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An Affirming Journal, by EDWARD “BLACKBEARD” TEACH, Currently Aboard the REVENGE in the Year of Our Lord 1717, Having Commandeered Her from STEDE BONNET, Gentleman Pyrate

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** An Affirming Journal, by EDWARD “BLACKBEARD” TEACH, Currently Aboard the REVENGE in the Year of Our Lord 1717, Having Commandeered Her from STEDE BONNET, Gentleman Pyrate Last Heard of in Barbados the Duplicitous, Conniving Bastard

21 Amazing JOURNALLE PROMPTS to Discover Thine Authentick Selfe

// What a delightful idea! My Authentick Selfe! Goodness! Or should that be Mine Authentick Selfe?

1. Write Five AFFIRMATIONS that represent how You would moste like to See Yourselfe.

// Mine Authentic Selfe's first Authentick Affirmations! How thrilling! I wonder whether the Crewe will be open to a daily Affirmation? Something to discuss with Lucius.

// 1. I am a Fearsome, Talented Pyrate.
// 2. I am very good at this Pirating thing, and it was a Good Decision to go into it.
// 3. I have the Respeckt and Admiration of my Crewe.
// 4. I have a lot to Offere the World, including but not limited to my Compassionate Leadershippe Skills.
// 5. Ed likes me, probably.

** Blackbeard's affirmations, as dictated to the ghost of Lucius whatever your last name was:

** ONE: I'm better off without that fucker.
** TWO: I'm fucking Blackbeard, I don't need affirmations, I bite people's ears off and shit. How's that for an affirmation? AffEARmation. Hah.

*** He's crying again. Also, just for the record, I'm almost certain I'm not a ghost.

** THREE: I ACTUALLY AM a fearsome, talented pirate, unlike SOME people who cut and run at the first sign of trouble.
** FOUR: I have the fear of my crew, which is better than respect and admiration, fuck you.
** FIVE: I made Izzy eat his own toe. Is that an affirmation? Felt pretty fucking affirming at the time.

2. If You could Accomplishe one Thing in Your Life what would it Be?

// I thinke…I thinke I may have already Accomplish’d this? Certainly leaving Mary and the children, and setting saile for the Adventures of the Sea was Terrifying Beyond Beliefe, and yet I find Myselfe more Content than I have ever been before. I shalle be the Gentleman Pyrate with his Fine Crewe, and shalle bring my Own Brande of Gallentry to the High Seas! All we need to do to become True Pyrates is to capture our first Prize!

** Blackbeard’s greatest accomplishment was feeding a man all three of his nipples before seizing enough gold to buy every cannon in Barbados twice over. Fucking incredible weekend that. Anyway, that’s what piracy’s like, not fucking prancing around in fucking silk like a fucking gentleman, fuck me. Stede you fucking idiot.

*** He’s now saying something about how Stede was fucking naive and it got him captured by the British. I can’t actually write anything down because it’s literally just drunken sobbing mumbling. He’s slumped face first onto the table. You know, when Aunty Katherine taught me to write, she thought it would be so I could get a nice steady job as a clerk, not whatever the fuck this is.

3. What kind of Musick makes You feele Moste Yourselfe?

// I thinke there is something very Elegant about a Gavotte.

** What’s a Gavotte? *** I am explaining to Blackbeard that I, Lucius Spriggs, am singularly ill-equipped to answer questions about music. Sail the Seven Seas, they said. Make out with Sexy Pyrates, they said. Loot Untold Riches beyond Your Wildest Imaginings, they said. And yet here I am, explaining to the Feared Pyrate Blackbeard, Scourge of the West Indies, that I don’t know what music his boyfriend is into. I wish Stede was here. He obviously knows what a gavotte is.

** Well I don’t care what it is anyway.

4. What do You MOSTE LOVE about Yourselfe?

// Love is a bit stronge, is it not? Do people really Love Themselves? I barely even Li- No. This is an Affirming Journalling Journey To Find Mine Authentick Selfe, and I DO like Myselfe. Sometimes. I Like Myselfe when Ed is gazing upon Me. I know he Sees Me as clearly as anyone mighte - more so, really - but in his Gaze, I feel like there is Something in Me worth gazing upon. Does that make Sense? Probably not.

