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The Huntsman, the Iceman and Dan the Man

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Dan heard Kimi shouting in the bedroom, and it didn’t sound like the good kind of shouting, so he got out of his very comfortable spot on the couch to see if someone was trying to murder his favorite Finn. It would be a shame to have to exchange him with Bottas.

“Kimi?” Dan asked when he noticed no intruders and no blood pouring out of any vital organs or non-vital organs for that matter. Long story short: No visible injuries.

“Spider.” Kimi answered, voice cracking in fear.

“Spider?” Dan replied, relieved now that he knew that Kimi wasn’t dying. Holding in his smirk the best he could, he walked further into the room so Kimi could hide behind him.

The look Kimi showed Dan could kill lesser men, but right now neither of them had the time to die, as Dan would have to go to the Press Conference and the Finnish lucky bastard had a scheduled naptime. Sometimes Dan wished his assistant was as conscious of his needs as Kimi’s was of his, because having naptimes in your schedule would be the best thing ever. Well not the best, best thing ever, but his assistant couldn’t schedule winning the Drivers Championship.

“Where?” Dan asked, now used to having to find spiders for Kimi, even if The Finn should know by now that usually they weren't dangerous and even those who were would leave you alone if you didn’t bother them.

“Bed,” Kimi replied, now firmly positioned behind the Australian, which usually would be a very pleasant activity, but sadly not at this moment, maybe they could find some time before the press conference. Finding time away from the press used to be easier when Seb was in Red Bull because then Kimi could just hang out at the garage and no one would bat an eye.

Dan walked to the bed, seeing a rather large spider, “Aww it is a tiny huntsman, it won’t kill you,” he told Kimi, who bravely was standing by the door, not even one foot out of it, okay maybe one, possibly two feet, but no more extremities were on the other side of the door. “Let me just find a cup or something to catch him with and I will let the little guy out,” Dan continued, still smiling. There was a glass left on the bedside table which he picked up along with a random magazine. Trapping the spider in the glass Dan put the magazine over it, it had a rather nice picture of Kimi on the cover, he made a mental note to get the picture framed and sent to Kimi’s mother at some point. Taking a moment to study the spider, which could comfortably fit in a child’s hand, or possibly Sebastian’s, definitely smaller than a normal adult’s palm.

“See now it is caught, want to see the little fella before I let him outside, mate?” he asked, walking towards the door and in extension the spot where Kimi was standing, who definitely wasn’t at all trying again to hide behind Dan, nope why would you think that?

“No,” Kimi stated, sliding his sunglasses back down over his eyes, probably calculating some kind of evil plan to get the Aussie to forget that this ever happened, or possibly just thinking of what he wanted for dinner. You’d never know.

Dan carried the spider out on the balcony to set him free. "It was nice meeting you George, go have a happy life," he said after letting the spider out of its’ glass and into a flowerpot.

“Kimi,” Dan said bouncing back into the room, smile ever present on his face. When Kimi turned around he kissed the older man, “spider all gone, let’s go race!”

“Not in the bed we won't!” Kimi stated.