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r/AmItheAsshole • Posted by u/austen_lover97 13 hours ago

AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend?

I (21M) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for three months. We met this fall through the GSA at our university (my boyfriend is a sophomore and I’m a senior). We go on dates about once a week, sometimes more often, but we each have a lot on our plates (my boyfriend is on a university sports team and I have an internship at a literary magazine) which means we haven’t really been joined at the hip even during our honeymoon phase. I also didn’t know him very well when I first asked him out, so you could say we’ve been taking things slow.

I’ve lived with my current roommate (20M) for three semesters. We share a dorm room, which means I don’t have much privacy there. I often suggest to my boyfriend that we should meet up elsewhere on campus, specifically so he and I can be alone together.

My roommate is, quite frankly, a mild nuisance on a good day and an absolute menace on a bad one; he’s impressively incapable of keeping even a semblance of tidiness on his side of the room, he’s stupendously prone to going on extensive rants about whatever social injustice they’ve covered in his latest poli-sci module (I’m fairly certain I know more about Gerrymandering than good ol’ Elbridge Gerry ever did himself), and I don’t think he’d know a normal sleep schedule if it hit him in the face with a prescription of melatonin. He’s really quite ambitious, which is reflected in the amount of hours he spends at his desk. Much like him, I often study in our room, and I spend some of my free time reading and writing poetry. This means we frequently spend time together in our shared space. At first this caused some friction between us, but after we set some ground rules we’ve achieved a fragile equilibrium which I’m very keen to preserve.

Those ground rules include: every time he makes himself another instant coffee, he must pick up three (3) items of clutter on his side of the room; if I’m having a difficult and stressful day I need to let him know (required) and if I’m feeling up to it I should also tell him what’s wrong (optional) so he knows I’m not acting distant because of something he did and also so he can make me tea and give me some space; most importantly, we’ve established a Roommate Curry Social every Friday night, which essentially means he and I have dinner together at an Indian restaurant off campus and then head back to our dorm to watch a film. During dinner, he gets to spend ten (10) minutes ranting about a topic of his choice, after which I’m required to ask a minimum of three (3) follow-up questions. The film is my choice, and we’ve been working our way through every Jane Austen adaptation in my collection. I must say he’s been enjoying the sharp, Austenesque wit rather more than I’d thought.

This year, Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday. I mentioned this to my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. My boyfriend said he’d probably be out of town that day, but he’d let me know if that changed. I said okay, and we made plans to go see a movie on the Saturday the day after Valentine’s instead.

Once Valentine’s Day came (yesterday), me and my boyfriend exchanged a few, flirty texts throughout the day, and in the evening I went with my roommate for curry as usual. Just after we’d ordered, my boyfriend rang and asked me where I was. I told him, and he immediately sounded pissed off. He said he was outside my room and had planned to surprise me. I told him he’d said he’d be out of town, but he said he’d only told me that because he’d wanted to plan a surprise date, and it wouldn’t have been a surprise if I knew about it. I reminded him that I always get curry with my roommate on Fridays, but he said he couldn’t believe I’d go out for dinner with anyone who wasn’t my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. He’d fully expected me to be home.

I got a bit pissed and told him he had no right to make an assumption like that. This made him angrier, and he started accusing me of always spending all my time with my roommate. He said I always talk about nothing but my roommate, and that he barely even knows what I do at my internship but knows exactly what shade of purple my roommate’s tie was for his class presentation on civic engagement, and that he couldn’t believe I wasn't already on my way to come and meet him since he'd just told me he had planned a surprise and was waiting for me. He also questioned why I never invite him to hang out in my room, and outright asked whether something is going on between me and my roommate that he ought to know about.

At this point our curry was just arriving. I didn’t want to blow off my roommate at the last minute and I was upset and angry that my boyfriend seemed to think I was cheating, so I told my boyfriend we'd talk about it tomorrow, ended the call and stayed for dinner with my roommate.

I’ve exchanged a few stilted texts with my boyfriend this morning. It's clear he wants me to apologise for ditching him last night, but I don’t think I should have to since he and I never made plans. He also doesn't seem to believe nothing is going on between me and my roommate, but that is genuinely the case. My roommate is admittedly very attractive, but he’s about as straight as they come and I've never felt any of his interactions with me have indicated any interest. I suppose I do talk about him a fair amount — at first to complain about him and later to reflect on how strange it was to not complain about him — but he is a part of my daily life and it would've felt very strange to avoid all mentions of my roommate to my boyfriend. My roommate has also dated other people while we've lived together, although it's been a while since the last time he went out with anyone, as far as I know.

So, am I the asshole for refusing to abandon my roommate to spend Valentine’s with my boyfriend, who’d apparently assumed I’d be available?

2.2k Comments

Alex has been staring at the post for over thirty minutes.

It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered that his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral.

Two thousand two hundred comments. Sixteen thousand upvotes. Jesus fuck.

Alex hadn’t even been a paragraph in when he’d paused to frown at his screen. The writer had an internship at a literary magazine and the boyfriend played some type of college sport — that sounded fucking familiar, but it was hardly unique. Just because Henry interned at Beltway Poetry Quarterly and Darren was on the Georgetown swim team, it didn’t have to mean Henry wrote that post. Right?

Except then Alex read the words ‘a mild nuisance on a good day and an absolute menace on a bad one’ and promptly dropped his phone on his face. If Alex had gotten a penny every time Henry called him a ‘menace’, he’d have paid off his college debt by now.

In the beginning, Henry had called Alex that with a certain disdain, sort of like he’d actually meant it. And he probably had. There had, as Henry had so eloquently put it for the amusement of thousands of Redditors, been ‘some friction’ between them initially. But after they’d each made an effort to understand each other better, Alex had been surprised to find that Henry was nothing like the posh dickhead Alex had thought him to be. Henry had seemed equally surprised to realize that Alex wasn’t some insensitive jerk, which had honestly hurt a bit, but nevertheless they had moved forward from their rocky beginnings and fallen into a functioning, even pleasant routine. After one year of rooming together, Alex couldn’t even have imagined asking for a different roommate for his junior year. So he hadn’t.