** Blackbeard loves everything about himself, obviously. Some of Blackbeard's finest features are his magnificent beard, his gleaming, penetrating eyes, and did Stede like my eyes? He said he did, but then he left me, so obviously he didn't, which is stupid, because I've got great eyes. The best.

*** He made me look into his eyes for six minutes. Six minutes. I wish Fang had just left me to drown. Unless he did and this is Hell, which would explain a lot.

5. If You were BLESSED with a SUPERPOWER, what would it Be and Why?

// I have always thought of Kindness as a sort of Superpower, I suppose. Yes. Kindness, or the Ability to Talke to Rattes. You never see a sad Ratte, do You? I'm sure they are full of all sortes of Jolly Secretes. Or Battes! Battes are like Rattes only upside down, which is even better.

** Blackbeard doesn't need a superpower. Blackbeard is his own superpower. Blackbeard is- *** Oh, and he's crying again. I think he said something about, no, oh god, he's climbing on the table and jumping off it. While crying.

** Blackbeard doesn't need a superpower. Blackbeard is his own superpower. Blackbeard is better than a stupid bat, what do they have that he doesn't? Nothing. He could fly if he wanted to, he just doesn't want to, because he's Blackbeard.

*** Oh thank god, he's fallen asleep on his "wings".

6. Write about Something You have TRULY LOVED and how it Affectede You.

// I always thought that I loved Mary. Mary and Alma and Louis. I thought very Highly of them, and I would never want to cause them Pain or Distresse. But it was so Terribly Difficulte living with them. I could not help but feele that there was a DIFFERENT LIFE awaiting me, one that was almost but not quite within my grasp.

** Soft bastard. Well he got that I suppose. He’s probably fucking dead by now, fucking idiot. Fuck, Lucius, what if he’s dead?

*** He’s crying again. You know, I never thought I’d be nursing Blackbeard through a fucking breakup and yet HERE WE ARE LUCIUS HERE WE FUCKING ARE

7. What Principle(s) do You Live by and Why?

// To Thine Own Selfe Be True!, as the BARD would have it! The Affirming Journale says that one muste be Ruthlessly Honest with one’s selfe to gain the Benefits of Journalling. So I suppose I muste be Honest with Myselfe here and say that I do not thinke I am very good at pyrating, not really.

** Got that right. Fuck’s sake, Stede.

8. When You were a Childe what did You Want to Be when You Grewe up?

// I wanted to be Brave.

** Is that it? Is that all he wrote?

9. What Feelings do You moste want to Experience? Choose One and write about a Time You Intensely EXPERIENCED it.

// Does it have to be a Feeling that I have already Experienced? I suppose the latter sentence does rather Imply it. These laste couple of Weekes with Ed have been- Well, that's not a Feeling, is it? More of a Series of Interconnected Experiences and Emotions all building on eache other like some Stupendously Unlikely House of Cardes. Which is not the Question at hande Stede. Focus.

// I am afraid I Lacke a Name for it, which is rather Unfortunate given that the whole point of this Affirming Journalling Journey is to put things into Words, but I think perhaps it is the Feeling I had when Ed and I shared our first Breakfast, after the Curious Incident of the Lighthouse. A Feeling Of Possibility Unspooling. Of Hope. Of a New Chapter Beginning, the Pages as yet unwritten, the Pen held jointly in our Handes.

** Blackbeard has no feelings. He reached into his own chest, dug those fuckers out, and fed them to the sea.

*** He's taken off his vest and is showing me where he gouged his own feelings out. I hate this.

** But if I did have feelings, which I don't, are you writing this down, Ghost Lucius? If I did have feelings then the best feeling I ever felt was when Stede left like the fucking coward he is and I didn't have that dead weight dragging me down any more. I was free. I am free.

