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Pinky Promise

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Author’s note:

Set in season 8. Technically Eli wasn’t born til season 9, and Elliot and Kathy were separated and “figuring things out,” buuuut I enjoyed the dynamic of Bensler’s relationship during this season specifically. Plus this is Fiction so I bent the rules to my will! Enjoy. Shout out to @eo_bells for making me post this.

*

They were both a sweaty mess by the time they worked each other up to the point of orgasm.

“Oh, El I’m– El, I’m gonna c-'' Olivia panted as she lay below him, clinging to his sweaty back.

“C’mon, Liv. Right there with you.” Elliot thrusted a few more times, hard and fast. “God, I’m right there with you.” Elliot felt her clench around him, arching her back and letting out a string of profanities as she began to tumble over the edge. Elliot reached down and rubbed her clit, resulting in her making a squeal so high pitched that he made sure to commit it to memory… for future reference. He made sure the greater part of her orgasm was over, and like a gentleman, he would come last. Elliot pumped once more before he whispered, “Liv, I’m gonna pull out.”

Olivia shook her head and tightened her locked ankles behind his butt, drawing him further in. It didn’t matter anymore. “Inside, El. I need to feel you. All of you.”

“Are you sure because- '' Olivia cut him off by pulling his face to hers and kissing him hard. She nodded once more and tightened the muscles of her walls around his dick. He groaned and spilled inside of her, gripping her right hip so hard she knew he’d leave a bruise. But she didn’t care– it wasn't the first time and surely it wouldn’t be the last. “Christ, Olivia,” cried Elliot. Olivia moaned as she felt him filling her and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding at the sensation. “Feel that?” he asked, lazily thrusting his hips and allowing her muscles to completely milk him.

“Mmm, I feel it,” she breathily whispered, closing her eyes.

When he was finished, he collapsed on top of her, making sure not to place all his weight on her, and laid his head in between the space of her breasts. He pressed feather-like kisses to the soft skin and Olivia’s eyes fluttered open, looking down at him.“Hi,” she smiled contentedly, holding his head with her right hand and rubbing his back with the other.

“Hello there, gorgeous.” Elliot rested his chin against her as he peered up at her. “I love you so much,” he said. She nodded and whispered, “I love you.” Olivia shifted a bit and Elliot tried to pull out of her but she squeezed his hips with her thighs and cradled his head. “No, no. Stay just for a second.”

He nodded and let her hold him there rubbing his thumb against the dip of her waist. The evening sunset poured into Olivia’s room reminding them that he had to leave soon. They both had finished work early and had spent the remainder of the afternoon at Olivia’s apartment, sharing takeout Chinese. She’d been declining his gesture of bringing her favorite bottle of wine for awhile now.

Olivia knew he always had to go back to his wife and kids. He had to go home. Elliot heard her sniffle and he looked up again. “Hey, hey, hey,” Elliot whispered, growing concerned. “What’s the matter?” He pulled out of her and she let him this time, shaking her head and rolling over to face away from him. They had been doing this for a little over a year now and each time it got harder and harder for her to watch him leave. She wanted him, completely and wholly, just as she had given herself to him. But she understood the circumstances in which this was all created. They started in secret, hiding from his wife. So what should she expect to change now?

Elliot reached around and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Olivia, talk to me, please.” She shook his hand off of her and pulled the blankets around her, shielding her naked body from him. Olivia sniffled once more and then blew out a breath. There she lay, consumed in her thoughts again. How dare she fall in love with a married man and then expect him to choose her, to pick her over a stable home. He had everything a good Catholic man would want. Elliot had children that loved him, a wife to cook, clean, and take care of the household. Afterall, Olivia felt she never had those exact desires or could ever even fulfill that role until…

“Liv, please,” Elliot called again.

Olivia decided that now was as good a time as ever to break the news. “Elliot, I’m pregnant,” she whispered so softly she thought the words never passed her lips. She felt the bed shift and then a silence fell over them. A silence so loud she pleaded in her head for him to say something, to say anything.