Apparently, Henry was equally disinclined to break up their roommate arrangement; Alex had picked up on some level of tension when Henry had gotten that call from his boyfriend Friday night, but he’d had no idea it was this fucking bad. Fuck. Who the fuck did Darren think he was? And what the fuck was he on about, accusing Henry of cheating? Henry would never do that, not in a million years, and he definitely wouldn’t do it with Alex, specifically, seeing as Alex was fucking straight.

Y’know. Mostly.

Alex pushed that thought aside and opened up the comment section, quickly scrolling through the most upvoted responses to Henry’s post. The judgment was practically unanimous, which made Alex grin with satisfaction; Henry was not the asshole. Praise the good people of Reddit. But… Alex stopped to skim a few of the comments more thoroughly, his grin slowly fading. Oh. Oh, shit.

itsametaphor · 3 hr. Ago
You’re NTA. What the fuck did your boyfriend expect, that you’d tell your roommate ‘today is Valentine’s so we can’t enter a restaurant together because I’m dating someone else, but it’s totally fine for us to chill at home because then we’re not technically hanging out’? That’s fucking dumb. That being said, you should reflect on why your post turned into a whole essay about your relationship with your roommate while your boyfriend barely got a single paragraph. It doesn’t sound like you’re cheating on your boyfriend, but have you thought about what it is you want out of these two relationships? Especially out of your relationship with your roommate?

show_me_what_ur_working_wth · 5 hr. Ago
NTA. Heads up, though: you wanna fuck your roommate. You wanna fuck him so badly it makes you look stupid.

ASportingCh4nce · 2 hr. Ago
So you’re not the asshole, but I’m not getting a good vibe here. Why do you barely have time to see your boyfriend once a week, but seemingly endless amounts of time to devote to your whole thing with your roommate? It doesn’t sound like you’re keen to make your boyfriend a high priority. Why are you dating that guy? Do you even know?

7MinutesInHeaven · 4 hr. Ago
NTA. But more importantly, if your conclusions after your roommate agreed to hang with you every Friday night to watch costume dramas were 1) He Must Be Straight and 2) He Can’t Be Interested In Me, I don’t know what the fuck to tell you.

piss-up_in_a_brewery · 6 hr. Ago
Are you for real? Dump the boyfriend, shag the roommate. There. Fixed it.

Fuck. Fuck fucking fuck.

Alex glances across the room to where Henry’s snoring softly in his bed. Henry had been a little quiet earlier that day, but he’d left in the evening for his movie date with Darren just as planned. He’d been back around the time when Alex had expected him to, and had gone to bed not long after. And Henry had definitely seemed… normal? Sleepy? He had not given Alex any reason to think he’d spent the day reading Reddit comments from a couple thousand strangers who all seemed to agree Alex and Henry should fuck.

Alex rolls out of bed as quietly as he can. He pulls on a pair of jeans and a sweater, wincing when his keys jingle in his pocket, but Henry seems to keep sleeping soundly. Still, Alex barely dares to breathe before he’s made it outside.

He sets off across campus, walking briskly with his hands shoved in his pockets. It doesn’t take him long to reach his intended destination. He slips into Copley Hall along with a group of mildly drunk sophomores, once again immensely grateful that Copley is co-ed. This means he doesn’t get any weird looks from the residents as he navigates the familiar route to Nora’s room.

It’s not until he’s already knocked that he realizes he should maybe have given her a heads-up. And, fuck, that’s definitely a muffled conversation coming from inside — Nora isn’t alone. If Alex posted about this on fucking Reddit, he’s not entirely sure they wouldn’t declare him the asshole.

It’s a little while before the door opens. Nora peers out through the sliver of space she’s created, her eyes widening at the sight of him. “Alex, hey. What’s up?”

“This is a bad time, isn’t it? Fuck. Sorry.” Alex runs a hand through his hair. “I just… I’ll go. Maybe Liam’s awake.”

“Don’t be a fucking dumbass,” Nora says maturely. “Pez is in town, remember? Liam’s definitely busy.”

Fuck. “Right. Didn’t think about that. But it’s totally chill, I’ll just—”

“Can't you talk to Henry?”

“No,” Alex says, more forcefully he means to. “I can’t. Not about this.”

“Oh,” Nora says. She sounds way less surprised than she should. “Alright. Look, you can come in, but can you just not be weird about this?”

Alex frowns at her. “About what?”

“Oh, for god’s sake!” June calls from inside. June. Wait a fucking minute. “Let him in. What’s this about Henry? I wanna know!”

Nora rolls her eyes and pulls the door fully open, and… yeah. There’s June, perching on the edge of the bed in Nora’s silk bathrobe. Right. Definitely nothing to see here.

“You gonna come in, or what?” Nora asks sharply.

“Sure. Thanks.” Alex steps carefully across the threshold. “Hi, June.”

June waves at him.

“Don’t be weird,” Nora repeats. She curls up next to June on the bed, slipping her hand into June’s like it’s second-nature. Alex is gonna have to process all of that sometime that isn’t right this fucking second. “So what’s going on with you and Henry? Spill.”

Alex sinks down into Nora’s desk chair. “Fuck, it’s complicated.”

“Did y’all have a fight?”

“No, but I think he might be having one with Darren.” That makes June and Nora exchange pointed glances, which is fucking weird, but whatever. “Can I just show you? Let me drop the link in the chat.”

“The link?” Nora says, frowning. “To what?”

“Reddit.” Alex digs his phone out of his pocket and sends them the post. “Read this, and then tell me what the fuck I should do.”

By the time June and Nora have gotten through the post, June is covering her mouth with her hand and Nora is grinning a wild, gleeful, entirely too satisfied grin.

“Well?” Alex prompts restlessly. “What do you think?”

“So, first of all, Henry’s in love with you,” Nora says immediately. She looks like she’d been bursting to get that out. “Which, we knew that, but it’s nice to have such indisputable proof.”

“He’s what?” Alex asks incredulously. “Come on, no, Henry’s dating Darren. He likes Darren—”

“Sure he does,” Nora snorts. “Henry likes Darren the same way people like butter and cheese — it’s fine, but it’s not like it’s Nutella, y’know?”

