Sure Midge,” he says, and his heart break a little further.
Lenny settles onto the bed with Midge. She rolls over on her side, the injured half of her body supported by an extra pillow. Lenny slips his arms around Midge. She curls her body against his, her hand securing his hold on her. Midge’s hair smells like floral shampoo, a few strands tickling his nose. He doesn’t even mind. She exhales as he inhales, perfect fucking symmetry. Damn, he’s forgotten how nice spooning is. And woops, he’s hard.
He moves away fast, hoping Midge didn’t notice. A deep chuckle tells him she did.
Lenny sighs, “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing I’ve never felt before.”
“Yeah, but you’re…,” he pauses as he tries to find the word to describe this inappropriateness, “an invalid.”
“Extra flattering then,” she says and presses her ass against him.
Lenny grumbles and gives Midge a gentle squeeze. They fall asleep quickly. He sneaks out of her room before anyone wakes.
June 13, 1968.
Abe asks to go out for lunch with Lenny. His treat as long as Lenny picks a good restaurant.
Lenny drives and takes Abe to his favorite Mexican place. Abe should be able to enjoy one part of California during this “visit.” An anxiety Lenny tells himself is needless starts picking at him like you do a scab. Sure, he and Abe talk often, but they’ve never gone out for a meal together. Phone calls and letters keep space between people. Lenny’s gut tells him Abe didn’t request this lunch on a whim.
Once they’re inside the restaurant and settled into a booth, both Lenny and Abe order cokes and nibble on the chips and salsa. Abe examines the menu carefully, asking Lenny for clarification on dishes he doesn’t recognize.
Lenny isn’t going to torture himself. He speaks first. “So, any reason we’re going out to lunch today?”
Abe sighs. “Was it really that obvious.”
Lenny pinches his fingers together. “Just a little.”
Abe takes off his glasses and folds his hands together. The act reminds Lenny of the professor Abe once was.
“Lenny, I want to ask you a question that is very personal and will sound judgmental, but I assure you is being asked genuinely.”
“Shoot,” says Lenny, mentally steadying himself to answer a question about his drug use. So what comes out of Abe’s mouth is a complete surprise.
“Why are you and Miriam not married?”
Lenny opens and closes his mouth, no words coming out. “I’m sorry. I uh really wasn’t expecting that.”
“What did you think I was going to ask you?”
“Drugs. I thought you were going to ask me about drugs.”
“I’m not going to ask you about drugs. I don’t need to ask you about drugs.” Abe’s voice drops. “Do I need to ask you about drugs?”
“Oh no, I’m good,” Lenny says, backtracking. “I’m in a good place. All things considered. But that’s really your question?”
“Yes! I know we’ve never talked about Miriam, and every time I’ve gently tried to breach the topic with her, she gets immediately defensive and it never goes anywhere.”
“What does she say?” Lenny is stupidly curious.
“That you are friends and you’re very important to each other. And that her mother and I need to stop bothering her about relationships.”
“Sounds like Midge.”
“Can you understand why I’d like to hear from you? I’m not going to criticize whatever… things you do with my daughter when you’re alone,” Abe looks embarrassed and he’s not the only one. “You’re adults. But Miriam has placed you so highly in her life, like she would a husband. She doesn’t date. Her mother has given up trying to matchmake. Every time you’ve been in trouble, she puts her whole life on pause. And I know you’ve done the same for her.”
Lenny feels about six different emotions during Abe’s little speech. He waits to talk until he’s certain he won’t cry, laugh, or have some other loud bodily reaction. This is his favorite place to get tacos, and he’d prefer not to get kicked out.
He inhales deeply. “Well. I think it comes down to this. As much as I love Midge, I could never give her a stable, Upper West Side, normal-whatever, domestic relationship. And even if I could, I don’t think she’d want that from me. I remember the tall doctor.”
“Ah yes. Benjamin.” Abe frowns.
“Whatever happened to him?”
Abe is delighted to share a bit of gossip. “Benjamin got involved with the Civil Rights Movement and married an organizer he met in Selma, Yvette. She’s the daughter of a minister. They suit each other well.”
“Must’ve broke all the Jewish mothers’ hearts,” says Lenny.
“It was all anyone wanted to talk about that summer,” says Abe, exasperated. “And with real troubles going on in the world…. Anyway. Thank you for answering. And thank you for taking care of my daughter.”
Abe looks likes he’s about to cry. Lenny hopes he fucking doesn’t, because then he will also start crying, and it will make it very awkward when the waiter comes to take their order.
Lenny clears his throat. “I’m trying to return the favor.”
“I know. Which is why I want to give you this.” Abe reaches into his shirt pocket and takes out a piece of paper Lenny recognizes as a check.
“Abe, I am not taking your money.” Another thing they’ve never discussed.
“It’s not my money. It’s also Rose’s money, and Moishe and Shirley’s. Not Joel’s, I assure you.” Abe extends the check towards Lenny. He avoids touching it as if the paper was on fire.
“Do you know how much money I got as an advance—”
Abe cuts him off. “It’s not for you! It’s for whatever you need to take care of Miriam. I don’t think you’re going to pleased at your phone bill.”
“You got me there.”
“I want her to be able to stay with you as long as she needs. I’m afraid if Miriam comes home before she’s ready, she is going to bury this and pretend she’s fine. If she’s here with you, I don’t think that will happen.”
“You got a lot of trust in me, Abe,” Lenny says. He doesn’t add that he feels unworthy of it.
“Promise me one thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lenny.”
The waiter comes to take their orders. Lenny gets his usual tacos. Abe decides to be daring and gets a burrito. Once they are alone again, Lenny speaks.
“Abe.”
“Hmm?”
“It’s very hard to not be hard on myself.”
Abe doesn’t say anything. Instead, he reaches over and gives Lenny a fatherly pat on the arm. Lenny accepts the check.
Next Time: Midge tries to get better, but recent events have made their mark.
Notes:
I'm Team Midge and Mei become kickass friends. I'll be crossing my fingers for the show.
It's gonna be angsty next time.
The March from Selma to Montgomery was a huge turning point in the Civil Rights Movement in 1965. It was part of an effort to get Black people registered to vote in Alabama. As a young man, Rep. John Lewis was beaten by state troopers on the Edmund Pettus Bridge. Lewis also worked for Robert F. Kennedy and was in the Ambassador Hotel when he was murdered.
I always liked Benjamin. I know he has a low opinion of people, but I interpreted it as him being displeased with "how things are." I can see him getting involved in the changing world of the 60s. And finding his "weird girl" to spend his life with. Maybe Yvette can appear in another story. Who knows.
Chapter 9: Everything is Trauma
Summary:
Someone returns to New York. Midge begins to talk about her experiences.
Notes:
I'm back folks! Add in a vacation and some other deadlines, and suddenly it's been a month since I updated. Good news and bad news. Bad news is that this chapter is shorter than usual. I didn't want you all to keep waiting as this section of the story is going to be LONG. So there will be more chapters!
Be safe and well! ~Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 14-16th, 1968
Susie is the next to leave.
She doesn’t want to return to New York and abandon Midge in Los Angeles. Lenny does his best to calm Susie’s needless fears. His attempt at consolation earns him a bras d'honneur. Which of course Ethan sees and immediately asks his father what the gesture means. Soon Joel and Susie are squabbling, and Lenny normally would be enjoying Susie knocking down Joel a peg, but this is upsetting to Midge. Lenny gets to be the voice of reason for once.
Still, Susie’s time in LA is at an end. Myerson and Associates miss their leader. James is about to go on tour. Alfie’s ego has inflated from his appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. Dinah is just one woman. Frank and Nicky can’t do the sort of work Susie needs done.
Lenny escorts Midge and Susie to the airport. He drives with the two in the backseat. Before leaving, Midge reminds Susie about how she can better check her luggage this time. Lenny keeps his car well under the speed limit, wanting to keep the ride smooth for Midge.
He checks the mirror and sees that she and Susie are holding hands.
“I’m gonna miss you so much,” says Midge.
“You stop it!” snaps Susie. “I’ve already cried enough this week.”
Susie speaks too early. When it’s time to say goodbye in front of the gate, both women are crying in each other’s arms. Lenny stands far enough away to give them some privacy, but close enough to catch Midge if she starts to feel faint. She isn’t exactly supposed to be on her feet this long.
“I’ll call as soon as I land,” says Susie.
“Please don’t forget!”
Midge and Susie part. “Don’t you worry about anything! I’ve told the press to leave you the hell alone, and I’ve canceled all your appearances til further notice.”
Lenny sees something unrecognizable pass over Midge’s face. He can’t decide if the emotion is some sort of grief, regret, or relief. Perhaps he’s wrong.
Midge doesn’t say anything. She gives Susie one final hug, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand.
Boarding is called for Susie’s flight. She inhales and straightens her cap.
“Bye Susie,” says Lenny.
What he doesn’t expect is for her to walk over and bring him down to her level for a hug. She mutters something about him being too tall. Lenny’s ready to hear some sort of threat whispered in his ear.
“Take care of our girl,” says Susie instead.
He hugs Susie a little tighter after that. She disappears through her gate. He and Midge watch until she’s out of sight.
Midge sits in the front passenger seat on the ride back. She falls asleep, her head dropped forward against her chest. Lenny waits so she’s awake when he pulls into the apartment complex. He does a few loops around his neighborhood, glancing out the corner of his eye at Midge.
Lenny reads with help of the flashlight. It’s nothing fancy or intellectual. Just some pulpy novel. He’s in the mood for escapism. Lenny promises himself he will work on his book tomorrow. He can allow himself the excuse for not writing since it’s after midnight.
Midge steps into the living room. Her hair is limp in front of her face, like a lost sheepdog. A strap of her night gown has fallen off her shoulder.
“Hey, what’s wrong,” he asks.
“Lenny, I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I’m seeing it happen again. I don’t really think I remember getting shot or… seeing Bobby on the floor. But I heard it. I felt it. And it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember because I see it anyway...”
“Midge, you don’t have to explain.” Lenny gets off the sofa bed and goes to her. She keeps talking.
“And it’s too much! It’s just too much. And I think about Ethel. I haven’t even called her. I’m a horrible friend.”
Midge is spiraling. Lenny understands well the lure of a black hole. How they love to grab and not let go. He holds Midge close, and she squeezes him back, tightly.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
Lenny lays on his back, Midge half draped over his chest. Her breathing sounds more normal, but he feels the panic in her body. Tense muscles and a fist full of his shirt.