“You’re what?”

“Pregnant, Elliot,” she said pointedly this time. “I’m pregnant. I know you’re well versed in what that means.”

He swallowed hard and ran his hand down the scruff of his face. “Well, is it mine?”

Olivia looked over her shoulder at him and narrowed her reddened, tear-filled eyes. “What-” she sat up, bringing the blanket with her and holding it to her chest. Anger quickly replaced sadness as she squeezed the soft fabric shielding her nakedness from him. “What did you just ask me?” she spat.

“Liv-”

“No! How could you ask me something like that?!”

He reached for her hand and she pulled away. “I didn't mean-”

“Oh, I’m good enough to screw behind your wife’s back. I’m good enough to be yet another warm space for you to lay your dick, as if your wife isn’t enough, but I’m not good enough to carry your baby? Having your baby is just so unimaginable, huh?” she spat, venom filling each word as they left her mouth. Olivia’s chest was heaving at this point and her cheeks were flushed. She hated herself for allowing him to see her cry this way, to see her this vulnerable.

Elliot kicked himself for yet again, not thinking before he spoke and he truly didn't mean it the way it sounded. “Baby-”

“Don't-” she pointed at the short haired man, trying to keep her voice low. She didn’t need her nosey next door neighbor knocking on her door again. “Don't you dare baby me, Elliot Stabler. You know how I feel about that word.” She got out of bed and picked up the same oversized shirt her lover had so easily shed from her body an hour ago. “Yes,” she huffed and slid the shirt over her body. Elliot watched as his shirt fell to her mid-thigh. “Yes, it’s yours, you smug bastard! “I’m not screwing anyone else on the side! Can you say the same? I like to stay faithful to one person at a time, despite what you and everyone else thinks. You should try it sometime.”

She grabbed her phone. “Don’t follow me,” she warned before stomping off to the bathroom, leaving Elliot sitting on the left side of her bed trying to figure out where he went wrong. He cursed himself and then took a look at his watch. Kathy would be calling soon but that was the least of his worries right now. After gathering His thoughts, Elliot slid out of her bed and slipped into his boxer briefs. He padded over to the bathroom and knocked. He heard her crying.

“Olivia,” he said softly.

“I thought I told you not to follow me!”

“Liv, what did you expect me to do? Let you sit in there and cry?”

“That was the whole point of me asking you not to follow me. So I can cry in peace.”

Elliot's shoulders slumped upon hearing the shakiness in her voice, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to the cool door. And then he pleaded softly, “Olivia, please open the door.” A few seconds had passed and she hadn’t said a word. Just sniffles here and there. “You know I’ll knock it down. Try explaining that to your landlord,” he tried.

“It’s not even locked, idiot,” Olivia half chuckled. “Did you even try to open it first?” Elliot sighed in relief as he pushed the door open to find her sitting cross legged with her back against the bathtub and a box of Kleenex tucked in her lap. Elliot looked down at her and gave a shy smile resulting in her flipping him the bird. My girl, thought Elliot. He chuckled in response as he walked over and sat beside her. Olivia found warmth in the proximity of his body heat, a stark contrast to that of the cold tile floor. Elliot pulled her close and to his surprise, she allowed it.

“You’re a bastard, you know that?” she croaked.

“Livvie love,” Elliot placed a tender kiss on the crown of her head. “I didn’t mean it that way, okay? I should have thought that through before I said it.”

“Yeah, ya think?”

“What I meant when I said that was… I meant– I meant that we’ve been so careful. You’re on the pill, I pull out as much as I can.”

“As much as you can,” the brunette made a face and mocked him while using air quotes, “being the operative phrase.”

“Right.”

“Look, El, I’m not trying to play the blame game here.” Olivia sat up and moved away a bit to create some space so that they could look at each other. Elliot looked down to see the remnants of their love-making crusted over and dried on her thigh and somehow his heart filled with pride. “I’ll admit that I’m not very faithful in taking my birth control. Sometimes I forget to take the pills and miss a day or two. But what you said was hurtful. I understand that you’ve got home and a wife and kids already, but carrying your child? Is it that appalling?”