“What?” Alex says flatly. He’s not entirely sure he means it as a question. “What’s food got to do with… look, there’s no way Henry’s into me that way.”

“No, no, he definitely is,” June chimes in. She’s still got her eyes glued to her phone. “And I’d say he’s got it pretty bad. Do you know if he’s talked to Darren since he wrote this?”

“Yeah, they went out on a fucking date,” Alex informs her irritably. “Tonight. And Henry seemed totally chill when he got back, so they’re doing just great.”

“So Henry came back alone?” June asks quickly.

“Well, yeah.”

“He didn’t spend the night with Darren, then,” Nora points out smugly. “Gee, I wonder why.”

“That’s not even… there’s just no way Henry’s interested in me.” Alex forces himself to unclench his hands in his lap. “He said it himself in his post! He said it’s not like that between us.”

“Actually,” June says slowly, “Henry only said he didn’t think you’re interested in him. Did you notice that? He didn’t actually clarify whether he has any interest in you.”

Alex shoots her a look and tries to think of a retort, but… well, he’s not sure what to hit her with, because he’s not completely sure she’s wrong. What was it Henry wrote, again? Alex unlocks his phone, quickly skimming through Henry’s post once more.

My roommate is admittedly very attractive, but he’s about as straight as they come and I've never felt any of his interactions with me have indicated any interest.

Oh.

“Fuck. Fuck fucking fuck—”

“Now he gets it,” Nora says. She sounds weirdly fond. “You okay, Alejandro?”

“No,” Alex says. “No. What the fuck do I do now?”

“That’s simple, isn’t it?” Nora winks at him. “You tell Henry. You get him to dump Darren. Then you have questionable amounts of sex.”

Alex stares incredulously at her. “I tell Henry what?”

“Oh, sorry, thought you were there already,” Nora says, grinning widely. “You totally want Henry, though, right? There’s no way in hell you don’t.”

Alex huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “Nora, I’m straight. Remember how I’m fucking straight?”

“Are you, though? Are you, like, sure? Have you given it your best shot?”

“I think that’s probably offensive—”

“Alex,” June interjects gently. “Remember that kid in seventh grade, William? He always scored just above you on your weekly math quizzes. You would talk about him for days.”

“Well, yeah,” Alex huffs. “I’m competitive — y’all know I'm competitive. And Will was fucking obnoxious.”

“Alright,” June says cooly. She raises an eyebrow. “What about Zach?”

It takes Alex a second before he puts a face to the name. His stomach does not do a little swoop once he connects the dots. “You mean that guy I hung out with at summer camp? What about him?”

“Oh, this game is fun,” Nora says gleefully. “Let me do one — Hugh, your freshman year. You two fucking lived in the library when y’all did that project on civic engagement.”

“It was a seriously big project—”

“Not that big,” June says dismissively. “And what about that barista who used to work the morning shift at Midnight, Devin? It was after he quit that you overslept all those eight a.m. classes.”

“He made good fucking coffee! And his name was Dean, not Devin."

“Ha,” Nora says smugly.

Alex fixes her with a look. “Hey. Just because I’ve been acquainted with a bunch of guys who happened to be attractive—”

“So you did, in fact, find them all attractive?” June interjects curiously. “Just checking.”

Alex glares at her instead. “I have eyes, June. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You also have a dick,” Nora points out cheerfully. “Maybe you should try thinking with it, occasionally. In particular where Henry is concerned.”

“I’m sure Henry’s boyfriend would find that fucking hilarious,” Alex says tersely. He’s not sure for how long he’ll be able to ignore the fact that every single guy June and Nora listed brought back that decidedly swooping feeling in his stomach. It’s not made any easier when he lets himself think about Henry in that context for all of three seconds, and promptly has to fight the urge to scream. That’s probably a completely heterosexual feeling; just bros having bro-related woes. “Does it even matter if I like Henry, though? He’s unavailable.”

“We’ve been over this,” Nora says impatiently. “Henry fucking loves you—”

“Nora,” June interjects sternly. This makes Nora fall silent, which is a goddamn miracle; there are very few things in the universe that have that effect, but apparently June has made the list. Interesting. “Alex, listen. Would it really be so bad if you were interested in Henry? He’s a wonderful person, thoughtful and compassionate, and your whole relationship with him is clearly based on mutual respect. I’ve always thought Henry is really good for you. And while I can’t promise he’d break up with Darren for you, I do know Henry has never once looked at Darren the way he looks at you.”

Alex shifts restlessly in his seat. “How does Henry look at me?”

“Very fondly,” June says, smiling. “You really haven’t noticed?”

“No.”

“God, you’re impossible,” Nora snaps. As usual, her limit for shutting up is somewhere around thirty seconds. Some things never change. “Can we talk about how you’re wearing Henry’s fucking sweater right now? Can we talk about how this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you wear it?”

“It’s comfy,” Alex says defensively. He tugs self-consciously at the hem of the sweater — Henry’s sweater, the impossibly soft one with green and blue stripes. “I was in a hurry, alright? I just grabbed the first sweater I could find.”

“No way,” Nora says flatly. “Henry folds his fucking clothes. Was the first sweater you could find really on Henry’s chair, all the way on his side of the room?”

Alex rolls his eyes at her, but he doesn’t say anything. He had, in fact, retrieved the sweater from Henry’s chair. But so what? It’s a seriously nice sweater, probably merino or something, and Alex had been feeling a weird fucking combo of molten and crumbly on the inside, sort of like pie with the crust cracked and sweet strawberry jam oozing out uncontrollably. The sweater had helped, because it’s a soft, comfy sweater. Never mind who it reminds Alex of.

Nora is watching him like she’s expecting some sort of answer, which is dumb seeing as Alex doesn’t have one. “I don’t know, okay? I really don’t know.”

“Oh, Alex,” June says. Her voice comes out impossibly soft. “You know what? I think you do know. You’re just afraid of what it all means.”

Alex stubbornly refuses to meet her eyes. Instead he runs a hand through his hair, trying to regain his bearings. It’s gotta be well past two a.m. already. He’s so fucking tired. “I’m keeping y’all awake. I should just go.”