“What did you do yesterday?” he asks, thinking of the previous night he spent spooning her.
“I didn’t sleep at all. I just tossed and turned.”
“Christ, you could have come got me.”
Midge waits a moment before responding. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
Lenny sighs. “You never bother me. Ever. How many times have I bothered you? I’m perpetually in your debt.”
Midge looks up at him and he strains his neck to see her better. “I doubt appearing at important moments of my life counts as bothering.”
Lenny kisses the top of her head. “Hey, tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to talk about this. Tell me a nice story about Kennedy.” Anything to get her to stop thinking about his death. “It’s a whole part of your life I know nothing about.” Except how it ended.
“Okay,” says Midge. “You’ll appreciate this one. Did you listen to Bobby’s speech after Dr. King was shot?”
“No, but I was aware he made one.”
“It was in Indianapolis. I watched it on the news. The crowd didn’t know it happened til he announced it. I told him later that he could’ve been a comedian.”
Lenny frowns. “I don’t think there’s anything—”
“No, no, no,” says Midge. “That’s not what I meant. But think about it, he made an improvised speech to an audience in a tense moment and got people to listen to him. Made an impact on them. Isn’t that what a good comedian should do?”
“I can see that. And what did he think of your comparison?”
“After I explained it, he was flattered. Said he was relieved he could have my respect as comedian as well as a politician.”
“It’s a nice story.”
“Yeah, it is.” A pause. “My God, Lenny. That wasn’t even three months ago… What the hell am I going to do now?”
“For now, you need sleep. You can’t plan your life with no rest.”
Lenny feels Midge’s jaw move, as if she’s going to say something else. He waits. He knows he’s just delaying the inevitable by suggesting sleep. Midge can’t stay in his apartment forever. Even if Abe encourages her to be here as long as she needs, one day she will step out the door, no longer a guest. Whether it’s a week or six months from now. Maybe Midge has a plan. Midge doesn’t hide anymore. Not since he let her have it at Carnegie Hall a lifetime ago. She always gets up again.
But that woman is gone. That Midge hadn’t survived this nightmare. He both wants to ask her what she wants to do and to just let her be. She hasn’t even been out of the hospital a week. It’s none of his business, right? The fist on his shirt goes slack. Lenny hopes Midge’s dreams are peaceful ones. He will do all the worrying tonight.
Next Time: The children do some plotting. Midge reads a magazine.
Notes:
The speech that Robert F. Kennedy made can be found here. https://www.jfklibrary.org/learn/about-jfk/the-kennedy-family/robert-f-kennedy/robert-f-kennedy-speeches/statement-on-assassination-of-martin-luther-king-jr-indianapolis-indiana-april-4-1968
For all of his flaws and failures, he really did want to help the United States.
As much as I love Joan Didion, I disagree with her that the Tate-La Bianca murders were the end of the sixties. I think the fucked up double wammy of Dr. King and RFK being murdered was the real end of the decade.
See you all next time!
Chapter 10: Ethan, Esther… and Kitty
Summary:
The children plot.
Notes:
This tangent ended up being a whole chapter. I hope you like Dad!Lenny.
At this point, I'm just updating the fic whenever I write over 2k words. Everything I write always ends up being longer than I think!
<3 Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It’s almost five in the morning and Lenny carefully slips out from under Midge. She sleeps soundly and doesn’t stir as he tucks her back into the bed. Time for him to pretend he’s been sleeping in the living room this entire time. He might be able to fall back asleep. If not, he might as well make Kitty and Esther something interesting for breakfast. Banana pancakes, anyone?
Lenny flops down on the sofa bed and notices Kitty sitting at the dining room table eating a bowl of cereal.
“Hey Kitty.”
“Hi Dad.” She takes another bite. The cereal crunches loudly in her mouth.
Oh. Lenny sits up and swings his legs off the bed. Kitty’s a smart girl, she can figure out where’s been for the past few hours. Lenny tries not to pat himself on the back for talking about what he’s supposed to with Kitty as a parent. Don’t do drugs. Boys who are mean to you don’t really like you. Pay attention to your surroundings. No one is entitled to touch you. Don’t be embarrassed to buy feminine hygiene products. Of course, these topics never involved him directly. Other people could be the examples.
“Okay, we need to talk.”
“You make it sound so scary, Dad.”
He’s not trying to act like this is a lecture. But there’s the mild embarrassment about being found coming from Midge’s room by his thirteen year old daughter.
“Kitty, Midge is having a lot of trouble sleeping.” Lenny doesn’t want to reveal too much of Midge’s troubles to a child he knows will internalize them. Still, Kitty deserves an explanation and not a dismissal. “She sleeps better if there’s someone with her. No… funny business, just rest.”
Kitty shrugs nonchalantly, “Okay, Dad. You don’t gotta act all embarrassed. Does this mean Midge’s your girlfriend now?” Lenny notes the optimistic lift at the end of the sentence.
“No, we are just friends.” Kitty raises a curious eyebrow. Wonder where she learned how to do that? “Look sweetie, adult relationships can be… complicated.”
“Adults are weird.”
“Don’t worry, you will—”
“Understand when I’m older,” Kitty finishes, rolling her eyes.
“Don’t talk to Esther about this. If her dad finds out—"
“Mr. Maisel will hate you more?”
“Something like that. You’re eating cereal, want me to make you a real breakfast?
“Is this a bribe?” Kitty smiles cheekily.
“This is being your father. You’re eating cornflakes? Those are boring! Come on, I’ll make you something better.”
Kitty slices bananas while Lenny makes the batter. Breakfast goes without incident, mostly. Esther joins them soon after. Sleepily brushing hair from her face and muttering a good morning. Midge walks into the kitchen wearing Lenny’s bathrobe, looking better than he ever did in it. When the pancakes are served, she praises his cooking. Lenny watches as Kitty shoots glances at Midge’s outfit, looking smug due to her newfound knowledge.
Lenny takes Midge to her doctor’s appointment. The stitches are coming out. Neither of them corrects the nurse when Lenny is referred to as her husband. Despite a lack of wedding rings, or that Lenny asks if Midge wants him to stay.
Midge lays down and Lenny holds her hand while the nurse does her work. He doesn’t try to get a good look at whatever scar has been left behind. It freaks him out to be honest, not that he will tell Midge. A permanent reminder of near death. If he thinks about it too hard, he’s back in the Ambassador’s kitchen, sweating out panic.
The apartment is barely organized chaos when they return. Midge said she wanted to rest when they were in the car, but that won’t be the case when Mrs. Weissman announces she must return to New York. Everyone is in the living room. Abe is consoling his wife. Kitty and Ethan are playing checkers. Esther reads a three month old Vogue she must have borrowed from her mother. Joel’s observing all of this, possibly waiting for his moment to butt in.
“Mona Metlzer’s fiancée has called off their engagement two weeks from the wedding!” Mrs. Weissman’s wrings her hands. “I don’t want to leave you, Miriam, but I need to go back! This is all my fault!”
“You’re not to blame, Rose,” says Abe. “The boy is an idiot. Mona will be better off without him.”
“Six months ago maybe, but not two weeks!” Mrs. Weissman is appalled at this critique of her professional integrity. “Will you be alright?” she asks her daughter.
“Mama, it’s okay. If you need to go, go,” says Midge. Lenny thinks she’s remarkably calm about this.
A wrinkle between Mrs. Weissman’s eyebrows suggests she expected more from Midge.
“Are you sure?” Mrs. Weissman turns towards her husband. “Your father may be coming with me.”
That causes a small cloud to pass over Midge’s face before she stifles it. “You need Papa too, Mama. Maybe this time you’ll be able to sit together.”
Midge’s brief hesitancy is enough to cause several moments of concertation from her parents, none of them wanting to believe that the others were telling the truth. The children all observe this in their own ways. Esther peers from behind her magazine. Kitty looks out the corner of her eye, a brow raised. Ethan stares.
Joel is the one who steps in.
“Rose, Abe. Midge is in good hands here.” And to Lenny’s great surprise Joel includes him in a gesture towards everyone else in the room.
This appears to work on Midge and her parents. Although Lenny is inclined to go and shake Joel, just to see if he’s real.
With his and Joel’s encouragement (again, still weird), Lenny suggests Midge has dinner with her parents. No kids, nobody else. Lenny’s mother stops by to give Midge her painkiller and suggests a few nice restaurants.
The apartment is too quiet. Lenny’s draft and unused typewriter call to him. He starts writing again. At first its too hard, but after a few minutes the rhythm returns. Joel takes the phone into the kitchen to call his family.
An hour or so passes. After rereading his last few pages, Lenny realizes the kids haven’t been in the living room for a while. As soon as he puts the thought into words, Kitty comes back.
“Dad, me, Esther, and Ethan want to talk to you about something.”
“Sure.” Lenny follows her. He’s more curious than concerned.
In the bedroom, Lenny’s welcomed by Ethan and Esther. The pair get him to sit on Kitty’s bed. His daughter stands off to the side, hands on her hips.
“Thanks for coming in here,” says Ethan like a miniature professional. His sister hands Lenny a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” he skims the note. The paper is a chart written in a delicate hand. Three different sections are headed by “Ethan,” “Kitty”, and “Esther.”
“Now that Grandma and Grandpa are going home,” says Ethan, “I think it’s not gonna be long before Dad wants to too.”
“And we wanna stay here with you and Mama,” says Esther.
“So, we wrote a list of all the things we can do to make it easy on you, Dad.” Kitty goes between Ethan and Esther. All three kids smile at him, expectantly.
Lenny reads the chart. They’ve assigned themselves chores around the apartment. Detailing who is to do what throughout the day down to the half hour.
“You put at lot of thought into this,” says Lenny.
“I wrote everything,” says Esther. “I have the nicest handwriting.”
“It’s down on the bottom, but we planned out a budget. If you’re worried about groceries or the utilities. I’ve got money from my Bar Mitzvah. Zeyde can wire it to me if I call,” says Ethan.
Lenny’s never met Moishe Maisel but has heard the stories. He has no doubt the man would help his grandson without issue.
“I’m gonna share my room,” says Kitty. “Ethan can have the trundle. Esther will sleep with me.”
“That bed’s a twin,” says Lenny, “won’t that be tight?”