10. Liste Five Traites that are Important to You in a Friendshippe or Relationshippe.

// 1. They should like me. I think that is important. One's Friend - or one's More Than A Friend - should want to spende Time with one. I have always thought that. Perhaps that is why Mary and I neve- No. Focus, Stede! One muste not Dwell On Sadness, but muste Strive Forward!
// 2. I think in any Relationshippe - whether Friendshippe, or, well, Something Else - the relevant Parties should Complement one another.

** What, he wants someone to tell him he's pretty?

*** I have explained to Captain Blackbeard, Scourge of the West Indies, Dread Pyrate Feared By All, the difference between complimenting each other, saying nice things, and complementing each other, having different skills and traits that go well together. Captain Blackbeard, Scourge of the etc etc, has in turn explained to me that (a) he knew that, (b) it's stupid for words to sound the same, who thought of that, some poncy Frenchman probably, fuck that, (c) if I don't shut up he'll stab me in the face, and (d), most horrifying of all, that Stede is "so pretty, like a diamond, only better than a diamond, like a diamond you want to fuck". I can wash and wash, but I'll never be clean.

// 3. I suppose, though this mighte be Too Much to aske for, I would like a Friend or a Something Else to be Kind to me? Like Ed. Oh, he is moste Gruff about it, and truely I would not have it any other way, but he is a good Friend, always finding ways to Indulge my silly Whims and cover my many Failings. It is a moste Wondrous Thinge, to find someone in this Life whom you like so very muche and who seems, for whatever reason, to like you in return.
// 4. Five Traites are a lot, when you come to thinke about it. Even the Good Book stuck to four Gospels. I do not thinke there are five Traites that are important to Me. It seems rather limiting - what if someone comes along, someone Unexpected, and you are so Concern’d with your "five Traites" that you do not See what is right in Fronte of you.

** Blackbeard's five traits:

** ONE: Fucks like an otter in heat.
** TWO: Doesn't fucking leave you.
** THREE: SEXY. Underline that Lucius. Wears a lot of leather. No blouses. Blouses aren't sexy.
** FOUR: Deep voice. Really deep voice. No, deeper than that.
** FIVE: Fucking hell, Lucius, I don't mean Izzy, what the fuck, that's disgusting, I'd rather fuck you, and you're a ghost.

11. What do You Value moste in Life.

// Integrity. And Good Felloweshippe.

** AND BETRAYAL APPARENTLY

*** He specifically instructed that should all be in capital letters.

*** Yes I do KNOW all the capital letters I’m just doing my JOB, all right, there’s no need to be insulting, also knowing all the letters IS my job, for fuck’s sake

12. What have You been Tolde or Learned about Yourselfe that You know to be True?

// I am Softe and Lacking in Courage.

** No! You’re not!

13. What have You been Tolde or Learned about Yourselfe that You know to be Untrue?

// I am not weak.

** No. You’re not.

14. What do You feele you neede to Lette Go of in Your Life?

// I thinke one ought to Lette Go of the Past, oughtn’t one?

// I suppose the difficulty is when the Past won’t Lette Go of you.

// One.

// Lette Go of one.

*** It seems The Pyrate Blackbeard had no comment. He’s actually throwing his remaining plates at the wall one by one but he wanted me to write no comment.

15. If You could Change One Thinge about Your Life right now, what would it Be and Why?

// Well. It is Unexpectedly Difficulte to answere this Questione actually. You see, at one time whate I moste Wanted was to go To Sea. And now I have! So that’s jolly Good, is it not?

// It is just, there is Something Else I would desire to change, Something Else that I would like, perhaps, and I am not certain that I can quite putt my finger on What.

*** More plates. I’m just gonna go get a snack. And eat it out of my bare hands.

16. If You could tell Your Younger Selfe anything about Your present Selfe or Life what would it Be?

// "I'm a pyrate!" Or, "You're a pyrate!"

** Listen. One day, everyone will be afraid of you and you'll be afraid of nothing. You'll be the nightmare lurking in the dark, and no one will ever have power over you again. Ever.