“You wanna crash on Nora’s couch?” June offers generously — except then Nora turns to give her a look, prompting June to amend her offer. “Just be aware, we'll have to kick you out fairly early tomorrow. Busy day."

“Very busy,” Nora fills in, grinning.

“I did not need to know that,” Alex informs them curtly. Still, he’s relieved they’ve let him get away with a subject change. And actually, this whole thing between June and Nora is surprisingly sweet. Alex takes a second to just watch the two of them, the way they’re tucked into each other’s sides. They look cozy. “Can I just say I’m happy for y’all? Or are we not talking about this?”

“We’re not,” June says firmly. “But thanks.”

Alex gets up and shuffles over to the couch, settling down on it and curling up under one of Nora’s fleece blankets. He’d definitely be more comfortable if he just trekked back across campus to his own bed, but right now this is exactly what he needs; to close his eyes and drift off to the sounds of June and Nora’s soft whispers across the room. They’ve always been a core part of Alex’s support system, even after he and Nora broke up.

He wakes up so early the next morning that June and Nora never actually get the chance to kick him out. Instead, Alex slips out of Nora’s room unnoticed and takes a long walk around campus. It’s too damn early for Midnight Mug to have opened. Not that Alex ever goes there since Dean quit, but he could’ve killed for a double espresso right about now. He’s gonna have to make do with an instant coffee instead, and then he’ll of course have to clear away three items of clutter on his side of the room as per his agreement with Henry. Henry always looks so fucking pleased when Alex does that; it makes Henry’s mouth curl into a soft little smile, and he gets this warm look in his eyes that’s actually so—

Fuck.

Alex makes his way to the student kitchens and chugs down a glass of water, before he sets about making himself an instant coffee. He toys with the idea of brewing a cup of tea for Henry, but ultimately decides against it; it’s unlikely Henry will be awake just yet.

But as unlikely as it is, Henry is very much awake when Alex gets back to their shared room. And Henry isn’t alone.

“Alex. There you are.” Henry rises to his feet, and there’s something strangely like relief flitting over his expression as he strides towards Alex. “Where have you been?”

“Around,” Alex says slowly. He sips his instant coffee and lets his gaze slide over to Henry’s desk chair, where Darren sits perched with his arms crossed. Weird. “Morning, y’all.”

“Henry,” Darren says. Alex immediately hates the way he says it; there’s a mixture of demand and disbelief in Darren’s tone, like he can’t believe Henry is daring to direct any of his attention towards Alex. “We were having a conversation.”

“I think we were just finished,” Henry says airily. He reaches out to touch Alex’s arm only to pull back just as quickly, like he can’t quite make up his mind. “You should go. Not you, Alex. I need to talk to you. Where did you… is that my sweater?”

Oh, fuck. “Uh. No?”

Henry’s eyes flicker down to Alex’s chest and then back up again. “Alex, that is my sweater. That is definitely my sweater.”

“What the fuck?” Darren exclaims incredulously. “Are you sharing clothes with him now? Also, you and I weren’t finished. Tell your roommate to leave.”

Henry huffs out a breath and tears his eyes away from Alex, seemingly reluctantly. “We were most certainly finished, Darren. I don’t have anything more to say to you. You’re the one who should leave.”

“So that’s it?” Darren questions hotly. “You’re fucking dumping me for him?”

Alex flinches, which unfortunately means he spills coffee all over his shoes. “Sorry, what?”

Henry ignores him in favor of fixing Darren with a firm look. “No one is dumping anyone today, seeing as I broke up with you last night. I can hardly break up with you twice.”

“You did what?” Alex questions incredulously. He’s not sure how the hell he’s supposed to keep up with this. There’s a weird feeling in his stomach that definitely wasn’t there a moment ago, something hot and urgent and yearning. Henry broke up with Darren. Henry is fucking single. “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything, last night?”

“Alex, do shut up,” Henry says under his breath. “Darren, just go. We’re over. No amount of conversation will change that.”

Darren gets to his feet, which seems promising, but unfortunately he makes no move to actually get out. Instead he kicks angrily at the floor. “Can you at least just tell me the fucking truth?”

Henry lets out a frustrated sigh. “Darren—“

“You’ve been sleeping with him,” Darren spits out. He makes a redundant gesture towards Alex. “This whole time, huh? And now you’re lying to my face about it!”

Henry is looking everywhere but at Alex when he answers. “I have not been having sex with my roommate, no,” he says tersely. “Although you are, quite frankly, making me wish I had.”

“... You could’ve.”

Henry whips his head around to stare at Alex. “Come again?”

“Um,” Alex says. He did not think that through. To be fair, he has only actively considered all this shit for less than twelve hours and he’s not even halfway through his first coffee of the day; he should be fucking excused. “You could’ve? I mean, we could have. Had the sex. Fuck, is this a bad time?”

Somewhere across the room, Darren is half-yelling something along the lines of ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ He might as well have been on a different planet as far as Alex is concerned.

“This is a terrible time,” Henry says plainly. He’s back to touching Alex’s arm, just a light press of his fingers by Alex’s elbow, and yeah, that’s… neat. The touching. Ten out of ten, even through the layer of merino. “It’s quite possibly the worst timing imaginable, but by all means, go on. Elaborate.”

“Um,” Alex says again. Fuck. He doesn’t have the right words for this yet. “I dunno. You’re hot? And like, insufferably clever and inexcusably funny, and fucking tall, and it turns out I’ve maybe wanted to fuck you for a while? Possibly this whole time.”

“I see,” Henry says stiffly. He watches Alex intently for a moment, before his grip on Alex’s elbow tightens significantly. “Let me ask you something, Alex. All those times when you got back from the showers and seemed to think it was perfectly fine to prance about in nothing but a bloody towel for several excruciating hours — are you saying we could’ve had sex then?”

“I… yeah?” Alex says unsurely. It’s not the sex part that makes him hesitate. “Definitely. But why didn’t you tell me my towel habits bother you?”

“They don’t bother me,” Henry says, his expression somewhere right in between pained and disbelieving. “Next question: when we watched 'Sense and Sensibility', and you fell asleep on my shoulder around when Marianne learned the truth about Willoughby, could we have had sex then?”