“Oh no,” says Esther, “I sleep on my side and Grandma taught me to never roll around in my sleep.”
“Okay.”
“And we’ll cook and clean,” says Ethan. “I’ll scrub the bathroom.”
“So you can work on your book in peace,” adds Kitty.
“I can make Mama’s brisket. Zelda’s been teaching me recipes,” says Esther. “We’ll be on our best behavior.”
“No fighting,” says Ethan.
Lenny places the chore chart on the bed. “You really want to stay here?”
Ethan and Esther both nod fervently. The kids are all not so little anymore, old enough for opinions. Old enough for Lenny to see the fear that’s been bothering them.
“How are we supposed to know Mama’s okay if we’re not,” says Ethan.
Lenny doesn’t have a response to that. He thinks. “Alright, if your mom and dad say its okay, you can stay.”
The three of them hug Lenny, nearly tackling him with their enthusiasm.
Lenny takes Kitty out to the pool once Midge and her parents come back from dinner. Ethan and Esther want to present their case about staying in California. He can say yes, but the final decision isn’t up to him.
He and Kitty sit on the edge of the pool, dangling their legs in the water.
“Why did we leave? What if Esther and Ethan need our help?”
“I’m glad you want to be there for them, but it’s a family matter that they have to figure out on their own.”
Kitty kicks her feet, the water splashing loud. “Ethan asked me what it was like to visit you in the hospital.”
Lenny sighs. “What did you say?”
“That it sucked. I hated leaving cause I was afraid I’d never see you again,” Kitty mumbles the last part and rubs her hand across her face.
“I’m sorry I let you down.” Lenny puts his arm around her.
“I would’ve slept on the floor if they let me. Midge got to stay! Why couldn’t I?”
“Midge broke the rules doing that,” says Lenny. Not that he gave it much thought, he remembers the look of judgement some of the nurses shot him and Midge. The pathetic addict and that annoying women who wouldn’t leave.
“It wasn’t fair,” says Kitty.
“I know. But sometimes the right choice isn’t always the nice one.”
More splashing. “I hope Mr. Maisel lets Ethan and Esther stay.”
“So do I.”
Abe and Mrs. Weissman come and visit Lenny and Kitty at the pool. Mrs. Weissman looks exhausted. Lenny’s not surprised her carefully practiced veneer has taken a few hits. Abe holds a bag of leftovers.
“We are going back to your mother’s,” says Abe. “Rose and I will leave for New York tomorrow night.”
“I’ll miss having you around,” says Lenny.
“Thank you,” says Mrs. Weissman. “You and Sally have been such generous hosts.”
She and her husband exchange a glance. “Thank you for offering to watch Ethan and Esther," says Abe, “But their father would prefer they finish the school year at home.”
Kitty frowns and opens her mouth. He doesn't want to tamp down her desire to see justice down, but now's not the time. Lenny gives her shoulder a squeeze.
“That’s too bad. I was interested in trying Esther’s cooking.”
Once they are back in the apartment Kitty goes to her room. Ethan and Esther are held up in there with their disappointment. He can hear the quiet chatter of angry voices. Midge sits on the sofa while Joel paces with his jacket over his arm. Lenny readies himself for a comment from the man.
But there’s none. “I told the kids they had to get permission from you,” says Lenny.
“Thanks.”
“Go back to Sally’s,” says Midge. “Ethan can stay over tonight.”
Joel pushes his hair back. “He can’t miss his final exams.”
“I know,” says Midge, “But there’s no point in going over this again.”
Joel nods. “I’ll be back in the morning.”
Lenny knocks on Kitty’s door. “Open up, it’s Dad.”
Once inside, he finds a circle of sad children. Esther lays on the floor, face down in a pillow. Ethan’s been crying, and he sits with his arms crossed. Kitty puts a blanket on his shoulders.
“Hey, I know you’re disappointed. But don’t be so hard on your Dad. He’s trying his best,” says Lenny.
“He doesn’t understand,” says Ethan.
“Now that’s not fair. You can be angry, but don’t be mean.” Lenny won’t make a fuss and try to overrule Joel’s decision. But he can’t help but wonder if Joel made this decision based upon his dislike of Lenny.
“I don’t wanna go home,” says Esther, taking her red face off the pillow. “Bryn Mawr won’t care about 5th grade!”
“I know. But let’s go out to the living room,” says Lenny.
“I don’t wanna talk to my dad,” says Ethan. He pulls the blanket over his head.
“He left, so you get to sleepover tonight. But you gotta talk to him tomorrow.”
Ethan grumbles. He and his sister need a lot of motivation to move. Lenny finds himself picking Esther off the floor. She’s almost too big to be carried anymore, but she latches onto him anyway. He grabs Ethan by the shirt collar and steers the kid out of the room.
“You need more hands, Dad,” says Kitty.
He deposits Midge’s children on the sofa next to her. She holds them both close, kissing them each on the head.
“I’m so glad you want to take care of me. But your dad’s right. You’ve missed so much school.”
“It’s basically over now,” says Ethan.
“All I’m missing is field day. I hate field day,” says Esther.
“Don’t you miss Jia,” asks Midge.
“Yeah,” says Ethan, “But she can enjoy being an only child.”
“It’s not that fun,” says Kitty. She sits next to Esther. “I had a lot of imaginary friends.”
The conversation lulls. Midge’s children don’t let go of her. Lenny thinks of what she said from the floor of the Ambassador. That she sometimes doesn’t understand how much she loves them.
“Okay,” says Lenny, clapping his hands together. “Who wants dinner?”
“I ordered a pizza,” says Midge. “I hope no one has any objections.”
There are no complaints.
Next Time: Midge reads a magazine.
Notes:
I know Midge was out of focus this chapter. But next time is mostly her and Lenny.
Chapter 11: Because You Stayed- Part One
Summary:
Joel tries to be in charge. Midge reads a copy of LIFE Magazine.
Notes:
Guess who's back kids? I am sorry this update has taken so long. I was moving! I work in a major tourist destination. And I had other writer deadlines that had to take priority. But I LOVE this story and I'm not abandoning it. Depending on how long it gets, there will be around 2-3 more chapters.
Thank you for waiting. Thank you for reading <3
Ps. While I'm not super active, you can find me on tumblr as penniedreadfuls. I lurk in the Midge X Lenny tag all the time.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 16,1968.
Lenny thinks everything happens more gently from then on. For fuck’s sake they all need it. Abe and Mrs. Weissman’s last day is treated as the ones before it. A shared breakfast and conversations. Watching the kids swim around in the pool. Even Mrs. Weissman dips her toes into the shallow end.
Lenny sits with Midge on one of the lounge chairs. Her eyebrows go up as she sees her mother do this. He expects this is out of character for her.
But the late afternoon comes anyway, and Abe and Mrs. Weissman need to go home. They decline Lenny’s offer of his driving them to the airport.
“A taxi is fine,” says Mrs. Weissman, “We can’t impose on you any longer.”
While Midge hugs her mother, Abe and Lenny say their farewells.
“Don’t forget what I told you.” He wags his finger.
“I’ll write it on the inside of my eyelids.”
Abe gives him a hug. Damn it, Lenny’s going to miss the man.
After Lenny lets himself into Midge’s room and joins in her in the (his? hers? their?) bed, he asks if Midge wants to talk about her parents leaving.
She chews her lip for a moment. “They had to go back eventually. Life goes on,” she adds flatly.
“It’s a big change,” says Lenny.
“It is,” says Midge, “But I really just want to sleep.”
It’s a dismissal. But Lenny can’t bring himself to ask another, deeper, question. He doesn’t want to make her cry. Enough motherfuckers have done that already.
Still, she holds onto to him that night.
Joel is the sort of man who rips the band aid off.
Lenny’s awake first, making coffee in the kitchen. The kids are all still sleeping in Kitty’s room. No one had the balls to evict Ethan back to Sally’s. Joel knocks on the door, and Lenny is sadly required to let him in. With him are a pair of suitcases. Lenny raises an eyebrow and offers the man a cup of coffee.
“I found a flight direct to New York this afternoon,” Joel takes a sip. “I’ve got Ethan’s things with me.”
“Far behoove it of me to tell you how to raise your children, but I’m sure this will go over like a lead balloon.” Was Joel trying to stop his children from planning a counterattack by pulling the rug out from under them? Lenny would have suggested giving them more than a few hours’ notice. But if he’s learned anything from observing Joel Maisel all these years, it’s that the man wants to be the authority.
Joel huffs. “We can’t stay here forever. I’ve got another little girl who needs me. My father needs me. Things have to get back to normal.”
Lenny stifles a mean laugh. Normal? That’s fucking fairyland. A place on no maps. Normal doesn’t live here anymore, normal moved out, and certainly doesn’t have Midge’s phone number. If he wanted to pick a fight with Joel, Lenny would say that and more. “Sure, but can’t you wait ‘til tomorrow?”
“Ethan can’t—”
“—keep missing school. I’m sure having your mother get shot by a loony is a great excuse to miss your exams.”
“Don’t make this harder for me,” says Joel.
Lenny pats Joel on the arm. “I think you’re going a good job by yourself.”
Of course, it goes as Lenny expects. Tears from Esther. Arguments from Ethan. Kitty asking why they can’t stay longer. Joel pleading. Midge is almost her old self again, as she calms the children and cossets her ex-husband. Lenny sees a bit of sweat at her brow. Time for him to step in. He goes to his desk and scribbles quickly.
Ethan looks most like his mother when he’s joking around, but it turns out the resemblance gets stronger when he’s mad as well. His mouth is set in a familiar way and Lenny is ready for four letter words to come out of it. The kid glares at his father, his arms wrapped around Esther.
Lenny gives Ethan a piece of paper. “Here you go, kid. This is for you and your sister.”
Ethan examines it closely. “Who’s Leonard Schneider?”
“My secret identity.” Lenny taps the paper. “That’s my address and phone number. You wanna send your mother a post card or call her, there you go. And don’t worry about long distance. Your grandfather is paying my phone bill.”
“Thanks.” He’s back to his one word teen boy responses. Ethan folds the paper and gives it to his sister.
“I’m gonna put it in my handbag,” says Esther.
“I lose everything in my pockets,” adds Ethan.
“See, you two don’t have anything to worry about,” starts Joel, but Midge rolls her eyes in his direction, shutting him up.
“I’ll come help you pack,” says Midge. She brushes Esther’s hair with her fingertips.