*** He's staring out the window. At least he's not crying? I like this question, actually. I'd tell my younger self that yes, Gelf the stable boy is very sexy and alluring, but a cheeky midday handjob behind the smithy is not nearly as discreet as you think it is, and anyway Gelf has a girl back home called Margot. And then I'd tell my younger self that one day a very wealthy, very foolish man will offer you a lot of money to join his crew, and I don't care how desperate you are or how attractive the first mate is, say no, because otherwise before you know it Blackbeard himself will be yelling at you to write down five daily affirmations and then crying because the wealthy foolish man broke his, Blackbeard's, heart. And then, if he's not so young it's creepy, I'd give my younger self a frotting that'd leave him seeing stars.

17. What moste Inspires You?

// Gosh, this is such an interesting question! I do not thinke I have ever Contemplat’d this before. I suppose a few Yeares ago I would have said the Sea, and Shippes, and Sailing in Search of Adventure. My Dreams Paled in comparison to the Vigorous Reality so I am not sure whether they Inspire Me stille. Can a Person inspire oneselfe? If so, I thinke I would say that I am inspired by Courage and Boldnesse and a Sense of Individual Style and Delight in Novelty, and his Darke Terribly Kind Eyes. I, yes, I suppose I am Inspired by his Delight in the Everyday: in Marmalade, and Fine Stitching, and an Embroidered Dressing Gown and yes, even the secrete Passages that I had placed around this Shippe! I finde Myselfe reinvigorated and seeing the Worlde as if through Freshe Eyes, and I cannot helpe but to finde his appreciation startlingly Wonderful.

*** I told Jim and Oluwande to hide the remaining plates in their room. So on one hand he’s not smashing them, but on the other hand he’s just staring at some shelving and muttering about a secret room. Oh god, he’s crying again. How do I make this stop?

18. Describe Your perfecte Day.

// I firmly believe that no perfecte Day can start without a refreshing cup of Tea! Were I on Lande, I would desire a Picnick in the Parke - just a very Small one, and if the day were not too hot - and then attende the Theatre to be Transported to the Realms of Imagination. And then Home, such as it ever were a Home.

// And Now, on board the Revenge, I thinke my perfecte Daye would be, very simply, to be among my Friends, and especially to have my deare Friend Ed at My Side. Yes, I believe that that would please me well.

*** Ah fuck, he’s looking for something else to throw .

19. What is Your favourite Type of Selfe-Care? (Bonus Points… do it!)

// Selfe-Care is such a Personal thing. Lucius explained in some Detail that he considers his more Intimate Time with Black Pete to be vitally Important Selfe-Care, without which his Mental Health and Wellbeing would suffer Dire Consequences, and thus it shoulde count towards his working Duties on board the Shippe. I cannot say my Time with Mary was a Supportive factor in my overall Wellbeing, but I tooke his Request under advisement nonetheless.

// I do wonder what it woulde be like to have someone whose very Presence was Restorative. Where Intimacy, of whatever nature, was an act of Care.

// That is neither Here nor There, of course, because my favourite type of Selfe-Care is a nice cup of Tea and one of Roach's delicious Lavender Biscuits, which I shall gladly enjoy forthwith.

** I like cutting people's ears off? Does that count? And I liked- No. Just write down the ear thing. Fucking Stede Fucking Bonnet. Even ruined tea for me. Doesn't taste the same now.

20. What are You moste Proud of?

// That I tried.

*** And now he’s crying too much to go on. I don’t know who is even going to read this thing but, To Mine Reader If They Are Out There, know that I, Lucius Spriggs of the REVENGE, also tried.

21. Write about a Time you felt Profoundly at Peace or Filled with Joy.

^^ greatest pyrate of THE AGE and my fuckin SCRIBE thinks I CANT WRITE

^^ fuck him anyway

^^ you never wrote anything for this, Stede, not in your small pathetic old life and not when you and me were at sea together doin Fuckeries, but you will

^^ you will

^^ when you come back, and we sail out across the wild deep water, to seek new stars

Completing these JOURNALLE PROMPTS is a great place to Starte but SELFE-DISCOVERY is a Lifelonge Processe. Continue Your Work and Commitment to showing up as Your Moste Authentick Selfe by being Mindfulle and Attentive to Yourselfe.

You are Worthy!

You are Enoughe!

You are AMAZING!

^^ fuck you.