“Well, no, seeing as I was dead to the world—”

“Let’s presume,” Henry says drily, “that I’d have woken you up.”

“Then, yes,” Alex confirms. He’s not sure if the answer should've come to him so easily. “You let me sleep, though.”

“Which I now regret deeply,” Henry informs him, without a single trace of irony. “Last one. When we both moved in, and you knocked over my perfectly sorted stack of books in your eagerness to offer me a bloody handshake, could we have had sex then?”

Alex remembers that day as if it was yesterday. He’d been so excited to move into a dorm closer to Nora in Copley Hall, and he'd been determined to be friendly with his new roommate, whoever he may be. But he hadn’t been prepared for it to be someone like Henry; devastating humor, legs for days and those impossibly blue eyes. Alex had barely made it past ‘hello’ before he’d put his foot in his mouth. It had taken him more than a month to grow used to the fluttering in his chest whenever Henry looked at him, and even longer to slowly establish some sort of friendship with this unbelievably gorgeous man.

Presently, Alez swallows. “Yeah,” he admits shakily. “Fuck. I wanted you so badly.”

He'd almost forgotten how carefully he’d had to compartmentalize those feelings in order to convince himself his frustration with Henry wasn’t of a sexual nature.

Henry’s hold on Alex’s elbow has slowly shifted into more of a pull. “You’re insufferable,” he informs Alex firmly, except there’s a fervent undertone in his voice that Alex wants to fucking taste. “Why the hell did it have to be you?”

“Gotta be my looks, right?” Alex suggests cheerfully. He shifts unsubtly into Henry’s space, accidentally sloshing more instant coffee all over his shoes. He doesn’t fucking care at this point; the coffee’s gone lukewarm anyway. “Can’t well be my glowing personality.”

“You're an absolute menace,” Henry says seriously.

Then he hauls Alex in by the waist and kisses him.

It’s, fuck, it’s everything. Henry tangles his fingers in Alex’s hair and tugs, angling Alex’s head to the side and slotting their mouths together perfectly, and Alex barely succeeds at not dropping his dumb mug. Somehow, he manages to keep his grip on it and simultaneously let Henry back him into the nearest wall. Henry slowly slides his hand down from Alex’s back to his ass, pushing into the back pocket of Alex’s jeans and squeezing experimentally, and Alex is immensely grateful Henry’s got him pinned to the wall; he’s fairly certain he wouldn’t have been able to remain upright otherwise.

“Fuck.”

“You like that,” Henry observes, mouth against Alex’s throat. He squeezes Alex’s ass again, his other hand gripping Alex’s hair more tightly, and Alex shuts his eyes and makes a terribly undignified noise low in his throat. “I see.”

“Fuck,” Alex repeats nonsensically. He’s pretty sure he’s gonna die if he doesn’t get Henry naked right this second. “Fuck, please—”

“Gladly,” Henry says, voice tight.

He backs away, pulling Alex right along with him, and Alex finally registers that Darren must have made himself scarce at some point — good fucking call on his part. Alex is genuinely unsure of whether Darren left before or after Henry started kissing him senseless, but he’s absolutely certain he doesn’t give a fuck.

“Down,” Henry says firmly, bringing Alex’s attention to the fact that he’s been maneuvered right over to Henry’s neatly made bed. “Right there, hop on.”

Alex kicks off his shoes and scrambles to get on the bed, leaving his near-empty mug of coffee on the floor. He rolls over on his back and settles against Henry’s pillows, watching with interest as Henry lingers by his bedside table. “There’s rather a lot of lost time to make up for, don’t you think?” Henry asks, his eyes intent on Alex.

“Yeah,” Alex says immediately. “Yes. Definitely. Fucking stellar. Let’s fucking—”

“So impatient,” Henry huffs. He pulls out the top drawer and casually tosses a bottle of lube and a whole box of condoms on top of the sheets. “There we go.”

… Oh.

Alex bites down hard on his lower lip. This is exactly where he’d thought this was headed — it’s where he fucking wants this to go — and yet his mind still draws a weird blank when he stares at the items Henry just retrieved. “Uh. Dumb fucking question, but are we having sex? Is that, like, a thing that’s happening?”

Henry settles on the bed next to Alex and pokes Alex’s shoulder to make him scoot over a bit. “Sex was the idea,” he says levelly. “Did you think we’d make up for lost time by playing Scrabble?”

“Of course not,” Alex says, rolling his eyes. Not that he can’t think of ways to make Scrabble with Henry incredibly sexy, but still. “I’m just kind of new to this, y’know?”

Henry hums thoughtfully. He touches Alex’s shoulder again, much gentler this time. His grin, however, is absolutely merciless. “You’re new to condoms?”

“You’re such a fucking dick,” Alex snaps. His own wide grin definitely gives him away. “No. I’m not new to condoms.”

“So you’re new to dick,” Henry translates. He gives Alex’s shoulder a firm squeeze. It’s soothing, which Alex doesn’t really need, but the gesture is not unwelcome. “I’d thought as much, seeing as you have an intriguing history of claiming to be straight. Repeatedly. About once a month for the year and a half I've known you."

“God, you’re the fucking worst.” Alex reaches for Henry’s jeans, thumbing pointedly at the button. “I thought I was straight, alright? Can we go back to the part where you teach me your gay ways without being fucking insufferable about it?”

“I’m fully intending on being insufferable about every part of this,” Henry says. His voice doesn’t waver even when Alex lets the heel of his palm push curiously against Henry’s tragically clothed crotch. There’s an element of control there that Alex is apparently so outrageously into, he’s honestly mad about it. “Other items on my list include self-satisfaction, smugness and general delight. You’ve been warned. Were you planning on taking my trousers off today, or…?”

Alex rolls his eyes. Two can play at this game. “I dunno, is that on your fucking list?” he drawls, pulling his hand pointedly away. A few, exhilarating seconds pass, during which they have some sort of sexy staring contest to which Alex doesn’t actually know the rules. Then Henry huffs out an impatient breath and nods, just once, and Alex’s face splits into a satisfied grin.

Victory.

He can’t get his hands back on Henry fast enough.