“No Mama, you need to rest! Kitty can help. She put all my dresses in her closet.”
The children and Midge go to Kitty’s room, leaving Lenny to deal with Joel.
“Thanks for giving the kids your address.” Joel sounds begrudgingly grateful. Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows indeed.
“You’re welcome,” says Lenny. “But I didn’t do it for you.”
They all manage to fit into Lenny’s car to the airport. Joel rides an awkward shotgun, while Midge is squeezed into the back with the kids. The car is silent. Music, or worse, the news, would piss everyone off. Out the corner of his eye, Lenny watches Joel fidget with his hands. Ethan stares out the window. Esther sleeps against her mother. Every time Lenny looks in the rearview mirror, Kitty glares back. Her expression conferring to her dissatisfaction with the situation.
And they get stuck in Los Angeles traffic. Alas, Joel doesn’t see it as a sign.
Joel goes to check in. Lenny and Kitty carry the luggage so Midge can hold hands with her children in the terminal. Lenny thinks about the night he invited her to the Vanguard. Midge’s stoned, improvised set that left him agape and maybe a tiny bit in love. It takes real nerve for a woman to admit to a crowd of strangers she doesn’t think she was meant to be a mother. Ethan whispers into his mother’s ear and she laughs. Esther giggles. Maybe all Midge had needed was more time to become the mother she wanted to be.
Lenny pulls out of the airport parking lot. Midge makes a much better passenger than Joel. Kitty enjoys being less cramped in the backseat.
“Dad, can we get tacos?” she asks.
“You okay with tacos, Midge?”
“That’s fine,” she says and her voice wobbles.
Midge has her hand under her chin as she tries not to cry. Lenny puts on his turn signal and pulls the car over to the side of the road. Kitty’s leaning forward, touching Midge’s shoulder. Not needing to worry about getting rear ended anymore, Lenny gives his Midge his full attention.
He rubs her back, “Hey, you cry as much as you want.”
Midge goes through her purse for a handkerchief. “I just want to go home—back to the apartment.”
Lenny orders delivery. Midge says she wants to lay down before Sally arrives with her painkiller, but he convinces her to eat a little. Kitty tears through her lunch quickly. The phone rings and it’s for her. She disappears to her room. Such is the life of a teenage girl.
Midge is sleeping and Kitty asks to talk to Lenny alone. They go to her room, and the absence of Ethan and Esther adds a layer of loneliness to the otherwise happy space.
“What’s happening?”
“Alice’s parents invited us to dinner at their house,” says Kitty. “And they know about Midge, so no one’s gonna talk about Senator Kennedy or any politics. It’ll be fun! Can we go?”
Kitty is eager to impress upon him that this is a good idea.
“Let me ask Midge.”
Midge agrees to go. Lenny thinks optimistically as she styles her hair and puts on makeup. Her dress, not that he expected otherwise, is black. Alice lives in a house near the beach. Her parents are nice. Her mother is homey and pale, a transplant from the Midwest, which she elaborates on during appetizers. Lenny remembers too late that Alice’s father is fan of his. The man gushes before Lenny’s even halfway through the door. (“You got fucked over my by the man!” “Howard, you’re embarrassing him!”)
The family is gracious to Midge. Never asking her complicated questions or even hinting at her recent experiences. After dessert, they all go for a stroll on the beach. The girls wade into the water, splashing each other. Alice’s parents take turns complimenting the weather. They are putting on a show for Midge. Lenny would find this performance shallow under normal circumstances. Instead, he's touched by their kindness.
He and Midge hold hands as they walk together. Lenny runs his thumb on Midge’s knuckles, just to make sure she hasn’t floated away.
“Are you having an okay time?”
“Yeah. No offense to your apartment, but I think I was going a little stir crazy.” The breeze drags her hair over her face. Lenny tucks it back into place.
“Thanks.”
In the distance, Kitty laughs as Alice trips and falls into the water.
The pretense of Lenny sleeping on the sofa bed is fully abandoned now that Ethan and Esther have returned to New York. The kids called Midge soon after the three of them got back from dinner. Lenny is relieved the timing worked out well. Midge says her children sounded sleepy rather than upset. Ethan tells his mother he has school in the morning, but he will lie to his teachers about a stomachache and go home early. Lenny raises an approving eyebrow. Joel will love that.
Lenny showers and returns to the bedroom. He expects to see Midge falling asleep. She’s sitting upright in bed, frowning. She flips hurriedly through a copy of LIFE magazine, a copy Lenny doesn’t recognize as having.
“What are you reading?” he asks.
Midge doesn’t reply. She lifts up the magazine and her face slips into blank shock. On the cover is a man running on a beach with his dog. Lenny doesn’t understand why this specific edition would bother her, until he recognizes the subject and reads the name on the bottom of the cover. Senator Robert F. Kennedy.
Lenny sits across from her and tips the magazine down.
“Midge, where did you get this?”
“I took it from Howard and Emily's bathroom…”
The picture Midge is staring at is a black and white picture of Kennedy on the floor of the Ambassador. Lenny’s stomach gives a lurch. The photo feels like robbing a grave, a violation. A busboy is holding Kennedy up. His arm is twisted up in pain, legs out in interrupted step, his mouth a thin grimace.
“You shouldn’t have taken this.” It’s not the stealing that bothers Lenny. Why would Midge want to see the night’s tragedies spread in front of her so clearly and so soon. To examine them all alone.
“Why not?” she says. “I’m in here.”
Midge turns a page. Another black and white photo of Kennedy, dying. Through the mass of bodies and blurred motion, Lenny sees Paul, and slightly beyond him are Midge’s legs.
“Fuck,” is all Lenny is able to say.
He gets the magazine away from Midge without protest. Lenny thumbs through a few pages. The chaos at the Ambassador. Mrs. Kennedy’s arrival at the funeral. Mrs. Sirhan sobbing in the arms of a friend, horrified by the irreparable damage her son has done. Lenny closes the magazine and places it on the bed.
“I just wanted to see, I had to see,” says Midge. “You haven’t talked about it at all.”
“I didn’t think it was the right time.” How exactly does one suggest discussing a near death experience. Even Midge had held off about his own in the hospital after his overdose. It was enough to know how angry she was with him.
“What was it like? I can tell you all about the ceiling.” Midge sets her jaw. She really wants Lenny to do this.
“Well… I heard the gunshots, and I went looking for you. I knew I had to find you.”
“Thank you.” She says it reverently, like at the end of their date in Miami.
“It was very hot, noisy as hell. And I uh, saw what happened to Kennedy. And Midge, thank God you were wearing that orange dress, because it made you easy to spot.”
“I never thought of it as my color before.”
“And Mrs. Kennedy helped me get through to you.”
Midge’s eyes glisten. “I need to call her. She’ll be angry I didn’t.”
“I doubt that. She came to say goodbye to you in the hospital.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that?” snaps Midge.
“Because—”
“I’m not that fragile!”
“We all are. Fuck, Midge, there were a few moments I thought you could be dead.” Lenny swallows. He knows deep down that he got a taste of his own medicine in those seconds. Midge has waited to see if he’d live or die more than once.
“I really wanted us to have a good time. We were gonna go dancing.” Midge slumps onto the pillow.
Lenny lays next to her. “Look, if you want your own copy, I will get you one. But you have to give that back to Alice’s parents.”
“Okay. I’d like that. Would you… read it with me later.”
“Yes.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Lenny takes the magazine and hides it in Kitty’s backpack. He will explain to his daughter in the morning.
At around midnight, Midge wakes up screaming.
Next Time: Midge undone.
Notes:
Besides the appearance of Midge, the contents of the LIFE Magazine that she reads is 100 percent accurate. I own a copy. All of the pictures described are real.
Juan Romero was the Ambassador Hotel Busboy who was shaking hands with Robert F. Kennedy when he was shot. Romero was the first to offer him comfort and a rosary. Romero is one of the many interviewees in the netflix documentary series, Bobby Kennedy for President. Romero greatly underappreciates his own importance in this tragedy and clearly carried a huge amount of guilt. There is a nice moment at the end where he and Paul Shrade (Paul the Auto Union Rep, who was shot my Sirhan and survived) walk around the old Ambassador hotel, which is now a school. Romero passed away in 2018.
Chapter 12: Because You Stayed- Part Two
Summary:
Midge's pain causes her to take a drastic measure.
Notes:
Hello all! This might just be the longest chapter I have written for this story. It just kept growing and growing and I had to make it perfect.
And yes, I cried while writing this.
Thank you for reading <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 17, 1968
Lenny wakes when Midge bolts upright and screams.
It’s truly a terrible sound. The scream is high and shrill at the start and peters off into a jagged sob at the end. Lenny holds Midge around the shoulders as she starts to hyperventilate.
“Midge. Midge, you gotta look at me,” he says.
She tilts her head ever so slightly when he speaks. Her hands are clutching where she was shot. Midge’s nightgown starts to slip and for the first time, Lenny gets a clear look at the puckered pink line on her chest where she was opened up to be fixed.
The bedroom door opens, and Kitty peers around inside.
“Is everything okay?” Her eyes go from Lenny to Midge.
Midge is still breathing too fast and Lenny’s squeezing harder than he normally would. Assuring pressure is supposed to be good for panic attacks.
“I-I think I’m gonna throw up,” says Midge.
Kitty fetches the trashcan before Lenny can get out of bed. She gives it to Midge just in time. Midge grips the sides, her whole body heaving. Lenny rescues her hair from getting covered in vomit, pulling it back like a loyal sorority sister after a frat party.
“I’ll get some water,” says Kitty.
Lenny almost tells his daughter not to. Midge is his responsibility and Kitty is a teenage girl who has school in the morning. He doesn’t want to think of tonight as another incident of exposing her to adult problems.
Midge heaves again. “Fuck. I’m sorry,” she adds in a whimper.
“You don’t gotta apologize.” Lenny turns on the bedside lamp, maybe the light will scare away Midge’s nightmares. “Just try to breathe a little more slowly.”
She does, and when Kitty comes back with water in a teacup, Midge takes careful sips.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Can I get you anything else?” asks Kitty. Lenny’s relieved he somehow produced such a kindhearted young lady, but he really just wants her to go back to sleep. She is not the grownup here.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Thank you for getting the water,” says Lenny. He makes the tiniest of shooing gestures to get Kitty to step out of the room.
