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I'll Remember You

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Nudge-nudge.

“Susan?”

Another nudge.

"Oh, wake up!" said my internal self-hating conscience.

I slowly open my eyes. I immediately realize it's covered, so I can't see a damn thing. Reaching my hand in front of my face, I pulled a red hat off my face. I looked up to see a redhead with a large grin on her face.

“You look hilarious,” said Cherie.

“Thanks for the compliment,” I said. Looking at the red hat in my hand, there was something familiar about it. I noticed a whole bunch of colorful banners and lights in the room.

“Is today special ?” I asked.

Cherie rolled her eyes and said “Just a teensy-bit.”

“A birthday, or maybe the Lullia Festival of Thankfulness?” I said.

She stared at me blankly.

“Oh, I guess they only do the festival on the planet Lullia,” I said. I had always liked that planet. Meant to check up on them, and take--

“Susan?”

Wait? How'd she know? Was she telepathic?

Oh, wait. That was my cover name.

Cherie started laughing again, and said “ It's New Years, silly!”

I rolled off my bed, and looked around for my bottle of alcohol. I couldn't find any. Grumbling, I got up onto my feet.

“What's gonna be your resolution?” Cherie asked me.

Now that was an interesting question. I had never really thought about resolutions before—being a time traveler meant I didn't actually stay long enough to celebrate. Except in my UNIT days, but who's counting those? But seeing as I would be hiding from the Time Lords here on Earth for the foreseeable future, I should probably start adapting the customs. Or else I'd go insane.

"You're already insane", said my conscience. Sometimes I would really want to shut that voice up. But when your conscience is literally a past incarnation in your head, that's kinda hard. And plus, I'm sober enough to deal with him right now.

“I don't know,” I said truthfully to Cherie. “Pick one for me.”

“How about you promise to finally get with that nice banker who's been giving you sexy eyes for weeks now?” Cherie said.

Laughing, I said “I'll probably outlive him.” What I didn't say is “I'll outlive all of you. I walk in eternity, after all.”

I could feel my conscience rolling its eyes.

“Good!” said Cherie. “Then you can get his money, and split some with me!” She started poking me playfully. This particular incarnation was ticklish, and Cherie had been around me enough to take advantage.

“Stop poking me!” I said, giggling. “And stop trying to play matchmaker! You never pick guys around my age, and plus you're breaking the Bechdel test--”

“Who's Bechdel?” Cherie said, still poking. “Should I hook you up with her?”

I jumped across the room, having had enough of the assault of Cherie's fingers. Time Lord reflexes are handy at times.

“Stop jumping away from me!” said Cherie, throwing a pillow my way. I caught it.

For a second, we both were just laughing. Then, Cherie said “Whenever you go back to your Doctor job, you'll remember me, right?”

I was surprised by the conversation's serious turn. Humans, perhaps due to their short lives, could have such mood swings. I suspect that's part of what I love about them.

“Yes,” I said.

Inside, my last incarnation said "Just like you remember your family. Didn't you once tell that English girl—Vict...something.. that you pride yourself on being able to forget? Certain companions—like dear John and Gillian—no longer even seem to exist in your memory. Tell her the truth. You'll forget her."

“Yes, I'll remember you,” I lied.

Cherie smiled at that, and I felt like someone ripped a hole in my hearts. I suddenly needed another drink. I walked to the kitchen, and looked in the fridge for anything to drink. Even the weak stuff would do.