It’s weird, maybe, that all of this feels so easy. Alex works in tandem with Henry to get rid of all their clothes, and it’s a wild mix of sexy and dumb and intimate and hilarious, but not a single second feels awkward or uncomfortable. Alex’s jeans get caught on his right foot, which leads to Henry climbing to the foot of the bed and cursing the garment five times over while Alex snorts with laughter, but as soon as it’s come off Henry proceeds to slowly kiss his way up Alex’s thighs, causing Alex to fist his hands in the sheets and say a great many words, the vast majority of them some variation of please. It’s all overwhelmingly fucking perfect, and Alex can’t believe this is only their first time sharing a moment like this. There’s an unwavering sureness between them that feels anything but new.

“Alright,” Henry murmurs eventually, breaking off a heated kiss to scoot back a little. “I’d really, really like to fuck you. Please.”

“Yeah,” Alex says immediately. It’s honestly a no-brainer. “D’you wanna—”

“You should get yourself ready,” Henry suggests. He retrieves the bottle of lube and pushes it into Alex’s hands. “Best way to learn how, I’d say.”

“Right.” Alex glances between the lube and Henry. He’s got no fucking clue how this usually goes. “Should I just… go to town, then? What’s the protocol here?”

Henry doesn’t roll his eyes, but it’s a near thing. Instead he takes the bottle back from Alex and opens it, squeezing out a generous amount in Alex’s hand. He motions for Alex to rub his fingers together, pausing to slot an extra pillow behind Alex’s back so he’s kind of propped up a little. Then he nudges Alex’s legs apart and carefully guides Alex’s hand towards his opening.

“There,” Henry says, pulling back his own hand. “Go slow, just one finger at first. There’s no rush—”

“Oh really, I was gonna shove my whole hand in there.”

“Good call,” Henry says curtly, because he’s still a fucking dick. “You do that.”

Alex grins at him. “So glad you agree,” he drawls. Then he lets out a breath and pokes his index finger experimentally at the rim. “... Huh.”

“There’s no rush,” Henry repeats, softer this time. He puts his hands on Alex’s thighs and stares intently at Alex’s spread legs, and fuck, that’s sexy. That’s impossibly hot. “You’re doing really well.”

“I’ve barely done anything.”

“Believe me, you’re doing plenty.” Henry grins up at him before his eyes dart back to where Alex has just pushed his finger inside to the first knuckle. “How does that feel, love?”

“Ugh,” Alex says eloquently. Fuck. It should be fucking illegal for Henry to call him that. It’s more than Alex can process, for whatever reason. “I… fuck. Good? I’m good.”

“Your finger just slipped in,” Henry says. He squeezes Alex’s thighs encouragingly. “You’re relaxing. That’s perfect.”

“I do feel relaxed,” Alex agrees. He twists his finger slowly inside himself, pushing in as far as he can reach. “Huh. That’s not bad.”

“Perfect.” Henry nudges Alex’s legs a little further apart. “Think you can take another?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. He pulls back out and slowly presses two fingers back in, and it’s… it’s fine. It’s slippery and a little weird, but fine. “That feels okay.”

“So we’re working our way up from ‘okay’,” Henry tells him levelly. He sounds determined in a way Alex can’t get enough of. “Try pushing in and out a few times.”

Alex complies, quickly noting how each push inside goes just a little easier. The friction is mildly pleasant, too. “Alright, that’s… decent.”

“Good.” Henry leans even closer to watch Alex’s fingers slipping in and out. “Can you spread your fingers apart, just a bit?”

“Yeah, I… oh.” Alex squeezes his eyes shut, gasping. That felt way better than okay. “I think—”

“Yeah,” Henry says roughly. “Again, go on. Right there.”

Alex moves his fingers faster, chasing after that burst of pleasure from before. It doesn’t take him too long to find his way back, and fuck, that’s amazing. That’s the best feeling ever. That’s way better than—

“Three,” Henry says somewhere above him, his hand brushing against Alex’s wrist. “You can take three, I promise… there you go. So good for me, love.”

“Oh my god.”

“Stretch yourself out a little more,” Henry instructs firmly. His hand rests on Alex’s arm now, urging him on. “Perfect. So good. I want you to work up to four, okay?”

“Pretty sure I could take you now,” Alex pants. God, he feels fucking delerious with want. “Come on, I—”

“Four,” Henry repeats stubbornly, and Alex scrambles to comply. It takes him a little more effort than he’d thought to push back in, but it’s mere seconds before he’s sliding smoothly in and out. “Good, Alex. You’re being so good.”

“Fuck,” Alex whines. He throws his head back against the pillows. “Henry, please.”

“I’ve got you.” There’s the sound of plastic crinkling, and Alex whips his head back up so fast he almost pulls a muscle. It’s worth it when he gets to watch Henry roll a condom onto himself efficiently. “Pull out.”

Alex yanks his fingers out of his ass, immediately grasping for Henry’s hips, and everything feels sticky and messy and Alex couldn’t fucking care less. “Fuck, please. Move.”

“So bossy,” Henry tuts, and then he’s grinning and brushing just the tip of his dick over Alex’s hole. “Of course you’d be extraordinarily impatient. I should’ve known.”

“You’re the fucking worst,” Alex declares hotly. “I’m fucking ready, okay, let’s get this fucking show on the fucking road—”

“If you’d wanted a show,” Henry says, eyes glinting, “I would’ve been happy to oblige.”

Then he slowly pushes his dick inside, and Alex lets out a long, desperate, undignified whine. “Fuck.”

“Okay?” Henry asks tightly, pausing diligently around halfway in, and Alex loves and hates him in equal measure.

“If you don’t move, I’m gonna fucking sue.”

“We can’t have that,” Henry agrees levelly. “Hold tight.”

He grabs Alex by the waist and pushes all the way inside, immediately setting a fast pace, and fuck. It’s fucking amazing. Alex meets Henry’s thrusts desperately, and he knows there are words falling from his lips but he doesn’t have a clue what the fuck they are. He thinks some of it might not be words at all, which isn’t a first for him but it’s also not what he’s used to. Henry apparently brings it out in him, though, and isn’t that another fucking revelation; that being thoroughly fucked by a gorgeous guy can feel so singularly good.