Alone again. Midge is dazed. Lenny takes the trashcan from her. A dribble of vomit is on her chin.
“I’m gonna get you a towel, alright?”
Midge nods. Lenny kisses her damp forehead.
He cleans out the trashcan in case they need it again. Lenny finds the prettiest of his washcloths and runs it under cold water. Midge is on her side, curled away from the door when he returns.
“Thank you,” she says before covering her face with the towel.
Lenny sits next to Midge. He rubs her back, nightgown fabric drenched in sweat. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Midge trades the towel for the water and takes another drink. “I’m in the Ambassador and I’m looking for Bobby. I’m trying to find him before… But I don’t cause it happens anyway. Again.”
“Oh Midge.”
She cries, face in Lenny’s chest. Eventually the tears stop, and Midge is restfully limp in his arms. Lenny never falls asleep that night, not really. He has to be ready if Midge wakes.
Lenny hears Kitty’s alarm go off at it’s usual time. She gently opens the door. Midge is still sleeping, and Lenny has discovered a newfound appreciation for the ceiling. What if he bothered Midge if he got up to get a book?
“Hey, sweetheart,” says Lenny.
“Dad? You’re still awake?” His daughter says this like she’s the parent.
“I’ll be fine, just go to school.”
Kitty asks about Midge, and Lenny explains the magazine and how he put it in her backpack to be returned to Alice’s parents.
“I can skip? School’s practically over,” argues Kitty.
“Nope, go to school.”
Midge mumbles into full consciousness an hour or so later. She rolls over, smacking herself in the face.
“Hmm…” she groans.
“Good morning,” says Lenny, hoping the bags under his eyes aren’t obviously worse.
“I feel hungover.”
“I can promise you aren’t, since you didn’t drink anything other than water.”
Midge snuggles up closer. “I didn’t scream again, did I?”
“You were a complete rock. I was starting to wonder if you were Medusa.”
“Well, she did have great hair.”
He laughs, and then wonders when was the last time Midge made a joke?
With Kitty at school, Lenny and Midge start a quieter, smaller routine of their own. There’s breakfast, dishes, and tidying up the apartment. While Midge takes a shower, Lenny sets up for writing. Midge comes back in a simple gray dress, hair styled low past her shoulders.
“Can I read what you’ve been working on?”
Lenny gives her his first three chapters. “I’ve gotten some complaints about my comma use.”
Midge sits on the sofa, feet on the coffee table. “I have to use that college degree for something.”
“Isn’t in in Russian Literature?”
“Yes. Now hush and do your work.”
Lenny ends up napping on the sofa. He told himself, and Midge, that he just needed to rest his eyes for a moment. And no, he didn’t lose much sleep last night. He hates to lie to her, but it’s not really a lie, just a kindness.
The nap ends when he smells food. Midge made them grilled cheese sandwiches with a side of Campbell’s tomato soup.
“Made with whatever I could find in your refrigerator. I think a grocery trip is in order.” Midge pulls her triangled sandwiched apart, cheese stretching in deliciousness.
“We can go after my mother stops by,” says Lenny. He takes a bite. “What did you put in here?”
“Secret ingredient. It’s mustard. Sally already came. We decided not to wake you up.”
Lenny nods. When the soup disappears and the grilled cheese becomes crumbs, he brings up the question he’d been thinking about since the early hours.
“Midge, are you doing okay?”
“Lenny…” She sighs and crosses her arms.
“You went through something very traumatic. There’s no shame in needing to talk to somebody.”
“I know.” Midge reaches across the table to hold his hand. “I’m okay. I probably shouldn’t have looked at those pictures. Some horrible curiosity got the better of me.”
“I sent it back to school with Kitty. I think Howard and Emily will understand.”
“I think I just needed another big cry. And… I’ve decided I’m gonna call Ethel.”
These are all things Lenny wants to hear. But Midge would know this. They know each other. He knows her well enough to wonder if she’s giving him a performance, even an unintentional one.
“I’ll give you your privacy,” says Lenny. “I can sit out by the pool.”
“Not right now, but later.”
And the conversation moves onto other subjects.
Lenny needs to go to a meeting. Habits are habits and good habits need tending more than the bad ones. Advising Midge to talk to someone doesn’t hold water if doesn’t take care of himself. He’s hesitant about leaving Midge and Kitty alone, an annoying, niggling feeling, that he tries to push past.
The two of them promise they’ll be perfectly fine without him. Lenny gets in his car and goes.
Lenny tells himself he will stay for the whole meeting, and he does. He checks in with Roger, talks to his sponsor, Peter. It’s a relief to know that despite everything, he’s still attending. That he can still do this for himself and everyone around him.
But as soon as the meeting’s over, Lenny is back in his car driving home. He’s only been gone for little over an hour, lately time feels off. The night at the Ambassador could have lasted days, and the week at the hospital slipped by in endless monotony. Anyway, Lenny is relieved when he turns on his street.
Before he even pulls his car into his spot, Kitty is out the door, running down the stairs in a hurry. Lenny does a shitty parking job and he’s barely out of the vehicle before his daughter explains everything in a single breath.
“Dad! Dad, Midge locked herself in the bathroom and she won’t come out! I knocked and all she says is that she can’t come out!”
Shit. Lenny is up the stairs, Kitty following behind. “You call your grandmother?”
“I did! But she didn’t answer! I didn’t wanna call the police, please don’t be mad, Dad!” Kitty says, her voice breaking.
Lenny pats Kitty on the cheek. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing.”
She sniffles. “Okay.”
He gets to the bathroom door. He knocks and jiggles the knob. Locked. “Midge, what’s going on?”
“I can’t open the door, Lenny,” Midge says quietly.
Lenny lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You gotta. Please, can you do that for me, Midge?”
Kitty stands behind him, her hands clasped under her chin, nervously watching.
“I can’t…” says Midge.
Time to change his approach. How about some humor. “Midge, please don’t turn me into the LAPD.” Lenny could break the door down if he wanted. He really really doesn’t want to. But if Midge is in danger…
“Lenny, I just….”
He takes a deep breath and the voice that comes out of him is not unkind, but firmer than he’s even been with Midge. More than Carnegie Hall. He has to try this way, parent to parent. “Miriam. You’re scaring Kitty and that’s not allowed in this house. Please open the door.”
A heartbeat. The lock clicks.
Lenny holds out his hand to prevent Kitty from following him into the bathroom. He’s ready for anything. Tears. Blood. Some unforeseen disaster. But once he gets inside, he finds Midge standing in his bathrobe, swaths of her hair cut off. Long brown locks in the sink and by her feet. She grips the scissors in one hand, while the other fingers the jagged ends. It’s the disturbing adult version of a kid playing hairdresser.
Midge covers her face.
“Hang on.”
Lenny assures Kitty Midge is fine. His daughter cries in relief. He asks Kitty to go to her room and put a record on. He needs to talk to Midge in private. Kitty shuts her door and the comforting sounds of the Beach Boys soon follow.
Alone now, Midge speaks first. “I’m sorry I upset Kitty. I just couldn’t… It’s…” She touches what’s left of her hair. Much of the backs length remains, but the front is short and raggedy. Whatever she could reach easily snipped.
“It’s…” Just hair, he’s about to say. But stops himself, remembering for the first time in ages how much of Midge’s sense of self derives from her perceived beauty.
“Awful!” snaps Midge.
“Why did you do it,” he asks gently. Lenny knows the siren call of wanting to hurt yourself. When a certain pain begs for another. They are lucky Midge picked something as non-lethal as cutting off your hair.
“I don’t know!” Midge pulls on her hair, more of it coming off her head as she does. “I’m—I’m so angry, Lenny.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Richard Nixon is gonna be president and I’m gonna have to feed Ethan to Vietnam!”
“I will help Ethan dodge the draft,” promises Lenny. “Would he prefer Canada or Mexico? How about Australia?”
“You’re not taking this seriously!”
“I am trying to get you to stop spiraling.”
“Am I not allowed,” says Midge, her chest rising and falling fast. “All I can think about is Bobby fading away on the floor while assholes take pictures! Fuck—I didn’t agree with everything he did, but he was my friend and why am I still here and he’s not?”
“Midge.” Lenny tries to reach for her, but she turns away, shrinking. “Look, if he was as good of a man as you believed him to be, I think he’d be pretty fucking heartbroken to hear you say that.”
The tears have started. “I’m just a comedian.”
“You are so many more things.” Midge the artist, Midge the mother, Midge his dear friend, Midge the stubborn, Midge the daughter, Midge whose kindness saved him when he needed it, and Midge herself it all her infinite variety.
Midge doesn’t hear him, “and I’m never gonna be funny again.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Really? Lenny, I get up on any stage people are gonna look at me and know what happened! Midge Maisel! Didn’t she get shot by a maniac? I hope she tells a joke about it!” Midge pauses to catch her breath. “I’ll never find anything funny about this. And look, my tits are ruined!”
Midge opens the robe, revealing her bare breasts and a healing bullet hole. A pink surgical scar traveling through it down from her collarbone. She sobs now, starting a slow descent down to the floor. Lenny catches her and they kneel together.
“Midge, you have the world’s greatest pair of tits. It’s always an honor to have my hands or mouth on them.”
“Yeah, but I’m never gonna be funny again,” she says into his shoulder.
“I don’t know, you look pretty funny with that haircut.”
Midge gives a strangled laugh. “Stop it! I’m trying to have a mental breakdown.”
“Hey, no matter what happens I’ve got you.” Lenny pries Midge’s face away from his shoulder, wiping tears away with his thumb.
“You’re not gonna push me away again? Cause you did, and it hurts when you pretend you didn’t, Lenny.”
He sighs, time for some real honesty. He’s grateful he still hears the Beach Boys coming from Kitty’s room. She absolutely cannot hear what he’s about to say.
“I kept my distance because I don’t want to hurt you when I end up relapsing,” says Lenny.
Midge frowns in concern. “Are you at risk right now?”
“No, but I’m going to one of these days.”
“And who told you that?” Midge says, a fire coming back to her voice.
“Nobody, I just know.” Nice job fixing your life, Lenny. Enjoy it while it lasts…
“So that’s your excuse? You’re gonna let some self-doubt pick away at all your progress?”
“It’s more than just that. Midge, when I inevitably fuck up, I want you as far away from me as possible.”