“No, babe. No, it’s not– not at all,” he shook his head, shocked that she would even say such a thing. “I think it’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted to see you with a child– my child.” Elliot reached out and held her hand. “But not like this. You deserve more than this. You’re not some side chick, you’re not yet another place for me to lay my dick.” Tears welled in Olivia’s eyes as she heard him reiterate what she said earlier. “You’re my best friend, the love of my life, my girl, my everything and you deserve more than a lovechild. You deserve more than an affair. You deserve more than me coming over a few times a week to lay down with you and then watch me leave and go home to my kids and whatever wife I have left. You deserve to be shown off to the world like the queen you are, not hidden away like some dark secret. You don’t deserve the things I’ve put you through, and I’m so, so sorry.” Elliot reached out and wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“Then if you want me? If you want this? Give me what I deserve,” whispered Olivia with pleading eyes. “Because yes, yes I deserve those things. I always have.” He caressed her cheek and she leaned into it letting out a few sobs. “I don't know how,” she choked on her tears as she mentalliy kicked herself. “I don’t know how I let it get this far. I-I should have stopped this before. This is wrong on so many levels, El.”

He turned his body so that he could take her face in both hands. Elliot kissed her tears as she clung to his biceps. “Oh, Liv… Olivia Margaret.” It pained him to see her cry like that, to see her in so much pain, to see the love of his life, a woman so strong, so brave and sure, so confident and fierce, beg him, plead with him to change this around. “Shhh, shhh. Please don’t cry, my love, please-”

“I love you, Elliot. God, I love you with all my heart and all my soul, but I absolutely cannot… I will not–” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes in effort to get a grip on her emotions. He leaned his forehead against hers, really listening to her heart. “I deserve more, El. I deserve to live a happy open life full of love and warmth, and family.”

“Yes, yes, you do. I love you, Liv, and I wanna be with you. I wanna be there for you and for our baby. I wanna give you love, and warmth, and a family– all the children you want! I wanna give you all the things you deserve, all the things you want. I wanna put a ring on
your finger and–”

She pulled away and sank against the bathtub again with a roll of her eyes. “El, you keep singing me the same tune.”

“I can't sing,” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood. She reached over and punched his shoulder instead.

“Dick.”

He feigned pain as he grimaced and grabbed his shoulder. “That’s gonna leave a bruise.”

“Elliot-”

“Liv, look at me.” She followed his command, wiping a few more tears away. “I’m gonna give you the world, okay? I’m gonna tell Kathy what’s going on and I’m gonna figure it out, I swear to God.” She looked away again with a roll of her eyes, but he took her chin in his hand to force her to look at him. Olivia averted her eyes to the floor but he ducked his head, blue eyes making contact with her big brown orbs. “I will talk to Kathy and I will figure this out. I swear it, Olivia.” Elliot held out his pinky finger, and though Olivia looked at him quizzically she truly believed him this time. “Pinky promise?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Pfft, what are you? Five?”

Elliot knew it was a front. It had been their thing since Olivia had been around the Stabler kids. When the kids were small, they considered it their most sacred form of making a covenant, one that you should never break, and it carried over into Olivia and Elliot’s relationship. The pinky promise initially started out as a joke between the two detectives, but eventually they adopted the same thinking and held it to the same standard. You never, under any circumstances, break pinky promises.

Elliot gave her a knowing look resulting in Olivia scoffing once more. She wrapped her pinky finger with his and they kissed their respective thumbs, sealing the deal.
“Okay, El, okay.” Olivia drew her knees up to her chest and looked him square in the eyes. “But you better make good on this because you and I are one thing. I’m a big girl and I can handle it. I’ve handled pain and heartbreak my entire life. But hell will freeze over before I let you hurt this child. I will not raise a child in the dark, Elliot. This child deserves to have a father and to have a home, to not be treated as a dirty little secret. I’ll raise it on my own, I swear on my mother’s grave I will. This child will not know that kind of pain.”