Maybe it’s not so much the guy part, though, or even the being-fucked part. Maybe it’s just Henry, the whole package of him; sly grins and gentle touches and those devastatingly blue eyes. Maybe this is what it feels like to be utterly ruined for anyone else.

It’s not long before Alex gets close. Henry must know, somehow, because he picks up his pace and reaches for Alex’s dick, jerking it a few times in time with his thrusts, and that’s it. Alex tips over the edge with a startled groan, his whole body going taut from the intensity of it all. Henry thrusts a few more times before he follows, laughing softly in some sort of orgasmic euphoria, and fuck. Alex has the delirious urge to frame that sound and decorate their walls with it. He’s sure it’d look pretty.

Henry pulls himself out shakily, holding himself carefully above Alex. His breaths are ragged. “Christ.”

“Ugh,” Alex agrees. He fumbles for Henry’s waist. “C’mere.”

Henry, the fucking gentleman, tries to shift to the side. “Alex, I’m rather filthy—”

“You’re perfect,” Alex babbles. He’s never gonna live this down. “Come here.”

Henry relents, allowing Alex to pull him down right on top of him. Alex buries his face in Henry’s neck and grins with satisfaction while they both catch their breaths. He could get used to this. Fuck. He could really, really get used to this.

“So,” Alex says slowly, sliding his hands from Henry’s waist to his ass. God, that’s fucking nice. “Can I touch base with you on what happens now? Just real quick.”

Henry shifts on top of him. “We should probably shower,” he suggests lightly. “Separately, seeing as they’re communal. Also, I haven’t had breakfast—”

“We should date.”

Henry pushes himself upwards, just enough to meet Alex’s eyes. He looks baffled, which Alex isn’t sure how to take. “Come again?”

“We should date,” Alex repeats firmly. “You’re single now, right? And I’m pretty sure Darren won’t take you back after all that, so one might say I’m your best fucking bet.”

“My best bet,” Henry repeats incredulously. “Alex. Darren was never more than a misguided attempt at getting over you.”

“Fuck,” Alex says succinctly. He stares at Henry. “Baby. Really?”

“God, why did I tell you that?" Henry asks flatly. He rolls over on his back and covers his eyes with the back of his hand. “I've changed my mind, I’m only mildly interested in you. Not so much that you have any reason to be an arse about it.”

“I’m pretty sure you said what you said, sweetheart,” Alex informs him gleefully. He shuffles closer to Henry, tucking himself comfortably into his side and biting back a dumb grin when Henry immediately wraps an arm around him. “You didn’t write that in your post, though. Why?”

That makes Henry fucking freeze. “Sorry, what?”

“Um.” Oh, fuck. “I sort of… read your Reddit post? ‘Am I the asshole for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of—”

“Christ,” Henry mutters. He pulls his hand away from his eyes so he can stare at Alex in disbelief. “No. How the hell did you even find that?”

“By accident,” Alex admits. “I was on my phone, Reddit is a public website. Did you realize you wrote a whole fucking essay about our curry thing?”

“Right,” Henry says stiffly. “A grave miscalculation on my part. My only intention with that post was, frankly, to complain to strangers on the Internet about my irrational boyfriend. I hope you weren’t offended by it?”

“Not at all,” Alex says quickly. He offers Henry another grin. “And according to Reddit, Darren is the fucking asshole, so he can suck it big time. Also, isn’t it wild that there are a few thousand people out there who think we should fuck?”

Henry shifts closer to Alex again. He reaches out to trail his fingertips down Alex’s jaw, and it’s like his touch has a ripple effect all through Alex’s body; a shiver runs down his spine, his heartbeat quickens, his mouth feels oddly dry. Fuck. “I’d say,” Henry starts, his tone decidedly inviting, “that I’m rather more interested in your opinion on the matter, Alex.”

“Well, I definitely think we should fuck,” Alex informs him quickly. “I know we just did, but like, again. Repeatedly. Also, what’s your stance on the whole dating thing? You never said.”

“I’m in favour,” Henry says firmly. Still, there’s something a little incredulous in his tone. “Alex, sorry, but are you out? Did I miss that?”

“It’s kind of in progress, I guess?” Alex admits. He runs through the last eight hours in his mind, trying to remember what he’s actually told who. “Nora and June have definitely figured out I’m into you, for starters — they knew before I did, which was extremely annoying. But they’re high up on my list of people to come out to ASAP. Like, properly.”

“Right.” Henry watches Alex unsurely for a moment. “Nora, as in your ex?”

“Yeah, but apparently she and June have a thing now,” Alex explains. Maybe that doesn’t make things less confusing, but it is what it is. “They’re not putting a label on it, or whatever, so I’m probably not supposed to talk about it, but if you’re my boyfriend I’d say I have some leeway.”

“Right,” Henry says again. His expression has turned fonder the longer Alex has rambled. “I suppose that’s as good a reason as any.”

Alex pauses momentarily. He can’t make sense of that. “To do what?”

“To date you,” Henry says, rolling his eyes. “You’re saying your friendships with your sister and her lover depend on it? I’ve dated other men for far worse reasons.”

Yes. Alex feels a sudden rush of exhilaration. He wants to scream out loud and punch the air, but that’d be awfully undignified. He can be cool about this. At least for, like, a few minutes. “Yeah, guys like fucking Darren,” he drawls, a sly grin taking over his face. “Who you only dated just because you never thought I’d—”

“You’re a menace,” Henry tells him curtly, his eyes glinting with amusement, and Alex hears something entirely different. “What am I to do with you, love?”

“I’ve got some ideas,” Alex says quickly. He kind of really does. “I know you wanted a shower, and like, I’m not fucking opposed, but we’ve got another bed with clean sheets right there across the room, and it’s occurred to me I’ve never given a blowjob in my life. Any chance you’d let me try?”

Henry stares at him. “What a hardship,” he says drily. “How shall I ever bear it?”

Alex grins at him. “Well, come on then—”

“Not so fast.” Henry sits up a little, surveying the room. “Within the past hour, you’ve spilled coffee all over the floor and ruined these sheets, and now you’re suggesting we move on to the next bed. Is that an accurate summary?”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure we ruined the sheets. That wasn’t a solo operation.”