“Oh, you so can do that to your mother and Kitty?”
A low blow but he deserves it. “Well, they’re stuck with me.”
Midge seizes Lenny’s shirt and shakes him, her blue eyes glaring. “And I’m not? After everything, I’m not? You know what you sound like right now? A complete schmuck! If you fuck up again, we will deal with it together.”
Lenny drops Midge’s intense stare. “And what if I fuck up permanently?” he whispers.
“Then I will deal with it on your behalf. And Lenny, that is a worst case scenario, I’m never ever giving you permission.”
“I know,” he pauses. “Weren’t we supposed to be talking about your problems?”
“I think we’ve reached the point your problems are my problems, and my problems are your problems. You know, our problems.”
Lenny swallows. “So we walk out of this room and solve them together?”
“There’s no one else I want to with.”
They stare at each other expectantly. A decade can go by and they can still make the air between them heavy with unspoken desires. I didn’t know how to tell you.
“If I didn’t know any better, that sounds like you’re asking me—”
“To be a real couple,” finishes Midge. “Shit. I wanted to have better hair and be wearing something nice.”
“Your tits are out, it’s good a look on you.”
Midge rolls her eyes and closes the robe. “So?”
“Are you sure?”
“We already know everything about each other. The good, the bad, the sensational.”
“You’ve met my mother.”
“You’ve met Joel.”
“Unfortunately.”
“My parents love you.”
“Thank God. Our kids get along.”
“See, perfect! Anything else I should know,” says Midge.
“I love you.”
Her response is to kiss him, and it’s the best kiss they’ve ever shared. Even if Midge’s nose is running and Lenny’s due for a shave. That first kiss in the blue room was the start of a finite, contained moment, a single night for only the two of them. But this is the beginning of the rest of their lives, in all it’s wonder and ugliness.
Lenny helps Midge to her feet, and hand in hand they leave the bathroom.
Notes:
Two more parts left!
An epilogue of sorts and a Post-Script.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It makes my day each time.
Chapter 13: It’s the End of the Sixties, Man- Part One
Summary:
Midge makes amends. Lenny proves a point.
Notes:
SO! I am back! I stepped away from this fic because I was trying to write a story for a submission call (didn't get in but that's life).
I originally figured this would have two more chapters, but considering that this one started getting very long, it was time to split them up again. And who am I to deprive you all of more MidgeLenny content? ASP?
Thanks for your patience.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Midge runs her thumb over Lenny’s knuckles as they walk together to Kitty’s room. Midge fiddles with her hair. Lenny kisses the top of her head, hoping the gesture will banish her perfectionism.
“It’s going to be okay,” and for the first time in ages, he believes it. He knocks on Kitty’s door.
“Come in,” she says feebly.
Lenny finds his daughter sitting on her bed, pillow clutched to her chest. Kitty’s eyes are wide and full of tears. She doesn’t say anything about Midge’s hair, not that Lenny expected her to.
“Oh Kitty, I’m so sorry,” says Midge, the last words getting lost in a jumble of sadness.
“You don’t gotta apologize.” Kitty goes over and hugs her.
“I do.” Midge rubs Kitty’s arm like a mother. “It’s been a lot harder than I’ve wanted to let on. And…I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I’m glad you’re not hurt. I love you, Midge.”
“I love you too, Kitty.”
And Lenny finds himself blinking back a few tears of his own. So many things could have prevented this moment from happening. This is its own miracle. Midge, clearly knowing him better than he knows himself, grabs him.
“You got to be in this hug, it’s mandatory.”
“What a punishment,” he jokes and holds them both close.
Lenny orders an obscene amount of Chinese food and calls his mother.
“Hey Ma, we’ve had a bit of a situation here. You know anyone who does hair and isn’t a judgmental asshole?”
Turns out, she does. Sally brings in a young man who carries two armloads of products and equipment. Lenny never thought anyone needed so many different types of hair spray. Gil examines Midge in the living room with professional gentleness.
“Are you gonna have to shave my head,” asks Midge.
“Don’t worry, dear. This is salvageable. But it is going to have to be short.”
Midge sets her jaw and nods.
Lenny and his mother eat lo mien and dumplings while Gil works his magic in the bathroom. Kitty in attendance for moral support. A hairdryer runs and soon after Gil comes and announces that Midge wants them to come and see.
She and Kitty are looking at their reflections in the mirror. Kitty, gazing approvingly. Midge’s hair has been trimmed down to a pixie cut, she carefully runs her fingers through it, testing out the new length.
“I’ve never had it this short before.”
“You look beautiful.” They may just be words, but Lenny means them. The cut shows off the shape of Midge’s face, and well, if that isn’t something he loves.
“It’s very chic,” says Sally. “If you can’t stand it, I know a lot of good wig stores.”
“I think she looks like the woman from Rosemary’s Baby,” says Kitty.
Lenny raises an eyebrow, wondering how his daughter saw that movie.
“Mia Farrow?” Midge seems to lighten at the comparison.
Lenny runs with it. “You look so much like Mia Farrow, Frank Sinatra is going to come to my apartment and punch me in the face.”
Midge snorts and starts laughing.
June 18, 1968
Midge sits on the bed, phone next to her. Lenny’s already made sure there is a box of tissues and a glass of water nearby. Midge wears a green sundress Lenny finds himself growing fond of. He found her in the bathroom that morning styling her short new hair the way she wanted it to be. Lenny thinks she looks incredibly lovely, but a frown still pinches her eyebrows together.
“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” says Lenny, “but if she doesn’t, that’s on her.”
Midge sighs, her new bangs tickling her forehead. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Lenny gives Midge her privacy, not knowing how long she’s going to speak with Mrs. Kennedy, but he will not interrupt unless… well, something happens. He doesn’t want to distract Midge with the click-clack of the typewriter, so Lenny works on his book by hand.
Around an hour later, he hears a watery voice calling his name. Time to obey his summons. Midge sits with an empty glass and a ball of tissues in her fist. Tears continue to run, but even at a glace Lenny can tell these are ones of relief.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she says with a sniff. “Can you hold me?”
Lenny sits next to her. “With one arm or two?”
Midge giggles. “Both.”
Lenny does as he’s asked. Midge leans into his chest. “Am I allowed to ask how it went?”
“It was good, but hard. She’s just so sad.”
They sit together until Kitty comes home.
June 21, 1968
It’s Kitty’s last day of school and like the wonderful father he is, Lenny lets his daughter have a slumber party with friends. With only the two of them to feed, Midge cooks a brisket. The pair have an exceedingly fancy dinner for people who have gotten into their pajamas by eight pm.
Midge lays on the sofa with Lenny, her legs swung over his lap. They watch The Don Rickles show, and Lenny’s heart feels less bruised watching her laugh at the TV.
“Did you know I made a joke about Rickles having a nice pair of tits?” says Midge.
Lenny raises an eyebrow. “When was that?”
“My first night at the Gaslight. I’d just flashed mine—”
“Always a great way to end a set.”
“And I suggested Rickles might have a shapely bosom as well.”
Lenny claps his hands together. “Now you gotta get on his show and ask him.”
“That will be a quick cut to commercial.”
Their laughs fade and the conversation becomes quiet as the show does go on break. The realization comes during a soap ad. He and Midge are truly alone for the first time in years. Kitty won’t be back until Saturday afternoon at the latest. And by the time Don Rickles returns to the screen, Lenny can swear the tension is fogging up his glasses.
At the very least the tension is not agonizing like the night in Miami or as simmering as the blue room, where Lenny thought the Carnegie Hall sponsored hotel room furniture would burst into flame. No, it is the friendly sort, the kind of tension that comes from considering the possibility of a good moment. His hand is on Midge’s knee (a matter of fact, engaging, not immediately sexual), and her ass is pressed next to his leg (small sofa, comfortable, a tiny bit flirty). Lenny tries to think of a good line before the next commercial break. But Midge speaks first.
“So.”
“Yes?”
“How… long did you say Kitty would be gone?” Midge asks in a polite, curious way.
“Emily said to pick her up after noon. Teenage girls don’t actually sleep at sleepovers, do they?”
“Nope! We’re too busy plotting the doom of boys who are mean to us.”
“So serious business?”
They laugh again. Midge starts picking at her nails, chipping off pink polish. Lenny takes his hand off her knee and holds hers.
“Do you want to have sex?” Midge asks bluntly.
“You really skipping the foreplay, huh” says Lenny, taken aback.
“Well, do you?”
“With you, yes.”
“See, easy question,” says Midge, crossing her arms.
“Yes, but it doesn’t seem to be something you’re interested in. And I’m not doing anything you don’t want to do.”
“What makes you think that? I asked, didn’t I?”
“Because you’re nervous.” It had been several years since they were intimate in that way. If Midge asked if he remembered the last time they’d had sex, Lenny would lie. Her, pissed off on his behalf, a contempt of court charge slapped on her wrist. Him, depressed and mad at her for putting her reputation at risk, too sick to be doing this and trying to hide the track marks on his arms. Midge laying on his chest afterwards, hand over his heart. You’re breaking my heart, Lenny. I know.
“No, I’m not.”
“You’ve picked off an entire pinky nail of polish.”
Midge mumbles something Lenny can’t hear.
“Excuse me?”
“I feel very ugly right now!”
“Midge…”
“I’ve barely got any hair!”
“Then we go wig shopping til you feel better—”
“I haven’t shaved in weeks!”
“My arms are hairier than your legs.” Lenny puts the body parts next to them to prove the comparison.
“And I have a horrible scar.”
“That scar means you’re alive. What’s more desirable than being alive?”
Midge sighs. “Fine you win. I’m being silly.”
“Okay, now you listen.” Lenny takes her hand and squishes it into his stomach. “You feel that? That’s called sobriety’s extra thirty pounds. Turns out having food for breakfast instead of morphine makes you put on a little weight.”
Midge looks away, a little chastened. She gives him a poke in the gut. “It looks good on you.”
“Do you still feel ugly?”
“No.”
“Still feel nervous?”
“No, just a little… interested.”
Midge sits up and scooches closer to him. He raises an eye brow.
“Just a little?”
With not enough time to inhale, Midge is in his lap. She curls up against him, like she was always supposed to be there. Lenny runs his hand up her leg to the folded hem of her night gown.
“More than a little, but I’m supposed to be a lady about it.”
Lenny kisses her, stroking the new soft feel of her hair. Midge smiles when they part.