“I will fix it, Liv. I will.” He reached over and pulled her so that she was straddling him. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and looked down at him. “Do you trust me?”

“With my whole life,” she breathed, emotions threatening to spill over once again.

“Then trust me when I say that I’m going to fix this. For you, for me,” he rubbed the back of his fingers over her damp cheeks and smiled that big smile that warmed her heart. “For little baby Stabler all snuggled in there.”

Olivia smirked. “Stabler? What makes you think the last name will be Stabler?” Olivia ran her fingertips over the short hairs of his neck. “The last thing this world needs is another Stabler running around.”

Elliot threw his head back and chuckled loud and hard at the memory of Eli’s birth. “I guess you weren’t too far off when you said I’d been in this situation before, hmm?”

Olivia laughed. “Oh, God, no!” She kissed his forehead and she saw him grimace. “Butt’s hurting from the tile?”

He squeezed her hips and nodded his head. “Yes, but I like having you sit on me like this.”

Olivia stood up and extended her hand to help him and he gladly took it. He kissed her passionately and turned them around so that they were facing the mirror. “El, are we gonna be okay?”

“We’re gonna be just fine.”

Elliot stood behind her and wrapped his hands around her abdomen, taking notice of a small bump. It was small enough to go unnoticed so long as no one was paying attention and easy enough to hide with her everyday clothes. “How far along are you?” asked Elliot, kissing the side of her neck. “I noticed the tiny pudge but I thought you might have gotten it from all the takeout I’ve been feeding you. You’ve got a small bump here.”

“I do.” She caressed his hands that were splayed across her belly. His right hand trailed down until it rested over her sex. “Around fifteen weeks now.”

“Fifteen?”

She nodded and let out a small laugh as his hand played with the soft curls at the apex of her thighs. “Yes, Elliot. Fifteen.”

Elliot’s hand moved further down and parted her lips. “And how did I not know that?”

“My period is all out of whack because of birth control and the stress of the job and I hmmm-” she moaned as he thumbed her clit, “skip sometimes, you know that.”

“That why you stopped drinking all that expensive wine I kept bringing over here?” Elliot rocked himself against her butt and she pushed back, widening her legs a little bit more to give him better access. Olivia nodded.

“I found out a while ago and,” Elliot slid two fingers inside, just like he knew she liked, and rested his palm against her clit. This was a bad angle for him, but for her pleasure, he would endure. “Everything was complicated and I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t know how to– ah! Yes, El! Right there!” she grit her teeth and grinded against his hand. Elliot continued kissing her neck and lifted her shirt with his free hand, taking the full view of her belly. His chest swelled with pride knowing that it was him who had impregnated her. This child was the result of their passionate lovemaking. Elliot wanted to bend her over and take her right against the counter but he wouldn’t do that right now. This was about her. He continued trailing his hand up until he tugged her nipple in between his thumb and index finger and she hissed.

“Sore?”

“It’s fine. Just be gentle.”

He nodded and continued his ministrations. “Still got my cum on you from the last time, hmm??” She moaned at his dirty talk. “Tell me what you need, Liv,” he whispered in her ear. “Wanna make you feel so good.”

“Your– I need you inside me,” she panted.

Elliot shook his head. “I’d love that but this is about you. Look at yourself, Olivia.” Her eyes fluttered open and she took notice of how Elliot held her so tightly. How her right hand held her small baby bump tenderly as Elliot’s hand pumped in and out of her. “So, so beautiful,” he whispered tenderly. He dipped his thumb in her mouth and she eagerly sucked, sending a flood of pleasure to Elliot’s rock hard member. He pulled it out, making a popping sound and thumbed her other nipple. “You’re perfect. So strong, so fierce.” He added a little more pressure against her clit and she cried out. Olivia took her free hand and tugged on the abandoned nipple while undulating against his hand.