“Still, this won’t do,” Henry says. He’s weirdly matter-of-fact for someone who’s actively delaying their own orgasm. “No, don’t give me that look. I know where this ends if we don’t set some ground rules. I want you to do three things for me, as per usual: clean up the coffee, change the sheets and get me a box of wet wipes. Then we can discuss further sexual activity.”

Alex stares at him. He’s not sure whether Henry bossing him around should be this much of a turn-on. “The fuck?”

“Three things,” Henry repeats firmly. The grin he offers Alex is insufferably knowing. “I’m sure you’ll manage. Don’t you want to be good for me, Alex?”

“God, you’re the fucking worst.” Alex is already pushing himself up from the bed, because apparently he’s gonna have to go get new fucking sheets. It’s such a Henry thing, to demand clean ones right before they’re gonna ruin them again. Alex is completely obsessed with it. “The second I’m done with this, I’m sucking your dick until you see stars.”

“Fine by me,” Henry says fondly. He rises swiftly from the bed, leaning against the wall and running a hand through his already tousled hair as he watches Alex get to work. He looks the very picture of debauchery; Alex wants to fucking devour him. “Carry on, love.”

Alex has never changed a pair of sheets so fast in his life.

That same afternoon, after a lot of sex and several cozy naps, Alex kisses Henry’s forehead and rolls out of bed. Henry shifts over on his side to watch Alex search for his boxers. “Where are you going, love?”

“To June’s.” Alex pulls on his boxers and reaches for his jeans. “Or more likely to Nora’s, but I wanna see both of them. I’m gonna tell them.”

“Oh,” Henry says. His voice comes out soft and a little curious. “About us?”

“Yeah. And, y’know, about me, but definitely about us.” Alex picks up Henry’s striped sweater and pulls it on without thinking. He freezes just as he’s about to push the sleeves up — Henry’s staring intently at him, his eyes fixed on the sweater. “Fuck, did you want this back? I can find something else—”

“For god’s sake,” Henry says flatly. “Keep it on, obviously. Do you have any idea how you look, wearing my clothes?”

Alex flashes him a wide grin. “You like it, baby?”

Henry gets out of his bed. He walks over to where Alex stands, sliding both of his hands down Alex’s chest. “You look like you’re mine, Alex, which is a concept I’m quite outrageously into.”

Alex’s breath hitches. He reaches up to touch Henry’s cheek, gently cradling Henry’s face in his hand. “Baby, I’m yours. I’m completely yours. Do you wanna come with me when I tell June and Nora? Wearing your stuff always reminds me of you, but it’s got nothing on the real thing.”

Henry leans in closer, his lips a mere breath away from Alex’s. “Of course,” he says warmly. “How about a kiss for good luck?”

Alex tilts his head up eagerly, bringing their lips together and smiling into the kiss when Henry puts his arms around Alex’s waist.

They don’t stop at just one kiss.

r/AmItheAsshole • Posted by u/speedo_69 5 hours ago

AITA for thinking my ex moved on too fast?

I (20M) and my boyfriend (21M) recently broke up. My boyfriend has a roommate (20M) with whom he’s had a suspiciously close relationship the whole time we dated. He would talk about his roommate constantly, and it was clear they spent a lot of time together — much more time than my boyfriend ever spent with me.

It all came to a head on Valentine’s Day when I’d planned a romantic date as a surprise for my boyfriend, but to MY surprise my boyfriend had gone out to dinner with his dumb roommate. And apparently he didn’t wanna abandon his curry or whatever, so he stood me up to spend the whole fucking night with his roommate. On Valentine’s Day! I was so pissed off. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

My boyfriend dumped me the next day. I asked him if something had been going on between him and his roommate and he said no. I honestly wanted to believe him but I had a really bad feeling. I also wanted to see if there was any chance we could try one more time to make things work, so I went to see him the next morning. At first the roommate wasn’t there, which was fucking perfect, but then he showed up after I’d talked to my boyfriend for about ten minutes. My boyfriend IMMEDIATELY went over to his fucking roommate, asking him where he’d been as if he’d been all worried, saying THEY needed to talk. And then he fucking asked ME to leave.

I stood my ground and kept demanding answers, because I’d finally had enough. My boyfriend kept insisting that there was nothing going on between him and his roommate. But then his roommate suddenly started talking about how he thought he and my boyfriend should fuck, just out of fucking nowhere? The nerve of that guy! And then all of a sudden they were kissing, and it was like I wasn’t even there.

I left shortly after, because what was I supposed to do — just watch as the guy who’d dumped me made out with the guy he’d claimed not to cheat on me with?! I honestly wasn’t sure I hadn’t hallucinated the whole thing. But I just checked Facebook, and my boyfriend has deleted our relationship and now lists his goddamn roommate as his boyfriend instead. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since he dumped me, and now I have to watch his dumb fucking friends gush about how fucking ‘perfect’ he and his roommate are together and how they were always ‘meant to be’.

I’m so fucking mad. I still don’t believe my ex didn’t cheat on me. So Reddit, am I the asshole for thinking my ex moved on way too fast? Or is HE the asshole for lying about cheating on me and then making out with his secret lover before I’d even left the room?

4.5k Comments

 

7MinutesInHeaven · 4 hr. Ago
Oh, boy. Time to get the popcorn.

itsametaphor · 3 hr. Ago
Nobody tell him. NOBODY TELL HIM. We must protect our favorite Roommate Boyfriends at all costs!

show_me_what_ur_working_wth · 3 hr. Ago
Hey there, pal. I’m often told I’m a psychic, so let me try something on you: is there any chance your ex has an internship at a literary magazine, while you’re on a university sports team? Your aura gives me that vibe.

piss-up_in_a_brewery · 5 hr. Ago
IT’S YOU YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE FUCK YOU YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DOUCHE

ASportingCh4nce · 3 hr. Ago
Since no one else is sticking to the script, I’m gonna volunteer my opinion: you’re most definitely the asshole and your ex is way better off without you. Now go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

austen_lover97 · 1 hr. Ago
Without a doubt, you are the asshole. Also, Alex gives better blowjobs after one lesson than you’ll do in your whole life. Kindly fuck off.