“This is a very small sofa,” he says.
“I guess we’ll have to go somewhere else.”
He picks up Midge and carries her to the bedroom. They take their time. They have the privilege of getting reacquainted. Talking. Touching. Did she still enjoy the same things? Was he to avoid the scar or embrace it? (“Yes, you can.”) He gives it a kiss. A contented amount of foreplay later, Midge wants to be on top.
“Please tell me if you start to get dizzy,” he says.
Midge rolls her eyes. “I don’t know if your dick is that good.”
Here and now, they both laugh at the start.
Next Time: Midge goes home.
Notes:
If all goes according to plan, there is one more chapter and then an epilogue. But considering I thought this fic would be like 10k words, I've been wrong before.
Also Season 5? I don't know her.
Chapter 14: It’s the End of the Sixties, Man- Part Two
Summary:
Midge goes home.
Notes:
Oh my. We have reached the last chapter before the epilogue. I can't believe it. I want to thank each and every one of you for reading and commenting, and putting up with my hiatuses. I really appreciate it. YOU have all made being a part of this fandom worth it. <3 I've loved talking to you all.
And ASP's Season 5? *yawn*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
June 26, 1968
Lenny reaches across Kitty to caress Midge’s shoulder as the plane lands in Washington D.C. Midge wanted to look out the window, concealed away from the movement of the aisle. Kitty ended up nestled between them, as Lenny wanted to protect his ladies by being in the outermost seat. Midge wore a pair of giant sunglasses and Lenny let his 5 o’clock shadow creep back into a full beard. No one recognized them. Besides, it was first class. No one would bother you there.
Arlington is honestly a bit of gut punch. Rows upon rows of little white tombstones remind Lenny how much America loves its wars. Every one represents a black hole large enough for an entire family to fit in. He’d never want to be buried here. Granted, he can’t fault the Kennedys for putting their senator next to their president. If Lenny had a brother, he’d probably want to spend eternity next to him too.
Midge brings flowers. Kitty has made a paper crane. And Lenny decides to be a good example of his people and has a rock. A nice one. He found it on a beach back home. Maybe somewhere Kennedy can appreciate one nice thing from California.
When the three of them get to the entrance of Arlington, they find their visit to be an expected one. They get an honor guard to escort them to the gravesite. Midge doesn’t seem too surprised. Lenny raises an eyebrow at her.
“I might have told Ethel our plans when she called me,” admits Midge.
The escort is a bit strange, but it allows them to get as close to the grave as they want. President Kennedy’s grave is not ostentatious but far grander than what his brother gets. Compared to the immortal flame, Bobby Kennedy has his name and dates on a simple white stone with a cross nearby.
Lenny and Kitty give Midge the space to go up alone. She kneels down and places her flowers to the side of the stone. Lenny feels a slight guilt at watching this private moment, but he doesn’t want to be caught unawares if Midge needs him. She slips off one of her gloves and puts her hand on the stone.
“I’m sorry, Bobby,” she says quietly. Midge gives the stone one more pat and stands. “You two can come over here.”
Kitty tucks her crane into Midge’s flowers and Lenny puts his rock on the grass. Midge drifts next to him. He puts his arm around her. They are silent.
“Should we say the Kaddish?” says Lenny.
Midge nods. “I think he would’ve appreciated it.”
Before they get on the train to New York, Midge calls Susie from one of the station’s phone booths. When she returns to their bench, Lenny notices she’s a bit pale.
“God forbid, did Susie lose control of a situation,” he says.
Midge sits, sighing deeply as she does. “She needed to warn me that everyone’s at the apartment.”
“When you say everyone—”
“My parents, Noah, Astrid, Chaim, Joel, Mei—’’
“You’re gonna need a bigger table.”
“I can go in first and tell them all to go away,” offers Kitty.
Midge kisses her on the head. “You don’t need to. Susie wanted to warn me. I know everyone wants to see me, but I really just need to sleep in my own bed. I haven’t in months.”
Lenny checks his watch. “The moment we walk though the door, they have fifteen minutes—”
“Let’s give them twenty, I’m feeling generous.”
“Then they have to leave you be.”
Midge gives her people a half hour. Her welcome home is more lovely than overwhelming. The children get to greet her first, Ethan, Esther, Chaim, and the adorable Jia Maisel. The littlest girl later introduces herself to Lenny in English and Mandarin and tells him he has terrible posture.
Mei and Zelda teamed up to make a good dinner. The apartment smells overwhelmingly good. While Midge talks to her mother and sister-in-law, Lenny gets introduced to Moishe and Shirley, courtesy of Abe. Being around them suddenly explains so much. Lenny tries not to delight at Joel’s annoyance that his parents like Lenny.
Once Midge is settled on the sofa next to her brother, Mrs. Weissman brings out a pink hat box tied with a matching ribbon.
“Miriam, this is for you,” says Mrs. Weissman. “Open it when you’re ready.”
“Suggesting something about my haircut Mama?” Midge says in a way that Lenny hopes is joking.
“No!” says Mrs. Weissman, affronted. “These are your sympathy cards.”
“Oh.” Midge reverently takes the box. She starts to untie the ribbon but stops.
“Susie and I sorted them. These are just from your friends. Shy Baldwin, the Ettenburgs, Gordon Ford, No Mama Alone… the Wolford Ladies.”
“When you said ‘just’ friends,” asks Lenny.
Susie joins in. “There are seven boxes. We gave the president and all politicians their own. I wanted to put Sophie Lennon’s in the trash. But the old bat actually wrote something nice.”
Midge blinks. “I have seven boxes of cards.”
“I thought it was eight,” says Abe.
“I donated a hat box,” says Mei.
Midge laughs, although the tears come anyway.
Eventually, everyone doesn’t live in the apartment leaves. Ethan and Esther take Kitty on an apartment tour. Midge goes to her room for a well-deserved rest. Lenny half-assedly works on his book. He waits for Midge to wake from a nightmare. But here, back at home, it never comes.
The Rest of 1968.
Lenny and Kitty stay until the end of July. He contemplates a move back to good old New York. But his little girl has waited so long for stability. Lenny refuses to yank her away from her friends and school just because he has a girlfriend. (Girlfriend is a weird word for Midge. He thinks it makes his feelings for her sound small. An upgrade is in the near future.).
So he and Midge run up the most exorbitant long distance phone bill. Sometimes he leaves her on the line as he writes, pausing to read sentences aloud and asking her if it doesn’t sound shitty.
She shares her letters with him. Not all of them. Midge tells him she feels like a priest, people revealing their deepest pains in the hopes of comforting her. There are days when she can only bring herself to finish one, others where she reads them by the handful.
Lenny’s relieved to know her pink notebook is still accruing ideas. Midge has no immediate plans to return to the dark side of the microphone. Yet, the comedian brain can never be turned off.
“Am I still funny?” she asks often. It’s become a private joke for them.
“Always.”
The 1968 election still continues. Midge contacts the Good Samaritan Hospital and gets the campaign pin she was wearing sent back to her. Midge tells Lenny she’s put it at the bottom of a jewelry box, next to her wedding rings. Happy memories with sad endings.
The Democratic National Convention is a disaster. Lenny follows the news. Kitty wants to talk about it. He doesn’t bring up politics with Midge, but she calls him when Jackie Kennedy marries Aristotle Onassis.
“Bobby hated him,” says Midge. “But I can understand why she married Onassis. The last person who made her feel safe is gone… If I didn’t have you I would’ve—”
“Married an actually Turkish Greek Shipping Magnate?”
“God, I feel sorry for that version of Midge.”
“Me too.”
Richard Nixon becomes the 37th president of the United States. Lenny gets a phone call from Midge in the middle of the night, his victory giving her a particularly nasty nightmare.
In the middle of December, he gets a birth announcement for a Rory Elizabeth Catherine Kennedy. Lenny’s touched Mrs. Kennedy bothered to send him one. When Kitty’s done with school, they fly back to New York, and the timing is right for Midge to him along to the baptism.
During the mass, he does whatever Midge does. At lot of kneeling and bowing, and sitting and more kneeling, and they’re always a second behind everyone else. It’s fine, the weirdest thing to happen has nothing to do with Catholicism. The new Mrs. Onassis gives him and Midge a nod of acknowledgement as peace is passed.
At the reception afterwards, Lenny watches all the kids run around. He’s impressed Midge can tell them apart. He’s grateful he only has one to be responsible for. Okay, Ethan and Esther are kind of his now too, but at least he can count all of them on a single hand.
Lenny finds himself talking to one of the boys, a sweet if lost looking kid around Ethan’s age. He figures out his name’s David. He knows who Lenny is and Lenny wonders what his mother must think about that. Lenny references an old bit and David laughs. Lenny feels a bit prouder of his humor than he has in a while.
Midge brings Lenny over to meet the baby. Mrs. Kennedy passes Rory to Midge’s waiting arms.
“Oh Ethel, she’s beautiful.”
“She’s the joy of my life,” says Mrs. Kennedy.
Midge rocks and pats the baby’s back. “Hi Rory! I’m Midge. I was friends with your daddy.”
Rory takes in the world with a big pair of blue eyes. Lenny smiles and holds her round baby hand between his fingers.
In the taxi back to their hotel, he and Midge talk about the christening.
“Rory’s a cute baby,” he says.
“Almost makes you want to have another one.”
Lenny raises an eyebrow. They both burst out laughing.
“Absolutely not!” says Midge.
“We can find one to borrow on a rainy afternoon. Give him back before dinner time.”
And Onto 1969.
After the new year, Midge begins to talk about performing. Lenny tells her he’ll support her whenever she’s ready. Susie says venues have been asking about booking Midge, but all of them are too big, too intimidating.
There’s no rush, besides Lenny and Midge have been busy with other things.
After Valentine’s Day, Midge says she wants to go back to The Gaslight.
“It will be the best place to become Midge Maisel again.”
Susie promises she’ll take care of it.
“Do you need me to do anything?” Lenny asks her.
“Sit your ass down and laugh at Midge."
Midge decides to wear a pink dress with a matching scarf elegantly draped over her shoulders, hiding what little scar appears in the low neckline. Her hair’s grown back fast. Something about her mother giving her vitamins.
The Gaslight is packed. Lenny accepts the privilege of sitting at the bar with a perfect view of the stage. He tries not to get soppy at the memory of Midge opening for him. He can almost smell her perfume and feel the soft fabric of her dress under his hand.