“Yes, Elliot!” Olivia tried to close her eyes again. “Don’t stop! Oh, oh– I’m so close!”

“Ah ah,” he said. “Open them.” and he rewarded her with the action of curling his fingers to hit her g-spot for her compliance.

“God, Elliot! Deep!”

“I want you to see yourself, see how beautiful you look when I make you come.” He felt her clenching against him and he tightened his hold on her, knowing that her legs tended to go weak when she came. Olivia let out a high pitched whine and her mouth dropped. “Don’t you close those beautiful eyes, Olivia.”

“Deep, baby,” she panted, staring at him in the mirror. “Please make me come.” He smirked at her use of the term and then adjusted to give himself more leverage. He plunged deeper, harder, faster.

“Like that?”

“Yeahhhh!” She squealed as she sucked her bottom lip, focusing on chasing her release. The familiar feeling hit her low in her stomach and she knew it was right there.

“You’re almost there, love. I can feel you clenching around me.” Elliot pumped some more creating a swooshing sound with her juices that was all-consuming. She could feel it running down her thigh. “You hear that, Liv?” He watched as her mouth hung open, her head leaned back against his shoulder. “That’s all you, baby. So warm and wet and tight for me. Just come,” he breathed. “I’m right here. I gotchu in my arms and I won’t let you fall, Liv. I will never let you fall.”

Tears welled in her eyes after that statement. He didn't just mean that literally speaking. He meant that from his heart, from his soul. She knew no matter what happened, come hell or waters deep or high, he would not let her fall and that alone touched the most intimate parts of her.

“Come, Olivia.”

“Oh, God, El!” she moaned loudly. “I’m gonna– Elliot, I’m coming!” She gripped the forearm between her legs to hold him there as she rode out her orgasm and Olivia allowed her legs to go limp. Everything was on fire and she swore she felt her orgasm flood her veins, flood her heart.

“That’s it baby,” he praised softly as he kissed her neck. “So beautiful.” He pumped and pumped until her high pitched squeals became soft sobs. “So, so beautiful.” Her grip on his forearm loosened and she slumped against him.

“I love you,” she whispered, tears running down her cheeks. “I love you so much.”

He slowly withdrew his hands and turned her around in his arms, holding her against his chest and kissing her head. “I love you, Olivia. More than anything in the world. And I need you.” She nodded against his chest. They stood there for a few moments, just holding and embracing each other. They weren’t sure where tomorrow would lead them, but they knew that they were strong enough to fight through whatever would come their way. They would figure it out. Together.

Olivia noticed that he was soft against her belly. “El, did you come?”

“A while ago actually,” he sighed and shrugged. “Seeing you all worked up like that and enjoying yourself? I couldn't help it.”

The both of them peeled away from each other and Elliot heated up the water for them to shower.

“I am a mess aren’t I?” Olivia chuckled while looking down at the mix of old and new liquid running down her legs.

“A beautiful mess,” corrected Elliot. He helped her out of her clothes and they washed each other.

*

After finishing up in the shower, Elliot padded to the kitchen and returned with two bottles of water. He handed her one and then snuggled in bed beside her. She yawned and looked at her alarm clock which read ten thirty.

“Elliot?” she questioned as he turned off the lamp light.

“Hmm??” He pulled her close so that she was laying on his chest with one leg draped between his. Elliot rubbed soothing circles on her lower back as he held her.

“It’s after ten. Shouldn't you be heading home soon?”

“I am home.”

Olivia sighed. “Elliot, I’m serious. Your kids?”

“I haven’t quite figured that part out yet. But I told Kathy I wouldn't be coming back there tonight.”

This is new, she thought. They might have cuddled for a bit, but Elliot always went home after they’d had sex. Olivia scrunched her face up though he couldn't see her and asked, “Why would you do that?”

Elliot heard the apprehension in her voice and then kissed her forehead. “Because I made a pinky promise. And the rule of the game is that you never, ever break a pinky promise.”