Susie swears she didn’t advertise Midge’s performance. Word of mouth does wonders. The door man admits they’ve needed to start turning people away.
The MC comes out on stage. He’s a beatnik with the scraggliest beard Lenny’s ever seen.
“Back for the first time in years, the Mad Divorcee of the Upper West Side, the Queen of Comedy, our very own Midge Maisel.”
Midge climbs on stage and does a little twirl. Lenny claps until his hands hurt. The audience hoots and cheers for nearly five minutes, not letting Midge start her set. She beams. When the applause starts to fade, Midge leans into the microphone and grins.
“Wow, you are a comedian’s dream audience. I could just say anything and you’d laugh.”
“We love you, Midge,” someone shouts.
“Thank you! And speaking of love, I got engaged again!” Midge flashes her hand, wiggling her fingers. Her engagement ring is one she and Lenny designed together. A gold band with two diamonds intertwined. A pink and a blue, forever stuck, never to be meant without the other.
The audience hollers.
“Thank you, thank you! This relationship is so different than my previous ones,” says Midge. She takes the mic off the stand, running the wire between her experienced fingers. “Because we’ve been friends for so long. He knows all of my secrets and I know all of his. Plenty of women catastrophize about what their man would do in a disaster.”
A couple of women clap in affirmation.
“See you know what I mean,” continues Midge. “Would he rise to the occasion or point to the attic and say ‘she’s up there!’”
More laughs.
“My fiancé and I have gone through so much bullshit together; our paranoid fantasies have had to get weirder. What would we do if the other almost died? Been there, done that, got the very ugly itchy t-shirt. Would he still love me if I cut all my hair off in his bathroom?”
The audience groans sympathetically.
“Hey! It’s funny cause he did! Now I think about what we would do if aliens invaded? I’m sure he thinks I’d ask about the little green men’s hat policies. Or tell them that green is a terrible winter color.”
At the end of her set, Midge runs off the stage and into his embrace. 1958 and 1969 both exist in the same moment. Lenny wishes he could whisper in his past self’s ear, promising him it will be so hard, but Midge will be right next to him as it gets better.
“You are sensational,” he says before Midge can ask.
She kisses him. “So are you.”
Next Time For The Last Time: What does Midge think, fifty years later?
Notes:
My uncle is buried in Arlington. I've never visited his grave, but I will the next time I'm in Washington DC.
The 1968 Democratic Convention was a real shit show. It would take too long to summarize here.
Bobby Kennedy and Aristole Onassis HATED each other. Onassis called him an "arrogant little prick," and RFK is reported to have wished that someone "would sink his fucking yacht with the Greek son of a bitch on it."
Rory Kennedy was born 6 months after her father's death. She's a documentary filmmaker, including Ghost of Abu Ghraib, and Ethel. The latter where she interviews her mother and surviving siblings. Ethel does in fact call the birth of her youngest daughter the joy of her life. I did not make that up.
Chapter 15: Transcript of NPR’s Interview with Midge Maisel, June 17, 2018
Summary:
Midge Maisel discusses her new book.
Notes:
Holy shit. The end. Omg. THANK YOU. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for putting up with my inconsistent update schedule. We have reached the end. I can't believe it. I'm glad I got to give Midge and Lenny the ending they deserved.
You are all lovely. You are all sensational.
Take care. I'll see you around.- Rachel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
NPR: Whether you’ve seen her perform, heard her in cartoons, or watched her fight with Donald Trump on Twitter—
MM: He blocked me! One of my finest achievements.
NPR: Grammy and Emmy award winner, Midge Maisel has stayed busy for 60 years. Today we are discussing the release of her new book, My Tits are Still Up. What a title!
MM: My manager Susie, (laughs) well, she’s my manager emerita. She came up with the title.
NPR: This is your third book, but your second memoir. My Tits are Still Up is very different from your last one, because you aren’t afraid of writing about some difficult topics, some you have never spoken about publicity. Why did you decide now is the time?
MM: (Laughs) That’s the thing, I’m about to be eighty-five, time is a bit of a premium for me. And my husband, he wrote… nine, no wait, ten…
(Midge Maisel counts on her fingers)
MM: Definitely ten. Books were always Lenny’s thing. But he always encouraged me to write out my feelings if I didn’t want to turn them into comedy. And the things I write about in My Tits—Do I have to say the whole title?
NPR: (Laughs) My Tits is fine.
MM: What I write about in My Tits are things I could never find the humor in. The deaths of my parents, taking care of Lenny after his strokes. How much I (redacted) hate being a widow! Oops! I’m sorry!
NPR: Don’t worry, we will cut it for broadcast.
MM: I’ve been dropping f-bombs, my whole career. Take mercy on an old lady! And being such, I wanted to make peace with a few things before I shuffle off. Maybe if I wrote about these difficult things, it would help people. I still get mail about What to Wear When Picking Up Your Husband From Rehab!
NPR: Midge’s 1981 essay about her husband’s relapse.
MM: Lenny was always open about these things. He encouraged me to write the essay. It was our way of working through all the emotions. I put an annotated version of it in My Tits. Including some comments Lenny made on the first draft.
NPR: You write with such love for your husband and family. I have to ask about the recording of One Night with Midge Maisel and Lenny Bruce. The two of you had made a point of never performing together.
MM: We didn’t want to overshadow the other. Besides, in our stand up we only ever wanted to be “my husband Lenny” or “my wife Midge.” But when the AIDS Medical Foundation contacted us about a fundraiser, we had to say yes. Just on the condition it would never be recorded.
NPR: Which someone sneakily did. What did you think about the audio being posted on YouTube last year?
MM: If you asked me twenty years ago, I’d have been (redacted) pissed. But now it’s just a joy to hear Lenny’s voice and how much people laughed.
NPR: In My Tits are Still Up you divide sections by years, you write about your widowhood in 2007: My Year of Agoraphobia.
MM: I basically retired in 2005 when Lenny had his first stroke. I mean, we had had so much time together. We’d been so lucky, cause I’m sure there are versions of us somewhere where we didn’t. But we knew our time was limited and I wanted to spend it with him and our family. When he lost his ability to speak, he’d still be writing jokes on his dry erase board. Or get our grandson to put a woopie cushion under my chair. But after…after he died, I sort of stopped.
NPR: You didn’t leave your house for a whole year.
MM: I didn’t mean to! It just sort of happened. It’s not as if I was alone. Our kids were there. My ex-husband and his wife would come and bring me food. But I declined any invitation to go out. Ask anyone, I’m very stubborn. And everyone felt sorry for me, so no one used any trickery to get me outside. But that’s how I got into voice acting. I could do it all from home. There’s an entire generation of kids who know me as Granny on Terry Tuppence. The creator, Agnes Greenfield, had wanted a “Midge Maisel type” to voice her, and luckily the real deal was available.
NPR: In the past ten years you’ve created quite the voice actress resume: Trudy Beekman on Archer, a bird version of yourself on Bojack Horseman, Bob’s Burgers, Rick and Morty, and an upcoming Disney cameo—
MM: Can’t talk about that! I signed an NDA. Becoming a voice actress was the only good thing to come from my widowhood. 2007 was certainly one of my (redacted) years.
NPR: The middle of the book is devoted to a history you’ve never—
MM: You forgot I testified in front of congress about gun control! I didn’t name anyone, but I talked about being wounded and losing a friend to gun violence.
NPR: My apologies. 1968: The Year that Ruined My Tits is the first time you have written about your friendship with Robert F. Kennedy and the aftermath of his assassination.
MM: Unlike anything else that’s happened in my life, Bobby’s death never felt like something that happened to me. That (redacted) never meant to shoot me, I was just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like it didn't belonged to me. I didn’t want to step on his family’s toes. I remember with such clarity how I felt when I realized Lenny was going to tell me Bobby was dead. It’s too painful.
NPR: Do you still keep in touch with the Kennedy’s?
MM: Sometimes I would end up at the same parties at Jackie O. I’m still amazed she’d speak to me. I made her cry once! Bobby’s son David lived with Lenny and I on and off for a few years back in the 80s. Kid needed a space to get his head screwed on right. Still calls me every week.
NPR: What about Ethel Kennedy? Would you say you’re still close?
MM: I wish I could say otherwise. She did some to Lenny’s funeral and that’s the last time I saw her in person. We exchange Hanukkah and Christmas Cards, the occasional email. There wasn’t any big fight, we just drifted apart. There were things we never agreed on. Plus I never got along with Ted Kennedy. He’s dead now, so I can say he grabbed my ass at the first Kennedy center honors. That’s in the book too!
NPR: You appear in the Netflix Documentary Bobby Kennedy for President.
MM: I don’t think they were expecting me to say yes, cause I’ve said no for fifty years. For once it didn’t feel like torture to talk about it. I went back to the Ambassador Hotel, it’s a school now. I know Bobby would’ve loved that. I hadn’t spoken to Paul Schade in years! But best of all, I got to Meet Juan Romero, you know the bus boy. I gave him the biggest hug and we just cried.
NPR: You included a lot of photographs in the book, including one of you and Lenny on the night of Robert F. Kennedy’s assassination. For those listening, it’s a blurred image of Lenny Bruce sitting on the floor with an injured Midge. Why did you choose to put it in the book?
MM: It’s showing a horrible moment, one of the worst in my life, but when I look at it all I see is love. The love Lenny and I had for each other.
THE END <3
Notes:
Midge would definitely get in a fight with trumpy on twitter. What would her handle be?
I know Lenny relapsing is controversial, but I wanted to show even if worse comes to worse, he and Midge can get through anything.
Trudy Beekman is a real character on Archer but never appears. I think old lady Midge could have voiced a perfect rival to Jessica Walters' Malory Archer.
I think sometimes about granting people the happy endings they never got in life in fiction. Because this is MY story, I decided to give one to David Kennedy (1955-1984). David was one of Robert and Ethel's sons, he died young of an overdose. He was very close to his dad and never got the help he needed after his death. He was also devoted to his Aunt Rosemary (the daughter who was lobotomized by shitty old Joe) He appears in the previous chapter as the boy Lenny talks to. I'd like to think that in this universe, Midge and Lenny took an interest in him and gave him the attention he needed.
And yes, I just dropped Midge into Bobby Kennedy for President. If you are curious about the real events depicted here, I strongly suggest watching it.